Wonderful, wonderful advice. I wish I had considered this 51 years ago. I married an unbeliever, and have regretted it every day since. PLEASE get your priorities straight. Young people, PLEASE don’t make the mistake that I did. 🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏
I believe God is taking us on a whole new level on how to be as a believer. One that is dumb to not believe in a God is just another soul that need be saved. As believers the gifts of the Holy Spirit will armor men of God to deal with those that do not believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus. Thank God in all situations. love Him and rejoice in His mercies.
This didn’t work in my marriage. A pastor told us about this concept 30 years ago - the husband is responsible for everything idea - 100/0 sort of thing. My spouse was abusive and an unbeliever. He took over my world so I felt incompetent to do anything and he wouldn’t work to earn money so I could do my job well, because he was taking over my space and pushing me out. It was all about him and how amazing he was at doing everything, and how inadequate I was. I was finally demoted below the children to the level of the dog. Point here is: be very careful not to marry a pathological liar, or any phony unrepentant narcissist. I agree Jesus must be the foundation and the center of a thriving and healthy Christian marriage and home.
I am a Christian man, I work in a machine shop, and I can tell just by talking for 5 minutes with the guys which ones are abusive at home. It’s probably close to half of them. I’m always dumbfounded at how young women have no discernment about arrogance and how linked to abuse it is. I hope and pray you heal completely from that mentally and spiritually sick man you were with. The more I learn to accurately perceive this world, the more Jesus stands out as completely different from all the depravity here. He really was the son of God.
Thank you for mentioning abuse. My ex husband was a dedicated church-going, Bible reading Christian, but after we got married he became emotionally and psychologically abusive, as well as violent such as punching holes in walls and threatening to cut his own wrists just to scare me and get me to shut up when he didn't have a good response to something I said. When he started to get physically violent with me, I stayed at a friend's house for a few days and he served me divorce papers while I was there. I had been giving 100% and was committed to loving him and being as good to him as I could, but when the other person is literally giving zero back, it's not going to last unless there's a miraculous change of heart.
Marriage is a sacred covenant, between man, woman and God. As a couple who come together in marriage, we follow Gods word throughout our lives together, being obedient to His commands on love, marriage and children.
If marriage is a contract, I can only understand it if I consider it also signed by God. He is the authority behind it. Therefore braking marriage is an uttermost serious thing because God is involved.
On schooling in something other than a government school: The command is to "train up a child in the way he should go", and the rest of the verse is not "unless it lowers your standard of living"!
Exactly my point of view. I started marriage with the intention of not expecting my husband to do anything as regards the home(of course I knew he worked hard at his job). He was very on hands and thoughtful. I remember as a young married lady thinking we seemed to be in competition for what each did for the other. I also agree with you that it’s about pleasing Jesus. Makes all the difference in a relationship.
Good video! I want to ask, not for me anymore, but others: Please have more teaching on abuse! Please please please (a call to all pastor/teachers, not just one guy). Too many times people in danger get flung carelessly into the fire. They're already damaged! Help them! I grew up in abuse, and it's been so very hard to think straight. My brain is like a crumpled piece of paper; it should be flat with information readily discernable, but my brain is crumpled and the information reads wrong. Then if I try to straighten it out, things are different and confusing, and it's hard to trust the truth. I grew up in hell, and now my mind is hell! Help us!
Thankyou so much for mentioning the economic issue and wants versus needs. Of the young families that have joined our church post-covid, I have discovered they don't want to homeschool because it would tie them down. They don't seem to enjoy being with their children (often discipline issues), then feel they must go towork to help pay for Christian school tuition. But they live in nice new homes in upscale neighborhoods and , I guess, think this is normal. My husband and I raised and homeschooled eight children on one income, and that of a Christian school teacher (paid half or less than public school teachers without the benefits) and nine years overseas as missionaries. I was happy to economize. The Lord ALWAYS took care of us. We learned to live by faith. If you step out to do what the Lord leads you to do, only after you takes those steps does He show His provision. These gals at my church mostly don't want to hear from me, even though I am 68 and now have 17 grandchildren. I am somewhat reserved, so would do a lot of listening, but rarely offered advice, since I began to sense the prevailing philosophy of family life. At my church, the young mothers primarily follow the advice of their peers, whether from an online podcast or from friends. I don't know what their husbands think, or how their marriages are working, because my interactions were with young mothers, as a group mentor that attended a once a month meeting with them. Once, again, thank you so much for your helpful words on contract versus covenant. It was beautifully expressed. I will begin thinking more about the 100% to 0% in my relationship to my husband, and how all I do is unto the Lord. Thank you so much!
When you get married, it’s literally illegal contract with the state if it wasn’t, people wouldn’t have an issue because you could stop without legal penalties
In general, we Christians should learn more from people who know how things work, such as older Christian couples, and of course from the Bible, rather than being influenced by the spirit of the times.
Like the old knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade said, "You must choose, but choose wisely." And the correct cup wasn't the one that was beautiful on the outside, but rather, it was the plain one. That saved Indy's life.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship do righteousness and iniquity have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? In addition to God's Word instructing us to marry a Christ follower, our marriage relationship should be a covenant, not a contract. Our marriage covenant is modeled by Jesus and his relationship with the body/church. This is referenced many times in the New Testament.
Summary of the video is Matt: 6;33 - But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. While I hate to use single versus this is one of the few that can stand on its own and essentially the actions of any practicing Christian should strive for in all things, as Jesus Christ taught and showed us by his actions and words.
Chesed Pronunciation: KHEH-sed Chesed in the Torah reflects God's kindness toward humanity and the love we are called to show each other. "Chesed" is a Hebrew word often translated as “loving-kindness” or “steadfast love,” representing deep, loyal, and covenantal love that goes beyond obligation. (Source: Israel Bible Center hebrew word of the day).
Before breaking up marriage, consider that God is involved. Marriage is a sacrament by wich people may be sanctified into the eternal life of heavens, a life of love and a life of sacrifice. Specially people that burden each other thinking little to none of their doing should consider that. Those who tempt each other in so close a bound shall not refrain from tempting God in the end.
I really like this, there is just one thing. If I should expect zero, then I don't want to get married. It's a good advice after you already got married to a good person though. But I could never marry someone expecting nothing. Then I'd rather stay single.
Could you provide some advice or insight in if you didn't choose wisely? Is it a case of choosing God and then upholding your values/boundaries and hoping one day they come around or addressing it with them?
I do not think the separation between covenant and contract is fair. Contract is a type of covenant. In fact, I can see the two lexemes as being synonyms of each other.
You're only released by a covenant by death. It's not the same for a contract. Contract requires both sides to keep the deal. A covenant is regardless of not getting what you're expecting you're bound to that deal until death. Definitely a difference.
If we only followed the crystal clear teachings in the new testament about how God wants husbands and wives to be in their relationship to each other and the God ordained roles, responsibilities and leadership and backup support, Christian marriages would be successful. I have carefully studied marriage right through the bible beginning from the garden of Eden and what is openly displayed in the traits of men and women and now I understand much better the commandments and advice given to men and women in the bible which is applicable to Christian couples of all eras. It literally boils down to what is deep down in the hearts, minds of men and women as 2 different genders. The Bible is my teacher.
The so-called roles aren't as there as much as people think since only Christ can determine doctrine. Paul can only tell the good news and give examples of how to live out Christ's teachings. To make a long story short, the Ephesian verses, which correctly start with 5:21, submit to one another, are just an example of how to live out Christ's command to love one another. There is no hierarchy there, no who is the boss, etc.
Even more than that, if married couples each walked obedient to the teachings of the Scriptures not just what pertains to marriage they would have a great marriage.
Perhas we just need to follow St . Paul writing 1 Corth. Ch 7 verse 1 Better it be that a man does not touch a women. St. Paul writing to the early Churches 20 times said that Celibacy was the higher calling, only allowing marriage if you could not control your sexual urges. Just the facts.
Usually. But my husband wasn't financially responsible. And there was no life insurance for me. He didn't believe that men have to provide. I'm better on my own,broke than being married,broke.
What do you do if you do not share the same view, you did not choose wisely and you now in a abusive " christian marriage relationship based totally on a transactional mindset ? The 100% focus on pleasing God in your marriage can only exisit if you are taught about marriage before you get marriage. Christians are celebrating and looking for a transactional marriage this is not the Godly way. Every issue I think should start with God's will in marriage. It is the lords prayer " Thy will be done "
Wonderful, wonderful advice. I wish I had considered this 51 years ago. I married an unbeliever, and have regretted it every day since. PLEASE get your priorities straight. Young people, PLEASE don’t make the mistake that I did. 🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏
I don't want to be rude, but how did the marriage go and where are you now in your marriage? Has he become a Christian?
so true. I am in the same situation. 💔
I believe God is taking us on a whole new level on how to be as a believer. One that is dumb to not believe in a God is just another soul that need be saved. As believers the gifts of the Holy Spirit will armor men of God to deal with those that do not believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus. Thank God in all situations. love Him and rejoice in His mercies.
@@aissers6840 I hope you too rejoice in your God, love Him and love your neighbors.
If you married an unbeliever please read power of a praying wife
This didn’t work in my marriage.
A pastor told us about this concept 30 years ago - the husband is responsible for everything idea - 100/0 sort of thing.
My spouse was abusive and an unbeliever.
He took over my world so I felt incompetent to do anything and he wouldn’t work to earn money so I could do my job well, because he was taking over my space and pushing me out. It was all about him and how amazing he was at doing everything, and how inadequate I was. I was finally demoted below the children to the level of the dog.
Point here is: be very careful not to marry a pathological liar, or any phony unrepentant narcissist.
I agree Jesus must be the foundation and the center of a thriving and healthy Christian marriage and home.
I am a Christian man, I work in a machine shop, and I can tell just by talking for 5 minutes with the guys which ones are abusive at home. It’s probably close to half of them. I’m always dumbfounded at how young women have no discernment about arrogance and how linked to abuse it is. I hope and pray you heal completely from that mentally and spiritually sick man you were with. The more I learn to accurately perceive this world, the more Jesus stands out as completely different from all the depravity here. He really was the son of God.
"Choose wisely and treat kindly."
Words to live by!
Thank you for mentioning abuse. My ex husband was a dedicated church-going, Bible reading Christian, but after we got married he became emotionally and psychologically abusive, as well as violent such as punching holes in walls and threatening to cut his own wrists just to scare me and get me to shut up when he didn't have a good response to something I said. When he started to get physically violent with me, I stayed at a friend's house for a few days and he served me divorce papers while I was there. I had been giving 100% and was committed to loving him and being as good to him as I could, but when the other person is literally giving zero back, it's not going to last unless there's a miraculous change of heart.
I am so sorry this happened to you. May the Lord mend your heart ❤
Sign those papers and run 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️
Usually the abuse is the other way around
Marriage is a sacred covenant, between man, woman and God.
As a couple who come together in marriage, we follow Gods word throughout our lives together, being obedient to His commands on love, marriage and children.
If marriage is a contract, I can only understand it if I consider it also signed by God. He is the authority behind it. Therefore braking marriage is an uttermost serious thing because God is involved.
On schooling in something other than a government school:
The command is to "train up a child in the way he should go", and the rest of the verse is not "unless it lowers your standard of living"!
Exactly my point of view. I started marriage with the intention of not expecting my husband to do anything as regards the home(of course I knew he worked hard at his job). He was very on hands and thoughtful. I remember as a young married lady thinking we seemed to be in competition for what each did for the other. I also agree with you that it’s about pleasing Jesus. Makes all the difference in a relationship.
Good video! I want to ask, not for me anymore, but others: Please have more teaching on abuse! Please please please (a call to all pastor/teachers, not just one guy). Too many times people in danger get flung carelessly into the fire. They're already damaged! Help them! I grew up in abuse, and it's been so very hard to think straight. My brain is like a crumpled piece of paper; it should be flat with information readily discernable, but my brain is crumpled and the information reads wrong. Then if I try to straighten it out, things are different and confusing, and it's hard to trust the truth. I grew up in hell, and now my mind is hell! Help us!
May you find piece in our Lord. I like to read the book of proverbs. It helps straighten out my thoughts. Hope this helps ;)
Thankyou so much for mentioning the economic issue and wants versus needs. Of the young families that have joined our church post-covid, I have discovered they don't want to homeschool because it would tie them down. They don't seem to enjoy being with their children (often discipline issues), then feel they must go towork to help pay for Christian school tuition. But they live in nice new homes in upscale neighborhoods and , I guess, think this is normal. My husband and I raised and homeschooled eight children on one income, and that of a Christian school teacher (paid half or less than public school teachers without the benefits) and nine years overseas as missionaries. I was happy to economize. The Lord ALWAYS took care of us. We learned to live by faith. If you step out to do what the Lord leads you to do, only after you takes those steps does He show His provision. These gals at my church mostly don't want to hear from me, even though I am 68 and now have 17 grandchildren. I am somewhat reserved, so would do a lot of listening, but rarely offered advice, since I began to sense the prevailing philosophy of family life. At my church, the young mothers primarily follow the advice of their peers, whether from an online podcast or from friends. I don't know what their husbands think, or how their marriages are working, because my interactions were with young mothers, as a group mentor that attended a once a month meeting with them. Once, again, thank you so much for your helpful words on contract versus covenant. It was beautifully expressed. I will begin thinking more about the 100% to 0% in my relationship to my husband, and how all I do is unto the Lord. Thank you so much!
It sounds like you’ve got a wonderful experience of life and much wisdom. I’m sure many would be interested to listen to you.
Satisfying to hear Godly wisdom in a godless age.
When you get married, it’s literally illegal contract with the state if it wasn’t, people wouldn’t have an issue because you could stop without legal penalties
In general, we Christians should learn more from people who know how things work, such as older Christian couples, and of course from the Bible, rather than being influenced by the spirit of the times.
You are spot on with all you had to say. It's amazing how lives could be the same on all different planets we live on.
Well, I tried to choose wisely.
Like the old knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade said, "You must choose, but choose wisely." And the correct cup wasn't the one that was beautiful on the outside, but rather, it was the plain one. That saved Indy's life.
Yes! Exactly! It’s not something you need it’s something you want that’s causing us to abandon the roles that God gave us.
Such wise counsel
2 Corinthians 6:14 Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship do righteousness and iniquity have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?
In addition to God's Word instructing us to marry a Christ follower, our marriage relationship should be a covenant, not a contract. Our marriage covenant is modeled by Jesus and his relationship with the body/church. This is referenced many times in the New Testament.
Summary of the video is Matt: 6;33 - But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. While I hate to use single versus this is one of the few that can stand on its own and essentially the actions of any practicing Christian should strive for in all things, as Jesus Christ taught and showed us by his actions and words.
This channel is awesome.
Chesed
Pronunciation: KHEH-sed Chesed in the Torah reflects God's kindness toward humanity and the love
we are called to show each other.
"Chesed" is a Hebrew word often translated as “loving-kindness” or “steadfast love,” representing deep, loyal, and covenantal love that goes beyond obligation. (Source: Israel Bible Center hebrew word of the day).
Chesed can also be translated as mercy
Before breaking up marriage, consider that God is involved. Marriage is a sacrament by wich people may be sanctified into the eternal life of heavens, a life of love and a life of sacrifice. Specially people that burden each other thinking little to none of their doing should consider that. Those who tempt each other in so close a bound shall not refrain from tempting God in the end.
For anyone considering divorce, read Matthew 5.
Renegotiate the contracts we blindly signed whereby we volunteer to gift a large percentage of our blood, sweat and tears to our Uncle Samuel.
So good
I really like this, there is just one thing. If I should expect zero, then I don't want to get married. It's a good advice after you already got married to a good person though. But I could never marry someone expecting nothing. Then I'd rather stay single.
Could you provide some advice or insight in if you didn't choose wisely? Is it a case of choosing God and then upholding your values/boundaries and hoping one day they come around or addressing it with them?
Which book are you talking about? I think I'd like to buy it.
Amen 😊
I do not think the separation between covenant and contract is fair. Contract is a type of covenant. In fact, I can see the two lexemes as being synonyms of each other.
You're only released by a covenant by death. It's not the same for a contract. Contract requires both sides to keep the deal. A covenant is regardless of not getting what you're expecting you're bound to that deal until death. Definitely a difference.
That sounds hard.
If we only followed the crystal clear teachings in the new testament about how God wants husbands and wives to be in their relationship to each other and the God ordained roles, responsibilities and leadership and backup support, Christian marriages would be successful. I have carefully studied marriage right through the bible beginning from the garden of Eden and what is openly displayed in the traits of men and women and now I understand much better the commandments and advice given to men and women in the bible which is applicable to Christian couples of all eras. It literally boils down to what is deep down in the hearts, minds of men and women as 2 different genders. The Bible is my teacher.
The so-called roles aren't as there as much as people think since only Christ can determine doctrine. Paul can only tell the good news and give examples of how to live out Christ's teachings. To make a long story short, the Ephesian verses, which correctly start with 5:21, submit to one another, are just an example of how to live out Christ's command to love one another. There is no hierarchy there, no who is the boss, etc.
Even more than that, if married couples each walked obedient to the teachings of the Scriptures not just what pertains to marriage they would have a great marriage.
Perhas we just need to follow St . Paul writing 1 Corth. Ch 7 verse 1 Better it be that a man does not touch a women. St. Paul writing to the early Churches 20 times said that Celibacy was the higher calling, only allowing marriage if you could not control your sexual urges. Just the facts.
🛐✝️🕊️🙌🙏
Ramsey talks about this. Financially married people do better
Usually. But my husband wasn't financially responsible. And there was no life insurance for me. He didn't believe that men have to provide. I'm better on my own,broke than being married,broke.
What do you do if you do not share the same view, you did not choose wisely and you now in a abusive " christian marriage relationship based totally on a transactional mindset ?
The 100% focus on pleasing God in your marriage can only exisit if you are taught about marriage before you get marriage.
Christians are celebrating and looking for a transactional marriage this is not the Godly way. Every issue I think should start with God's will in marriage. It is the lords prayer " Thy will be done "
👏👏👏
Love your wife, but keep the pants on yourself.