‘Prince Philip died unexpectedly.’ Dude was 99 years old, had a heart condition and an infection. He arranged for his children to come and see him, then went home to his wife. What part of him dying soon after makes you think ‘Whoah! I never saw it coming!!!’
Next thing you know, there'll be a "tragic and unforeseen death" of the guy who's had 5 heart transplants, 7 knee replacements, 4 hip surgeries, and a pacemaker.
@@HAA400 at first I thought he had abandoned his humanity, but he never said wryyy so I knew he would die sometime or another. Queen Elizabeth Hamon user confirmed?
So basically Stabbing someone and they die Shoot the person with a gun when they mug you Stabbing the person everywhere except their important areas and making them bleed out to death
As an American, I'm embarrassed by the moon landing being us "winning the space race" against the USSR because the USA did it first. You know what those faux patriots never mention? The USSR did literally every single space-related thing first and the technology they developed first to do that is still in use today, including the cultural thing of being the first nation to put a woman in space... not technology, but culture, but... as I said... they literally did everything BUT the moon landing first. Please, faux patriots claiming we (USA) "won" the space race by doing only ONE thing before the Soviets did. The space race was won by the Soviets. Part of the space race, the race to the moon, was won by the USA. Saying the USA won the space race by being the first on the moon when the Soviets were the first to do literally everything else is like saying the USA won the Olympics if a single US Olympian athlete won a single event while the USSR won every single other event. Ridiculous? It is. Wanna' brag? Say the USA won the race to the moon, not the space race... the Soviets won that one. I could go on repeating myself in one way or another like this but faux patriots still won't understand and those who do understand will forget.
As a person who've played "violent" video games since my early teen years, I have never once felt the urge to murder people. Maybe because I was taught to differentiate between real life and fiction from an early age, and become discouraged from going down that dark path of violence, murder, r*pe, drug abuse and alcoholism. Education and a good upbringing plays a huge role in how people turn out when they grow up, and bullying combined with bad parenting will definitely set kids on a destructive path more than any video game can achieve. Anyone who uses third party influences as an excuse is just trying to deflect the real problem.
@@liu6740 to be fair, the accoustics of a fart against a pew in even your average church is going to murder anyone with their gradeschooler humor intact as they try to hold in their laughter.
I've played violent games for ages, and I've often felt the urge to kill people. Luckily, I was taught self control, and also that Spartan Lasers aren't viable weapons irl
Right? I mean, come on, really, people. Can we PLEASE stop trying to correlate "VaCcInE iNjUrY" with FUCKING AGE!? "He DiEd CuZ eViL vAcCiNe!" Gimme a break, people. >.>
@@bluestreaker9242 "yea he died because of poisons in the vaccine! He was murdered by big phar..." "No karen, he died because he was literally older than sliced bread. I mean the man looks like the grim reaper himself stole all his life force and his soul decided to haunt his own rotting body for an extra 20 years!"
11:14 fun fact: despite being called “the land of the free” America has one of the highest numbers of imprisoned people and isn’t even the country with the most freedom. Edit: that french voice is hilarious.
Note that I was murdered by a person that called me somebody that ate popcorn with a fork. Edit: I now use this as an insult. Edit edit: I still use this insult.
"There is no need for headphones" Well, that is the purist way to say you're privileged for not being noise sensitive and doesn't need music constantly playing in their ears so when things get to noisy they can just direct their hearing to the music in order to FUCKING COPE (Totally not speaking from experience /s)
I'll hopefully get noise cancelling headphones soon, since normal headphones tend to mess my sensory issues up even further... But yes, absolutely agreed! My favorite teachers were always those going "you can just ignore the flickering lights then!" - no, I can't, that's the point
Not gonna lie, I didn't know noise sensitivity affected people without pre-existing issues (i.e. epilepsy, migraines, autism, advanced age, etc.) but that it is an issue in and of itself. Thanks and keep informing others! Also I hope you're coping well today.
@@CubeGodd That and similar sensory issues have actually been moved to a diagnosis called "Sensory processing disorder" (if they are an issue of sensory processing), since it usually co-exists with autism it was part of an autism diagnosis before, but you don't have to be autistic to have SPD (I am, but I know people that aren't, and sensory issues suck nontheless).
I just wanna say, you need to keep an eye on a puppy too. Everytime I look away from my puppy he would instantly be in the trash trying to eat something that could kill him.
Our dog didn't go through the trash since he was too short, but he did chew through, among other things, my laptop charger, a remote, two books, half of our throw pillows (I didn't miss them as much as my mom did), and my favorite mint chapstick before we finally got him to stop chewing shit. Puppy Parent Solidarity over here.
me graduating from school be like: I do not know how to get a job I do not know how to pay taxes I do know that mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell
I think someone was just trying to be edgy and make it all about how great it is to be vaccine-free...as if you get to live to be 99 without at least one. XD
14:01 Karen: "You can listen to the sounds of birds and nature... without wearing any artificial devices on your ear created by man" Me: "I was born hearing impaired so I LITERALLY can't hear the sounds of nature without artificial devices in my ear"
Things I love: -Jack talking about the responsibility of having a child with big bill wurtz energy -There are more things but they aren't relevent to the video
13:03, unfortunately, the roaster themselves falls into the same trap that the roasted did. They assumed that just because their narrow section of the world has sweet cakes, that means all cakes are sweet and everything else is not cake. From Bahn da lon cakes in Vietnam, to Filipino bibingka cakes, and even freaking lemon drizzle cake: cakes are not just sweet. So the roaster is also narrow minded
I mean, not really? They did ask the question, so they showed curiosity, which is a lot further ahead than the assumption that everyone knows your crap. Essentially, "not knowing everything" isn't the same level of ignorance as "assuming everyone knows your stuff". Also "within walking distance of a school shooting" is a pretty brutal MBW.
@@wieldylattice3015sorry but how, youre right in not all cakes being sweet but still most are, and you try and go ask someone if they want a piece of cake and then show them crap cake and there is no way they wont be disappointed. Yes, not all cake is sweet but whem most people hear cake they assume sweetness
@@Ninjakiw1 Right, which is why you say "crab cake" and not just cake. It's kinda like getting pineapple or anchovies on pizza. You don't just say you have pizza, you say you have pizza WITH pineapple or anchovies because that detail is incredibly important
Your comments on the bit with the 15 year old girl who said hell hit home. That mother was my mother. And exactly what the person predicted is what happened.
as a british person i would like to apologise for our past behaviour and that it won't happen again (as long as a certain member of the royal family doesn't come into power)
3:30 A-f***king-men. As someone who has spent decades in therapy to deal with the issues transmitted to me by my parents, just so I can be a good enough person to properly raise a child myself one day, this hits home so hard. I struggle everyday to become a better person so I don't accidentally raise another miserable, broken person by passing my problems onto them and as I get older I know my time is running out... Then I see ungrateful POS who are spitting children out like their vagina is a clown car, making horrid, selfish decisions that will scar their children for life and treat them like inconvenient mistakes when it doesn't suit them to own up to the responsibility they chose to take on... and I wonder why I try so hard. Having a child is a massive responsibility, not just financially or by committing the rest of your life to them, but also to raise them to be good people, hopefully better than you could ever hope to be. If you don't think you can handle that, then do the poor hypothetical child a favour and use one of the numerous contraceptive options available these days... The world is already full of enough broken kids raised by selfish, mentally-ill children masquerading as adults. Your restraint won't effect the human race one iota, but it will save someone from living struggling with depression, anxiety, PTSD or a whole host of other problems because you wanted a f***king puppy, not to care for and shape a human being... On second thoughts, don't make a poor puppy suffer either. Once it's no longer 'cute' you'll probably stuff it in a shelter because it ate your PS5 cord or something. Even better, just go drink bleach so there's no risk of you breeding at all or abusing cute, fluffy pets. Am I bitter? You're f***king right I am.
Although I pretty much agree that people shouldn't be giving birth to kids because it's 'cute' or anything, I wouldn't stop anybody from doing because from an age and then, they have the responsibility to make choices to change their lives. The 'I'm not having a child as its future probably will be miserable and demands huge responsibility' doesn't make anything better.
I panicked a bit when he said "Oh, Mars! You look so dirty!" This is why we don't zone out while watching these videos. You zone back in at frightening times and briefly forget you named yourself after a planet.
4:15 Home Depot was being boycotted for, reasons no one could remember anymore, something dumb And Dear Ol' Benny went to buy a plank of wood just to piss off those boycotters
Jack is the best he's obviously the real test he always rhymes on time but Jack doesn't lack and he's my favourite in the pack Best narrator is all of 'EM tbh
Note that Emkay ain't no throw away. See I've told you, Jack is pure as gold too, his voice is a bubble that won't ever be in rubble, he's a super duper king, and that's the thing, ain't nobody better, that makes me- I'm gonna stop right there.
12:34 Crab cakes and fishcakes exist in the Uk, Ireland, and other English-speaking nations, I'ma forgive this person for complaining, but it's not America this time, it's the burning Toilet fire that is the English language. Still, Not all English speakers are American, and not all English speakers are British!
How would even begin to think that you could insult a comedian (especially a great one like Steve hofstetter) on the internet and expect to not get absolutely eviscerated.
JACK!! TO MAKE UP FOR THE ROBIN FANART THAT HAPPENED LAST TIME, I SHALL MAKE FANART OF YOU once I stop procrastinating, of course, but it’ll happen some time this year
"Within walking distance of a school shooting" I was sent to the office freshman year of high school (year 9 or just 9th grade for non Americans) because someone falsely claimed that I threatened to shoot up the school. I had my dad with me, the principal, and the chief of police trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
Please note that these are suggestions, and although I really wish for EmKay to cover them, they don't have to. As long as my comments don't get deleted, I'm fine. Day 229 of asking for these subreddits: Robin: -r/sbubby -r/KidsAre*******Stupid (doing this subreddit would be a good opportunity to add back Damien’s videos of it) Jack: -r/ComedyCemetery -r/garfieldminusgarfield -r/BreadStapledToTrees Lexi: -r/notlikeothergirls -r/forbiddensnacks -r/Chadtopia -r/ofcoursethatsathing Anyone: -r/HumansBeingBros -r/Wellthatsucks And finally: -A collaboration between Robin & Zach (have the subreddit be r/bonehurtingjuice) Thanks! :D
2:54 As someone who enjoys astrology, I agree that Astrology is NOT a real science. It’s a hobby, which is okay, it’s important to have hobbies. But don’t be a douche and blame it on your astrology sign. (From what I understand,) Astrology says that people born in a specific time of the year are known to have specific traits. Your sign doesn’t GUARANTEE how you act.
0:08: yes, just land on the inside of your foot. It causes a high ankle sprain, tearing all the ligaments in your foot, and it can fracture your leg at the same time. Happened to me tree years ago
10:50 Yo that's Steve Hofstetter! Dude's a comedian LEGENDARY for his passive roasting of hecklers! His youtube channel is loaded with him doing stuff like that on stage in front of audiences just because he gets so many drunk hecklers at his shows. XD. Cool to see him show up here!
I raised my hand on the being called fat one. I mean like. Seriously like dont blame It on the game. Some people just dont have ways to spread their anger in the correct way. (My coping mechanism may or may not have been bawling my eyes out until I went to sleep but eh who cares)
12:22 This strikes me as a self-own on the part of the person who asked. Saying "cakes are sweet and don't have claws" assumes that other cultures a) see the world the way you see it, and/or b) are obligated to conform to your definition of a word(s), so this person thinking they're entitled to criticize someone else for behaving as though they're "the whole [world]" is laughable. Besides that, an excessively 'emotional' question like "What the f is crab cake?!?!" is more likely to receive a sarcastic answer than a simple, "Could someone please explain the point of crab cakes?"
9:39 4015 Divided by 5 equals 803 The child had to make and then sell 803 keychains, I know they’re doing it for a good cause but that sounds like child labor to me
The gym post I 100% believe was an MLM hun setting up for their pitch. They went off script because they got mad instead of staying focused and working their biz like a bossbabe. 😂👍💫
I'm not entirely certain that the vitriol from the crab cakes post was really needed; I mean, the name was literally self-explanatory, some slight sarcasm wasn't really unexpected, but the follow-up...
The baby thing is so accurate. Why would I want to spend 18+ years of my life taking care of a loud obnoxious annoying person? I don't like kids, that's never going to change. I value my money and time, and while it's great people want to put their money and time into kids, and that's where they find a good portion of their value, I don't. I don't understand why some people believe that the life they want to live is the life everyone wants to/should live.
@@msmcwhore-mick I didn't say kids are the absolute worst...I just said I didn't personally like kids and would be a terrible fit as a mother because of how I view them. I'd never shame a kid for being "annoying" in my opinion. They are kids, that's how they are. It's not their fault that some random adult doesn't like being around things like that. And I also am not saying I don't want the absolute best for every kid born into this world. But I also shouldn't be expected to bend over backwards at how amazing children are for doing nothing. I don't find them cute, I wouldn't be a good mother, I am polite to kids because /they are human beings that deserve respect like the rest of us/, but I don't like kids, and I should be allowed to say that
14:39 Bruh "hell" isn't even a really curse word like grow up. Most adults have said curse words many times before. Like it's not that serious. As long as you aren't purposely offending someone with it who has a right to be offended with it, don't punish them. And taking their PHONE for 3 MONTHS is waay to extreme. What you need to do is calm the fuck down, give them back their phone, apologize, and not overreact about little shit like this
@@Cosmo-lq6tb It's possible. It is also possible that they asked the question, then shared their personal opinion, to get other people to share theirs!
I love when dudes downplay period pain and compare it to other types of pain. Like, yes, Brayden, I know (firsthand) that getting kicked in the balls hurts. Now imagine having that pain, for a continuous week+, every month, for forty+ years.
Have chronic pain here, shingles caused it, how does that hold up? Also the reason I'd assume period pains are so bad is you are literally popping out a chunk of yourself (idk I'm a guy) so it's probably like constant kidney stones.
3:26 wow that was BEAUTIFUL. seems like a mix of bill wartz and the voice of a generic demonic entity in a blockbuster. BUT DAMN JACK, QUITE SOME TALENT YOU'VE GOT
"i know where you favorite stuffed animal is, and i will come for them" i almost screamed... You cant touch him. Most of my friends arent allowed to touch him.
‘Prince Philip died unexpectedly.’
Dude was 99 years old, had a heart condition and an infection. He arranged for his children to come and see him, then went home to his wife. What part of him dying soon after makes you think ‘Whoah! I never saw it coming!!!’
Next thing you know, there'll be a "tragic and unforeseen death" of the guy who's had 5 heart transplants, 7 knee replacements, 4 hip surgeries, and a pacemaker.
Woah definitely didn't see this 5 times before nice job coming up with something original
Honestly I’m just surprised that it didn’t happen earlier
@@HAA400 at first I thought he had abandoned his humanity, but he never said wryyy so I knew he would die sometime or another.
Queen Elizabeth Hamon user confirmed?
@@Smart.fart.smella Bro. What the fuck do you want him to change? The list of diseases that prince philip had?
r/murderedbywords consist of either :
- A rare insult
- A comeback
- A full length lecture
So basically
Stabbing someone and they die
Shoot the person with a gun when they mug you
Stabbing the person everywhere except their important areas and making them bleed out to death
@Milly Max brightness on any OLED screen will do that. XD
@@AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEIOU the first one should be killing them in a very weird way
Or someone trying but failing
what did you just say
"Call me when your moon flag pays for your hospital bills" is my new favorite line ever.
As an American, that is fair. We deserve it lol
The best part was that at around 10:30 the commenter was called Karen
As an American, I'm embarrassed by the moon landing being us "winning the space race" against the USSR because the USA did it first. You know what those faux patriots never mention? The USSR did literally every single space-related thing first and the technology they developed first to do that is still in use today, including the cultural thing of being the first nation to put a woman in space... not technology, but culture, but... as I said... they literally did everything BUT the moon landing first. Please, faux patriots claiming we (USA) "won" the space race by doing only ONE thing before the Soviets did. The space race was won by the Soviets. Part of the space race, the race to the moon, was won by the USA. Saying the USA won the space race by being the first on the moon when the Soviets were the first to do literally everything else is like saying the USA won the Olympics if a single US Olympian athlete won a single event while the USSR won every single other event. Ridiculous? It is. Wanna' brag? Say the USA won the race to the moon, not the space race... the Soviets won that one. I could go on repeating myself in one way or another like this but faux patriots still won't understand and those who do understand will forget.
Hon hon hon, oui oui café croissant !
"oui oui café croissant" -jack but french
3:26
Don't make babies because of their cuteness: The musical.
The long-awaited sequel to "Put That Thing Back Where It Came From, Or So Help Me!"
@@TheMultiGamerOfficial Dear diary : *W H E E Z E*
@@TheMultiGamerOfficial
I have'nt heard that name in a long, long, long, time....
Memento Mori
@@MikhailYT Unus Annus
As a person who've played "violent" video games since my early teen years, I have never once felt the urge to murder people. Maybe because I was taught to differentiate between real life and fiction from an early age, and become discouraged from going down that dark path of violence, murder, r*pe, drug abuse and alcoholism. Education and a good upbringing plays a huge role in how people turn out when they grow up, and bullying combined with bad parenting will definitely set kids on a destructive path more than any video game can achieve. Anyone who uses third party influences as an excuse is just trying to deflect the real problem.
Shit, I play violent games all the time and the most violent thing I've ever done in a church was rip a big one in the middle of a sermon.
@@liu6740 to be fair, the accoustics of a fart against a pew in even your average church is going to murder anyone with their gradeschooler humor intact as they try to hold in their laughter.
I've played violent games for ages, and I've often felt the urge to kill people. Luckily, I was taught self control, and also that Spartan Lasers aren't viable weapons irl
@@obsidianry0546 3/4s of your comment is r/iamverybadass and then the last statement was a joke so now I'm confused
@@ecliiipsssse it's a joke lol
Lets appreciate Jack for all the effort on that ONE baby post
This dude is too good at his job
Yeah, it takes a really long time to layer audio like that lol
Yeah
that is just his inner voices materialising.
he did a bill wurtz
93, Brother!
5:47 yeah he died "unexpectedly", I mean come on, he was 99 and looked like if the grim reaper was taken by the grim reaper
Thats still sad tho
Right? I mean, come on, really, people. Can we PLEASE stop trying to correlate "VaCcInE iNjUrY" with FUCKING AGE!? "He DiEd CuZ eViL vAcCiNe!" Gimme a break, people. >.>
@@bluestreaker9242 at this point they are making an excuse to their stupid ass off a dead man and its realy sad
Oof
@@bluestreaker9242 "yea he died because of poisons in the vaccine! He was murdered by big phar..."
"No karen, he died because he was literally older than sliced bread. I mean the man looks like the grim reaper himself stole all his life force and his soul decided to haunt his own rotting body for an extra 20 years!"
11:14 fun fact: despite being called “the land of the free” America has one of the highest numbers of imprisoned people and isn’t even the country with the most freedom.
Edit: that french voice is hilarious.
As long as you have money, you are free to do whatever you please I guess.
@@UncleAsmos2005 the minimum wage (pre Biden) was to low to live without factoring in taxes
@@blizzardgaming7070 I think he means millionaires are the only ones who life free
@@paramagician6778 I was pointing out how hard it would be to get that rich.
@@blizzardgaming7070 ah ok
Note that I was murdered by a person that called me somebody that ate popcorn with a fork.
Edit: I now use this as an insult.
Edit edit: I still use this insult.
MEGA OUCH
Big oof
Astronomical insult
Ultra Digabodubabodibonkers
Not even flex tape can fix that damage-
Guys, if the rumors are true, I'm pretty sure Prince Phillip also breathed the day he died, coincidence? I think not!
"Think about it"
i also heard he we living in britain
im screwed
He also blinked...
Go back to your hydraulic press, Kokichi
Sorry jk. I love you purple fanta.
@@fifiannisa9639 👁💧👄💧👁
3:27 That was beautiful, we may not have Sorrow TV's versatile singing voice but we got the council of Jacks
I miss sorrow tv he had so much style
MarshallDoesStuff has some incredible reddit "musicals", I recommend his boot too big video
If Jack isn't a DM for a group of dysfunctional D&D addicts his voice is wasted, that's a live stream I'd watch the hell out of.
*Insert crying guy turning into dust meme*
“I’d frick a dolphin” that’s it, that’s all I wanted to say.
- Dr. Jotaro Kujo
BREAKING NEWS: Marine Biologist arrested for molesting a dolphin in SeaWorld.
"I WANTED TO HELP SAVE THE DOLPHINS!!"
He said In defence
This reminds me of that one Drunk History episodes
to be fair, they'd frick you, too
"There is no need for headphones" Well, that is the purist way to say you're privileged for not being noise sensitive and doesn't need music constantly playing in their ears so when things get to noisy they can just direct their hearing to the music in order to FUCKING COPE
(Totally not speaking from experience /s)
neurodiverse moment (also same)
I'll hopefully get noise cancelling headphones soon, since normal headphones tend to mess my sensory issues up even further...
But yes, absolutely agreed! My favorite teachers were always those going "you can just ignore the flickering lights then!" - no, I can't, that's the point
Not gonna lie, I didn't know noise sensitivity affected people without pre-existing issues (i.e. epilepsy, migraines, autism, advanced age, etc.) but that it is an issue in and of itself. Thanks and keep informing others! Also I hope you're coping well today.
SAME!
@@CubeGodd That and similar sensory issues have actually been moved to a diagnosis called "Sensory processing disorder" (if they are an issue of sensory processing), since it usually co-exists with autism it was part of an autism diagnosis before, but you don't have to be autistic to have SPD (I am, but I know people that aren't, and sensory issues suck nontheless).
I just wanna say, you need to keep an eye on a puppy too. Everytime I look away from my puppy he would instantly be in the trash trying to eat something that could kill him.
Yeah but some dogs just gravitate towards you and they don't learn harmful behaviors
Our dog didn't go through the trash since he was too short, but he did chew through, among other things, my laptop charger, a remote, two books, half of our throw pillows (I didn't miss them as much as my mom did), and my favorite mint chapstick before we finally got him to stop chewing shit.
Puppy Parent Solidarity over here.
"We we. Café. Croissant." Made me laugh
🥐
Why did I pronounce Café like кафе?-
Same definition but still...
oui oui*
We we кафе kwAHsaughnt.
I forgot how Cafe would be pronounced in French.
omelette du fromage
sandwich au pain
le fishe au poisson
me graduating from school be like:
I do not know how to get a job I do not know how to pay taxes
I do know that mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell
FUCKING SAME.
wow, totally original joke
Ditto
Something you also don't know is how to be original. Ya think we haven't heard that before?
Set your bills to autopay and you are golden!
I don't know what it is, but something about Jack's voice just makes these roast even better
5:54 "unexpectedly"? Prince Philip has looked like the living dead for at least a year
I think someone was just trying to be edgy and make it all about how great it is to be vaccine-free...as if you get to live to be 99 without at least one. XD
Did you mean last couple of decades?
When you can audition and get the role of The Cryptkeeper without needing make-up, sorry but it's your time...
14:01
Karen: "You can listen to the sounds of birds and nature... without wearing any artificial devices on your ear created by man"
Me: "I was born hearing impaired so I LITERALLY can't hear the sounds of nature without artificial devices in my ear"
The harmonizing baby rant was easily one of the greatest things I've heard
Things I love:
-Jack talking about the responsibility of having a child with big bill wurtz energy
-There are more things but they aren't relevent to the video
Has anyone else just binge watched this series bc you just found out and this came out?
I'm willing to!
Before I subbed yes.
Wait a minute...
@@octopusgaming9706 ..............
Mazel tov 🥳
Jack's chorus on the baby threw me so hard I couldn't stop laughing and I had to go back to hear the ad libs
13:03, unfortunately, the roaster themselves falls into the same trap that the roasted did. They assumed that just because their narrow section of the world has sweet cakes, that means all cakes are sweet and everything else is not cake. From Bahn da lon cakes in Vietnam, to Filipino bibingka cakes, and even freaking lemon drizzle cake: cakes are not just sweet. So the roaster is also narrow minded
Not to mention, the name “crab cake” is incredibly self explanatory
I mean, not really? They did ask the question, so they showed curiosity, which is a lot further ahead than the assumption that everyone knows your crap. Essentially, "not knowing everything" isn't the same level of ignorance as "assuming everyone knows your stuff".
Also "within walking distance of a school shooting" is a pretty brutal MBW.
@@wieldylattice3015sorry but how, youre right in not all cakes being sweet but still most are, and you try and go ask someone if they want a piece of cake and then show them crap cake and there is no way they wont be disappointed. Yes, not all cake is sweet but whem most people hear cake they assume sweetness
@@Ninjakiw1 Right, which is why you say "crab cake" and not just cake. It's kinda like getting pineapple or anchovies on pizza. You don't just say you have pizza, you say you have pizza WITH pineapple or anchovies because that detail is incredibly important
3:26
I want to take a moment to appreciate that the Council of Jack decided to make a musical about hell spawn- er- i mean- _children_
Jessica Christ
Your comments on the bit with the 15 year old girl who said hell hit home. That mother was my mother. And exactly what the person predicted is what happened.
Oof
I swear...Jack is the most creative narrator on this channel... followed closely ny Lexi and the Robin...All are awesome
He literally can't pronounce Mesopotamia, and, he can't pronounce a 4 letter name (Jens)
He has to be my least favorite narrator.
@@ChoccyMilk954 That's your opinion and i respect that
@@DenBed so.....what about Damien.
@@apeman9238 Damien is not currently with this channel...so..i didn't count him in...but he is great in his own right
@@DenBed yeah sadly. But he was the best.
as a british person i would like to apologise for our past behaviour and that it won't happen again (as long as a certain member of the royal family doesn't come into power)
As an American...fu*k it, in a lot of cases I'm sorry we exist.
How would you consider this to have aged?
@@wieldylattice3015 oh hell. pretty badly
@@gubnaby
Very.
Hoo boy...
3:26 top 10 anime theme songs
Lol I agree
That's an ad
@@myhand4272 okay? I bet the song banged
I love at 16:02 how she herself said " I will help you lose 5-10lbs " but at the same time, she doesn't have that time to use to help herself.
If she has no time, how will she find any time to do it herself? She probably supposed the other girl had more time
Finally, early Jack produced content I can enjoy
I'm irish. Everyone has to learn irish through school but forgets it after. But yeah the other part is pretty accurate.
3:30 A-f***king-men.
As someone who has spent decades in therapy to deal with the issues transmitted to me by my parents, just so I can be a good enough person to properly raise a child myself one day, this hits home so hard. I struggle everyday to become a better person so I don't accidentally raise another miserable, broken person by passing my problems onto them and as I get older I know my time is running out...
Then I see ungrateful POS who are spitting children out like their vagina is a clown car, making horrid, selfish decisions that will scar their children for life and treat them like inconvenient mistakes when it doesn't suit them to own up to the responsibility they chose to take on... and I wonder why I try so hard.
Having a child is a massive responsibility, not just financially or by committing the rest of your life to them, but also to raise them to be good people, hopefully better than you could ever hope to be. If you don't think you can handle that, then do the poor hypothetical child a favour and use one of the numerous contraceptive options available these days...
The world is already full of enough broken kids raised by selfish, mentally-ill children masquerading as adults. Your restraint won't effect the human race one iota, but it will save someone from living struggling with depression, anxiety, PTSD or a whole host of other problems because you wanted a f***king puppy, not to care for and shape a human being...
On second thoughts, don't make a poor puppy suffer either. Once it's no longer 'cute' you'll probably stuff it in a shelter because it ate your PS5 cord or something.
Even better, just go drink bleach so there's no risk of you breeding at all or abusing cute, fluffy pets.
Am I bitter? You're f***king right I am.
Although I pretty much agree that people shouldn't be giving birth to kids because it's 'cute' or anything, I wouldn't stop anybody from doing because from an age and then, they have the responsibility to make choices to change their lives. The 'I'm not having a child as its future probably will be miserable and demands huge responsibility' doesn't make anything better.
I panicked a bit when he said "Oh, Mars! You look so dirty!"
This is why we don't zone out while watching these videos. You zone back in at frightening times and briefly forget you named yourself after a planet.
10:11 the whole dolphin thing. This, Jack, is why you're my favorite. Not just Emkay narrator, but one of my favorite people on the planet.
4:15
Home Depot was being boycotted for, reasons no one could remember anymore, something dumb
And Dear Ol' Benny went to buy a plank of wood just to piss off those boycotters
Love how Jack just threw in a discount Bill Wurtz readthrough.
Jack is the best he's obviously the real test he always rhymes on time but Jack doesn't lack and he's my favourite in the pack
Best narrator is all of 'EM tbh
Note that Emkay ain't no throw away. See I've told you, Jack is pure as gold too, his voice is a bubble that won't ever be in rubble, he's a super duper king, and that's the thing, ain't nobody better, that makes me-
I'm gonna stop right there.
I love the full length essay come backs because you can feel the passion to put them down.
Montana: Californians are taking our land!
Me, an Aboriginal Canadian: Heh
"I'd frick the dolphins."
- Jack 2021
Is anyone gonna talk about how he pretty much lewded Mars?
The words that murdered my life
"u r poop"
- me
I'm waiting for someone to say "And I took that personally"
Oh wait, *I just did it*
@@officialseraphaze and i took that personally
12:34 Crab cakes and fishcakes exist in the Uk, Ireland, and other English-speaking nations, I'ma forgive this person for complaining, but it's not America this time, it's the burning Toilet fire that is the English language. Still, Not all English speakers are American, and not all English speakers are British!
ah thanks its nice to see us not being the blame for once.
Why tf did they get so mad someone directed another person on the Internet?
i LOVE when people try to argue with Steve Hofstetter omg. He's like a quick wit GOD
OMG, The Emkay crew turning the babies response into a kind of musical is hosnestly the greatest thing of this entire video and still makes me smile!
How would even begin to think that you could insult a comedian (especially a great one like Steve hofstetter) on the internet and expect to not get absolutely eviscerated.
15:45 I can already tell that the girl trying to “help” someone lose weight is an MLM hunbot trying to sell a crap product.-
3:26 I love Jack's multiple voices
The way Jack said "MUMMY!" is killing me
Ah yes,my favorite sub-reddit
1:35 As someone who is part Native American,that made me laugh
sToP sTEalinG AmeRiCAn JObS
That was me and not me at the same time.
It's so on-brand to see Steve Hofstetter in here. Dude's hilarious in such a genius way. Lol
I have never have been so early in any EmKay's videos.
same
"Anyone who isn't withing walking distance of a school shooting"
Jesus Christ, you don't have to do them that hard😂😂
The fact that some of these things still happen in 2021 just makes it more tempting for god to say "noah get the boat."
JACK!! TO MAKE UP FOR THE ROBIN FANART THAT HAPPENED LAST TIME, I SHALL MAKE FANART OF YOU
once I stop procrastinating, of course, but it’ll happen some time this year
Funni video: ua-cam.com/video/nw-yRHrJiNI/v-deo.html
IM HOLDING YOU TO IT
Due tomorrow?
Do tomorrow
We will watch with great interest
Rick roll
"Within walking distance of a school shooting"
I was sent to the office freshman year of high school (year 9 or just 9th grade for non Americans) because someone falsely claimed that I threatened to shoot up the school. I had my dad with me, the principal, and the chief of police trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
most consistent and honest UA-cam channel I have ever watched. To the people at EmKay, keep up all the great work!
"So you're saying dolphins aren't allowed to get their booty clapped" caught me completely off guard. Haven't laughed that hard in a while.
Please note that these are suggestions, and although I really wish for EmKay to cover them, they don't have to. As long as my comments don't get deleted, I'm fine.
Day 229 of asking for these subreddits:
Robin:
-r/sbubby
-r/KidsAre*******Stupid (doing this subreddit would be a good opportunity to add back Damien’s videos of it)
Jack:
-r/ComedyCemetery
-r/garfieldminusgarfield
-r/BreadStapledToTrees
Lexi:
-r/notlikeothergirls
-r/forbiddensnacks
-r/Chadtopia
-r/ofcoursethatsathing
Anyone:
-r/HumansBeingBros
-r/Wellthatsucks
And finally:
-A collaboration between Robin & Zach (have the subreddit be r/bonehurtingjuice)
Thanks! :D
I might have already said this but:
*We will watch your career with great interest*
2:54 As someone who enjoys astrology, I agree that Astrology is NOT a real science. It’s a hobby, which is okay, it’s important to have hobbies. But don’t be a douche and blame it on your astrology sign. (From what I understand,) Astrology says that people born in a specific time of the year are known to have specific traits. Your sign doesn’t GUARANTEE how you act.
like how jack had a stroke while starting the video it’s probably the closest we will get to a collab between r/murderedbywords and r/ihadastroke
i was just watching the sex offender shuffle
The ireland erasurw one reminded me of the english erasing welsh culture too.
I want to insult Gordon Ramsey so that I can say I’ve overcooked the Ramsey but I’ll never get to do that so someone else has to
Steve Hofstetter be having the best come backs.
"So it's fair for anyone who isn't within walking distance of a school shooting" Damn
Now I want a video where all of them present together and constantly talk over eachother
early also all y’all remember youre doing a good job
0:08: yes, just land on the inside of your foot. It causes a high ankle sprain, tearing all the ligaments in your foot, and it can fracture your leg at the same time. Happened to me tree years ago
10:50 Yo that's Steve Hofstetter! Dude's a comedian LEGENDARY for his passive roasting of hecklers! His youtube channel is loaded with him doing stuff like that on stage in front of audiences just because he gets so many drunk hecklers at his shows. XD. Cool to see him show up here!
I raised my hand on the being called fat one. I mean like. Seriously like dont blame It on the game. Some people just dont have ways to spread their anger in the correct way. (My coping mechanism may or may not have been bawling my eyes out until I went to sleep but eh who cares)
13:52 did he just call the ₹ (Indian Rupee) a £ (Pound Sterling)?
12:22 This strikes me as a self-own on the part of the person who asked. Saying "cakes are sweet and don't have claws" assumes that other cultures a) see the world the way you see it, and/or b) are obligated to conform to your definition of a word(s), so this person thinking they're entitled to criticize someone else for behaving as though they're "the whole [world]" is laughable. Besides that, an excessively 'emotional' question like "What the f is crab cake?!?!" is more likely to receive a sarcastic answer than a simple, "Could someone please explain the point of crab cakes?"
That got dark for a sec when the screen blanked and "i'd frick a dolphin" was all I heard. Creepy dark room tied up vibes
Let's appreciate the Redditors who are always giving us these subreddits for the Emkay team to read
9:39 4015 Divided by 5 equals 803 The child had to make and then sell 803 keychains, I know they’re doing it for a good cause but that sounds like child labor to me
Your voice changes are just epic and hilarious at the same time😂😂😍🔥love it😂
The gym post I 100% believe was an MLM hun setting up for their pitch. They went off script because they got mad instead of staying focused and working their biz like a bossbabe. 😂👍💫
I'm not entirely certain that the vitriol from the crab cakes post was really needed; I mean, the name was literally self-explanatory, some slight sarcasm wasn't really unexpected, but the follow-up...
Do you know why they're called crab cakes despite the fact that it's not really a cake?
@@TheTakato122 because they're a variant of fishcake, which also aren't cakes?
@@crpineo Yes, but do you know why fishcakes are called that?
@@TheTakato122 all I know is that the name is Asian in origin
Imagine words just aiming a High fire rate G18 and shooting it,it just....you just got murdered by words!
6:47 Neil forgot that they depended upon the outside's resources.
(And that they actually had resources they could use outside.)
I'd like to think that Jack is actually omnipresent and those voices aren't edited in but are actually just him speaking into the mic
4:41
Like Plankton and his robotic wife that he programed to humiliate and degrade him
Literally got an upvote just for how he did the post about babies being a responsibility
Pfft! You went "Alright you fantastical fart bags" like 2 seconds after I fart. Ah, life sometimes just lines things up.
The baby thing is so accurate. Why would I want to spend 18+ years of my life taking care of a loud obnoxious annoying person? I don't like kids, that's never going to change. I value my money and time, and while it's great people want to put their money and time into kids, and that's where they find a good portion of their value, I don't. I don't understand why some people believe that the life they want to live is the life everyone wants to/should live.
@@msmcwhore-mick I didn't say kids are the absolute worst...I just said I didn't personally like kids and would be a terrible fit as a mother because of how I view them. I'd never shame a kid for being "annoying" in my opinion. They are kids, that's how they are. It's not their fault that some random adult doesn't like being around things like that. And I also am not saying I don't want the absolute best for every kid born into this world. But I also shouldn't be expected to bend over backwards at how amazing children are for doing nothing. I don't find them cute, I wouldn't be a good mother, I am polite to kids because /they are human beings that deserve respect like the rest of us/, but I don't like kids, and I should be allowed to say that
14:39
Bruh "hell" isn't even a really curse word like grow up. Most adults have said curse words many times before. Like it's not that serious. As long as you aren't purposely offending someone with it who has a right to be offended with it, don't punish them. And taking their PHONE for 3 MONTHS is waay to extreme. What you need to do is calm the fuck down, give them back their phone, apologize, and not overreact about little shit like this
Also 13 years old is too young to have a phone.
The ankle rolling shown is an inversion injury while an eversion injury the foot points away from the other foot. Both suck lol.
8:56. "you goddamn Vitamin D-deficient circus clown"
I need to remember this insult and maybe use it in life
I’m watching this video while recovering from ankle surgery so that first post was extremely fitting
Nice vid-(pretty cursed to-)
It’s cursed yes. But nice vid ,]
Cursed is always fun
Fun ask: what is the best terraria mount?
I don’t know...
My favourite vanila mount is the shrimpy truffle,
And my favourite modded mount is the tundra leash
@@jarihoogendoorn5823 did u forget to switch accounts
@@Cosmo-lq6tb It's possible. It is also possible that they asked the question, then shared their personal opinion, to get other people to share theirs!
@@Cosmo-lq6tb i didnt, i just shared my own opinoin
Jokes on that man I get a rush from going 4mph over the speed limit.
13:36, best collab ever.
I love when dudes downplay period pain and compare it to other types of pain.
Like, yes, Brayden, I know (firsthand) that getting kicked in the balls hurts. Now imagine having that pain, for a continuous week+, every month, for forty+ years.
Have chronic pain here, shingles caused it, how does that hold up? Also the reason I'd assume period pains are so bad is you are literally popping out a chunk of yourself (idk I'm a guy) so it's probably like constant kidney stones.
5:44 I'm with them on this one. People don't die from old age everybody knows that 🙄
I can't tell if your joking right now
3:26 wow that was BEAUTIFUL. seems like a mix of bill wartz and the voice of a generic demonic entity in a blockbuster. BUT DAMN JACK, QUITE SOME TALENT YOU'VE GOT
"i know where you favorite stuffed animal is, and i will come for them" i almost screamed... You cant touch him. Most of my friends arent allowed to touch him.