Sufjan Stevens - Wallowa Lake Monster (Official Audio)

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  • Опубліковано 23 сер 2024
  • Order it here: smarturl.it/gre...
    Lyrics:
    As if you know the story of Wallowa Lake:
    Leviathan first hid in the deep where her children sleep
    She kept them hidden from the plague
    But have you heard the story of my mother’s fate?
    She left us in Detroit in the rain with a pillow case
    Fortune for the paper weight
    We followed her to Joseph, near the Indian raid
    She wept among the weeds, hide and seek, for the fallen chief
    Spathiphyllum on his grave
    And like the cedar wax wing, she was drunk all day
    We put her in the sheet, little wreath, candles on the crate
    As the monster showed its face
    As she waits for her children in the shade
    Demogorgon or demigod the ghost parade
    No oblation will bring her back to our place
    She stayed within the deep end of Wallowa Lake
    The undertow refrained with the flame of a feathered snake
    Charybdis in its shallow grave
    She gave us one last feature: the fullness of her face
    In the shade of “Hin-mah-too-yah…” (Red Napoleon)
    As the demon took her place
    As we wait for the waters to reside
    Her remarkable stoicism and her pride
    When the dragon submerged we knew she had died

КОМЕНТАРІ • 531

  • @spiritkazoo
    @spiritkazoo 6 років тому +349

    SO many people listening to Sufjan and crying- he's the country's honorary grief counselor.

    • @doctorcrankyflaps1724
      @doctorcrankyflaps1724 5 років тому +6

      I was literally crying to a Sufjan song 10 minutes ago. Your comment is so true : )

    • @komal146
      @komal146 4 роки тому +7

      *world's

    • @CRUMPETSHERE
      @CRUMPETSHERE 4 години тому

      Can you explain? I think I want to die and he saves myself

    • @CRUMPETSHERE
      @CRUMPETSHERE 4 години тому

      Sufjansteven made my life better

    • @CRUMPETSHERE
      @CRUMPETSHERE 4 години тому

      THE BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD (FORME) SUFJAN STEVENS) AND ANDY DICK

  • @annabellenonimous1302
    @annabellenonimous1302 4 роки тому +704

    I feel like no other song has ever captured the level of awe I felt for my mother as a child. I loved and feared her in equal measure, and all I wanted was to be with her. Then as I grew I started to see her illness, and began to understand what was happening more and more. It was kind of like watching the end of some great mythical creature playing out on a scale so much larger than my world seemed able to contain.

    • @Ididntaskforahandleyoutube
      @Ididntaskforahandleyoutube 3 роки тому +39

      That's powerful writing.

    • @bellahray5495
      @bellahray5495 3 роки тому +11

      You described my mother's life

    • @davidwong656
      @davidwong656 3 роки тому +18

      Shit I truly teared up. Never felt anything more. I dont think my mom will ever understand how much I loved her even through the pain.

    • @april_mae513
      @april_mae513 2 роки тому +3

      That is so beautiful

    • @SensoriaMaRia
      @SensoriaMaRia 2 роки тому +21

      I am a dying Mom. I have 4 beautiful children by birth and by bonus. I have 3 grandwees. I'm dying from a horrific disease that takes piece by piece of me. In this song and your profound post, I see and feel the things my precious children cannot say to me through the loss, grief, and suffering. I hold you in radical gratitude and LOVE you for listening to your heart and sharing it so beautifully. Only Light! MaRia

  • @bigkingspeakerdwestemperor5068
    @bigkingspeakerdwestemperor5068 6 років тому +299

    I pity anyone who has never listened to Sufjan.

    • @samuelclemens8361
      @samuelclemens8361 Рік тому +1

      "I pity the fool" ....
      was originally Mr.T's quote about people who've never had the pleasure of listening to Sufjan, and frankly I agree with both of you.

  • @comeupandseememakeme
    @comeupandseememakeme 6 років тому +145

    This song is like the final whisper of Carrie and Lowell. Like the last word before it has to be put to bed for good. What more can Sufjan say he certainly poured his heart about it all.

  • @Jacob32905
    @Jacob32905 6 років тому +456

    This dude is unbelievable.

  • @iandt1367
    @iandt1367 6 років тому +123

    For me, this is the most amazing song Sufjan has ever shared with the world in his beautiful career.
    I can barely explain what I feel, especially during the last section of the song. It's like I'm smoothly drowning into a peaceful oblivion.

    • @prurido
      @prurido Рік тому +1

      i feel u ❣️

    • @blackmice7
      @blackmice7 6 місяців тому +1

      It is truly transcendent

  • @thecrow1225
    @thecrow1225 6 років тому +280

    Good God, the last three minutes of this track are unreal. So haunting. I’m taken to another realm.

    • @chelsearieeliza6935
      @chelsearieeliza6935 4 роки тому +3

      So trueee

    • @OscarGT25
      @OscarGT25 3 роки тому +3

      If there is a heaven, perhaps that's what it sounds like there.

    • @miguelpaz9282
      @miguelpaz9282 3 роки тому +1

      I thought I was the only one to feel, I'm relieved it's not that I am going crazy or at least not just me

  • @Archwindom
    @Archwindom 6 років тому +113

    The lyrics of this song make me think of a family losing their mother to alcoholism. Additionally, it is sung very beautifully.

    • @sohakes
      @sohakes 6 років тому +49

      It's about his own mother, she was an alcoholic among other things. This music was originally from Carrie and Lowell (where she sings about her death) too.

    • @samsalamander8147
      @samsalamander8147 Рік тому +1

      I feel like I have lived this drunken day at the lake with my own mother who is an alcoholic and is afflicted with bipolar disorder. This song touches me on a deep level I can’t describe it’s like Sufjan peared into my childhood and pulled out a deep forgotten memory that is painful yet cathartic.

  • @TheLemonExperience
    @TheLemonExperience 6 років тому +1303

    Subaru Sedans is at it again.

    • @QgabrieleQ
      @QgabrieleQ 6 років тому +32

      signed in to like your comment, great keep it up

    • @qiqifang8876
      @qiqifang8876 6 років тому +2

      yeah😭

    • @thirstypilgrim97
      @thirstypilgrim97 6 років тому +4

      Keep making those on point youtube comments my man! lol

    • @huzizach
      @huzizach 6 років тому +6

      oh man! you're a precious lemon!

    • @rebecaaras
      @rebecaaras 6 років тому +4

      ow '-' I couldn't understand

  • @oriananguyenvan1877
    @oriananguyenvan1877 6 років тому +279

    The most beautiful voice I ve heard. I adore this artist I don't think I am wrong in saying that he is a beautiful person, I really feel connected with Sufjan. I've attended so many concerts, so found of so many music styles, but when I saw Sufjan on stage both in France where I come from and in Dublin where I live, I really feel he was welcoming us at home. So cosy, funny yet magical atmosphere. It makes me shiver anytime I listen to him,. Sometimes I feel nostalgic in a beautiful way listening to his songs, yet I never feel alone as I have the feeling to be with a spiritual, kindly friend. I feel so happy. I even suffered panic attacks following a trauma for a while, and listening to Sufjan was always the soothing way to chill down. I just wish him the best in his life, he is giving so much to many of us, I wish he realises the impact he has on turning our lives better, isn't it the most beautiful goal to achieve to make someone happy?

    • @blahblahblahblahbla2705
      @blahblahblahblahbla2705 4 роки тому +5

      Honey, you right.

    • @itgetter9
      @itgetter9 4 роки тому +4

      Oriana Nguyen Van: You're a beautiful soul. I can tell by your comment. Peace to you.

    • @oriananguyenvan1877
      @oriananguyenvan1877 4 роки тому +5

      @@itgetter9 thank you for post there, I believe you are the one thoughtful taking the time to write those words. Bless you.

  • @ohjemima5100
    @ohjemima5100 6 років тому +82

    the music of sufjan stevens accompanies me since i'm 16. it touched me deeply and helped me out of some very deep valley's. i'm 30 now, my musical taste has gotten wider, a lot of artists came and went, but sufjan stevens stays. i keep being amazed by his music, old and new and i am grateful to incorporate such beauty into my life.

  • @thatsmyboye
    @thatsmyboye 6 років тому +797

    No greater example of musical flexing than calling a track this good an "outtake"

    • @trashtvinternational
      @trashtvinternational 6 років тому +3

      boyep2 Who called this outtake??!??

    • @tango31313
      @tango31313 6 років тому +11

      The album was a masterwork

    • @M0ON4.visuals
      @M0ON4.visuals 6 років тому +14

      Can the word "flexing" just go away

    • @thatsmyboye
      @thatsmyboye 6 років тому +66

      I'm not editing the comment, so, not today!

    • @fantasticsituation9461
      @fantasticsituation9461 6 років тому +12

      just had a funny mental image of sufjan in the club iced out....this man is a legend

  • @lauraberkholtz7959
    @lauraberkholtz7959 6 років тому +86

    The Greatest Gift is Sufjan Stevens himself. An angel in our midst, singing to God for all of us.

    • @lauraberkholtz7959
      @lauraberkholtz7959 6 років тому +8

      This is so bewitching. The more I listen to this song the more I fall under its spell. Suf has never used his vocals better. It's so wonderful that I'm even replying to myself, lol.

    • @lauraberkholtz7959
      @lauraberkholtz7959 6 років тому +6

      I love you :-)

  • @janerosales7697
    @janerosales7697 6 років тому +18

    never thought i'd hear a song with the word "demogorgon" in it. what a gem! i don't understand these lyrics but they are beautiful and poetic.

  • @minimalist.twinkle
    @minimalist.twinkle 5 років тому +65

    Why god, why????
    Sufjan is so underrated why?????
    His songs are like poetry. You listen one and next and next and you keep on listening
    plug in your earphones and you will find yourself in a different zone...
    Overwhelmed!

    • @MelBrennan
      @MelBrennan 3 роки тому

      Why do you say he's underrated? He has a huge following, does concerts all over the world and has won lots of awards...

  • @stonebutch
    @stonebutch 5 років тому +37

    this song makes me feel nostalgia for things i have not experienced

  • @HeatherRoot-Art
    @HeatherRoot-Art 6 років тому +58

    Oh how I adore the etherial sounds of Sufjan Stevens!

  • @OliWalsh38
    @OliWalsh38 2 роки тому +26

    There's a bit around 00:00 to 6:52 that i ABSOLUTELY love
    :)

  • @gonza55558
    @gonza55558 6 років тому +32

    So sad lyrics. I think the "monster" was the squizophrenia that his mother had. Beautiful song. This b-sides disk is really the greatest gift to people who loves "Carrie & Lowell". Thank you Sufjan.

  • @ventoventi
    @ventoventi 2 роки тому +10

    honestly, this reminds me of my own mother quite a lot. she was not abusive, but prone to common fits of anger where, in the worst case scenario, she would hit and scream at me. she is an incredibly strong woman, the strongest i have ever known, but has her own issues and trauma that got the best of her at times. the mix of admiration, love and paralysing fear that i felt for her has been captured perfectly here, almost concerningly so.
    alas, i’ll probably never clear the air with my mom over how she treated me, but she will always be my mother and i will always love her (for better or for worse).

  • @SteveHugunin
    @SteveHugunin 6 років тому +179

    WALLOWA LAKE MONSTER (lyrics):
    As if you know the story of Wallowa Lake
    Leviathan first hid in the deep where her children sleep
    She kept them hidden from the plague
    But have you heard the story of my mother’s fate?
    She left us in Detroit in the rain with a pillow case
    Fortune for the paper weight
    We followed her to Joseph, near the Indian raid
    She wept among the weeds, hide and seek, for the fallen chief
    Spathiphyllum on his grave
    And like the cedar wax wing, she was drunk all day
    We put her in the sheet, little wreath, candles on the crate
    As the monster showed its face
    As she waits for her children in the shade
    Demogorgon or demigod the ghost parade
    No oblation will bring her back to our place
    She stayed within the deep end of Wallowa Lake
    The undertow refrained with the flame of a feathered snake
    Charybdis in its shallow grave
    She gave us one last feature, the fullness of her face
    In the shade of Hin-mah-too-yah… (Red Napoleon)
    As the demon took her place
    As we wait for the waters to reside
    Her remarkable stoicism and her pride
    When the dragon submerged we knew she had died

    • @changes165
      @changes165 6 років тому +1

      Slow Cheetah perfect

    • @nt4382
      @nt4382 6 років тому +11

      The lyrics are literally in the description

    • @SteveHugunin
      @SteveHugunin 6 років тому +17

      They are now. :) They weren't yesterday when I posted this. Great song! Cheers Cat!

  • @ZimmerSquash
    @ZimmerSquash 6 років тому +212

    I did not expect this to come out.
    Nor did I expect it to be of this scope and beauty.
    An absolute contrast to other carrie and lowell songs.
    It sounds as if I'm deep in the sea, admiring the beauty of the dragon from below.
    Thank you, Mr Subaru

    • @coleb9410
      @coleb9410 6 років тому

      You didn't like Carrie and Lowell?

    • @ZimmerSquash
      @ZimmerSquash 6 років тому +5

      Cole Bauman Loved it

    • @AsthmaticKitty
      @AsthmaticKitty  6 років тому +38

      🙏

    • @tiagomnlmnl
      @tiagomnlmnl 6 років тому +3

      ZimmerSquash i think it's a reference to Lilith, the woman who turned into a dragon in one of the apocryphal books of the Bible.

    • @Laerobwon37
      @Laerobwon37 6 років тому

      So appreciated. Thank you Sufjan!

  • @josefk.3887
    @josefk.3887 2 роки тому +12

    I haven't ever heard anything similar to Sufjan's songs. All are really unique and I love them!!!

  • @joshborders4089
    @joshborders4089 6 років тому +16

    There are sad days, and there are days Suf releases new music. These days are also sad, but in a good way. Thank you, Sadjan Stevens.

    • @SensoriaMaRia
      @SensoriaMaRia 6 років тому

      Josh Borders I really appreciated your comment. All good and light to you

    • @SensoriaMaRia
      @SensoriaMaRia 6 років тому

      Josh Borders I lay yet again in a hospital merely delaying what will be done. The suffering has crushed me and all I love. The darkness is rising... we are in Napa Valley. Flames took so much. Signs. Everywhere. The best we can do is recognize one another's pain or fear, and try to bring kindness and connection. Be oh so well!

  • @Morelia98
    @Morelia98 6 років тому +33

    I swear everytime I listen this song, it always gives me chills.
    It's so different from anything I have ever heard, and the lyrics.. The story is terrifying and perfectly portrayed

  • @nebraska124
    @nebraska124 3 роки тому +4

    "And like the cedar waxwing, she was drunk all day" is such a haunting lyric. Perfect.

  • @Joelio138
    @Joelio138 6 років тому +58

    Daddy Suf blessing us once again 🙏🏼👏🏼🙏🏼👏🏼

  • @SiasiaxD
    @SiasiaxD 6 років тому +28

    the part from about 1:50 is so purely beautiful I can't help closing my eyes whenever I hear it

  • @Dovelunalove
    @Dovelunalove 26 днів тому +1

    my mother is trapped in her way.she wrestles with the past as she watches me grow. when i’m with her it’s fine, but when we’re separate I can see clear. as time has passes i realize I can not live like this and she can not live any other way. love from what i see true is to admire. love to her is to be attached. even that means we’re attached, trapped in her cage.

  • @christinatarracino8092
    @christinatarracino8092 2 роки тому +5

    I wish I had the words to describe just how moving and transcendent this song is. Sufjan Stevens is an absolute genius of a composer, and I am so happy to have found his music 💖💖💖💖💖💖

  • @ElaineShute
    @ElaineShute 6 років тому +32

    This is hypnotic. Just gorgeous.

  • @chrismarchand3570
    @chrismarchand3570 6 років тому +318

    Dear Sufjan: you are never allowed to leave us. Signed, your affectionate co-dependent sycophant.

    • @maxlp9926
      @maxlp9926 6 років тому +7

      I think you're parasitic... not co-dependent

    • @elibird9749
      @elibird9749 6 років тому +22

      It's commensalism. Chris will probably never affect Sufjan.

    • @chrismarchand3570
      @chrismarchand3570 6 років тому +5

      How could I ever deplete the everlasting omnipotence of Sufjan?

  • @briana4814
    @briana4814 2 роки тому +3

    I’ve spent many hours on the shore of Wallowa Lake and I love this song. I wonder if many people in Joseph have heard this song.

  • @Alephroom
    @Alephroom 6 років тому +9

    As with basically everything Sufjan has produced, the best words to describe this song still do not convey the absolute majesty that it encompasses. Bravo! I adore this track!

  • @harryghibli6890
    @harryghibli6890 3 роки тому +7

    its been over 3 years since this song was released, and never has song captured me, and resonated with me, as much as this song has. The gorgeous writing, the vocal delivery, and that grand, but still somehow chilling 2nd half that somehow manages to capture the exact sensation and feeling of being underwater, and seeing something you know you shouldn't be seeing... it's just incredible.

  • @turtledove2095
    @turtledove2095 6 років тому +31

    I see sufjan i click and then i listen then i cry then i replay then i cry then i replay then i die

  • @markdavis5964
    @markdavis5964 Рік тому +1

    Alcoholism and dealing with it as a child. The most beautiful sad composition about said subject I can imagine hearing.

  • @kodyjbosch1
    @kodyjbosch1 3 роки тому +5

    Edit : apparently there are two grave sites for Chief Joseph, one in Washington state - one in Oregon. I live near Nespelem.
    I live about 5o miles from Wallowa Lake, Nespelem, and Chief Joseph's Grave. I am really excited to visit myself. I am part native (though I am embarrassed to say it because I look totally white , and every white person says they are part native 🤣) - I don't think my ancestry is Nez Perce. But Chief Joseph has always been my favorite Chief since grade school and kind of a personal inspiration. - bought a spathiphyllum plant a year ago for my Home because of this song and to always remember Chief Joseph and his people, as well as their ongoing struggle. Everything comes together in a Sufjan Stevens song! There is a little bit of everything in everything Else. Nespelem was evacuated this week because of a wildfire encroaching on the community where Chief Joseph ( "Him-mah-too-yah") lived his last days and was buried. And of course ongoing Revelations about Residential schools which is Gut Wrenching. 😔 Love and Peace to all Along The Way, wow what a ride ! I see healing in this world. I am optimistic. Being part of that Process is the place to be. A Happy place to help Carry The Stone. ✌️

  • @DeadHandX
    @DeadHandX 2 роки тому +2

    Its crazy how many people come back to this everyday... this song is masterpiece!!!

  • @Mayyde
    @Mayyde 6 років тому +109

    I cry, but smile, but also cry and smile to Surfman's music like a little bitch.
    Hold me.

    • @dr.laydude
      @dr.laydude 6 років тому +6

      His music is full of pure love, genius, warmth and sorrow at various points. It's beautiful the way it's all elegantly blended together.

    • @Chulpansilu
      @Chulpansilu 3 роки тому +2

      Surfman 😂 I cant

  • @kodyjbosch1
    @kodyjbosch1 3 роки тому +2

    Such a sublime song. I remember listening to it for days when I was living on the coast of Washington a few years back. I kept thinking of my mother and her own struggle with addiction, alcoholism, bipolar disorder, and incarceration for years at a time. But also her immense strength, stoicism, and even being part native. Generational Trauma. My mom got in trouble again recently after having relapsed about 4 years ago. So I've been revisiting this song. And (yet) another friend died of cancer this week. - a lady who was a profoundly good person. Fuck Cancer ! It has been a tough week! Glad this song for companionship and catharsis ! Thank you ☺️

  • @gowikipedia
    @gowikipedia 6 років тому +108

    this is literally just a sonic fusion of age of adz and carrie and lowell lol

  • @evelinamorgan4652
    @evelinamorgan4652 6 років тому +2

    His voice whispering those beautiful words into my ears in the darkness of my bedroom with that music! Holding my tears (sad/joyful) until he says "no oblation will bring her back to our place". God bless you Sufjan!

  • @leislavalon3391
    @leislavalon3391 6 років тому +6

    When the singing starts at 3:52 it reminds me of the angels voices or vibrations/humming we will hear in Heaven. Even the horns/trumpets. Ahhhhh.... ❤❤

  • @davidolartediaz6735
    @davidolartediaz6735 6 років тому +2

    Between God and mortals, there is Sufjan Stevens. Pure magic.

  • @riseungho4177
    @riseungho4177 3 роки тому +8

    i love this song, it's fucking great and plus its so bizarre to hear a song themed around a so little known corner of the world i grew up in. i can almost feel it when he says hes driving out to joseph and it brings back memories of my mother too

  • @gillian7662
    @gillian7662 6 років тому +49

    Like a continuation of Carrie and Lowell with added brass and strings... And the lyrics too, just wow

    • @mvresh1
      @mvresh1 6 років тому +1

      Can never argue about the lyrics when its Sufjan.And yeah,there's still some bits of C & L that are so hauntingly present in this one.This one's like the morning that came after the night that was "Fourth of July " ,musically.

    • @Venharshala
      @Venharshala 6 років тому +2

      this song was actually recorded for C&L but did not make the final version. The new album will contain Outtakes, Remixes & Demos from Carrie & Lowell and two new unreleased songs.

  • @craziijess007
    @craziijess007 6 років тому +19

    I don’t mean to be mean-but songs about Stevens mother just drive me out of my mind how amazing they are. They are mysterious, melancholic, but full of hope at the same time.

  • @dattajack
    @dattajack 5 років тому +11

    I imagine this song is a memory of him and his brother's last time seeing their biological mother. They were brought to the lake town by some guardian figure to have a supervised visit with the mom. But the mom was drugged up or drunk or both and the mother turns into the monster when the visit becomes a train wreck and her leaving them that day is the monster going into the lake. There's enough imagery in the lyrics that make me think this and it's sad. I say this on the first day my girlfriend of a year is right this moment having her first unsupervised visit with her 12 yo daughter at my house while I'm at work. My girlfriend lost custody for a really poor choice to use drugs to escape her problems at the time. Fast forward to today and things are a lot better. But this song hits home of how her daughter might of felt as her and her brother experienced losing their mom to drugs back then.

  • @khansolllo
    @khansolllo 6 років тому +47

    more proof that carrie & lowell could've been his "oregon" album

  • @mv6877
    @mv6877 6 років тому +2

    I came here because of "Call Me By Your Name", and I am addicted to this guys music and soothing voice. This song is unbelievable.

    • @mv6877
      @mv6877 6 років тому +1

      I just heard parts of his "Planetarium" album - wow!

  • @carolinaferreira4346
    @carolinaferreira4346 6 років тому +3

    I'm used to sad songs, really. But Soof has the power of making me cry. It's so beautiful and at the same time so sad! I get destroyed with his music, but I can't stop listening to it

  • @peterenola2265
    @peterenola2265 4 роки тому +3

    This gem an outtake? Insane. This should have def been on the main album...what a beautiful, intense, sad, intimate & personal track!

  • @danielsonsilveira
    @danielsonsilveira 6 років тому +20

    Is this an outtake? Really? Fuck this dude is unreal!

  • @EmmanuelDato
    @EmmanuelDato 6 років тому +12

    Every line is a f**kin masterpiece

  • @RisabellaMiranda
    @RisabellaMiranda 6 років тому +3

    Meditated to this song. Saw a dark lake on an illuminated night sky and white aurora and a girl with white night gown being amazed ♥️

  • @susiechen4082
    @susiechen4082 6 років тому +18

    sufjan stevens you're killing me

  • @coles7811
    @coles7811 6 років тому +1

    I've been listening to Sufjan for 10 years, it never gets old.. always leaves me speechless, calm, and let's me forget about my troubles for some moments. This is so so so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your mind with us.

  • @gan5920
    @gan5920 6 років тому +1

    hearing sufjan sing about places in Oregon always imbues his music with a nostalgic feel for me. very special, thank you sufjan.

  • @ayahoffman9847
    @ayahoffman9847 5 років тому +5

    This song gives me the chills in a good way. It's a freaking masterpiece

  • @surfbear30
    @surfbear30 5 років тому +3

    A very relatable song, which to me is a story of realizing as a child that your parents may have a side that is like a monster, the shift in perception can be sad and difficult

  • @Alec_____
    @Alec_____ 3 роки тому +9

    It's official: only people with terrible childhoods produce any art that's worthwhile

  • @pablohoney9777
    @pablohoney9777 2 роки тому +5

    *my mother is not dead but I will refer to her in the past tense as I have no contact with her at present
    My mother was abusive and often neglected me and my brother as she would stay up late drinking wine and smoking cigarettes in the kitchen. Christmases with her began at 1pm and ensued shouting and screaming. From early ages me and my brother learned not to trigger her anger, but she would invariably find something to fault us for anyway. She would stay in bed drunk or hungover most of the day, and often ignored us and our needs entirely. Sometimes she would hit us, but that was when she got bad.
    At other times she could be glorious. These days would happen once in a blue moon but she would take us for a picnic and be the mother of our dreams. Going for late spring walks and reading books in the shade. Listening to the bees buzz and the birds call and the leaves sway in the breeze. The sound of her music on the CD player drifting out from the kitchen. Jugs of fruit juice with ice and the the sound of laughter. These days were beautiful and occurred in a haze, and they fed me on the darkest nights.
    When I had to call the police on my mother and move away, I felt free. I had escaped her. But I had left my big brother behind. I cannot remember the last words I said to him, but he passed away in the midwinter, and I could never see him again. It was like losing a twin, and it was unbearable.
    My mother blamed me for his death, and told me that the sadness I caused him when I left was the sadness that caused the end of his life. Sometimes I listen to this accusation and blame myself. But I know his drug addiction had begun long, long, before I made it out of that house.
    Sometimes I blame my mother and her abuse for his death. But I know that I can never hate her, however much I want to. Because she showed me some kindness when I was dying alone in a desert she made. She gave me water only on the brink of death but that water was enough. She was my mother. She is my mother. Whether I like it or not. I’m not sure how to break this wall of silence with her. I don’t know whether I even want to, because I know she will hurt me again.
    The people around me can’t understand why I still love her so much, but I miss her hugs and the scent of her perfume, her shampoo and the softness of her clothes. I miss those rare sunny days with the three of us and the tranquil world around us. I miss my home, the environment I grew up in and the maternal affection my mother deigned show me in my moments of bitter desperation.
    I miss my mother. I miss my brother. I miss the abuse sometimes aswell. She was full of faults and flaws and she shouldn’t have raised us in the first place. I feel my brother raised me more than she did, but she’s my mother. And I just want her hugs again.
    This song captures many of my feelings for her perfectly and inexplicably. It’s strange, how a melody can make more sense of my whirling feelings than my mind.

    • @lucydoran2470
      @lucydoran2470 Рік тому +1

      thank you for your beautiful writing. I lived a childhood with similarities to yours. by age nine we had to leave. I have no contact with her now, but I can't hold her in bitterness. she was hurting and could do no better. I hear you when you talk of the glimpses of how sweet life could be. calm in the almost perpetual storm. for us it was visits to ancient beech woods, chaos gave way to peace and laughter. I wish it could have been different, I yearned very much to be close to her, but her mental state made her unreachable.
      I'm sorry for the hurt, and i'm sorry you lost your brother, it's not your fault. from the way you write I believe you are a wise and caring person and always will be, I wish you much goodness in your life

  • @saraentrecerros
    @saraentrecerros 6 років тому +350

    How is Sufjan actually allowed to do this???

    • @jonathonfizdiz
      @jonathonfizdiz 6 років тому +12

      Sputnik An im not sure he is

    • @gumbiman3350
      @gumbiman3350 6 років тому +3

      Do you guys not realise that all of Carrie and Lowell is already on this channel? This is fine to do.

    • @saraentrecerros
      @saraentrecerros 6 років тому +34

      Daniel Crowley It's a joke. it's like "omg this is so great! how is he allowed to do genius music all the time".... although, honestly considering this an outtake? almost a crime!

    • @dianacapibara
      @dianacapibara 6 років тому +6

      Hahaha qué oso con la gente que no entiende los chistes

    • @adamsingsthings
      @adamsingsthings 6 років тому +1

      HAHAHAHAHA RIGHT

  • @michellesylvan1156
    @michellesylvan1156 6 років тому +137

    I'm not crying, you are.

  • @franciscocalix3913
    @franciscocalix3913 6 років тому +1

    I don't know how he managed to make me cry with all his songs.

  • @sams8674
    @sams8674 6 років тому +12

    That verse melody is quite something...

  • @moodyangel
    @moodyangel 6 років тому +29

    Tears are running down my cheeks.

  • @kiwaawaa
    @kiwaawaa 4 роки тому +1

    That last line and the transition into that soundscape perfectly reflects how I felt when my mother took her last breath. That sound. That's what that moment feels like.

  • @megathria
    @megathria 6 років тому +7

    I grew up in Wallowa county. This song makes me feel homesick.

  • @lauraberkholtz7959
    @lauraberkholtz7959 4 роки тому +2

    This song feels like an out of body experience. So gorgeous. But I can't listen to this or Carrie and Lowell very often without going to places I'd rather stay away from.

  • @urinarytractinspection4747
    @urinarytractinspection4747 6 років тому +12

    Sufjan, and Porches put out new music in the same day?I can't handle this.

  • @maharaniu4313
    @maharaniu4313 6 років тому

    I feel like the more Sufjan gets old, the more he makes me cry with his music genius. Sufjan is like that husband who really loves his wife as time goes by both of them.
    I've been following him since 2008 and I'm still in love with him until now. And I'm afraid if tomorrow I'll not see your face again.

  • @carlotapereira7439
    @carlotapereira7439 2 роки тому +2

    how can this music even exist

  • @jonathonfizdiz
    @jonathonfizdiz 6 років тому +4

    Stunned by the beauty of this song

  • @dylanhowlett712
    @dylanhowlett712 6 років тому +1

    Why is this the best song I have heard in such a long time? Love all you do Sufjan! I love how much you sing about my home state

  • @laptaincevi9790
    @laptaincevi9790 4 роки тому +1

    this song feels like you're a solider returning from war. your country has finally won after 5 years of battle. you return home to find chatter and joy in the streets which a change from the cold sad war. people are thanking you as you go, husbands meeting their wives, sons meeting their parents.

  • @Matt-lz1cq
    @Matt-lz1cq 11 місяців тому

    I can not listen to this man’s music without always wanting to cry😢. So powerful! The production is excellent!

  • @zurk606
    @zurk606 6 років тому +3

    I got goosebumps. Definitely, a work of art! Kudos, Stevens!

  • @kfctwigs136
    @kfctwigs136 6 років тому +13

    Carrie & Lowell part 2. I'm here for it, daddy!

  • @cassidymav
    @cassidymav 6 років тому

    This is probably my favorite song, I cannot possibly describe how fond I've been of his music since I was twelve,

  • @andyblue415
    @andyblue415 6 років тому +1

    Gorgeous song. A complete work of art. Can't stop listening.

  • @tonematrix
    @tonematrix 6 років тому +5

    what a beautiful slow drift of an ending

  • @kdare1250
    @kdare1250 6 років тому +1

    Wallowa Lake is a beautiful place and this is a beautiful song

  • @eriklatshaw
    @eriklatshaw 3 роки тому +1

    Just today I finished William Vollmann's 1215 pages covering the Nez Perce Wars & the loss of their ancestral homeland around Wallowa Lake so this is hitting especially hard. When it comes to tears "from this day forward I will fight no more forever".

  • @bennymwelch
    @bennymwelch 4 роки тому +1

    I live in La Grande, Oregon which is not too far from Joseph and Wallowa Lake. The Wallowa Lake monster is a pretty commonly known urban legend. My cross country team used to go up to Wallowa Lake every summer for cross country camp. There's a place to go go karting and play mini golf, as well as plenty hiking trails. Super fun times those were. Great area. The lake is freezing cold though.

  • @nolaskoabreu9228
    @nolaskoabreu9228 4 роки тому +2

    It's like he induces the Doppler effect in his music to make it sound 3D. And brilliant!

  • @3rdaxis609
    @3rdaxis609 2 роки тому +6

    never herd anything like it. i cried.

  • @Dovelunalove
    @Dovelunalove 8 місяців тому

    25 but he heals my inner child. the baby who wanted her mothers love despite the consistent rejection. It’s confusing being a child and trying to figure out how to gain your mothers love. The hugs she denies the grimace she shoots, the shame she covers you with, and despite it all the baby loves her as is she was a god.

  • @caiserrot
    @caiserrot 6 років тому +6

    Amazing Sufjan.

  • @gabridelux453
    @gabridelux453 6 років тому +4

    Beautiful song Sufjan, thank you, thank you again

  • @Cobren1
    @Cobren1 6 років тому

    This brilliant song proves that Sufjan Stevens is an absolute genius.

  • @moviefreaksid2915
    @moviefreaksid2915 6 років тому +156

    I'm still waiting for MYSTERY OF LOVE

    • @jaimelopez6921
      @jaimelopez6921 6 років тому +37

      I already have my tears ready for when that song drops..

    • @jeaa8173
      @jeaa8173 6 років тому +28

      VISIONS OF GIDEON has been haunting me since watching CMBYN last night. I need it. Like now!

    • @schmeldwicksmith5379
      @schmeldwicksmith5379 6 років тому +2

      seriously can't wait for this ost to drop. such a beautiful movie, and sufjan's songs just made it even better. xo

    • @indiragoutam7401
      @indiragoutam7401 6 років тому

      Of course you must have found it by now but just in case : ua-cam.com/video/LJytBqnWtEI/v-deo.html

  • @RickstarRB
    @RickstarRB 6 років тому +1

    The 3-minute outro is bringing me to fucking tears. Greatest artist alive, without a doubt.

  • @syd_luna
    @syd_luna 6 років тому +1

    Beautiful with melancholy. What a song!!

  • @keithmmon4047
    @keithmmon4047 6 років тому +25

    OMG,,I HEARD THIS ON COLLEGE RADIO ,,AND KNOW ONE KNEW WHAT IT WAS CALLED ,,SO I COPIED THE PARTIAL LYRICS OF"SHE STAYED WITHIN THE DEEP END OF WALLOWA LAKE:: OMG I FINALLY FOUND THIS
    !!,,SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS.

  • @ninjabakuraHD
    @ninjabakuraHD 6 років тому

    this is where sufjan is at his best ... stripped back, folk-y, vulnerable. love it.

    • @ChocolateRain68
      @ChocolateRain68 6 років тому

      poma Nah this isn't really stripped back at all, not a bad thing though

  • @alexbielovich
    @alexbielovich 6 років тому +54

    Thanks for the birthday present!

  • @wishiwassleeping2829
    @wishiwassleeping2829 6 років тому +2

    Sufjan is my go to Sunday morning music

  • @limorm6136
    @limorm6136 6 років тому +4

    This song is so mesmerizing