When you overspend & overbuild your cheap car but it still FAILS constantly!
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- Опубліковано 11 сер 2022
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John Ficarra from @FicarraClassic tells the amazing story of Ultrabeige.
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#MonteCarlo #cannonballrun #The2904 - Авто та транспорт
When a mechanic says “take his tools away” when referring to another person, you know it’s serious lol.
Been there.....kid installed a transmission in his girlfriends Tahoe, then it wouldn't start, turns out he out the torque converter on the flywheel, then put in all the bellhousings bolts and cranked it down. Ruined brand new 2000$ trans, and the flex plate.
Best part his girl made him sell his tools to pay us to put it in.
Hilarious 😂
Depends who's the mechanic.
@@ryurc3033 it is easy to fuck up transmission stuff though. My dad, a very experienced mechanic, was rebuilding a tractor gearbox and misplaced one shim. Blew a hole in the side of the case. Amazingly he was able to weld the hole shut and got it working again. But yeah, don’t work on things you don’t understand.
@@ryurc3033 the way
Ah, Ultra Beige. I don't miss you at all. Ok, maybe a little bit. No, come to think of it, NOT AT ALL.
I won’t lie, I thought this was a ‘79 Ford LTD. ‘Roll em up!’
I can put you in a 73 Chrysler New Yorker, she'll cannonball you down a few blocks
Ah, Union guys story! What a cruel, cruel Mistress you have been. Every Friday I have waited oh, so patiently for the 10:00 hour, hoping that today is the day. I say to myself, "Myself! Surely this will be the day when John finally shares the story of his interactions with the Union labor guys, when he owned the movie car rental business in New York". Alas, it was not meant to be. Forlorn, I carry on with my day and I wonder, will be ever tell us the story? Can this really be Red? Did I just call myself Shirley?
My first car was a ‘77 Monte. I feel your pain. 🤣
What is the V70R story?
"Let's just fill it up with gas again. That will fix it!" Words to live and die by.
It actually has got me home before when I had a failing fuel pump, filling the tank kept the pump cool till I got home.
Tried convincing myself the new tires fixed my torque converter 😂😭
@@theepicricemaker6611) 0)
“DING, I own ultra beige.” Is now my new favorite quote of all time 😄
I owned a 1976 Monte Carlo, and at no point during ownership of that car did I *ever* say: "It's not a bad car." I hated it, and couldn't flip it fast enough. I traded it for a 1977 Cutlass Supreme with 350 motor, bucket seats, and a huge screaming chicken on the hood. Loved it.
Hey, my parents had a 1977 Monte Carlo Landau! It was the first new car my father ever bought, when he got his first raise at the job he took straight out of college. He custom-ordered it and everything, which meant he not only intentionally bought a metallic-chocolate-brown car with a beige vinyl roof and tan vinyl interior, he _specifically instructed General Motors to build it that way._ The '70s, man. Strange days.
Sometimes I like to look at old pics just for the bizarre color combos and weird patterns on everything, when I was a kid we had a brown corduroy sofa, mint green patterned wall paper, and all the furniture frames were out of chromed tubing including that abomination of a sofa. I'll spare you the rest, but it didn't get any better.
@@noth606 Our sofa was covered in this incredibly scratchy heavy-gauge burlap in an amazing brown and black tweed pattern. It probably came from Sears, like pretty much everything else in the house. It was so prickly, uncomfortable, and ugly we had to cover it with a bedsheet.
@@ZGryphon I had a orange and yellow striped couch made of that burlap type material in my garage for a long time. EVERYONE who ever saw it was like "Who in the hell ever thought that wasn't ugly as hell" We all used to wonder who the original owner was
And remember, those were the days women didn't shave *cough* that part of the body...
I had a '77 Monte Carlo that I purchased for the far too high a price of FREE. What it lacked in style, it ALSO lacked in reliability. It finally gave up the ghost to a lifelong battle with road salt. Rest in Pieces.
John's stories never disappoint. Great story John, happy you finally made it home.
"DING, I own ultra beige.” It was at this moment that John knew he f*cked up
The malaise era, truly the finest producer of...
Cars
Representing
Automotive
Perfection
Only the finest of "CRAP" was produced in the malaise era.
@@justaramblin835yeah… that’s the joke, smooth brain.
$12,900….? Yeah you were definitely donating to charity on that purchase! Great story!👍
Yeah if I owned that I'd just set a limit on how much I was willing to pay to get it hauled away
"The Oklahoma of the north. No, wait..." 😂🤣😅
“take his tools away” I'M DEAD!!!!
Yes a ficcara video
Always great to hear John tell a story. His love for cars is infectious. A man after my own heart.
So many of my friends had these malaise era Monte Carlos when I was in high school. They were so slow and and floated like boats. Of course I had an 85 Cavalier so I have no room to brag.
Same here . I graduated in 84. The parking lot was full of these Colonnades
I had a 74 that was rotted but had a 400 in it that I put my "Fuelie" heads on- with steam ports drilled- Aluminum intake, 750 Holley carb Schneider Camshaft and a set of headers. Needless to say in 1984 it would beat up on all the 5.0 Mustangs and laughable 3rd generation Z28's!
@@danielscott6787 400 small block? Those were rare.
@@AeroGuy07 Yes. 400 small block. Silver with red interior,swivel buckets console with floor shift.
"I know whats wrong with it, it ain't got no gas!"
…He’ll tell you, repeatedly.’’ 😂😂
John Ficarra, can in hand
“Goodbye Ultra Beige”
Yyyyyeeeesssss I asked for it yesterday and got it!!!! Damn it Ed you’re just spoiling me now. Casey and John back to back!! It’s like og vinwiki to end the week.
By the way aaaaahhhhhh I drive a Monte Carlo. And Doug tabbott can’t beat it in his perfect corvette either.
I remember seeing the car at Arne’s shop a few weeks before the 2019 C2C and I wasn’t sure it would be ready, then the Saturday day of the Start of the 2019 C2C we were both working on our cars at a shop in CT.
Its hard decision between John and Christopher is my favorite story tellers I think John just has him beat what a cool story hopefully the new owner loves her!
Take his tools away. LOL! John's the best. Thanks Ed!
I see Ficarra and I know I'm in for a good story.
This ^
A Ficara Friday is exactly what I needed!
I personally love the look of the Monte Carlos especially the g body variation I owned one and regret selling to this day
I've always wanted a first gen 70-72. They haven't completely blown up in price... yet.
@@jtelliso yeah I love the first gens with the chevelle rear end and that beyond huge hood the longest GM production hood if I remember correctly
Now I need to hear the V70R story
Roadkill guys should come to share some stories
I'll never criticize someone for buying a bad example of a car as I believe they've been punished enough by the experience. What I will gently criticize someone for is route choices in winter when they have to cross the Rocky Mountains. WTF - Wyoming in November when you're coming from KY to get to CA? It made for an adventure of course but surely you'd have had a bit of an easier time if you'd gone the southern route?
I doubt it could have made the climb to the Eisenhower tunnel.
Thankx for the shout out! Nothing is bad as Oklahoma taxes included. We still love you. After 33 years of my entire life here I wanna move north!
That style of Monty Carlo 1977 or 1978 was what one of the people on Trailer Park Boys had for 2--3 seasons as his car, but an all-black version without the fake wood paneling that eventually near the end if Julian having the car had a cheesy black spray paint wood wing on the back held up by two hockey goalie sticks in the back that were also sprayed black.
Love the constant content VINwiki! I love John's stories!
That’s a great story. So many good car stories on here. Just wanna say thanks to all the car people out here as crazy as me. Gettin me through this hard time of my 08 Honda v6 EX-L coupe being rusted out and not able to drive anymore…I need another car bad ! But I’m trying to live vicariously through other stupid car stories in the meantime and this title was just on time for what’s going on in my life right now!!! Thanks again !
Bear in mind... John owns an old Range Rover Classic, So UltraBeige must be REALLY really Bad :-)
My sister had a black 77. My Dad had a dark beige 79. The 79 was my fav. It originally came with that terrible Buick v-6 3.8l that Ironically would develop into the Awesome Forged steel crank Turbo 3.8 Grand National Motor. My uncle installed a 327 out of 68 Truck after the stock V-6 blew up. That thing flew. Both of those cars would float down the road.
Man talk about memorys makes me cry 😭
You guys need to check the audio on this because you can barely hear what he's saying but when it goes to commercial or the intro music or when Ed's pitching whatever he is selling about damn near blows your eardrums out.
Sounds fine on my end.
@@freighter1097 same
Having been stuck in Wyoming before, I feel your pain.
I grew up in 75-79 monte carlo’s . From like 82 -90 that’s all my dad would buy . He would buy one for 500 dollars and drive it ‘till it dies . Never had one with a working ac . I don’t think he knew how to work on the ac , and paying to fix was out of the question . Miserable is August in North Carolina in the back seat of a Monty Carlo with no AC .
9:55 thank god I’m not the only one that does that 😂
I always look forward to a good John Ficarra story.
Bro had me dying at the "fifteen minutes" part.
I love these model cars. I think they are beautiful 😍. Flowing lines and wonderful highway vehicles.
When I saw ficarra and ultra-beige in the thumb nail I had to watch!
LOVE all of John's stories :)
Great great story bro. The close out line was fantastic.
The 77 was still the big chassie it's still had A350 in it the the 305 came about in the sevemty eighths which were the smaller chassis.
And 75 and 76 you get a 400 in there by 77 they had detuned the 350 and that was pretty much the solo engine
Another great story from a great story teller 👍🏻
John Ficarra looks so much like British actor Tom Hollander I double take every time.
Nothing beats a good car story. 🚗 first an last love of most life's are cars. They're up there with our pets.
when you cant control your trigger finger when bidding lol
Wyoming fun fact: 10th largest state. With population of 581.000 across all 23 counties. My memory of driving through its a road sign “get fuel now. next gas station in 183 miles”.
I had a rebuilt 1974 my father built with two cars(I think one was stolen) . It was very reliable and I guess the rebuilt motor had something to do with it. All the hate seems unwarranted. That car taught me how to correct oversteer because of the extremely light rear end and it taught me how to drive large vehicles because it was huge. Good tires and shocks made a huge difference as well in handling
I did the messing around bid once on a Toyota pickup on eBay and ended up winning it. Who would've thought you could buy a running and driving Toyota pickup for $400? Not me, but I made a nice profit on it.
When it was live on BAT I tried to get the bids up using Cannonball times, it worked, but not well enough.
The 305 ain’t bad as long as you don’t mind never going over the speed limit and taking 30 seconds to get up to speed.
That's why every time I get an old school car with a 305 and immediately goes into a pile of 305s and I pull a 350 from a pile of rebuilt 350s and slap it in said vehicle
@@dustinmiller7278 pile in pile out. chevy.
Hey...the 305 could work for a daily driver...just not great for a performance car. I threw one together for a guy out of spare parts laying around for a 70 Monte Carlo who just wanted it to 'be reliable for 6 months until I get out of college'. Tried to tell him that if it was built to be reliable for 6 months..it would probably last 6 years, gave him the best deal I could and built the motor. Fast forward 8 years and I'm now in Florida (guy was in PA) and I get a phone call....'hey..do you remember me'? Sure! 'Well...that motor you built that I only wanted 6 months out of just rolled over 100K miles, still gets 22 miles per gallon and was the best money I EVER spent on a car...and just wanted to tell you thanks again'. Nice. :)
It gets worse. I had a 79 Monte Carlo with a 267 small block . I put a RV cam in it when the stock lobes ground off at 60 k . Also put a alum intake and 600 Holley . I may have brought the power up to a 305 ??
@@recoilrob324 oh yeah, my sister had a 2wd square body with a 305 and it was a peach to drive around. Just not “sporty” or “fast” in any conceivable way. Had over 200k miles and ran great.
Thanks John 👍👍
I’m confused on why the 305 was the worst engine ever made.
I believe the horsepower rating versus a 4.3 V6 was a 5 hp difference. At least it was when I was selling GM cars new in one unmemorable model year of specs. So that would make it heavier and a driver would keep putting the pedal down thinking it was going to go better and all it did was make the engine more inefficient than a V6 being driven normally. I had square body trucks that were nice that I sold just because they had a 305 in them and they were a pooch.
I’m trying to figure out the true meaning of your screen name.
Gosh, John's stories are ALWAYS Soo Goood.
i lived this story, with a 95 chevy 4 x 4. i dropped 18K into it & ended up with a beautiful short bed pickup with an engine that built up a ticking noise. That was game over & sold her.
I know that feeling of winning and auction you don't want to win
John is a great story teller.
They can be painted to look quite impressive. The swiveling captains seat was a cool option. Still a land yacht with over an acre of sheet metal. Nice photos to go along with entertaining story.
Fantastic natural storyteller 👍😆
JF is a living legend! When does the book come out?
Johns next shirt is gonna say “be there in15 mins”
I'm a simple man. I see a John Ficarra story. I watch.
Great story and story telling
always a treat when john ficarra appears
John, show up at the Southern Classic and you can see the splendor that is the "Prince Valium" '76 Plymouth...in western Wyoming is where my daughter & I pulled an average of 186.4 MPH in a Shelby on a long, straight 5+ mile run. Love Wyoming
Can't beat the Beige!
Yeah.... Sure.....
I completely understand why you sold it, but if ever there was a hood that could absorb a RR Merlin.... Could've been a hell of a project! 😄
Thanks for another great story from the master!
The Family truckster 🤣
Fantastic story as always!
A monte Carlos isn’t that hard to sell it’s the fact it has missing parts , Wires everywhere and a fuel cell , is why it was so hard to sell
Bloody good story teller mr john
Man! Those make good dirt track cars.
Wyoming can be very brutal! I've csme close to breaking down there once. Not a easy feeling when you're hours away from anything or help!
When so much stuff constantly breaks, does that make it an honorary Italian car?
Where is Doug? It's been a while since we had a good Corvette story.
WoW. What a story. Totally worth being late back to work. Hahahaha I had an ultra beige once….. I was also happy to see it go away. Hahahah
Any of you cannonballers ever see a late 80's Dodge Daytona (I think Silver and Blue) make one/or more of the runs? My mom worked at a auto shop that did repairs, tires, and auto body in Tulsa, OK. A guy trailered one in and had new Dunlop Tires put on it and a spare or 2. I don't remember if it was for a CB, or The Silver State Run, but I remember he said he had done one or the other & was heading to the other. It would have been '87 - '89. It had a lot of top end (at the time) countermeasures. I was always curious what happened to that car.
just picked up a 87 charger Shelby with similar paint job. she's a beaut
I have showroom floor dealer display materials for the blue with silver stripe Shelbys. You know the kind of stuff you put on the roof of the car a little trifold foil covered paper thing
When I was in college, I owned a 1975 1/2 Chevrolet Monte Carlo Landeau with a CID 350 V8 and stock parts. Two of my friends owned Monte Carlos, one was a 1977 and the other a 1978. We used to spend weekends racing the trains in the countryside and doing doughnuts. Mine certainly was faster because all that matters was experience driving fast cars. My friends didn't have a lot of experience driving powerful cars. This video brought back good memories. But this guy doesn't seem to know a lot about these Monte Carlos. They were fast, but they also were built on the cheap side. They have to be treated with care too or they break on you.
Damn Wyoming is not a good place to break down in November. Its cool you had a shit show moment in my neck of the woods though lol
My buddy had a beige 76 monte with the swivel seats car was sick until the fuel tank frame and bumper all fell off at once
Sounds like this 95 taurus I picked up for 1200 and put 1000 in it..barley getting back an forth to work..why does life gotta be so hard nowadays
I'm pretty sure it was the next generation that got the 305 that had to be a 350
ANY Ficarra… I’ll take it !
Ficarra: So we’re in the middle of Wyoming
Me: *Thinks about Casper and KingCobraJFS*
Ficarra: And there’s a Penske truck in Casper
Me: *Spergs out*
TWU
@@TylerWadleigh Hopefully he had some sick drink combos with the cobro!
I want the volvo wagon story!
Lmfao 🤣- we car guys have all owned an “ULTRA BEIGE” at some point in our lives…
Love the old boats as far as style goes for the era everything that that same feel while driving. Owned enough of them in my time lol
I want a 76 - 77 Cutlass Supreme.
I took my first drivers test in 1985 in a Monte Carlo of similar vintage. I was 16, the car was my parents, and, unfortunately, the carb had an issue which caused it to stall at low RPM. I wasn't doing great, but at least the examiner was still in the car. The final part of the test was parallel parking. I did exactly as I was taught in drivers ed and got the car parked properly, but the car stalled twice during the process. Mind you, this car was an automatic, and it stalled because of the carb issue. The examiner didn't care, each stall docked me one point and I failed the test by two points. My parents got rid of the car not long after that.
Ouch. That reminds me of when I took my license test. My big sister had a car but no license yet so we took drivers education together. She was pretty terrible starting out and had a terrible time parallel parking because she wouldn't practice with me. So we get to the place where the test was held and she went first. Immediately she failed the parking test because the instructor had us run it first. Then she couldn't ride in the car while I took my test so she had to stay in the parking lot on a rainy day while my mom and I went for the test with the instructor. He asked me to turn right on a red light as we were turning back to the lot. and I did but without coming to a full complete stop before hand. It was a safe manuver because I could see no cars were coming from the left but I should have still come to a legal stop. . I just kinda took the turn like my parents would have. As soon as I made the turn I knew I'd just ducked up. The dude just audibly groaned But I just looked at him and said "you already have to see my sister again. Do you really wanna see me ever again as well?" The dude was super gruff and was just like okay whatever I won't mark that down. But I should have been automatic failured right then also. But then I get back to the parking lot where my sister is soaked and misserable and jealous that I just got my license using her car before her despite her being older. And despite the fact that I had done something way more dangerous than failing to parallel park. I took like 4 hours the next day to teach her how to park and she passed easily a month later and all was forgiven. Not the same scenario at all But I thought it was hilarious and worth sharing 😂
@@killeralltires I can relate to the failure to come to a complete stop. I have ridden motorcycles since I was seven-years old. My avatar photo is me in '76 at nine-years old on my second bike. When I was in the Navy, 10-years later, I decided it was time to get a license to ride on the road. I was stationed in Norfolk, VA, and went to the local DMV with my Kawasaki 550. I had just spent a week taking the motorcycle safety course on base, so I passed the written part of the exam with ease. The examiner and I then went outside, and he told me ride the bike in a short lap of the parking lot. No problem! After making the lap. I parked, walked up to him and he let me know I had failed. I was like, "What do you mean I failed?" He then pointed to a stop sign in parking lot, which I never saw, because, up to that point, I had never seen a stop sign in a parking lot before. As far as I was concerned, this part of the exam was simply a dirty trick they used to generate revenue by having most riders take the exam twice. I returned a month later and passed with flying colors. This incident, along with another traffic ticket trap (a small sign stating no right turns were allowed at a main intersection between certain hours of the day) in Virginia Beach, and a base gate guard who insisted the tabs on my cars license plate were fake, left me with not so fuzzy feelings for the state.
Love John as always.
Can we have a John playlist?
"Nothing is as bad as OK" - LOL
Nothings as bad as Oklahoma... Nebraska: Am I joke to you?
You guys need to come do the Canadian version of the cannonball
Ultra Beige could be the new RED?
I had a colleague who had four or five mid-'70s Monte Carlos. He rotated driving them unless he was repairing one.