So You Think You're Trans- FTM Life

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  • Опубліковано 16 сер 2017
  • Come See Me!
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    Intro/Outro by David Groulx

КОМЕНТАРІ • 501

  • @6luelights2
    @6luelights2 5 років тому +552

    Why does he Look like he belongs in the chainsmokers

    • @linzelllinzell3803
      @linzelllinzell3803 4 роки тому +5

      His hair

    • @cecilitaf
      @cecilitaf 4 роки тому +4

      Because The Chainsmokers are all FTMs! 😂

    • @Simpishluc
      @Simpishluc 4 роки тому +2

      So I'm not the only one!

    • @gaygoc
      @gaygoc 4 роки тому +3

      cause he's handsome

  • @ejrobert4715
    @ejrobert4715 6 років тому +677

    "Queer events in your town"
    Ha
    Haha
    Hahahahahaaaa
    You thought, my town is so religious and conservative church is full half an hour before service, every day of the week. There's four churches, all full.

    • @TravelingwiththeGramkracker
      @TravelingwiththeGramkracker 6 років тому +15

      EJ Robert keep looking there might be something..... my area is like that too and I found an underground brotherhood.... and remember we are here too.... Sir!

    • @envyrem
      @envyrem 5 років тому +5

      There's 11 churches in my very small town
      It's genuinely frightening

    • @randomweirdness6431
      @randomweirdness6431 5 років тому +1

      Better yet, I'm 13 i can't drive and I'm not asking my ma to drive me cuz that's a no

    • @justtessa755
      @justtessa755 5 років тому +1

      B R O there are churches every two blocks where i live in deep alabama which isn’t a problem by itself but the people in the churches are really homophobic and all of the churches besides one preach anti gay stuff

    • @alessandraoliveri4528
      @alessandraoliveri4528 5 років тому +1

      Our mayor banned pride because it was "gross"

  • @lylemayes7663
    @lylemayes7663 6 років тому +367

    it took me 6 months to even accept the fact that i 'might' be trans but after 2 years i know i am

    • @kittycatdays8719
      @kittycatdays8719 4 роки тому +9

      Nice! I’ve been thinking for about 5-6 months and I think I am. I’m going for the name Everett :) Avengers fans assemble!

    • @chaennobon3851
      @chaennobon3851 4 роки тому +5

      im in 10th grade and have been thinking seriously ab it since 5th 😭 im getting closer to thinking i am

    • @rainbowpanic5632
      @rainbowpanic5632 4 роки тому +4

      It took me 3 years to accept I might be trans heh

    • @JJ-ec9lp
      @JJ-ec9lp 4 роки тому +4

      Took me 4 years yikes

    • @idiomatic444
      @idiomatic444 4 роки тому +3

      It took me a year to accept it lol

  • @loveasterdrian3342
    @loveasterdrian3342 6 років тому +366

    I’m exploring first by cutting all my hair off

    • @spazmatismsf385
      @spazmatismsf385 5 років тому +43

      Same! though i am not telling anybody why or anything about it! 😁

    • @kierstenmayer7636
      @kierstenmayer7636 4 роки тому +11

      Love Asterdrian lmao me too fam, rock on with the rad short hair

    • @dantecalamity
      @dantecalamity 4 роки тому +8

      Me too!! That's like one of the first steps for me, I'm starting with chest binding

    • @erenyeager-jr2ch
      @erenyeager-jr2ch 4 роки тому +2

      Darth Scil SAME

    • @erenyeager-jr2ch
      @erenyeager-jr2ch 4 роки тому +1

      Love Asterdrian same

  • @assassinscreedreallifepran1080
    @assassinscreedreallifepran1080 5 років тому +298

    I realized I am trans ftm because since I was 7 I thought it's cooler and easier to be a boy.
    At 10 I realized I don't want to be a girl.
    Now at 12 I realize I am trans

    • @kierstenmayer7636
      @kierstenmayer7636 4 роки тому +35

      Assassin's Creed Real life pranks hey man I’m here if you need me. Totally up for being a big bro to all my rad young trans dudes. (I’m 15 lmao don’t worry)

    • @yams.420
      @yams.420 4 роки тому +6

      Assassin's Creed Real life pranks we are bout the same age so if you see this please message I would like to talk with youu:)

    • @James-oe4he
      @James-oe4he 4 роки тому +6

      Me too bro i just called my older brother (gay) and told him tomorrow im gonna tell my friends and meet up with my brother things are going good even though I've only been openly trans for 6 minutes now

    • @rin8512
      @rin8512 4 роки тому +7

      Assassin's Creed Real life pranks were the same age and oof my parents just outed me and told me i'm too young and its a phase... now i'm watching this stuff and doubting myself

    • @joemamma6596
      @joemamma6596 4 роки тому +3

      Assassin's Creed Real life pranks same

  • @shawnboy20022
    @shawnboy20022 6 років тому +277

    I'm 33 and I'm going through the experiment phase right now. I bought a few feminine things off Amazon the other day just to try it out. Makeup a skirt and a cute wig.

    • @kierstenmayer7636
      @kierstenmayer7636 4 роки тому +24

      Justagirl proud of you fam. Be you and stay rad!

    • @PhantomCatcus
      @PhantomCatcus 4 роки тому +49

      I see by your pfp and name you've figured it out? Well done!

    • @jellyfishlamp3611
      @jellyfishlamp3611 3 роки тому +8

      You go girl! Theres never too late to discover your gender identity

    • @sleepyautumn9104
      @sleepyautumn9104 3 роки тому +8

      So proud of u

    • @username_773
      @username_773 2 роки тому +4

      I see that you've figured your self out and I so proud of you remember that it's never to early or late to find yourself

  • @alecbrady6901
    @alecbrady6901 6 років тому +373

    This is so perfect for me right now! I have had a rough day, I had panic earlier about my trans identity. I worry that I'm making it all up and this is a life changing decision that i might regret. When you said "try out pronouns, it's a feeling" I really realised that my identity is true, I am ok. I want to be known as he/him. She/her feels very uncomfortable. Thank you for your words on time. The waiting list is 15 months here in the uk for your first gender identity clinic appointment, and I am ready to wait and feel completely sure.

    • @James-ot2kf
      @James-ot2kf 6 років тому +24

      Alec Brady I totally relate. Most days I think to myself "what if I'm making it up? What if it IS a phase?" But then I'm like "James. You're clearly a boy. You realised this years ago. Come on."

    • @colinschultz8137
      @colinschultz8137 6 років тому +13

      Honestly same. Like I think it's a normal thing tho, I go by colin he/him and I start Testosterone soon and I'm nervous cause I don't wanna regret it years from now but when I look in the future I see myself as a male

    • @inesmatine9722
      @inesmatine9722 5 років тому +2

      I feel trans but I don’t feel comfortable with being called he/him

    • @euphratesleap6008
      @euphratesleap6008 5 років тому +2

      @@inesmatine9722 Maybe you can try other pronouns out?

    • @thatwasverypunny.-.
      @thatwasverypunny.-. 4 роки тому +1

      I can relate so much to this

  • @ThisIsMissCheeky
    @ThisIsMissCheeky 6 років тому +510

    I'm so confused, I need help. I like my feminine body and long hair but I'd also like to have a deep voice, beard and masculine body. I wish there was a way to be fully bigender, so I could choose when I want to look like a man and when I want to look like a woman.

    • @styx1137
      @styx1137 6 років тому +43

      Unknown Vampire maybe mix really feminin and very masculine things together, like grow a beard (if you can) and wear a nice dress or a suit and bold make up? If you're amab you could maybe wear a bra and put something in it to fill it out, our if you're afam stuff a sock down your pants and see if you like the look of it! I hope you figure something out that makes you feel comfortable, good luck!

    • @beaugeste2899
      @beaugeste2899 6 років тому +11

      Unknown Vampire -I hope you find a strong love soon. It's amazing when you meet the right person who loves you for who you. Hang in there now!

    • @mr.s0meb0dy99
      @mr.s0meb0dy99 5 років тому +39

      Serene Jaamac
      So you might be genderfluid

    • @jackaroni9475
      @jackaroni9475 5 років тому +36

      There is no way to keep a feminine body and still have male traits. You'll have one or the other. If you truly are trans, you'll be mostly dysphoric about your primary sex characteristics (chest, curves, genitalia). If so, then you most likely suffer from gender dysphoria, which means your trans. If your not dysphoric about those characteristics, then you're most likely not.

    • @weethereal
      @weethereal 5 років тому +10

      Thank you for putting into words what I've been feeling. Best of luck to you

  • @NoOneInParticular134
    @NoOneInParticular134 6 років тому +160

    I live in the South with an extremely homophobic/transphobic family, and honestly, for me I want to transition and come out as fast as possible.

    • @abrickshy1638
      @abrickshy1638 4 роки тому +20

      If your family is homophobic/transphobic I wouldn't come out until you move out

    • @kittycatdays8719
      @kittycatdays8719 4 роки тому +10

      Same. What the other commentator said though. Try to come out as late as you can, perhaps after you’ve moved out. If I’m correct at 18 you can already get trans stuff like HRT and surgery without anyone else’s signature. Good luck to you mate.

    • @croissantqueen4415
      @croissantqueen4415 3 роки тому

      I know this is completely off topic, but I love your profile picture. You a bmc fan?

    • @sharkie.boi.
      @sharkie.boi. 10 місяців тому

      Same, I have to push my dysphoria episodes to like 3 am but it builds up to fast and I have to take like 4 showers in very dim light to be able to be calm. I have just now started to hate showering because of dysphoria I used to love them but I can’t seem to bring myself to tell my parents why I’m so depressed and why I’m not as feminine as they want me to be. It’s not fair that they are Christian and Ginny the Bible and it says something like you must love all or something but they are always transphobic and homophobic so I’m always scared about coming out and getting kicked out, but the depression is getting to hard

  • @ihavenolife5014
    @ihavenolife5014 4 роки тому +70

    I’m an 11 year old girl and I just tried putting my hair in a ponytail and hiding it in a hoodie and I looked in a mirror and loved it

    • @ladyface601
      @ladyface601 4 роки тому +6

      hell yeah

    • @purityndanu3640
      @purityndanu3640 3 роки тому +13

      That doesn't mean anything 😂 you might be a tomboy you never know 😹😹

    • @None-dk2dq
      @None-dk2dq 3 роки тому +1

      thats great to hear look all of you are beautiful in your own way i support the you’re gender and always smile 😀

    • @Stephanie-lk5jf
      @Stephanie-lk5jf 3 роки тому +28

      that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re trans, a lot of cis women love having short hair. but if you feel happier and more like urself when people refer to you as a boy then you probably are.

    • @blockofgrass7928
      @blockofgrass7928 3 роки тому +11

      You might just love short hair, only that doesn't mean you're trans. It takes time, but you will figure it out :P 💖

  • @gisele3592
    @gisele3592 6 років тому +153

    I feel the rush for trans women is super valid, however. The rush to get puberty blockers or E before your voice breaks and bone structure changes can be important as testosterone is super powerful! I’m eternally fascinated to learn of the trans masc community to get a better idea of our community ❤️🌹

    • @vitazissel3671
      @vitazissel3671 5 років тому +1

      There's women with deep voices, it's just that pueburty is important in brain development and maturing bodies.

    • @abcdefgh6951
      @abcdefgh6951 2 роки тому +7

      That's the same for ftm's I think if you have suspicious you're trans puberty blockers are really good, there are also irreversible changes in afabs, wide hips etc

  • @okayokay6963
    @okayokay6963 6 років тому +85

    you kissing a cat is the purest thing I've seen today

    • @almamater489
      @almamater489 5 років тому +9

      Did you mean the _purrest_ thing?

  • @Komischer
    @Komischer 6 років тому +354

    I'm non-binary but desperately want top surgery and I don't know how to feel about that honestly.

    • @sethsinclair4936
      @sethsinclair4936 6 років тому +77

      That's totally okay. I'm ftm trans and still debate myself on wether or not i should medically transition, I want to but I don't? Like i know the only reason why I feel dysphoric is because the beliefs embedded into society about who and what a man is supposed to be like. I dunno, everyone is different. If you believe you'll feel more comfortable in YOUR skin than that's all that matters.

    • @solace6984
      @solace6984 6 років тому +12

      I'm assuming youve worn a binder and have felt like it fit (if not, try binders out!!) so maybe just get a reduction first if thats an option

    • @lukegarcia3059
      @lukegarcia3059 6 років тому +29

      Plenty of non bianary people get top surgery! If it's what you want, then do it!

    • @idkman2633
      @idkman2633 6 років тому +9

      Yeah no worries fam. Boobs are overrated. I hate boobs too. I’ll get rid of them if loosing some weight doesn’t help. xx

    • @aliasanew3398
      @aliasanew3398 5 років тому

      SAMEEEEEEE

  • @shockergirls25
    @shockergirls25 6 років тому +89

    When I figured out I'm trans it felt right, I would look in the mirror and my reflection finally felt real, like it was me for once. Then I think about transitioning socially (which is terrifying and something only a few people can know) and I get scared shitless and it makes me was to kinda just stop and never transition.
    When I get like that tho I either just think how badly I want and how great I feel when I think of myself with a low voice and a flat chest and a dick and I'm just like, really reassured like "well shit yeah i really am trans"
    Thanks for this video!!!!! It's really reassuring

    • @Vendicia
      @Vendicia 6 років тому +5

      Dane You have to know you want to transition for YOU and no one else. You can't worry what family and friends will think or how they will react. You will need to come to terms with the inevitable truth that you may lose friends, you may be cast aside or disregarded by some family... These people do not understand or weren't brought up to accept people no matter what physical form you take. Once you can overcome that, the next step is to overcome the teasing and comments. Strangers may say things. Jerks may joke on you or even give you a hard time. These folks are immature or, again, uninformed. Do not be mad at these people... It isn't their fault that they are close minded. You do YOU and all the bad will melt away.

  • @marikethan6411
    @marikethan6411 6 років тому +224

    Thank you for this video! I am a german Trans male.
    Since 3 years I know I'm Transgender.
    My parents did not understand first.
    I went a year ago to a therapy
    I thought It doesn't help.
    But now I know it helps very much and now, now I'm allowed to tell my class that I'm Trans and my sister tries to call me by my boy name.
    On Thursday I'm gonna tell my new teacher (I'm in a new/next school)
    I'm sooo nervous about that because I know my class and my teacher since that week...not so long...

    • @kcstalder9012
      @kcstalder9012 6 років тому +1

      Servus! Komme auch aus Deutschland und hatte n ähnliches Problem. Weiss es seit ca. 2 Jahren und bin seit 1,5 bei einem Psych... werd hoffentlich noch dieses Jahr mit T anfangen. Wird nur etwas schwierig auf der Arbeir und (da ich mein Abi nachhole) auch noch in der Schule. Ich hab absolut keine Ahnung wie ich das ganze machen soll. Hahaha.

    • @jasperony793
      @jasperony793 6 років тому +1

      lobo delsol heyo from Germany too! Do have a teacher you can trust? Maybe they could do it for you if you yourself don't want to tell anybody? I experienced that the teachers really don't seem to care a lot you just have to tell them. 👌🏼my teachers are really chill and hopefully yours will be too! 😊

    • @tpforlife9122
      @tpforlife9122 5 років тому

      Kann man von den großen Binder marken/ Firmen auch nach Deutschland bestellen?? Hat da jemand Erfahrung?

    • @Nico-pw3mr
      @Nico-pw3mr 5 років тому

      Dumbledores Army klar, habe von gc2b auch nach deutschland bestellt :) Kosten sind abhängig wie schnell du ihn haben willst aber die versandkosten sind natürlich höher

    • @marufubi
      @marufubi 5 років тому

      Hi! I hope everything is well! You are so very brave! 💓💓💓💘💘💘💘

  • @skylerlynn8121
    @skylerlynn8121 5 років тому +57

    Thanks for the advice. I'm struggling with a lot in my head at moment.

    • @elijahstorm8515
      @elijahstorm8515 5 років тому +5

      Skyler Lynn Me too 😞

    • @fertotti
      @fertotti 3 роки тому

      struggling as well.. Hope thing are better for you now (a year later)

    • @lynnashton1926
      @lynnashton1926 3 роки тому

      Check out Pique Resilience Project

  • @siren_named_pluto1015
    @siren_named_pluto1015 6 років тому +155

    I identified as genderfluid for a while and slowly realized "Hey, ummm I'm more comfortable and confident as a man" and really as I thought about it had noticed I wasn't exactly ummm comfortable with my girlish body and whatnot ( however I know how it sounds written down I am just reeeeeaaalllly bad at explaining things) anyways, I identify as trans now but have small problems with that as I'm not sure if it's okay for me to like being pretty on occasion or wear makeup even though I see plenty of dudes like that. I also have slight issues with the fact that I look like a 13 year old boy half the time when I'm 19.... due to my small figure and facial features. I've also noticed that ever since I've changed my labels and name around my friends I am a lot more confident and happy? And even my dysphoria isn't AS bad as it was. I'm trying not to rush things as I realize I'm young and have plenty of time. I'm also still in the closet with most people... so I try not to let my old name and pronouns bother me. And it usually works that I can ignore it

    • @courtjester6375
      @courtjester6375 5 років тому +16

      Same but I'm 13 and I came out like a month or so ago, everyone is pretty accepting except for my grandmother. I use to identify as gender fluid but I realized that in fact, I'm a boy and feel more comfortable as a boy. I recently got my hair cut and I love it so much that it nearly brought me to tears, I was so happy, but sometimes I accidentally cross my legs and stuff since I'm not use to boy posture and sometimes I think about jokingly wearing dresses but I get nervous about it since I think it'll make people say "YOU AREN'T A GUY!! *FAKER* " and I just get so scared. Also, I hate how even tho I cut my hair and did all these things that I still look like a girl, I keep feeling bad about it cuz I see all these trans guys who look like actual guys even with a simple haircut while I don't.

    • @alwaysdreaming1271
      @alwaysdreaming1271 4 роки тому +5

      Government Spy you are who you are and I’m really sorry that you don’t feel comfortable wearing dresses because of those comments. I’m struggling a lot too with everything honestly but I haven’t come out yet that’s really brave of you. But it’s going to be okay. I think a lot of trans people do the gender fluid or nonbinary thing first and then realize they might actually just be the other gender. That’s what I did and it really helped. I switched from she/her pronouns to she/her/they/them to any pronouns to they/them/he/him to just he/him and it’s great. It’s a long process but I know we’ll all get through this

    • @mayaavabennett3090
      @mayaavabennett3090 3 роки тому

      i'm exactly the same. but i'm 15

    • @mayaavabennett3090
      @mayaavabennett3090 3 роки тому +2

      @@courtjester6375 testosterone helps with you not looking like a girl, though it's a HUGE step. maybe try wearing like darker makeup in some places on your face because boy facial structure is a lot different. study pictures of guys. promise you'll get there

    • @kapikap5376
      @kapikap5376 3 роки тому +2

      You can still be a trans man and feel pretty, wear makeup, and dresses. Makeup and clothing shouldn’t have an assigned gender, it’s just a piece of clothing. Do what makes you happy :>

  • @alisar6378
    @alisar6378 6 років тому +98

    Thanks ! I'm actually mtf and started transitioning at the age of 17! Love your videos keep it up !

    • @ering1013
      @ering1013 5 років тому +2

      Ohmygod ur profile pic is so pretty! Is that u?

    • @kierstenmayer7636
      @kierstenmayer7636 4 роки тому

      Alisa R proud of you fam! Keep being you! ❤️Percy

  • @avclayton5
    @avclayton5 6 років тому +245

    My primary fear is that, at 31, my window of opportunity has passed. It just doesn't seem feasible anymore, socially or biologically.

    • @traceLostAndFound
      @traceLostAndFound 6 років тому +108

      I'm almost 33 and I'm only a year and four months on T, it's completely possible if it's what you really want ✌️💙

    • @adambftm5058
      @adambftm5058 6 років тому +97

      I'm 42 and started T last month. I only came out publicly last Dec! So it's NEVER too late 😁

    • @oh_cole
      @oh_cole 6 років тому +53

      It's never too late to do something that you feel will improve your quality of life. I had to work through that same fear and ended up starting T the day after turning 33. I've spoken to folks who didn't start until their 50s! Ultimately you'll make the decision that is best for you when it is best for you, but just know it is never too late! Good luck on your journey, my friend!

    • @sandraallsopp1234
      @sandraallsopp1234 6 років тому +39

      I'm 47 at the end of the month and starting T!

    • @dykealicious23
      @dykealicious23 6 років тому +36

      I'm 32 I started t at 30 it's never to late to be yourself

  • @Amoebatirith
    @Amoebatirith 6 років тому +45

    Mine seemed like such a sudden rushed thing because I spent years contemplating by myself. I didn't involve anyone because I thought I couldn't tell anyone until I was sure. I also lived in a space that was questionable on how friendly people could be. I knew my parents didn't agree with trans rights so I was planning to live in secret. But eventually I broke down in my shower one day as I realised I'd rather die than keep living as the gender I was put as for birth. I started therapy and after 7 months of therapy I came out to my parents and 2 months after that was starting hormone therapy. 4 months after starting hormone therapy, I legally changed my name. It seems fast especially since it's only been 1 year and 3 months since I started therapy, but I've never been happier. I'm not disagreeing with your take on "time is needed" as I agree. Just more to give a story that you can explore still even if you don't have friends or family that you feel comfortable exploring with.

    • @theharshtruthoutthere
      @theharshtruthoutthere 4 місяці тому

      Being "trans" is a lie from masons, search about them, be not deceived by them.
      none are "trans", all are victims of masonry depopulation agenda.

  • @c.u.2035
    @c.u.2035 6 років тому +72

    I'm currently 24, suffer from major depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia so my issue is putting myself OUT THERE to get what I need. I've known for several years that I am trans, but leaving the house or making those important phone calls are a huge challenge. I'm always feeling like I'm wasting my life the way I am. getting on T seems like the first step to STARTING my life. anyway, I don't mean to toss out my life story here or rant lmao but I just wanna say, I've been following u since I started questioning my gender and you've certainly helped me over the years come to terms with certain things. I appreciate u so much, aydian. thank you!

    • @chrisjanisch4692
      @chrisjanisch4692 6 років тому

      c. upton omg ur cat looks like my cat aspend but he cross eyed

  • @celestemarie1045
    @celestemarie1045 5 років тому +28

    I've been currently exploring my gender and its been so confusing and scary. For awhile I haven't been feeling very confident in general. I remember looking at clothes for females and not feeling very good about them. The thought of wearing them made me uncomfortable in almost a dysphoric sense. My girlfriend picked up on this fear of femininity. I always brushed it off and it was already so hard to come out as gay to my Christian family, i cant imagine coming out as trans. But I've been noticing little behaviors I have such as my dysphoria about my big breasts and how much better i feel with a sports bra that at least hides them a bit. My hips are always concerning me. The idea of femininity makes me uncomfortable and my feminine features cause me lots of distress. I embrace when my voice is a bit deeper as well. Lately I've been browsing the men's section clothes on websites and it feels right to me. Im going shopping next week to see how I feel but I hope to understand more and more each day because its been troubling me for a very long time and the more I look back, the more I realize how much I wanted to live as a man even as a young teenager.

  • @shehran6936
    @shehran6936 5 років тому +48

    Does testosterone change the jawline?
    My friend is trans mtf and now UA-cam keeps suggesting these videos :). I feel like Google might be listening to my phone calls

    • @goldentoad287
      @goldentoad287 3 роки тому +5

      It doesn't change the bone structure but it redistributes the fat so it changes your facial shape a bit
      Edit: damn my phone thought "vibe structure" was so much more fitting than "bone structure". It's stupid.

  • @xxme5719
    @xxme5719 5 років тому +7

    My dad recently came out as trans and I’ve always wanted to be a guy, but my family absolutely hated the idea of my dad doing that and they’re very religious. I’m terrified to explore that part of me. One year, for Halloween, I dressed up like a man and changed my name temporarily and I liked it. I felt free, I just don’t know how to gain the courage to explore that side of me.

  • @hatsumiyo6915
    @hatsumiyo6915 6 років тому +14

    I'm at that stage where im nearing 25, and questioning if it's worth it to lose all my loved ones over this. At first it was just my parents (and job) but now its also the man i love.

  • @StephSmallville1
    @StephSmallville1 6 років тому +76

    Everyone is different, so my thoughts on this may be different to someone else;
    I think if you have an online presence pretending to be a guy and asking people to call you 'he/him', whilst hating to wear dresses or acting feminine, loving short hair and think of yourself in a masculine way, then theres a strong possibility you're trans ftm.

    • @assassinscreedreallifepran1080
      @assassinscreedreallifepran1080 5 років тому +9

      I always say I'm a guy online X3
      And yes, I'm ftm, but ore-transitioned

    • @abigail5728
      @abigail5728 4 роки тому +11

      You just described me and yet I'm still questioning myself hardcore.
      I have this thought that really screws with me. What if I only want to be a boy because of the abuse I've gone through?
      If that's the case, it's not like I'm going to get surgery or go on T or anything right now so might as well do what makes me happy now and if that changes in the future, then that's okay. Got plenty of time to explore what I want.

    • @abigail5728
      @abigail5728 4 роки тому +1

      Right?

    • @yams.420
      @yams.420 4 роки тому +1

      Kai Alive you kinda described me but I like kind of revealing clothes at the same time?I like skirts but not dresses yet when I see guys with their short hair wearing their clothes I get all jealous

    • @crazycookie294
      @crazycookie294 4 роки тому +3

      you literally just described me.for some reason i feel like im faking it. i have no idea why i would be because my family is transphobic. i dont know, im pretty sure im trans but i feel like i wont really ever know until i move out in 4 years

  • @heyitssjace
    @heyitssjace 6 років тому +453

    "There's no need to rush."
    One answer: Trump.

    • @detojshler5701
      @detojshler5701 6 років тому +10

      heyitssjace twenty one pilots everywhere

    • @tpclique5236
      @tpclique5236 6 років тому +6

      øde to jøshler looool

    • @rosewood3pw844
      @rosewood3pw844 5 років тому +6

      Oh gosh, I think you just predicted the future

    • @benjaminspencer5704
      @benjaminspencer5704 5 років тому

      First guy for a thumbs down..have a nice day..only people who stick needles In them selves are diabetic or drug addicts.. so fuck you all.

    • @deathstartswithyou4534
      @deathstartswithyou4534 5 років тому +20

      @@benjaminspencer5704 you should really educate yourself

  • @odin-aries
    @odin-aries 4 роки тому +6

    I've been experimenting since i entered highschool and figured it out this year as a junior. Im trans ftm and the one thing thats remotely girly i feel comfy wearing is a hair bow. YOU CAN FEEL LIKE WHICHEVER AND LIKE TO WEAR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU LIKE TO WEAR! DONT LET THE HATERS BRING YOU DOWN! SHOW THEM WHO YOU ARE!!! AND HAVE A NICE DAY YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMAN YOU!

  • @thedukeofweasels6870
    @thedukeofweasels6870 6 років тому +32

    Also one tip that really helped me is doing some internal exploration of your gender identity. Imagine yourself in the future or situations you've never been in and really be in tune to the version of you that your mind automatically creates instinctually and how that version of you feels. you might find that it feels like it's leaning to a specific gender and that might be a clue to where you should start. Imagine yourself as an old person do you see yourself successfully growing old in your current gender or is it kind of a blank slate is it easier to picture yourself growing old as a different gender? even if you don't want kids imagine yourself as a parent do you want to be a mother or a father or some other parental unit. which one just happens right away when you think or feels more natural.
    Used to think I was just an extreme tomboy, I never thought the version of myself as a guy in my head that I kept seeing and feeling was anything more than a weird day dream because I'm a masculine person. I thought it was just some sort of escape because my life wasn't that great at the time. but now I'm actually getting to be that strong confident badass man I always dreamed of and it's absolutely amazing!

  • @heyitssjace
    @heyitssjace 6 років тому +49

    I've already been on hrt for 6 months into my transition + I stand firm in my identity, but I still watched to hear what you had to say.

  • @twzoomies
    @twzoomies 6 років тому +31

    I cycled through some different gender expressions and labels in my teens. I used to describe myself as genderqueer (later nonbinary) genderfluid. It wasn't until moving out of my house for university and more fully realizing my own perception of self beyond that of my home area and family. That's when I came more firmly into myself as a nonbinary trans man - where I had the space to do so in the fall term at my uni's lbgtq center and then just before the winter term in residence. I put off hrt until my second year (because of family acceptance issues and some preparing myself for change - which was needed but still intimidating). It's a unique process coming to a good understanding and acceptance of one's gender. The suggestions you give are definitley good for anyone questioning gender! We all take different paths at different paces!

  • @fredhasopinions
    @fredhasopinions 2 роки тому +2

    “There’s no rush” I appreciate you saying this, I’ve gone back and forth on this topic for the past ten years. Every time I’ve comfortably talked myself into being cis, something happens and I fall down the rabbit hole again. I may get there this year. I may get there next year. I may never get there. We’ll see.

  • @jaimeaurelia3309
    @jaimeaurelia3309 4 роки тому +5

    These are great tips! I pretty much did everything you're mentioning and 9 months later I know I'm ready to start transitioning. The not rushing is so hard, but so important.

  • @Xoinkxoink
    @Xoinkxoink 4 роки тому +6

    The title sounds as if it's one of Captain America's PSA's. I live for it.

  • @fgfgfg4
    @fgfgfg4 6 років тому +52

    You're such an inspiration

  • @articflame7997
    @articflame7997 6 років тому +12

    What a handsome man

  • @fagitocumaeda
    @fagitocumaeda 3 роки тому +5

    I didn’t think i was trans or anything at all until 14 (i still am) when all these feelings started coming up on me and i was like... “i really do not want to be a girl, it doesnt not feel right to me at all and it makes me unhappy :[”

  • @ferretterrier7828
    @ferretterrier7828 6 років тому +44

    I'm rushing to hormone therapy.
    5 more years to go
    Or is it 7...?

    • @heyitssjace
      @heyitssjace 6 років тому

      ferretterrier how old are you + are your parents supportive?

    • @ferretterrier7828
      @ferretterrier7828 6 років тому

      why

    • @heyitssjace
      @heyitssjace 6 років тому +1

      If you're a minor and your parents are supportive, they can sign for you to see a gender therapist and give them the okay that you can start hrt. If you're not yet a teen, you can go on hormone blockers, but they'd have to be approved by your parents as well.

    • @ferretterrier7828
      @ferretterrier7828 6 років тому +4

      My mother is supportive but I don't think she wants to put me on any hormones because she is afraid of the health affects, although I may be wrong but I call bullshit on that because she was willing to put me on growth hormones but not puberty blockers. As for my father, he doesn't know yet but here's some things he's said. I'm going to have no friends because I dress like a boy, I absolutely need to go back to gymnastics because I love it oh so very much, and he won't stop about me cutting my hair although I did it like 8 months ago. I'm luckily one of the youngest in my grade, when I graduate I'll turn 18 like the day after.

    • @heyitssjace
      @heyitssjace 6 років тому +2

      Even though you're trans, there are plenty of girls that dress like guys. There are guys that dress like girls. There are guys with long hair. There are girls with short hair. There are androgynous folks. It's whatever. It's hair. It'll grow back. Your hair is on your body. Your body, your choice.
      I don't really know the effects of growth hormones or the harmful effects of puberty blockers, but for testosterone, it can mess with your liver... And other things, depending on your family's medical history.

  • @RedDemonReacts
    @RedDemonReacts 6 років тому +15

    this is great. i am glad someone came out with a video like this. Your amazing!

  • @eliap620
    @eliap620 6 років тому +4

    Great video bro. This is good for all the people that recently found out that maybe they fit this category.

  • @maximumraccoonage3240
    @maximumraccoonage3240 5 років тому +7

    I guess I'll ask here since I don't feel comfortable asking anywhere else:
    I don't feel uncomfortable in my body per-se, but I envy pretty much everything about a guy. I'm not really girly (I don't like make-up and I don't MIND girly clothes, but I guess I'll wear them), but some of the music and just things I do are (like running outside and having plushes). It's not like I wake up each day and hate myself because I'm a girl. My brain keeps going back and forth like a tug of war between "I'm fine being a girl," and "I wish I was a guy. I envy guys and want to be one." It hurts me to be this confused. Everything is so complicated and I just want to figure out what will make me happier. What should I do?

    • @gamzee3610
      @gamzee3610 4 роки тому

      Sadly you are right when you say everything is complicated, and I can't tell you exactly what your gender is, that is your job, but it sounds like you are experiencing "gender encongruence" which is when you feel disconnected from the gender you were assigned to at birth, even if you don't fully resent existing as said gender, and that typically is a sign of being transgender, my advice (this will sound silly but it's always worth trying out) for if your still struggling, but you don't want to come out to you friends/family, is getting a bunch of free dating sims where you can pick pronouns and names, and just try different pronouns, and try to think how being called those different names and pronouns feel to you.

    • @samellis-student2824
      @samellis-student2824 11 місяців тому

      My advice is to take one step at a time.

  • @jmlpatterson4995
    @jmlpatterson4995 6 років тому +2

    I've been struggling for the last 17 years about my identity. And I gotta say, this video really made me feel so much better. I am a 22yr old ftm, and only just came out a couple days ago. I'm still nervous about a few things, but you definitely put my concerns at ease. Thanks so much man!
    Also, I would like to introduce myself. Mathew L. Drake. But you can call me Matt. It's a pleasure to meet you.

  • @jamesvanlienden2613
    @jamesvanlienden2613 6 років тому +1

    Thank you for making this video! This is exactly what I have been needing, especially lately. I have felt this pressure since these thoughts started to come through more and be more persistent in my daily life. It feels like I need to go and go as fast as I could without stopping until I got to the end. This is the reminder I needed to slow down and take in the journey.

  • @BeYourOwnWeird92
    @BeYourOwnWeird92 6 років тому

    I really needed to hear some of the points that you made in this video. Like "There's no need to rush..." Thank you Aydian! I needed this. Been watching you for years now. Keep up the fantastic work!

  • @user-cw5co2td7l
    @user-cw5co2td7l 5 років тому +4

    Just want to say thank you!!!
    "There is no need to rush" this remain me to stay claim and don't be too frustrate if I can't start hormone right now.

  • @KirschblutenTsunami
    @KirschblutenTsunami 6 років тому

    Thank you so much! Listening to you saying explore makes me feel so good... I'm actually crying right now. Thank you so much for you kind words and advices!!!

  • @Im_just_M
    @Im_just_M 6 років тому +2

    This video has really helped, it's just what I needed right now, so thank you for you words of wisdom x

  • @brenme35
    @brenme35 5 років тому +13

    I love your cat so cute I feel like I'm trans but I can't really afford to transition

  • @lichayeah1861
    @lichayeah1861 6 років тому +2

    Thanks for this video!
    You are a big inspiration to me since im at a really confusing time in my life and your videos had helped me a lot !

  • @gingermonkey83
    @gingermonkey83 6 років тому +14

    You are a great role model for the community - thanks for being so public and supportive. I have a question; I'm just about to start my transition and wondering for down the road, if you run into old acquaintances, who didn't know you were trans and if they realize you are the girl they knew many years ago, how have you handled that? Anyone have any advice.
    I have this lingering feeling that my brother's wedding or Dad's funeral is going to be incredibly awkward and I'd just rather that those days remain about them.

  • @1000Animation
    @1000Animation 6 років тому +1

    Thank you so much! I really needed a video like this!

  • @wassupitsyaboi3680
    @wassupitsyaboi3680 5 років тому +3

    Ok I loved this tip because it helped me to reaffirm my feelings that I'm trans. I've been questioning and exploring for two years and male pronouns definitely just feel so much better. So it just makes me so happy that I can feel like I have confirmation about my feelings. So thank you

  • @karleek.2053
    @karleek.2053 6 років тому

    You are such an amazing and old soul. Sending you positive vibes and continue helping and shaping people questioning. :*

  • @tristanmiller9571
    @tristanmiller9571 6 років тому +1

    The best decision I made was to take my time.
    When I came out as Trans I spent an entire year researching.
    After 1 year I started T, another year later and I'm about to have a hysterectomy, next year I'll have top surgery.....
    Part of me wishes I could rush it and be done with it, but another part of me loves taking my time and being fully ready for each step.

  • @sonnyajvoll5865
    @sonnyajvoll5865 6 років тому +6

    "How you feel is how you are" is a beautifully succinct way to put things.

  • @k_system2308
    @k_system2308 5 років тому

    Thank you so much for making this video! It tremendously helped me and it was very different advice from what I usually see and it was the best by far.

  • @nosir169
    @nosir169 4 роки тому

    I've been questioning for a few months now, thanks for the video :)

  • @aarensweenor9749
    @aarensweenor9749 6 років тому

    You're so good and important thank you for improving my week 💙

  • @racheltremaine8663
    @racheltremaine8663 6 років тому +4

    Thank you so much I found this so helpful I have been so confused lately about me gender identity

  • @bjorn4215
    @bjorn4215 4 роки тому +10

    I've been having trouble with my gender a lot lately.
    I like they/them and he/him pronouns but I hate she/her.
    The odd thing is that I still like a feminine clothing sometimes. I like to wear skirts or dress shirts some times and it's really bothering me. Currently I do identify as trans and demifluid, I'm not sure if it's right though.

    • @ilovejesus112
      @ilovejesus112 4 роки тому +1

      I do the same, i only wear female clothes cus that all i have in my closet

    • @lynnashton1926
      @lynnashton1926 3 роки тому

      Check out Pique Resilience Project

  • @lollietacooliva
    @lollietacooliva 6 років тому +1

    Today i came out to my mother as a trans male and she was so accepting, i've been watching transition videos and i came across yours. I thought it was funny because my last name is Dowling as well and i've never met another Dowling who isn't in my family so to think i just found a trans one is pretty cool

  • @deadnamedan6726
    @deadnamedan6726 6 років тому

    I needed this. I made the decision to transition. I seriously need it. The video was very helpful

  • @singasong785
    @singasong785 3 роки тому

    Needed this video, thanks!

  • @nyelawleit11
    @nyelawleit11 6 років тому +8

    I like your smile it's so kind (if that makes sense)

  • @redbloodragon
    @redbloodragon 6 років тому +1

    I'm 39 years old an I've known most of my adult life that was trans ( mtm ) I've always dressed very masculine seen I was 5, it hard cuz I want change my name at work an some of my co- worker know, but I'm so sceard that my customers won't understand or won't like it, so been stopping me alil but if don't have my name tag on I get called sir an I love it! I feel like specially right now our Society is full of hate, an hard to want to go on with what I want in my life. An thing that is funny to me is I am a person who doesn't care what ppl think an know I'm sceard all of the sudden, I just want to finally be happy with myself!! To look in the mirror an feel whole. Thank for all your videos they really help, some days more then others it cool not to feel alone man! Specially in this day an age!

  • @Torteah
    @Torteah 6 років тому +9

    Can I do it online because on the games I play their like chatrooms and you can make you avatar male or female, plus I don't feel comfortable experimenting around my parents or siblings and I share a room with my little sister. So would that help me?

    • @Vendicia
      @Vendicia 6 років тому +1

      Painted Roses Of course it would. If you are cis male for example, make a female avatar and try to act and speak feminine in your game. Think about how it feels for you and think about how it feels when other players treat you as female. Does it feel good/right? Then go from there. :)

    • @Torteah
      @Torteah 6 років тому

      Vendicia okay thank you.

  • @gtshadowwolf2710
    @gtshadowwolf2710 2 роки тому

    I am an afab trans mask enby, my brain has never really fit my body, when I sleep in my dreams I either have a masculine body or an androgynous one. It’s been about five years since I came out to myself and about a few months since I came out to my parents, and next week I have an appointment to go on testosterone. I only just felt like the person in the mirror was myself for the first time half a year ago when I cut my hair off, i had only ever cried tears of pain and hatred of myself if I looked at myself for too long before that day, but when I saw myself from the neck down I was so happy that I cried tears of joy, because I finally saw the true me.

  • @TressaZimmerman
    @TressaZimmerman 5 років тому +2

    Thanks so much. I will be going to a pay Dr on Fri about my feelings of transgender issues.

  • @DisturbedsAsylum666
    @DisturbedsAsylum666 6 років тому +1

    That's kinda what I'm doing now. I chose a name and I'm having my gf and her family call me by that for now, and when I'm able I go out dressed masculinely, (I live in a veeeery conservative household and town), and it feels...right. It's taking some time to get used to calling myself by masculine pronouns but to hear other people use them is great.

  • @maybeshawn210
    @maybeshawn210 3 роки тому +2

    My binder is supposed to arrive tomorrow!

  • @eason9399
    @eason9399 4 роки тому

    Among all the videos of this topic yours is the best

  • @abracadabra2395
    @abracadabra2395 4 роки тому

    This is the exact journey I've been on! I would add that, beyond just expression and pronouns, I've also explored body stuff. Trying a binder, using FaceApp to look like I have a beard, etc. I haven't tried a packer yet, but all of these things can help us have an idea of how we feel with our body parts. I'm pretty gender-fluid and non-binary. So, this has been a mess trying to sort out over the years, but I'm starting to enjoy the mess rather than be frustrated by it. I have a top surgery consult in February (yay!) and I'm going to explore whether mastectomy or just a reduction would be better for me. I'm not going to make the decision that day. I'm not going to schedule a surgery date. I just want to talk to a surgeon who can give me the facts. Taking it slow is the way to go! (At least for me, that is.)

  • @arourtutor8833
    @arourtutor8833 6 років тому +17

    Hi, my middle name is Lucky! I heard you say your cat's name. I thought it was cool.

  • @agosesco7134
    @agosesco7134 6 років тому +18

    Taking my time on my ride hoo ho ho hoo

  • @jamessacks5567
    @jamessacks5567 Рік тому

    I watched this video when I was 13 and questioning if I really was trans, now I'm 17 and 4 months on T. Though I waited such a long time I'm glad I took that time to think about how I wanted to transition and what would make me the happiest. Wish the best of luck to anyone who goes though the same

  • @dinotoothbrush1796
    @dinotoothbrush1796 Рік тому

    I know im too late but i really have the need to say, thank you, i really needed this video, today i had a bit of an argue with my mother about my gender identity, and i was really just confused, i dont feel male nor female, i feel both, and this video helped me to think more about myself and my feelings, so thank you, and have a very nice day.😊

  • @Red-km5zu
    @Red-km5zu 6 років тому

    Thanks, this was really useful!

  • @haikuhaikyuu8124
    @haikuhaikyuu8124 3 роки тому +1

    I’ve only recently began questioning my identity. I’ve always felt my hair (even at it’s shoulder length now) is just a bother, and I’ve always wanted to experiment with a short haircut, but my parents don’t let me. I’ve disliked my voice for a long time, even if I don’t think about it 24/7 but whenever I do I feel it’s too high and childish, especially in videos (even though it is more average than high). I’ve always disliked my name, and I usually say it’s because it’s a common name, but I don’t know now if it may be something else. I always feel like people are looking at me, and I am always self conscious of myself and how others see me, though I’m not particularly unhappy with my body, I don’t have body dysmorphia or anything. I’ve also hated more female swin suits-especially 2-piece ones. But all of these things still seem like they could be simple insecurities. I’m still not sure, and I’ve only just started questioning myself. I don’t think I can get a gender therapist to try and help distinguish if this is low self esteem or dysphoria because I’m underage, and my parents don’t know I’m questioning. I’ve asked others and they recommend gender therapy, but I’m looking for more opinions to try and help myself figure this out. Thoughts? (Sorry for the long comment)

  • @mnst3r967
    @mnst3r967 2 роки тому +2

    I really like using he/they pronouns and I'm my parents will probably NEVER accept my real self, but I'm worried something will happen if I take testosterone and if I get the surgeries and something happens that could change my life for a worse state but at the same time I'm insanely wanting to considered as passing as a sort of guy/androgynous being , but then ik that trans people like myself can be killed , Im only a teenager I do have lots of time of course but as soon as I can I'm gonna move out and this will be soon I'm it will ( but on the other note this felt very helpful god knows I need this kind of positivity around )

  • @ash9121
    @ash9121 3 роки тому +2

    I was in self denial for so long. I know I’m trans and I’m out to people and my dad ended up leaving me because of it but it’s better off that way

  • @elopaq885
    @elopaq885 4 роки тому

    such a good video , thanks

  • @nathanr5737
    @nathanr5737 3 роки тому +2

    I’m still absolutely fucking confused but I rly appreciate u trying dude

  • @nn8322
    @nn8322 6 років тому

    amazing video. thank you

  • @jesseberry7521
    @jesseberry7521 4 роки тому +1

    Just cutting my hair masculine made me happy but i keep seeing these boulders on my shoulder and i keep just crying because theyre there

  • @Glenduhhhh
    @Glenduhhhh 6 років тому

    I love this video so much

  • @ranzmelchor5961
    @ranzmelchor5961 3 роки тому

    I really really want to change my self too😥 it's just came out this way. I am much comfortable of being like this. Than acting a person I am not

  • @Wolvora
    @Wolvora 4 роки тому +3

    I’m very confused. I think I am trans, but I keep seeing all of these detransition videos saying that teens can’t know their identity and that I will regret transitioning. I really want to transition but I have weird doubts.

  • @katelinbryant4847
    @katelinbryant4847 6 років тому +20

    Aww u cat so cute

  • @bronntide
    @bronntide 4 роки тому

    At age seven, I thought I was one of the boys. Instead of being able to experience things, the feminine role of a woman was immediately pressured onto me.
    Up until fifteen, I had been brainwashed and manipulated and abused into believing that girls were only for birthing kids, cleaning, and cooking. Skirts and dresses were all I could wear, which wasn't what I wanted.
    At seventeen, I'm still in a toxic conservative Christian family, but they allowed me to cut my hair, and wear pants. After crying myself to sleep, wondering why I was this way, I finally figured out that this is just who I am. I'm not a girl, I was always a boy, even if the dresses and skirts I wear say otherwise.
    It isn't what you wear on the outside... Clothes, Body, Voice.. It's you on the inside. You are who you are, you can love you want to love. Stay safe everyone, and stay inside.

  • @memesaremylife5680
    @memesaremylife5680 6 років тому +4

    Please I am male, 11 yo (I know I am young). I am scared everyone will hate me for being trans, I see myself as female. Will I get hated, bullied or will my family hate me.. I am desperate and need help! ⚥

    • @warriorjason2763
      @warriorjason2763 6 років тому +1

      If I I'm also 11 So I guess we just hang in here

  • @alexblake4202
    @alexblake4202 5 років тому

    Thank you.

  • @danorivera3545
    @danorivera3545 3 роки тому

    Muy buen video excelente saludos de mexico!!!

  • @xdashlydia
    @xdashlydia 6 років тому

    Thanks Aydian! Good advice as always, plus further proof that Real Men Love Cats.

  • @victoriamatlock5876
    @victoriamatlock5876 6 років тому

    Thank you so much

  • @overhoot
    @overhoot 6 років тому +4

    Sweet cat.

  • @julianazevedo1586
    @julianazevedo1586 6 років тому +2

    Aydian!! Once again you've made my day! Thank you so much!
    I could really benefit from this considering I have a bunch of friends who want to transition.

  • @nataliemoreno9182
    @nataliemoreno9182 4 роки тому

    I’ve been asking my friends to call me Carter instead of my actual name, along with wearing binders/baggy clothes. I genuinely feel amazing when i’m more masculine, but i’m scared to venture further considering I sometimes like being feminine. Not all the time, but once in a blue moon.

  • @beepbeepeddie8010
    @beepbeepeddie8010 6 років тому

    Omg I just came from the coming out 2009 video and WOAH

  • @lefthandersrule9419
    @lefthandersrule9419 5 років тому

    Okay, so if anyone would like to read what I have to say and maybe give me some advice that would be amazing, but if you don't then feel free to scroll past.
    So right now I'm female, I guess. I have a female body, I'm 5'1" and 167lb (I know I'm overweight, I'm working on it). Ever since I was little though, I always wanted to be a boy, I'd try to pee standing up, never wear shirts, and love spending time with boys. I had a very rough childhood, mostly neglect and I had to overcome depression and I still struggle with anxiety. I started living with my dad, who isn't too friendly with the LGBTQ+ community. I pushed all my thoughts about being a boy away and kept them locked up for years. I hated my reflection and thought I was ugly.
    But at the age of 16 the thoughts returned, stronger this time. Maybe because I was in an abusive relationship at the time or maybe I was super stressed, but all I could think about was being a boy. I'm 18 now and soon I'll be moving out, but the thoughts won't leave. I get dysphoria off and on, sometimes I have it strongly, other times not so much. Just two days ago I was sitting in class, and I looked down seeing how far out my chest goes out and I felt like crying right there. My dysphoria is back and I really want to be a man, but I'm scared.
    I'm scared of how my family, friends, strangers and society will feel about it, if I'm actually not trans and its all in my head, if I'll offend trans people, or if I do transition and regret it later in life. Or how hard it will be to transition. I don't know, but thinking about all of it makes me want to die. I wish I could've been born a male, it would've been so much easier. My school counselor said to wait a few years before doing anything serious, and I think I'll listen, but I've already bought a binder, and it makes me feel so much better, but then I realize I'm not what I want to be, a boy.
    Thanks for reading, if you have advice or a personal story I'd love to hear it. If you're gonna say something transphobic, I cant stop you, but please don't. I can guarantee I've already insulted myself enough.

  • @pierre9432
    @pierre9432 4 роки тому

    holy shit this is actually helpful ahah thanks!