This isn't easy but now I will share my trauma with you!
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- Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
- When we can't stop clinging to past experiences of trauma, and fears of future failure. When we can't stop chasing after dreams of success and accomplishment, we miss out on the only thing we truly possess or experience and that is the present moment.
Well I know this from personal experience and now it is time for me to share my experiences of regret and trauma. Because just like you up until this point I haven't become Buddha, and so I am still trapped in the ocean of suffering that is the mundane world.
Please keep making videos!!
Thank you for your encouragement ❤❤❤
@@ultimatemeaning also, you are helping me with your videos. So it wasn't too late. Thank you again.
We need not be heros, my good man. Sometimes, just existing in a system that wants you dead is already a revolutionary act.
Godspeed, sir.
Thanks friend ♥♥♥
I really needed that today.
My dear friend you did become a surgeon. Not a clinical surgeons from who we got a lot, no you became a surgeon for the soul. We only have few surgeons of the soul in this world. It's harder to become a surgeon of the soul it takes a longer time and needs more effort. You also have to possess a deep and natural insight in the matters of the soul to understand and work with this profession. Don't regret, you are what you wanted to become, only on a different and higher level. Therefor love and cherish your failures, they made you better then you ever could have been. Namasté dear friend and fellow soul.
This was a very powerful sharing. Sorry to use an over used phrase but it truly applies here, very brave 🙏🏻
In general it isn't easy putting oneself on the internet for everyone to see, especially when sharing your intimate feelings! ♥♥♥
This world does not need another good surgeon. This world needs more of these people who are not satisfied with lukewarm insights, who dare to walk the spiritual path with utmost passion and sincerity. And everyone who embarkes on such an insane journey will of course fall down again and again! It is exactly this point where dignity arises - having fallen down and gathering strength just to continue on, moment after moment.
I truely wish you can see yourself just one moment through the eyes of all people who appreciate you and owe you so much.
May you get in touch with the unconditional love and compassion that shine in the heart radiating on every sentient being - including youself. Because this is what you deserve.
Thank you J for your kind words. and thank you for spreading the truth of Bodhicitta ♥♥♥
✨Om mani pame hum✨
Thank you for resounding the dharma Julie 🙏🙏🙏
The most useful thing that any human being can do for the world and the beings in it is to know his/her own nature, which is the same nature of the world and everything else on it and outside of it. You are on that path, and thats already beautiful and of tremendous benefit to you and the rest of creation. The narrative and perspective that you shared here is not yours, is of your mind. It is your mind, but it is not your narrative. You are probably already consciously aware of this, but still there is clearly an unconscious attachment to that story floating inside you, soon it will be dissolved by the light of your consciousness.
I would like to thank you for choosing the higher path in this lifetime therefore benefiting your brothers and sisters more than any surgeon could. Thank you for choosing to listen to the voice of your heart amidst all others.
Sending love to you
Thanks so much my friend ♥♥♥
Braver than a thousand soldiers Lama Choga..thankyou for the reminder to be grateful for what we have..and to always live as much in the present moment..for that is all we have..one point of contact ...and thankyou for your honest from the heart share..thinking of you take care my friend🙏🙏🙏
Thank you Paul my friend ♥♥♥
You are a great dharma teacher. I have learned a lot from you! 🙏🙏
You are very kind Marcelo, but you must give credit to yourself as well. It is because of your ability to internalise the dharma that you are able to learn. It is called the good karma of being able to hear the dharma 🙏🙏🙏
To be vulnerable is courageous. It is a strength!! It is refreshing, Lama Choga. When you crossed my UA-cam feed at a very pivotal time, I was inspired to study and learn proper meditation. To set my motivations as altruistic as possible and get on with it, and I continue to do so. We have become conditioned to get immediate turn around on our investment. But what I have found is hard work and constant awareness of my delusions and attachments but I keep going because I have also experienced the peace associated with this path. You haven’t failed anything. You are a human being! You are saving lives but the battlefield is samsara. You have taken the higher path to bring an end to suffering for yourself; for all sentient beings… for me!!! For all here!! May you be strengthened, encouraged and live a very long life in peace. Thank you for sharing your regrets; your humanity. You’re almost 60?? You’re so young!!! I’ll be 62 in December and this party’s just getting started!!! So much gratitude to you, Lama Choga!
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Thank you as always for your kind word Liz and also for applying loving kindness and compassion to your everyday life ♥♥♥
I will turn 60 on August 18th, and I couldn't be happier! So much wisdom, and so much time left to wield it! We are just getting started, dear Lama! ❤ 🐕🦺🙏🐕🦺
Thank you for putting more of your heart and life and inner-truth/experience on the line; I myself can resonate; I too wouldn't be on the path of awakening if it didn't correspond to the 1st Noble Truth - I would've chose a different path, but since there is a path that embraces the truth of suffering the buddha-dharma, eventually vajra-dharma is what became my path. I'm on the path like you and yes I too have overcome mountains and oceans but it's all hard. That path is hard; life is hard; it's all so hard!!! But I suppose for us, what else is there? Do whatever we can to end our own suffering to its fullest extent and simultaneoulsy benefit others to the best that we sincerely can - all in the here now present moment. For me, when I see authentic experience shared from someone who is in the dharma, and leaders in the dharma, that helps me to trust the teacher a lot more. If the teacher isn't willing to be vulnurable then, in general, it's a sure sign there isn't authenitc dharma to be found from that teacher. It's easy even when teaching bodhichitta for teachers to be narcissits; because finding a way to teach selflessness for others becomes the very self they are creating to maintain. I've seen this and experienced this from teachers; even their vulnurablity is a tactical ploy meant to manipulate their aim (narcissists can't help that, that's what they do). The teacher is never different than I as a person and can equally learn from me, truly, as one from another - thank you for providing a little more glimpse of yourself and may you do so like this more often. It's profoundly easy to hide behind dharma robes and preach when in fact you and all of us are merely human. Thank you - I felt the dharma in this video.
Furthermore, it’s always important to put all the cards on the table, let yourself crumble, and don’t use the dharma as a form of intellectualizing the experience, distancing yourself from the pain by using the dharma; don’t use the dharma like clinging to a teddy bear. To truly become free of that suffering there must be a complete uninterrupted experience of releasing that trauma, no articulation, no teachings, no talking about being in the present moment, but only the complete embodiment of release, or surrender in the present moment. And fully embody the teachings, and be a true example.
But you ARE a skilled physician of the spirit, my friend, which is far more important. Bodies will come and go, but the ignorance of the mind will stay until it is healed. For that, the world desperately needs physicians of the mind like yourself.
So what if you haven't awakened from the mundane world yet! You're showing your desire to do so! Others who feel the same itch to awaken will want to join you, listen to you, and practice with you. That is no small thing! I'm not even Buddhist and I listen to your teachings quite frequently. They are very beneficial to me on my spiritual path. Brother, I bow to you a thousand times for your effort.
Thank you for contributing Derek it is appreciated. Maybe you are more Buddhist than you think (hint: it doesn't depend on identification but upon view)🙏🙏🙏
🙏🙏🙏hare hare hare hare
It’s interesting to look at strong emotions that reemerge again and again from the past. I bow down to them. I think of them as forms that my guru takes. It’s a pinch on my arm to wake me up!
The teaching "all appearances are the guru" is very profound! ❤
Yes indeed!
For me, this understanding comes from Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche’s teachings 🙏🏻❤️ I’m very grateful for teachings like yours and other teachers online. The Dharma can reach almost anyone now! It’s a blessing! 🙏🏻
Your father must be extremely proud of you!! You did surpass his expectations, you became a spiritual surgeon!! What could be better than that?!! Thank you for sharing your courage and words
My relationship with my father has had a huge transformation in recent times ♥🧡💛
@@ultimatemeaning I can only imagine, but I can empathize for certain.
Ahh, we share some regrets, too, I see. Will we ever truly be able to let go of these core wounds? Or will we be faced with a new perspective of those times and be forced to heal it all over again? Then, to try and remember those times, don't exist....easier said than done lolz. We just have to sit back and examine what is unfolding in front of us right now. Cultivating a mind full of gratitude takes patience and devotion. You are helping me heal so much. You're basically a mind surgeon. Because of your example, I was able to save myself from falling off the path. Thank you for sharing some of your hard stuff 🙏💚
If I can help you heal even a single Samsaric scare then my life will be worthwhile Mary
Genuine and beautiful! You are a great teacher
Thank you Alex but greatness isn't easy in the world let alone on the spiritual path, but I appreciate your kind words and support ❤
Thank you for sharing! Takes guts
As for helping, I can honestly say your videos help me a lot.
[telling a bit of my story, it's fine not to read it since it is a bit heavy]
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I was thrown into the woo woo crystal indigo child esoteric world when I was 12. That really messed me up since I was used by adults as a "seeing child". Gave me extremely complex PTSD damaged all aspects of my life. Also got to the point I was not able to function. Now that I'm in my 30s I try to get my head in right space while still trying to understand how world works and spirituality in general. I've no addictions, healthy body and creative job, but I still struggle with past information processing scars.
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Listening to your thought process and the modern perspective with very traditionally rooted spritiuallity feels really healing. In this information day of age where there is spiritual/philosophical/sensationalist science claims, it is really easy to get lost, specially for people like me, where there is not a solid bielef system to trust. Hearing someone talk about these sensitive topics like you do is super valuable.
Your video teachings are among my favorite of all lamas. You inspire me every time I see your handheld videos. You hold the most precious treasure of all, the wish fulfilling gem of awareness. I am a ngakpa that has been inspired by you. And all the students I teach and meet will also receive your knowledge that passes from you to me and to the world. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Thank you Lama Karma Choga
You are too kind AK5D Thank you for contributing and thank you for your words of encouragement ☮🕉
I continue to offer merit. However, I am so grateful for your videos as they benefit me on my journey on the dharma path. Bows
Thank you, to know there has been some benefit makes it easier to share 🙏🙏🙏
I too am a failed husband, father and musician. I've been searching for this entire time. Thanks for sharing. It felt like you understood some things inside me.
well, better to be a failure and have jour eperiences and gained some wisdom. Then stay empty cours of fears of trying.
Thank you for your vulnerable and wonderfully human sharing. Unfortunately we cannot re-edit the past ( although I have some regrets I would alter: maybe reframe as lessons learned). Any changes would alter our present circumstances ( butterfly effect…I’m grateful for my present). We can however alter the present thoughts that stem from the past by mindful contemplation.💫
Ah, the moment, savour it as a spark of light celebrated by birth and ( for me), relinquished at death.
We can each contribute to the light of the world rather than darkness…and you have chosen well ✨
Thank you for your support my friend 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you. I was feeling deeply depressed this evening especially about my future; but while you spoke I got the courage to just send off a few emails that will help move me forward that I had been procrastinating for about a week. Thank you.
Thank you my friend for sharing those encouraging words ❤
you are helping people, more than you realise.
♥♥♥
I believe that in life it's not about what you want or wanted to become in your past or future or about the expectations of anyone else or even your own but what you actually feel, think and sense right now and about just being completely honest and true to yourself at any moment. And it is never too late to do that🧡I believe spirituality is a lifelong journey about being true to yourself on the basis of love.
P.S.:
You as everyone else are 'just' a human being if you like it or not. No hero, no god and nothing else. God/Love is in your/our soul, expressing itself through you/us as the unique human being we are. Which is a really beautiful experience if we are true to ourselfs on the basis of love!
And every living being, actually everything that exists, is such a wonder in itself, we should be aware and grateful of our and everythings beauty as such. You have to learn to love yourself to know how to love others.
Wish you the best🤗♥️💋
Thank you for sharing your insights HC 🙏🙏🙏
I feel you and see my past self in your past story. I am now retired with pension and living a spiritual, meditative life that I've longed for, studying and seriously practicing Dharma. In fact, my life-long miseries have forced me to heal myself through Buddhist and Taoist teachings (I live in a predominantly Buddhist country), and recently Advaita Vedanta's. I found myself deeply thankful to my past miserable life that really prepare me properly to understand the teachings of all those great spiritual masters of the past and the present. Without those severe miseries I'm sure I could not come this far and this deep at present. So in retrospect, my 60+ years of ignorance and miseries was really an appropriate spiritual preparation for me.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'll look forward to your upcoming videos.❤🧡💛
And thank you for sharing your touching story with everyone, that takes courage and honest, two very positive qualities! 🙏🙏🙏
Thank your for your courage and vulnerability. Your story reminded me of an interview I just watched with Gabor Mate where he describes childhood trauma as basically the experience of choosing acceptance/attachment of the parent over one's innate authenticity. To abandon oneself is trauma. In spiritual terms, we could say to modify one's freedom of consciousness in order to satisfy the projected desires of the parent, is trauma to the child's innate spiritual aspirations.
Flash forward from the beginning of life to the end, Dr Mate also cites hospice interviews where people are asked their greatest regrets in life. The #1 regret was not being themselves. The #2 was not saying how they actually felt. I don't know your full story, but it sounds like you actually chose a less traumatizing path, because you chose to know yourself more deeply rather than to satisfy an image in someone else's imagination.
Unfortunately I also caused my parents a lot of torment and worry wondering whatever on earth would become of me. But thankfully they have forgotten all about that now that I care for then. Thanks for your kind words John my friend ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎
@@ultimatemeaning Have you found insights and healing in now being somewhat like a parent to them?
@@jonmustang Oh, hell yeah! On a daily basis John 🙏
Thank you for a great display of humility and honesty
People forget most things they hear and I'm no different. But I will remember how you said we contaminate the present.
Likewise we can enrich the present friend ♥♥♥
I was doubtful about Buddhism until I saw your videos and that lead to taking multiple courses, online retreats. reading books on tantra, and meditating every day. I am vastly more at peace and suffer much less than I used to thanks to you. Surgeons save lives in one way, you in another.
Mack if I can help you find 1% more peace in your life it will make mine worthwhile ♥♥♥
The most valuable gift that psychology has given me is self-compassion, compassion for the me that made mistakes. Peace 🙏🏻🪷🙏🏻🪷🪷
☮♥☮♥☮♥
I feel you, man, and in many ways I can see myself there as well, but can I be presumptuous and give the same advice you gave to me? Don't beat yourself up! haha :D at least you're not a failure as a teacher
Hi Arthur, Being an authentic teacher is incredibly difficult. But regardless of the difficulties of the mundane world, we have to persist and do what ever we can to bring benefit
🙏🙏🙏
Good talk. I also have regrets and a "traumatic" youthful years. As you said these words I noticed the present environment around you was very beautiful and fleeting. Its all like holding onto sand, it just flows away, between your fingers continuously. Its the ego that compares and measures and defines, but that is not really you. You are everything and that is no-thing in particular. You are always helping even when your ego tells you otherwise. You are already a Buddha although the ego tells you otherwise. There is nothing we have to be, only not be what we are not. If we keep telling ourselves we are not this or that then there is cognitive dissonance. The Buddha once held up a flower and only a single being, Kashyapa understood. Where is that single being right now? This is a Zen story but a Tibetan master once said the same thing with different words..
"You are the eyes of the World!"
Each of us has regrets, pain, suffering, dukha,..so you are in good company. In the body this is manifested as tension and or energy "blockages" which can become disease. The ego does this when it is in control, like a child throwing a fit because it cant get its way.
One way to deal with that aspect of the ego is to exercise the tension "demon" out of the body by means of physical action yoga, rituals pujas, prostrations, even gym, running and accomplishing physical goals. The Buddha is already present in/as us but he/she is just covered by our hangups and mistaken views.
I once knew a homeless wondering vagabond who had some good advice.. "Dont argue for your limitations" he said and I have never forgotten this.
In the end there is only YOUR path, not a particular path that is imposed on you. We are all crooked cucumbers, imperfect beings who are perfect just as they are. Nobody lives and dies your life but you so regrets are ego imposed illusions.
When I was 19yo I was a total failure and was about done with everything. I ended up in a psyche ward and was forced into counseling therapy. Early on I was asked by my therapist "So.., why do you want to kill youself David?"
I said, "Because Life is meaningless and there is no reason to be here anymore."
My therapist then paused for a long moment, reached down to the table between us and picked up a flower that was on the table.
She then said, " What if the reason for this flower was just to BE this flower?"
That moment changed everything for me. In a way, Ive often wondered if that's how Kashyapa felt when the Buddha held up a flower?
We dont have to BECOME anything other than what we already are. And if we can actually REALIZE that ultimate truth then we can potentially become ANYTHING.
Its all good
❤🙏
Thank you
Welcome friend! ♥♥♥
Thank you.. I myself am 21 and feel quite weak and traumatized, but that is why your words are so important to me. I wish to derive love and compassion from this suffering, if anything at all. It is hard to change the world, but the world is such a vague and broad concept. I think by showing compassion to those immediately around us, it instigates a butterfly effect that continues to spread throughout. My goal is.. professionally, it’s computer science, but I feel discomforted by the idea of working for a corporation. Ultimately, it’s to establish a commune, for all of my loved ones and their loved ones and more to live in. Something like a little town, self-sufficient, away from the chaos of the world. Getting the income to establish that is secondary to me. A simple life of love and existing in the present moment is all I’ve ever desired.
I sincerely hope you are able to establish your retreat.. if you are presently existing within that mindset and presently doing it, then it is this moment’s reality, I think. I’m really glad I found your channel today.. I want to use this to inspire positivity and growth in me, so I am eventually strong enough to spread it to others. We are all one human lifetime, and our fundamental pains are the same; it’s like everyone takes their turn at repeating it, over and over again. This is why I look to people of the past and their experiences. Even people now.. people like my mother, who passed away last November. People who are wise, and seek that wisdom from those who are versed in cyclical human nature. Everything in this world is a manifestation of cause and effect, and when I come to terms with that, I can let go and feel peace. These words, experiences, and teachings will act as a pillar of forgotten wisdom in this chaotically changing world to guide those seeking answers along their way. Thank you for being a part of the positive impact in this world.
Many thanks Karma Choga. I am reminded of the importance of Tilopa's 6 points to Naropa. Milarepa and Rechungpa, and Guru Rinpoche and Yeshe Tsyogal. 🕯🙏🙏🙏🧘♂️🪔📿🕊🎶🦋🌈
Profound instructions of the Mahamudra!🙏🙏🙏
Thank you for your courage in sharing from your heart, Lama la.
That takes a lot of courage, especially in front of a camera on the world wide web!! 🕸🕷🕸
Although humility is a virtue, as is honesty & self-reflection, me thinks perhaps you are being a bit too hard on yourself!
Sending you a virtual hug & the peace that passeth understanding. 🫶🏽💓🫂💓🫶🏽
May you have a long life & may you prosper upon your path.
OM TARE TUTTARE TURE MAMA AYURJNANA PUNYE PUSHTING KURU SVAHA.
🙏🏼🤍🪷🤍🪷🤍🪷🤍🙏🏼
🙏🙏🙏
Being a physician (healer) of souls has equally as much merit as being a physician (surgeon) of the body. 🙏🏼💚🌷
That was really profound. I have so much anxiety as a young man about what I will become and pain/rage for who I was and what has happened to me. I don't want to be so arrogant as to suggest this has transformed me in any way, but you have seriously caught my attention and changed me positively with these thoughts. :)
Yes we all suffer in this way from imposter syndrome and our worldly self image. In the process then we miss the wonder of existence ♥🧡💛
My regrets and failures are like a reliable old friend, and they’re always there to keep me company. They exist therefore have value. They can destroy us or empower us. They are dangerously powerful. When handling, appropriate safety equipment must be worn.
I truly appreciate the honesty
The only thing I know about no self,
Is that it is painful
Maybe the only pain in existence
It’s not something that I am ready for, and appreciate
Someone’s diligence
Your closeness to its existence
Is something I aspire to be
Thank
You
For
Me ❤
And please read the comments and not push everyone away like a bum 😘
I'll try to avoid the "Bum Pushin" 😆🤣😆
@@ultimatemeaningsome bums may push back! 😂
You're not a failure. You are the version we needed for this reality. You have been doing phenomenally well and there are greater successes awaiting you. Your work has not gone unnoticed and we apprpeciate all that you have been doing. Keep doing your thing. ❤🙏👊
You are really too kind Yuri. Not sure I am worthy of your praise but I certainly appreciate your vote of confidence friend ♥🧡💛
Wow, im sure about that. Just found the Lama some days ago but i got wings out of here (and still practicing my dharma)
Thank you for your courage in sharing your trauma. I think any living person can relate to your struggle. We all have regrets, but the trick is to not let it keep you from progressing, as you said. Regret is like a heavy weight tied to us. It is a weight that we can cut the line on at any moment with the Dharma blade in our hand, but it is our choice to do so. You seem to have that courage to cut it.
I have been a practicing Chan Buddhist for the past year. In that time I have learned many things, but also know I have a tremendous journey ahead. Along the way I have had my setbacks. I've lost my way on the path, but each time, I come back stronger and more resilient. People like you help me to be stronger. Thank you for that.
It was a great gift finding you channel. I can't wait to watch all of your videos!
Thanks friend
As you began talking about your youth and feelings of wanting to dissapear, inadequacy in the face of the unknown and external expecations, I I cried - and releasing emotions is something i truly struggle with so thank you for sharing your experiences. I'm 26 and struggling with these things, and knowing others have shared similar experiences provides relief.
Thank you for subjecting yourself to the public eye and my appreciation. I always wanted to be a surfer, but instead I tend to vulnerable youths. I think my livelihood is ok, it’s not much, but maybe it is helpful to some. My practice is mostly not becoming enraged by the public school system, or the drive to work amongst road-heathens. I tried friending you on IG but see your account is quite exclusive :). Mainly I would like request to know your name if possible. Thank you for being available, it’s a miracle you even answer your comment thread (and a little cheekily even) ❤ A final comment… when you mention almost turning 60, it does look like you’re not a day over 50. Bless you.
❤ hi eden, thank you for sharing your story, and you work is very important, the youth are our future.
My IG account is for DM with viewers on thd UA-cam platform and one to one chats with spiritual friend, if you message me on IG I will surely get back to you.❤
I was way off, had him pegged at like 45. 😅
🙏
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Thank you for sharing this. I rarely leave UA-cam comments, but I wanted you to know that I listened to every word you said, and will take them forward with me. I hope you have a fantastic day.
I had a great time drawing you while you spoke. I personally don't believe it's much of a failure to struggle to free oneself in spite of the challenges and the world itself not understanding why you would want to leave it behind. Thank you for your wisdom and peace to you :)
Thank you friend and now you got me interested- I wonder what the picture looks like? 🤔
I recommend the teachings of Sadhguru sincerely, and a psychedelic experience.
Ram ram 🙏🏻
Thanks Sadhguru is really funny ♥♥♥
@@ultimatemeaning great, that is how he got my attention at first as well, and then he peeled me away like an onion. Have a great time 😇🙏🏻
"Becoming Enlightened" by the Dalai Lama is a great book and facilitates the insight necessary to be free of Samsara as well as his book "The Mind of Clear Light".
If you haven't gotten free from Samsara yet I highly recommend these!
☮
Love the Dalai Lama.♥♥♥
:') Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥🙏📿
Welcommmmmmme Elly 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
You never fail, you'll find the solution
I’m so sorry. We are made perfect through what we suffer, I heard it said. Thank you for sharing, I see myself in your story. I love you in this moment, the best I can.
Thank you friend for your kind words! ♥
@@ultimatemeaning you are most welcome.
Thank you for your inspirational gift to us all. I truly appreciate your channel and presentations and your wisdom and insight. My 2c's worth of insight ... perserverance is our greatest treasure, failure is as relative as success. Just 'having a go' is the real attainment and all aims are ultimately that 'Zen arrow' on the bullseye (as a metaphor for liberation) ... a reminder that the only true success is the proactive surrender of all agendas and life goals the ever present emptiness of our true nature.
I'll punctuate, just pure observations from someone who praticed meditation for some years
. You irradiate natural calmness when you speak, not like those ASMR actors. It's not a forced thing because mind soothes as the video progress but not get sleepy. It's like listening to a Guru or a Tai Chi master's lesson.
. To share that calmness even while speaking of painful experiences is no small feat.
. You didn't became a surgeon, but what a good doctor of souls you have become.
Blessings! 🙏
Soul doctor sounds cool! Thanks for participating in the discussion friend! ♥
Thank you for your deep honesty. I'm much younger than you, with maybe three decades of work to go, but the last few years have been horrible and set me back, not just because of mistakes of my own that led to up to it, but also because I had suddenly reawakened to old, repressed memories that compounded the pain and begged for a complete reshaping of how I approached life. My mind has been unruly for a while now, although it is slowly recovering. The Buddha's words have been great help, and so have yours over the last few weeks.
The one idea that I have reconnected with is that nothing comes without effort and courage, like you mentioned in the video. I hadn't truly understood this in my younger years as I had youthful narcissism to help buttress that.
Opportunities come and go, and sometimes we regret their passing, but I think I'm starting to see that the one thing we can rely on is our own cultivated sense of strength to face the unknown, as you eloquently put it. I was too attached to outcomes before, and in a sneaky, subversive way, I pretended to be above them. I'm starting to see now that all we can ever do is face our circumstances as best and honestly as we can, leaving the outcomes to reality.
The humble pie really is a sour one 🥲
🙏🙏🙏
Sir, your words reached me and allowed me to see through the suffering I have burdened myself with in the form of my expectations and regrets. Thank you 😊
How wonderful friend I hope you grow from strength to strength ♥♥♥
The best transparency 🙏🙏
Transparent heart ♥♥♥
Thank you.
My pleasure friend 🙏🙏🙏
You a cool dude. I can identify and empathize with your feelings towards failure. Aversion to it has been a big attachment of mine. I too also lived in Vancouver. In the most uncreepy way and respectful manner possible, maybe our paths could intersect.
In either case, be well.
😎 💪 🙏 ☸️
3:04
“We don’t appreciate what is significant…”
This quote scared me for a brief moment, and helps me realize that I too do not appreciate the present moment as much as I should.
Thank you.
Yes this is such an important point you have identified!
♥
There is time. I love you.
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What advice would you give the young trying to move on from trauma? This video really helped open my eyes and motivate me to keep moving forward, but as you mentioned, I feel trapped in this endless cycle. No matter how much I try to move on or forget, the past keeps haunting me, and it affects my view of the future and present. It’s causing me to not appreciate the moments and regret almost everything I do. Regardless, thank you for this video and thank you for helping me move forward, even if I’m scared and uncertain.
There are three ways to deal with trauma in the dharma, abandonment, transformation and recognition. The 1st of these is the easiest but least effective, and the last is much more difficult but ultimately eradicates all suffering. Recognition is to see things for what they are, by experiencing their empty nature directly. By this way we our anxiety no longer has the power to harm us but quite the opposite becomes our helper on the spiritual path.
Mingyur Rinpoche is very skilled in this technique because he used to experience very strong panic attacks as a young man in retreat
@@ultimatemeaning I’ve been on the recognition path, and I agree it’s been the hardest, but most impactful. It’s hard to let go of those emotions tied to the trauma, and I too have started to have panic attacks because of them. I believe you’re right, so I will keep going on this path. Thank you so much, you’ve help to give me some strength to keep moving forward.
Be strong my friend and look after you self❤
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Thanks Claire ♥♥♥
@@ultimatemeaning Thank you for your honesty in sharing your trauma I found it so helpful and encouraging. Thank you also for replying to my comment this NEVER happens!
@@clairegittoes7759 Hi Claire, I try to answer every comment I can. If you make the effort to share your thoughts then I think I should do my best to respond ♥♥♥
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Thank you for being here. You're efforts are an inspiration and a wonderful reminder of something I forgot many years ago. I hear, in your talks, echos of conversations I once had with some of my favorite people. Perhaps it is a sign that the time has come to reestablish my own discipline and again take up the practice. Peace to you, my friend.
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Thank you for sharing this lama🙏🏾. I relate very much to it, from trauma preventing me from pursuing a career in emergency medicine, to being drawn to the spiritual path but feeling doubt around that being the best service there is to offer, like it would not be enough. At the end of the day, i am who i am and all other services seem impossible even if i try to push myself into them. I guess i can not fight where life drives me and i am tired of trying to fight it and pretend to be fulfilled by things i am not fulfilled by, such as medical service. I look too at the paths of lifelong philantropists such as eidhi in my country who i consider a saint and wish that that could be my path, but i also know it is not. Or even pure dedication to a specific tradition does not seem to be the path either and that also bums me out lol. So there is a lot to whine about for me 😭😂. But your video helped me today when i needed it. You are a truth teller and that is a courageous, noble and difficult path that eases suffering by allowing acceptance and one step further away from delusion.
Hi Bill. IMO there is no better path and that's because it is from finding one's center that the world can experience significant change. Everything else is like aspirin or bandages 🙏🙏🙏
No one has ever been successful in the material world and walked the spiritual path. The chosen ones are chosen to suffer the failures of the material world. Ordinary life is suffering and only from that pain can the desire arise to liberate yourself from that pain. Gurdjieff said the Way is a system of failures. Winning feels good for a temporary moment and those moments lead us to wanting more wins. Failure if used correctly leaves an everlasting impression. If you lose and let the negativity eat you that is an ultimate failure but if you eat the negative emotion then that failure is a benefit. How can you have the opportunity to eat the negativity of a win? The fire we must pass through are our negative emotions. They can either burn us up or they can be the fire of purification. A spiritual path that focuses on the wins, the good, the euphoric experiences never go anywhere. Only when we walk through our own darkness can we get to the light.
Thanks brother for choosing to walk the path of liberation and showing others that they to can be in the black parade.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts friend. You don't meet many people these days who talk of Gurdjieff, do you?
No you don't, Gurdjieff was the black sheep of the new age movement. Many organizations took his ideas and incorporated them into their systems but very few give him credit these days. I spent 6 years in a 4th Way Group and without that time of deconstruction of my programming my spiritual understanding would still be lost in la la land. G always cut out the BS and tried to make awakening as simple as possible. Most people enter esoterica because the stories make them trip out in their head and they have these mystical experiences and they think that those altered states are enlightenment. They don't realize that those stories are no different than religious fables and point to what enlightenment really is which is liberation from our suffering. G said man will give up everything but his suffering. In my journey I have found that to be true in myself and others. Isness is impossible for the ego to comprehend because the ego is the opposite force. I can change it, I can fix it, I can make it better, etc.. G put the emphasis on I as in original I. Only the all seeing I can see how the ego keeps us trapped in this state of lack and seeking something other. Seekers will spend their whole lives seeking and wonder why they can't find. They never step back and ask themselves what are you seeking? Are you after spiritual ideas and mystical experiences or are you after contentment? Inner peace has no needs, wants or desires it just is. The ego can never hold satisfaction for long because once it has a moment of it it must find something else that is a problem. Being and doing cannot occupy the same space just like needing and having. If you THINK you need or THINK you lack you cannot occupy the space of having or knowing. A few in the west say the 4th Way is esoteric Christianity and I agree but esoteric Christianity is simply the knowledge of the east. The essence of all western religion is liberation of true Self from the multitudes of egoic selves that inhabit modern man. Most western religions say that combining the three traditional Ways of liberation is the religion of the antichrist but those people don't understand that this is what Jesus was trying to convey also. Religion is a system of control and as long as you adhere to its "rules" you will never 'be like little children' as Christ said. To be like little children means to be the Self that predates their system of rules. The alpha and omega or the beginning and the end is simply the essence we are born into and the essence that leaves this world. If you never become acquainted with this essence in the middle path you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Heaven is at hand, it's so close yet so far. It can be your next breath or some distant idea but it can't be both. Its very hard for the closed western mind to understand that Buddhism not a religion. Thank you for sharing your practice with the world! This disciple of the 'white devil' as you guys called him really appreciates it!😂❤
@@DougDeYoung-gt4id I mean I have has many friends in the past who were interested in G but they are all from several generation before my time and either passed on or nearly there.
As I understand it G himself borrowed a lot from Tibetan Buddhism?
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Yes the similarities are undeniable. Some say the sarmoung monastery was the surmang but you also have the sarmouni of Babylon these were the Babylon bees. Their traditions can be found in some Sufi sects today. IMO they all connect to older traditions that were lost to history. Most people think Sidhartha was the pioneer of Buddhism not realizing even he was a student of an established tradition. What they all have in common is that they are a practice with tools (exercises) that the students have to take on and incorporate into their lives. You can hold all the spiritual knowledge in the world but if you don't put it into practice you will go nowhere. Speaking of that I liked your video about Krishnamurti. The lineage of 4th Way I was in was very secretive and nothing like the Gurdjieff foundation or what the Gurdjieffians are really known for which is movements. I never had dance class but I can get pretty high if I whirl like a dervish!😂
Those things are meant to bring on a certain level of presence or transcendence which is great but if it only works when you are on the dance floor or spinning in circles it's not very useful in everyday life. We learned to hold presence in all movements of the body. The flick of the wrist or changing your gate can bring the same effect. After years of practice I can hold presence in any activity now and that is more practical. One of the biggest things people suffer from today is they can't get out of their head. We also had a lot of focus on know thyself as in hearing your I's and studying the selves as we called them. G said man is legion and the many little I's that make up our personality are what we identify with. Very few people know their original I or as we said impartial Self. If people start to study the sub personalities within them-selves they will see that their wants conflict with each other and are very temporal. One self might want it while another self doesn't, this is the source of our walking contradiction we call I. Everything we did was classified in two categories presence or impartiality.
Seriously speaking it is crucial from the perspective of reaching buddhahood in this body to question one’s progress in the light of one’s age and efforts. I have seen friends, elder practitioners, die with full confidence to find themselves in trouble right after passing away. Too much unquestioned faith in a path that one is yet to attain is not much firmer than thin ice. If you already spent couple of decades following a path with full devotion and keenness it’s unlikely to happen so I recommend you to find a faster path. Then you can wrap up your samsaric journey and fulfill your bodhisattva vows by leading sentient beings out of samsara.
The question friend isn't about speed but destination 🙏🙏🙏
@@ultimatemeaning Seriously? No. It’s about both speed and destination.
I appreciate the reflection on your past experiences because they reflect, perhaps not uncommonly, on my worries and doubts as a young man. The lack of self-belief and constantly escaping for an idyllic place of solitude from trauma resonates with me greatly. I’ve been learning spiritual tidbits here and there for years, but now I think I want to work on my dharma and the work of enlightenment or getting away from samsara, if that is correct. What is a good starting place for this, and would you recommend any materials for this? Also, I love your prayer wheel and the ambient noise in this video, it was very calming as I was playing outside with my dogs.
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I appreciate the way you are and what you are doing. ♥
Thank you for your kind words and your support friend ♥♥♥
Thank you for your openess honesty and wisdom.
Please forgive my disrespect. After watching this video, I would have liked to hug you for a long time because I can't find the right words to express what I feel. However, afterwards, I would have liked to give you a strong slap. How can you believe that you have failed in life? Please look long and carefully into your mother's eyes. Her heart is the mirror in which you can see yourself best. And the only thing you will see in it is nothing but pure love. So, how can you have failed? ❤Again: please forgive my disrespectful words. I would never hit you in the face, but that's what I felt immediately.
No worries both slaps and hugs are welcome here! 🙏🙏🙏
Tao Te Ching chapter 44
名與身孰親 Fame or the self, which is dearer?
身與貨孰多 The self or wealth, which is greater?
得與亡孰病 Gain or loss, which is more painful?
是故甚愛必大費 Thus excessive love must lead to great spending
多藏必厚亡 Excessive hoarding must lead to heavy loss
知足不辱 Knowing contentment avoids disgrace
知止不殆 Knowing when to stop avoids danger
可以長久Thus one can endure indefinitely
I don't mean to cling...
But sometimes when all is dark, this humble character comforts me 亡
For she knows me all too well,
just as she has you.
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CLINGING = PRIDE
REGRET = SHAME
both come from the ego
Ok and what is the nature of the ego? and does an enlightened being have one (an ego)?
@@ultimatemeaning ego comes from body identifiaction
But between the strong emotions from the past and the idea of a pinch on the arm, there was a long walk on the path of introspection that needed to be taken 😅
Bien sûr ♥♥♥
@@ultimatemeaning My head is deep in samsaric stuff these days because we are selling our house near Québec city (Et oui!) to go back and live in Montréal again. Of course, under stress, I keep the dharma at arm’s length. 🙄 Once in a while I take a step back to look at what is going on: emotions (hope and fear), reactions, strong identification. I try not to juge and to remember the teachings 😏 Watching your videos once in a while is very helpfull 😊
Trust me, you would have hated being a surgeon, helping people yes, but being any kind of western physician... No. I have learned far more from my failures than any success. I was a Peace Officer, and a Soldier, but I have always been a Warrior. They are not the same. Why do you feel so? I have an MPA with a triple specialization, spent 30yrs in business, and it's not worth squat. I'm proud of NOTHING, and none of it matters, as I have let go of any need to feed my ego, because I killed it, and I am thus reborn. Maybe it's a middle path that is he right action.
Your voice sounds reminds me of a Canadian Buddhist Christopher Lee.. lol
Bro I see this alot in half Koreans❤ you are detoxing from Tiger parent syndrome...which one is the Korean, Apa, or oma?
아버지,
@@ultimatemeaning expectations, they are hard to live up to. It is good that you have returned to help them in their time of need.
@@ultimatemeaning my six kids call me Apa, it's funny cause they are white, they eat their kinmchi and bap, and are none the wiser that they are so cosmopolitan, culturally enriched.
choice is an illusion
Illusion is a choice 😂
@@ultimatemeaning map out the causes for why someone does something and you will see they never had a choice
Thank you for being my brother.
Stay regulated. 🩵✌️
Thanks friend ♥♥♥
This is a WONDERFUL example of CBT and you only speak objective truths. Repent in vocalizing your mistakes. Good discipline.
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@ultimatemeaning I was born and raised Roman Catholic and while many nay say I found Roman Catholicism to really open up my spirituality.
I have read and practiced many Buddhist ways. Albeit I am more familiar with Zen Buddhism. A Tibetan Buddhist is an absolute treat for me.
Pope John Paul the II was very interested in speaking with Buddhist, Yogi, etc. As he saw a common thread in the faith.
To love one another we must learn to love oneself. Which... especially in years recent, has become very difficult for the world at large.
I really think anything you can bring from your retreat and put on youtube will serve many people in finding their path!
Again thank you so much for putting yourself out there... at your most vulnerable.
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Too much mae mae joh! As a youngster.
mae mae joh?
@@ultimatemeaning it's Korean slang, something you would tell a petulant child, roughly translated to do you want spankings? Lol. Koreans are strict parents, like when a kid wets the bed, they make them go around the community and beg for salt, with a pot on their heads, door to door shaming is on another level. My Girlfriend was traumatized by her Tiger mom's raising, took her till her 50's to confront her and put up boundaries, and re-establish an adult to adult relationship. Wasn't easy, but she came to understand it was not disrespectful but a handing off of the reigns if you will.
@@ultimatemeaning she was born in Korea, came to the states when she was 5.
@@ultimatemeaning don't feel bad, my Gal was driven hard to become a dentist, she ended up a dental hygienist., got her to go back to school for her master's...or more like she couldn't stand the fact that I had mine and so I utilized her competitive nature to her favor, and got her to get her degree and she is now a tenured professor of dental hygiene at Seattle Central College. I know your struggles believe me.
Even if you were a dung scraper who cleans crap off the road your accomplishments would be immense. How many shoes you saved from being stinky and poop covered
Funny when I was young my dad said you need to get a good education so you can get a good job. I said that's OK I don't need a good job I can clean the streets 😆🤣😆
What do you mean by calling this man a "father"?
Calling which man? Do you mean my father?
@@ultimatemeaning Yes. What does it mean to you to be a "father"? I'm working with my Therapist on my resentment and I'm trying to stop thinking that "my mother was abusive and did not love me", but rather accept the reality that she did love me (probably still does), but she simply was not a "mother" (and she was abusive indeed, but that's not really the point, I think). All the missed opportunities were never really there, hence there's nothing to miss. I'm curious if I'm just trying to trick myself, or maybe it will bring me peace - time will tell. And what do you think?
Stop trying to act holy and just be.
I don't act holy, most think I am a heretic. 🤔
@@ultimatemeaning It’s a reminder to myself more than anything. There are issues within myself on the aspect of training the mind. It knows what you are up too. It’s always a step ahead. I prefer to befriend the mind and take it along with me on the journey. If that makes any sense.
The Peerless Physician
The Buddha is also known as the peerless physician (bhisakko), the SUPREME SURGEON (sallakatto anuttaro). He indeed, is an unrivalled healer. You really ARE fulfilling your father's dream whether you realise it or not! Wow! You actually had a Father in your life! How cool! Right!? Ego and Mara are having fun with you because you have chosen the wisest and most caring career of all! You are loved! We all care enormously for you! Stay strong like the mountain unmoved by storms. This too shall pass. Your dedication to the Dharma is a PRICELESS GIFT to humanity! Warriors don't sink into self pity! You have more strength than you realise, because you are not alone. You do realise that you ARE on the front line, right? Right here were the ego is, is where the front line is. You are right where you should be. Remember?? 🫡✌🏻🧡🧡🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thanks friend! 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you
Welcome my friend! ♥♥♥♥♥