2020 Vlog #1: Holding on and Dating Disasters
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- Опубліковано 6 лют 2020
- Random clips and a GRWM where I talk about my dating woes.
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Second time hanging out and he's at your house being inappropriate. You might want to rethink that decision to bring a man home after the second time.
You are not helping Roger by mothering him. You are probably contributing to his lack of self worth when he feels you are always jumping into his life to "save" him. He needs to create his own self worth.
One of her issues is her savior complex.
Dating is rough. Please be careful inviting these men to your house. If they end up being bad people, they now know where you live. I understand you don't want to move too fast with people on dates, but inviting them to your house even if it is just to hang out can give them the wrong impression. That puts A LOT of trust into a total stranger. Public spaces are the best.
I think she may have problems with boundaries. No woman should be inviting a man to her home early in a relationship. It should always be neutral ground. We live in very dangerous times. She could come to regret this.
I always date somebody for a few months before giving personal details like my address! Visiting my home on the second date is crazy and it would weird me out!
Totally agree! Public is always best
Why would you invite anyone to your home after meeting them only one other time? You open up to fast with these men make some boundaries. You also give more of yourself to them than they do to you.
EXACTLY! “Omg ew why would he want to hug and kiss on me when I’m inviting him over right away in an intimate setting? So crazy ew so I ghosted him.” That’s nutty.
Dating is different these days. I do agree with you, but don’t be so quick to judge.
@@Nope-cw5mt you sound a bit jealous.
Thalia yes. I’m very jealous of a 500 pound woman who dates women who look like Xavier.
@@Nope-cw5mt 😆❤️
If someone who supposedly loves me called me just to tell me about some shit people I do not even know were saying about me, I'd be pissed. This is not having someone's back. This just creates insecurities and social anxiety. I've always liked you, Kandy, and I still do, but this was petty, self-serving and ultimately for nothing. You didn't confront the shit talkers and Roger had to have this interaction playing over in his head for no reason. Not cool. :-/
I mean she knows their relationship better than we do, right?? There are certain people who I KNOW would want to know if someone was shit talking them
@@gooseguidedguitar6618 true, but these are people he did not know. I doubt he cared about their opinion, other than the fact that it was hurtful. The only thing to come out of telling him this was hurt feelings.
I thought the 2am guy you would get up and drive to work was just a friend, but here you state you’ve been on and off with him for 18 months lol?
I knew it was that toxic guy and she gets up 6a-7a for work and is driving him 2a. He probably didn't even appreciate it.
She always refers to guys as "friends"; I have a friend who always does this and it's nearly always code for guys she hooks up with etc.
I think it's Xavier
Imo it’s super insensitive to air his laundry on the internet for your own validation. Get a therapist. This is like...the opposite of having someone’s back. Why would you (knowing he’s apparently having a rough time which is none of our business bc he’s not the one putting this information on the internet, you are) tell him something bad someone else said about him? This channel has gotten to the point that you’re using it in lieu of therapy and speaking about others and it’s straight up not cool.
Honestly I was appalled at what I heard esp since she goes on Zachary Michael's videos trashing Amberlynn Reid for her crappy behavior but then is on here doing this herself
Stephanie Ann when did this happen?
@@danigotch123 lots of times I've seen her on several Livestream one in Feb 2019 and also Oct 2019. She's in there other times as well commenting and he always makes sure to respond in the Livestream to her comments
yuuppp so true. self medicating .....taking herself off meds....up down...i honestly dont think her subscribers are here for this. Her attitude she adopts about dating................is bizarre all considered.
You teach people how to treat you. Think about what you're teaching those men.
exactly.
She blocked him on social media after he tried to have 2 girlfriends. What more was she supposed to do? It was a bad dating experience- she did the right thing.
Kandy why are you doing this to yourself leave the dating alone work on you and your mental health before you start dating your just focusing on someone else thats why these men aren't working out
Can l ask you Kandy..... does Roger mind you speaking about his affairs on your UA-cam channel? I often wondered. Please don't be offended. I'm just thinking of Roger here and you know l always love you 💋💋
Was the man insulting about Roger's size?? Because if he was perhaps your reaction was partially self defensive? I know if someone around me insulted someone fat I would be thinking "Is that what they think of me?"
Definitely, because if she genuinely cared about Rodger, she wouldn't have told him or be speaking about him on here... She gives off grandiose tendencies.
Hi Kandy, love your video's! Just my opinion, an old lady that's been married for 38 years, I wouldn't recommend dating a 25 year old, the maturity level is so different! Maybe take more time getting to really know someone before having them come to your home, or you going to their's. The world is a scary place and you need to be more cautious, you never know what someone is capable of! Be careful girl!!!!
Inviting any man you just start dating into your home is MOVING TO FAST! Early dates are for movies, mini golf, dinners, coffee, bike rides, the zoo not your personal space sends a message that you want INTAMACY. So date in a public place until you know the person better. Otherwise he thinks he has to but forth zero effort that your a cheap date and that you want some . Get dressed in all those clothes you have and go on a real date. I think you are expecting much from a situation you are creating.
I think it is really unfair of you to expect others to make you the "one and only" when you're so codependent on Roger you're still getting mail there. Did you change your address to correct that? Even if you own a house you don't have to continue receiving mail there. I'd say therapy before dating
You know, Kandy, I probably told this story before, but when I was truly in love with someone and I learned very quickly he did NOT love me, I HAD to force myself to stay away from him and let him go. It was VERY hard to stop wanting to visit him, find some dumb reason to drop by, but I had to do it. You need to make a promise to yourself to let Roger be on his own for at least a year. Either that OR admit you do love him, do want to be married to him despite the shortcomings of the relationship. Because most of us don't get the perfection we dreamed we would had- it's an evolution. If moving on will bring you closer to the relationship you want, I will give a little prayer for you because YOU DESERVE IT!!
I love your dating stories 😂💕
Me too 😂 honestly this dude sounds like he has some serious mommy issues
22:38 NO. JUST NO. That would make me SUPER uncomfortable. And then the crying too? Girl, I got enough emotional baggage all on my own thanksssss
Janai ~ CruciaRising hahaha me too
Yeah..... young people these days. I would not date a younger man
It's called loyalties, I'm the same with family and friends...everyone needs someone in their corner..I say KUDOS to you.
I remember when you said that 2 am guy was just a friend 🤣
Yeah I knew he was the toxic relationship
In no way should anyone ever burden a child by asking them "Who's going to take care of me when I'm older.?"
‘Burden a child’? Is that what it’s called? Taking care of your parents that took care of you and raised you is a burden? Shame on you.
AmericanGirl4Life it’s called emotional blackmail, and she is not the child’s parent. Shame on you!
AmericanGirl4Life When we are talking about a 4 year old, it is an unnecessary thing to discuss. Many of the things we do or say stick with children, there’s no need to put adult worries in their mind so young.
@@Em09221 I'd say maybe when they're 30.
When you're online dating do you have full body pictures up? When I was on Pof and Tinder ( both brutal) I had to put a full body pic up so they weren't shocked when meeting me in person.
this is my favorite video of yours. i love your dating adventures lol!
The way you put on your eyeliner gets me everytime 😂
Do you love Roger down deep, enough to be a couple again? Maybe you have both improved enough to make it a happy thing now, able to lean on each other, help each other? Why give up on someone you know well and whom you love already? It's more of a gamble to meet a stranger and try to start a relationship. Too many freaks, too many abusers, background baggage. Go with who you know.💞
I absolutely love your videos. You have the best personality and a great story teller
I’m not saying you should date a loser, but I do think you should be realistic when considering faults in others. Ok someone has unpaid debt.. I know that’s an issue but it isn’t necessarily one that would have to effect you. And let’s be honest, you have plenty of things that could turn people away.. you obviously have a huge weight problem, you’re still extremely attached to your ex, there’s a lot. And that’s ok. Nobody is perfect. But this is something I remind myself all the time.. I’m not a 10, so it’s not realistic or fair for me to catch a 10. This motivates me to better myself. If I want a man who is financially independent, I am going to make sure I can say the same. If I want a man who isn’t involved with an ex, I’ll make sure I can say the same. Etc etc.
True. But, as she IS financially independent/stable, she has the right to expect the same from a potential partner. As she explained :) and as you said yourself. She didn't criticise his weight or even his red flags regarding women.
So she obliged to your rules :) or let's say the common sense rules of dating. I think we all agree with u on that!
Lina Mahko I don’t think of it as rules. And I don’t think it’s always tit for tat. I think sometimes we have different faults than those we may date. Not about lining up and having every fault the same, he’ll that would probably be a recipe for disaster
I’m so hear for the dating stories!!! 🍿 thank you for sharing, I’ve been on some crazy ones myself.
You and brit have the same adorable laugh 😂 love you and wishing nothing but the best for you and everyone you care about!💓
i laughed and laughed when you kept talking while we were "looking out the window" 😅
I really like the makeup you did for work! That eyeshadow looks great on you 😁
Keep your head high!! You’re strong and a beautiful!! ❤️
Also I been bumping to the kpop in the background at the korean bbq place you were at!
“I hate sleeping next to someone who touches me while I’m sleeping” LOL MOOD!!! I’m married and my husband is a cuddler. I’m always like “gtfo me you space heater!” 😂
Sad for you husband
Oh girl, I needed this, the dating scene is Rancid 🤢 lol.
Going through my own break up with my fiancé of 4 years and have been experiencing he on again off again for 9 months. So I definitely needed this 🙌🏻.
Kandy spillin ALL the tea
I am also deficient on Vitamin D. I buy the gummy supplements and take two everyday. What a difference it has made for my anxiety and depression. I am like a new person.
Any particular brand you recommend?
@@sbg1911 I just buy the ones at wal-mart that are about 8 bucks for a good size container. They all do the same thing. 😊
Kathy Terrell thanks for the info. I take a K2 D3 combo but it’s expensive.
@@gwendolyncampbell7932 my Doctor suggested a gummy vitamin rather than stinky large pills to swallow and I am quite happy with the gummies! I was concerned they wouldn't work but I must say I am certainly a new person!
I really love watching you videos!!!
I'm very like... "on the internet" 😂😂 love it
Kandy, trust your instincts!
You are doing fine!!
What car did you buy?
Love your channel!!
I agree your boss shouldn’t had told u . Bc now it messed up your day . I love that you gave back even though y’all are not together like that . Love 💕 your honesty
It's normal to feel loyalty to someone you love. I think you're a good person who cares deeply for family & friends. ❤💙💖💚
Kandy, kandy, kandy .. I absolutely love u girl. So many people commenting about what u should or shouldn’t do but honestly I get where your coming from. I know how hard it can be to let someone go, I think you an roger should try again, if not then just close that door. What helps me is reading. I started reading again and like you I take depression meds too. They help a bunch. This is what is helping me is I read a book a month, I make a day a week for just me an my mental health, I make a day a month for me an my best friend. Just have u time and enjoy u .... then mr wonderful will come along.
Yay a vlog!! Something to keep me busy at work 😂😂
Just because we aren't with them doesn't mean there isn't love still there. You were married to him, you are a mamma bear, a protector. It's sad someone always gotta talk shit. Your a wonderful person. Don't be hard on your self.
I quit the dating sites like a year ago and its nice not dealing with the madness lol. Love you so much
Kandy I will be praying for you. Nice video
A lot of people are against online dating, yes you need to be careful. But I have had good experiences. I met my fiancé on a online dating site, we have been together for 4 years.
I'm definitely the same way as you, uncomfortable when someone is too attentive or complementary. I feel like not a lot of people talk about that!
Omg! I can so relate to you, this struggle to meet someone , I love to hear your stories, i was laughing and saw myself in similar situation 😅 and I like that you set your standards! You will meet the right one, i would say..this year i april. Thats my prediction 🥰
When I lived in the PNW, that first year I came down with SAD. What I discovered that made me feel better, was painting my room a bright color, and opening my blinds all the way!! I was SHOCKED at how much my brightly painted room, pretty curtains, and open blinds made me feel so much better!! Just sayin....
I did not know you had bypass. When did you have it done? Does it really help?
8 months later this is still so fucking entertaining and funny
Glad your feeling better!!!! Take care and be careful!! There’s a lot of idiots out there.. hugs. 💕
life is hard and wonderful and tricky and safe etc. your self introspection is impressive...keep trying, stay open, protect your soul..and never lose site of your good friend Brittany! ;-)
It's so nice to listen and watch your halls
Congrats Kandy, 3 years already.👍💜😊
Yeah. U r back!!!!
lol, I've never stayed awake during any Star Wars movie. usually pass out during a loud action scene, too.
I fucking DIIIIIED when the camera slid, your commentary was superb, holy shit 😂😂😂
You had that reaction because you said he is your best friend. We react that way about whoever we care about; no big deal. It doesn't need to mean anything more than that, or does it?
After two recent nightmare dating experiences, I am now off of all dating apps. I would like to meet someone IRL. 💕
We’re is your seatbelt..?☝🏼
Lmaooooo the story of this guy 😂😂😂 he started to cry 😭
😂😬
Those dating apps are a nightmare! I'm so glad I'm married now lol. Maybe I'll do a video about my online dating experiences.
I still love & care about my ex husband. He got a new wife and had 3 more kids. Be easier when roger meets someone else, then you will know that he is being taken care of, then you can step back💗
it's disheartening to see all the comments that are so negative towards kandy. i don't think she needs strangers on the internet to tell her she has unhealthy dating habits. she acknowledged them in her video, but she's also a grown ass woman ?? there's a huge difference in constructive criticism but damn, y'all are just shitting all over her.
kandy, i'm so glad you're feeling well again and i hope you haven't let so many of these comments get in your head. i promise you that there are people who are on your side and hate to see you going through such a hard time. i hope the coming weeks are better and more joyful for you !!!
I just love you!!❤
I was so happy when I saw your video notification in my inbox...I've missed your videos and I'm glad you're back. I understand how life gets in the way of things though. It seems like the start of 2020 has been rough for a lot of people, me included. I'm hoping now that January is over that the next 11 months will go smoothly. So as we go into February I'm glad you are feeling energetic again and we'll keep our fingers crossed 🤞that you keep feeling good throughout the rest of the year. I am out of the hospital and hoping the same for myself, hahaha. Thanks for the video! 😊✌👍😸
Oh goshhh! That’s why I’m scared on going to dating apps 😂
I'm sorry Kandy, but he's way too young. He is still a boy. He has only one thing on his mind sweetie, and you should definitely think twice before you invite a stranger into your home. I don't know what you were thinking. I would stay off those dating sites if I were you. Please use your best judgement before you agree to meet these boys with mommy issues.
a million times thiiiiiiiis. I'm her age, been with someone a decade younger than me over 3 years, and it's HARD. really hard.
Really the boss is gossiping?
Stephanie Ann...exactly! I'm thinking...how old is this so called man? But Kandy feeling the need to tell Roger...just as sad. She knows what its like to be spoken badly about. He really didnt need to hear that.
@@xxkarbogxx it's a selfishness she did it for comfort and to confide in someone and honestly didn't take it into account how 1. It would make him feel and 2. The rebound effect it would set off him hearing she is sensitive and upset over him getting talked about, like she still has feelings or that's how he's gonna take it
A man that has financial troubles and is financially irresponsible is a big NO NO in my book too... I went out with a guy that said he didn’t pay his taxes... I had to say bye, bye to him. I think him telling you he has been at another girls house for the past two nights.. is a lie to get your attention or make you jealous! Sounds like you dodged a bullet girl!
You should never stop loving him or want the best for him you should never stop caring about him and not wanting to hear anything bad about him you know him on a personal basis you know his struggles and for someone to make a random comment that evidently was not a nice comment about him was not right and you should have been mad about that you defend your loved ones just like you defend yourself❤
My dear kandy,when we make our😗🌹 promise to each other ,we are told the two be come one. So even though we brake up,we are still connected. It take some time for are feeling to fade, this is normal.
A lot of good comments here but I will just add this... communication is SO important. What feels appropriate or inappropriate to you is not a universal truth. A man trying to kiss me on a second get together, and after being invited to my home, does not at all sound alarming TO ME. obviously for you, that was a hell no. He can’t know if you don’t tell him up front. The same with him talking while you sing to music. He may have thought it was rude of you to sing the whole time when he felt it was a time to converse and get to know each other. Neither of you would be wrong, it’s just a matter of communication. You seem to let people do whatever and then you find them annoying. Just be up front about what you expect and what you want. But also consider some compromise. You have to bend a little. I don’t mean on physical boundaries but on things like talking when you want to sing. Like it’s not a big deal. If you expect someone to fit exactly into the puzzle you’ve set up for them, it will never happen
Yeah i would never invite a strange guy to my house always do the dates in a crowed public place or even bring a close friend with u to sit near by..
Omg Kandy! Online dating is the worst! Your stories sound as horrible as mine! Your not alone. Lol 🤣🤣 It’s so hard to find a nice caring good guy. I’m not a bar person, so it’s hard to find someone. I struggle with anxiety and seasonal depression too. Glad your feeling better. I take 5000 iu of Vitamin D3 in the winter, living in MN we have hardly any sun all winter. If you ever need to talk or anything, feel free to message me. Love your vlogs! 😊❤️🥰
Just to add in, when I do online dating, I only meet out in a public place for a few dates first. Gotta make sure the guy is ok & not a weirdo. Slow those dates down is best I feel. Otherwise the guys get the wrong opinion. 😕
Looking great sweetie 💛
I feel your pain. I’ve have met some winners too
Love this dating blog, it gave some insight on your personal life. As you can see, everyone has an opinion, but do you, boo. I'm not a fan of dating sites, but when you're an overweight middle age woman, the selection of men are slim. Sounds like you are meeting a handful on narcissist that are emotionally unstable. But, you're noticing the red flags, and kicking them to the curb once you notice it. A piece of advice, WAIT at few weeks before bringing a strange man over.. it's for safety reasons of course. Stay positive. And continue to love yourself.
Why do you people bother to ask questions or make comments to Kandy? She does not answer anyone.
Can't imagine why
Kandy used to comment regularly , but that was when her channel was in its infancy . Look at the amount of comments she gets now , she can’t possibly reply to everybody anymore🤷♀️❗️
11:54.... when you already know that Brittany is in this part by your laugh
It’s not bad to care and worry about other people. Infact, it’s normal! You standing up for someone you care about is a normal reaction. Why would you want to change that about yourself?
What ppl need to understand is you and roger r still best friends!!! Gurl you have a right to stick up for your best friend even if u use to be married!!! Nothing wrong with that at all!!!
She's listening to a bunch of narcissistic Twitter weirdos. She needs stop trying to fit in and just follow her heart.
I dated a guy for months and never invited him over...lol i knew once i invited him he would be grabbing and kissing. Nope! He really wanted to come in and i felt pressured so i broke it off.
What kind of car did u get
It won't matter if you say that you need to step back.it won't work.been there done that.its how it is.plus he is going to go to you for help.cause he knows you will be there for him..and about moving on with a new relationship sorry my girl but it is not going to happen.not trying to be negative.but trust me I know what am saying.and yes keep going to therapy.it helps.i wish you all the best.bt like I said you have come a long way.keep it u.
I’m fiber deficient , so I feel ya girl
It’s reallly odd that you would stop talking to this guy 23:00 but you spent all that time with Xavier lol so so so ODD
❤️❤️
Projection, because you don't want people to talk that way about you, also, drama, you you tube folks seem thrive on it!
I feel sometimes that you care more about Rogers wellbeing than he does, he is after all a person in his own right. From what you've said in the past your 'role' with his was not so much as a wife but more of someone that you took care of. Basically you feel sorry for him because you left and you left because you were in an unsatisfying sexless marriage that was all about two people supporting each others ways rather than encouraging grow and change in each other. Roger for you represents a safe zone, but your starting to view your life with him with rose tinted glasses. Roger needs to live his life too, why is he not in a new relationship? It's your life and you've made great personal progress since you left him but your own self worth won't allow you to accept that there could be an amazing relationship out there for you. You said last year that you need to become completely independent from him, so go ahead and stick to that
Bee Bee I think she likes having Roger hanging around for some sort of attention?. Also I don’t think roger is motivated because of his size. Sometimes bigger people have low self esteem and that could be why he’s unmotivated and hasn’t dated. Also does Roger work? I have a feeling he doesn’t and she feels like he’s depending on her for a home which is why she hasn’t sold that house. Who knows 🤷🏻♀️
@@kezzz1137 no Roger lost his job but let's face it, his obesity is something he could do something about and I'm not sure he does lack confidence but he does lack motivation by the sounds of it. I'm not sure what to make of the whole dynamic of her and Brittany's friendship or her friendship with Roger. I feel like she can be very defensive with people, ie the new boyfriend at Christmas and I feel her and Brittney support each others lifestyle, because to maintain her weight she must consume X amount of calories and that isn't a bitchy comment it's a fact and in Brittney and Roger she has two people who do likewise. She's not happy obviously so what's stopping her changing things around? Simply nothing.... Why is she house sharing at her age? She works full time and she gets money from UA-cam too
So ru still separated/married but dating ??
I think everything about dating has already been said. Please don’t let all the comments get you down some really sound like they come from a place of care. Dating is hard and it sucks for sure but i hope you’ll find a guy with all the values you’re looking for. I just wanted to say that THAT MASCARA you used IS LIFE!! What is it? Xx
I'm done dating. I keep meeting men who are not emotionally available or too emotional and unbeknownst to them manipulative in turn. Or maybe they do know. I'm 30 and I've accepted I'll never find love.
I hope you find what you're looking for and learn from your experiences.
Get a happy light!!!
I know this is an old video but I wish you would have put a comment on his relationship status saying “why were you at my house yesterday meeting my friends then?” 🤣 I would have been petty like that 🤣
Hey. Just realized that you don't have your seat belt! Don't want you to get hurt. Your ex was a part of your life. It's hard to let go. Just give him space. Counseling is good.
I'm so sick of hearing people say they need to be all for themselves before others. NO, you need to care about others and help others. Especially the ones that need you and love you. This self-centered, narcissistic bullshit needs to stop. If you love someone then help them and support them. End of story. Your loyalty is admirable. Anyway, you might want to try reusable tacky putty to hold your camera in place. It's in the craft section at Walmart. It's called fun tack or something like that. It won't cause damage.
Did she get gastric bypass? Where have I been..? Under a rock apparently😩
Angela Nagy years ago she did - prior to UA-cam
R no he should of kept it to himself if hes a friend .good you still care about him it must of hurt you .take care .debbie x