How The Medical Model Creates Learned Helplessness- Mental Health Diagnoses - Anxiety Course 7/30
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- Опубліковано 20 вер 2023
- Sometimes, when I teach a mental health skill- like how exercise treats depression or how mindfulness is a powerful tool to decrease anxiety, people will tell me “That’s cool, but I have Clinical Depression” and what they usually mean by that is they have been diagnosed with depression, and they assume that that diagnosis means that their depression is a biological trait, a genetic trait, something inherent, a chemical imbalance, part of their being or identity, and they assume is that it’s going to be a permanent characteristic that they just cope with for their entire life.
This is a misunderstanding of how mental health diagnoses work. We have this interesting problem in America where we’ve applied the medical model to mental health, and it’s created a lot of learned helplessness. In our attempts to remove the stigma from mental health, many people have come to believe that all mental illnesses are permanent, genetic traits. And it’s just not true. Because anxiety disorders, depression, trauma, and many other mental health conditions are really, really treatable.
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I get frustrated by the fact that socioeconomic status of individuals is never considered when treating their anxiety or depression. You can just imagine what being in a constant state of fight/flight/freeze does to a person because you're worried about losing your rental or you're worried that you can't afford the basics or even the medication that keeps you alive.
Being in a constant state of survival does a lot of harm on the mind and body.
I know from experience. The widening gap of inequality will only add to global mental illness statistics.
This !!!
This is a great point and something that can't be talked about often enough, it's so overlooked. I'm in a fairly stable (even privileged) place socioeconomically and I see all the time in friends that are in more precarious spots that this is probably their main stressor. I try to do what I can to help my friends by redistributing resources, but ultimately we need to change the whole system to eliminate artificial scarcity and make the bare necessities of life (housing, food, healthcare) available to all. If we're going to keep a competition for money around (personally not my preference, but perhaps a necessary intermediate step to a gift economy), let's compete for perks (travel, gizmos, massages, etc.) rather than getting basic needs met.
I was going to mention this!! I totally agree with everything she said, but I have a hard time with the part where she says that you can get rid of symptoms in a year. That’s assuming that your environment is right enough that it allows you that grace to heal. Most people don’t have that grace because of work, family issues, money issues, etc. I’m not saying it’s an excuse to NOT get better but it certainly makes it much harder and there’s not a lot of tools out there to overcome mental illness while being in a lower socioeconomic status. It’s really sad honestly 😢
Came here to say this. ALWAYS fighting with other low-income services professionals on this. Also my own life as a disabled, also fairly low-income, Japanese immigrant trans male survivor of repeated DV and familial abuse from the white side (racially motivated) of my bio family, while I also became the last remaining member of the JP side as a *teenager, 25 years ago*
I've been adopted as a little brother by two sisters (also white, but colour isn't relevant in my relationships with them), and the material means, as well as emotional support, that they give me are what's really treating decades of ongoing trauma.
If I was assessing someone with actual life circumstances that were very stressful and anxiety provoking, I wouldn't diagnose them with Generalised Anxiety Disorder. To have GAD, the anxiety needs to be out of proportion to the likelihood or impact of the anticipated event. Diagnosis should really be given by a professional who does a proper assessment with a diagnostic interview. Often just looking at the diagnostic criteria in the DSM is not enough.
“Mental illness is not laziness. It's not a moral failure. But also it's not your identity. It's not also inherent to who you are. I see it more as lack of resources. You just don't know what skills can help you to overcome your challenges.”
Perfectly said 😊
It took me a long time to understand and accept that about myself, even though my mind still likes to whisper otherwise from time to time.
Truuuu
Resources. Indeed.
Maintaining healthy boundaries between yourself and fellow mentally ill and openly hostile citizens can become extremely challenging. That doesn't mean that you get to lash out but boundaries can be flexible, given the proper predefined conditions.
It’s childhood trauma point blank. Childhood trauma needs healing, not really “skills” per se
i love that you said "depression is a chance to rest, heal and try something new when what you were trying seems a bit hopeless"
I think depression with a legitimate cause is not a disease, that is just a regular mental state. Chronic depression without any cause is the disease.
@debasishraychawdhuri agreed. I've known people in states of depression and I've known people with chronic depression; these are NOT the same thing and should absolutely be approached and seen differently.
@@OdinsSage Yes and no- I think it's fair to say that whether you got to "depression state" because of chemical imbalance (major depressive disorder), protracted burnout, or a major sudden life event (ex. grief), there are symptoms in common and it helps that they are all given weight and understanding, but the way they're approached in terms of treating them (rather than accommodating them) will be different because the root cause is different.
I came to this conclusion on my own, in a very frustrating way, after being told my whole life I was Autistic. Like, no, i was actually just severely neglected as a child lol I can now create and maintain healthy relationships with people, but for about 15 years I thought it was all hopeless and impossible bc of all the social limitations implied with autism and zero family or community support
Bravo!!
Thank you for sharing the excellent results of using your ability to respond (respond-ability) to change what you can!!! So much respect!!!
I thought I may have had autism too, but my psychiatrist figured it was reactive attachment disorder with social anxiety.
And now everyone just thinks everything is autism, it's a little strange. Glad you got through it
Love this for you! It’s usually trauma and people marry a diagnosis that’s wrong and never get help. Good for you for knowing your truth!!! ❤❤❤
It’s as if everyone is on the “spectrum” according to what I’ve heard.
I absolutely love Emma we’re not the diagnosis of the problem we’re just living creatures going through them.
I’m not now, nor ever will I be my Mother!
Western treatment of mental health is an industry that is very effective at maintaining a permanent client base, and not much else. The key problem is that the entire field is based on adapting individuals to a dysfunctional world. We need to adapt the world to ourselves. That's the best therapy for all the 'disorders' without a structural etiology, and it's even pretty good for a number of those.
The first sentence made sense. The rest of it is pure nonsense. Obviously, no individual can control the world, but must instead deal with it as it is.
Maybe I have misunderstood you.
@@matthewatwood8641 It hasn't occurred to you that people can change the world? Mental health is not an 'individual problem.' It's a systemic problem that affects individuals. People have created the dystopia that breeds mental and emotional illness, and they can create a different world that doesn't create many of the problems the mental health industry is dependent on treating- not solving.
Yes. Reading this comment and the reply, I'm just thinking of some of the spiritual teachings I came across when younger like the analogy of wearing shoes rather than trying to cover the whole world with leather. Theres truth in it for sure, but it's also extremely simplistic if taken on it's own. We share responsibility for making this world become more functional in a healthy way that helps people heal, grow and thrive and doesn't create unnecessary difficulty for each other. Yes we must grow in our abilities to deal with things as they are, and we must actively grow a world that doesn't destroy people and their ability to create a healthy world for themselves and others. The two go together. 🙏
@@justasomeone7860 That's a great saying about wearing shoes.
I agree that we should all be striving to make the world a better place, but that isn't going to help someone improve their mental health situation. Such a person needs to be told to wear shoes.
I was diagnosed with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) and mild MDD a few years ago and I can attest that a person can get a lot better. If I was re-diagnosed today I probably wouldn't receive the same diagnosis, accept possibly mild GAD. It felt like hell going through trauma healing but in the end what helped were these things (not a cure all, but it's what made a dramatic improvement in my life):
1) Therapy for learning boundaries (I had to go pretty deep into understanding why I didn't have boundaries and learn to set them...took time)
2) Mindfulness meditation (I used books and workbooks like 30 Days to Reduce Anxiety by Harper Daniels and The Body Keeps The Score amongst other reads, I recommend those. I also dove into eastern philosophy which helped a ton, like the Tao Te Ching and Gita).
3) Cut out coffee and things with high caffeine and sugar. (Coffee was adding a lot of fuel to the fire, it was ramping up my nervous system way too much, and I would spiral fast...coffee is not a good thing for anyone with anxiety).
4) Journaling (Even if just a sentence, writing something every day on paper without judgement or self criticism...expressing my emotions and thoughts).
5) Exercise (especially HIIT, doing intense exercise a few days a week to spike my heart rate for long periods...leads to a calmer heart rate and better sleep)
6) Related to #1, getting real with myself about the relationships in my life, sometimes dropping friendships that were not healthy and picking up healthier relationships.
7.) Related to #2, learning to sit in silence for a few minutes every day and spend as much time as possible outside in nature, even if just a quick walk in silence to observe the trees and sky.
Maybe this can help someone.
Bam thank you
Yes I have tons of ups and downs in my life with my GAD. I liked the books “panicking about panic” and “untangle your anxiety” but it wasn’t until I also incorporated mindfulness, therapy, and some Buddhist concepts (the book no nonsense Buddhism and the podcast secular Buddhism really are the only things that’s helped me change perspective in a major way) that I really began to untangle myself.
I still struggle with occasional spiraling and overthinking, black and white thinking, and worse case scenario thinking. I am trying to unlearn and soothe and combat these in healthy ways. I am saying yes to more things and trying to be honest about how my relationships make me feel and what kind of people make me feel safe and happiest.
Added those books to my list!
Thank you ! It did help ❤
Thanks for sharing!!😊
When I was in my very early 20s, I had a burnout episode (which I know now was caused by unaddressed ADHD). I made my way crying to the doctor's office, snot bubbles and all, and was diagnosed with GAD and depression. Doc prescribed me some meds and told me: chances are you'll have to take them for your entire life.
And I believed this crap for years. I was physically addicted to the pills, withdrawal was so tough that I was afraid of stopping. But the truth is, they never improved my quality of life. At all.
What works for me is frequent social contact, daily exercise and sunlight exposure, financial security as well as an assortment of executive function tools (such as daily chore charts with star stickers, a paper planner, etc) that artificially reward my brain.
Very well said. Thanks
Amen! Well said.
So much of this learned helplessness has come from the 'chemical imbalance' model that I was taught, and the solution was antidepressants, often without any talk therapy or lifestyle adjustments to address the individual causes of depression. Thank goodness we are moving away from this paradigm!
🙏
This was me and everyone I knew. Except some of us had therapy. I had weekly therapy for 10 years. I even did DBT. I was never informed that I had CPTSD, and trauma was the cause of my issues. I figured this shit out on my own.
I had a great Dr. with a high success rate. His reason was because he did not label people. He was way ahead of his time in this area. He worked well into his 80's and died approaching 90. My heart aches for so many people who have fallen into a state of feeling helpless. You are right about taking tiny steps.
It's convenient to put things into boxes but the same convenience easily leaves things locked in those boxes...
I think this is so wise.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 36 without ever having suspected anything like that until my son was diagnosed a few months previous, so there were a lot of feelings rolling around my body about that!
At first I was so relieved, like "Oh, it's not my fault!" and so much shame just lifted off me. I felt so light. I wasn't lazy, crazy, stupid, or morally lacking, I had a different brain! Hurray! No more pushing myself to "just try harder, what's the matter with you that you can't do this easy thing".
And then when I'd thought it all the way through, I became depressed. Because if it's not my fault, that means that I can't change it. I'm stuck. Trapped. I'll never get better, even if I try my best!
My ADHD doctor/therapist helped me when she saw me a few months later, she told me that "it's not your fault, because you didn't know. Now you know, and you can learn to do things in the way that work for you." And it's not that I'm trapped in this hopeless "your brain is just broken, relax and enjoy your blameless, useless existence", it's more "your brain is different and certain things are going to be very hard, but if you find different strategies to approach them, it's going to work". This feels much more encouraging but still truthful. Like wearing glasses takes me out of the running for becoming an astronaut but I can still do most things, having ADHD takes me out of the running for a few things but I still have loads of choices. It was pretty difficult figuring out how to let go of certain coping mechanisms that had helped me previously, and learn new ways of doing things. For example, my way had always been to operate out of shame/fear/anxiety, because that amped me up enough to be able to "do the thing". With meds, I can "do the thing" without those adrenaline-boosting ways that are useful but harmful to my overall mental health. On the other hand, I had to learn to stop working and do something creative ON PURPOSE. I wasn't used to choosing it, I felt much more like life was a bunch of waves pushing me around. When I was able to, I'd work as hard as I could at all the responsible things that needed to be done, knowing that soon enough I'd be swept away to some creative scheme. My job was to try to keep my footing and not drown in the swirl. I did okay, and from the outside I seemed fine, but it was exhausting. Learning how to walk without the constant push and pull of the waves involved a bit of stumbling around, but it's easier this way now that I'm used to it. I don't fight the creative spurts, I just make sure the needful is taken care of and go for it. That wouldn't have been safe to do when I had untreated ADHD. Now I've had 6 years to try to find a new way to be in the world with meds and this information, and everything feels more simple and possible. It's caused a bunch of changes, including uncomfortable ones involving relationships where it turns out my fuzziness and assumption that I was at fault for every miscommunication was disguising some unhealthy patterns, but overall the knowledge, diagnosis, and treatment has changed my life dramatically for the better. My anxiety is gone, nightmares are much less frequent. I like it. I'm grateful.
My son, who has been diagnosed since age 7, will sometimes fall into that trap (or maybe he's just trying to play me, haha) and say "I can't think anymore, my meds wore off. I can't do my homework." Um, no. NOT the truth, honey. Your meds don't know how to do math, that's you. Your meds help make it easier to do your homework because they help you focus and not hate sitting still. It's a boost, that's all. You can still do it if you put all your energy into it. You just have to make decisions about how to budget your energy and decide if you want to use it for this, that's all.
I know you were talking about mental illness that comes and goes, but it also applies somewhat to these brain developmental differences.
Fidgets and stimming can also be super helpful, especially when meds wear off. They are useful in helping us focus and burn off energy that allows us to more easily concentrate. You're doing a great job as a parent! Good luck!
Let me just add a thing; sometimes it is actually impossible because even with medicine, if your ADHD is sever enough, you spend a lot of energy trying to manage your symptoms and it adds up so at the end of the day there is no mental energy left to do math maybe there isn’t even enough energy left to regulate emotions. If you somehow manage to push through that you start the next day with a little less energy and slowly slowly you burn yourself out.
A better fix for the problem is to schedule your day/time so that for example homework gets done while the meds are still in effect, maybe dinner can wait half an hour or you could talk to the school about doing some kind of homework class during a longer break with adult supervision and support.
Thankyou. Sharing your life experiences with ADHD has helped me tremendously.
I have ME/CFS and Complex PTSD..I also think I could have had mild ADHD as a kid...and when I get very tired now...I get ADD symptoms...that I DON'T have, when I'm not suffering from PEM (Post Exertional Malaise...also better known as Post Exertinal Neuro-Immune Exhaustion (PENE)...(that's how I know it's not a permanent thing!).
There is a 'PACING' method that helps people with ME/CFS, that can create better 'energy envelope' management, called 'SPOON THEORY'... that may be helpful in dealing with ADHD as well, as in ME/CFS..we have Adrenal surges, then PEM/PENE cycles..Push/crash cycles..just like you and your son seem to be experiencing.
I mention this, as it may be beneficial to helping you cope, on a day to day basis...it certainly helps me, when I implement 'Spoon Theory'..it helps me balance my energy, which helps me manage my other 'mental health issues.
*Post Exertional
The problem is that for people who are suffering trauma, loss, grief etc, there is not enough mental health support. Here in Australia you wait for months to get an appointment and then many weeks to get a follow up.
Sufferers need to have as a minimum weekly appointments
I r found so much support and really impactful courses in the personal development school (Thais G). I'm not sure if the interactive webinar times would work for you in Auz but a lot of people working through trauma and impact on attachment styles & relationships (incl work family social etc).
@@emilyb5557 thank you. I’ve checked out the website. Seems very interesting. I’ve done a lot of reading and videos on my own over the months. Things just get so overwhelming sometimes and on one’s own, it’s hard to make headway, so it’s definitely helpful I think to have a therapist working directly with you. I am doing a small online course at the moment, but am going to save your course reference as well. Thank you
Its the same here in USA. Actually good therapy is not widely available. Especially for abuse trauma, anxiety and recovery.
If it is available, because of the supposed specialized training and nature of it to help others… the cost to get such “help” is astronomically expensive.
One of the better groups here for dealing with my specific traumas from childhood and beyond is $160-$240 a SESSION!!! Group sessions are closer to $90 a session!!! Still too expensive!
I have 4 kids I homeschool and stay at home. We are on one income and with rising inflation worldwide, as so it seems, we do not have $400-$600 extra to just drop at this (cuz most of the really good mental health clinics are not allowed in medical networks, you have to self pay).
If these people really wanted to help, there needs to be non-profits set up to deal with this! I know things cost money but at some point we must serve society, take the financial hit to help more people get better so society can heal and get better!
I have had to do my own research, my own hard work and its taken 10x longer to work through and solve due to this. I am glad I have healed alot but there really should be more affordable help out there.
Many abuse trauma victims do not have access to money and knowing what it will cost (even if help or financial assistance is there-we dont assume that) usually turns us away and depresses us further that we cant get the help we need!
I dunno, do we need goverment support to do things that humans have being doing for eons? Up up until these latest few generations people didn't have this support, now its like air and we can't get enough.
Es gibt Therapeuten, wenn man selbst zahlt.
Regular talk therapy taught me absolutely nothing. I could have treated my eating disorder in my teens but instead of taking me seriously when I told them about my ed they took me on walks during my appointment because I was fat. In my early 30's now and got myself treated in an actual eating disorder center. Now I have something useful and love myself the way I am.
I treated my BED with talk therapy and I think I just got super super lucky with my therapist
Not every therapist is a good match
sometimes it’s about who you talk to. my first therapist was awful and didn’t listen to me. i finally have someone who listens and validates me.
but now i guess there’s other thing i have to work on.
I have been taking Lexapro for about a decade for GAD. While my anxiety never got worse overall it really hasn't gotten better. I was taught that acceptance is the key to your problems, so I accepted that I had GAD and that was just the way it was. Recently I've found out about alexithymia. Now in I working on facing the "what" of my anxiety. Trying to pinpoint why I'm anxious and then what made me feel that way. My anxiety is so much better now, but in my mind the meds were the cure and I didn't need to work on it anymore. A little bit of an overshare but someone might need to read it. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing this, and don't worry your story isn't even long to read
VORTIOXETINE works for me.
Drugs are bad, mmkay?
On a serious note, quitting pharma drugs helped my everything. Took a bit, but regular sleep/exercise/etc got me right. Those pills are poison. Maybe use a 0.5mg clonazepam if it's really bad one day, but I'd not take anything stronger.
But like... that's common sense. Of course anxiety has a cause
@@disgustof-riley8338the causes aren't usually addressed in talk therapy though.
Thank you for talking about this. This medical model really bothered me when I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It was like once you had one manic episode you could never be trusted again. And no one cared to investigate any contributing factors that lead to the manic episode in the first place... it was just "case closed, take these pills for the rest of your life". And I know I'll always have to monitor myself carefully but I'm sure I could make a lot of improvements just by eating better, exercising, and having a consistent sleep schedule. But I'm still trying to reach a point in my life where I have the necessary time and money to do maintain all those habits.
Awe, I am so sorry you feel so alone in your diagnosis. My daughter was diagnosed with Bipolar (1) 11 1/2 years ago. It was rough roads for about the first 6 years with the extremes of her mania and depression, to help her with her outpatient care, a drug that she would take willingly (a monthly shot), acceptance of her diagnosis, getting her through and moved on from a marriage with a narcissist to the last 5+ years doing very well. She is stable, 13 months sober from alcohol, in a good place with her new husband of almost 3 years, buying their first home the last 2 years.
She is an amazing person, I couldn't be more proud of her. She and I started doing yoga together 3 weeks ago. She is my best friend, my closest confidant, has a heart of gold. She has learned how to set boundaries with others and her narc ex, they have a child together, she had to nip his toxic behavior of trying to taint her 12 year old son against her. I helped her craft the assertive language to call him out and hold him accountable in texts, and then of course helped her to get through his onslaught of narcissistic replies, to process her emotions and talk her through reminding her not to take any of his lies personally, he was projecting, it's all him and gave her space to feel and vent, validating her. Later when she shared the text conversation with a friend, her friend's words were great validation to her. I hope this has given you some inspiration. There is hope, believe in yourself, you don't have to prove anything to anyone, only yourself. Remember to give yourself compassion, you deserve it.
@@girlgonewoof certain types of antidepressant drugs can and do send some into mania if they have bipolar, or are predisposed but haven't flipped into it. It doesn't cause bipolar, but it could seem that way especially if the patient was never manic in the past. I learned in a NAMI class (family to family) that mental illness like bipolar will typically present itself in a persons' early 20's or younger especially after a trauma, like childbirth. That's what triggered my daughters' illness.
My psychiatrist put me on Remerson almost 2 months ago. I filled out the patient intake paperwork ahead of my appointment that asks all the questions about family mental illness and substance use, etc., I read the leaflet that came with that drug, it says to tell your doctor if Bipolar runs in your family. My mother and my daughter both have it. He did ask me at the last visit something about my mood state, if I experienced or felt manic, which I haven't. It is something that I am paying close attention to.
@@girlgonewoof I think for me it was PTSD and taking Benadryl at night for my allergies. It wasn't making me drowsy just making everything trippy. But I had to be honest with myself and think of times I'd been hypomanic before. And there was definitely a long term pattern. But I had to do that reflection by myself. My doctor's barely asked, just heard from my mom I was hypomanic a few months before my full episode and thought case closed
My daughter was diagnosed with BPD, got off gluten and poof, she was able to get off the meds and BPD all gone. Sharing in case it could help. @sburkie9
@monipenny1000 wonderful for you to support your daughter in all those ways
I live in Japan. So to see this "western model" phrase pop up as a title as a juxtaposition against "eastern" is a bit ironic. Mental health care over here is horrid, lacking, unsupported, stigmatized heavily, and I could go on.
❤ sorry it is still so limited and stigmatized. Can you access support either professional or personal development/recovery communities online that are outside of Japan?
@@emilyb5557 not well. There are several issues, often timezone, and even just understanding the situation of a life abroad.
Damn. Sorry to hear that.
Whenever someone brings up “western” in these kind of context I always laugh and think “you don’t know the “eastern” way then do you? The “west” has definitely gotten its self in a not so great way to deal with or classify mental health but most of the east has a varying degree of “it doesn’t exist and we act like we don’t have basic knowledge to it” to “we don’t talk about it and if you do you are crazy and this will have repercussions on your life”
The “western” model is still light years ahead of most places in the east and to hear it being labeled as the “west” like its a bad thing in relation to everywhere else is kinda funny.
A friend of mine is very into psychology and she is very into labels. At a certain point, diagnosing dead people with NPD is about as useful as diagnosing them as geminis. Especially since labels don't do anything by themselves. Being told I was abused and traumatized did not help, though it was true. What helped was exercise, eating my vegetables, and being treated for endometriosis. This did not change my underlying temperment (a fear that caused me to cling to being "the depressed person"), because I remain a closed-off pessimist with a morbid sense of humor. But I can be that person and still have a life worth living.
The trauma is the key to your temperament. You need to heal from that to change.
what made u start exercising and eating ur vegetables
psychology definitely makes things worse when it tells people THEY are the problem, and not the abusive people and systems around them.
i think if we had a guaranteed livable basic income, people would know they have inherent value and be able to help themselves even when they're struggling the most, rather than being dependent and experiencing a loss of control.
Psychology doesn’t tell ppl abuse is not a problem. It definitely says that it is. You may be mixing up causes and solutions. 2 ppl can go through similar situations and react or feel differently. There are ppl who had more bad things happen to themwho are more mentally stable than those who have experienced less bad things. Telling ppl they must have bad mental health because they had tough up bringing can be rude and false.
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
J. Krishnamurti
This is the best argument for universal income that I have ever read.
This is absolutely true.
People would abuse the guaranteed income and not work. They certainly would not do the grunt work.
55 yr old with BPD, PMDD &CPTSD diagnosed. The cost for help is astronomical! I cannot work because of these illnesses, therefore help is limited. I just try to live a very quiet life, surrounded by love.🙏
God bless you, man. Dont give up.
You live in a country where they don't want you to be healthy apparently. That sucks. Maybe watching this channel can help you. There are things you can do yourself that may help a little and perhaps even a lot.
PMDD will eventually end with menopause I suspect.
I am glad you are surrounded by love. ❤
If you cannot work because of these, then apply for Social Security Disability (USA). You would also receive some health insurance that would cover the medical needs. When I was 40ish, I was too proud to do this. I was a housewife and could just hide my problems at home. Looking back, It would have helped my family more, if I had gotten the help I needed.
@@aurora571000Its hard to get... i tried a couple times.
From 16 I've heard I have depression, anxiety, social anxiety. These disorders were talked about a lot in high school. I had simple problems that metastasized. I have had zero friends for over a decade now and life feels like a nightmare. I struggled through university and chose the wrong path due to prioritizing the desperate attempt to seek stability and relationships ABOVE a viable career path. I live with my parents now in my 30s. I am stunted and can't leave due to the crazy cost of housing-- I saved enough for a down payment in 2015 and now those savings are next to worthless.
I feel weak and helpless. This entire time I have tried to help myself but my circumstances with dysfunctional family were simply more than I could handle. Nowadays I don't want to ever be awake and I numb myself however I can. I don't don't hope for the future. This has NOTHING to do with mental illness and everything to do with past pain, dysfunctional family, social isolation, having almost no life skills and no exit plan, and now financial hopelessness.
F+ck the mental health industry. I was nothing more than a paycheck.
I’m sorry to hear that, sadly your story is all too common. Best of luck
Love your content. I’m on disability after failed suicide attempt. I am bed bound with depression most days. I live with my cats and sometimes my boyfriend checks in on me. I don’t have a therapist right now. The last two quit when I was just starting to open up. I suggest your channel to my friends with mental health issues. You are very kind and I can tell you truly want what’s best for us. I pray a lot and I know religion isn’t the answer but it’s my last hope. My blood labs come back fairly normal except I did have mono in my teen years. I’m 34 going on 35. I refuse to lose hope. I want to be like you someday. I want to live. ❤
❤to you
💪🏼 keep going. Many people do get better. As long as you keep working at it the brain has to adapt to your new style of thinking. Intentionally thinking positive thoughts. Observing and challenging the negative thoughts when they arise. Moving your body, talking to friends, etc.
If you don’t have a therapist at the moment, meditation apps can be helpful guides and I recommend trying guided visualization meditations to really practice generating the feel good chemicals in your mind even if through a temporary imagination. It’s practice for your brain :).
Hi Marie, I hope you read this. I am drawn to your comment that you pray - and your wondering if religion could be the answer - if this video argues any point, it’s that belief is CRITICAL. We can’t just believe in any old thing, of course, but in truth - and the Bible says that even faith as small as a mustard seed is sufficient to make radical change (Matthew 17:20). If we trust in the one true God who cares for you, who took your punishments and burdens upon himself, who is that loyal, we have hope in Jesus. I will pray for you to grow in faith and that through that faith you have peace and discernment and that God will meet your needs, connect you to who and what will help you. 💜 With love.
Matthew 11: 27 All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. 28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
I am glad I made myself listen to this, because, of course you are right. I wish, though, that you had mentioned the reality that because we do not understand the biological (or, I would argue, fully understand the social) causes of depression, there are some people who are much, much harder to treat. I have endured over twenty years now of treatment resistant depression - along with occasional flare-ups of anxiety. The worst feeling in the universe is when you think you have finally found the answer, you are eating right, getting decent sleep, exercising, seeing your therapist, and the depression still comes back. Sometimes it hurts so much for the depression to sneak back that I almost wish I hadn’t started feeling better . . . I think there is real value in holding on to your power and believing that things can get better. But for me it has been incredibly valuable to frame my depression as something that I will never be rid of, a disability that I can and do work around, but also something that I cannot always control and that I have the right to ask for help and accommodation for. I often think that we are still in the blood letting stages of mental health treatment. We are bound to get things wrong as we learn to understand how and why our minds work the way they do. After all, a cough and fever can mean anything from a mild cold to a life-threatening infection. Some depressions are colds, some are cancer, and it doesn’t seem like we really have the knowledge yet to tell the difference. Little wonder we may have overcompensated a bit, but just because every depression is not permanent, doesn’t mean that none of them are. Meanwhile, I’m grateful there are people like you out there helping to heal those who can.
A very important video! Thank you! I hope a lot of people will see this. I have schizoaffective disorder. Society had always shoved it up my throat that I will either be in psychosis or non-functional in residual phase. I believed that for a long time. I believed that the only way to stay afloat are meds. But this year, something changed in me, and I changed. I wanted to change. I needed change. I discovered that I can actually, while properly managed with antipsychotics, live a fulfilling life. I just found my limits, what I can do to feel better, and other skills. My mental illness is chronic, as it is usually for schizophrenia-like disorders, but I can still enjoy my life. It doesn’t define me, at all. I’ve worked myself up to a point that I am indistinguishable from other functioning people. Compared to last summer when I was like a potato, laying in bed, listening to the voices, not caring about anything because ‘my life will be horrible forever’, I now have a job, I’m studying, I am enjoying my life. Mindset is important. Although I know, some people with that particular illness will not get better, I am just speaking about my case. I hope everything will work out, and my mental hospital experiences will end with the one I had a year ago. 😃
I sm so proud of you snd happy for you!🙌🏿🙏🏿
Thank you for sharing your story, I hope others will be encouraged. I'm so happy for the new life that you are making ❤
You're awesome!!
Keep chipping away at the things you can control 🤗
Thanks for sharing! 😎
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. No drugs worked for me. Talk therapy would help, and some life hacks worked great, but over the years, life got worse and worse. At 50 I was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD. I tried so hard for so many years, I was suicidal by the time I actually knew what I was dealing with. No doctors listened to me. I told them it was WAY more than depression and that antidepressants made me more sick, but no one took the time to properly sit me down and ask me questions- my Autism and ADHD was always there, and the depression was a symptom of being undiagnosed, not heard and misunderstood.
I saw at least 20 doctors and they all got it wrong- so sometimes it is the professionals that are wrong and maybe they could look deeper and care more, because there are still tons of undiagnosed Neurodivergent people, especially women and girls, out there. Doctors need to take more time than just skimming the surface and prescribing meds.
Thank you! I used to have depersonalisation disorder, anxiety, depression, maladaptive daydreaming and video game addiction for over 10 years and completely recovered from them with no medication - then when I started sharing with others how I recovered on my UA-cam channel, I noticed a trend when talking to others that sometimes they saw their mental health issues as something they cannot recover from - that it is just a part of them they can only manage. The main message I give to people is that you CAN recover fully from these issues - the issue is no one has taught them how to have the right mindset and the right skills they need to develop to overcome these issues.
I was recovered from gad two times before. 10 years on and off. I was think that i am broken in some way. Now im in gad cycle again but this time without therapy and meds only thry self education and acceptance. Things are slowly geting better. I hope i can get out from this once more.
I watched this really interesting video about Elvis' acting career, and I think Elvis had learned helplessness. He let his manager abuse him because he didn't think to stand up for himself! Elvis! The most charismatic guy in the world! So if you struggle with this don't feel too bad about yourself.
This video is so important. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and social phobia 11 years ago. My diagnosis became my entire life. It was who I was. I was constantly told depression was like diabetes and that I would need to take medication for the rest of my life. My therapist told me that I would probably never get better. I went to a community mental health clinic. It was common for clients to receive a diagnosis, go on disability, become lifelong patients, and never work again.
But as you said they did not look at the cause. It was caused by childhood trauma and abuse. It was also caused by poverty and and an unhealthy living situation. I figured this out on my own. I started processing trauma, changed my living situation, and got a 6 figure job. I am off medication and feel better than ever. It took me nearly 11 years of suffering to get here because of the medical model and how they constantly told me that it was a disease and it should be treated like any other illness.
But I wonder if the medical model is the prevalent model? Ive kniwn other people like me who had "treatment resistant depression." They were also taught the mecical model. They came from wealthier communities than mine yet still had the same result. Except i figured out the medical model scam.
I changed how I eat about 12 years ago (because of other unrelated health issues), and it completely-and unexpectedly-changed my life. I was just looking to lose weight, but within the first month I noticed that I felt less depressed. Over the next three months my depression got drastically better, and a year later I got off all my medications (which weren’t doing me much good anyway, as I’d been diagnosed with treatment-resistant depression). I have probably 5 or 6 diagnoses (of the depression and anxiety variety), and I’d been on over 40 medications since I was 16. I have genetic markers for depression and anxiety, and a long family history of mental health problems. I spent decades wanting to unalive myself every day, and honestly didn’t think I’d make it to age 36. But I’ll be 43 this October, and (weirdly) I don’t even think of myself as depressed anymore. I still have bouts of depression, and my anxiety is still pretty intense a lot of the time, but it’s livable. And it’s not my identity’s. I do what I can to help myself and I live a very different life than I used to, very proactive with a lot more self-compassion. I’m not really “better better” but I’m WAY better than I used to be. My life is probably 60% improved. I’m functional and active, and I can think clearly (which is magical after years of meds turning my brain to sludge). I used to feel totally helpless, but now I know things change and can get better. (Not perfect, but better.) I know it’s hard sometimes (or a lot of the time) , but little changes do add up❤
My pet peeve as a mental health professional is the practice of diagnosing traumatized children with ADHD. Clinicians should look at the whole picture and not depend on the symptoms only. It is my opinion that the DSM is biased toward diagnoses that can be treated with medication. Traumatized children need trauma treatment, not Amphetamines.
Excellent video. Thank you for breaking from the medical model.
So true!! Trauma can look a lot like difficulty paying attention. But since there are drugs for ADHD and not for trauma, children and young adults are just given prescriptions instead of actual healing.
I needed this today more than anything. I’m 23, been depressed and had severe anxiety since freshman year of high school. Have started to feel like this is just my life and it’s always gonna be this way. This gave me motivation
I was that person, severe depression, many episodes since 10, eating disorder, anxiety.... but I'm 29 and thriving. I learned from Dr Alok here on UA-cam, Dr Gabor Mate, meditation and introspection. Learn from non western perspectives, how to take control of your life, your feelings and thoughts. Diary of a CEO is algo great but I recommend the others first. You got this
@@Kaybye555 Thank you so much for the resources, I really appreciate the kind words.
Things can change ❤ keep taking care of yourself and never be afraid of digging deeper. "this is how I am" doesn't have to be the way you live. Never forget, your mind is in your brain, which is a part of your body. Taking care of your body is also taking care of your mind, i.e. eating well, sleeping enough, exercising.
Same I have autism and my mental illness started when I was 13. I whish I was more accepting of my autism back then and I was more open about it. Because the fact that I wanted to hide my autism in highschool contributed a lot to my mental illness.
I came to the opposite conclusion for my personal mental health after working with therapists and psychiatrists for years. No childhood trauma. Just naturally depressed. When I take daily antidepressants I feel happy. Without them, no matter how good my life is, I just can’t cope with life.
I see this all the time, especially in younger people. They have been medicalized and this is reinforced in schools, as well as the hedge fund owned mental health programs .
I was trained back in the 80’s , and what a great time to become a therapist! I am still in touch with many of the kids I worked with , and their kids and some grandkids . It was a great time in mental health- it was far more holistic.
Now it’s all about billing third party payers.
I would love to see a question as the first response after diagnosis.
Do you want your life to be different?
And if yes, followed by, how would you like your life to be different? Specifically what things do you want to keep and change? And then discuss options.
It is kind of glazed over. I think it would completely reframe the shame and helplessness that is currently abounding in patients.
I think doctors don’t want to give unrealistic hope or false sense of power to their patients. Nor insult miserable people with what seem like obvious maybe dumb questions, but I think these questions would shift things so very much. So so very much. It took me years to ask myself these questions, for it to even occur to me that it was my own personal choice and not an “ought to” scenario. I was so filled with shame and helplessness.
No matter how wealthy and famous you may become through your work
Please never lose you, because you have an amazing gift but a big part of that is your down to earth real personality. Your wisdom is truly amazing 🙏
Understanding learned helplessness was extremely hard for me. I thought I was being told I was weak and overreacting. What I didn't understand was I was a giant elephant with a string tied to my leg in the form of trauma. I may not roam as freely as I could, but therapy has helped me untie that string. Not to mention the value in knowing it's there.
I rwally like the part from 4:15 leading on to 5:06:
A depression diagnosis is not the cause of your symptoms, its the outcome of your symptoms.
In other (my own) words, "you dont have low mood and energy because of depression, you have depression because of your low mood and energy".
I find this incredibly empowering. My low mood is not a result of depresssion (something I seemingly can't control), rather I have low mood because something happened which I can fix and work on and eventually overcome (and low mood just happens to be called depression by some). This is also highlighted at 7:51.
See the difference? One is "i have depression therefore low mood and I cant do anything about it because I have depression" and the other one is "ah my boss yelled at me again for no reason, I know I'm doing my job just fine, he's just being an ass for no reason and it's affecting my mood at and after work. What can I do to fix that... Oh forgot to mention that some guy with a medical degree calls it depression but who cares, it's just a label, let me see what I can do with my boss".
The first one is passive and victim mentality, the other one is empowering. By no means am I saying that everyone with depression is facing such seemingly trivial issues, however I do believe that this mindset switch gives people the chance to do something about what is troubling them.
I know someone who has this particular problem. It is a struggle every time we talk and these self-diagnosed conditions are the cause of everything going wrong. We've also known each other long enough that I know nothing I say, no matter how carefully worded will help alleviate that line of thinking. I wish I knew how to help, but that learned helplessness is a cunning adversary.
I'm glad that when I started therapy and stuff, I at least had a mindset of "I think I have some mental disorders but I know mental disorders are treatable and I can get better. Not sure how much better, but we'll see." I'm sure I had them all a while before the diagnoses, so they're chronic whether or not they're lifelong, but "you may not actually have them forever, no matter how old you are or how long you've struggled" isn't something I knew was very common to happen.
I’ve been in recovery for codependency for over three years. It seems to me depression is a feeling that needs to be acknowledged, sat with, and grieved or a person will become “depressed” just like having an angry feeling could make someone “angry” if not acknowledged, sat with, and grieved. I also believe these feelings stem from something from childhood so the more we acknowledge our inner child and let them have the feelings, the more content our lives will be.
I love seeing a popular mental health channel explain this in a clear and compassionate way. The elephant metaphor is great. It's taken an immense and consistent effort to overcome my GAD & OCD... including changing a lot of systems in my life that at first didn't seem related to those issues. The progress has at times been painful, slow and nonlinear, but always worth it. If you are reading this - good luck on the journey ahead, you CAN get meaningfully better.
I have been stuck in a cycle of anxiety and depression for over 25 years, tried lots of meds and therapies, I am finally seeing progress in myself after watching and listening to YOU!! Breaking down the mechanics of these disorders was pivotal, for me, to begin working on myself. thank you sooooo much for "Break the Anxiety Cycle"!!!!! My middle son, age 23, has Autism, he is manageable now but raising him through child hood was soooo challenging, traumatic actually. As was becoming a paraplegic after a motor vehicle accident 33 years ago!!!! Oh and did I mention my 2 divorces, crazy crazy!! I have a good life despite these challenges, and using your lessons to break free from perceived threats helps so muchhhhh
So refreshing to hear this after many years not thinking about my past. I had a breakdown aged 18 in 2007 and I was given all sorts of diagnosis and meds were pushed. I knew deep inside medicalising my life experiences (trauma) and current temporary confusion and feelings at the time was wrong and made me uneasy. I knew i had never worked through complex unresolved relationships and situations and was dissapointed mental health services seemed scared of going near them. I was in mental hospitals and very unwell but I had a quiet strenght deep inside but no confidence to activate it or speak. After at least 7 different meds I had enough and a therapist who just listened and didnt give me cbt tasks as he was meant to, I found strenght and said no to diagnosis and meds. I applied cbt to my life myself, self gratitude and self educated through books and articles ( no good youtube then) and I have never had a prolonged depression, psychosis or anxiety since. It took about a buffer year and by 21 I was back studying and working. Im happy now in my 30s and feel much more rational than my peers and able to deal with complex situations amd feelings in life.
This is such a much needed message for our medical establishment.
I wasted too many years believing that I'd be permanently disabled for the rest of my adult life, after nearly dying in 2001. I've since recovered from the brain injuries and am a Senior at BYUI majoring in Public Health and have been working on top of that for over five years. I'm working on not being resentful towards mainstream medicine. I healed with natural and alternative methods...
I
Western medicine is excellent at acute stuff, like car accidents or pneumonia or even heart attacks, but it’s just not designed around chronic illness or preventative measures 😣
Why not be resentful? This is a for-profit industry built around making you a lifelong customer. Your good health is not in their best interest.
@@sattheer1493 You are absolutely right. Our current medical system is based off of war time medicine during WW1, to get troops back fighting in combat. The Flexner report came out and did away with the majority of natural medicine hospitals and schools. Thankfully they are coming back now and slowly and integrating into pharmaceutically train medical practices.
@@rustyshackle917 My self critic doesn't lead to improved health and wellbeing. Being resentful isn't a healthy state to live in. Western medicine did save my life with all of the surgeries. I can be grateful for that. Now I am dedicated to integrating natural and alternative health and healing practices with mainstream medicine.
Wishing you the best of health and wellbeing in your life and life ahead of you and your loved ones.
@@rustyshackle917Yep. And the insane are running the asylums, truly. Dangerous and narcissistic profession if you ask me.
1:43 I have CPTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder, severe anxiety, agoraphobia... I started therapy, special schools, and treatments when I was 14. I'm now 37.
I am one of the patients that has been able to get severe mental illnesses under control to test as if I no longer had these illnesses, but for me, and everyone I've ever known personally, we absolutely were not cured.
We learned healthy coping skills.
I went through dialectical behavior therapy. It's amazing, highly recommend. It's almost Buddhism in Psychological terms. Mindfulness, taking the middle path, etc.
Anyway, I love all of her videos that I've seen so far,
but right here,
implying that we were all cured of severe mental illnesses I would disagree with.
I'd say you can get them into remission.
I've been at places in my life where I was off all meds and doing very well. Therapy only once every 6 months. No self-harm urges even passing through my mind...I had made a real career, bought my first house...
Then I was hit with this awful pain and illness...
As my life fell apart
the mental illness snuck up on me with a vengeance, and
I was totally unprepared partly because people like this had told me I was better and the tests said I didn't have it.
I wish they'd say it differently. The test says I'm not exhibiting any symptoms or something.
I think maybe sometimes, you do have to take meds and do maintenance forever.
I'm living it.
Just like if you had a weak back and needed to stretch regularly and be careful.
The first instinct to overreact, run, hurt yourself, or whatever and after treatment it's closely followed by the new healthy coping skills. Eventually, in enough time the new healthy coping skill will become the instinct reaction... Like with self harm for example.
I didn't feel compelled to do that for a long time the thought didn't occur anymore.
But when I have mental health flare ups I do. Everything came back. Those old pathways were in no way gone, they lit right back up when I hit fight/fligh or dissociated or whatever.
Hit the next trauma.
If you've just got anxiety depression maybe idk
But those people with up to 8 diagnoses that she's talking about... It'd be interesting to see how they're doing 20yrs after testing "better."
Very well said. Thanks
After almost 35 years I learned that my anxiety and binge eating disorder was actually a result of ADHD. When I focused on anxiety, my symptoms did not really improve. But using strategies to address my ADHD has alleviated a lot of my anxiety. Also, normalizing that anxiety is my body's signal to pay attention to my mind/body needs. More importantly, working with my therapist on my childhood trauma has helped me understand how those neural pathways triggered my ADHD and that binge eating was my lifeboat and I don't need the lifeboat like I did during my childhood and teen years.
I would argue the same is true for most actual medical diagnoses, especially anything chronic. There’s so much we can do, and the mental health part of it is also a huge part of physical issues 😅
Like diabetes type 2. It is reversible through lifestyle changes. My mom insists she was destined to get it, but I asked her if she believes she would've still gotten it if she ate plant based and went running three times per week. She didn't like that question lol.
While learning all i have from you, it really pisses me off that therapy isnt more accessible for everyone, we tend to only know half the problem and facts without them
Truth, a comprehensive analysis must be done, which also includes; exercise, nutrition, disorganization, drama, social media use, living a chaotic lifestyle, etc.
The depression (clinical) IS a chemical imbalance. Also, learned helplessness is another name for depression. It's worth noting that some kinds of depression do have genetic background, but those are treatable too. I hope that "post treatment" state is considered when a patient no longer takes any medications.
another thing, in my experience, is that recovering from depression isn't always linear, and it's possible to feel like one is at their full ability again and no longer months (or years) behind the non-depressed people around them. there still might be things to learn and work to do, but it's not like it takes 5 years to recover from a 5 year depression
Wow " mental illness is not laziness or a moral failure" . I needed to hear this
This is what I believe in...no labels...I do realize some things need to change for me, but I'm not willing to rely on the typical labels that always make me feel helpless and I just talk and talk and talk to someone and never get anywhere. Also, personally I don't want to rely on pills to rob me of what remains of my power...my spirit any more. It's a hard road to follow but I've done my most wonderful things in my life with my own will power. I've felt I have had to have brief contacts with therapists that sometimes were helpful, but essentially I've had to learn many things.
My therapist and I both agreed to not give an official diagnosis. Though we both have an idea of what the diagnosis would be. Rather, we focussed on my experiences. I also heavily relied on "Body Keeps the Score" to try new things and iterate on reprogramming my nervous system. I see lots of progress, while slow, is progress nonetheless. Never resign to victimhood.
What is so bad about being a victim? A victim isnt weak, or powerless. A victim is strong enough to admit they have been hurt, and to stand up and heal despite the hurt. Stop perpetuating the idea that people who are victimized are just "being victims". Those feelings are valid, and the more we shun ourselves and others for being in need of more help and support than we are getting, the worse the hopelessness gets. Peace and love ❤❤
I've always considered myself as having a normal reaction to a very abnormal environment (one of ongoing emotional and verbal and sometimes physical abuse). How can you be psychologically healthy when your environment is so unhealthy. You try to cope and adapt by whatever way you can......
I always get depressed, over and over. But I do agree with this video. I try to compare this "mental illness" to a physical body ailment, lets say a sprained ankle... You can sprain your ankle, and it can heal. You can sprain it again and again, and heal again. Sometimes, it's caused by what you're doing, but you can learn to avoid it. Other times, it may be because you have a defective ankle, but you can learn to practice new ways of avoiding the spraining of the defective ankle... thanks for this video! It validates my idea for me❤
Diagnosed with depression had untreated adhd and had rage reactions snd suicidal attempts on THREE different depression meds. It messed my body up I was addicted to them as in my body would go into a serotonin overload when I tried to wean off and it was so physically uncomfortable I couldn’t stand it nor function. I was gaslit by doctors saying that these meds were not to be blamed for my behavior and they were not addicted.
I believe this is a very important video that so many diagnosed people with depression need to hear to obtain the hope they deserve to hear. What a practical, positive video!
Wtf!!! I have been depressed my whole life basically and I never once thought “this is how I’m just supposed to feel.” It feels SO unnatural and just WRONG! But for me my depression always came from my environment and trauma instead of just who I am, but it doesn’t matter. No one is supposed to feel like that!!
one of the best videos I've seen about mental illness; we need solution oriented information, not just a rehash of symptoms!
bravo!
*Trigger warning* So, as someone who struggles with depression and anxiety and other physical health issues, I like that you put a positive and hopeful spin on this and made sure to say at the end that these things are real and not weakness. I also like how you call out the holes in the mental health field and how they have failed us over and over again. However, I would disagree with some of what you are saying. For me and others like me, we are in situations where we can't work, live off of disability, which is not a lot, and suffer from multiple health issues that prevent us from living the life we want -- which results in depression. There are some things I cannot do, no matter how much I want to or try to, because my body will not allow for it and it bothers me, but it is then that I have to practice acceptance, which is HARD. We need more support groups that honor people where they are at. Our western culture is obsessed with "fixing" everything. And we all know that some things cannot be fixed. That doesn't mean you don't try. It also doesn't mean that one day a medication or therapy or something won't come along that will make it possible to fix that thing that is holding you back. But right now, it is what it is. Also, I disagree with you in that so many people battle depression, anxiety, PTSD, Bipolar disorder, addictions and BPD, ect. for decades and sometimes a lifetime. Some people do experience remission where for months or years they live a pretty satisfying life, but anything can trigger that person to relapse. Lots of people end up relapsing. Some people end up taking their own lives intentionally or accidentally. It's tragic and we need to honor that. People fight this overwhelming battle for decades and eventually they just cannot do it anymore. It's heartbreaking and it's real. And we don't know if there is anything anyone could have done to help them. Let's be respectful of that. We also leave people alone to fight these battles on their own without support. So, while I like your optimistic attitude and hopeful theories, they are not the whole story. They fall short. They may have their place in many circumstances, but it's not as simple as you make it sound. I wish it were.
I am so grateful that I got away from mental health organization in Canada. Useless and job keeping. Not a system that cures. I’m desperately working on UNDOING the damage caused by their system. 💝
I feel this whole idea of going into a therapists office and them asking you so many questions -- I'm starting to get tired of being seen as helpless. Yeah, I have some problems, who doesn't though? Their intention isn't to make you feel bad, but they *automatically* make you feel like you're broken by this.
And oftentimes you remain in that state forever because you're implicitly being asked questions that make you feel you're in need of being treated as fragile -- I truly hate this. Like a personal anecdote for me: a doc asked me recently in an effort to gain a baseline: "how many friends do you have? give me a number of times you go out every week" -- like wtf, I might not be a social god, but I try to be nice to people, enjoy my time around others, I occasionally get invited to do things, etc. By asking questions like this, they're implicitly keeping you in a loop of judgement.
I hate being told to meditate and exercise because I already do, I also eat nutrient dense meals and low sugar. Come to find out my body doesn’t produce hormones properly, in a way that diet, exercise and meditation do not fix. This was missed for 20years because they kept saying I must not be exercising or meditating or eating healthy like I said I was. They tried to say I was lying, that it was just anxiety or depression, they never tested my hormones until I specifically asked, and that’s when I finally got a real diagnosis and started treatment that actually does help in a way the mental health management techniques and medicines never could.
I was told by a psychiatrist that depression gives a person brain damage. I inferred from this that there is no way, no way in hell, that I will ever be free of depression. I gave mindfulness a one year shot, I worked hard on it every day. If neuroplasticity is a thing, it's not a thing I can accomplish, it's just too difficult. So I am effectively screwed. I have wanted to d!e since I was 10, I am 63 now. I have identified as my depression to such an extent that I don't know who else to be.
So if one psychiatrist that you happened consult told you one thing that is keeping you trapped, and other psychiatrists tell other people other things that don’t keep them trapped, does that mean that healing from depression is basically random?
Neusoplastisity is a thing. We use it every day even of just by default. I wish you the best.
@@mintwally7200 Random and based on luck or lack of luck. For example, antidepressants are effective on approximately 65% of people, therefore 65% of people are lucky and 35% of people are unlucky, just like some people are born with a weakness in the wall of an artery that will someday cause a giant aneurism. Some people can wrap their heads around mindfulness and others can't. The ones that can do it are lucky and the ones that can't are unlucky, and I've found a ton of people who can't. No matter how hard I tried, I could not make mindfulness work, therefore I am unlucky. Maybe I'll get lucky and have a giant aneurism and go to heaven.
I feel like this is meant more for short term sufferers than chronic ones. I’ve tried time, meditation, exercise/activity (now too disabled for the former anyway), all kinds of meds, and many therapists. There are no med solutions and therapy does nothing for me. It’s been over a decade and it’s never gotten better in a meaningful lasting way. So if there are other options off the beaten path that would be a better video for me to watch
😢
Hey... Me too. I keep trying, i try to come up with so many different ways to get over my addiction to the phone and escapism, but i keep falling back into the same pattern. It's exhausting.
@therapy in a nutshell:
You say that we can make changes step by step. I've got depression that goes up and down. The problem that I encounter with the small steps that when I make changes it's not enough to lift me out of depression. So it goes a bit better when I make a healthy change, but before it gets me out of the depression enough, the depression gets way worse and I fall back in my old behaviour. So I keep getting nowhere endlessly.
I've got plenty of therapy based on ACT and mindfulness. I know the things to do and think. I just can't keep the good behaviours/ healthy changes long enough to break through and 'solve' the depression.
don't focus on solving, rather focus on mitigation and learning to take pride in small steps, no matter how small the effort is, as long as you are consistent. you will see results. the same way that depression didn't happen overnight but creeped up on you.
@@zidan40o0 That's the problem: keeping the consistency. For some reason that is super difficult. How do/ did you do it? What helps you?
It’s possible that when you make a change, subconsciously you are afraid of the change, and you self sabotage, or just give up out of fear of failure. Until you address the root of the reason for depression, or learned helplessness, sometimes just trying to create a habit is not enough, perhaps. I have had the same problem. There are a lot of things going on with me, but until I understood the reasons why I was doing what I was doing, or not doing what I should do, I couldn’t make a change last. I think I procrastinate out of the fear of not meeting others’ expectations or not wanting to have to meet others’ expectations anymore, and a fear of being in conflict with others and losing. I think this came about because my family was not very warm, they made it difficult, if not impossible, to attach, and I learned that I had to please them in hopes of any approval. That made me afraid to do anything without someone else wanting it, and it also made me depressed because I felt powerless to get what I wanted. I felt like that for years. The fact that I therefore cannot advocate for myself, and don’t feel that anyone cares what I think or want causes me to be depressed. All these years I thought I had depression and what I really had was dysfunction, especially within relationships. Once I figured that out, I see some movement forward.
Unfortunately, I believe most counselors are poorly equipped to help most people who have had trauma, and I have learned what has helped me from UA-cam videos, or a few books. That’s sad, because they made a lot of money off of me for nothing, and it makes me mad, but it is what it is.
@MarvelousMarie92 I would never say it's "ridiculous." As a society, we DO shut off mindfulness. Just saying we're mindful of it because it exists...no, that's actually an argument against us being mindful. Like when you drive the same route to work every day, so your brain puts it on autopilot. Dealing with depression means it eventually becomes a baseline and you really don't think much about it. As proof, I've dealt with depression since I was a child (I'm in my 40s now). Just this past week, I was trying to get into a major study about depression, which involved 2 preliminary questionnaires, a 15-minute Zoom interview, and finally a 2-hour diagnostic interview. The questions they asked were SO difficult for me to answer, precisely because I am not mindful of what's going on. I know I'm depressed, I know I have low energy, but I don't take stock of these things in the moment.
Being mindful would be to notice these things, and to recognize what caused them. I can guarantee you that the vast majority of us are just cruising on autopilot.
YOU may not care for mindfulness practices. That's fine. That's why there are so many modes of treatment out there, because there's no one thing that works for all of us. But to sneer at it, generalize it as "ridiculous," is totally unnecessary. After all, how're you supposed to find the root of anything if you're not paying attention? (Which makes me realize you might not actually know what mindfulness entails...)
@MarvelousMarie92 That's not what mindfulness is. It has to do with being present and grounded (something that is often difficult when you're depressed). It's also about not over identifying with thoughts and feelings (emotional and physical). Mindfulness has been helpful to me in broadening my lens so I can see a fuller version of the picture even when I'm suffering with major depression, autistic burnout and chronic physical pain. It helps me see that it's not just "always there" but ebbs and flows in intensity and presence. And it helps me see the good things as well as the challenges. I'm not saying it's always easy or that it helps everyone, but it's not about ruminating on the thing that's troubling.
I have a friend whom I love dearly, who's been diagnosed with something akin to perpetual depression, meaning he firmly believes he will NEVER not be severely depressed. I grew up with depression as a very big presence in my life, though I wasn't aware of it, and my whole teenage and young adult experience was severe depression. I know everyone's experiences is different, but I firmly believe our attitude has a major effect on how we deal with things, and I think my friend's firm belief that he can never live without depression, thanks to this diagnosis, is really detrimental to him. I love him, and don't want him to feel like I don't respect his opinion and experience, but I'm scared for him, and wished he would be more open... I believe he falls in under this "learned helplessness" category 😕
This is a super important message- thank you for putting it out there. I definitely don't consider myself a "depressed person" - but I have had very key moments in my life where I suffered with depression- but through working either on my own or with a therapist I got through those moments and am not always "suffering with depression" and actually, the more I learned, the more I have been able to notice early signs and make changes before it escalates into something worse. I don't think I've had a major episode in about 3 years- despite how difficult life has been. I work through those moments and continue to find joy in others. Also, with my "anxiety" - I have grown and developed tools to prevent it from being as debilitating- Ultimately, yes, people can get better.
I'm a practitioner and must say, your videos are amazing. Thanks for posting them!
This is bar none, no question in my mind, the most important video many people will ever watch. It's a hard lesson to swallow, though, because the alternative is deeply reflexive work.
Depression is a concept meant to encapsulate a multitude of symptoms. The concept does not exist in the brain, it's just a way of organizing thoughts around complex symptoms. But most depression is acute. Most chronic mental issues, sans any legitimate underlying physical conditions, are exacerbated by the inability to re-frame experience outside of the personal and the negative. And it's self-reinforcing if people don't understand how that works.
re-framing depression as a signpost for change actually amazing, I've never heard anyone use it in that context. A mindset brought on by a need for change, or clarity. But too often people look externally for that change or clarity. When the real answer lies within.
People often think it's something physically wrong with them. My sister grew up telling me it was all chemical imbalances. This destroys agency, people think they're stuck forever with a condition they don't actually "have". And you can greatly improve symptoms by doing many of the things you list. But the most important thing is getting people to more accurately understand both mental-health diagnoses, which leads to better treatments - and contented lives.
It's not you. It's the concepts that have been handed to you, and the doctors who don't correct their patients because they don't understand it themselves.
Preach. I hate the idea of 'managing anxiety.' You can 'manage' it if you like, but boy, it's a whole lot better to just get rid of it entirely and that's entirely possible.
I've been counseling since 2007, this might be the best presentation of mental illness that I've ever seen. Well done.
People do this a lot with advice in general. They think their case is so different/special/unique that advice couldn’t possibly work for them.
Thank you for talking about this ! I came out of that locked in mind set after removing myself from the US for a few years. For one thing, when in the depth of a depression cycle personally it feels like too deep a pit that we regularly question if we would ever climb out of. Its part of the experiential reality of the mental disease. But it is true that when seeking help, mental health professional often talk to us about 'managing' the disease over presenting it as something that can be completely overcome in due time , where a life without medication is possible. This feeling of unending disease is further set in stone by the excruciating process of finding the medicine that is a 'right fit ' for you. After a few cycles of experimenting and calibration, people feel like it is a life long thing...The whole process is further exacerbated by the inherent complication of finding a mental health professional who your insurance will cover and getting enough appointments and access to support at crucial times. I can only imagine the plight of people living with more complex mental health diseases. My heart goes out to them..
Spot on! Irene , my wife runs a mental health agency , just like the name implies, mental health, not mental dis-ease . The key to helping their patients be well is teaching them to focus on the healthy part of themselves, not dwell on instances where they suffered. The ego is impeccable at reminding you of your failures, physical or mental, an expert ruminator - putting labels on everything( modern medical acronyms hurt more than they help).Therapy should not be a decades long endeavor !
I used to work at a crisis day hospital in the UK. We taught service users ways to manage their symptoms better. That included teaching them Mindfulness and the benefits of exercise and a healthy lifestyle. Unfortunately we still had some of them coming back.
I absolutely love you and your advice and explanations- as a nurse I’m promoting your channel in a group I run.
Ty for giving the world peace of mind
This is so important and so amazing someone is advocating for people like this. Thank you for your kind service to help people!
Wow. My last therapist told me I would always struggle with anxiety and depression, and I found that very discouraging.
Okay so woah??? I'm super grateful for this video, as I haven't thought a whole lot about this phenomenon of learned helplessness. Thank you also for going into the whole "what's CAUSING the symptoms" conversation.
This was exactly why I left the field after 7 years of study. I realised there were things that helped me with my own issues that were nothing to do with the talking therapies or medicine. Things like hiking and pushing myself to do things I found uncomfortable like socializing and work. The worst I ever felt was during and after conventional therapy and when coming on and going off medication.
Best video ever for people who are going through something like this. So much so motivation. Thank you
Thank God I was recommended your channel a few years ago Emma ❤️❤️❤️. Some of your advice and wisdom has made my life so much better and ability to deal with anxiety and depression.
Emma, you are a gift! Thank you for putting in so much work, love, generosity and energy into making the world a better place. You are an angel
BRAVO!!!! Your viewpoint is on POINT!!!
for me i said i had ptss because no one would diagnose me. but my mom and my brothers did get the diagnosis after i found out i had it.
for me it was a way to confirm that there was something wrong. because i was so used to just carrying on, and stuff all of my emotion deep down.
and suddenly it just clicked, i knew the way i was feeling was not healthy.
i feel mental healthcare is very bad, at least over here where i live.
i feel the therapists are often in a unhealthier state of mind as the patients.
and the good therapists don't last long in an enviroment where everything has to be done by the books, and snuffs out people's passion.
Thank you for this video, it was so helpful and motivating - it's so easy to blame ourselves for mental illness and keep ourselves stuck in a grey state but this video reminds us that there is always hope that we can get help and get better / nothing is forever. A much-needed watch!
This is probably one of the most intelligent videos i've ever seen. Thank you for bringing those thoughts into the open!
This is such a useful, helpful mentality. Love this. I truly feel grateful that I kinda came to this conclusion on my own, but I also know that it’s because I put in the time to learn to meditate, occasionally journal and make sure to get out into the sun whenever I can. Gratefulness really helps too. Thanks for sharing, from a mental health professional’s standpoint!
Hi Emma, before watching this video, i just wanted to thank you for reconnecting me to my faith while also giving straightforward mental health advice.
You are appreciated.❤
I've always been a "take charge of your life" kind of person, & it served me well, thinking & working my way out of a serious 5 yr adolescent depression & managing my "different way of thinking". Serious but optimistic has made me very productive.
Menopause, turning 50, career adjustments, my mother's traumatic death, & more all happened during the Panic. I'm struggling towards health but it has broken me. Everything feels different; my body, my thinking, my temperament. Like my body & life got a "reboot" that is full of glitches & previous solutions aren't working very well.
The Better Help therapist I tried was nice but naive, didn't seem to be saying much, & wanted to spend a lot of time on "busy work". I don't need to dig up & relive 40+ yro trauma that I already moved through, I need solutions now.
Thanks, seemed like a good place to vent. ❤️
Thank you for this wonderful video, gives a lot of proper perspective on what can be a limiting & upsetting culture of “stuck in diagnosis”
Hi uploader! i completely agree with your description of depression and i was able to overcome it myself with that in mind. Retraining myself to respond differently has been very effective and i developed a language and understanding of my condition to counteract the emotions when necessary. i make time for myself when i start to feel depressed and express my emotions which helps a lot.
This is the best channel. Thank you.
One important thing I want to add - in many cases, "genetics" is often generational trauma in disguise. This was honestly the main roadblock to my healing, and my life transformed after realizing that I wans't destined to be depressed be because of my mother's genes, I was depressed because of her presence in my life. After I moved out and significantly reduced contact with her, I realized just how much I was being affected by the daily exposure to a family dynamic which enabled and promoted her ideals of learned helplessness when it comes to living with mental illness.
Hope this can give a lightbulb moment to someone out there.
I was in the same situation. My mother had been seeing the same psychiatrist for 20 years and was deep in learned helplessness and “genetic” perceptions of mental illness. She had grown up in extreme poverty and had been molested by a police officer as a child. Previous generations of her family were likely even worse off. My father’s family immigrated from the Netherlands a generation after the occupation by the Third Reich, and he had also experienced poverty and bullying in the army as a youth.
When I first attempted suicide at 16, my mother wrote me a letter saying “What walked with me walks with you now”. Prior to this, she had flown to another state to have an affair and left me, her vulnerable teenage daughter already experiencing depression etc. because of school bullying, alone in the house with a husband who had rage issues and was well aware he was being cheated on. The idea of genetic destiny was more convenient for her, as it meant she didn’t have to own up to her own misbehaviour. She was Catholic, so she was predisposed to thinking religiously. After I went NC with my parents, I was able to see her “mental illnesses” for what they were: coping mechanisms for an abusive husband she felt unable to divorce because of her religion and/or societal expectations. This lady is very much right in that depression can be protective, but that’s precisely how people fall into the trap of victimhood. And victims can easily become perpetrators in their own right.
To this day, I remain a hardline critic of religion and mental illness as identity/lifestyle. Chances are you’re not sick, you just came down on the side of the have-nots at birth, like most of us. And neither Jesus nor a psychiatric label should be used to sweep generational trauma under the rug; that’s how people end up with religious and/or therapy trauma.
This is so incredibly hopeful - love that about your videos.
Fantastic. I often feel exasperated when I try to break this down for my clients who are rigidly stuck in a diagnosis label, but I think your metaphors will really help. Thank you so much for sharing your work
Someone who articulates my thoughts clearly. Thank you.
This is a good reminder. I definitely have chronic depression and anxiety, but it was good to think that I think I’m doing a good job at not allowing that to be an excuse. I’m slowly chipping away and things that I should change to help and not giving up in my mind and heart. I’m concerned that I have an unhealthy relationship that is contributing, but that’s okay. We’re working on it. Just have to be patient. The more I worry the less effective I am at improving, so it’s time to just let that pattern go! It doesn’t help. ❤️
I've been saying this for a long time. I grew up before therapy was common. I had some OCD behaviours when I was younger - I got over them because no one told me I couldn't.
Thank you for putting this out there, Emma. It's so relevant. 💙