Wow. Great title, spoke to me immediately. Used to be scared of confr., cuz I’d be scared of intense retaliation (fawn trauma response). After I overcame that, I’m healthily confrontational. I also practice that by - avoiding checking notifications when I get a message, just opening it as soon as I get it without checking who it is- trains me to confront it immediately & get it over with. The result - becoming comfortable w/ confrontation immediately instead of letting it fester into some prolonged anxiety. Life is much more stress-free now.
I also have suffered from a fear of intense retaliation. This is what I needed to get over. I could either try to people please or, if I lose my patience, blow up from bottling it all up. There was no in between. So what I had to do was express the anger along with other dark aspects to my personality in order to lose the fear of that side of myself, the side i was hiding. I had to find ways to express that with people in a way that was not toxic but also got the job done which was very tricky. I also used a video game with a heavy social aspect called red dead redemption 2 where you could either say nice things or mean things depending on the buttons you press. The reaction of the characters in the game was unlike what i was expecting from a person when saying something unkind so it made me realize that what i was expecting was not the norm. After fully accepting all of my darkness and evil within and not being afraid of it in myself, thats when i fell into balance and my personality noticeably changed because it clicked. I found my true self which i've been looking for for my whole life. Thats why, as the title says fear of confrontation is fear of self because i wasnt afraid of someone hurting me as much as I was afraid of the wrath within myself because I judged it to be evil. I demonized my masculinity. Anyway, thanks for your comment I appreciate it.
@@Karch101 Appreciate your comment so much cuz I relate a lot, and I know a handful of ppl who struggle being authentic due to an intense fear of judgement, rejection or retaliation, they’re the “overly nice” ppl. These ppl Are indeed scared of themselves! Scared that voicing their own needs (showing their true self) will lead to abandonment. I highly recommend looking into the “fawn response”, I developed it thru growing up w/ a volatile parent (Also your self suppression can also be the “freeze response”) ,After normalising confrontation w the parent (which was very scary & uncomfortable) I managed to break thru that barrier & be seen & was able to feel safe confronting either w the parent or other ppl. It does take confronting deep discomfort, awkwardness & pain to break thru to the other side, then u no longer feel that expectation of retaliation via angry response, some sort of dismissal or abandonment. ‼️Suppressing your own needs/ not voicing them out is self abandonment. Expressing them gracefully without fear is self love 💫✨✨
@@irrittt The tricky part is finding a way to express your true self with other without permission. It's one thing to ask permission and then you have license to express it. It's another thing to do it unapologetically. The fear of people reacting harshly, coupled with the fear of abandoment, can be very tough to over come. Part of overcoming it is realizing that most of the friends you have no will exit your life at some point. That has been how it's been for me at least. nobody stays long term. When you realize that sometimes being confrontational and expressing things that are unpleasant to hear is the morally right thing to do, you have a shoe in. The battle is of the mind. If YOU think expressing your true self is morally wrong, you won't want to do it. Nobodys true self is purely clean, there will be some ugliness there. That's just the human experience and it needs to be accepted by you. Sometimes there will be racist, sexist, perverted thoughts and that can cause fear in a person who wants to be morally righteous. Peace with yourself is peace with the ugly along with the pretty and then you will fall into balance.
Wow. Great title, spoke to me immediately. Used to be scared of confr., cuz I’d be scared of intense retaliation (fawn trauma response). After I overcame that, I’m healthily confrontational. I also practice that by - avoiding checking notifications when I get a message, just opening it as soon as I get it without checking who it is- trains me to confront it immediately & get it over with. The result - becoming comfortable w/ confrontation immediately instead of letting it fester into some prolonged anxiety. Life is much more stress-free now.
I also have suffered from a fear of intense retaliation. This is what I needed to get over. I could either try to people please or, if I lose my patience, blow up from bottling it all up. There was no in between. So what I had to do was express the anger along with other dark aspects to my personality in order to lose the fear of that side of myself, the side i was hiding. I had to find ways to express that with people in a way that was not toxic but also got the job done which was very tricky. I also used a video game with a heavy social aspect called red dead redemption 2 where you could either say nice things or mean things depending on the buttons you press. The reaction of the characters in the game was unlike what i was expecting from a person when saying something unkind so it made me realize that what i was expecting was not the norm.
After fully accepting all of my darkness and evil within and not being afraid of it in myself, thats when i fell into balance and my personality noticeably changed because it clicked. I found my true self which i've been looking for for my whole life. Thats why, as the title says fear of confrontation is fear of self because i wasnt afraid of someone hurting me as much as I was afraid of the wrath within myself because I judged it to be evil. I demonized my masculinity. Anyway, thanks for your comment I appreciate it.
@@Karch101 Appreciate your comment so much cuz I relate a lot, and I know a handful of ppl who struggle being authentic due to an intense fear of judgement, rejection or retaliation, they’re the “overly nice” ppl. These ppl Are indeed scared of themselves! Scared that voicing their own needs (showing their true self) will lead to abandonment. I highly recommend looking into the “fawn response”, I developed it thru growing up w/ a volatile parent (Also your self suppression can also be the “freeze response”) ,After normalising confrontation w the parent (which was very scary & uncomfortable) I managed to break thru that barrier & be seen & was able to feel safe confronting either w the parent or other ppl. It does take confronting deep discomfort, awkwardness & pain to break thru to the other side, then u no longer feel that expectation of retaliation via angry response, some sort of dismissal or abandonment. ‼️Suppressing your own needs/ not voicing them out is self abandonment. Expressing them gracefully without fear is self love 💫✨✨
@@irrittt The tricky part is finding a way to express your true self with other without permission. It's one thing to ask permission and then you have license to express it. It's another thing to do it unapologetically. The fear of people reacting harshly, coupled with the fear of abandoment, can be very tough to over come. Part of overcoming it is realizing that most of the friends you have no will exit your life at some point. That has been how it's been for me at least. nobody stays long term.
When you realize that sometimes being confrontational and expressing things that are unpleasant to hear is the morally right thing to do, you have a shoe in. The battle is of the mind. If YOU think expressing your true self is morally wrong, you won't want to do it. Nobodys true self is purely clean, there will be some ugliness there. That's just the human experience and it needs to be accepted by you. Sometimes there will be racist, sexist, perverted thoughts and that can cause fear in a person who wants to be morally righteous. Peace with yourself is peace with the ugly along with the pretty and then you will fall into balance.
Just saying hey.