Can you make a video for the affair partner who entered into the affair being single and broken hearted after the end of the affair. It’ll be helpful for the ones who are not married and single.
This was very helpful though.. helped me understand how she felt. I didn’t want to hurt her It just felt right to go with it and I didn’t understand it’s not a real or healthy relationship we had. I guess it was selfish of me and her to know she had a boyfriend and still made moves to advance etc. I justified it by saying things like “she’s the one in a relationship”. I always had positive intent when with her and the reason I wouldn’t commit to her when she brought up exclusivity is because she was cheating on her boyfriend with me and I thought why would i put myself in his position. My mom was manipulative and deceiving and that might be part of the reason I felt attracted. She reminded me of my ex too
Right on, Adam. Just checking, but what is your biggest frustration, post-affair? Mine is the lack of (the ability to feel) any remorse, on the part of my wife. It's as though there was a chemical change, not only around her affairs, but it extends into current events and relationships.
You wanted a big house=got it You wanted kids=got it When you always want more, it’s a sign of being broken! (Fix the trauma) When they say “I don’t know myself “ ….they don’t want to be accountable for the events This goes under “ I don’t remember, I forgot, I was drunk, they did it not me, it only happened once, we didn’t even do anything, it really didn’t mean anything” The father figure in a child’s home. Will help correct a lot of nonsense. Lying/Betrayal= Manifestation of other issues much deeper
Sometimes when a person has childhood trauma they grow up not knowing who they are and this can play a huge part in their decision to have an affair. Its not that someone doesnt want to be accountable. Infidelity has deeper roots that fuel the behavior. That is why getting the right help is needed because we can not just tell someone to have boundaries and become accountable for their behavior and not teach them how to heal the root cause of it.
Thank you Stacy. Does your husband really love you now and are you guys truly doing better. How many years is it after your affair? How long did he take before he started to trust you. What are the things you did? can you discuss the questions he had and how you responded. My affair got emotional n physical. Please talk about how much information you tell your partner that is healthy. When your partner is graciously accepting to continue the marraige but he is asking lots and lots of details.
Hi, yes my husband does really love me and we are doing really well better than I ever thought possible. But I believe it's because God showed us how to work with him to heal our childhood wounds. It has been 11 years since the affair ended. I will make a video discussing some of the questions you asked.
You want to pick a good life coaching school and become certified as a life coach. And if it's infidelity coaching you are wanting to pursue then you want to have experienced infidelity firsthand to be able to effectively help others who struggle with an affair.
@@staceychenevert I have experienced infidelity and I would love to help others get through their experience. Can you recommend the school or the program that you used🙂
Hi Stacey! I'd like your advise in case I have 3 kids with my wife but she got pregnant of her affaire partner and we don't want to end the marriage. How shall we navigate.... should we tell the truth and keep the AP with pension and visitation or push him aside and get the kid under my name and tell the truth later on cause the AP is from a different race with a heavy gene mark. My wife talked ro him and he told her that he likes to be involved but she tells me he is surely to flake
My children were very forgiving when they found out. We have always taught them to forgive people and not hold their past against them. They know that a judgmental attitude is never what Jesus wants from us.
Why would an unfaithful wife believe that her ap knew them so well and were all they needed? For ex. They think that their ap knows them more or just as much their husband who they've been with for 9+ years.
They don't seek them out. Unmet needs causes the person to become vulnerable and if that person has unhealthy coping skills they will fall into the trap of infidelity. As it promises to fulfill those unmet needs.
@staceychenevert Grief after an affair isn’t proof of true love it’s the fallout from selfish choices and sinful behavior. Affairs often involve intense emotions fueled by secrecy, novelty, and escapism. These elements create an illusion of love that may feel deep but is often situational and lacks the foundation of commitment or reality. The end of an affair may bring grief because the person is losing an attachment, even if it was unhealthy or based on unmet needs. Affairs, also often create a high from the rush of dopamine and adrenaline. When the affair ends, the brain experiences withdrawal which also can lead to feelings of grief. The Bible distinguishes between lust and love. Love is described as selfless and committed (1 Corinthians 13:4-7), while lust is selfish and fleeting (James 1:14-15). Affairs are typically rooted in lust, not the sacrificial, God-honoring love that the Bible upholds. Grieving the loss of an affair is a sign of attachment to sin rather than true, Godly love. The negative effects you described in the video: loss of identity, emptiness, and confusion-prove there was no true love. They show the destruction sin causes. These feelings are not evidence of love, they are evidence of the enemy’s influence. It’s shocking to hear you suggest there could be true love in an affair and you view the grief as proof. Confusion like this comes directly from sin. Sin separates us from God and destroys clarity and peace. The Bible is clear: “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33) When we stray from God’s truth and justify sin, we open the door to chaos and turmoil. Satan is the master of lies, twisting truth and pulling people into spiritual blindness. Adultery causes double-mindedness, dividing the heart and leading to instability. “A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:8) Affairs lead people into spiritual darkness, where confusion and destruction thrive. “The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know over what they stumble.” (Proverbs 4:19) Affairs aren’t love. They’re lies dressed up as passion, and they leave nothing but pain behind. True love cannot come from sin. It comes from God, rooted in truth, commitment, and selflessness. Anything else is a counterfeit that only leads to confusion and regret. True healing and clarity come from repentance. Grief is an opportunity to turn away from sin and seek God's forgiveness and restoration.
When a woman is having an affair or affair fog. Everyone else is grabage. And who ever is garbadge is like less than garbage.women get into an affair fog much deeper than men my guess.
@@staceychenevert interesting. In your defense the 21 st century isnt the 20 th century and the opposite sex and men are more of a part of your life than your spouse... A spouse today is sourrrunded by the opposite sex all day long. So.... Its a different world.
The destructive effects of infidelity are not felt in the beginning but are sure to come.
You really give food for thought. Thanks for not being judgemental but just laying it out there.
Welcome
thank you Stacey im learning a lot from your videos /
God bless you
Clear message, clear structure, easy to understand, thank you
Welcome
Can you make a video for the affair partner who entered into the affair being single and broken hearted after the end of the affair. It’ll be helpful for the ones who are not married and single.
Yes
Is that Video out ?
This is important work that you are doing.
Thank you for the reminder
This was very helpful though.. helped me understand how she felt. I didn’t want to hurt her It just felt right to go with it and I didn’t understand it’s not a real or healthy relationship we had. I guess it was selfish of me and her to know she had a boyfriend and still made moves to advance etc. I justified it by saying things like “she’s the one in a relationship”. I always had positive intent when with her and the reason I wouldn’t commit to her when she brought up exclusivity is because she was cheating on her boyfriend with me and I thought why would i put myself in his position. My mom was manipulative and deceiving and that might be part of the reason I felt attracted. She reminded me of my ex too
Nobody makes videos for the person who breaks up a marriage. The one who’s not in a relationship. We need healing too
Absolutely 💯
Right on, Adam. Just checking, but what is your biggest frustration, post-affair? Mine is the lack of (the ability to feel) any remorse, on the part of my wife. It's as though there was a chemical change, not only around her affairs, but it extends into current events and relationships.
So true . I need so much healing n understanding what happened
Loss of time😮💨yesss so true
i lost my hobbies top. And the confusion is real
Absolutely
Thank you, Very informative.
Welcome 💕
You wanted a big house=got it
You wanted kids=got it
When you always want more, it’s a sign of being broken! (Fix the trauma)
When they say “I don’t know myself “ ….they don’t want to be accountable for the events
This goes under “ I don’t remember, I forgot, I was drunk, they did it not me, it only happened once, we didn’t even do anything, it really didn’t mean anything”
The father figure in a child’s home. Will help correct a lot of nonsense.
Lying/Betrayal= Manifestation of other issues much deeper
Sometimes when a person has childhood trauma they grow up not knowing who they are and this can play a huge part in their decision to have an affair. Its not that someone doesnt want to be accountable. Infidelity has deeper roots that fuel the behavior. That is why getting the right help is needed because we can not just tell someone to have boundaries and become accountable for their behavior and not teach them how to heal the root cause of it.
Thank you Stacy. Does your husband really love you now and are you guys truly doing better. How many years is it after your affair? How long did he take before he started to trust you. What are the things you did? can you discuss the questions he had and how you responded. My affair got emotional n physical. Please talk about how much information you tell your partner that is healthy. When your partner is graciously accepting to continue the marraige but he is asking lots and lots of details.
Hi, yes my husband does really love me and we are doing really well better than I ever thought possible. But I believe it's because God showed us how to work with him to heal our childhood wounds. It has been 11 years since the affair ended. I will make a video discussing some of the questions you asked.
I didn't see gold on her port since side,if she's still married he's a saint, unless he's the next in line.
How did you become an infidelity coach? I would be interested in becoming a coach. Any advice would be appreciated.
You want to pick a good life coaching school and become certified as a life coach. And if it's infidelity coaching you are wanting to pursue then you want to have experienced infidelity firsthand to be able to effectively help others who struggle with an affair.
@@staceychenevert I have experienced infidelity and I would love to help others get through their experience. Can you recommend the school or the program that you used🙂
Helpful.
Hi Stacey! I'd like your advise in case I have 3 kids with my wife but she got pregnant of her affaire partner and we don't want to end the marriage.
How shall we navigate.... should we tell the truth and keep the AP with pension and visitation or push him aside and get the kid under my name and tell the truth later on cause the AP is from a different race with a heavy gene mark. My wife talked ro him and he told her that he likes to be involved but she tells me he is surely to flake
Forgot to mention we are cristians and abortion is out of the loop
I have a question, can limerence make you question your former relationship
Yes absolutely 💯
After your affair ended how long did it take you to reconnect with your children?
My children were very forgiving when they found out. We have always taught them to forgive people and not hold their past against them. They know that a judgmental attitude is never what Jesus wants from us.
Is it okay if I email my story, because I have no one to turn too.
Yes absolutely 💯
@@staceychenevert Even if I'm a 17 year old boy
Will there be new podcast episodes?
Yes
Why would an unfaithful wife believe that her ap knew them so well and were all they needed? For ex. They think that their ap knows them more or just as much their husband who they've been with for 9+ years.
Because its a part of the deception
Why do people seek out affair partners ?
They don't seek them out. Unmet needs causes the person to become vulnerable and if that person has unhealthy coping skills they will fall into the trap of infidelity. As it promises to fulfill those unmet needs.
there is no real love in an affair.
Oh but there is real love in an affair and grief is the proof
I would say there is real love the hardest part is choosing who one wants
@staceychenevert Grief after an affair isn’t proof of true love it’s the fallout from selfish choices and sinful behavior. Affairs often involve intense emotions fueled by secrecy, novelty, and escapism. These elements create an illusion of love that may feel deep but is often situational and lacks the foundation of commitment or reality. The end of an affair may bring grief because the person is losing an attachment, even if it was unhealthy or based on unmet needs. Affairs, also often create a high from the rush of dopamine and adrenaline. When the affair ends, the brain experiences withdrawal which also can lead to feelings of grief.
The Bible distinguishes between lust and love. Love is described as selfless and committed (1 Corinthians 13:4-7), while lust is selfish and fleeting (James 1:14-15). Affairs are typically rooted in lust, not the sacrificial, God-honoring love that the Bible upholds. Grieving the loss of an affair is a sign of attachment to sin rather than true, Godly love.
The negative effects you described in the video:
loss of identity, emptiness, and confusion-prove there was no true love. They show the destruction sin causes. These feelings are not evidence of love, they are evidence of the enemy’s influence. It’s shocking to hear you suggest there could be true love in an affair and you view the grief as proof. Confusion like this comes directly from sin. Sin separates us from God and destroys clarity and peace. The Bible is clear:
“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33)
When we stray from God’s truth and justify sin, we open the door to chaos and turmoil. Satan is the master of lies, twisting truth and pulling people into spiritual blindness. Adultery causes double-mindedness, dividing the heart and leading to instability.
“A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:8)
Affairs lead people into spiritual darkness, where confusion and destruction thrive.
“The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know over what they stumble.” (Proverbs 4:19)
Affairs aren’t love. They’re lies dressed up as passion, and they leave nothing but pain behind. True love cannot come from sin. It comes from God, rooted in truth, commitment, and selflessness. Anything else is a counterfeit that only leads to confusion and regret.
True healing and clarity come from repentance. Grief is an opportunity to turn away from sin and seek God's forgiveness and restoration.
When a woman is having an affair or affair fog. Everyone else is grabage. And who ever is garbadge is like less than garbage.women get into an affair fog much deeper than men my guess.
I would have to disagree, my male clients have been deep in the fog as well.
@@staceychenevert might be right.
@@staceychenevert anyway how are you these days have you moved on.
@raybon7939 I'm well, tks. It has been 12 years since the affair and I have definitely moved on with my husband.
@@staceychenevert interesting. In your defense the 21 st century isnt the 20 th century and the opposite sex and men are more of a part of your life than your spouse...
A spouse today is sourrrunded by the opposite sex all day long. So....
Its a different world.