how to forgive yourself + own your mistakes | don't prove, just be | feat. Skillshare

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  • Опубліковано 30 кві 2024
  • the first 500 people to use my link: skl.sh/tiffanytv04241 will get a 1 month free trial of Skillshare 🤎
    so this video started around the idea of being okay with being the villain in some people's story, and it evolved to something way deeper: the power of accepting your mistakes + truly forgiving yourself... then you never have to worry about what people think.... it was something I needed to hear. grab your bevvys + lets heal a little more 🍷
    "i'm listening. | reflection decks." - www.tiffanylaibhen.com/shop/d...
    "affirmed sweatshirts" - www.tiffanylaibhen.com/shop/c...
    links: linktr.ee/tiffanylaibhen

КОМЕНТАРІ • 186

  • @charniesemiller696
    @charniesemiller696 Місяць тому +161

    Be ok with being the villain in someone else’s story. A gift. Thank you 🙏🏾

    • @TiffanyTV
      @TiffanyTV  Місяць тому +2

      it was what I needed to hear too sis 😘

    • @elvia3068
      @elvia3068 Місяць тому +3

      Thankyou for this comment I gaved myself that permission in 2020

    • @who.kayyyy6896
      @who.kayyyy6896 7 днів тому +3

      Factssss

    • @sagittariusbeauty
      @sagittariusbeauty 6 днів тому +2

      ❤ Thank you for reminding me!

  • @itstinamichelle
    @itstinamichelle Місяць тому +209

    My whole life depended on pleasing people until 2016 when I had no one to lean to at my worst but God

    • @444erna
      @444erna Місяць тому +5

      amen 🤍❤️‍🩹

    • @kayyrachelle9
      @kayyrachelle9 Місяць тому +10

      Girl well said because that’s what it sounds like I’m going through. I’m trying not to come off so angry about it but I’m mad I allowed this to happen .

    • @ajohonly3721
      @ajohonly3721 Місяць тому

      @@kayyrachelle9
      I’m currently had broken from people pleasing one sided friendships.
      And they don’t even know because that’s how much they don’t care,I’m so mad at myself 😢.

    • @whomadeherqueenie
      @whomadeherqueenie 27 днів тому

      amen girl, same. but Jesus is enough ❤

    • @estheradao
      @estheradao 7 днів тому

      Woaw same

  • @goldensparklingparticles
    @goldensparklingparticles Місяць тому +72

    "Don't prove, just BE" EXACTLY. Making this my mantra for the month.

  • @f4llenstarr
    @f4llenstarr Місяць тому +75

    Never delete this video I need to rewatch again

    • @user-gd7yx2kb7r
      @user-gd7yx2kb7r Місяць тому

      You have autonomous- protected rights to be happy and healthy In whatever your "pursuit of happiness" acknowledges.

    • @Krisyyyyy937
      @Krisyyyyy937 5 днів тому

      So true.

  • @ShibiviaDempress
    @ShibiviaDempress Місяць тому +44

    "Relax in yourself" That part hit me deep.

  • @TaptheSoul
    @TaptheSoul Місяць тому +71

    I wrote in my journal the other day that some people need a villain in their story. I have played villain/victim in my own story for so long until I realized that I take accountability for my mess but I need not keep the mess of others. So I'm ok being a villain in someone's story as long as I stay true to being accountable to my part...and let the rest of it go. (work in progress on letting go).

  • @ForeverFahari
    @ForeverFahari Місяць тому +60

    “Allow some things to be messy” I loveeee that because it’s so true.

  • @chanelxrenee
    @chanelxrenee Місяць тому +18

    the goal is to stay away from those who think the worst of others. definitely if they claim they’re a Christian. you’re supposed to see the best in everyone and treat others kindly.

  • @theimanb
    @theimanb Місяць тому +21

    I needed this! Being a people pleaser or caring too much about your image is so draining. Knowing who you are is truly freeing.

  • @musewounded
    @musewounded Місяць тому +27

    another aspect of forgiving yourself which i think would be a great addition to the tips alongside this video : is believe in your capacity for goodness, your capacity for growth and your capacity to resist the impulses of your past self

  • @andreajones-lang2760
    @andreajones-lang2760 Місяць тому +38

    I wonder how many others get as excited as I do whenever I see you post a new video. Thank you for operating as an artist -- true authenticity!!! Your insight is soooooo refreshing.❤❤✨✨💖💖

  • @f4llenstarr
    @f4llenstarr Місяць тому +12

    This video is like personal to me. Figuring it out.
    I feel like I've changed so much just hitting 30. I've definitely tried to fit in in my 20s and as you say "wanting people to see you a certain way, vs knowing who you are and being it"
    Now I feel I'm in that more centred self but it's like I've created a trail behind me (and life/relationships/experiences etc) of this false persona of me trying to fit in.
    Now that I've detached from it more it feels messy. Like people questioning me and my life change but it's like shit I just am who I really am now and need to go for it. One life and it's short. Feels good and bad.

  • @MissLeaaaaa
    @MissLeaaaaa Місяць тому +15

    This video is right on time! I have been struggling with this for the past few months due to a bad breakup. Part of me has been wanting to prove that I’m worthy to this man… but I know better. It’s just been a struggle. 😭

    • @TiffanyTV
      @TiffanyTV  Місяць тому +6

      take your time girl. as you can see, I’m reflecting on things from yearrssss ago. so it really takes time… just know, what you think about you really is most important. seeing myself through peoples eyes has me seeing myself as the old version of me, when I was no longer her.

  • @ariahcurry1748
    @ariahcurry1748 Місяць тому +6

    This video couldn’t have came at a better time

  • @acarol3875
    @acarol3875 Місяць тому +5

    I swear she always dropping the message I need to hear.

  • @dawnanderson5611
    @dawnanderson5611 Місяць тому +6

    Omg you hit the nail on the head, this current journey I am on I so okay with being the Villain. I’m not clearing up NOTHING 🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️. Say it loud for the people in the cheap seats you are not always right and it’s not everyone else’s fault

  • @user-sm7oh5pm7l
    @user-sm7oh5pm7l 5 днів тому +1

    EVERY SINGLE WORD. thank you so much. i appreciate this so much you wouldn’t even understand! i relate 1000% i have severe anxiety ptsd and depression and i constantly replay my past in my head and the trauma i’ve been through. im stuck in the victim mindset and i run away from people when issues arise i block them out and damn near never speak to them again. i have my guard up so much cause of my anxiety and it’s just too much. i wanna do better im 23 and can’t continue playing the victim overthinking about my past. i gotta move on and do better. thanks girl. this video means everything to me.

  • @nicolew5526
    @nicolew5526 Місяць тому +10

    Miss Tiffany, you are such a gem!
    I definitely understand that creativity shouldn’t be forced but this video hit the nail on the head.
    Thank you so much for sharing, you have no idea how much this topic has helped me.
    Sending much love 🫶🏾

  • @reneeortiz421
    @reneeortiz421 Місяць тому +5

    1:09 that’s how you make quality content and not just throwing out watered down whatever.
    I Love your content !

  • @alyssiaraye
    @alyssiaraye Місяць тому +7

    Tiffany you said something just then 🙌🏼 the goal is to actually change omg not for prove to someone that you are that omg I love thatttt!!!!

  • @caramel8907
    @caramel8907 Місяць тому +6

    I loved this video. I'm the same age as you and have recently done ALOT of work let go of overly criticizing my younger, insecure self. It's so hard sometimes to not go back to that mindset but the growing pains have been worth it! Your videos are always so timely and relatable💕

  • @taliajournee212
    @taliajournee212 Місяць тому +2

    I'm late to this video, but there were so many gems you mentioned in here. As black women (and even girls) I feel like we are not given the space to be 'messy'. In the last five years I've had to prune many relationships, people and places that were trying to tie me down to a version of myself I had outgrown many years ago. Thank you for the wisdom and encouragement 💓

  • @atasteofeswatini4822
    @atasteofeswatini4822 Місяць тому +2

    Sometimes I don’t listen to learn or grow but your voice and demeanor baby it’s soothing to my soul, thank you so much sis. Much love 🫂

  • @user-lg4uf2uf3h
    @user-lg4uf2uf3h Місяць тому +4

    Thank you so much I am coming out of this cycle and you right it is hard and I am 39 years old and will be 40 this year now I can give myself credit for my growth because trust me I have came along way but I do have few triggers sis that i must have suppersed but thank you

    • @TiffanyTV
      @TiffanyTV  Місяць тому

      yes… keep giving yourself grace + acknowledging your growth! we’re not perfect… we never will be.. growth + being able to call ourselves out when we’re triggered is what we celebrate!

  • @weaveaholic101
    @weaveaholic101 22 години тому

    Girl I clicked on your video by accident and I am SO HAPPY I listened to this message while cleaning! Very inspiring! You just gained a follower ❤

  • @EcomCarl
    @EcomCarl Місяць тому +2

    Taking time to reflect and be true to yourself is key. Your focus on balancing growth, creativity, and family while staying clear on your vision is inspiring! 🌟

  • @simplylobudgets
    @simplylobudgets 5 днів тому

    Girl, you put so much in words that I couldn't find the words for myself and my experience. Especially when you spoke about how you showed up in your past and that people may only know you as that past version of yourself. That one hit me so hard. I wish I could go back and adjust how I showed up in MANY situations. I can't change my past, but I can do better now and in the future... that I can and will do.

  • @sadiyaibrahim8574
    @sadiyaibrahim8574 Місяць тому +3

    Love this so much. So relatable, this is your calling don’t stop pls👏🏽💫

  • @RiriLove88
    @RiriLove88 16 днів тому +2

    Thank you! I cried listening to this. I’ve been ruminating on past mistakes. I was also dwelling on the hurt others caused me specifically with a past lover, to the point I wanted to speak my piece about the situation although it happened 11 years ago. I thought I already let this go. It was so random and I didn’t realize how impacted I was by it. I guess I never dealt with my emotions regarding this situation so I had to work through that. I was struggling to let it go and forgive myself for it as well as forgive them but you gave me great perspective. I really appreciate this video and it was such perfect timing. 🙏🏽💗💕

    • @TiffanyTV
      @TiffanyTV  16 днів тому +1

      🥹🫂 sending you so much love mama

    • @RiriLove88
      @RiriLove88 16 днів тому

      @@TiffanyTV Thank you ❤️

  • @geegee27
    @geegee27 Місяць тому

    Thank you for sharing ❤I needed this so badly.

  • @rdaliz
    @rdaliz Місяць тому +3

    This hit home. I'm speechless.

  • @HiddenObjectsFoundSubjects
    @HiddenObjectsFoundSubjects Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for this wisdoms ❤ definitely needed it today ✨

  • @vivianbell205
    @vivianbell205 Місяць тому +2

    So Happy to see a new video... Ive Been binge watching all week. You are the best. ❤

  • @afernandez0183
    @afernandez0183 Місяць тому

    This whole video is powerful. Thank you for posting/sharing.💕

  • @ChiamakaUkoha
    @ChiamakaUkoha Місяць тому

    girl...... This resonated with me so much. You are a blessing to this world, just know you are helping so many people.

  • @Ms.DeLisM
    @Ms.DeLisM Місяць тому +2

    I’ve been living by this philosophy for a while know so it’s refreshing to hear you encourage others to do it too! Thank you for sharing! 😊

  • @RiecesPeace
    @RiecesPeace Місяць тому

    Thank you for sharing! This is gold. You being proud of you is like no other feeling indeed. Resonated perfectly this way - thanks again 🙏🏽

  • @NaturalButterfly94
    @NaturalButterfly94 Місяць тому +1

    Wow. It’s not a mistake that I followed you randomly one day & am now seeing this video. This message is TIMELY. Thank God for using you to get this message to us ♥️

  • @rhondahud88
    @rhondahud88 Місяць тому +1

    Tiffany, you did your big one with this video! Thank you for this ❤

  • @joannaherrera8065
    @joannaherrera8065 Місяць тому +3

    I really need this. Thank for sharing.

  • @xylaroyals9030
    @xylaroyals9030 Місяць тому

    I love Tiffany she really be caring not just talking

  • @Dass1996
    @Dass1996 Місяць тому

    Your videos always come at the right time. I really needed this. Thank you. ❤

  • @consapevolmente_te
    @consapevolmente_te Місяць тому +2

    Thank you Tiffany !You are wise and the world needs your words.

  • @Beautifultome1221
    @Beautifultome1221 Місяць тому

    Wow I’ve been in hermit mode healing .. and you helped me realize I was attracted to people who I felt like I could or or needed it the most this video helped me so much !

  • @BehindtheSceneswithCi
    @BehindtheSceneswithCi Місяць тому +2

    I resonate with this so much like you mentioned I had only showed myself in a survival state and I’m now starting to really blossom into who I’ve always been and I’m very grateful for the path that have led me to this moment ❤

  • @JadeLeanneMusic
    @JadeLeanneMusic Місяць тому

    I needed this video! I relate heavy to this thank you for putting this out

  • @millym9414
    @millym9414 Місяць тому

    This is EXACTLY what I needed in this very moment…you spoke what I needed to hear…Thank you 🙏

  • @FruitofMyBranches
    @FruitofMyBranches Місяць тому

    This is so good & I absolutely needed it…Thank you 💜

  • @amrzlack3506
    @amrzlack3506 15 днів тому

    Wow I needed this, you are powerful ❤ thank you love your content.

  • @audacein5063
    @audacein5063 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you❤we are so connected. That’s what I am working on !

  • @JazUpMyStyle
    @JazUpMyStyle Місяць тому

    Yooo the way this spoke to my SOUL .:. Like my WHOLE SOUL!
    You talked about not caring about random people not seeing you for who you truly are and know how much you changed but what if it’s a family member that you love dearly? I’m working so hard on being okay with being content with who I am with the hope that those I love will see.

  • @MannerofMagi007
    @MannerofMagi007 Місяць тому +1

    It’s true the insidious distraction of performing for haters will highjack your goals… especially budget for investment. I remember the times I was always overspending and dressed to the nines it was because I knew I would be working around haters or visiting hater family members. They want to use status to hold it over your head. Just be yourself. It’s the most personally enriching thing you can ever do! Much more empowering to attract those that truly like and want the best for YOU. The real YOU.

  • @michellepereda9916
    @michellepereda9916 Місяць тому

    That is amazing and definitely what i needed to hear!

  • @ramonalisa4187
    @ramonalisa4187 Місяць тому +1

    WHEWWW! This video hits home on soooo many levels

  • @taerobinson3965
    @taerobinson3965 8 годин тому

    You have no idea how much your video has helped me. You have no idea 😢

  • @laurynfolker5136
    @laurynfolker5136 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for the content you produce it is so insightful and done with such passion. Your videos have pushed me to make necessary changes in my life that have brought so much peace in my life ❤ thanks for being you !

  • @AlwaysSpoilt
    @AlwaysSpoilt Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for this video - I was just having this thought to myself about an hour ago, as I shine myself through divorce, thrive and sparkle like never before, but I do worry that I’m partially doing it for the other party to regret treating me as they did and I don’t want any change to be seeking validation, and then I see this video…when it’s meant to be seen it will appear ❤❤

  • @onthisjoyride
    @onthisjoyride Місяць тому

    This video was is so helpful, clear & right on time! Thank you so much love! 💛🫶🏻

  • @luxurylivingwithkelly
    @luxurylivingwithkelly Місяць тому

    I remember a situation (25:00) where I had someone cut into me so deep where I struggle to hold back the tears and not give it back to them. But I remembered the work I’ve done and the amount of anger this person displayed after 10 years couldn’t possibly be about me. I listened and said good night at the end. It actually a couple days to gather my self and thoughts and I moved on. Thanks for this video and the work you’re doing. 🙏🏾

  • @Nn-db6tw
    @Nn-db6tw Місяць тому +1

    I literally have goosebumps, I feel like this video was made specifically for me. The way you touched on everything I’m going through currently, I know for sure that God is real. I attracted this video into my life and walking away with a breath of fresh air feeling. New insight. Thannnnnnkkkkk you so much for this. Thank you for showing up like this, so genuine ❤

    • @-Marshy-725
      @-Marshy-725 21 день тому

      Right, I feel so seen in this and I've been searching for what's been going on around me lately so glad God delivered this in time. Really gives me a breather ❤

  • @liciakeshunna
    @liciakeshunna 19 днів тому

    THISSS, is the message i have been looking for! thank you so much for helping me come to a realization that it’s okay to not be perfect all the time❤

  • @Daisysbasic
    @Daisysbasic Місяць тому

    Thank you so much for this video Tiffany it was very helpful and inspiring, and sometimes we do feel like we need validation from others to love ourselves. And sometimes we have to just listen to ourselves. 💗

  • @Naty-qr4bg
    @Naty-qr4bg 7 днів тому

    This channel is a breath of fresh air 🧘‍♀️🙏✨️

  • @Tx_Nay
    @Tx_Nay Місяць тому +2

    🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 You really have perfect timing.

  • @maggsfedrick3115
    @maggsfedrick3115 Місяць тому

    I needed this. Thank you ❤

  • @Zhane_la
    @Zhane_la 25 днів тому

    I needed to hear this message. I even took notes! 🤍Thank you so much for sharing.

  • @InTheKnowwithCass
    @InTheKnowwithCass Місяць тому

    Recently got my "On Purpose" sweatshirt in the mail and by the way you and your mom are gorgeous. I literally said "they are beautiful" out loud.

  • @reneew06294
    @reneew06294 13 днів тому

    Thank you for this video! I definitely needed to hear every word. This felt like a friend speaking to me. I love your videos 🩷

  • @jamielianne
    @jamielianne Місяць тому

    Loved this ❤ replayed it twice xx

  • @user-wp3it7ww4b
    @user-wp3it7ww4b 7 днів тому

    You are absolutely my favorite UA-camr. You have so many points that had me life - damn I’m guilty of this lol. Thank you so much for your insight.

  • @missaquarius8363
    @missaquarius8363 Місяць тому

    I am so happy that this video was suggested because I struggle with beating myself up for who I was while in survival mode.

  • @poshposh7609
    @poshposh7609 Місяць тому +1

    Looved this ❤Thank you.

  • @turquoiselangston8543
    @turquoiselangston8543 Місяць тому

    This message was for me. Thank you!

  • @beautyfrmwithin
    @beautyfrmwithin Місяць тому +5

    Ma’am!!! When you said you were trying to fix the people AND the revelation of you trying to fix something in yourself (that was a Gasp)! I was/am on a similar path of healing, learning, growing, loving, and accepting. We are enough.
    This video is a word. ❤

  • @rushmoreweingar7339
    @rushmoreweingar7339 17 днів тому

    This is such legit advice thank you

  • @anna_wairimu
    @anna_wairimu 29 днів тому

    i love you thankyou for your light😍

  • @Iambellarayne
    @Iambellarayne 16 днів тому

    This came up in perfect timing for me. I've been wanting to myself out there more but struggle with not being as "cool." Trying to not come as "too much" or "too prissy." I am in the position to be able to have things a certain way for myself, and that's okay, at least in my personal space. ❤

  • @jhaslett03
    @jhaslett03 Місяць тому

    Thank you for this amazing message ❤ 🎉

  • @MsNikki35
    @MsNikki35 Місяць тому

    Thanks i needed this especially for a Monday

  • @nanaadjoaboamah1019
    @nanaadjoaboamah1019 5 днів тому +1

    Thank you very much, this video helped a lot.

  • @kimonatomlin9825
    @kimonatomlin9825 Місяць тому +1

    @Tiffany Tv always speaking what is synchronizing with my thoughts. Thank you for always sharing your wisdom. It is very nice to know that I am not alone!

  • @sabrellelewis9167
    @sabrellelewis9167 Місяць тому +1

    This was great! Spot on!

  • @rachaeladol7688
    @rachaeladol7688 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you, Tiff❤❤❤❤

  • @tiffanyrobinson4719
    @tiffanyrobinson4719 20 днів тому

    Tiffany, you are in my head more than I like😒🤔You have truly touched on where I have been for a while now and it is a internal struggle but I'm working thru it!

  • @thecassandrahenderson
    @thecassandrahenderson Місяць тому +1

    This is the one ☝🏾sis! Thank you 🙏🏾

  • @truelivingp
    @truelivingp Місяць тому +2

    I loved this video so much. I spend so much time replaying my past mistakes and wondering what others think of me and if I’m making my parents proud. But I’m ready to start living for me. Truly showing up for myself and making myself proud. I saw this question floating around on Instagram “Do you actually want it or do you just want others to see that you have it?” And it’s make me go back and reevaluate some of thing goals I’ve set for myself. I think sometimes I strive to do things just to make others proud. But here’s to giving myself grace and living for me ❤ Your videos have helped me so much, that you for being for authentic

    • @reemshaaban6023
      @reemshaaban6023 8 днів тому +1

      Same,I'm only 20 years old and I made a big mistake from almost a year ago.You see I don't go out and communicate with people that often so one day a veryyy hurtful situation happened to me and started laughing and smiling like a stupid person and something else happened but all i'm gonna say is that looking back i find it EXTREMELY offensive.And now I think about that over and over and over and over again.I can't help but cry everyday bcz i still go to this place bcz i'm dead serious about learning.Although ppl changed and now they respect me there so much and love me and even clap for me but i constantly think about what happened and i feel like i just can't forgive myself bcz i feel like i lost my self worth infront of these people back then.can you give me some advice please bcz i know that they don't think about what happened as much as i do and i know that i can't change the past please i'm tired of repeating the same scenario over and over in my mind 24/7.I can't and won't ever tell my parents bcz i don't want them to judge me also i'm so ashamed to talk about what happened.i don't want to be depressed anymore i want to be happy

    • @reemshaaban6023
      @reemshaaban6023 8 днів тому +1

      If i stop going there now it's pointless because almost a year have passed now like i should have removed myself back then but now it's too late so yeah i prefer to go,learn self-defense bcz ot has ALWAYS been my dream to do that and try to ignore what happened even if it hurts me everytime

  • @twonrichpo1126
    @twonrichpo1126 Місяць тому

    So relatable. So deep. So real. Thanks Tiff.

  • @siphofati
    @siphofati Місяць тому +3

    Thnx, I watch your channel🙂🙌🏾

  • @Modelmodel4
    @Modelmodel4 Місяць тому

    Gworrrlll! 😢😮The way you spoke my life EXACTLY in parts of this video!!!!!🙌🏽 Please continue doing God’s work! Absolutely amazing🤗🙏🏽

  • @shanaesmith112
    @shanaesmith112 Місяць тому +3

    Congrats on 100k!

  • @myrafiacco306
    @myrafiacco306 15 днів тому

    Mmmmmm you helped heal a part of me today. Thank you for your words 💕

  • @michellebrown572
    @michellebrown572 Місяць тому

    I needed to hear this

  • @sanotaparks
    @sanotaparks Місяць тому

    Omg New Subscriber here 🙋🏾‍♀️!! Wow, when I say this video was God sent, I so needed to be reminded of this. Girl everything you said I agree 💯!! I pray you are blessed pretty lady and I'm sooo happy I stumbled across this video!! ❤️🙏🏾

    • @TiffanyTV
      @TiffanyTV  Місяць тому

      received girl 😌 welcome to the familyyyy!

  • @tiannaannenicole
    @tiannaannenicole Місяць тому

    This is so good ❤

  • @UndressWithEmpress
    @UndressWithEmpress Місяць тому

    Only God alone must of bought me to this video because I was scrolling looking for any vid to pass the time whilst I cooked but this was perfect. I’ve been a people pleaser and found myself in cycles where I felt always like a victim but I was contributing to it and accountability is everything I’m still learning. It’s ok to be human and trying to prove yourself is really not it. Thankyou so much resonated

  • @annalisarossi9584
    @annalisarossi9584 Місяць тому

    I needed this

  • @LynAllure
    @LynAllure Місяць тому

    Such a beautiful, refreshing conversation! New subbie 🙋🏾‍♀️💕🥂

  • @bonemonroe
    @bonemonroe 24 дні тому

    I love listening to you. ❤❤

  • @essence____beauty_92
    @essence____beauty_92 Місяць тому

    Yes yes this is it right here ❤❤❤❤thank you 💁🏽‍♀️💁🏽‍♀️💯💯

  • @melaniewolf7244
    @melaniewolf7244 5 днів тому

    love this