It’s so important to remember that good sex stems from an emotional connection that you must work on building every day. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions and share what you are feeling! And don’t forget to nurture and love each other in ways that don’t involve sex.
Many couples report that they have amazing sex but very poor emotional connection, so these things are not necessarily linked. Emotional connection comes in because most sexual problems aren't actually sexual in nature. They're about things like trust, safety, sensitivity and fairness.
@@anthalas9 I’ve been a woman for a long time and known women my whole life. I’ve never met a single one who didn’t want their man to express his emotions more freely. And by emotions, I don’t just mean crying when you’re sad. I mean the whole gamut. I mean being able to talk about your hopes and dreams, fears, disappointments, and what truly brings you joy, rather than momentary pleasure.
@@homesweetholly1290 I guess we have just had different life experiences. Also I have found what woman say they want vs what they actually want are often 2 different things. Example women will say the want a nice, attractive, caring, emotional, loving, loyal guy. But put that guy in front of them with an equally attractive “bad boy” and the nice guy will finish last every time.
I love your video. It is logically true that sex is the best way to emptionally bond at a deeper level. Because without it, resentments with huge walls & gap between couples will kill the bond itself
I am glad you enjoyed by video but I think you misunderstood me. Just to be clear: Having sex does tend to increase a couple's sense of closeness. However, resentment regarding a lack of sex usually happens when one partner wants more sex than the other one does. In this case, it is not appropriate for the partner who wants less sex to simply "give in." The couple should talk about the discrepancy in their libidos and uncover the underlying issues that may be getting in the way of them having more--or less--sex.
I am sorry to hear about your wife's trauma. In situations like these, many couple benefit from seeing a couples therapist who is trained to help couples overcome the impact of trauma on the couple's relationship, including their sex life.
Hi. I just found you and relate to your video. My husband and I have been having issues for a year and a half, when I “checked out.” We are very different people, and I was attracted by that at first, but after 22 years I am tired of the constant differences, of having to over explain everything and our lack of positive communication, and intimacy. I need closeness and connection and my husband doesn’t at all, and while I could deal with it when I was younger, now that I’m in my 50’s and the kids will be gone soon, I can’t stand not having it, and feeling alone; and I don’t think my husband is actually capable of providing it. It’s just not who he is. So, that’s where I am. I either accept the relationship I have and deal with it as positively as I can, or move on and maybe find someone who is able to love fully and openly, or not. It just makes me sad that I didn’t acknowledge that I wanted and needed the love I deserve 20 years ago. And while I don’t want to absentmindedly throw everything away, I don’t want to just be friends with my life partner the rest of my life. I still have a lot of life to live and love to give. …
@@gail9566 I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how hard that must be. But I admire you for choosing to work through it. Is he showing you that he’s patient and willing to do the work? Did you find out or did he come clean? That makes a difference for me, personally.
@@invisiblespirit5476 he was acting really oddly at supper and I was able to extract it from him later in the evening. I was shocked. Hes a nice man and a good partner. He broke it off with her the end of June. Were trying to be ok
In the aftermath of an affair, the victim is not "ok". Affairs create trauma in the victim. The offending partner needs to be willing to do anything to repair the relationship, including providing passwords for all accounts to the victim, tolerating all of the victim's feelings, and doing everything to provide all of the love, reassurance and support, including allowing the victim to decide when and if they want to have sex with them. Otherwise, it's time to call it quits.
Hi. I have a close friend who is confused about what her seemingly ideal partner wants. It is in stark contrast to one of your recommendations (which seem very sound btw). Anyway, he wants her to make him feel anxious, scared and downright unsafe in their relationship including their intimate interactions. What do u make of this, if anything at all?
We form relationship blueprints in our early experiences with our parents when we are children. Those blueprints inform the way we act and react in our intimate relationships as adults. If those blueprints included feeling anxious, scared and unsafe with a parent, these experiences can live on in a person's intimate relationship when they become an adult. It is very common for a person to feel that love as well as intimacy with one's partner should include those experiences if love was connected to lack of safety as a child.
In this case, it's time to talk with your partner and explore what happened. Chances are there was some sort of event that occurred at the forty year mark that impacted your sex life. Many factors can play into the quality of a couple's sex life as the couple ages.
I accidentally clicked this ad. I’m going to watch it. Going to post again after I’m done and give honest feedback. But I’m gonna go on a limb and guess this will be counter intuitive and NOT good advice for men.
There is no "normal"! Every couple is different. Some couples have sex daily and others don't have any sex at all and are very happy that way. It's a myth to think that there is some "normal" amount of sex that you should live up to as a couple, or else your relationship is flawed.
If you are looking for a relationship that is not emotionally attached, it a good idea to communicate that to a potential mate in the dating phase of a new relationship so you can make sure they are looking for the same kind of relationship as you are. Doing so will help avoid any confusion between you down the road.
A lot of times they don't communicate it at all they simply slowly withdraw and withhold until they are confident enough to remove it form the relationship, since they no longer "need" it - and leave you not understanding what, why, how?
There is no such thing . Their having sex its just not with you . They settled on you and now their getting ready to move on . Don't worry you will be the last to know .
That is absolutely not true in every situation. Some people just don’t like sex or need it as much as others, which makes it easy for them to avoid sex.
My ex husband used to make similar sexist comments despite the fact in the 17 years of our tulmutous union and despite his anger and violent outbursts the one aspect of our union that remained consistent was frequent sex with a responsive and engaged partner, this being me. Our divorce came about when I initiated it due to his unwillingness to cease his abusive behavior,; it had nothing to do with male sexual deprivation.
Good luck having truly wonderful sex with someone you paid for it. You’re not a lover, you’re just a customer. I feel sorry for you, obviously not really knowing what you’re missing.
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thepowercoupleformula.com
Definitely helpful thanks
It’s so important to remember that good sex stems from an emotional connection that you must work on building every day. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions and share what you are feeling! And don’t forget to nurture and love each other in ways that don’t involve sex.
Many couples report that they have amazing sex but very poor emotional connection, so these things are not necessarily linked. Emotional connection comes in because most sexual problems aren't actually sexual in nature. They're about things like trust, safety, sensitivity and fairness.
Naw, sorry totally disagree. I have known more women than not who will view their man as weak if they try to express their emotions or fears.
@@PowerCouplesEducation I doubt that “amazing sex” is long-lived. It probably doesn’t outlast the initial infatuation phase.
@@anthalas9 I’ve been a woman for a long time and known women my whole life. I’ve never met a single one who didn’t want their man to express his emotions more freely. And by emotions, I don’t just mean crying when you’re sad. I mean the whole gamut. I mean being able to talk about your hopes and dreams, fears, disappointments, and what truly brings you joy, rather than momentary pleasure.
@@homesweetholly1290 I guess we have just had different life experiences. Also I have found what woman say they want vs what they actually want are often 2 different things. Example women will say the want a nice, attractive, caring, emotional, loving, loyal guy. But put that guy in front of them with an equally attractive “bad boy” and the nice guy will finish last every time.
I love your video. It is logically true that sex is the best way to emptionally bond at a deeper level. Because without it, resentments with huge walls & gap between couples will kill the bond itself
I am glad you enjoyed by video but I think you misunderstood me. Just to be clear: Having sex does tend to increase a couple's sense of closeness. However, resentment regarding a lack of sex usually happens when one partner wants more sex than the other one does. In this case, it is not appropriate for the partner who wants less sex to simply "give in." The couple should talk about the discrepancy in their libidos and uncover the underlying issues that may be getting in the way of them having more--or less--sex.
I have found that there is no sex after marriage.
I presume this is a problem for you. If so, speaking to your partner about why you don't have sex would be a good first start.
@@PowerCouplesEducation been talking for 20 years. Seems to have been caused by the trauma of a Hysterectomy.
I am sorry to hear about your wife's trauma. In situations like these, many couple benefit from seeing a couples therapist who is trained to help couples overcome the impact of trauma on the couple's relationship, including their sex life.
Hi. I just found you and relate to your video. My husband and I have been having issues for a year and a half, when I “checked out.” We are very different people, and I was attracted by that at first, but after 22 years I am tired of the constant differences, of having to over explain everything and our lack of positive communication, and intimacy. I need closeness and connection and my husband doesn’t at all, and while I could deal with it when I was younger, now that I’m in my 50’s and the kids will be gone soon, I can’t stand not having it, and feeling alone; and I don’t think my husband is actually capable of providing it. It’s just not who he is. So, that’s where I am. I either accept the relationship I have and deal with it as positively as I can, or move on and maybe find someone who is able to love fully and openly, or not. It just makes me sad that I didn’t acknowledge that I wanted and needed the love I deserve 20 years ago. And while I don’t want to absentmindedly throw everything away, I don’t want to just be friends with my life partner the rest of my life. I still have a lot of life to live and love to give. …
My husband had a girlfriend for 4 months this year. Were trying to pull it back together but I feel repulsed at the idea of sex with him.
I’m so sorry. How long has it been since you found out?
@@invisiblespirit5476 just after Valentines Day.
@@gail9566 I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine how hard that must be. But I admire you for choosing to work through it.
Is he showing you that he’s patient and willing to do the work?
Did you find out or did he come clean? That makes a difference for me, personally.
@@invisiblespirit5476 he was acting really oddly at supper and I was able to extract it from him later in the evening. I was shocked. Hes a nice man and a good partner. He broke it off with her the end of June. Were trying to be ok
In the aftermath of an affair, the victim is not "ok". Affairs create trauma in the victim. The offending partner needs to be willing to do anything to repair the relationship, including providing passwords for all accounts to the victim, tolerating all of the victim's feelings, and doing everything to provide all of the love, reassurance and support, including allowing the victim to decide when and if they want to have sex with them. Otherwise, it's time to call it quits.
Hi. I have a close friend who is confused about what her seemingly ideal partner wants. It is in stark contrast to one of your recommendations (which seem very sound btw). Anyway, he wants her to make him feel anxious, scared and downright unsafe in their relationship including their intimate interactions. What do u make of this, if anything at all?
We form relationship blueprints in our early experiences with our parents when we are children. Those blueprints inform the way we act and react in our intimate relationships as adults. If those blueprints included feeling anxious, scared and unsafe with a parent, these experiences can live on in a person's intimate relationship when they become an adult. It is very common for a person to feel that love as well as intimacy with one's partner should include those experiences if love was connected to lack of safety as a child.
@@PowerCouplesEducation thank you. that’s makes a great deal of sense.
When I was married she was not only well taken care of there but she also took care of the entire neighborhood lol
Oh dear. I am sorry to hear that.
Been there. Trust me, she did you a favor. You cant make someone happy who is not happy. They can however make your life miserable and a living hell.
You married a 304, make better choices
Commen sense !! Is all you need !!
This video is worth its weight in gold. But, what about ED. There are alot of complexities there. Shame, insecurity, vulnerability...
Thank you for drawing attention to this important issue. I will definitely do a video on ED in the near future. I really appreciate your suggestions!
Women cause ED with all their complaining.
For 40 years it was good,then it went downhill!
In this case, it's time to talk with your partner and explore what happened. Chances are there was some sort of event that occurred at the forty year mark that impacted your sex life. Many factors can play into the quality of a couple's sex life as the couple ages.
I accidentally clicked this ad. I’m going to watch it. Going to post again after I’m done and give honest feedback. But I’m gonna go on a limb and guess this will be counter intuitive and NOT good advice for men.
Good insight into the place of sex in a deep committed relationship!
Thank you! I am happy to hear that you found this information helpful.
One great thing about being married is you can't get married.
Men who avoid marriage can avoid all of these issues…
How many times a week or month for sex is normal for a married couple?
There is no "normal"! Every couple is different. Some couples have sex daily and others don't have any sex at all and are very happy that way. It's a myth to think that there is some "normal" amount of sex that you should live up to as a couple, or else your relationship is flawed.
Never Teel a gal your fears.
Women should stop requiring men to be emotionally attached In the same way they are.
If you are looking for a relationship that is not emotionally attached, it a good idea to communicate that to a potential mate in the dating phase of a new relationship so you can make sure they are looking for the same kind of relationship as you are. Doing so will help avoid any confusion between you down the road.
If a woman even threatens to withhold sex divorce her asap.
A lot of times they don't communicate it at all they simply slowly withdraw and withhold until they are confident enough to remove it form the relationship, since they no longer "need" it - and leave you not understanding what, why, how?
There is no such thing . Their having sex its just not with you . They settled on you and now their getting ready to move on . Don't worry you will be the last to know .
That is absolutely not true in every situation. Some people just don’t like sex or need it as much as others, which makes it easy for them to avoid sex.
If couples put God first in their lives and not their self centered selves then then you would have no worries!
Naive way of looking at it.
@@JohnDretired In your opinion.
Don’t ever take advise fork females. How’s this? To avoid a sexless marriage, don’t get married. Men, we can always pay for it snd get rid of them👊🏽✊🏽
Do you live in a cave?
My ex husband used to make similar sexist comments despite the fact in the 17 years of our tulmutous union and despite his anger and violent outbursts the one aspect of our union that remained consistent was frequent sex with a responsive and engaged partner, this being me.
Our divorce came about when I initiated it due to his unwillingness to cease his abusive behavior,; it had nothing to do with male sexual deprivation.
You think only women withhold or reject sex? That’s a damaging stereotype, for both men and women, and it’s not at all accurate.
Agreed!
Good luck having truly wonderful sex with someone you paid for it. You’re not a lover, you’re just a customer. I feel sorry for you, obviously not really knowing what you’re missing.