What Makes a Good Friend? An Autistic /ADHD discussion

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  • Опубліковано 20 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 26

  • @GrammyAllen
    @GrammyAllen 15 днів тому +1

    For me, not worrying too much when people drop off because I'm "too direct" or don't get their subtleties has been pretty huge.

  • @bethanythatsme
    @bethanythatsme 16 днів тому +4

    I love pajama days!
    May I please ask a favor? I've got my big ol autism assessment in a month & I wondered what videos of your's that might be helpful in this endeavor?
    Thank you for sharing your experiences & being vulnerable 🌻

    • @i.am.mindblind
      @i.am.mindblind  16 днів тому +3

      Thank you, I really appreciate the super thanks! More than you can ever know. Good luck with your assessment! Remember you can ask for breaks. I brought snacks to mine too.
      Here's some videos off the top of my head:
      This one I go through some online questions. I talk about masking and not over thinking the questions which is REALLY hard. Vocalize as much as your thought process as you can, because HOW we get to answers makes a difference.
      ua-cam.com/video/VO6TEZOke9k/v-deo.html
      This was my thoughts about my assessment, there's a part one and part two:
      ua-cam.com/video/HgUuJk8zgfw/v-deo.html
      How my diagnosis changed my life. I should probably rewatch this one and do an update now that time has passed. I maintain that my diagnosis was life changing in a good way, and even saved my life.
      ua-cam.com/video/L4BWg1z9QVs/v-deo.html
      I also have have this playlist where I break down a lot of my autistic traits:
      ua-cam.com/play/PLXbDTyBOXAKvziTU-6UooH_MiqySaAK6K.html
      Keep me updated! You've got this. :)

    • @bethanythatsme
      @bethanythatsme 16 днів тому +1

      @i.am.mindblind thank you so very, very much 💜
      Your channel has been a both inspiring and comforting place. I can only imagine how much attention and intention you've poured into it.
      Wishing you all the best from Oregon.

  • @radishraven9
    @radishraven9 16 днів тому +3

    I really loved The House on the Cerulean Sea and it's sequel! 😊 I'm introvert, my friends are extroverts and it feels like they still forget to contact me, but i think some of it is them respecting my need for recovery time, but it's hard to know sometimes because often they don't understand that need. So it is confusing.

  • @raecampbellsstudio
    @raecampbellsstudio 16 днів тому +1

    also on the back of your ER analogy - a good friend would know not to ask you as they would know you well enough to know that is something you would struggle with

  • @maskedmonocle1991
    @maskedmonocle1991 16 днів тому +3

    i noticed you look around alot when you are thinking, i do that too!
    I have two reasons for it- My way of explaining it, is that i'm looking back and forth to scan data in my brain like a hardrive. I also have hyperphantasia, so i also can put myself in a room from memory and i'm looking at everything to remember. (it's been a great coping mechanic when i'm overwhelmed, too. I can just mentally go somewhere safe in a way).
    Eye contact is the hardest thing for me, its either i make eye contact, or i can think. I cant do both, so the best i can do is look for 2 seconds and go back to scanning xD
    As for friends, i have had very very few my whole life. The ones i do have, i cherish like family. I learned the best friends you can have are ones on the spectrum as well, you just understand eachother and don't have to do small talk or deal with fake kindness or drama. You just like being around eachother/chatting and you do it. No pressure.
    My partner and i spend time together by literally just doing our own thing in the same room lol. Its comfortable and happy to us
    just wondering, was that eyebrow piercing difficult for you? I can't stand anyone touching my face/head let alone poking it. I go right up the wall. Looks cool tho!

    • @i.am.mindblind
      @i.am.mindblind  16 днів тому +5

      I have total aphantasia, but somehow looking away from the person I'm talking to, or the camera does help my thoughts come. I do usually avoid eye contact. The funny thing is before my diagnosis, I didn't realize how much I masked and made myself maintain eye contact. I probably over did it. 😅
      I've had many friends over the years, some better than others. I've always said I'm pretty good at making friends, but not good at keeping them. My friendships on average last 2 years with some going beyond that.
      I originally pierced it when I was 17 or 18. Then when I was in my early 20s, still very masked and no idea I was Autistic, people around me told me to take it out and grow up. So I did. After my diagnosis it was one of the first things I did, was get it repierced. When I originally got it done, the painful part was the tweezers they used to pull the skin out to get the needle through. I didn't even know when he pierced it. I don't remember much about the healing. The second time, apparently the hole was still there enough that they just reopened it. So not much healing. Most jewelry bothers me, but this doesn't bother me at all.

  • @faithcooper8935
    @faithcooper8935 15 днів тому +1

    Interesting timing for this video as I had a friend that has betrayed my trust just the other day.

  • @Green_Roc
    @Green_Roc 15 днів тому

    Have uninterrupted time, I need this sometimes.

  • @raecampbellsstudio
    @raecampbellsstudio 16 днів тому +2

    a good friend to me is someone who 'gets' me - who listens and believes me - sadly as a late diagnosed autistic adult I just can't maintain friendships as I think I am seen as rude when I try so hard to get things right - it is all so sad really

  • @flyygurl18
    @flyygurl18 16 днів тому

    Happy New Year Amanda...going with the flow also helps me with PDA ; really relatable video ..loved all the strengths you talked about yourself

    • @i.am.mindblind
      @i.am.mindblind  16 днів тому +1

      Happy New Year. Thank you for watching, I'm glad to hear it was relatable. It's nice knowing other people finally get me. 😊

    • @flyygurl18
      @flyygurl18 13 днів тому

      @ 🥰🤲🏾

  • @chrissimpson1183
    @chrissimpson1183 16 днів тому +2

    Thanks for your incite, I got COVID I am almost over it though.

    • @i.am.mindblind
      @i.am.mindblind  16 днів тому +1

      Oh I'm so sorry to hear you got covid, but I'm glad you're feeling better.

  • @WoohooliganComedy
    @WoohooliganComedy 14 днів тому

    💖

  • @raider363
    @raider363 16 днів тому +1

    I have a adhd and autism and am somewhat the opposite of you but still have problems getting and keeping friends. I'm one of those people that doesn't feel any decay in a friendship even if months or years go by between speaking to them. But other people don't feel that so a lot of the time I find myself realizing too late that someone I thought was a friend isn't at all. It sucks.

  • @chrissimpson1183
    @chrissimpson1183 16 днів тому +1

    Hi Milo!

  • @Green_Roc
    @Green_Roc 15 днів тому

    10:09 oh so according to them, people who dont have cars should not have friends 🙄

  • @ExoticTerrain
    @ExoticTerrain 16 днів тому +2

    Look at your beautiful face!

  • @RabiaElizabeth
    @RabiaElizabeth 16 днів тому

    Bailing at the drop of a hat for no good reason is rude IMO and tells me that the person isn’t interested in spending time with me. Obviously, though, chronic physical pain is a good excuse. You sound like you’d be a great and caring friend, Amanda.