Difference is Brando developed an ego after the world saw his talents as the best actor in the world and later grew out of it. Seagal had a massive ego even before becoming a celebrity and after becoming a has-been.
I practiced Aikido for a couple years, my teacher was in two of Segal's early movies- trained under Segal and was also a Black Belt. My "sensei" had cut Segal out of his life by 1999, and absolutely hated him. Even though he never said it- it was obvious. Apparently- Segal became a disgusting pig after becoming famous.
My story is lackluster but he was at my doctor's office and his poor assistant fell asleep in the lobby, when Seagal came out he practically jumped to attention. He walked into the area waiting for us to fawn but ..no.
Feel free to listen to the Behind the Bastards episodes on him and how he is a terrible piece of shit who deserves to rot in prison and to rest in piss.
Funny enough. I feel like you could really get under his skin by saying "No I'm pretty sure sex for the first time was the best experience of my life." He would at the very least say "No, it wasn't."
What’s funny is “I met Segal once” works better than “I met Segal twice” Your interaction couldn’t have been that crazy if the two of you met a second time
My favorite Seagal story was recently told by Dana carvey. They're rehearsing the Hans and Franz sketch where the two of them are constantly referring to Seagal as weaker than Arnold. The whole comedic premise is based on their worship of Arnold and how everyone else is a girlyman by comparison. So in the middle of rehearsal, Seagal storms off the set. Dana finds him angrily sulking and asks what's wrong and Seagal replies "I wish Arnold really was here so I could kick his fuckin' ass..."
There was a movie where Steven Segal was supposed to die in the first 10 minutes of the movie. After agreeing to the movie, he then refused to 'die'...so they told him they rewrote the part, and he survives the death scene, then after filming the death scene, they left him in his trailer for a month, him thinking he was going to get called out to do the ' survive' scene...then they wrapped.
Tom Segura should make a three-hour documentary that entirely consists of celebrities telling their best Steven Seagal stories. That documentary would have a part 2, part 3, part 4, & etc, because there are so many celebrities that think Seagal is a phucking moron/narcissistic nimrod/etc. It would sweep at the Oscars.
Cage may be a weirdo, eccentric and outright strange, but i'd gladly have a few beers with him and listen to his crazy ass ideas and stories... Segal on the other hand, i couldn't wait to get back to my buddies so we could have a few beers and bask in just how incredibly batshit crazy he is...
The way Franken tells that Cage part of the story it sounds like it was a spontaneous thing. It wasn’t; it was actually Cage’s scripted open and the response from Lorne was all part of it. I remember watching it live.
"See that helicopter over there? They call that a skippy. Cuz it goes skipskipskipskipskip." One of my favourite jokes. I love the Segal bit. Please Tom. Consider making another.
I can't tell if Tom is the dog who finally caught the car or a child who got everything they wanted on Christmas morning but his vibe during this whole clip is immaculate
My friends were in line at a Starbucks in Orange County behind a fat guy dressed in black. One of them whispered to the others "That guy is trying to look like Steven Seagal." The guy turned around and said "I AM Steven Seagal," which made them all laugh hysterically.
@@alphabetsoup6837 Since the story doesn't continue with "And then the guy assaulted my friends for laughing" it probably wasn't actually Steven Seagal.
I was a manager at Bass Pro Shop in AZ. Seagal was a regular customer, yearly, not weekly. There are a lot of Seagal is the worst customer ever stories around that place.
My dad had a Steven Seagal story. My dad was a paramedic, and after he retired from the Chicago Fire Department, he got a job with the local Motion Picture Union as an emergency medic. Union rules require a medic on set at all times. He mostly just handed out Aspirin and cold medicine. He worked on almost every movie, tv show, commercial, or music video filmed in Chicago from the late 80's to the early 2000's. One of them was Steven Seagal's first movie Above the Law. So, my dad was there when that infamous scene, of the funny way that Steven Seagal runs, was filmed. He said Seagal was one of the most obnoxious celebrities he encountered. Above the law was Seagal's first movie and the guy was already a total diva with a gigantic ego. He was really into Native American spiritualism and had a shaman on staff who would purify the set with sage smoke and song every day before filming. Along with that he had this big ball of pungent smelling herbs that he insisted on having nearby, whenever he was working, to "set the mood". Eventually, the strong, ever-present smell of these weird herbs on set started getting to people. It was making everyone sick to the point that a few people actually even threw up because of it. He wouldn't work without it though.
Sounds like he was doing smudging but he fucked up the herbs or something, maybe just overexposure to the smoke made the people sick. Also if I remember correctly, you don't need to smudge on more than a weekly basis, much less busting out a shaman every day at work to "purify" your workplace and subject your co-workers to sage, sweetgrass and tobacco smoke. Seagal is a jackass of the highest order.
@@michaelm.2736 I think the smoke was only used before work began. The smell that was bothering people came from the big bundle of dry herbs. My dad described it like a thick tumbleweed. So, definitely bigger than a basketball.
A friend was thrilled he was , as a key grip with ACTRA , was going to be working on the new Kung Fun TV show shot in Toronto. He was a huge David Carridane Fan and was hyped for the up coming gig. A few weeks later my friend was having a weekend lunch party and was puttering around his kitchen cooking and getting everything ready but not saying a word about the new gig. So I prodded and asked, "SO. How's it going working on the set with David Carridine? " He immediately lost his smile and glared at me saying, "David is fucking drunken asshole." and that was all he had to say about that.
@@Phukugoooglification Yeah. Sometimes that’s just how it is. My dad actually had a bunch of stories like that. It’s always a surprise too. Leaves you thinking, “That guy? Really? Never would have suspected that.” My dad would drop those stories like a bomb too. After watching and movie or tv show and saying “Wasn’t So&So good in that?” That’s when he would drop a reality bomb on you, and give you the story. He wouldn’t even watch anything that had Bill Cosby in it, for example.
The funniest story I've heard about Seagal, is that his first movie role, and basically by extension, _his entire career_ only happened because of a dare between two Hollywood agents. The story goes that there was a 'super agent' in Hollywood who had claimed that his reputation was so powerful he could make literally _anyone_ famous, so his friend, another Hollywood agent, took him up on that challenge. He dared him to find the dumbest, most un-charismatic, un-talented nobody, and turn them into a star, just for a laugh. This agent was already aware of Steven Seagal because Seagal had done a little bit of work in Hollywood and had actually done behind the scenes work for a couple of Bond movies. He was a stunt coordinator for an Akido-based movie called The Challenge, a martial arts instructor for the Bond film Never Say Never Again (during which he allegedly broke Sean Connerys wrist during production), and a choreographer on A View To A Kill two years later. So this agent knew who Seagal was, and also knew what a dull moron he was too, so he easily convinced Seagal that he "has what it takes" and he should _definitely_ get into acting. He then referred Seagal to a director who was looking for a leading man in his new film project. That film was Above The Law, and that recommendation from the 'Super Agent' was enough to land Seagal the gig without an audition. That was how Steven Seagal got his big break as an actor. It was literally an in-joke by a couple of Hollywood agents having a laugh!
Practicing his nunchucks shirtless and sweaty and his subordinate comes in. “Aye Gull, you gotta check this out they’re talking smack about yas on the internets!” Watches lt nodding the whole time then throws the phone across the room. Next day he takes his aggressions out on a dojo full of kids giving them a *deminstration* choke slams a bunch of 9 year olds leaving with a bunch of parents yelling at him from behind with a smirk on his face. Tries to slide across the hood of his car and it just dents inward. Barely manages to roll off of it and hops in the 80s t top Camaro. Puts his fake police light on top and books it. Pulls over the first black guy he sees and breaks his arm and plants drugs on him. Then goes home and chokes himself crying while he wanks it….. I think it’d go something like that.
It’s like hearing about the stories behind the Island Of Dr. Moreau from the 90s. It’s an odd train wreck, but the behind the scenes stories make it a super wild story.
I loved Rob Schneider's Seagal story that he told on Stern many years ago when Stern's show was funny. He said that Seagal came out of his trailer, saying "I just read the greatest screenplay that's ever been written." Schneider asks, "Really? Who wrote it?" Seagal responds, "I did."
I remember that opening monologue of Nicholas Cage. The best part was when he left the stage, Cage walked by some women who all glared at him. But then Chris Farley came up to Cage and said, "It's going great, man!"
@@billturner8823 Huge fan of Phil. I wanted to be him when I was a kid. Jingle all the Way is in my Christmas movie list every year and it’s largely because Phil plays the smarmy sneaky snaky next door neighbor. Character kills me every time.
I love how there is a youtube video of almost every cast member or writer that was there that has Segal horror stories. Rob Schneider, David Spade, Bob Odenkirk, etc.
1:30 The fact that this was Segals idea for a comedy sketch, and something he finds amusing in his mind, just confirms what most of us already thought about Seagal.
They should’ve just let him do the whole damn thing by himself-writing material, monologue, solo sketches-all while he films and directs himself. SNL/NBC could’ve taken one for the team and let the little weenie epically roast himself. Voilà, no more Seagull-sorry, Seagal.
@@robinmcinarnay7827 That's actually a great idea; though i doubt he would have done it on his own. You know what Segal is like, he needs co-stars to show his 'greatness' to.
To be fair, they've had terrible bits just like it....Christopher Walken trying to drug and rape a broad. Canteen Boy and the scout master, etc. All they had to do was make it that she had Segal's kid and give it a ponytail.
@@subteeninhumansamuraiamphi5019 what’s the joke there tho? “I liked that movie cause my costar was hot” has none of the components of a joke. It’s just an objectifying statement, and when boiled down to that it’s very boring. It’s no different than him talking about how cool the sets were in his monologue
@mctheplaywright The joke is that no matter how bad a host is, Steven Seagal is worse. A host could be so blatantly sexist and stupid, but they still wouldn't be as bad as Seagal.
Tom was confusing "Cradle to the Grave" with "Exit Wounds". Both have DMX as costar but "Cradle to the Grave" has Jet Li instead of Segal. So there is some actual martial arts in that movie.
I've been a fan of Tom Segura for like 34 years. Christina for 33. I would have been a fan of Christina for 34 but I was mountaineering with monks for 68 years that year.
@@bman3495 "scandal" it was so mild i cant fucking believe the democrats cancelled him. Meanwhile the GOP is ok with literally the biggest pieces of shits our country has to offer.
The ending bit Al Franken is talking about that Seagal insisted is online somewhere. Seagal bursts into a room of big-wig oil execs, beats the shit out of all of them, then stares into the camera and yells, "This is what happens when you mess up the environment!". There are, quite literally no jokes in the entire bit once Seagal shows up, and the silence from the audience after Seagal's scream into the camera gave me almost unbearable second-hand embarrassment.
Before Seagal defeated everyone by throwing them around they were bitch slapping him and he wasn't even reacting. This episode made no logic and sense.
Yeah, hosts don’t generally write their own monologues unless you’re Seinfeld or Chappell level. And the whole “teaching him a lesson about respecting women” didn’t sound true. The only possibility is Cage made terrible suggestions and the writers turned that into a sketch? Still, of all the eccentric stories about Nic Cage, I don’t recall him being accused of being a pervy horndog.
Or, he was just describing the sketch that Seagal saw and questioned him about? Everything Al described, with some leeway on verbiage because memory, is part of the sketch.
To be honest, the best part of every-single-episode of this podcast is the idiot in the back dying of laughter -- it's soooo encouraging and supportive.
Haha, my favorite Segal story from Tom Arnold. Segal shows up late to shoot his scene. “Sorry I’m late, I was just reading the best script I’ve ever read in my whole life.” Tom Arnold was impressed…”Wow! Who wrote it?”…Segal says “I did.”
It blows my mind that SNL actors and writers don’t tell more stories like this. Sandler must have hours and hours of stories like this but he doesn’t tell them!!!
@@riseofazrael Someone above said that entire Cage thing was actually a sketch and Franken neglected to mention that. Which makes more sense, since otherwise how would Seagal have heard about it? It was a scripted conversation that actually aired.
I know that every story of that episode ends with "and we've never shown that episode again" but I refuse to believe if they re-released it now that it wouldn't be the highest rated show they've produced in the past half-decade.
What I love about YMH is every now and then they get a guests out of nowhere and left field. And those shows are always classic. This is another example.
@@LOOISDYLAN hes an MC. Has been really interesting watching tom after his fathers passing. The shifting of power in his head. The isolation hes creating thinking hes now top dog. hes half way to steven seagal hes just hasnt realised it yet. why do you think he picks on seagal. impostor syndrome. Whats toms most scared of. if you want to monetise and share every second of your life on YT dont get all antsy when people call you out
Al's Steven Seagal story is the by far the second funniest Steven Seagal story I've ever heard. Him shitting himself after challenging the Godfather of grappling, Judo Gene Lebell and getting choked out is #1
It's largely because of Tom's bit on Seagal (and Jon Trons video) that my latest D&D character is an Aaracokra monk/bard called Steevin Seagull. He insists he's an expert on every topic that comes up (and has jack of all trades and a forgery kit to haphazardly back up a few of his claims), talks up his martial arts prowess far beyond his actual ability and first appeared as black to the rest of the party but half way through the first encounter his bad hair dye started to run revealing the black and white feathers beneath. He's kinda a blast to play and his second game is in less then twelve hours so this is great timing.
Segura's story about him falling into the water was super funny, because I'd actually heard someone that was on set tell that story, and the hair dye part just killed me each time...LOL
Haha I actually directed a Steven Seagal film (Perfect Weapon 2016) and yeah he is still like this except he doesn’t move much. Still he’s entertaining as hell
If anybody knows that guy laughing in the background, please warn me if he is going to see a movie. There is no way I want to be in the same theater with him
If a comic that looked like Segal compiled every funny story about him, made sketches acting out each one, and took it on the road - it would be an instant success. That dudes life is an unintentional comical phenomenon, and he has no idea
I loved the one that Kevin hart told about Steven sigal literally shitting his pants because he bullied a body double thinking he could take a punch from him and actually asking him to hit him so the body double did and the punch I guess in his stomach made him shit his pants 🤣
Man, Kevin Hart did a real disservice to that story by only describing the person as a "stuntman" I mean, he was a stuntman but that was the least of who he was. What Kevin Hart did was the equivalent of talking about how a fight broke out on set between Chris Pratt and "an actor" but that actor is Randy couture, Bruce Lee, or Chuck Norris. Seagal challenged the GODFATHER OF GRAPPLING "Judo" Gene Lebell by saying he couldn't be choked out. Gene, who also had a long career as a stunt man, took him up on the challenge. The man's name is JUDO Gene Lebell ffs. They literally just gave him the name of an entire martial arts form. You always hear about the Gracie's but there would be no UFC or modern day MMA without Gene Lebell
Steven Seagal, ego of Marlon Brando, acting talent of Steven Seagal.
Thankfully he's never had to use that talent.
Difference is Brando developed an ego after the world saw his talents as the best actor in the world and later grew out of it. Seagal had a massive ego even before becoming a celebrity and after becoming a has-been.
Dude have u even seen under siege . Segal is like a yeoman . Great actor. Plus the aikido shit . Jeez
So.... Steven Seagal
And martial arts skills of…….Steven Seagal.
I could listen to "Steven Segal is a piece of shit" stories all day. Thank you Al for adding to the lexicon.
My father went to the bar in Alaska that Steven segal was in in a movie. Supposedly he was a total asshole.
I practiced Aikido for a couple years, my teacher was in two of Segal's early movies- trained under Segal and was also a Black Belt. My "sensei" had cut Segal out of his life by 1999, and absolutely hated him. Even though he never said it- it was obvious. Apparently- Segal became a disgusting pig after becoming famous.
My story is lackluster but he was at my doctor's office and his poor assistant fell asleep in the lobby, when Seagal came out he practically jumped to attention. He walked into the area waiting for us to fawn but ..no.
Isn’t this the guy who molested that passed out woman? Why would they have him on?
Feel free to listen to the Behind the Bastards episodes on him and how he is a terrible piece of shit who deserves to rot in prison and to rest in piss.
I met Steven Seagal once and he told me it was the best experience of my life.
Underrated. Nice.
😂
😂😂😂
Funny enough. I feel like you could really get under his skin by saying "No I'm pretty sure sex for the first time was the best experience of my life." He would at the very least say "No, it wasn't."
This is how I know it's a true story
I've been watching UA-cam for like, 37 years. - Steven Segal
Steve Segal once made UA-cam tap out to an armbar for showing videos of him running.
You nailed it!
Well, I've been replying to your UA-cam comments for like 5 decades, so...
heheh
I made this comment like 45 years ago
Segura stand up about this was magic
"I met Segal once" is probably the most efficient sentence to get Tom's attention.
LOL
What's funny is listening to a POS like Franken talking about another POS...oh wait, it's not funny at all.
“I met seagal backstage at garth brooks once”. -topper
What’s funny is “I met Segal once” works better than “I met Segal twice”
Your interaction couldn’t have been that crazy if the two of you met a second time
I believe life is for living . I see Steven Segal truly living ... My favorite quote : every man dies , but not every man truly lives .
Jay Leno deserves credit for knowing exactly how to massage Seagals ego in that moment
True professional.
As is Leno.
Leno's entire career is based around stroking off entitled morons.
And it didn't even make any logical sense. All he has to do was stroke Seagal's ego and Seagal didn't even care about the rest of it.
0 of this is true. Half the stories he keeps mixing up if it was him talking.. Cage talking.. Loren talking. Come on people
Leno is a lot of things, but I’d bet that man can read any room he enters in a matter of seconds.
My favorite Seagal story was recently told by Dana carvey. They're rehearsing the Hans and Franz sketch where the two of them are constantly referring to Seagal as weaker than Arnold. The whole comedic premise is based on their worship of Arnold and how everyone else is a girlyman by comparison.
So in the middle of rehearsal, Seagal storms off the set. Dana finds him angrily sulking and asks what's wrong and Seagal replies "I wish Arnold really was here so I could kick his fuckin' ass..."
😂
Seems like your average dude bro to me.
That is a story.
I love how Seagal threatens Arnold who wasn't even there and did nothing to him. What a guy that Seagal. 👏
As muggy as seagal is he would smash arny
Tom has been roasting Steven Seagal for 47 years
Steven Seagal has been doing martial arts for 85 years.
My grandmother, who died at 98 ten years ago used to gather all of the grandchildren around and tell us stories of her youth of Steven Seagul
Lmao
He invented martial arts, cmon man!
I would pay *a LOT* of money to see a no-holds-barred UFC fight between Tommy and Steven Seagal
You hear that airplane? that’s called a skippy 😂 classic
There was a movie where Steven Segal was supposed to die in the first 10 minutes of the movie. After agreeing to the movie, he then refused to 'die'...so they told him they rewrote the part, and he survives the death scene, then after filming the death scene, they left him in his trailer for a month, him thinking he was going to get called out to do the ' survive' scene...then they wrapped.
What movie is that? I want to see it now.
@@MrVovansim most likely Executive Decision. Best Seagal film I've ever seen. I don't need to explain why...
@@whcw11 it's a hilarious death scene tbh
The best part is they wasted a month of his time, keeping him from making six other movies.
@@whcw11 😆😅🤣😂
Everyone had a friend like Steven Segal when they were kids. Always embellishing and making up stories. Unlike Steven, your friend probably grew up.
Nope. I'm still a piece of shit.
Not really and he's no longer a friend...
Or even worse you have a sibling like him
Literally have this type as my best friend and it is the best form of entertainment while simultaneously being very exhausting
My dad's friend
Rob Schneider has the best one where apparently steven goes “I’ve just read the greatest script ever”
Rob:Really steven who wrote it?
Steven:Me
yeah, that story is truly Segal to the core
That was hilarious. I seen that
I DID 😆
I'm legit having a good laugh. Gold.
Lol my favorite too
I don't know why UA-cam is suddenly recommending Steven Segal videos to me but I'm laughing my ass off 🤣 😂 🤣
Tom Segura should make a three-hour documentary that entirely consists of celebrities telling their best Steven Seagal stories. That documentary would have a part 2, part 3, part 4, & etc, because there are so many celebrities that think Seagal is a phucking moron/narcissistic nimrod/etc. It would sweep at the Oscars.
Isn’t this the guy who molested that passed out woman? Why would you have him on?
I would pay for these DVDs.
Hollywood star's talking about someone else's narcissism? That's literally them telling about themselves.
@ymhstudios
“And the award for most hilarious documentary of all time goes to ….”
Gotta respect Cage’s capacity for taking feedback, introspection and growth.
Cage may be a weirdo, eccentric and outright strange, but i'd gladly have a few beers with him and listen to his crazy ass ideas and stories...
Segal on the other hand, i couldn't wait to get back to my buddies so we could have a few beers and bask in just how incredibly batshit crazy he is...
@@maxnaz47 Yeah! Cage seems like the kind of weirdo who knows he's a weirdo and is, in a way, "in on it."
The way Franken tells that Cage part of the story it sounds like it was a spontaneous thing. It wasn’t; it was actually Cage’s scripted open and the response from Lorne was all part of it. I remember watching it live.
@@mikeyreza Yes. Yes they did. It was a bit.
@@mikeyreza it was on a show a few weeks later
"See that helicopter over there? They call that a skippy. Cuz it goes skipskipskipskipskip."
One of my favourite jokes. I love the Segal bit. Please Tom. Consider making another.
I can't tell if Tom is the dog who finally caught the car or a child who got everything they wanted on Christmas morning but his vibe during this whole clip is immaculate
Now imagine how it be for Garth Brooks lol
@@3KneeDeep imagine having the job of cleaning garth’s poo trail on a pj.
@@soicybunny yeah I rather shoot myself lol
He must be a great actor because it's not even close to the first time Tom has heard this story
Huh?
My friends were in line at a Starbucks in Orange County behind a fat guy dressed in black. One of them whispered to the others "That guy is trying to look like Steven Seagal." The guy turned around and said "I AM Steven Seagal," which made them all laugh hysterically.
😂🤣
Was ir ACTUALLY or was it a guy playing into the joke?
@@alphabetsoup6837 Since the story doesn't continue with "And then the guy assaulted my friends for laughing" it probably wasn't actually Steven Seagal.
@@mattrobson3603 fair point.🤣
Seagal then close-lined all of them at once.
I was a manager at Bass Pro Shop in AZ. Seagal was a regular customer, yearly, not weekly. There are a lot of Seagal is the worst customer ever stories around that place.
You can't leave us hanging on that.
Will Sasso did the best Seagal on MADTV. Legendary 💀
Breaking everybody’s neck & shit 🤣🤣
Kenny Rogers Jackass was my favorite.
Crouching cops hidden badges
@NBCeeUs! I loved his episode of Whiskey Ginger and Bad Friends. I hope they do more together!
That's because mad TV doesn't suck like snl if you like snl you're a fourteen year old girl
My dad had a Steven Seagal story. My dad was a paramedic, and after he retired from the Chicago Fire Department, he got a job with the local Motion Picture Union as an emergency medic. Union rules require a medic on set at all times. He mostly just handed out Aspirin and cold medicine. He worked on almost every movie, tv show, commercial, or music video filmed in Chicago from the late 80's to the early 2000's. One of them was Steven Seagal's first movie Above the Law. So, my dad was there when that infamous scene, of the funny way that Steven Seagal runs, was filmed. He said Seagal was one of the most obnoxious celebrities he encountered. Above the law was Seagal's first movie and the guy was already a total diva with a gigantic ego. He was really into Native American spiritualism and had a shaman on staff who would purify the set with sage smoke and song every day before filming. Along with that he had this big ball of pungent smelling herbs that he insisted on having nearby, whenever he was working, to "set the mood". Eventually, the strong, ever-present smell of these weird herbs on set started getting to people. It was making everyone sick to the point that a few people actually even threw up because of it. He wouldn't work without it though.
Sounds like he was doing smudging but he fucked up the herbs or something, maybe just overexposure to the smoke made the people sick. Also if I remember correctly, you don't need to smudge on more than a weekly basis, much less busting out a shaman every day at work to "purify" your workplace and subject your co-workers to sage, sweetgrass and tobacco smoke. Seagal is a jackass of the highest order.
@@michaelm.2736 I think the smoke was only used before work began. The smell that was bothering people came from the big bundle of dry herbs.
My dad described it like a thick tumbleweed. So, definitely bigger than a basketball.
@@Dan.Solo.Chicago good lord. Sounds like hell in ball form.
A friend was thrilled he was , as a key grip with ACTRA , was going to be working on the new Kung Fun TV show shot in Toronto. He was a huge David Carridane Fan and was hyped for the up coming gig.
A few weeks later my friend was having a weekend lunch party and was puttering around his kitchen cooking and getting everything ready but not saying a word about the new gig. So I prodded and asked, "SO. How's it going working on the set with David Carridine? " He immediately lost his smile and glared at me saying, "David is fucking drunken asshole." and that was all he had to say about that.
@@Phukugoooglification Yeah. Sometimes that’s just how it is. My dad actually had a bunch of stories like that. It’s always a surprise too. Leaves you thinking, “That guy? Really? Never would have suspected that.” My dad would drop those stories like a bomb too. After watching and movie or tv show and saying “Wasn’t So&So good in that?” That’s when he would drop a reality bomb on you, and give you the story. He wouldn’t even watch anything that had Bill Cosby in it, for example.
The funniest story I've heard about Seagal, is that his first movie role, and basically by extension, _his entire career_ only happened because of a dare between two Hollywood agents.
The story goes that there was a 'super agent' in Hollywood who had claimed that his reputation was so powerful he could make literally _anyone_ famous, so his friend, another Hollywood agent, took him up on that challenge. He dared him to find the dumbest, most un-charismatic, un-talented nobody, and turn them into a star, just for a laugh.
This agent was already aware of Steven Seagal because Seagal had done a little bit of work in Hollywood and had actually done behind the scenes work for a couple of Bond movies. He was a stunt coordinator for an Akido-based movie called The Challenge, a martial arts instructor for the Bond film Never Say Never Again (during which he allegedly broke Sean Connerys wrist during production), and a choreographer on A View To A Kill two years later.
So this agent knew who Seagal was, and also knew what a dull moron he was too, so he easily convinced Seagal that he "has what it takes" and he should _definitely_ get into acting. He then referred Seagal to a director who was looking for a leading man in his new film project. That film was Above The Law, and that recommendation from the 'Super Agent' was enough to land Seagal the gig without an audition.
That was how Steven Seagal got his big break as an actor. It was literally an in-joke by a couple of Hollywood agents having a laugh!
i want this to be true so bad...
You’ll have to forgive Steven Seagal, we have purposely trained him wrong as a joke.
@@paulrippcord506face to foot style.
This is an old story about Lee Atwater and George W Bush with the details swapped for Seagal.
I’m sure on some planet your technique is most impressive. Your weak link is. This is earth
Just imagine Segal watching this.
I don’t think I can imagine it. Can you help?
He would block Al's strikes with one hand and then flip him by the wrist, after which he would kick him on the throat
Practicing his nunchucks shirtless and sweaty and his subordinate comes in. “Aye Gull, you gotta check this out they’re talking smack about yas on the internets!” Watches lt nodding the whole time then throws the phone across the room. Next day he takes his aggressions out on a dojo full of kids giving them a *deminstration* choke slams a bunch of 9 year olds leaving with a bunch of parents yelling at him from behind with a smirk on his face. Tries to slide across the hood of his car and it just dents inward. Barely manages to roll off of it and hops in the 80s t top Camaro. Puts his fake police light on top and books it. Pulls over the first black guy he sees and breaks his arm and plants drugs on him. Then goes home and chokes himself crying while he wanks it….. I think it’d go something like that.
He he he 😂 wonderful
I was the whole video...lol
The horror stories of Seagals week at SNL alone are more entertaining than Seagal himself has ever been
I actually liked Hard to Kill.... thats about it.
It’s like hearing about the stories behind the Island Of Dr. Moreau from the 90s. It’s an odd train wreck, but the behind the scenes stories make it a super wild story.
Ron Perlman's stories about it are amazing.
I just love Al Franken's stories about Steven Segal, Nicolas Cage and Ted Cruz. Priceless!!!
I got to say, my respect for Jay Leno just went up a notch.
Letterman would rip into Seagal like there's no tomorrow
he's on the ball when it comes to machines...cars, but more importantly ultimate killing machine. 🍔
@@stellviahohenheim Was Seagal ever on a Letterman show, either NBC or CBS?
Leno and lettermen are both creeps and actual assholes.
@@c17nav Yes, it's here on YT. He's wearing some frilled psuedo native american dee- hide overcoat.
I loved Rob Schneider's Seagal story that he told on Stern many years ago when Stern's show was funny. He said that Seagal came out of his trailer, saying "I just read the greatest screenplay that's ever been written." Schneider asks, "Really? Who wrote it?" Seagal responds, "I did."
that is too perfect to be real...
which hurts even more.
Seagal's an even bigger dickhead than Rob Schneider, which is really saying something.
And the getting his exwife on the phone part...
Finding new Seagal stories is such a treat.
His Nic cage has me dying
I'm convinced that Will Sasso's impression of Steven Seagal on MadTV was 100% accurate.
I remember that opening monologue of Nicholas Cage. The best part was when he left the stage, Cage walked by some women who all glared at him. But then Chris Farley came up to Cage and said, "It's going great, man!"
Al Franken's Leno impression is uncanny.
Daryll Hammond, in my opinion, did a fantastic Jay Leno, and a excellent Bill Clinton.
@@markusbrauns4274 Phil Hartman did a better Bill Clinton.
@@billturner8823 True. I miss that guy. Soo funny on the Simpsons as well.
@@billturner8823 Huge fan of Phil. I wanted to be him when I was a kid. Jingle all the Way is in my Christmas movie list every year and it’s largely because Phil plays the smarmy sneaky snaky next door neighbor. Character kills me every time.
There’s no greater crime than making Chris Farley seem unfunny and Seagal managed to do it.
The guys laughing in the background is great
Wow, Leno was a hero in that anecdote. Masterful. Like a social surgeon.
He knew who he was calming down, and that his explanation didn't have to make a whole lot of sense.
Social surgeon! That's a brilliant way to put it, and you're absolutely right. Jay completely diffused the situation.
Jay knows how to deal with someone with a huge ego? I wonder who he knows that would give him the inside knowledge...
Al Franken has such an infectious laugh. Thanks Al Franken.
#sexualpervert
Al does very bad things to women while they're sleeping.
I've heard the Seagal on SNL story eight different times from eight different people and it never gets old
Tom needs to produce a movie of him playing Segal in all these stories he’s collecting.
YES! Drunk History style with each original witness/storyteller providing the audio tracks.
Oh dear God yes. This needs to happen 😁😁😁🖤🖤🖤!!!!
I love how there is a youtube video of almost every cast member or writer that was there that has Segal horror stories.
Rob Schneider, David Spade, Bob Odenkirk, etc.
1:30
The fact that this was Segals idea for a comedy sketch, and something he finds amusing in his mind, just confirms what most of us already thought about Seagal.
They should’ve just let him do the whole damn thing by himself-writing material, monologue, solo sketches-all while he films and directs himself. SNL/NBC could’ve taken one for the team and let the little weenie epically roast himself. Voilà, no more Seagull-sorry, Seagal.
@@robinmcinarnay7827 That's actually a great idea; though i doubt he would have done it on his own. You know what Segal is like, he needs co-stars to show his 'greatness' to.
To be fair, they've had terrible bits just like it....Christopher Walken trying to drug and rape a broad. Canteen Boy and the scout master, etc. All they had to do was make it that she had Segal's kid and give it a ponytail.
@@vandalg282 I think Walkens one kind of goes with his image and roles he plays, so kind of makes sense, if risque, but Segals one is creepy..
You do know he's been investigated for trafficking?
Al Franken teaching Nick Cage about sexism is a fucking hilarious image
its not sexism, Cage’s monologue was actually funny
@@subteeninhumansamuraiamphi5019 what’s the joke there tho? “I liked that movie cause my costar was hot” has none of the components of a joke. It’s just an objectifying statement, and when boiled down to that it’s very boring. It’s no different than him talking about how cool the sets were in his monologue
@mctheplaywright The joke is that no matter how bad a host is, Steven Seagal is worse. A host could be so blatantly sexist and stupid, but they still wouldn't be as bad as Seagal.
This is one the best videos I've seen. Where is the full video?
Al Franken's laugh sounds like the beginning to Gorillaz's "Feel Good" 😆
ah ha ha ha ha
Omg stoppp
hahahah so accurate.
💀💀
Lol, I rewatched it to make sure. 👌
Tom was confusing "Cradle to the Grave" with "Exit Wounds". Both have DMX as costar but "Cradle to the Grave" has Jet Li instead of Segal. So there is some actual martial arts in that movie.
Yes, Tom Segura is an idiot.
5:47 Who was laughing back there? The short balled guy from The Princess Bride?! 🤣
I've been a fan of Tom Segura for like 34 years. Christina for 33. I would have been a fan of Christina for 34 but I was mountaineering with monks for 68 years that year.
Lmao this might be my all time favorite guest on YMH😂😂 perfect delivery on his stories
A very underrated comic, and he was a hell of a Senator
Yeah, I just listened to the full podcast yesterday and it's my favorite episode in a long time, really enjoyed it.
@@Ryan-st7hq if the scandal hadn’t happened, he was on track to be a legit contender in 2020
@@bman3495 "scandal" it was so mild i cant fucking believe the democrats cancelled him. Meanwhile the GOP is ok with literally the biggest pieces of shits our country has to offer.
@@bman3495 Breaks my heart. Al Franken would have been a fantastic president. I hope he runs again.
you know what’s even funnier Al Franken trying to work Minnesota😂😂
The ending bit Al Franken is talking about that Seagal insisted is online somewhere. Seagal bursts into a room of big-wig oil execs, beats the shit out of all of them, then stares into the camera and yells, "This is what happens when you mess up the environment!". There are, quite literally no jokes in the entire bit once Seagal shows up, and the silence from the audience after Seagal's scream into the camera gave me almost unbearable second-hand embarrassment.
Before Seagal defeated everyone by throwing them around they were bitch slapping him and he wasn't even reacting. This episode made no logic and sense.
That guy laughing in the background is fantastic 😂
It’s the reason Seagal also makes himself a Navy SEAL, Green Beret, or a Professor.
They are so far from his own reality, except for in his mind.
Seagal is probably also the worst actor of all time ... awards is piling up!
#1 is #1
I think Nadav has him beat
The gallery losing their shit in the background takes this over the top. So funny.
Tom should have a conversation with Nick Mullen about Seagal, I'd pay good money to see that
YES
Fatigue doesn't get you?
Why is Franken telling that Nic Cage story like it wasn’t a sketch? 😂
Maybe he forgot?
Oooh that makes more sense. I was confused by that story.
Yeah, hosts don’t generally write their own monologues unless you’re Seinfeld or Chappell level. And the whole “teaching him a lesson about respecting women” didn’t sound true.
The only possibility is Cage made terrible suggestions and the writers turned that into a sketch? Still, of all the eccentric stories about Nic Cage, I don’t recall him being accused of being a pervy horndog.
Or, he was just describing the sketch that Seagal saw and questioned him about? Everything Al described, with some leeway on verbiage because memory, is part of the sketch.
David Spade's story about Seagal is the best.
"I just read... The greatest script in the history of the world."
"Oh yeah? Who wrote it?"
"I did."
Steven Seagal is the living representation of “Fake it till you make it”.
The second part is: "And then keep faking it even after your career has been over for decades."
So he was the prototype for Elana Habba?
To be honest, the best part of every-single-episode of this podcast is the idiot in the back dying of laughter -- it's soooo encouraging and supportive.
That was you? 😂😂😂😂😂 JK
I agree.
The guy laughing in the background made this much funnier
Haha, my favorite Segal story from Tom Arnold. Segal shows up late to shoot his scene. “Sorry I’m late, I was just reading the best script I’ve ever read in my whole life.” Tom Arnold was impressed…”Wow! Who wrote it?”…Segal says “I did.”
That was Rob Schneider's story. Tom's was the one when Seagal walked through that door that led him to fall into the water.
@@bustercherry8734 I swear Tom Arnold told the same story also on Howard Stern.
@@MrVisde No, again, that was Rob on Howard telling the story.
It blows my mind that SNL actors and writers don’t tell more stories like this.
Sandler must have hours and hours of stories like this but he doesn’t tell them!!!
That story about Nic Cage realizing he was being a dick on set was hilarious, the impression was perfect.
Even way back when Chevy Chase, Belushi, there's got to be a ton of stories.
Fly On The Wall. Podcast.
@@riseofazrael Someone above said that entire Cage thing was actually a sketch and Franken neglected to mention that. Which makes more sense, since otherwise how would Seagal have heard about it? It was a scripted conversation that actually aired.
They guy in the back laughing makes this a 1000xs better 😂😂😂😂😂
Tom's collecting Steven Seagal stories like infinity stones
I know that every story of that episode ends with "and we've never shown that episode again" but I refuse to believe if they re-released it now that it wouldn't be the highest rated show they've produced in the past half-decade.
You could watch the episode on streaming. It’s bad.
4:00 Nick cage is the most intense dude ever 😭😭
What I love about YMH is every now and then they get a guests out of nowhere and left field. And those shows are always classic. This is another example.
Tom is slowly transitioning into Joe Rogan's Physique
Whoever is laughing in the back is making it funnier
I love that Al Franken made Stegal sound like Louie Anderson's kid voice.
Tom is still shitting on Seagal 😂😂
It’s hard to believe. Because his „movies“ are hilarious. Pure comedy gold.
Tom could pull off Seagal's look better than Seagal without a shadow of a doubt
Tom Segura is the Steven Seagal of comedy - change my mind...
Instead of a professional music video, next he should do a Hollywood choreographed fight where he's segal, and Bert is the final boss!
@@sspacegghost tom is a competent person
@@LOOISDYLAN hes an MC. Has been really interesting watching tom after his fathers passing. The shifting of power in his head. The isolation hes creating thinking hes now top dog. hes half way to steven seagal hes just hasnt realised it yet. why do you think he picks on seagal. impostor syndrome. Whats toms most scared of. if you want to monetise and share every second of your life on YT dont get all antsy when people call you out
@@TylerShacklefordDurden I'd pay to see that
That Michael Jordan sketch is one of my favorites by far. Franken was hilarious.
Steven Segal: " I have a sketch idea."
Literally everyone: " Oh, Christ, no."
The setup with Nic Cage story was great 😂
More Stevie Seagull stories
Al's Steven Seagal story is the by far the second funniest Steven Seagal story I've ever heard.
Him shitting himself after challenging the Godfather of grappling, Judo Gene Lebell and getting choked out is #1
Isn’t this the guy who molested that passed out woman? Why would they have him on?
But that'a a lie. It was proven to be a lie.
@@richardsteiner45isn’t it boring posting the same thing? Maybe he should have grabbed her by the meow
You ever hear the Seagal origin story how he learned martial arts?
@@SuperWholeMilk no?
That guy laughing in the back ground 😂 wtf!
I want Al Franken to read me every audiobook ever written.
It's largely because of Tom's bit on Seagal (and Jon Trons video) that my latest D&D character is an Aaracokra monk/bard called Steevin Seagull. He insists he's an expert on every topic that comes up (and has jack of all trades and a forgery kit to haphazardly back up a few of his claims), talks up his martial arts prowess far beyond his actual ability and first appeared as black to the rest of the party but half way through the first encounter his bad hair dye started to run revealing the black and white feathers beneath.
He's kinda a blast to play and his second game is in less then twelve hours so this is great timing.
🤓
@@1standlast "yess i love dad chaniels" find an active volcano
Al Franken: [breathes]
Dude off camera: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHSHSHSHAHSAHAHAH
Yeah whoever that is off camera needs to be locked in a room away from any microphones
Segura's story about him falling into the water was super funny, because I'd actually heard someone that was on set tell that story, and the hair dye part just killed me each time...LOL
I love the Seagal story but Franken's laughs is like something out of my nightmares. Him and Seth Rolling give me goosebumps when they laugh.
You’d think that woman he groped would have woken up.
yeah Franken's laugh is evil
Franken is just not funny
Except as a politician which is a disaster for America
Him has laughs that is weird.
Stephen Tobolowski (holistic healer from Seinfeld) has the best Seagal story I've heard so far.
If I had known all this 30 years ago I might of given up my job and my life just to follow Mr. Segal around and watch his interactions
Same here, I'm 31. 😂
"might of"
You still have time
*might've
What a great call to have AL Franken ad a guest. The guy is so funny and has done so much worth talking about
The least talented person on SNL who one fucking skit,caught violating a woman. Keep up the good work posting asshole.
Like sexualy assaulting women, right asshole?
Honestly the last part of that SNL show where Seagal beats up Exxon executives is the definition of absurdist comedy. It’s very good.
Steven Seagal is a man of many appetites who fights sitting down in a chair because of them.
I wish he was still Senator Franken.
5:40 Damn! Al Franken does a great Jay Leno impression!
His Nicolas Cage wasn’t bad, either.
Haha I actually directed a Steven Seagal film (Perfect Weapon 2016) and yeah he is still like this except he doesn’t move much. Still he’s entertaining as hell
As soon as Tom said “Steven Segal”
I think Al knew where this was going, and his soul left his body
If anybody knows that guy laughing in the background, please warn me if he is going to see a movie. There is no way I want to be in the same theater with him
I hope Tom dedicates his life to finding the footage of Seagal walking into the sea. Pay any price, Tom. Any price!!!
You'll never find it. It wasn't a sea. It was Lake Ontario. The film was shot in Toronto.
Franken's laugh is sometimes reminiscent of Gottfried's.
"Christina" in the Freemason floor shirt
This shit had me dying. This running Seagal commentary is too good 🤣🤣
If a comic that looked like Segal compiled every funny story about him, made sketches acting out each one, and took it on the road - it would be an instant success. That dudes life is an unintentional comical phenomenon, and he has no idea
By the way, the movie that Tom was referring to is actually called "Exit Wounds" where Segal went through the wrong door and into the water
I loved the one that Kevin hart told about Steven sigal literally shitting his pants because he bullied a body double thinking he could take a punch from him and actually asking him to hit him so the body double did and the punch I guess in his stomach made him shit his pants 🤣
That was the famous Gene Labell, and it was some form of choke hold he put on Segal
Lmfao
@@MoreFormosa Ya apparently Segal claimed he had a technique that would get him out of any choke….
@@rooseveltbrentwood9654 I mean shitting your pants would probably do it, so he’s not lying. 😂
Man, Kevin Hart did a real disservice to that story by only describing the person as a "stuntman" I mean, he was a stuntman but that was the least of who he was. What Kevin Hart did was the equivalent of talking about how a fight broke out on set between Chris Pratt and "an actor" but that actor is Randy couture, Bruce Lee, or Chuck Norris.
Seagal challenged the GODFATHER OF GRAPPLING "Judo" Gene Lebell by saying he couldn't be choked out.
Gene, who also had a long career as a stunt man, took him up on the challenge.
The man's name is JUDO Gene Lebell ffs. They literally just gave him the name of an entire martial arts form.
You always hear about the Gracie's but there would be no UFC or modern day MMA without Gene Lebell
Low key, great nick cage impression..