The Danger of Fearing Death | Richard Holm | TEDxBrookings
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- Опубліковано 11 жов 2024
- After a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, Dr. Rick Holm faces the significant possibility of his own impending death. An internal medicine medical doctor for 39 years with a special interest in care of the elderly, Dr. Holm brings a physician perspective to cancer diagnosis. In this emotional and authentic talk, Rick encourages a life fully-lived instead of fearing death. Richard P. Holm MD is 68 and an internist who has taught medicine for three years at Emory U. School of Med. In Atlanta, practiced outpatient, inpatient, ER medicine in Brookings for 35 years. Now semi-retired, he is a Professor of Clinical Medicine for the USD, Sanford School of Medicine, an Adjunct Professor in Journalism at SDSU, prior Chief of Staff of Brookings Health System, Governor of the SD Chapter of the American College of Physicians, and President of the SD State Medical Association.
Rick was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer October 1st 2016, and has had full treatment with chemotherapy, radiation, and in May, the Whipple surgery to remove the cancer. It is said that he now has about a 50% chance of cure, and he is pleased with that. He has enjoyed for 25 years a local weekly ½ hour AM radio show and for 15 years, a SD Public Broadcasting, one hour, live, prime-time, call-in, medical, TV show. He is working on a second book. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Fear of death makes you want to survive and not live
This is the absolute truth !! I have lived in fear of death for so long I can't go a day without thinking I'm dying of something ..it has stolen years of my life I have become a sad impression of my former self 💔 it's time to live again please pray for me 🙏 God bless you
Laura Beldin hang in there. I hope things change for the better
Laura Beldin I will pray for you. I struggle from the same.. I love you. 😘 death is easy.. living is hard. You are gonna be fine. And when the day long away in the future comes.. you will still be ok and loved peace stillness joy
Will engulf you on your quick trip into the next dimension. Hugs! All is well. Always keep faith and hope.
Not me. Accepting death takes away any purpose in my life. I'm just going to die so this whole life is just a waste.
@@KatelynMrsBamaIngle thank you sweetie 💛💙💚
I’m 15 and I’ve never been so scared of anything every night I think of It I become so scared I wanna just stay in the light not the dark
Wolfy _ I feel you bro
Wolfy _ I’ve had the same exaggerated fear of death since I was your age. I’m now 58 years old and as I get closer to death, my terror becomes more crippling. I’ve been in therapy many times, to no avail. This is no way to go through life. Someone once said to me ... ‘Your obsession with death is so severe, it’s as though you’re already dead.’ That was tough to hear, but it was true. I try to remind myself of that comment, and when my fear becomes overwhelming, I focus on doing something I enjoy, and spend less time focused on that which I can do absolutely nothing about. I hope you find a coping mechanism that allows you to enjoy your life to the fullest.
Fear of the unknown is the thing that frightens us more then the thing we fear. Research death Wolfy. Learn about it, there are tons of books on the subject, and people who have had near death experiences. Those who have gone beyond and returned will enlighten you. They say it’s not dark but light, a very loving experience. Their are people who spend time with the dying (hospice) and observe the dying transitioning from this realm to the next as a new beginning, not an end, and those who pass on do it joyfully.
@Wolfy _ dont waste time thinking about the inevitable death. I know it sucks knowing that u cant stop it from happening. You 15, enjoy ur life while u still young
I never really feared death until I had my first panic attakc 11 years ago. I was totally convinced that I was having a heart attack. My fear then became crippling for many years. I'm much better now, by accepting that death is inevitable. I think it's not the fear of death so much, but the process of it (painful, scary...). Wishing you all well. There is a video on my channel about fear of death, and my experiences of it.
I fear the fact that I won’t be conscious,& won’t be able to see ,feel ,hear ,how is my family going to be how are they going to cope
You might not be able to see or hear it in real time but I bet you can imagine their reactions or even just ask them right now.
You will be totally non-existent, unconscious with nothing! You won't know that you care about anything because you won't.
D.J. But what is that? You can say that there’s nothing after death but what does nothing exactly mean?
just imagine how it was like before you were born. That is what death will be like. You won't care.
@@backflipbro790 Maybe
Relating to the most of the comment section... Since 13/14, as a 16 yr old now, I fear going to bed as it’s the time I’m alone, in a silent room in the dark, slipping into a whirlpool of overthinking death and getting panic attacks over it, crying. Knowing so many other people are experiencing the same thing is relieving and comforting in a way. So if your reading this I hope I’ve helped you to see that your not alone.
How are u doing now?
same here. Im almost 15 and i feel the exact same. this feeling is just constantly there and I really dunno how to get over it. but thank u and I hope u r feeling better
There are a lot of people that know there is no such thing as death. Look up books on out of body experiences and near death experiences.
17 yrs old and all the time I have panic attacks of the fear of death
Find the book HANDS OF LIGHT written by the physicist Barbara Brennan. In this book are a lot of diagrams/pictures of what we all look like as eternal holograms and eternal electrical energy fields. You can't die because you are constantly being created.
Sometimes i have such bad anxiety about death that I think to myself "I could just end it now so that I don't have to suffer with these thoughts" and It's just the most ironic thing ever
Not the answer. Idk if you're a believer of God and Christ but let me tell you! I struggle with it almost daily. Well May 30 2020 my grandma who I was so close to passed. I was there but God prepared me bc months before that I was consumed with the thought and at here passing it handled it like a new man. Hopefully you'll find peace in comfort
Feel u
mee too
@@rmoises8 one was never born and one never dies
Wow I think the same thing
I've never been able to cope with death, I always watch videos and read articles trying to help you to help but i doesnt work. I just end up terrified and feeling more alone than ever. I always try and appreciate everything around me, I stop and appreciate. I breathe in and try and forget it for the time being. Until the next night comes
me too :(
@@significantpepper5274 Although life can be indefinitely extended with theoretical life extension technologies, one cannot last for eternity due the possibility of death, even in an "immortal" and deathless state, is non-zero.Death is still inevitable, but at least life will persist much longer.
Nights are the hardest
@@significantpepper5274 What's the title?
Same
I don’t fear death. I fear “ what’s after” . Do we really go to sleep and stay in Gods memory until resurrection happens, do we become something amazing after death, do we just die and that’s it. Every body has a different opinion, which one is the real one? If God created us, and he gave us air to breath and people to love why let us die? There has to be something more than this! Right? Am I ever going to see my family again? That’s my fear. The “this is it” I’m dying and that’s it , fear.
We will see when we die, no one in entire human history could answer this question and no one is gonna answer, so why care about something we don't know at all. Oh and every opinion is right and at the same time absolutely wrong
VILKAS ♥️
i can relate to this in many ways and i can’t do anything about it i’ve been struggling this whole week worse than others and i can’t stop crying this comment exactly is also how i feel i’m scared of what’s after i’m scared to never ever see my family and people i care about i wish i had someone to talk about but i don’t because no one knows exactly how i feel and i struggle talking about it because i start crying right away this fear is unexplainable and i just start shaking and panicking i don’t know how to calm myself down 😔
@@vale-jt9yd oh dude same this is literally one of my greatest sources of anxiety i literally remember having a mental breakdown and crying about this when i was 4 and recently it's starting plaguing my mind again :(
vale same
I’m not scared if dieing or the process of dieing, I’m scared because I know that I will never see my family again, my entire existence will eventually not even exist, I will have no more emotions, no more thoughts, no more joy and everything I have ever done, no matter how big or how small, will be pointless.
But I know that I have been dead for an infinity before I was born, it didn’t affect me, maybe after I have died and another infinity has happened, I will be reborn. Or maybe I will go to heaven. Maybe I will just die but I will have no sadness or fear and my family will live on through name.
I am scared of death but I have to remember that I don’t know what happens and I am only scared of my own predictions, which in itself, if pointless.
Same
Ever heard of the loop theory? It's the idea that universe comes into existence then dies over and over again so it may be possible that your consciousness may be reborn after an "infinity" which, outside the constraints of perspective time, may be an instantaneous moment
Our mind is our own worst nightmares
Hey look at the works of Dr. Bruce Greyson...he makes you look at death with a different perspective...and he is a skeptic too.
me too
I’m struggling with this right now. Afraid of dying in my sleep. I’ve wasted so much time thinking about death and the unknown. Why do we have to die? This guy was so strong to get up and talk about this. I’m so ashamed and guilty. Crying typing this. I’ve wasted so much time. Be strong everyone
You're still alive right? So, go ahead do what you want to do as long as it's not illegal and won't deprive anyone of their freedom to do the same.
Thank you so much
its even worse when you are going through this after losing a loved one (my dog in my case)
Thank you so much bro
@@helmetongrass1893my dog has died & I am also experiencing it
What an a needed awareness: Not only death scares us but also robs us of the quality of what left of our life - super thought!
YES!!! 👍👍👍👍👍👍💙💙💛💛💜💜
I know it is robbing me of a quality of life, but I cannot stop the fear of illness and death.
My thoughts exactly. I write on a lot of youtube videos the words that say there is no such thing as death. Proven by quantum physics a long time ago. We are eternal electrical energy fields and holograms. The book HANDS OF LIGHT written by the physicist Barbara Brennan says this.
Man died on March 22, 2020 hope he lived a good life
without a doubt, he did.
I never felt closer to a comment section before
I know, going to a comment section like this makes me feel better.
😂
The grim and absurd thing to have in common has made our sense of connection that much deeper.
Wow we're all scared of death. How surprising and wholesome. Never would expect a fragile mortal entity to wish it wasn't so... Squishy. We aren't even conscious, not really. This is an illusion.
@@jonathanreiman6700 , I don't understand. Can you explain please.
“Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.” - Marcus Aurelius
Not a real quote from Marcus Aurelius. The quote is from the film "Gladiator'.
I’m not scared of my own death, I’ve accepted that we are all going to die one day! But the thought of losing my parents and my little brothers is keeping me from living my life happily. Sometimes I can’t even sleep because of it
Honestly, I know it's coming. I felt I had a reasonable fear of death. Like I didn't want to do stuff that would kill me. But suddenly about a year ago it just has messed with me. And I'm like dude, I get it, it's scary. But every moment I spend scared is a moment of my life I won't get back.
Nehthelania Jackson this is me ur so right
Danielle, I relate 100 percent. For 2 years I have spent every moment scared, and I cannot stop it. I know i cannot get those moments back, but I am still scared every moment of the day. It is exhausting and ruining my life.
Get therapy for the fear. Or some kind of counciling or guidence. Every moment you spend fearing death could be taking days off your life too! It's important to embrace it and not fear it and to enjoying life while you have it. Because it's GOING to happen, it's pointless to constantly think about it.
It's a problem fearing death but it's compounded by depression and a complete lack of meaning in life. Sometimes being a deep thinker or even just being intelligent works against you. Then one could also argue people that fear death and are disillusioned with life just simply see things fir what they are i.e life is suffering and horrible...others run and hide and just don't see things fir how they actually are...those are the lucky ones
been dealing with death anxiety since I was 14. I don't know how to deal with it
Thats everyone
You are going to die one day all you can do is live in the moment and have fun tell anyone you love you love them over and over again
David Taylor I lost my father when I was 5. I’m 50 now. I’ve had 45 years of it. All it has done is make me angry and probably shorten what life I have left. We were all dead once...before we were born we knew nothing.. we were in a state of “death” . All I can say is the living are the ones who will suffer without you. Take time to love them .. tell them.. have no regrets and when that times comes .. don’t fear what you have already done
greenlantern1123 im afraid of thinking that one day i will be in a hospital breathing my last breaths
Guen Patiag is it bad I started crying while reading your comment
such a beautiful talk, I really felt it...and that snoopy dance was amazing
Snoopy dance is necessary in life
Sad that he passed away.
I am struggling with this now. I've had a fear of death since I was a small child.
And when I was diagnosed with SLE at age 15 my fear increased.
So here I am, getting older & older.....and my fear of death persists. I've wasted so much time fearing death!!
Same here I feel you
@SP7 Playz Systemic Lupus Erythematosus.
Dancing Delilah, same here.
have you heard of quantum immortality? stop being afraid and chill, you aint dying in your own frame of reference atleast
My condolences to Dr. Holm’s family on his passing. His words and life are a constant source of inspiration to me and help me navigate the dark waters of uncertainty.
What day did he go meet the Lord
@@robertclarke7411 March 16th 2020, he is my dad.
RIP Dr. Rick Holm, I hope to meet you on the other side when my time comes.
People who fear it should get over it, no matter how afraid you are it’s gonna happen one day and there’s nothing you can do about it
Thanks, Captain Obvious lol
@@tracysimon7972 It’s not obvious if people still fear it
@@Memorial24 because "getting over it" isn't that easy. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here talking about the fear.
@@tracysimon7972 Well there’s no other way to deal with it so that’s the only useful piece of advice
@@Memorial24 hence the Captain Obvious comment.
My fear is when I die all memories are lost and no one remember me then million billon years pass by and a lot change but I can’t experience it I can’t describe what I’m thinking but it scary af. when I was born until now it felt as if a day past by so I’m scared of how short life is and I talk to much don’t i period the end.
Sharky op36 dude I feel ya, if it’s mentioned say in school, I’m not bothered, but when I’m alone and I think of it, it really really scares me, there’s no words to describe it. I’m thinking when I get to that point il for a happy person though
same man, any luck dealing with it?
@@petervannini1232 homie just think about going out on top and like being happy with what you’ve done and don’t worry about it cause there’s no point
SAME.
Same
I want to die to get it over with but I want to live forever and do everything
Aging has been reversed in mice not long ago... it may happen to us within our lifetimes
I don’t want to live forever it will be a nightmare
@@mism847 we just gotta find out
Download tik tok
Loved this. Very well said. Savor every moment. You will never get back any minute, second that passes. Definitely stay GRATEFUL. Loved this talk. Praying for this mans health and family.
Loved the talk too and the positive message. Unfortunately, he passed away.
Thank you brother and God Bless you and your family....Amen
I fear what I'm going to miss after I die. My grandmother passed five years ago and I'm always thinking about what she's missed and how much joy the things that's happened would've brought her. And I know it will be the same for me. I'll never know what happens after I'm gone and that scares me. I wont remember anything about my life, I'll be erased from existence, so does anything I do really matter?
But then I remember the impact my grandmother had on me, the love and caring she showered me with. And I think that hopefully, one day, when I'm resting five feet underground, someone will think remember me with the same fondness. And for that to ever happen, I have to be like my grandmother; kind, gentle and courageous.
If we were somehow able to live forever, would we really care about living? Maybe, in a poetic way, we need death to truly feel alive.
Damn,amazing comment, I try to think the same. It may not makes senses for us yet, but overall I can assure you it does, We just need to enjoy these little moments,cherished me and just wait and quietly spend the rest of our time on earth.
I just wanted to say this was a beautiful comment and very much how I feel, thank you for that :)
Rest in Peace Dr.Holmes .We might be stranger who does'nt know each other but we will surely return to the same universe and that makes all of us are related .
This was one of the most raw and beautiful yet sad ted talks that I have ever watched
I’m not scared of death I’m just scared of loosing my love ones like my mom, dad grandma and grandpa I feel like I wouldn’t be the same without them just knowing I’ll never see there face again or personality.
I do the same bro. :(
This is my issue it sucks!
Your loved ones will die too. No one loses anyone, just some ppl go ahead of others to the same spot
if I die tomorrow
don't feel sorrow
just let it go
and look at the stars
say goodbye
I like that.
Fearing death will not prevent it. That definitely hit different.
I knew about death when I was a child it was spoken about freely I have never been afraid of it I have seen many die mostly cancer but I believe there is something and hope that all of you find some peace x
What a courageous man. May the Lord give me the strength, compassion and dignity when it comes time for me to pass. In Christ's name. Amen.
Late nights and this is the only thing I think of. Makes me sick to my stomach and can’t sleep. Event more so the thought of loosing loved ones
What helps me is thinking of it as going to sleep forever and I love my sleep.
Without dreams and the remotest sense of existence, of course.
But I hate sleep...
But what about memories and loved ones
I was in operating table last year. That general anesthesia is good I almost dissapoibted that I woke up in recovery room. Now my stage 4 cancer might actually hurt me before it kills me.
Hmm, you're right. Maybe if I become satisfied with my life and make the best out of it, I will accept death later on?
I don't fear death. I fear the process.
Exactly, like what’s it going to be like moments before we die, and during the process of moving on in the afterlife.
@@CrispyChris699 I'm still not convinced there is an afterlife.
-Keith- _EA1381_ you should be, god and heaven are real, and he has a plan for you. He even has a place in heaven for you, and me!
@@ominous-omnipresent-they when you pass, you'll be in a infinite state of dreaming, you wont know because you cant
@@jakee3368 Firstly, let me apologize for the short story below. Despite the first paragraph being a direct response to your comment, the rest is meant for anyone who happens to stumble across it. Now, onwards!
I am sorry, but I'm simply not convinced, and I haven't been for a very long time now. There’s really nothing that you or anyone could ever say that I've already haven't heard multiple times already in my 38 years on Earth residing in the Bible Belt. Being raised in a predominantly Christian society in some rural county of Mississippi was everything but easy for me.
I couldn't have been no more than 12 years old when I began struggling with my beliefs. I literally had no one to turn to. There was no world wide web, no Dawkins, no atheist UA-camrs - just me, my insatiable curiosity, and my grandmother's outdated Encyclopedia set from the 1970s. Thankfully, elementary school was pleasant for me. Being in gifted class means I had full access to the class computers during recess as well as the plethora of children's scientific magazines of the time. High school, well, I'm not getting into that clusterfuck other than the fact that certain parents didn't enjoy it when their kids were actually learning.
It did not take long for me to realize that my questions were not favored by those around me. I was actually referred to as a demon by my very own aunt. Who was I to turn to when everyone around me was intellectually dishonest? I was likely an atheist before I ever knew there was a word for it. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't grateful for all of this.
I think I'm just in denial about death. Every time I think about writing my own will I feel sick to my stomach. (I'm literally only 14.) My parents discussing life insurance makes me feel anxious and depressed because it's kind of acknowledging that something terrible might happen to them one day :(
Im 14 too and i feel the same
I want to choose when to die. That one day I will be tired of life and not die when I still have so much to experience and observe.
How do you feel know
I’ve been dealing with Thanatophobia since very little, always thinking of what’s beyond first with curiosity but after entering puberty, it morphed into a fear of what will be after, what’ll happen to my memories, everything that I learned, my family, etc. The thought of dying and being forgotten has always haunted me, though now after doing some work on my own I’ve been able to control my sudden thoughts about death. It used to make me want to vomit, cry, scream, and cause me to have something similar to an anxiety attack. The fear of death isn’t about the process for me, it’s about everything that comes after, since even though it won’t be painful, the thought of losing everything I’ve worked so hard on always destroys me.
The thought of death has had me so scared for weeks now. I don’t fear the death part, but I fear what comes after. Not a day has gone by where the thought doesn’t cross my mind and it’s driving me crazy. I want to believe that we go to heaven, or we’re reincarnated, or even if life just repeats itself, but I know that the most logical and accurate answer is that we will probably never see any light ever again. I’ve heard the story’s of people who go to heaven and back, but I know that it’s probably a hallucination. I just can’t stand the thought of nothing for eternity. Can someone give me answers or just ease my mind?
Actually if it's nothingness then it's not even blackness because in order to process blackness you'd have to be alive and have a working conscious brain
Look at the works of Dr. Bruce Greyson it might help.
@@maulanwong3841 exactly. it’s impossible to imagine what nothingness is
For religious people like myself , its hard to be scared of death. We know whats on the other side and it gives me joy. Earth is the worst place to possibly be but its hard fot anyone who hasn't had a spiritual experience to understand
well, if we only start beeing awere once our nervous sistem was made, when we opened our lunges to breath for the first time (at least, is what we think, right?) then, after we take our very last breath, when our nervous sistem goes off forever, we'll never be able to know where, if, when, how and such after we die, so if we never gonna know, there is nothing to worry about it! our soul is, in a logically way, nothing less than the knowing that we are aware, not a thing that enters in your phisical body, but a party of the body it self that will die with it, so be cool, there isnt nothing to worry at all :))
is it wrong to desire to evade death? does this question even matter? am i being too greedy if i want to live forever young? probably. there's just too many novels i need to read; too many movies, shows, animes i need to watch; too many games i want to play; too many songs i need to listen to, dance to, and compose.
We would all love to live forever, but then what would be the purpose of life? I mean why bother even getting out of bed if tomorrow is always guaranteed?
@@madiannn i do believe in God and Jesus, but... even when we're not talking about them, i'm sure there is still a lot of meaningful things in the secular life.
Honestly I love life because we learn an grow but I don't love the pain and suffering we experience so living forever here on Earth doesn't sound fun lol I'd rather live a good long life and then spend eternity with my father God and son Jesus 🙏💛💚💙💜
People will make it seem that death gives life meaning. Well,if you torture and make someone miserable so they can appreciate life more,you are a monster. And the monster is the Reaper. Happiness *IS* meaning,and if immortality ever becomes a thing,i will become immortal in a heart beat.
I don't ever want to have immortality. Seeing all your loved ones die and when you have seen and done everything you can do in a 100 lifetime what'll be there to do next? Boredom and severe depression will take its toll and the worst thing is that you wont be able to die and escape from it.
I used to be terrified of Death. When I was eleven years old I stayed awake at night thinking about the universe and made the sudden realisation that one day, I was going to die and then be gone forever. Before that realisation I had a typical catholic mentality with regards to death and had never questioned an alternative to the afterlife. The thought of not breathing forever would make me feel claustrophobic and distressed. What made me realise how silly I was being was the realisation that before I was born I was essentially dead. The time before I was born was an eternity. Likewise the time after my death will be an eternity. I honestly dont recall being scared or suffering before I was born. There is nothing to lose. However I live my life as a decent person in the off chance that there is a benevolent creator awaiting me in the afterlife.
Good thinking :)
That's quite wonderful
Super wonderful
Emir Vural The pure nothingness scares me though, all I’ve ever known is life, living, beauty, the warmth, family, and existence. I can’t describe before I was born but I know I want life, and death the chance there no afterlife scares me. What’s the point of living if it pointless and only momentarily, why exist in such beauty if it won’t matter and it’ll be taken away. I feel like life might be a curse itself, forced to live, forced to die. Maybe life exists to keep evolving to not die but idk, being nothingness scares me as it won’t be me. And being alive is a miracle.
Ryan Read if you were dead and never knew life and were presented with a chance at life, would you take it? Im scared too but i think people like us are better suited because all it is is a let go. The hardest let go. Perhsps when you’re old like my grandma and see all your friends and lovers die you’re perspective ill change. Also kind of messed up but when i go through desth related anxiety i think of the kids who never got to see 20 years old. The kids abandoned by their mothers or too sick to grow up and think how unfortunate it would have been if it were me. A feeling of gratefulness washes over me until the next time i think about it.
Life is good when your young it’s the best period of our lives enjoy it
Not when you have been bullied since age 13 and depressed since age 15 and severely anxious since age 20.
But yes, I'm having the time of my life here as a 30 year old now.
Welllll….being young is a very hard time for many people.
What a brave man
That was so moving. Needed that tonight.
Truly truly beautiful. This helps.... so much.
The only two thoughts that help are:
1- Everyone succumbs to it. In that way I am not special.
2- If I bring enough hope and light to those around me, in time, my fear of death will become meaningless.
Rest in peace doctor.
How did UA-cam know this was happening.
I am still trying to settle with it.
I love my family so much
MEMENTO MORI
It takes time to get over a fear. You fear it first and then something has to happen to convince you it is not something to fear. until you're convinced there's nothing to fear, you will be afraid. You cannot talk yourself into being convinced, you must be convinced by something.
I’ve been dealing with fear of death since mid 30s i’m about to be 34 now & it gets worst I was never like this till a little after 33
Ha. Same. Just want to survive till my kids are adults at least and I need to be here for my wife. You get to late 30s and the end seems like it’s getting a lot closer than you want it to be. Hard not to think about it or worry about every ache and pain. And they’re starting to add up. I too look at it like I wasn’t here before and I shall just not be here again eventually.
same
I don’t fear leaving earth. I do fear leaving unjustly,violently,and or young. But no amount of worrying will reveal my future to me.
Rest in peace sir. Nice video
R.I.P Dr. Holm, I wish I could overcome my fear of death.
me too
Great video and great man. I will save this video for future rewatching. Thanks TED
I constantly worry about death, just the thought of not being able to breathe will throw me into a full blown panic attack im talking crying shaking and just a hopeless feeling and this will happen sometimes twice a day. I cant stand it not being able to enjoy what life i have left to enjoy.
Very beautiful speech. Thanks for sharing.
When you die, you go on another journey.
You get to find out where everyone else is.
Just remember, when you die, we will come with you.
And you’ll wait for us.
Nonsense
@@Sirjohnfootball😢
I don't wanna lose my family.. Especially my mom
A friend of mine died this year. Ever since then, I fear death more than ever. The thoughts in my head were like "she was only 16, that's too early". And no one expected it because she was very caring, bubbly and faithful to God. Then last month, my stepfathers, stepfather, auntie, and sister died. I try to cope by exercising but every night the fear haunts me. I hate it so much. I just always want to be in the day not the dark. And I use to look forward to sleeping but now I can't sleep well and I sometimes wake myself from sleep to make sure I'm alive. Wtf.
@@helmetongrass1893lies
This is my favorite tedx talk ♥️
I DON'T FEAR GOING TO SLEEP FOREVER
Or returning into a state of unconsciousness/non-existence
Me too. I dont know how it feels before I was born and I want to go back to that state when I die
RIP Dr Richard P Holm
He died???
@@allenic yes in march 2020 ,RIP
I have been panicking whenever I think about death ever since my grandfather died. I was his caregiver. The terrible fear of not knowing when or how you will die make me anxious about the time I have left on this earth. Moreover, the inability to control belittles me. I am still 22 but there are too many ways to die and death doesn't spare youths. I feel connected to all those people in this comment session.
If you didn't fear being born then you shouldn't fear dying.
If you don't fear going to sleep at night, then you shouldn't fear dying
The truth is no one dies.
We just transition, and it's a lot less eventful than you might think.
I know because I've died temporarily and have come back.
When I died an Asian looking woman grabbed my hand very gently and asked me to come with her.
She pulled my soul out of my body.
I had no weight. She looked at me and smiled 😊.
You have another body inside of your physical body. It's there right now. It doesn't come alive when you die. It's been alive the entire time.
I cannot avoid this feeling, I'm an observer, I like to admire and retain cool information and memories, I'm an overthinker so my life revolves around knowledge. The fear of death to me is losing everything I took into my core, losing opportunity to see new beautiful things, losing the ability to not constantly observe people, the earth, the universe, knowing one day I can't smell the ocean anymore or feel that fresh breeze coming through the forest, these are things I'd like to never lose or miss and why I would consider the possibility to live forever.
Knowing it not a possibility shocks me deep in my core with panic. But one things that comforts me is that, if you die, you will never know you felt like this, all this worries, all this dread, because it's opposite of living, it's the lack of senses, so might as well enjoy it and see this feeling you're having as a motivation to not focus so much on vain things or focus on what other might think, because in the end nihilism is real and you still have the ability to control your life at the moment.
Try some scary things you wanted to try, taste some weird things that pop up in the back of your head, hug some people, surround yourself with positive energy, show kindness more, protest your political beliefs (Hopefully beliefs that respect everyone) . Life might not have any meaning (as presented itself), but the way you live can always have an impact to others down the line.
This feeling might never dissappear, but your actions you do daily have a butterfly effect in the world regardless.
Regardless of the outcome in the end when the big time comes, everything will be OK because you know, I haven't seen a single person coming back complaining so I guess they are better off. 😜😉❤️
I live in cronic pain every day . At first you pray to get better then you pray for a night's sleep and now I am at the point I pray not to wake up .
I’m so sorry
Bless you xx
God bless you hope you fine now
I hope your Situation has changed
Sending prayers and God bless you.
This is beautiful. 💛💕
We've all experienced death before we were alive. That we can't recall it doesn't automatically make it scary.
Death and Dying College Course was my best course ever.
I fear death because you dont know whats gonna happen after death, and when you are in your deathbed or dying you know you cant do anything about it, and it will be the last moments of your life
What scares me the most is the thought of not having thought. What does it feel like to not feel anything? I believe that day these questions gets answered is the day our fears get lightened. Most people argue sleep is similar but I disagree, sleep is just another form of consciousness, our minds tirelessly work to give our body the rest it needs. That's a whole lot different to not having a physical body no? Can we even reach a point where we can fathom non-existence?
Lol... It doesn't work like that my friend.
Inside of your physical body is a whole other body. You can learn this through DEEP study of martial arts.
Martial Arts invokes a different consciousness than that of your daily mundane living experience.
Once you reach your inner body, you will no longer be concerned with this death topic because you'll understand that nothing conscious ever really dies. Including you.
Well, sleeping means being very much less conscious. In some sleep stadia we’re still pretty conscious, but in others we’re far away. Have you ever been under anaesthesia? Your body still works, but those are non-conscious processes. You’re simply not conscious.
I think that’s what death is like, and I’ve already been under anaesthesia, so I reckon I can do death. I get scared, at times, but it’s my general anxiety that’s doing that. I don’t think death is really a scary thing.
It’s literally like going to sleep it’s nothing to be afraid of
@@Memorial24 That's not the part that people are afraid of. People are afraid of what their friends and family are going to do in their immediate absence.
@@Memorial24 But is it? How would we know?
he is gone now. well his body is. but his conciousness is still out their somewhere. good converstion
Without his faith, this man would be as terrified and hopeless as those poor people who feared death up until the end. Listening to him talk he sounds very close to losing it, like his fear is just bellow a thin covering of religion...
I fear the unknown and the loss of consciousness even though I am a devout believer. Someone told that my faith was not strong, and maybe they were correct; but my fear of death remains even as it has decreased.
Perhaps these words will provide comfort... "Thou art My dominion and My dominion perisheth not; wherefore fearest thou thy perishing? Thou art My light and My light shall never be extinguished; why dost thou dread extinction? Thou art My glory and My glory fadeth not; thou art My robe and My robe shall never be outworn. Abide then in thy love for Me, that thou mayest find Me in the realm of glory." ~ Baha'u'llah, Baha'i Faith
i’m just scared of not being conscious. idk how to explain this, but i would rather sit in the dark all the time when i die, than not being conscious, i’m only 13 tho haha
:((
Bruh same im 15, I've seen all the people that say this are young or developed fear of death at a young age
I'm trying to get over this cause I can't take this anymore
I guess we fear it cause we're experiencing so much and have so much to live that the feeling of numbness and darkness feels scary
Maybe we haven't just lived enough
We'll get through this don't worry
I'm also 13, and I totally get what you mean!! I would rather be conscious and doing nothing - at least I would still be able to feel and think.
But if your older, your opinions of wanting to think or feel still, will change
I'm 19. I still have some fear of death, a little bit more than preferred, but I think it'll go away when I get older. Maybe there will be fear when I'm close to death, but I will likely get over it. It was way worse when I was younger, but there are several things I've learned:
If you spend your time being nice to others, giving to others, and basically strive towards making the world a better place, the death anxiety will be smaller because your death won't feel like the end. You will be more eager to accept it because you will care more about how other people around you are going to be, and it will feel less like losing everything, but more like just losing yourself while cherishing the memories of others and hoping those alive will have better lives
Face your fears head on. If you want to eradicate fears, you need to jump into it several times until it's gone. It's way harder with death, though, but with a lot of other fears, like spiders, it will pretty much reduce drastically if you are surrounded by them, or touch them, or just don't mind them to a decent degree.
Reach for your dreams and don't be afraid of taking chances. It will reduce your death anxiety when you face it, because you will regret less. What people usually regret is not doing things, not actually doing things.
And don't believe the fearmongering in the media. They've done it for years, and they still do it, and they almost always turn out to be wrong. Just learn about how power works, and it will make more sense.
And last thing, always research what you don't understand. When you do that, you will know more about life, usually live better and have less regrets. It will also reduce anxiety as a plus.
Hope it helps, cause it sure does help me! :)
If there is a god, I'm ready.
If there's no god, I'm ready.
I'll be fine when it's time.
I wish I could feel that way.
Mines not thinking about it every minute of everyday, because I have things to keep me busy during the day. It’s at night when there’s nothing stopping my mind and keeping my brain elsewhere that all the feelings and thoughts I didn’t feel through out the day that come flooding in.
I'm in the same position night time sucks
When I exist death does not, when death exists I do not......Greek Philosopher
And one doesn't exist without the other
How is this helpful? I'm trying to get over my fear of death. The more I feel accepting the less I care about anything in my life. It all becomes meaningless.
Sounds like deep depression, later you probably wouldn't care if you live or die.
cecile cavallaro been feeling like that for 2 weeks now idky
Been feeling like this for 2 years.
This is good for me.
Means I can let go of life a lot sooner than I expected.
I don’t want to live forever but 80 years is just to short there is too much to see too much to know too much to discover. And 80 years is not enough for me to experience all of that how am I gonna study all of science and learn all the languages if I only have 80 years and tbh more like 50 years. That is way too short of a time.
famous yogis vivekananda said conquering fear of death is a constant struggle until you realise and experience the oneness with god. it is a very important spiritual practice and during the practice it enriches our living daily.
I am scared of not existing.. i don't want to "not exist". I want to be with my mom and my friends. The thought of just not existing one day is terrifying to me and it's not letting me live. I am 17 now.. when I turned 16.. these thoughts started haunting me and it's making me crazy. I'm not able to function. It gets even worse when it's dark. I hate being alone as well. This is affecting me so much I hate it. I get panic attacks at night and even in the day and I cry, I don't want to die!
Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.
Wonderful emotional speech !! Thank you very much for sharing x
I was in a deep depression. Felt suicidal both wanting death but fearing it. Too scared to actually kill myself. It's a horrible state to be in. I believe all anxieties come from our fear of death .fear can paralyze us and it can Be hard to find path out of fear. it's like we are trapped in that part of our minds, like being in a maze. Sometimes we need a leg up to look over the walls of the maze to see the path out of the fear maze. I started intermittent fasting and taking a food supplement called lithium orotate not to be confused with lithium carbonate which needs to be prescribed by a psychiatrist. The lithium seems to dampen down my death anxiety it has given me the leg up to look over the fear maze wall. I'm aware of the fear maze but I can see the pathway out now. It's like the lithium orotate has created new or opened up neural pathways . I realize now that I don't have to stay in that fear maze. I take 1 5mg capsule in the morning and 1 5mg capsule in the evening. Please do your own research in lithium orotate. My mind does not dwell on that dark place anymore. A simple salt has given me my life back.
That's wonderful. I've used lithium orotate for years now. It's also given me back my life. I have several videos about it on my you tube channel.
I've never heard of it, but interested.
How long did it take for the lithium to start working?
Am I scared? Absolutely. I have panic attacks and existential crises all the time. But there are things we cannot control. There are many things we do not understand. And it's okay to accept that ultimately you cannot change that. When I had appendix surgery and was put under, there wasn't darkness or a void or anything. It was like a TV shut off and there was no memory until I woke up in a dazed state. I was, and then I wasn't. People often say they think that is what death is like. Somehow it comforts me when I think of that state, as horrifying it may sound to those who haven't gone through it. This is excluding religion and spirituality of course. I'm agnostic, so I'm not really sure what to expect, but if it's that same sensation of flicking off a switch, I would say it is a release from the suffering of this world and back into the state we originally came from.
Near Death Experiences could be a better option.
I like this
@Buzz Lightyear well I suffered from anxiety attacks and what not for the past 2 weeks......just think it this way today's society have shaped our mind in such a way that we as individuals give too much value to our existence (I can understand why) but actually we were made to carry on the species and give our genes to the population......when we are alive with consciousness we are not able to fathom the fact that we will have to go through an eternal sleep.....well that's not as bad as it sounds....If you compare that to sleep then yes you might be scared bc we wake up everyday from sleep...but in this case there's nothing on the other side.....but see it like this.....close your eyes for 1 sec.....and yes this is what death will feel like to you ......the matter that makes you survived 14 billion years in the universe without you even slightly affected by it.....so it's the same on the other side .....if you want to be calm then go and watch kurzgesagt's video on optimistic nihilism
So you are saying almost dying did you of fear ?
You calmed me down thank you ❣️
Thanks for sharing
I fear more that I will lose someone close to me and I will never get to see them again. After I die I will not have to go through that pain
I’m not scared of death, I’m scared of dying painfully, or loved ones dying, but death to me the last few years has seemed more like a mysterious adventure rather than something to be feared. I’m excited for when the time comes, where I go after this, what kind of freedoms does shedding this limited body afford? There was a big study on consciousness after clinical death that was fun to read, science still cannot observe human consciousness in a logical way, we know it exists but can’t yet observe someone’s experiences, only take their word for it. If particles can’t just blink out of existence, why on earth would we think we would after death?
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in the bones
4th stage to be blunt
I’ve been going strong for 17 months
When I asked the oncologist who’s treating me about my prognosis
He said I could have quite a few more years left
This was unheard of years ago
So yes medically we have come along way
Carpe Diem is my motto
How are you doing?
These truths are very real and important for folks to hear. take it from a loner so close to death who was so full of misery and fear i did all i could to make this whole world as sick and as miserable as i was. i'm so glad it is true if we hang on.. This too shall pass
I’m scared of not having a life at all it’s like going to sleep but it’s not because you wake up every time but when you die you never wake up I won’t see my family my friends I won’t feel anything and I just won’t here anymore idk what’s gonna happen to me.will I got to heaven,is their nothing on the other side.i can’t get over it😭
I have seen proof of "The other side" My father showed it on his last day. Time is linear while we inhabit our bodies, but it is not linear when we turn from a caterpillar into a butterfly. We think of loved ones that have passed away with sadness because we miss them, but they see time differently and welcome us when our time comes. It really is nothing to be afraid of. The thing that bothers me most about death is that my eventual passing is going to upset my loved ones still here.
I'm not afraid of it at all, nor should you be. I want to live a nice, long life and live many more years but at 54 I am over the halfway point as are most of my loved ones. We realize it, and enjoy life with each other more than ever. I love my Wife, Brothers, Sisters, Nieces, Nephews, Friends.... all that good stuff, but when my time comes I am ready. I am in no hurry, but I have no fear of it- nor should you. Mora, put a few more years under your belt and the anxiety will go away, you will understand it is nothing to fear at all.
Paul H thank you so much❤️
@@paulh7589 you did not see it. Your father saw it. You're father who is also another biological entity with his life's experiences.
I'm in a deep depression right now because of this. I'm absolutely terrified of dying cause I'll be gone forever. The mind isn't able to comprehend death, that's why it causes a lot of anxiety. One minute you're here and the next you're not. You won't even know you're dead. I lost a lot of family the last 6 years, sometimes I was able to push the thought out of my head but other times I was like omg I'm going to die someday. It's absolutely terrifying when you think too much about it.
This dude made me fear it more.
I have thought much about death. Many say that they fear the process of death not the concept. Many times people who die are not conscious at the time of their deaths. If not, it could be quick. It could be slow. If a person is slowly dying, death is a relief and to be welcomed by the sufferer. But at that often with a slow death, a person can prepare and are usually in the clouds. There are too many circumstances that can happen to sit there and panic about our own death. It does me no good. And no matter what happens, my body will return to the earth to keep life going. We are here for a small fraction of eternity. In time, almost everyone will be forgotten. Nobody will sit there fascinated by what all I did. My purpose in life is to make sure that I made the best of it and helped others do the same since we all share that fate.
I have cptsd, generalized anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, and death anxiety. (This since i was a little kid) 30 now and had over almost nearly 10 years of theraphy. Still have the anxiety issues and panick attacks who are debilitating. I am scared of death, and everything after. Scared there isn't anything after, or to reincarnate....i just want to be with my family❤ forever
Greatest fear shouldn’t be death . It should be not living fully. The fewer retreats one has when death is near will make the idea of death less tragic. My father was euphoric when the hospital discharged him for home. He Knew everything would be ok. It calmed all of us down.
Death is the only thing in life you cannot escape..
And taxes
Being scared of death is one thing that I fear but not as much as time going by and me not noticing and next thing I know I’m alr old. Just the fact the one day I’m just living and next thing I know it’s alr been 5 years that went by in a snap of a finger just terrifies me
“Fearing death causes death”
Welp, I’m screwed
The Daily Rage oop been fearing death for 2 weeks now idky it just happened now I can’t stop thinking about it
@@IVDestroyerzzVIJc *Mortality salience intensifies*
Sike me too
"Fear of losing sleep keeps u awake"
What research did he quote for that absurd claim?
Fear is a product of thought. Thoughts can be silenced by meditation. And then there can be peace
After I put my dog to sleep, I have thought a lot about death and my own mortality. I don't fear death per se, but I do fear the suffering. I find that the fact that I'm going to die at some point, is paralyzing me. I'm nearly 50. It's stopping me from starting anything new. What's the point of it if I'm going to die anyway and there will just be nothingness? I may as well do nothing. That's what I'm doing now. I work for my keep and when I'm done I just lie in bed, waiting to die. What baffles me is that although most people fear death, they still bring new people into the world, who are inevitably also going to fear death. Why not break this cycle altogether? Why would you do this kind of torture to a loved one? I didn't have kids, so thankfully I haven't subjected anyone to this terror.