Have you heard of Disablism?

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  • Опубліковано 20 сер 2024
  • #ableism #disablism #disability #disabilitypride #bekind #chronicallyill
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 186

  • @swearimnotarobot3746
    @swearimnotarobot3746 Рік тому +917

    So ableism is essentially ignorance whereas disablism is actively being a bigot.

  • @Stonebrick
    @Stonebrick Рік тому +675

    For me, abelism is there not being a good way for me to catch up schoolwork I miss due to chronic illness.
    Disabelism is teachers refusing to give me the notes of the class cause they’re annoyed I am sick regularly- “well you should have been there”

    • @rainbowfoxmagicgrrrl
      @rainbowfoxmagicgrrrl Рік тому +27

      Thanks for the example, that's helpful

    • @hmckinnon1974
      @hmckinnon1974 Рік тому +18

      Sounds about right. 'Why weren't you in my room with a running tape recorder?' Bet me if I wouldn't turn it on them.

    • @wakingup6382
      @wakingup6382 Рік тому +2

      Sounds like a narcissist, they always make everything about themselves and nothing about you. So one sided, so perpetual.
      Edit: Oh sweat I responded to the wrong comment, lol. Well anyway while I’m here again I’ll say you sound like your in a position where you have to deal with an apathetic patronizing biased teacher who prefers to victim blame you rather than help you. I’m pretty sure you have more stories on that teacher you were talking about.

    • @dot7084
      @dot7084 Рік тому

      There's always a way to get school work. Stop being lazy and ask someone to go up to the school for you

    • @logan9021
      @logan9021 Рік тому +45

      @@dot7084 there's always a way to be a decent person, stop being a bigot because you don't know what other peoples lives are like, you have no right to call someone lazy based on a single comment made by a stranger on the internet about 1 part of their own life

  • @cassandraqueensen4412
    @cassandraqueensen4412 Рік тому +25

    Last week I almost got arrested for not being able to carry a stroller and two dogs. I use a dog stroller for mobility with out drawing much attention. This bus driver didn't want me on the bus because " it's a safety issue to have dogs in a stroller" but it wasn't against the rules as long as the wheels lock and it can be strapped down. The bus driver said if he let me on then he would lose his job and then he would be disabled because he wouldn't have money- his words not mine
    Cops showed us and tried to tell me that private property like a city bus doesn't have to follow federal law. It took nearly an hour to verify I was infact right.

  • @alismustgettoknow6632
    @alismustgettoknow6632 Рік тому +61

    Yes! The most recent thing like that for me was this: I was going to enter a building, which was chosen to be the place to hold the biggest contest for disabled people in my country (RF, I'm talking about Abilimpics). There was only ONE place where wheelchair users could enter. And it was a metal thingy that they placed there only for 3 days of the contest.
    The best place chosen to hold such a competition didn't even have a permanent solution for this. I was totally shocked, that's not even funny anymore

  • @CaelTheWaxAngel
    @CaelTheWaxAngel Рік тому +50

    I’m Deaf and I was sent to a mainstream school up until I left out of sheer desperation. I was bullied ruthlessly growing up. I got my sketchbook taken and torn up, called the r slur, and I was told that I wasn’t worth anything because of my hearing.

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 Рік тому +5

    • @pancakesnake
      @pancakesnake Рік тому +2

      im sorry :( i know how that feels, but your amazing don't let others tell you differently

    • @forestenrory
      @forestenrory Рік тому +5

      God, i'm so sorry.
      I have autism & adhd, and when i was little (before i knew i had it but was just thought of as annoying), i was told to kms, people refused to touch me for years, called me a name which is a trigger for me now, stole and broke my stuff and chucked it in the bin, etc.
      I've been told by teachers that i use my autism as an excuse.
      You're not alone. You didn't deserve that. Sending lots of love xx

  • @IrelandFyre
    @IrelandFyre Рік тому +181

    I had an issue where I went to a theme park and was automatically given a pass to skip the lines due to needing a cane to walk and bring unable to stand for long periods of time and, despite very obviously being physically disabled, people were getting super pissed off, shooting me dirty looks, and people I was with became uncomfortable being seen with me so if I wanted to ride a ride I had to go alone.. I won't be going to a theme park again

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 Рік тому +37

      I’m so sorry that happened to you.
      -My Mom used a wheelchair and we would just glare right back at the people that were being rude!

    • @KatieM786
      @KatieM786 Рік тому +37

      If you were my friend I would've told the gawpers to "take a photo, it lasts longer" and not let it affect our fun day out. Sounds like you need some new friends. I'm sorry all that happened to you 💖

    • @mammoneymelon
      @mammoneymelon Рік тому +2

      wow, if the people i'm with are ever embarrassed to be seen with me i think i might hit them with my cane. that's so fucked

    • @ChibiYotsuba
      @ChibiYotsuba Рік тому +26

      If you lived anywhere near me (The Netherlands) I'd go to a theme park with you. I need the side entrance as well. We'll ignore all the haters and have so much fun!

    • @IrelandFyre
      @IrelandFyre Рік тому +23

      You guys sound so awesome 😃 I wish we could all go hang out at a theme park together! Thank you for your kindness, I feel so much more accepted and acceptable from this comment thread than my friends or family have made me feel in years ☺️

  • @waffles3629
    @waffles3629 Рік тому +34

    Ugh, I had someone tell me on another UA-cam video (not one of yours) that refusing to add a ramp to your business is not discrimination "because it's not like they hung a sign on the door saying "No cripples ", you're not being prevented from entering". Uh, if a person is in a wheelchair and there's only stairs, then yes, they are being prevented from entering.

    • @deecody5427
      @deecody5427 Рік тому +8

      Wow. If this business is in the US and they're not wanting to add a ramp I'm pretty sure they're violating ADA guidelines

  • @ungabunga9458
    @ungabunga9458 Рік тому +129

    My mil is abilest, I have a disorder called POTS paired with PNES.
    She constantly insinuates that I'm not a good mom, because "I'm endangering her grandson." . She constantly brings up how big of a burden I am to her son because I'm on disabled benefits but don't have
    " a real job. ". She says that I shouldn't hold my child for long periods of time because she's worried ill drop him and " make him like me".
    Luckily my husband stands up for me and is encouraging to me to help defend myself. But every other day with this lady makes me want to tear my hair out. Don't even get me started on her racism towards me over being Jewish and Israeli.
    Once she compared me to my husband's ex, a girl who used to physically abuse her son - and when she found out I was pregnant, she insinuated that the baby might not be my husbands.. she insinuated that I was forcing her son into keeping the baby, and that I wouldn't be a good mother because of the trauma I had due to foster care.
    The list goes on.
    Anyways, as a disabled person I've received many kind reactions/opinions etc. But I've also received ableism, racism, homophobia, and even people turning my disability into a kink.
    The world's a messed up place sometimes, but I'm glad we have people like you in it. I wish nothing but the best for you and your partner, and I love watching your videos.

    • @brinagotsued
      @brinagotsued Рік тому +28

      I hope you can get that horrible woman out of your life. She isn't just harmful to you, she's also directly harming your child/children.

    • @C-SD
      @C-SD Рік тому +25

      Just, wow. I stopped seeing my mother in law, at all, over things like this. I won't speak to her if she's standing next to me. She put my child in danger once, and that was the last time she saw my kid for a very long time.
      Treating you like that is absolutely unacceptable. Its nice your husband calls her on it, but if he was really sticking up for you he'd cut her off before she said that crap. Its abusive, and abusive towards your children as well. She'll manipulate and treat them the same way she treats you, I can guarantee that. Well, she may be more subtle with them. Bullies are used to getting away with stuff, and if it works (which it has, obviously) they keep bullying people. And will bully anyone -just like a 2 year old throwing a temper tantrum.
      As far as not having a "real job", does she? I have an inkling she probably doesn't. You have an income, and it allows you to also spend more time with your children. How is that bad? Bet she would also b*t*h if you were working and not spending "enough" time by being home like women are supposed to be.
      Also, commonly in this situation, its because they're angry that their child is no longer easy to control, and someone else has priority over her.
      You don't *have* to spend time with her, and you don't have to ever talk to her. When she grows up and acts like an adult, well maybe if she apologizes, that's different. You don't have to take her abuse, you don't have to coddle her. Let your partner deal with her.
      I say all this because I needed to hear it at the time and it was very validating and allowed me to consider whether I wanted to keep contact with her or not. Throw the whole thing out if its not helpful. ❤
      Ugh, explaining pnes to people is a nightmare. "Its all in your head" makes me want to throw things. All seizures are in your head, Bob. I haven't experienced a ton of overt anti semetism, though have had my life threatened, but the subtle crap that people ignore gets to me sometimes. I might be more sensitive to it than others, my grandmother was a German Jew refugee during ww2.
      ❤ For you.
      I'm sorry this is happening.

    • @ungabunga9458
      @ungabunga9458 Рік тому +24

      @@C-SD my husband does cut her off when he's home, but my mil likes to come and attack me when no one else is around. So far she hasn't done anything bad to our son but always has to say I'm doing something wrong with him.
      Example: I change him after I feed him, she thought I should change him before. I tried to tell her that he's just gonna go anyways but she didn't believe me until she saw it herself after she asked me to prove it.
      She does have a job, in retail. But was a SAHM to three kids for a really long time. The only reason why we haven't gone completely NC is because she manages the property we're living in and makes excuses to come in whenever she wants to " check if we're keeping up the place. " we're currently looking for somewhere else but until then we just kinda have to deal with her.
      She loves nitpicking everything I do, like if I leave dishes overnight or of the cutlery isn't in order by size etc. Every time she's over and sees her son doing something to help with the baby, she says " how dare you make him do that kinda stuff when he works all day."
      About a week ago was the first time she's seen me have a fainting/seizure episode, and after that she suddenly got interested in learning what to do if it happens again. I've been with her son for years and have had many episodes, she didn't give a crap to know what to do until it happened to her. And even though I put the baby in a safe place before it happened, she suddenly started texting me every day to " check up on me" and insisted we go over safety plans for the baby.
      She tried to say that conversation was " just between is girls." Because my husband saw how uncomfortable I was and was trying to defend me. Mil asked him to go away because she didn't like how " aggressively protective " He gets over me. Husband took me out of the room after that and told her to fuck off/leave.
      Just the other day I hadn't done the dishes because I was feeling nauseous, and she commented on how I hadn't done them - so I did what I instinctively do - apologize and give an excuse. I told her I felt sick, and you know what she said?
      ' you better not be pregnant again. '
      This was after she, badgered me every day after giving birth about getting birth control. And having to let her feel the nexplanon in my arm to prove i had actually gotten it. But she still had the fucking nerve to say that shit.
      Normally I'm good at keeping my calm, but I literally have breakdowns/ get frustrated with her multiple times a week. Because she does shit like this EVERY day.
      Sorry lol I needed to vent, I'm glad someone else understands about the PNES thing. It's extremely hard to explain to people. Thank you for being kind

    • @jaehaywardkent
      @jaehaywardkent Рік тому +9

      @@ungabunga9458 gosh what an awful thing to have to put up with. that’s so damaging and i really hope you’re able to move away from her and out of her life soon! you seem like a great mum who loves her children very much and you all deserve to be happy in peace together. best of luck! xx

    • @rochellethundercloud346
      @rochellethundercloud346 Рік тому +7

      With a mil like yours,it's well past time to go no contact

  • @Youtubeuserhek
    @Youtubeuserhek Рік тому +36

    Thank you for bringing awareness to this. I am physically disabled and currently being harassed by neighbors.

  • @XSemperIdem5
    @XSemperIdem5 Рік тому +16

    Ah thank you for giving me a word to describe the way that way too many L.A. Metro bus drivers treat people with disabilities. It's almost like they hate us or derive pleasure from making everything more difficult for us, such as repeatedly refusing to lower the ramp and even pretending it doesn't work, plus quickly changing lanes and speeding up to avoid stopping for us.

    • @WarriorKalia
      @WarriorKalia Рік тому +6

      Jesus, where the hell are you in LA? I don't know if that's been a recent thing or not, but if you let me know the routes and/or drivers I could help put in complaints? I haven't been on a bus where that's happened for a very long time, but I can only imagine the frustration and pain it causes you and other people who need mobility accommodations.

  • @atadbitahistory9660
    @atadbitahistory9660 Рік тому +18

    Basically, ableism is being inconsiderate/ignorant towards the needs of disabled people.
    Disabilsm is actively being a prick because of somebody's disability.

  • @sadist8902
    @sadist8902 Рік тому +12

    Especially when your disabilities aren’t visible and you’re quite young. The amount of old ladies that have yelled at me, giving me nasty looks and whatnot is insane. When I actually tell them that I’m disabled even they go “That’s impossible, you’re just lazy. I’m xyz age and I don’t even take disability spots, you should be ashamed of yourself.”

    • @Panda72021
      @Panda72021 Рік тому +1

      YES. Or having to fight to get medications that even remotely help symptoms; because "younger demographics are at a greater risk for addiction".
      We know the risks, but we also shouldn't have to suffer just because some young jackass just wanted to get high.
      It's hard not being able to work/go to school and watch either two things happen. You have people much younger than you working, getting higher education...blowing through what's usually considered "adult milestones", or you have the people who are healthy who don't work/go to school, simply because they like not having any responsibilities. People who are sick/disabled usually get grouped together with the lazy bums.

  • @ivechang6720
    @ivechang6720 Рік тому +11

    I love your posts so much. I just had a great medical care management meeting. The exhaustion afterwards though is depressing. You help keep me focusing on what I can do, even if sometimes that means taking care of myself and taking a real nap. Thanks Jessica! 😌

    • @WarriorKalia
      @WarriorKalia Рік тому +4

      I'm glad your meeting went well! Remember to take breaks and try stuff to help you unwind a bit- I've been getting into brown noise lately, but just allowing yourself to exist can also be good if you can carve out time for it.
      I hope things go well for you!

  • @BILLY-KITTY_X3
    @BILLY-KITTY_X3 Рік тому +12

    I told someone I have adhd. They said "Oh, you don't look like you have adhd." What I said: oh umm adhd isn't a way you look
    What I wanted to say: Since when was that a style!?!?!! 😅

  • @Alesha_Lewer
    @Alesha_Lewer Рік тому +10

    And not every disability is visible ❤️

  • @Lillith.
    @Lillith. Рік тому +19

    Like people fearing to tell their employer that they are autistic because some will fire you over it. It's illegal, but an issue you will have to deal with nonetheless.

    • @Goodwomanbadlady
      @Goodwomanbadlady Рік тому +2

      I have a friend dealing with this rn. She wants to go back to a prior employer whom she left with good reputation but they know her diagnosis so they are pushing her to a lower position.

    • @cloudyskyz2237
      @cloudyskyz2237 Рік тому +2

      I know this was 8 months ago but I was actually also fired because I’m autistic. Meaning I work slower and in a very specific way and if I change that I get frustrated. therefore my manager straight up fired me.
      And frankly, I might be getting fired again from a different job. I also have POTS and it has gotten a lot worse recently. If I move too fast I get incredibly dizzy to the point I can go into presyncopy. There was one day I was feeling particularly bad, and I was going very slowly. I explained to my store director what was happening, and she said she understood. The next day my manager came up to me and said I needed to stop being lazy and actually get my job done. Then she did a little imitation of me wobbling from dizziness and told me to stop pretending or this isn’t gonna work out.
      I fucking hate this job.

    • @Lillith.
      @Lillith. Рік тому +3

      @@cloudyskyz2237 Get what the manager said in writing. You informed the store director, so your workplace was informed and what the manager did was out of line. Go to the store director and inform them of a hostile work environment.

  • @lynndragon2536
    @lynndragon2536 Рік тому +28

    My disability has only more recently been recognized as a disability so I’m still trying to figure it out myself migraines and therefore light sensitivity can be an invisible but still really hard to work around disability

    • @ivechang6720
      @ivechang6720 Рік тому +6

      I wanted to support and validate your struggle. I find the fatigue aspect difficult as it is often treated as depression not an underlying cause of depression. Thus I am expected to _actively_ work on it. It's very counter intuitive to that misinterpretation because activity makes it worse. I want to validate that being too tired is a valid symptom. Be your Best You! 🥰

    • @XSemperIdem5
      @XSemperIdem5 Рік тому +5

      I've found it extra difficult when it's an invisible disability. In my case I was left disabled with chronic joint pain, stiffness, and weakness, which all cause mobility difficulties. It happened quite literally overnight and was caused by the COVID vaccine so getting people to even take it seriously. I don't use any mobility aids, just walk very slow with short steps, so people just think I'm annoyingly slow 😐

    • @lunacanyonrose8436
      @lunacanyonrose8436 Рік тому +2

      As someone with chronic daily migraines that I’ve only recently found a way to better cope with after years of suffering every single day, yeah, migraines can be little shits. I literally have to wear prescription sunglasses indoors and almost all the time because of the light sensitivity and I get questions all the time about it.

    • @Sophieee-xp5fl
      @Sophieee-xp5fl Рік тому

      ​@@XSemperIdem5 Hey, I have CFS and get a decent amount of muscle aches and stuff. Try getting regular B12 injections, prescribed by your doctor, get blood tests first. And Schuessler Tissue Salts nerve tonic Combination 5 gave instant relief (I can't actually get it anymore but you may be able to). Magnesium can help but I find it only works on like sore muscles. And if it's really bad try doing a body scan to relax and it can help too. If you have any questions or stuff to share that would be cool :)

    • @Panda72021
      @Panda72021 Рік тому +1

      Invisible issues are definitely hard.
      In my personal experience with invisible chronic illness, it's been exhausting having to advocate for myself, be accused of faking it and dealing with people who will never believe that it's as bad as it is.
      People tend to treat you like if you just "tried really hard" or "sucked it up" you could somehow manage to not be sick/disabled, or be able to manage doing the whatever.
      It's also hard if you've been sick/disabled since a young age, because too many people think that being young automatically means you're healthy.

  • @nelliemellietellie4915
    @nelliemellietellie4915 Рік тому +33

    Huh I always assumed that both fit into ableism. This actually makes a lot more sense.

  • @togas_nightcores
    @togas_nightcores Рік тому +23

    I hate people with this viewpoint. Disabled people are very much equally worthy human beings and so many of them are even nicer then abled people. I have a disabled parent and many of my family have different disabilities and they are all nice people! I wish we could create a society and surrounding where everyone could be seen as equals and have unburdened access to everything

    • @pancakesnake
      @pancakesnake Рік тому +2

      thank you, you are a blessing to this world. it would be a much better place if more people like you spoke up. thanks for being a legend

  • @JamesKing-lw1xp
    @JamesKing-lw1xp Рік тому

    Yes!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

  • @jellybebe2753
    @jellybebe2753 Рік тому +11

    I would argue that 'ableism' (like 'racism') is still the best umbrella term. It's often impossible to tell the difference between simple ignorance and deliberate ill intent. The effect is all that matters to the person on the receiving end. A current example is covid and masking.

    • @ivechang6720
      @ivechang6720 Рік тому +4

      I think I see your point. Yet doesn't that only deal with the surface and physical issues though?
      It does not address how people discriminate against invisible disabilities. Such as POTS, sleeping disorders and migraines. Let alone how people expect everyone to _act_ on depression, even when the underlying causes of their depression is made worse with activity. Thanks for sharing your viewpoint.

    • @jellybebe2753
      @jellybebe2753 Рік тому +1

      @@ivechang6720 sorry, I haven't referenced visible/invisible disabilities. It doesn't make any difference tho

    • @ivechang6720
      @ivechang6720 Рік тому

      @@jellybebe2753 Maybe it doesn't. I just rather deal with problems from multiple angles. Immediate needs and the source(s) of the problems. Since people acting against (source A), not merely ignorant (source B), will look for barriers and constantly put them in places to disrupt other's lives. I think those need to be actively countered not just worked around. Whereas ignorance is something that is subject to experience, once the experience is gained it's not a reoccurring problem. Not at all the same see?

    • @jellybebe2753
      @jellybebe2753 Рік тому +4

      @@ivechang6720 yes, I agree. I am just saying that we will not necessarily be able to tell which is which.
      To able-bodied people and anyone not educated in academic nuances and disabled discourses, etc, I believe the well-known umbrella term 'ableism' is still the most useful in general. Specific terminology is useful in identifying and working on specific problems, but it can hinder broad social progress if we get too caught up in people using the "right" words. I hope this makes sense :)

    • @ChibiYotsuba
      @ChibiYotsuba Рік тому +5

      I fully agree with you. I was thinking about the word racism as well. We have systemic racism, racism out of ignorance, deliberate racism, institutionalised racism, etc. But it's all racism, because of the impact. It just all requires different ways of handling it.
      I don't see how that would be different for ableism. We have systemic ableism, ableism out of ignorance, deliberate ableism, institutionalised ableism, etc. It looks different from racism, and can go together as well, but the underlying works of dicrimination in general are the same. I don't see why we suddenly need to have a different word for deliberate ableism. Not only would that spark heavy debate each time over intent (which isn't the most important part), but also would it diminish the impact of everything with no or little intent. Rather we should address it all equally, and only have our tactics on how to address it change on a case-by-case situation, just like with racism.

  • @ambsokay4029
    @ambsokay4029 Рік тому

    I've been trying to accept that I am disabled and will stay that way. I've had fibromyalgia since I was a small child, but only diagnosed when I was 22. now my arms and legs randomly stopped working... I'm on so many medications that I'm constantly tired, I'm only 23...

  • @zabmcauley5647
    @zabmcauley5647 Рік тому +6

    Does disablism need to have intent? I have MCS I'm harmed in many settings, including accessing medical care. People and organizations continue to ignore scent free policies and continue to use scented products, soaps, perfume, air fresheners etc. Side effects of exposure can be rashes,migraines, severe cognitive impairment, closed airways etc. Physical harm is done but out of ignorance.
    Too many times I have sought medical care for a different issue, was exposured by staff or provides products(ex:hand sanitizer, ultra sound gel with added perfume) and came out of the visit worse off and without dealing with the reason I was there. Imagine reaching climbing a hill to access service, reaching out a hand for help and instead you are kicked back down the hill.

    • @waffles3629
      @waffles3629 Рік тому +2

      Ugh, scents are the WORST. My neurologists office has a good scent free policy, but it only applies to staff and cleaning products, not other patients. Once I had to ask to change rooms because the perfume from a previous patient was still so strong in the room I was gagging. Like how much were they wearing? The whole bottle?

  • @ohdawns7735
    @ohdawns7735 Рік тому

    i experienced it on accident, one time I didn't hear what a teacher said and repeatedly said 'what?" as a kid, he excluded me from the class as he assumed i just couldn't understand what was going on and pointed at the side bench for me to sit on and wait and hand signaled everything badly. they got me into a meeting and had to explain that I was not deaf after all. (while I was actively joining in the conversation and responding)
    it was just too noisy and I struggled to pay attention to him and his thick accent.
    I can only imagine how it would have been if I was actually deaf and had it constantly.

  • @SwordTune
    @SwordTune Рік тому

    The apartments at my college did not have an elevator, which I was not aware of until I invited a wheelchair friend, and I was awkwardly trying to look for the elevator.

  • @Ceejayhaseyes
    @Ceejayhaseyes Рік тому +1

    The "buy super thanks" icon is covering the subtitles in so many of your videos dear.

  • @Blitz-.-
    @Blitz-.- Рік тому

    I've always used the word ableism for both concepts, so it's cool that there's a word for distinction.

  • @ceatonbusch
    @ceatonbusch Рік тому +2

    I have two special needs children. Our youngest is visibly disabled and people take it way more seriously. My daughter has what they call "an invisible disability" and people really try to act like her issues are less serious than my son's. While my son cannot walk or talk, he is healthy otherwise. He suffers from seizures, but we've been able to reduce them to almost nothing with medications. My daughter on the other hand, is missing her large intestines and live with an ileostomy. She's had 5 major surgeries on top of countless other smaller procedures and so many hospital stays. We lived in the hospital for the first 4 years of her life. The last time she needed a hospital stay, people were like "I think you're taking this too seriously. Just get her a Gatorade. She'll be fine". She could literally lose her life because of her disease. And it could happen so incredibly quickly if I didn't know what I was doing. Yes, she's pretty damn healthy, but only because I work my ass off to make sure she is. I have known a lot of babies with the same disease to be a lot sicker because both parents have to work. And my daughter can go from being perfectly fine, so sick AF and I'm the verge of slipping away, within a couple hours.
    My point is that, please do not tell people they are over reacting about something you haven't experienced. Please don't tell parents their kids will be fine when you know nothing about their disease/syndrome. Sometimes we just want to vent about the hardships or seek support, and telling us that we're being too much over our child's sickness, is just going to ensure that you'll never be apart of that child's life.

  • @dianalorani1910
    @dianalorani1910 Рік тому

    I'm dealing with ablism with my doctor and it's destroying me slowly 🐌

  • @gariden
    @gariden Рік тому

    i’ve been going over the fact that i have adhd is a disability of a kind with my psychologist recently. i find it very difficult to accept that i shouldn’t be holding myself to the standard of those without adhd, even though i know logically that i can’t meet that goal. and i would be understanding of any other person. it’s just such an inherently frustrating disorder because you constantly feel like you’re failing.

  • @jennifers5560
    @jennifers5560 Рік тому +43

    “To be disabled is to be discriminated against.”
    …I’m not sure if this statement makes me mad or sad. Both maybe.

    • @waffles3629
      @waffles3629 Рік тому +1

      Both, at least it's both for me.

    • @dot7084
      @dot7084 Рік тому

      So what's the point?

    • @dot7084
      @dot7084 Рік тому +2

      So are all your attempts to normalize disabled people in vain because of the quote above? You can't assume just cause your disabled you'll be discriminated against. There are more people who accept it as normal than don't. This is giving me the boy who cried racism vibes.

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 Рік тому +8

      @@dot7084 are you disabled?

    • @when-do-we-get-a-block-button
      @when-do-we-get-a-block-button Рік тому

      ​@@dot7084 loser

  • @Videos4Diamond
    @Videos4Diamond Рік тому

    I am soooo walking this path. Ahhhhhhhhh

  • @Tumblekitten
    @Tumblekitten Рік тому

    Today in my pe class I was finding the bright colours of the field distressing so my friend gave me his jacket and I sat on the side with it over my head. A girl on the other team who I knew from class came up to me, told me I had to play and tried to rip it off my head, I freaked out and held on to it and tried to explain that I couldn’t, she then left and her friends discussed what was wrong with me in earshot. I then had more people make fun of me within earshot from a different team. Sometimes teenagers suck

  • @picachugirl2036
    @picachugirl2036 Рік тому

    Thanks for sharing, I honestly thought ablism was the same thing. Im disabled so, I always just called it ablism. But now I have a better word (:

  • @lisastenzel5713
    @lisastenzel5713 Рік тому +18

    Wow... it has a name. Thank you! Now I can scream something after I hit someone in the face for discriminating someone with a disability. Oh gosh...often times I wish I would really hit them. But it rather takes place in my mind...So if I can scream in my mind, it is more satisfying. I can't stand any kind of unfair behaviour. This has got to do with my childhood, but also it is just being me, I guess.

  • @colesuqs
    @colesuqs Рік тому

    Ok so just TODAY, my daughter and I go to lunch at chillies, and I'm obviously in a wheelchair ( I have five amputations! I'm obviously disabled) and the hostess makes a big deal about having to wipe off a table I can sit at, then tried to crunch my wheelchair into a space way too small, then leaves me in the walkway, where the corner of the table is in front of me! So now I'm trying to do a 25 point k turn in a wheelchair with one hand trying to fit in a tiny space, and the asshole behind me won't scoot in and is getting aggrivated that I'm bumping his chair!.... This is why I don't go in public! It took everything not to cry! I'm trying not to cry just writing this!!

  • @squigglejam69
    @squigglejam69 Рік тому +1

    Reminds me of hostile architecture

  • @Stella-dj8rg
    @Stella-dj8rg Рік тому +3

    Severe flashbacks to my trans phobic science teacher trying to give this kid in a wheelchair a high five. The guy couldn’t move his arms. The teacher just laughed and said “haha it’s just a joke I’m only joking”

  • @beverlydust5381
    @beverlydust5381 7 місяців тому

    As a disabled person I have actively openly been discriminated against, and been told that you can't do that or we don't have to accommodate your needs. I was once told by a business owner your disability is not my problem I don't have to deal with you or it.

  • @neildecker4036
    @neildecker4036 Рік тому

    Yes! I've come to the recent realization that if you don't have the words to describe something, you may not even recognize that it exists at all.

  • @olynellis9151
    @olynellis9151 Рік тому +1

    I have autism and an autoimmune disorder, my fiance is also autistic with serious mental health issues and we were both raised here in the states by families who think 'disabled' is a dirty word for someone who's incompetent or lazy, when in reality we just have to work a bit harder. But hes internalized this, have any tips for overcoming internalized ableism+disableism?

  • @madisonpolasky6159
    @madisonpolasky6159 Рік тому

    I find that when people discover that you are disabled there's a kind of fear that comes with that. People are often afraid of the unknown, especially if it's something like being on the Autism Spectrum.

  • @pancakesnake
    @pancakesnake Рік тому

    yes it is a struggle and a pain to be disabled, just like with homeless people, other people will go out of their way to screw us over. it needs to stop, I'm tired

  • @BliffleSplick
    @BliffleSplick Рік тому +2

    This includes hostile architecture where disabled, elderly, parents, etc can't sit down because they want the unhoused to be someone else's "problem" and make it everyone's problem.

  • @mercymonroe83
    @mercymonroe83 Рік тому +2

    Would an old apartment building grandfathered out of handicapped laws NOT doing anything to accommodate disabled people trying to get up the inside stairs to reach the elevators be disabilism?
    I deliver to this building but can’t get up the first few steps inside the main doors.
    Even a fold-up ramp left aside for those who need it would be helpful, but they do nothing.
    This is for an old board of education building turned into trendy apartments.
    They provide mattress carts and trolleys left at the top of these stairs for use by tenants moving in/out, but no way for someone like me or in a wheelchair to get in. This feels wrong.

    • @XSemperIdem5
      @XSemperIdem5 Рік тому +1

      That might vary by country but check with something like the ADA in the U.S. but for where you live. That would be the best more official way to go about it. Sometimes it takes a lawsuit to make something happen though.

  • @trikitrikitriki
    @trikitrikitriki Рік тому

    I'm pretty sure I wasn't rehired as a teacher due to my disability. My school expects teachers to be on their feet all the time while in the classroom or cafeteria duty unless they're elderly. I have fibromyalgia. I can't stand all the time.

  • @bub8002
    @bub8002 Рік тому

    The amount disablism that came put during the pandemic genuinely made me feel like a decent percentage of the population would rather i shuffled off the mortal plane.
    I actually had debates with people staight up advocating for eugenics.

  • @matthewnugent6022
    @matthewnugent6022 Рік тому

    I'm disabled for being too smart and way to depressed and not wanting to do anything

  • @elenchanted9904
    @elenchanted9904 Рік тому +3

    Hmm I have a hard time finding a difference between these two terms because to me both of these types of behaviors are considered ableism. My opinion is that splitting it into two terms is not necessarily beneficial, because I think it's important for people to understand that discrimination against disabled people in any form, whether that be ignorance and inaccessibility or actively trying to harm disabled people, is in the same category of discrimination. It just can look very different depending on context and intention. I think that that creates an opportunity for people to distance themselves from the harm that any sort of ableism can cause ("well my space isn't accessible but at least that's not disableist").... But really it's all under the same umbrella, it just looks different in different cases. I do see the value in having a different term for it as well, but I think for me personally I have concerns about dividing the two. Thank you for your videos, you are a great teacher :)

    • @TemariNaraannaschatz
      @TemariNaraannaschatz Рік тому +1

      I can give you an example from my life to differenciate.
      For context: my grandmother has a severe walking disability due to her age. These days she mostly has us pushing her wheelchair outside the house and uses her walker inside the house and I am her primary caretaker, especially for doctors appointments etc.
      If we go anywhere, we have to make sure, she can actually acess the space. We live in an area with a ton of old buildings, which makes it quiet hard to acess them for the simple architecture of stairs everywhere.
      Now there have been multiple times where we needed to go somewhere and asked if the space was accessible for her and technically it wasn't. But the people there found a way to help her out, despite not being able to make a lasting alteration to the building (the place was rented, you need a ton of legal proceedures to do so where I live, it costs insane amounts of money etc).
      There were also times where people told us sincerly that they were sorry, but that is simply wasn't accessible with her, mostly bathrooms in restaurants here tend to be in basements and these buildings don't have elevators, most of the time because they aren't big enough to put on in to begin with.
      And then there are the other kind of people. Who aren't sorry, who aren't trying to make it work for you. Who tell you that it's not their problem, that she should have done better for her health in the past, who tell her to suck it up, or since technically she can still walk, she should just do that.

  • @RayofLight-od2pb
    @RayofLight-od2pb Рік тому +1

    You just gave the name to what I experienced with Autism. You get sidelined in group or do not get invited at all. :p

  • @adam2802
    @adam2802 Рік тому

    Thank you! I first heard the term Disablism the other day and I couldn't make up my mind if it was something I was unfamiliar with or someone who meant to use 'ablism' and just got the word wrong. I'm still not Entirely sure I'm behind it, feels bit unncessary to me, but then... lots of people out there who can't stand the idea they might be accidentally racist, because they hear 'racist' and immediately think of the KKK... So maybe semantic narrowing has it's place in describing active discrimination -v- unintentional exclusion... I'll leave that up to the people who know better =V
    this is a good explination though, thank you!

  • @finn_in_the_bin5263
    @finn_in_the_bin5263 Рік тому

    Ngl I've only ever heard it described as ableism too, like I've never heard the term but I've heard both definitions as both being called ableism, it's just one is covert and the other is blatant

  • @rockercaterrorencountered4924
    @rockercaterrorencountered4924 Рік тому +1

    I honestly think it's better to use the term ableism for both cases. It doesn't actually matter if someone is a bigot or just ignorant, the end result is the same. I don't think people should be able to claim ignorance as a reason to not be held accountable for ableism. Kind of like how not knowing that a law exists doesn't excuse you if you break it.

    • @TemariNaraannaschatz
      @TemariNaraannaschatz Рік тому +1

      As someone who lives in a place with very old buildings, I disagree. Most people do not realize how bad small bumps in floors are for anyone with a walking disability, because they never experience it. Plenty of restaurants here have their bathrooms in the basements and no elevators due to the old building style making it hard/impossible for people to go there.
      None of that is made with the idea in mind: I don't want disabled people here, they still want them as customers, just like everybody else, but they don't think about it. And it sucks if you have to check for those things everytime you visit a space, but those people were always super understanding and sorry that they couldn't provide a accessibility, some even found ways to work around, once they were notified of the issue.
      None of it was done in malice of those people, they simply did not notice. And that only covers a tiny portion of disabled people, let alone anything that might benefit one type of disability but not another.
      If someone does something out of malice you'll get a very different reaction. And that is from someone where in recent history "euthanasia" for eugenic reasons was a thing.

    • @rockercaterrorencountered4924
      @rockercaterrorencountered4924 Рік тому

      @@TemariNaraannaschatz but like I said, the end result is the same. Whether it's ignorance or malice, I still don't have accesss to the same things that abled people do.

    • @TemariNaraannaschatz
      @TemariNaraannaschatz Рік тому

      @@rockercaterrorencountered4924 Let me put it that way: if laws change to help disabled people those who are just ignorant will comply without issue. Those people can get told about an issue and might find ways to help disabled people for the future, even if they haven't thought about it being an issue before.
      Those who are activly trying to go against disabled people will vote for people who will support laws that dehumanize them. They will harrass them and abuse them and for real people this is way worse.
      You think my grandma is going to be hurt for life about not being able to go to some restaurant? No, but she is still hurt when she got harassed because she didn't walk to her brothers funeral to say goodbye and was in her wheelchair instead.

  • @liljuggala
    @liljuggala Рік тому +3

    I am disabled and I am glad to learn the proper terms and their usages. I am curious about the inverse. I have seen disabled people insult and dismiss able bodied people. Is there a term for that?

    • @ChibiYotsuba
      @ChibiYotsuba Рік тому +6

      Reverse discrimination does not exist. Punching down is discrimination, punching up is not. Often disabled people insulting able-bodied people is a maladaptive coping mechanism for all the trauma caused by able-bodied people. It doesn't make it ok to do, but it still stems from the problem of ableism. The answer to ableism is to educate and fight for our rights. The answer to disabled people insulting abled people is to help them get access to trauma therapy, teach them new ways to deal/cope, meet them with mindness, and also to do the things necessary to stop ableism. This is why the two are not the same. One is discrimination, the other is a negative trauma response, making the other not a type of discrimination.

    • @ChibiYotsuba
      @ChibiYotsuba Рік тому +5

      By the way, the same counts for all types of discrimination: It's about punching down, not up.

    • @liljuggala
      @liljuggala Рік тому +2

      @@ChibiYotsuba well said and we'll received. One question, maybe it is the inner contrarian in me. I was raised with the understanding that judging a group of people based on a physical characteristic was discrimination. Zero mention of up or down punching. It seems like the addition of the up or down punching is the modification of the discrimination definition to excuse discrimination. The same way Christians pretend they are being persecuted to justify their persecution of others. They just modified the definition of "persecution" to mean "being disagreed with" when it comes to themselves, only. Their version of punching up and down.
      I guess my real issue is the appearance of over-labeling of everything in society these days. But that is a whole other topic.

    • @ChibiYotsuba
      @ChibiYotsuba Рік тому +4

      @@liljuggala I'm not justifying anything. That's the difference. I made a point out of mentioning that it isn't right for a disabled person to insult an able-bodied person either. It's just a different background. They don't insult based on attributes beyond your control, but out of response to trauma inflicted by ableism. That's why it isn't discrimination. But I never said that justifies it. I still said it wasn't ok and gave options on how to help the disabled person stop their behaviour. I don't know how you perceived that as justifying and perpetuating anything.

    • @liljuggala
      @liljuggala Рік тому +2

      @@ChibiYotsuba if I gave the impression that I was specifically accusing you of anything. I genuinely apologize. That was never my intention. My point was how I have seen an effort by some to redefine terms to shield themselves while doing the same thing they are accusing others of doing. Like with Christians crying that they are being persecuted when they are called out for persecuting others. Or, another example, when racism got a new requirement of having to have a systemic component to qualify as racism to excuse racism when it is targeting white people. Racism is racism, regardless who the target is. Not accusing you of that at all. Just an example to illustrate my point. I have heard in several instances recently that if that systemic component wasn't there. Then it didn't count as racism and that it wasn't just okay but encouraged. The examples I gave were specifically off topic to ensure that there was little to no risk of accidentally giving the impression that I was accusing you of anything. Being that you have not said anything about those topics. I hope that was clear. I want to further the conversation. Not denigrate you in any way.

  • @inshayana
    @inshayana Рік тому

    Like all those accessible bathroom stalls with steps.

  • @Nelia2705
    @Nelia2705 Рік тому

  • @nyxskids
    @nyxskids Рік тому +3

    You mean my dad who said to my face if I'm unable to work a normal job I deserve to die and then actively does everything he can to make my life harder?
    My dad who is going to outlive me and says it's my fault because I protected children with my body while their parents and the other criminals with them got in a shootout with the cops which is why my lungs are now failing?
    The dad that knows I use a cane, so he'll never pick a place to eat that has any accommodations for mobility issues?
    I have another word to describe his many layered bigotry?
    He's gonna love reading the letter and inheritance from me after I die. 1¢ with a notarized letter that tells him exactly why he's only getting a penny.
    So far it's about 4 pages of little more than a list of all his hatreds.
    It brings an actual full smile to my face to imagine his reaction to reading it.

    • @KatieM786
      @KatieM786 Рік тому +1

      Sorry for the language but your dad sounds like a massive cunt, especially given the circumstances. I'm sorry he's the way he is, you know it's not your fault.

    • @nyxskids
      @nyxskids Рік тому +1

      @@KatieM786 appreciated... Although to call him a cunt is insulting to every vagina in the world 😉
      Thanks for the boost of support. It's rare for me to get these days.

    • @logan9021
      @logan9021 Рік тому

      honestly don't even give him a penny, that could be given to someone more deserving (like yourself)

    • @nyxskids
      @nyxskids Рік тому +1

      @@logan9021 if I give him a penny he can't contest the will but if I give him nothing he can

  • @rochellethundercloud346
    @rochellethundercloud346 Рік тому +2

    I get the message.this world is not for deaf and hard of hearing people

  • @lillipad_frog
    @lillipad_frog Рік тому

    I got 10 different college professors who I want to name rn

  • @Lillyluvsanime
    @Lillyluvsanime Рік тому

    I've fairly recently learned that I'm Autistic in the last few years and my step-dad (along with some relatives on my mom's side and family friends) still casually use the r-slur which was common place vernacular in their growing up (they were born in the mid-70s and grew up between the 80s and 90s).
    Would this be ableism or disableism? If they continue to use this language, around me, even after I've told them that I'm Autistic.

  • @N3RDYG0GGLES
    @N3RDYG0GGLES Рік тому +1

    Ohhhhh I thought they were both ableism but one being more extreme than the other. Noted!

  • @imarrywhales
    @imarrywhales Рік тому

    Abelism is disabled too. LoL. I just feel that way. They have no idea what that entails.

  • @EllipsisMark
    @EllipsisMark Рік тому

    So, ablism is passive, and disablism is active?

  • @emmaflores7463
    @emmaflores7463 Рік тому

    Good to know, I thought it was all ableism!

  • @Exiled.New.Yorker
    @Exiled.New.Yorker Рік тому

    Oh. So like the Canadian Government then.

  • @thebookwyrmslair6757
    @thebookwyrmslair6757 Рік тому

    So ableism becomes the sin of Omission, while disableismis the sin of COmission...

  • @thechronicphilosopher6166
    @thechronicphilosopher6166 Рік тому

    Any ISMs is bad.

  • @develynseether4426
    @develynseether4426 Рік тому

    Jessica the opportunist out again.

  • @itsnemosoul8398
    @itsnemosoul8398 Рік тому

    People who don't struggle with disability obviously don't have to worry about someone elses disability. I feel like it's a bit entitled to expect people to cater to your needs if they don't want to. It's nice if they do but in my opinion it should be a choice. If I decide to learn some sign language to be nice that's what it is: nice. But if I decide to ignore the deaf community because I have no friends or family who are deaf and I don't feel like I need to cater to strangers needs that's not bad. That's just being human. We don't need new words to describe basic human respect and decency which should be a given towards any human. I think there should just be the word "asshole" used to describe anyone who doesn't respect others. And the rest are just humans with different opinions and life experiences.

    • @logan9021
      @logan9021 Рік тому +9

      sorry if this comes off in the wrong way but if you aren't part of the disabled community you probably shouldn't talk about what terms should and shouldn't exist in regards to us since we're the ones that have to deal with the discrimination 👁️👁️

    • @rockercaterrorencountered4924
      @rockercaterrorencountered4924 Рік тому +6

      disabled people have the right to access the same things that able-bodied people have. For instance, the subject of deafness. If you work at a coffee shop and a deaf person comes in and hands you their phone with their order written down on it, it's your duty to provide them with service the same as you would a spoken order. Not doing so is denying them access on the basis of disability.
      It's not "nice" to treat disabled people equally. It's necessary. Not doing it doesn't make you just an asshole, it makes you a bigot who's holding disabled people back from experiencing the world.

    • @itsnemosoul8398
      @itsnemosoul8398 Рік тому

      @@logan9021 Well, but we're the ones who are supposed to accomodate you/who might be discriminating you so we should be part of the conversation, shouldn't we? And if I can't express my opinions/boundaries as an able bodied person without getting labeled negatively we're drifting even further apart

    • @itsnemosoul8398
      @itsnemosoul8398 Рік тому

      ​@@rockercaterrorencountered4924 Your example is a bit bad because who would miss out on a customer if the effort is minimal? I wouldn't have to learn sign language though to accomodate that person even though it would be nice.
      However, you can't treat someone equally who isn't equal. Being disabled literally means being less able. That doesn't mean they're worth less obviously they need help from people who can either be kind and give it or not give it if they don't want to for whatever reason

    • @talia9895
      @talia9895 Рік тому +2

      @@itsnemosoul8398 so many deaf people have spoken about being turned away for trying to order using their phone or piece of paper. just because it doesn’t make sense to you or you have not experienced it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen

  • @suey8151
    @suey8151 Рік тому

    Making up a name for something that doesn't exist doesn't make it real.

    • @KatieM786
      @KatieM786 Рік тому +12

      Just because it doesn't affect you doesn't mean it doesn't happen to others. I'm really glad you have a life where this isn't an issue for you and wishing you a lovely weekend 💕

    • @amandamandamands
      @amandamandamands Рік тому +4

      Right that is why someone just the other day was saying that they were trying to buy wheelchair tickets for the Taylor Swift concert and Ticketek was saying that they don't sell them. Their answer was that the venue has to accommodate you so just turn up and hope that there is a wheelchair spot available.

    • @fabianshedenhelm2986
      @fabianshedenhelm2986 Рік тому +1

      So my mother getting verbally abused by her doctor doesn't happen.
      Me forcing to mask [autism] and getting beat up in my youth never happened. Tearing up my lungs to cater to ablebodied folks.
      It exists

    • @Panda72021
      @Panda72021 Рік тому

      Be gone troll 🧌

  • @atriskeel5427
    @atriskeel5427 Рік тому