I only discovered I was ace 3 years ago through this guy in a singles group, who had asked me if i'd considered I may be ace. It's been the greatest discovery. My life is so much better and happier now I know i'm not defective and a prude.
I like how you mentioned that people look at your sex (and romantic) life and determine your “Worth” based off it. That says a lot about our society. I never thought about it, but it was a good point. Thanks.
Really liked your point about how labels can be empowering. Twice, when I've tried to come out, I've been advised not to label myself, because they're afraid I'll be limiting myself by doing so. But to me, the label "asexual" tells me I don't have to force myself to conform to societal expectations of sexuality, because there's nothing wrong with me for not wanting sex: it's just the way some people are. In that sense, it's freeing. My labels are descriptive, not prescriptive, and they tell me that I'm okay just the way I am.
I just recently found another Aroace friend in the same fan group as me on Facebook. We're both in the same musician's fan group and I stumbled across an article AVEN reposted with her name in it! Turns out she was interviewed as an Asexual. This Ace Week is going well 🌈💜
That's fantastic!! Aspec friends you find through mutual interests are so exciting :) When I first started talking about how I might be ace, I mentioned it in a group chat where I felt safe -- it was a group of friends I made from all over both US and Canada who were fans of the band The Maine. After I first said something, one of the members of that group messaged me directly and told me everything I'd said is valid, that she was proud of me, and that she's ace too. That was the first friend I had in my life who I knew was also ace. And at such an important moment for me as I'm just starting to scratch the surface of learning.
Being AroAce has thought me thats it's ok to not want a partner and kids. I never whas lonely because of it, i just coulden't place why i whas missing those feelings, thats why i whas sad for such a long time. I had not label to identefy me and i just felt like a broken mess and now i know i'm not broken, i'm just me.
I've only recently realized I'm ace, it's been 5 months ☺☺ ! I completely agree with what you said ! Especially with learning how to set boundaries for ourselves ! Also, I've never understood why intimacy was reduced to sex and sex being the most intimate thing to do with someone ... Intimacy has always been beyond sex (and even romance) for me. I don't know if it's because it's Ace Week but I feel less overwhelmed with the fact I'm ace. For a little while I thought I was Demisexual, now I'm not so sure ... All I know is I'm ace, I don't know where I fit under the Ace umbrella. I'm learning a little more each day and it's thanks to people like who are the representation that helps us being seen and understand, so thank you.
I’m what’s called a ‘people pleaser.’ Before I discovered asexuality, I was trying to get into relationships to please others, without any regard to what I wanted. Asexuality taught me (and this was a years-long process) that I what I wanted was just as important. This spilled over into friendships, family relationships, work relationships and so on.
For being ace week, two of my classes are making me do two different assignments that make both of my aro and ace sides uncomfortable. Is this oversharing? Probably. Do I care? No, because the irony is too great.
Asexuality has taught me to focus on my relationship with Jesus Christ. The complete absence of sexual desire has led me to a closer relationship with Jesus.
Granted I don't know if it counts but one thing I've found is that people seem a lot more accepting of me being demisexual if they know I'm autistic. Some are accepting regardless but still, I see a lot of people (especially men) who are expected to have someone (expected to be of the "opposite" gender and the same ethnicity) on their arm when in public. Me however, the idea that I wouldn't want sex unless we were really close friends is and not enjoying overt sexual expression outside of a friend context just made sense to people. I'd be seen as the sage, who would spread wisdom of ages for single people and couples and be the one who could be approached about relationship troubles without effecting the relationships of the tribe, my English is more limited so I used their terminology but I'm not sure if there is a more correct term for a group of extended families unified by a historic connection to a locality that also jockey for a social reputation that stays within said group but with the outsiders their reputation is based on that of the group. And while some of that might be due to being seen as outside the tribe (my surname highlights how my family is not entirely English even before being able to see how many centuries one can trace your family back to this town, some of those I went to school with could go as far as the 10th century to at least one of the surrounding villages), it also seemed that being perceived as incapable of my own desires added a sort of mysticism to me as being seen as capable of calm judgement and no way to tip the balance of reputation in my favour.
Thanks! Those things help me to remember that being AroAce is who I am, and I am valid. It also means that it is still my choice not to be out as an AroAce, because I don’t feel that being out is helpful & safe for me to be in public life. Thankfully, with this & other Ace channels on YT, I can also see that there are many other people who are like me in the Ace Spectrum 🖤🩶🤍💜
Been learning asexuality since discovery and still continuing to learn and discover more to this very day
I am finally out to the world and have finally embraced my identity. Thank you!❤
That’s fantastic! So happy for you! 🥹
I only discovered I was ace 3 years ago through this guy in a singles group, who had asked me if i'd considered I may be ace. It's been the greatest discovery. My life is so much better and happier now I know i'm not defective and a prude.
I like how you mentioned that people look at your sex (and romantic) life and determine your “Worth” based off it. That says a lot about our society. I never thought about it, but it was a good point. Thanks.
Really liked your point about how labels can be empowering. Twice, when I've tried to come out, I've been advised not to label myself, because they're afraid I'll be limiting myself by doing so. But to me, the label "asexual" tells me I don't have to force myself to conform to societal expectations of sexuality, because there's nothing wrong with me for not wanting sex: it's just the way some people are. In that sense, it's freeing. My labels are descriptive, not prescriptive, and they tell me that I'm okay just the way I am.
I just recently found another Aroace friend in the same fan group as me on Facebook. We're both in the same musician's fan group and I stumbled across an article AVEN reposted with her name in it! Turns out she was interviewed as an Asexual. This Ace Week is going well 🌈💜
That's fantastic!! Aspec friends you find through mutual interests are so exciting :) When I first started talking about how I might be ace, I mentioned it in a group chat where I felt safe -- it was a group of friends I made from all over both US and Canada who were fans of the band The Maine. After I first said something, one of the members of that group messaged me directly and told me everything I'd said is valid, that she was proud of me, and that she's ace too. That was the first friend I had in my life who I knew was also ace. And at such an important moment for me as I'm just starting to scratch the surface of learning.
Being AroAce has thought me thats it's ok to not want a partner and kids. I never whas lonely because of it, i just coulden't place why i whas missing those feelings, thats why i whas sad for such a long time. I had not label to identefy me and i just felt like a broken mess and now i know i'm not broken, i'm just me.
I've only recently realized I'm ace, it's been 5 months ☺☺ ! I completely agree with what you said ! Especially with learning how to set boundaries for ourselves ! Also, I've never understood why intimacy was reduced to sex and sex being the most intimate thing to do with someone ... Intimacy has always been beyond sex (and even romance) for me.
I don't know if it's because it's Ace Week but I feel less overwhelmed with the fact I'm ace.
For a little while I thought I was Demisexual, now I'm not so sure ... All I know is I'm ace, I don't know where I fit under the Ace umbrella.
I'm learning a little more each day and it's thanks to people like who are the representation that helps us being seen and understand, so thank you.
I’m what’s called a ‘people pleaser.’ Before I discovered asexuality, I was trying to get into relationships to please others, without any regard to what I wanted. Asexuality taught me (and this was a years-long process) that I what I wanted was just as important. This spilled over into friendships, family relationships, work relationships and so on.
For being ace week, two of my classes are making me do two different assignments that make both of my aro and ace sides uncomfortable. Is this oversharing? Probably. Do I care? No, because the irony is too great.
Hi Patrick! This video describes exactly how I feel!! Thank you so much! Im glad I subscribed!!
This is great. You're great!
Asexuality has taught me to focus on my relationship with Jesus Christ. The complete absence of sexual desire has led me to a closer relationship with Jesus.
Granted I don't know if it counts but one thing I've found is that people seem a lot more accepting of me being demisexual if they know I'm autistic.
Some are accepting regardless but still, I see a lot of people (especially men) who are expected to have someone (expected to be of the "opposite" gender and the same ethnicity) on their arm when in public.
Me however, the idea that I wouldn't want sex unless we were really close friends is and not enjoying overt sexual expression outside of a friend context just made sense to people.
I'd be seen as the sage, who would spread wisdom of ages for single people and couples and be the one who could be approached about relationship troubles without effecting the relationships of the tribe, my English is more limited so I used their terminology but I'm not sure if there is a more correct term for a group of extended families unified by a historic connection to a locality that also jockey for a social reputation that stays within said group but with the outsiders their reputation is based on that of the group.
And while some of that might be due to being seen as outside the tribe (my surname highlights how my family is not entirely English even before being able to see how many centuries one can trace your family back to this town, some of those I went to school with could go as far as the 10th century to at least one of the surrounding villages), it also seemed that being perceived as incapable of my own desires added a sort of mysticism to me as being seen as capable of calm judgement and no way to tip the balance of reputation in my favour.
❤❤❤❤❤
Thanks! Those things help me to remember that being AroAce is who I am, and I am valid. It also means that it is still my choice not to be out as an AroAce, because I don’t feel that being out is helpful & safe for me to be in public life. Thankfully, with this & other Ace channels on YT, I can also see that there are many other people who are like me in the Ace Spectrum 🖤🩶🤍💜