I love how you focus not just on the foster kiddos being cared for, but the parents, too!! If we are going to break cycles of poverty, we NEED more people like you who will assist not just the kiddos, but the families!
So many bio-parents wouldn't need foster care if they had the same support. Just getting childcare so they can work without worry or leaving the kids alone too young would give a leg-up. Prevention is best.
Yep. So many children get removed because of poverty or homelessness.... if they gave that $400 and/or other resources to the bioparents they wouldn't need to tear families apart.
That's why I think European countries have a lot less children in foster care. You get Child Benefit in Germany it's ~200€ for each child regardless of parent income you tell the authorities you have a kid and get that each month on top of other benefits poor families get like unemployment, housing assistance, ... you have to Budget and stretch that of course you're not going to be rich of that but it helps kids that would in the US be removed just for their families poverty.
Helping parents access available help is really important too. In Georgia we have very limited free daycare for low income families but we do have some. Gathering the paperwork can be really hard though.
@@Serenity_yt Honestly, foster children in other Western countries are usually only there because they were genuinely abused by their parents rather than because they were living in poor families. And in third world countries, the children who are in the child welfare system because of poverty were usually placed there voluntarily by their parents rather than being taken away by social services.
In my state we are not allowed to remove children due to poverty or homelessness. We intervene and put in supports and pay for whatever bills to try and prevent removal as possible. Additionally, we can take them to places to apply for jobs and more.
Your point about considering childcare location reminded me of something from my own life. My family adopted my younger brother when he was 5 years old. My dad runs a preschool and my family found my younger brother because he attended my dad's school. My brother had two or three different foster families while attending my dad's school (before we adopted him). When my bother's foster family switched, my dad contacted the new family to help arrange transportation so my brother could continue attending his school instead of having to switch to a whole new preschool.
You’re dad sounds like an amazing human! That must have made things at least a little bit better for the kiddo while they were getting bounced around. God bless !
I had no idea foster closets were a thing! I have tons of old young adult/teen clothes and some childrens clothes from my nieces and nephews that I've been looking to donate. I'll have to see if I can donate to one!
I love this.. You are helping remove a stigma about foster care and showing there are good people who want to make a difference in the life of a child.
400??? Thats not much. Shocking! Here in germany foster parents get 850-1100€ per month depending on the age of the child. And then extra payments for the inital equipment (2500€), school supplies, summer holidays (200€), christmas (50€), initial school equipment (100€), transportation costs, costs for glasses/conact lenses... and so on. Its a long list and a lot of paper to fill out. Typical german bureaucracy 😀
Welcome to USAmerica. It’s a complete shitshow, especially as concerns children in need, or…just children in general. (Did you hear, a bunch of our states are trying to make child labor legal again! Children can have school lunch debt! I hate it here.)
I do not have foster children, but I do have children who have trauma, I am a mother with trauma, and there are a lot of things you do that teach me to parent my children better, and it's brought a lot of peace to our lives. You are an example of love and patience I strive to follow. Thank you ❤
Foster kiddos are also eligible for free meals with public schools, so please make sure to sign your foster kiddos up for the free meal programs with their schools. And your own household income does not affect eligibility either :)
I had almost no support, financial or otherwise, from the system. BUT, we took in a family member unexpectedly. The big takeaway: Work with a foster parent agency. The support we did not have would have been there if we had been a foster agency type family.
I’ll be honest I’ve dreamed of being a foster parent and since I was a little girl and it helps me feel like I can do this and when we’re ready we can do it with the help we’ve seen in these foster parent channels. Thank you!!!!❤
You are so parent and reunification positive and it’s beautiful. If only we put better supports in place for parents that struggle maybe we’d have less kids needing care.
thank you so much for doing what you do. i am the person who often sees the other side of this - i’m an addictions counselor and we often work closely with CPS in cases of removal due to the effects of addiction in the home. i also currently work in a long term residential rehab that accepts mothers with young children, so sometimes removal can be prevented. i wish there were more resources like this for mothers going through a hard time. in my time there we have helped a few children stay with their mothers and it has been an invaluable experience for me. while they are with us (usually 6-12 months), mom can learn to be a better parent in a supportive environment and often access resources that they may have been unaware of or previously did not qualify for. usually these cases are very complex. at this point they are one small step from a removal, and must follow the case plan pretty much 100%. thankfully i have not seen any children be removed once they have arrived at our residence. some of these mothers have been out of our care for many months or even a year or two and still have their children because once they realized what was about to happen, they did things right and took advantage of all the resources available, and continue to do so. however, i also work with many women who have lost their children, some temporarily, some permanently. it seems the best case is usually kinship care. i say this because it keeps the kids in a somewhat familiar environment and often they are very able and willing to work with bio mom. even when kinship care becomes permanent, often mom is able to retain some relationship with her children. however, for the cases where this is not an option (and there are many), a good foster parent is invaluable. thank you so much for what you do, giving these kids a home where they can feel safe. and also thank you for these videos that are a fantastic resource for current or potential foster parents!
I wish I could foster! I can’t have kids and I would love to help those to need a safe and stable home while their parents work on whatever they need to. You’re truly a blessing and an Angel for these kids and their parents!
Thank you; I have been thinking about taking on this support role for our community. Watching your videos are helpful for general info. Blessing - I’ll be making a donation as your other video requested. Thank you again!
Also check out the buynothing groups in your area! Especially for kids under the teenager stage, there are SO many people giving away clothes, toys, games, bedding, etc. that may line up with your foster kiddo's interest. I buy the little kids in my care an outfit every once in a while when something catches either their eye or mine, but for the most part we get stuff secondhand from buynothing and go through it together, deciding what to keep and what to pass along.
@Mimi Julene is right. Benefits for foster children do not depend on how much the foster family makes. If a child is in foster care they automatically get WIC (I believe this is only for children under 5, however) as well as free meals at school.
However, if you are asking for your own family or thinking about options for the foster child's bio family, then yes, there are qualifications based on income as @Kyra Standing mentioned. That is a good thing to think about when trying to support the bio family during reunification.
I dont believe it should be tight and just enough to cover the kids. Being a foster parent is draining. Taking on others children should be reimbursed. Especially when you're facing court hearings, visitation, behavior problems and so on. Opening up your home and putting yourself through emotional trauma (reunification) should be reimbursed properly
@Ludmila Maiolini what exactly is wrong about that? You think daycare workers aren't doing it for the money? Properly paying people for giving a loving home is not a bad thing. And if we could increase more loving homes by properly reimbursing foster parents, then we should do it. It's not as if the legal requirements of the homes would lessen by paying foster families for all of the work they do/responsibilities they take on. It can be a loving home and still be reimbursed fairly. Many families would love to foster but don't because they can't financially afford to have 1 parent stay home, which is typically preferred for foster care. Paying them properly for fostering would open up many amazing homes.
@@missscarlet7902 The problem would be with those people who would only do it for the money, and only see the children as an easy way to complement income. Of course not everyone would be like that, but some would. Besides, if people quit their jobs to foster, they would lose that income with reunification, so there’s incentive to keep children in foster care
There are already people who make their foster children suffer so they (the foster parents) can pocket the money, you think giving them even more money wouldn't just exacerbate the problem?
I’m not a foster parent but to hear all these things that they do to help foster parents, it sorta makes me a bit sad only because we are desperately struggling to keep food on the table, rent paid, and utilities on. We can’t even get childcare because it is so incredibly expensive and we already can’t survive
Some of the options that she mentioned are federal programs, so you may be able to apply. WiC and SNAP help with food, several states provide help with utility and childcare costs, and I really recommend checking out your state's Medicaid. I know a couple of states consider qualifying for Medicaid an automatic qualification for other programs. Good luck
I struggle with this mindset …on one hand I see you and agree on needing more support. On the other I just don’t understand how we have so many adults in society who have just failed so bad in so many ways. At what point do you shine a mirror and say..seriously what the hella are you doing in life and why are you not changing it? If you truly cannot afford food, basic bills etc. and have kids you had to have made entire storybooks of really really bad choices in life. I get help is needed (and we donate tons) but its also super frustrating to see so many function as total and complete train wrecks as adults. I grew up in a mostly upper middle class area and my husband somewhat managed to escape a childhood rooted in dysfunctional poverty although repairing from the damage and massively screwed up mindsets he was exposed to will never stop. How do we help as a society but also build framework around personal responsibility?
@@lijohnyoutube101 while I do get that their are factors a significant amount of people fall into that are holding them in poverty such as drug or alcohol use. Out of control spending and teen pregnancy. It is also very possible to be in poverty or be in need of help out of no fault of their own. College and higher education is not a viable option to every 18 year old. It is very possible to end up and stay in a minimum wage job and not advance out of it. Or to fall into last one hire first one fired mood. It can be out of someone's control that their hours get cut not everyone can afford to own a car or be physically able to drive. Some people have disabilities and others have injuries or medical conditions. Some people are victims of domestic abuse. Had a friend whose first baby is the product of her father selling her for drugs. Though there are many helps once you have a child you can be very vulnerable. Not everyone has family or quality friends or reliable transportation some people choose to stay in less than ideal relationships because the alternative of having children on the streets is worse. Sometimes a person might stay with the father of children because leaving opening up a custody battle that puts children unsupervised with a potential abuser and there is the burden of proof or people are gaslight into needing to stay or it's because of religion. Maybe it's because of full fledged abuse or maybe the partner is horrible with money or is making bad choices or has bad luck or injuries. Childcare at a daycare fully out of pocket for 2 kids exceeds a minimum wage earner. Sometimes there are little options for daycare I got employment related daycare but my son refused potty training and didn't conform to a preschool classroom protocol my son still is incontinent I got judged very heavily that it was a bad parenting issue until others tried and failed and made things worse. Who would be patient enough for my son became difficult. I can not stick him in a traditional daycare center or an at home daycare he needs to be in a setting people can handle high maintenance or be in a setting of more adults to children. I got him into headstart and that helped he is in kindergarten now and his teacher can handle him but not the after school program teachers. The combination of limited childcare, an entry level job for an unskilled laboror, and being unable to drive and dependent on the bus system that further cuts into my work availablity and even if I had a full time job I might not be eligible to move into a market value apartment. Are there was I can be less of a fuck up? Are there was to get my shit together better? Yes. I went to community college. I never did drugs or alcohol or gambling. I waited to have kids until I was married. But I didn't pick a winner. And things are tough. I am grateful for all I have been blessed with all the help. I do need to figure out how to get out of this pit and surely if I was more organized I could maximize the options and resources available to me. But the idea that I could entirely be free of aid if I just wasn't such a screw up is a bit harsh. People too often are not set up for success. And where I live there is a very real affordable housing crisis. I would love to not need help but that's a world that feels impossibly far away.
@@lemonadewithniecey yup fundamentally we have a society where minimum wage isn’t a liveable wage - and someone is always going to have to do those jobs so it’s so illogical when someone says “anyone” can escape poverty. No, life doesn’t work that way - you may have but it’s not because you’re a better person or necessarily worked harder or better. A lot of luck is involved. I grew up very working class. My life is now very comfortable and I guess middle class in that I’m an accountant with a university education behind me. But honestly - a lot of that is luck. I did work hard but no harder than people who have very different lives to me. I just happened to have certain talents academically and I was fortunate enough to go to uni and my life branched out from there. But I don’t deserve what I got even though I “worked” for it. I was in many ways just lucky.
@@lemonadewithniecey she said she was upper middle class. Most people in that category have a silver spoon and never went through even a quarter of what someone who in poverty goes through. They can't understand unless they're a very empathetic person which is rare.
I am so glad you said the part about bio parents not getting support. it's absolutely crushing how much support the fosters get and how comparatively very little is given to actual families. the US needs to be better.
We only care about kids as so far as they haven't been born yet. And it's awful. I have some autoimmune and learning disabilities but wasn't able to figure them out until college because my parents didn't know the signs. And my mom has a health care background! Their lack of support and lack of information has now led me to have complications that could have been avoided had there been more systems in place to help parents with kids like me. And it's so easy to be angry at them because if you do a quick search of any of my behaviors or symptoms the diagnosis comes right up. But it's not their fault. No one told them they should be looking. I always did just well enough that I got "Smart but lazy" on report cards. Laura is 100% right. It's not fair that just foster parents get training and inspections and resources. How many of these issues could be avoided if we gave bio parents the same?
I’m in IL and doing kinship care, we only get $388/ Mo. Technically I’m sure this covers their food each month but it doesn’t help with the added electricity, water, sewer and trash that is added by the child. It also certainly does not provide for an extras or putting them in sports or other activities.
I'm still young (20)(f)and single, are there any barriers to fostering I should know about? My main concern though, is wether or not you can decide to only do certain ages of kids. And if you can, is it conscionable as the system currently is? I have anxiety build up over fear of little kids, but I would love to give teenagers and older kids a safe space to be.
It may depend on your agency but in general yes! You can specify which ages you are able to foster! And though it varies I think in general there is a big need for foster families for older children/teens. A good foster home at that age can be so impactful as well.
JK Rowling was wlefare dependent with her baby as she left a DV situation in the UK. Thank god she had the government's support to care for her own baby. Then she paid it back by giving us Harry 🙏
She said any leftover money not spent on the child's needs should be either saved to make bigger purchuses for the child, or used to get a gift card to give to the child, or given as cash to the child/bio parent at reunification. I wish there was a way for agencies to ENFORCE this practice so there aren't any foster "parents" abusing the system and stealing money that belongs to the child.
Just think of it we’re a program like foster but parents were able to help before child services gets called in. Like you need extra help and support and leaving DV and you can have a directory of something similar like foster care to take your kids and come back when prepared and child services never has to get involved. The state could still support the fosters the way they do.
Found you on a short, but I personally don't like those and I'm only on here. Someday in my future, I'm going to be either an adoption or foster care parent. And I've only ever heard the bad, not the practical side and the coping mechanisms to employ. Please keep making all the videos!
Not all children who are in foster care have unloving parents. Some parents are sick and can't look after the kids, some die, sometimes there's an emergency or the house needs to be fixed or cleaned but that doesn't mean the children are unwanted. What a very sad assumption to make😢
@@CariBarbour I thought they were talking about foster parents - there are more foster kids than foster parents so "no one wants these kids" issue I thought was about THAT. If they paid more money then maybe more people would sign up to be foster parents.
My mom used to use this program where you could get free formula and baby food, it really helped since my sister ate 6 jars of baby food per day and we were too poor to pay for it back then. I don't have the name for it, if I did I'd post it here, sorry.
Sounds like she might have used WIC benefits... You get formula, baby food, milk, beans, and some other products that I can't recall offhand. It's very helpful to a lot of parents but if I remember correctly you had a very finite list of covered items, so you could get formula but only these certain brands and sizes. Or your mom could've used EBT benefits, which technically covers all unprepared food products but it sounds like it was WIC.
@Debbie Harris I have no idea, but these sound great. I just don't have a lot of memories from when I was 5 years old since my life back then was a bit chaotic with my dad having a few screws loose.
I love how you focus not just on the foster kiddos being cared for, but the parents, too!! If we are going to break cycles of poverty, we NEED more people like you who will assist not just the kiddos, but the families!
So many bio-parents wouldn't need foster care if they had the same support. Just getting childcare so they can work without worry or leaving the kids alone too young would give a leg-up. Prevention is best.
Yep. So many children get removed because of poverty or homelessness.... if they gave that $400 and/or other resources to the bioparents they wouldn't need to tear families apart.
That's why I think European countries have a lot less children in foster care. You get Child Benefit in Germany it's ~200€ for each child regardless of parent income you tell the authorities you have a kid and get that each month on top of other benefits poor families get like unemployment, housing assistance, ... you have to Budget and stretch that of course you're not going to be rich of that but it helps kids that would in the US be removed just for their families poverty.
Helping parents access available help is really important too. In Georgia we have very limited free daycare for low income families but we do have some. Gathering the paperwork can be really hard though.
@@Serenity_yt Honestly, foster children in other Western countries are usually only there because they were genuinely abused by their parents rather than because they were living in poor families. And in third world countries, the children who are in the child welfare system because of poverty were usually placed there voluntarily by their parents rather than being taken away by social services.
In my state we are not allowed to remove children due to poverty or homelessness. We intervene and put in supports and pay for whatever bills to try and prevent removal as possible. Additionally, we can take them to places to apply for jobs and more.
Your point about considering childcare location reminded me of something from my own life. My family adopted my younger brother when he was 5 years old. My dad runs a preschool and my family found my younger brother because he attended my dad's school. My brother had two or three different foster families while attending my dad's school (before we adopted him). When my bother's foster family switched, my dad contacted the new family to help arrange transportation so my brother could continue attending his school instead of having to switch to a whole new preschool.
You’re dad sounds like an amazing human! That must have made things at least a little bit better for the kiddo while they were getting bounced around. God bless !
I had no idea foster closets were a thing! I have tons of old young adult/teen clothes and some childrens clothes from my nieces and nephews that I've been looking to donate. I'll have to see if I can donate to one!
I love this.. You are helping remove a stigma about foster care and showing there are good people who want to make a difference in the life of a child.
400??? Thats not much. Shocking!
Here in germany foster parents get 850-1100€ per month depending on the age of the child. And then extra payments for the inital equipment (2500€), school supplies, summer holidays (200€), christmas (50€), initial school equipment (100€), transportation costs, costs for glasses/conact lenses... and so on. Its a long list and a lot of paper to fill out. Typical german bureaucracy 😀
Welcome to USAmerica. It’s a complete shitshow, especially as concerns children in need, or…just children in general. (Did you hear, a bunch of our states are trying to make child labor legal again! Children can have school lunch debt! I hate it here.)
I do not have foster children, but I do have children who have trauma, I am a mother with trauma, and there are a lot of things you do that teach me to parent my children better, and it's brought a lot of peace to our lives. You are an example of love and patience I strive to follow. Thank you ❤
What beautiful words! Wishing you all the best of everything!❤
Foster kiddos are also eligible for free meals with public schools, so please make sure to sign your foster kiddos up for the free meal programs with their schools. And your own household income does not affect eligibility either :)
I had almost no support, financial or otherwise, from the system. BUT, we took in a family member unexpectedly. The big takeaway: Work with a foster parent agency. The support we did not have would have been there if we had been a foster agency type family.
I’ll be honest I’ve dreamed of being a foster parent and since I was a little girl and it helps me feel like I can do this and when we’re ready we can do it with the help we’ve seen in these foster parent channels. Thank you!!!!❤
You are so parent and reunification positive and it’s beautiful. If only we put better supports in place for parents that struggle maybe we’d have less kids needing care.
thank you so much for doing what you do. i am the person who often sees the other side of this - i’m an addictions counselor and we often work closely with CPS in cases of removal due to the effects of addiction in the home.
i also currently work in a long term residential rehab that accepts mothers with young children, so sometimes removal can be prevented. i wish there were more resources like this for mothers going through a hard time. in my time there we have helped a few children stay with their mothers and it has been an invaluable experience for me. while they are with us (usually 6-12 months), mom can learn to be a better parent in a supportive environment and often access resources that they may have been unaware of or previously did not qualify for.
usually these cases are very complex. at this point they are one small step from a removal, and must follow the case plan pretty much 100%. thankfully i have not seen any children be removed once they have arrived at our residence. some of these mothers have been out of our care for many months or even a year or two and still have their children because once they realized what was about to happen, they did things right and took advantage of all the resources available, and continue to do so.
however, i also work with many women who have lost their children, some temporarily, some permanently. it seems the best case is usually kinship care. i say this because it keeps the kids in a somewhat familiar environment and often they are very able and willing to work with bio mom. even when kinship care becomes permanent, often mom is able to retain some relationship with her children.
however, for the cases where this is not an option (and there are many), a good foster parent is invaluable. thank you so much for what you do, giving these kids a home where they can feel safe. and also thank you for these videos that are a fantastic resource for current or potential foster parents!
I wish I could foster! I can’t have kids and I would love to help those to need a safe and stable home while their parents work on whatever they need to. You’re truly a blessing and an Angel for these kids and their parents!
Definitely need more people like you in this world, thanks for what you do!!
So true, if they could have all the childcare & access to resources they might manage better in some cases.
Thank you; I have been thinking about taking on this support role for our community. Watching your videos are helpful for general info. Blessing - I’ll be making a donation as your other video requested. Thank you again!
Also check out the buynothing groups in your area! Especially for kids under the teenager stage, there are SO many people giving away clothes, toys, games, bedding, etc. that may line up with your foster kiddo's interest. I buy the little kids in my care an outfit every once in a while when something catches either their eye or mine, but for the most part we get stuff secondhand from buynothing and go through it together, deciding what to keep and what to pass along.
God bless you!! These kids and families are so lucky to have you on their side! Thank you for educating us on how this all works.
I wonder if you have to qualify for WIC or if you can get it no matter how much your family makes.
You have to qualify based on income, it depends on what state you live in and how large your household is ❤
In most states the child qualifies because they are in Foster care. The foster parents income is not considered.
I remembered today that if the child is school age and in Foster Care they should qualify for free meals at school too.
@Mimi Julene is right. Benefits for foster children do not depend on how much the foster family makes. If a child is in foster care they automatically get WIC (I believe this is only for children under 5, however) as well as free meals at school.
However, if you are asking for your own family or thinking about options for the foster child's bio family, then yes, there are qualifications based on income as @Kyra Standing mentioned. That is a good thing to think about when trying to support the bio family during reunification.
I dont believe it should be tight and just enough to cover the kids. Being a foster parent is draining. Taking on others children should be reimbursed. Especially when you're facing court hearings, visitation, behavior problems and so on. Opening up your home and putting yourself through emotional trauma (reunification) should be reimbursed properly
But then you’d have people doing that for the money
@Ludmila Maiolini what exactly is wrong about that? You think daycare workers aren't doing it for the money? Properly paying people for giving a loving home is not a bad thing. And if we could increase more loving homes by properly reimbursing foster parents, then we should do it. It's not as if the legal requirements of the homes would lessen by paying foster families for all of the work they do/responsibilities they take on. It can be a loving home and still be reimbursed fairly. Many families would love to foster but don't because they can't financially afford to have 1 parent stay home, which is typically preferred for foster care. Paying them properly for fostering would open up many amazing homes.
@@missscarlet7902 The problem would be with those people who would only do it for the money, and only see the children as an easy way to complement income. Of course not everyone would be like that, but some would. Besides, if people quit their jobs to foster, they would lose that income with reunification, so there’s incentive to keep children in foster care
@@ludmilamaiolini6811 exactly. This is the same reason there's no money in show bunnies
There are already people who make their foster children suffer so they (the foster parents) can pocket the money, you think giving them even more money wouldn't just exacerbate the problem?
How would I find information about donating to a foster closet?
$400 per month is absolutely not enough. That’s so messed up
I’m not a foster parent but to hear all these things that they do to help foster parents, it sorta makes me a bit sad only because we are desperately struggling to keep food on the table, rent paid, and utilities on. We can’t even get childcare because it is so incredibly expensive and we already can’t survive
Some of the options that she mentioned are federal programs, so you may be able to apply. WiC and SNAP help with food, several states provide help with utility and childcare costs, and I really recommend checking out your state's Medicaid. I know a couple of states consider qualifying for Medicaid an automatic qualification for other programs. Good luck
I struggle with this mindset …on one hand I see you and agree on needing more support. On the other I just don’t understand how we have so many adults in society who have just failed so bad in so many ways. At what point do you shine a mirror and say..seriously what the hella are you doing in life and why are you not changing it?
If you truly cannot afford food, basic bills etc. and have kids you had to have made entire storybooks of really really bad choices in life.
I get help is needed (and we donate tons) but its also super frustrating to see so many function as total and complete train wrecks as adults. I grew up in a mostly upper middle class area and my husband somewhat managed to escape a childhood rooted in dysfunctional poverty although repairing from the damage and massively screwed up mindsets he was exposed to will never stop. How do we help as a society but also build framework around personal responsibility?
@@lijohnyoutube101 while I do get that their are factors a significant amount of people fall into that are holding them in poverty such as drug or alcohol use. Out of control spending and teen pregnancy. It is also very possible to be in poverty or be in need of help out of no fault of their own. College and higher education is not a viable option to every 18 year old. It is very possible to end up and stay in a minimum wage job and not advance out of it. Or to fall into last one hire first one fired mood. It can be out of someone's control that their hours get cut not everyone can afford to own a car or be physically able to drive. Some people have disabilities and others have injuries or medical conditions. Some people are victims of domestic abuse. Had a friend whose first baby is the product of her father selling her for drugs. Though there are many helps once you have a child you can be very vulnerable. Not everyone has family or quality friends or reliable transportation some people choose to stay in less than ideal relationships because the alternative of having children on the streets is worse. Sometimes a person might stay with the father of children because leaving opening up a custody battle that puts children unsupervised with a potential abuser and there is the burden of proof or people are gaslight into needing to stay or it's because of religion. Maybe it's because of full fledged abuse or maybe the partner is horrible with money or is making bad choices or has bad luck or injuries. Childcare at a daycare fully out of pocket for 2 kids exceeds a minimum wage earner. Sometimes there are little options for daycare I got employment related daycare but my son refused potty training and didn't conform to a preschool classroom protocol my son still is incontinent I got judged very heavily that it was a bad parenting issue until others tried and failed and made things worse. Who would be patient enough for my son became difficult. I can not stick him in a traditional daycare center or an at home daycare he needs to be in a setting people can handle high maintenance or be in a setting of more adults to children. I got him into headstart and that helped he is in kindergarten now and his teacher can handle him but not the after school program teachers. The combination of limited childcare, an entry level job for an unskilled laboror, and being unable to drive and dependent on the bus system that further cuts into my work availablity and even if I had a full time job I might not be eligible to move into a market value apartment. Are there was I can be less of a fuck up? Are there was to get my shit together better? Yes. I went to community college. I never did drugs or alcohol or gambling. I waited to have kids until I was married. But I didn't pick a winner. And things are tough. I am grateful for all I have been blessed with all the help. I do need to figure out how to get out of this pit and surely if I was more organized I could maximize the options and resources available to me. But the idea that I could entirely be free of aid if I just wasn't such a screw up is a bit harsh. People too often are not set up for success. And where I live there is a very real affordable housing crisis. I would love to not need help but that's a world that feels impossibly far away.
@@lemonadewithniecey yup fundamentally we have a society where minimum wage isn’t a liveable wage - and someone is always going to have to do those jobs so it’s so illogical when someone says “anyone” can escape poverty. No, life doesn’t work that way - you may have but it’s not because you’re a better person or necessarily worked harder or better. A lot of luck is involved.
I grew up very working class. My life is now very comfortable and I guess middle class in that I’m an accountant with a university education behind me. But honestly - a lot of that is luck. I did work hard but no harder than people who have very different lives to me.
I just happened to have certain talents academically and I was fortunate enough to go to uni and my life branched out from there. But I don’t deserve what I got even though I “worked” for it. I was in many ways just lucky.
@@lemonadewithniecey she said she was upper middle class. Most people in that category have a silver spoon and never went through even a quarter of what someone who in poverty goes through. They can't understand unless they're a very empathetic person which is rare.
If you know where a parent works, try for daycare near there instead.
I am so glad you said the part about bio parents not getting support. it's absolutely crushing how much support the fosters get and how comparatively very little is given to actual families. the US needs to be better.
We only care about kids as so far as they haven't been born yet. And it's awful. I have some autoimmune and learning disabilities but wasn't able to figure them out until college because my parents didn't know the signs. And my mom has a health care background! Their lack of support and lack of information has now led me to have complications that could have been avoided had there been more systems in place to help parents with kids like me. And it's so easy to be angry at them because if you do a quick search of any of my behaviors or symptoms the diagnosis comes right up. But it's not their fault. No one told them they should be looking. I always did just well enough that I got "Smart but lazy" on report cards. Laura is 100% right. It's not fair that just foster parents get training and inspections and resources. How many of these issues could be avoided if we gave bio parents the same?
I’m in IL and doing kinship care, we only get $388/ Mo. Technically I’m sure this covers their food each month but it doesn’t help with the added electricity, water, sewer and trash that is added by the child. It also certainly does not provide for an extras or putting them in sports or other activities.
i really agree with the last part
you are a amazing soul thank you so much for making these videos God Bless you
Thank-you for doing these little videos. Insightful 🙂
I'm still young (20)(f)and single, are there any barriers to fostering I should know about?
My main concern though, is wether or not you can decide to only do certain ages of kids. And if you can, is it conscionable as the system currently is?
I have anxiety build up over fear of little kids, but I would love to give teenagers and older kids a safe space to be.
It may depend on your agency but in general yes! You can specify which ages you are able to foster! And though it varies I think in general there is a big need for foster families for older children/teens. A good foster home at that age can be so impactful as well.
@@sthomson06 thank you. That makes me feel much better
@@christaphillips953 If you don't mind answering, why are you afraid of little kids?
@@KyrstOak I suppose I'm not afraid of them, but afraid for them. Kinda hard to explain in a UA-cam comment
@@christaphillips953 Try your best. A lot of people are better at explaining than they give themselves credit for.
What can we do to help stock ‘foster closets’?
Off topic but your eyes are beautiful!
I wish all foster parents were like you.
You are an angel
Your last point hit home 😢..... yes. If the bio parents had this support there may be less instances of children being removed.
JK Rowling was wlefare dependent with her baby as she left a DV situation in the UK. Thank god she had the government's support to care for her own baby. Then she paid it back by giving us Harry 🙏
How do we donate to foster closets?
Sorry but you shouldn’t be a foster parent if you’re trying to make money off of it.
where in her video did she say she was making money off of it? In fact, she states quite the opposite -- that the money you receive should be 'tight'
She said any leftover money not spent on the child's needs should be either saved to make bigger purchuses for the child, or used to get a gift card to give to the child, or given as cash to the child/bio parent at reunification. I wish there was a way for agencies to ENFORCE this practice so there aren't any foster "parents" abusing the system and stealing money that belongs to the child.
Just think of it we’re a program like foster but parents were able to help before child services gets called in. Like you need extra help and support and leaving DV and you can have a directory of something similar like foster care to take your kids and come back when prepared and child services never has to get involved. The state could still support the fosters the way they do.
Nope
No help till it’s too late to help
The American way
Found you on a short, but I personally don't like those and I'm only on here. Someday in my future, I'm going to be either an adoption or foster care parent. And I've only ever heard the bad, not the practical side and the coping mechanisms to employ. Please keep making all the videos!
Do you need any special schooling to foster?
you will go through training , but you don't need post high school degrees.
Idk man. Paying extra may help w the whole no one wants these kids issue
Not all children who are in foster care have unloving parents. Some parents are sick and can't look after the kids, some die, sometimes there's an emergency or the house needs to be fixed or cleaned but that doesn't mean the children are unwanted. What a very sad assumption to make😢
@@CariBarbour I thought they were talking about foster parents - there are more foster kids than foster parents so "no one wants these kids" issue I thought was about THAT. If they paid more money then maybe more people would sign up to be foster parents.
My mom used to use this program where you could get free formula and baby food, it really helped since my sister ate 6 jars of baby food per day and we were too poor to pay for it back then.
I don't have the name for it, if I did I'd post it here, sorry.
Bio mom btw, I was never in the foster system, just feel like that's something I should've mentioned.
Sounds like she might have used WIC benefits... You get formula, baby food, milk, beans, and some other products that I can't recall offhand. It's very helpful to a lot of parents but if I remember correctly you had a very finite list of covered items, so you could get formula but only these certain brands and sizes. Or your mom could've used EBT benefits, which technically covers all unprepared food products but it sounds like it was WIC.
@Debbie Harris I have no idea, but these sound great. I just don't have a lot of memories from when I was 5 years old since my life back then was a bit chaotic with my dad having a few screws loose.