The Son of a Schizophrenic Mom Who Believed Her Hallucinations

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  • Опубліковано 17 кві 2024
  • Chris is the son of a schizophrenic mom who believed her hallucinations and delusions were real. When he was a child, she would constantly tell him things like "There are demons around you, feasting on your soul." Now an adult who is diagnosed with schizophrenia, Chris struggles with the same delusions that his mother once believed, but is in treatment and trying to live a fulfilling life. Chris wants others to know that every person in this world is worthy of help and recovery.
    Support SBSK at / sbsk
    A GoFundMe for Chris: gofund.me/3396161f
    Chris' UA-cam Channel (He said he would post here if there was enough demand): / @christragesser_
    Email Chris at christragkb@gmail.com

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,9 тис.

  • @christragesser_
    @christragesser_ Місяць тому +3726

    Thank you.

    • @SpecialBooksbySpecialKids
      @SpecialBooksbySpecialKids  Місяць тому +669

      Thank YOU Chris for sharing your story. I know it will help many out there. For those reading this, Chris told me that if there is enough interest he may make his own videos. So feel free to subscribe to his channel (that left the above comment)if that is something you would like.

    • @trapsfortroubadours
      @trapsfortroubadours Місяць тому +107

      Thank you for sharing your story, I struggle with mental illness and hearing stories like mine help me feel so much less alone. Sending love your way ❤️

    • @Brycesaggiebabe
      @Brycesaggiebabe Місяць тому +53

      Thank you for sharing your life struggles and the things you have experienced. Much love and respect your way. Keep on working on yourself becuaase you are worth it. You are worth working towards the best life you can have.

    • @oskarlibelle1769
      @oskarlibelle1769 Місяць тому +53

      Thank you sir!!!

    • @ebonylea5200
      @ebonylea5200 Місяць тому +47

      Thankyou for sharing Chris! You are most definitely not alone

  • @CourtneyMarie-ep6ez
    @CourtneyMarie-ep6ez Місяць тому +381

    He’s only 20 but he doesn’t speak like a normal 20 year old would. He speaks as if he’s 40 and wise. I hope he knows how great he is.

    • @courtneywilt7105
      @courtneywilt7105 Місяць тому +28

      Wisdom doesn't always come with age...It comes with experience. Some people are just given much more experiences much sooner than others.

    • @skyofthelivingdead
      @skyofthelivingdead 25 днів тому +14

      He had to grow up fast because of his situation.

    • @elliotrobles3618
      @elliotrobles3618 23 дні тому +2

      that’s what i was gonna say

    • @PAPPADASH
      @PAPPADASH 21 день тому

      No CAP, he's got RIZZ

    • @sensisensei5201
      @sensisensei5201 11 днів тому +4

      People who have schizophrenia are very good story tellers

  • @AutisticWizardd
    @AutisticWizardd 15 днів тому +27

    You can hear the pain and trauma in his voice, the avoiding eye contact, the hunching over. I feel so bad for him.

  • @cv6442
    @cv6442 Місяць тому +343

    If you see this, it is not your fault for wanting a dog. Period. 💔
    I hope you are able to get a service dog that helps keep you grounded during any delusions. Your dog will always have your back, you wont have to worry.
    I'm so glad you have your hope back. You deserve a beautiful life. 💜💜

  • @ruthyaya
    @ruthyaya Місяць тому +2157

    his parents created and left him a whole world of problems. hope this guy finds a way to turn his pain into purpose rather than continue the cycle of trauma and pain.

    • @Moonbunny55
      @Moonbunny55 Місяць тому +65

      He definitely has what it takes to succeed! ❤

    • @MiauxCatterie
      @MiauxCatterie Місяць тому +65

      can't you see he already is

    • @Phawnreath
      @Phawnreath Місяць тому +30

      I can relate to this so hard. My entire Viewpoint of life is so much different from others and it's always been so difficult to talk about.
      I've always been ostracized from society because of the way I think. But the way I think is based off of the life I've lived. I feel his pain.

    • @just.a.hot.potato
      @just.a.hot.potato Місяць тому +2

      And I don't think he is quite understanding "both parents".

    • @szeszi21
      @szeszi21 Місяць тому +14

      Very wellspoken and articulated thoughts. I hope that his apparently high intelligence will help him to work through the hardships he's facing now. Being a young adult is not an easy period for many of us but that's when we can learn the most about ourselves. Hang in there Chris, you will put these things behind you.

  • @anxious_and_avoidant
    @anxious_and_avoidant Місяць тому +1472

    oh man, i'm only 3 minutes in and heartbroken for this man. i hope he finds peace through sharing his story. he's not alone in any of his struggles.

    • @mollyislovely
      @mollyislovely Місяць тому +24

      My heart is so broken as well. I feel terrible.

    • @EveryEditz9112
      @EveryEditz9112 Місяць тому +6

      Same

    • @BlueAlien2
      @BlueAlien2 Місяць тому +20

      As a child, it’s impossible not to buy in to a parent’s interpretation of reality. I am deeply sorry for your loss. You were not responsible. I’m sorry that you have to live with that. I am sorry you just can’t relax. Kindness to you.

    • @melykm4051
      @melykm4051 Місяць тому +13

      He's still so young. He still needs a mom 😭

    • @OligoST
      @OligoST Місяць тому +7

      Alone but not alone. Although there are people out there who can relate, nobody is exactly in his shoes and nobody is better equipped to overcome the struggle than him.

  • @findyourpassion8722
    @findyourpassion8722 Місяць тому +300

    This young man is more self aware than majority of adults. It’s good that he is out of the toxic environments. May he find happiness and true laughter.

  • @kirstron2390
    @kirstron2390 Місяць тому +149

    This sweet, extremely intelligent man has gone through HELL as a child and he STILL is being empathetic and non judgmental to ANYONE in the family…you are a gem and I hope you see this. I don’t know you personally, but I can say you are extremely strong, smart, loving, patient, kind…you are not what you’ve experienced. You are so much better than that. ❤

  • @mareikekeller9688
    @mareikekeller9688 Місяць тому +811

    "Your delusions are real and fake at the same time." That's a perfect way of putting it. I am so happy that you had such a good experience at the hospital and that you have found a therapist you feel you can trust. That is so hard. Not only because good trauma specialist are rare. You also need to find the courage in yourself to trust them enough so they can help you through bad phases. I wish you all the best.

    • @justins3810
      @justins3810 Місяць тому +1

      Probably the crap medication making him worse. Doctors are idiots when it comes to mental health

    • @deathbydeviceable
      @deathbydeviceable Місяць тому

      It's the only way man can experience the unseen. Once you believe in religion heart mind and soul there's no escape from it. The only thing you can do is wait for the second coming in a very dark room

    • @cameronschyuder9034
      @cameronschyuder9034 Місяць тому +1

      @@deathbydeviceableI wouldn’t exactly classify religion as the same as delusions. For one, not every theist practices because they’ve experienced a “personal spiritual experience.”

    • @PookieEST2001
      @PookieEST2001 22 дні тому

      @@cameronschyuder9034religion is a delusion. You think some deity is sitting there, judging BILLIONS of people, deciding who goes where? Did you know that schizophrenics who ARENT exposed to religion have much more manageable symptoms? There’s schizophrenics deep in the Amazon rainforest, on remote islands, in remote mountain villages…and they don’t hurt people “in the name of god”. God is dead.

  • @AnnetFaber-bn5bf
    @AnnetFaber-bn5bf Місяць тому +741

    He says he feels younger than he is, yet carries old. An intelligent man with language-magician skills. I hope he continues to fight and overcome his worst symptoms and learns to feel again. When I listened to him telling his story, I heard not only a public speaker but also a writer.

    • @doramericyavuz
      @doramericyavuz Місяць тому +36

      Exactly what I thought. He's a great story teller although the story he told wasn't so great. Wish him all the best.

    • @heathersha
      @heathersha Місяць тому +25

      Yes, yes, yes! An amazing speaker and sharer of stories. I love how you said "language magician" because that is him! I was spellbound, intrigued, heartbroken, and completely connected from the beginning.

    • @25nickpro
      @25nickpro Місяць тому +17

      Please consider writing. You have a way with words and a powerful story to tell!

    • @simplyshirene8833
      @simplyshirene8833 Місяць тому +5

      Same here. The way he tells his story pulls you in and you listen intently

    • @marmackerel
      @marmackerel Місяць тому +3

      My thoughts exactly! He is great with words and i feel he could become a writer if he isnt one already

  • @BrownGeorge-pw2xo
    @BrownGeorge-pw2xo 9 днів тому +92

    I suffered severe depression and mental disorder years ago as a teenage. Got diagnosed with schizophrenia. Spent my whole life fighting schizophrenia. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

    • @CARIBBEAN_365
      @CARIBBEAN_365 9 днів тому +3

      Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.

    • @JanetRichardson-mq5es
      @JanetRichardson-mq5es 9 днів тому +1

      Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them

    • @SusanaGomez-mp8sk
      @SusanaGomez-mp8sk 9 днів тому +3

      YES very sure of Dr.benfungi. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

    • @Edennnn926
      @Edennnn926 9 днів тому

      100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma

    • @AlexanderMales-gh8bm
      @AlexanderMales-gh8bm 9 днів тому

      How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta

  • @stephaniesellers4315
    @stephaniesellers4315 Місяць тому +151

    His final sentiments have me in tears. What an incredible gentleman. Thank you for allowing him to share his story, Chris.

  • @maksymiliankisielewski344
    @maksymiliankisielewski344 Місяць тому +801

    Dear brother I have a severe schizophrenia but I come from a good familly. I just want to say you are an inspiration how you overcame your problems. You are one good guy. Wish you all the best in life and God bless ❤❤❤

    • @seatherny_y
      @seatherny_y Місяць тому +57

      I was diagnosed extremely early as a schizophrenic. (As a child) I would say my schizophrenia is pretty severe as well but I'm healing. I'm glad your family helps you 😇

    • @fungustheclown666
      @fungustheclown666 Місяць тому +7

      ​@Christine19205gold So have autistic people, but there's lots that were properly treated by their parents. I think its because mental illness can fuel neglect and abuse, and while autism isn't a mental illness, it can cause a lot of mental illnesses. My mom is who I got it from, and she has comorbid NPD or ASPD or BPD (doctors never knew which one it was) from childhood abuse from her undiagnosed autistic drug addicted parents, and she also abuses drugs and has OCD. It all created an unhealthy abusive situation, and it repeats over and over. It's the same with schizophrenia. The thing is, all these things do not automatically cause abuse, they just make it more likely as their sense of morality is skewed. I actually developed some of her OCD rituals for a long time, thankfully I don't have it much anymore.

    • @user-wg4ie9pb3x
      @user-wg4ie9pb3x Місяць тому +7

      @Christine19205gold : you've shared an anecdotal belief, not a fact.

    • @ronniebattle1310
      @ronniebattle1310 Місяць тому

      Jesus Encounter Ministries UA-cam channel

    • @RealMoonmen
      @RealMoonmen Місяць тому +2

      @@user-wg4ie9pb3x Uh, that’s not an anecdote bro. Nothing is being referenced to from real experience, it’s just a blank statement which a lot of people resonate with
      “A lot of schizophrenics have bad childhoods”, didn’t even say “all” either.
      You are more likely to experience a bad childhood when you’re maturing with a mental illness.

  • @millename
    @millename Місяць тому +315

    Oh boy, he’s just 20... Basically still a child! Hopefully he will have a good life ahead and everything will be under control ❤

    • @user-p6-3561
      @user-p6-3561 Місяць тому

      20 year old is a man

    • @devonmunn5728
      @devonmunn5728 Місяць тому +1

      Younger then me too (I was born in 2000)

  • @pamigreenway
    @pamigreenway Місяць тому +32

    He's only 20? This man has taken a lifetime of unimaginable pain and turned it into compassion and insight. What a rare and unique person and I wish him the life he deserves from here on out!

  • @christina8663
    @christina8663 Місяць тому +30

    7 minutes in & I'm mesmerized by how he speaks. I mean I could be totally wrong but he sounds like he would be a great author or poet.
    What I'm trying to say is he has a way with words.
    I wish him the best! 😊

  • @obelisssk
    @obelisssk Місяць тому +530

    This man is absolutely incredible. His ability to survive and be resilient is awe inspiring. Much love to you, and I hope you can find peace and joy in this life.

    • @KerrieBerrie
      @KerrieBerrie Місяць тому +17

      Right, how is it that someone who was shown so little compassion all his life can have so much kindness and compassion for others? I feel like he has every reason to be an angry and mean person but instead... such a testament to his strength of character.

  • @Moonbunny55
    @Moonbunny55 Місяць тому +1276

    How does a child end up with the burden of processing family dysfunction ALL BY HIMSELF!!??
    What a warrior to make it as far as he did and continues to value life despite the cards that were dealt.
    Hang in there dear soul, you’re gonna get where you want to go. Sending love and many blessings to you ✨💖✨

    • @apparentlyasun
      @apparentlyasun Місяць тому +52

      unfortunately children ending up feeling like they have to address the burden by themselves is pretty common in dysfunctional families. especially when the adults can't/won't be able to sort out their own problems in a healthy way, and especially in cases of generational trauma : (

    • @ozziefriez8351
      @ozziefriez8351 Місяць тому +23

      @@apparentlyasunTHIS! Being the one to bear the burden of not only my traumas but my family’s as well has led me down a very difficult (hopefully eventually rewarding) path.

    • @Gee-xb7rt
      @Gee-xb7rt Місяць тому

      @@ozziefriez8351 one therapy used is called Ideal parent figure protocol. The issue is children are hardwired to bond with parents, only when parents don't validate their children it leaves the child thinking its their fault, and there are a number of paths a child can take to try to win their parents validation, be smarter, more entertaining, more pleasing, more accomplished, but of course the validation never comes, and the child keeps blaming themself.

    • @fritzfxx
      @fritzfxx Місяць тому +8

      By definition, the vast majority of those from dysfunctional families have to deal on their own

    • @asiyaheibhlin
      @asiyaheibhlin Місяць тому +4

      I am one of many that I know who are doing the same thing. It seems to be a theme in my generation (born in 1995).
      My conversion to Islam had aided a lot of that, as well as years of therapy, and logical application in my daily life (helps me balance out my emotional state when I am constantly using logic on tasks like debating, writing essays foe fun, problem-solving, etc.)

  • @cassandrabuitron427
    @cassandrabuitron427 Місяць тому +14

    Chris has a novel to share. He was gifted with storytelling. Thank you for your honesty and your bravery. As a mother, my heart goes out to you. As a previous mental health professional, this should be mandatory viewing.

  • @annataymond9529
    @annataymond9529 Місяць тому +14

    It would be so weird to not have any idea how much of what you were told or remembered actually happened, and how much was hallucinations/delusions. Especially with the stuff about abuse from the other parent. That’s insane, I can’t even imagine.

  • @hanney91
    @hanney91 Місяць тому +275

    Your tribe is out there. We can’t all be your friend in person because we are spread all over the world but just know you are not alone… we get you… we love you.

    • @leighleigh8725
      @leighleigh8725 Місяць тому

      NO ONE SAYS NO TO DUMPSTER UTERUS LIZZZYYYYY

    • @f8ofk8
      @f8ofk8 Місяць тому +8

      Thank you for saying this, Hanney. ❤❤❤

    • @sleepydreamdealer
      @sleepydreamdealer Місяць тому +7

      Such a kind words. Even whispered from the other side of the world, they reach and warmed the lonely soul.

    • @Estherbethe1...
      @Estherbethe1... Місяць тому

      ✨🔥💖🔥✨
      🤜🤛

    • @KillTheDeadMonkey
      @KillTheDeadMonkey Місяць тому

  • @bmary8283
    @bmary8283 Місяць тому +278

    This young boy is so strong and courageous. The final message really got me, instead of saying something about him, he focused on us who have watched the video, he focused on giving strength to us, he made the last message a message to us. You really have a big and kind heart. I wish you the best life ever 💙

  • @aminabouali4630
    @aminabouali4630 Місяць тому +12

    I love the way he narrates. Such a brave intelligent man.

  • @DannieJ312
    @DannieJ312 Місяць тому +15

    Thank you so much for coming forward with your story and allowing Chris to interview you. I know there are others watching this who are or were in your same shoes. What an incredibly heartbreaking life. I’m so very sorry for all you’ve gone through.

    • @DannieJ312
      @DannieJ312 Місяць тому +1

      My brother in law is paranoid schizophrenic. He gets it from his dad. He also believes he’s the one Revelations is talking about as well but he came up with that on his own. Medication has helped tremendously though.

  • @thejerk9154
    @thejerk9154 Місяць тому +237

    My mom same. I was diagnosed at 18. My mom still goes too church and believes everything in her head. She would beat me.
    Lock me in my room. I left the house at 18 and now we dont talk at all. The struggle is real. The people in my head will never stop and i wont either. I wish you all the strength u need too get through life. It isnt always fair.

    • @Inquisitor2024
      @Inquisitor2024 Місяць тому +7

    • @Uglyoldhag
      @Uglyoldhag Місяць тому +1

      My heart goes out to you. X

    • @Mo29577
      @Mo29577 Місяць тому +1

    • @GD-xc4wg
      @GD-xc4wg Місяць тому +2

      I talked once awhile ago with someone who had schizophrenia. He said he had to accept it, go therapy and he had medication for it and he was doing way better. He was living with someone who also had mental health, like colocation and working too.
      Courage to you too ❤

    • @Apple_45
      @Apple_45 Місяць тому +3

      How did u end up moving out on ur own? I’m 19 & have persistent depression, OCD, and social anxiety. All the symptoms of these disorders along with living in a narcissistic family makes me fearful of what I’ll do if and honestly when my parents kick me out. I have no support system and don’t know if I can survive on my own.

  • @rawlivingwithdisabilities
    @rawlivingwithdisabilities Місяць тому +233

    I think Chris is so respectful ❤ he let him talk freely no questions or interruption..its like a therapy session

  • @kathymorris4553
    @kathymorris4553 Місяць тому +6

    My daughter has same diagnosis. I’m so sorry your childhood was so terrible. You’re doing good and I’m so proud of you. Remember the past is the past. It is was it is. Stay busy, have a good support system. Be grateful, be happy today is a good day. I would like to be your mom.♥️

  • @baluchon2505
    @baluchon2505 Місяць тому +3

    For him being only 20 years old, I am baffled at the intelligence with which he speaks about all of this. He must have thought about it so much and tried to analyze it so intensely. Admirably resilient person.

  • @noeliarocio4367
    @noeliarocio4367 Місяць тому +155

    Life can be so unfair! He's clearly a very smart, eloquent and interesting person, and it makes me sad that the adults around him were the worst kind of people. Best is yet to come! I truly wish him a future full of love, understanding and happiness

  • @federicav794
    @federicav794 Місяць тому +148

    What a wonderful boy!
    A big hug from an italian mother

  • @binxwaxcap7832
    @binxwaxcap7832 15 днів тому +3

    "Because I have hope now" always keep holding on to that hope

  • @mariamurmis4915
    @mariamurmis4915 Місяць тому +8

    You have had such a hard life. I admire your commitment to heal and your strength and intelligence. I wish you the best! May you find happiness and peace.

  • @HairwayToSteaven1
    @HairwayToSteaven1 Місяць тому +102

    Out of the all the turmoil that Chris has gone through since an early age, a well spoken and humble young man has emerged like a phoenix. Stay strong and thank you for sharing your light

  • @porcelainegg
    @porcelainegg Місяць тому +78

    i can listen to this guy speak all day, i feel comforted by him , i don’t feel alone.

  • @pinipinella
    @pinipinella Місяць тому

    Thank you so much for your kind words in the end. I’m crying 🥲. And thank you so much for sharing your story

  • @theresekirkpatrick3337
    @theresekirkpatrick3337 Місяць тому +5

    Goodness you have been through so much. My cousin experienced terrible things as a child too. Her mother wasn’t sane or kind. Blessings for a full recovery. You deserve happiness, security and peace.

  • @norapeterson6331
    @norapeterson6331 Місяць тому +70

    "I wasnt just a person that was tolerated" Speaking of the people he met at the hospital. That was heavy. He was more welcomed and "seen" by them than with his own family. Well, those were/are very smart people, because this guy is very worth knowing ❤❤❤

  • @jeffreyerickson6766
    @jeffreyerickson6766 Місяць тому +188

    What an insightful and caring man he is.

  • @melissabarravecchio5577
    @melissabarravecchio5577 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for sharing. I struggle with another taboo mental illness and I related to this a lot. Props to you for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Keep going!

  • @gabriela_rose4827
    @gabriela_rose4827 Місяць тому +7

    Beautiful, I’d love to be a friend with someone as kind, sympathetic and well-spoken as you!!

  • @melindawargowsky8176
    @melindawargowsky8176 Місяць тому +110

    How brave is this young man? I’m grateful he’s in an environment where he feels safety and comfort, and that he has a therapist with whom he has connected and bonded. Wishing him a peaceful and happier future.

  • @vivienleigh4640
    @vivienleigh4640 Місяць тому +117

    I used to work with "in-patients", a closed ward, I was in my early 20's and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I felt safe surrounded by people that didn't, couldn't, fake it. It was genuine in lack of a better word. I felt at home. Thank you Chris! You're one of my heroes. Thank you for staying alive and tell your story. What a beautiful gift, precious. So happy that you've met a therapist that you trust

    • @high62609
      @high62609 Місяць тому +7

      I've been an impatient and had some wonderful people who helped me.

    • @saidraalien6837
      @saidraalien6837 Місяць тому +1

      The mood and tone of hospitals is something that always made sense to me .

  • @traumaannellama
    @traumaannellama Місяць тому

    This channel always speaks beautiful truths! Thanks for giving these wonderful souls a platform!

  • @heathersha
    @heathersha Місяць тому +2

    What self awareness! What clarity in the sharing! I am feeling with you my brother, and sending love. Your story is only just beginning, and you have worlds of love, joy and healing waiting in the golden light of each moment. Thank you, thank you for sharing. Believe in yourself because you are amazing and worthy of every wonderful and beautiful experience. 🙏🏽💫❤

  • @jeremiahallyn4603
    @jeremiahallyn4603 Місяць тому +130

    I hate that this young man had to deal with so much at a young age. I hope that he can move on from it and have a happy and fulfilling life 🙏🙂

  • @pechblendae
    @pechblendae Місяць тому +113

    I have flashback myself listening to Chris. My mom was schizoaffective and had mystical delusions as well. I’ve been lucky to have had a loving Daddy who saved at least a tiny part of my mental sanity. All my heart goes out to you, Chris. All of it.

    • @joyful_tanya
      @joyful_tanya Місяць тому +31

      My son, also named Chris has schizo-affective with delusions. He's right now not speaking to me because according to him I am not his mother. 😢 I will be here when he remembers I am. He has a supportive partner who lets me know he's ok. His delusions tell him that his bio father is El Chapo and grandma is Jessica Lang. Can't make this up. My heart breaks because there isn't anything I can really do except love him from afar.

    • @LiClan
      @LiClan Місяць тому +1

      @@joyful_tanyasorry to hear that. I was a very disobedient son with many regrets that I must live with. Please don’t be too hard on yourself as it must be very upsetting for you. I hope and pray for you and your son ❤

    • @joyful_tanya
      @joyful_tanya Місяць тому +1

      @@LiClan thank you very much. I'm trying not to be hard on myself. It's been hard, but it's getting better.

    • @MercuricChloride
      @MercuricChloride 28 днів тому +1

      ​​@@joyful_tanyaI'm also named Chris and schizoaffective lol, what a crazy occurrence with people named Chris huh?
      But I hope your son gets out of his delusion that you're not his mother, just show him lots of love and empathy and hopefully things get better for you

    • @joyful_tanya
      @joyful_tanya 28 днів тому

      @@MercuricChloride thank you very much Chris. He's blocked me for now but I will be here when he's ready. His long term GF let's me know he's ok. 🫂❤️

  • @val_smiling8474
    @val_smiling8474 Місяць тому +4

    I am so sorry. No child should have to go through what you did! You deserved much better!
    I'm proud of you for reaching out to help (therapy, medication, interactions, telling your story...) It is such a brave thing to do! And uncharted territory for your family line... Yet you're doing it!!! Keep going!
    I hope you continue to have more and more hope! ❤️

  • @YadisThantos
    @YadisThantos Місяць тому

    thank you for being here and sharing your story, you are beautiful, i wish you the best and hopefully a good and supportive environement and life.

  • @allylabar21
    @allylabar21 Місяць тому +56

    I so badly want to give him a hug! I want to show him the proper love of a mother/family, just to show him he is loved and cared about and make sure he gets what he needs. 😢❤😊

  • @ravenmmarlowe
    @ravenmmarlowe Місяць тому +70

    Sending so much love your way Chris! My dad has schizophrenia and it led him to being really violent towards me throughout my childhood. I always try to lead with kindness and empathy, but I think that the experience resulted in me having a subconscious fear of people with psychotic disorders for a long time. I’ve worked hard to educate myself and become an advocate for people with schizophrenia but it’s a continued journey for me. Stories like yours need to be shared and I’m so grateful to you for speaking out against the stigmas surrounding schizophrenia. ❤

  • @dcnunez100
    @dcnunez100 27 днів тому

    "That I have hope now" - Yes! This so touched my heart 🥰 You are not alone. In my prayers. Sending love and support from Southern California ❤️

  • @Amandapanda888
    @Amandapanda888 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you young man for your message at the end of the video. I’m going through an incredibly hard time right now and have lost a lot of hope but your message gave me light in my heart. I hope for a better future and life for you as well. Keep pushing through because you are loved!

  • @TheNomadicSunny
    @TheNomadicSunny Місяць тому +97

    chris, i relate you are not alone. my partner is a T1D and i’ve been traumatized over and over again through saving his life over his T1D lows- waking to him seizing beside me(we live in a van) and it’s been so tough. as shitty as it is i am glad to relate to someone

    • @TheoRae8289
      @TheoRae8289 Місяць тому +7

      it's amazing what a moment of no longer feeling alone can do.

  • @marag1568
    @marag1568 Місяць тому +114

    What to say about such a story… this is beyond heartbreaking. Yet, despite your pain, you are so composed and wise beyond your years. Please remember that you are not your family’s mistakes - you are anything but. You were/are a young person seeking comfort from a family that neglected that affection. What you’ve taken from all this tragedy is amazing. I’m 23, and could only hope for this type of retrospect and wisdom when I’m much older. I’ve experienced struggle, but if I had to deal with a fraction of what you’ve been through, I don’t know where I’d be. You are incredibly intelligent, resilient, and kind. You’re special, and despite all the cruelty that’s been bestowed on you, I think your fight will take you far. Thank you for sharing❤️ sending you love and well wishes

    • @marag1568
      @marag1568 Місяць тому +20

      And for the record, you have such a great voice, such a specific way of compelling storytelling. I think you could write a fantastic memoir - and that’s saying a lot considering 1.) how young you are 2.) this is coming from an English teacher (if that actually means anything lol)!

    • @LaPimposa
      @LaPimposa Місяць тому +7

      I wrote to him: i would like to improve my english with you! He could be an excellent english teacher. I am an italian native speaker. So i totally agree with you

    • @jezstyles2233
      @jezstyles2233 Місяць тому +6

      English major here! 1. Your comment was beautiful! 2. I totally agree! Chris has such a beautiful voice, sound wise and syntax wise. Chris should definitely write!! Doesn’t have to be a memoir (since it may need to take lots of time and could be traumatizing; not everyone needs to share their story and be an activist or whatever) but writing can help with anxiety and provide an amazing creative outlet that can be a safety net for people to go to rather than negative self talk, etc. it definitely helps me through any frozen state I find myself in. ❤

    • @marag1568
      @marag1568 Місяць тому +4

      @@jezstyles2233 thank you so much, and YES!!! Great points - you’re absolutely right!! Writing of any kind is so healing (I can attest) and whether he shares it with anyone or not, I’m sure he’d have such a captivating voice!❤️

  • @BioSpaceCat
    @BioSpaceCat Місяць тому

    Your mental strength is very inspiring. Thank you for the kind words at the end. I also wish you a long path of hope and joy.

  • @annagustavsson9969
    @annagustavsson9969 Місяць тому

    Thank you for sharing your story and sharing hope! You are so well spoken, what a thoughtful and beautiful soul! Best wishes from Sweden!

  • @seto02
    @seto02 Місяць тому +63

    This was heartbreaking man, you deserve all the love in life. Your finishing words really touched me thank you for that!

    • @Moonbunny55
      @Moonbunny55 Місяць тому +6

      Me too! It was straight from his heart! 💖

  • @Nikki-mx3fv
    @Nikki-mx3fv Місяць тому +23

    I'm not afraid of you kind Sir. I was raised by a single mother, who worked as a psychiatric registered nurse. She has bestowed her knowledge onto me. So I understand. Your words at the end floored me and made me cry because oddly those are the words I never hear but truly needed to. Thank you for that. I don't believe it quite yet but those words can help me to put one foot in front of the other for tomorrow. Never underestimate the power of your words. Thank you again. You are appreciated.

    • @messitup
      @messitup Місяць тому +1

      I'd like to give Chris a big big hug!

  • @boundlesslife
    @boundlesslife Місяць тому +4

    Chris, thank you so much for sharing your story. I clicked on this video so quickly, because I have been struggling for so long by myself. I grew up in a chaotic household with my schizophrenic mother. No one told me that her paranoid delusions were not real. No one even acknowledged that there was a problem. I was always walking on egg shells and had no idea what the next day would bring. I remember being forced to sleep at friends' houses, because my mom told me that the mafia had hired a hitman to murder us in our sleep. She was convinced that aliens communicated with her in the middle of the night through the smoke detectors. Even though I was a perfect student who never did anything wrong, she accused me of selling cocaine, and countless times she reminded me over and over again that when my parents finally caught me selling drugs, they would disown me and never speak to me again. No one ever comforted me. I had to figure out for myself that the delusions were not real. I have C-PTSD and cannot afford therapy, so I am just trying to get through each day at a time and find a sense of peace after so many years of fear and despair. Thank you so much for sharing your strength and your words that we are worthy exactly as we are. I recognize how difficult it is to find vulnerability, connection, and compassion, and it takes true strength. I am sending you my best.

  • @alsolima3358
    @alsolima3358 Місяць тому +2

    Thank you for sharing your story. It will definitely contribute to increasing social visibility of mental health issues.

  • @ivonned32
    @ivonned32 Місяць тому +68

    You can do it Chris.
    You have brought your issue to your consciousness now. You are aware.
    It will get easier and easier with time. Dont loose hope on your self!
    You are exceptionally intelligent. 🙏🏾👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽✨✨✨

  • @petunia2008
    @petunia2008 Місяць тому +102

    Chris, I am so deeply sorry for you... I wish you only peace and joy. Sending lots of love from Poland.

  • @giuliasies1956
    @giuliasies1956 Місяць тому +2

    This is by far the best video on this channel. The amount of adversity this man has gone through truly seems unbeareble, which is why his message at the end gave me so much hope. He is so strong, eloquent, well spoken. I hope he can continue to heal and finally feel happy, cause he deserves it so much. Thank you for the video, this one is extra special.

  • @daviboiify
    @daviboiify Місяць тому +2

    You really have such an incredible understanding of when it's time to just quietly listen to a story. It's such an underrated quality in interviewers. I love watching you interview people. This must be the least I have ever heard you speak, and yet this is one of your most captivating videos. You have true talent.

  • @brazelton24496
    @brazelton24496 Місяць тому +49

    As someone with recurring major depression and a daughter with a schizoaffective diagnosis I hear you, I see you. The positive path you have chosen will, I hope, bring you a better life than you have had.

  • @TheNordicharps
    @TheNordicharps Місяць тому +193

    I am a retired psychiatrist. I have met so many like this very intelligent handikapped young man. My heart goes out to him. I hope he gets all the help he needs. ❤

    • @GeekGamer666
      @GeekGamer666 Місяць тому +54

      Out of curiosity, why did you feel the need to use the word handicapped in that sentence? Intelligent young man is still accurate.

    • @theboujieproletariat
      @theboujieproletariat Місяць тому

      Exactly. Disability has no correlation to intelligence! ​@@GeekGamer666

    • @YuokoII
      @YuokoII Місяць тому +4

      @@GeekGamer666 I'll be bold to assume that its professional deformation

    • @lovingmayberry307
      @lovingmayberry307 Місяць тому +4

      ​@@GeekGamer666
      That might be typical language in his country.

    • @user-gf1xg5zd9l
      @user-gf1xg5zd9l Місяць тому +15

      @@lovingmayberry307Handicapped isn’t a medical term. His English is good enough to know that is an outdated term.

  • @MicahAngelOfficial
    @MicahAngelOfficial Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for your courage in sharing your experiences, Chris Tragesser. You’ve been incredibly brave through traumatic events that were never your fault, & they never should have happened to you. You are worthy of safety, peace, stability, & support in every area of your life. I hope you continue to share your creativity & your healing insights with the world. Your story is powerful, helpful, & validating for many people. I’m very glad you’re here.
    & thank you, Chris Ulmer & the SBSK team for creating this inspiring channel + organization. ✨

  • @Sonnenspinne
    @Sonnenspinne Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for sharing your story and thank you to the makers of this channel for doing this.

  • @TheBriZone
    @TheBriZone Місяць тому +78

    This is one of Chris's most important videos. Raw and real. Just like the disease of mental illness. Thank you gentlemen both for your bravery to speak so bluntly online. Chris, you have a purpose in this life. You are very intelligent and so young. I believe you have the ability to do real good in this world. God loves you, dont be afraid to express your beliefs. Thank you for sharing your story. Many will benefit. ❤

    • @patrikpass2962
      @patrikpass2962 Місяць тому

      Thats nice to say. But wont this comment make his illness of grandeur worse?

    • @MercuricChloride
      @MercuricChloride 28 днів тому

      ​@@patrikpass2962how is it grandeur exactly? He isn't putting himself on a podium

    • @patrikpass2962
      @patrikpass2962 28 днів тому

      @@MercuricChloride Chris told us he has problems with grandeur trough a religious context and she is implying that he is special and she mentions God.

    • @MercuricChloride
      @MercuricChloride 27 днів тому

      @@patrikpass2962 doesn't mean his entire disorder is grandeur based. Delusions are episodic

    • @MercuricChloride
      @MercuricChloride 27 днів тому

      @@patrikpass2962 but I do agree that the OP of the comment we're under shouldn't have told him to openly share his beliefs

  • @WishAtElevenEleven
    @WishAtElevenEleven Місяць тому +51

    I love that this channel sheds light on a wide variety of serious mental illnesses that are usually not talked about.

  • @mamakim1698
    @mamakim1698 Місяць тому +3

    What a lovely man. Really heartbreaking story. I can relate to a lot on the feelings he has struggled with and how his life has panned out. Trauma is complex but there's hope and even though it took a long time, I'm thankful for feeling completely different after yrs of therapy. A good therapist and a drive to push through the bad days is essential and this guy seems to have that quality. Good luck to him. ❤️✨✌️

  • @christasista9
    @christasista9 Місяць тому +2

    I would love to see you interview more people like this, please. This is one of my favorite interviews you’ve done on this channel. Thank you for doing this. I hope he gets all the help and support he needs and can live as normal a life as possible. Thank you.

  • @melissah1953
    @melissah1953 Місяць тому +40

    Im tearing up. This man is a good soul who did what he had to. Reminds me of my own childhood and its not okay but I would do it all over again ❤

  • @samsaleumas8429
    @samsaleumas8429 Місяць тому

    Such a great storyteller, would listen to you speak for hours. The maturity you display and shared is truly astounding, every word seems to be weighted with meaning and a deep understanding. You deserve so much love and I hope the comment section will grant you even more of that. You helped me today, we are with you

  • @sarahweber964
    @sarahweber964 Місяць тому +1

    Incredible young man is Chris. That you are now able to talk about your past, speak eloquently, have hope, and even encourage others shows that you are capable of massive healing. Thank you for your time in this interview and keep going on your journey. It is wonderfully moving and heartening to hear.

  • @B0bCat11
    @B0bCat11 Місяць тому +56

    Hey Chris, you strong af. Thanks for sharing all of it.

  • @Burkwood
    @Burkwood Місяць тому +32

    What a smart young man. I'm really glad he realized he needed to open up. As someone who has isolated myself because of my depression, I've had to make that same decision, and it has really helped. To let your pain out into the world and not keep it wholly as a part of yourself. I wish him health and peace.

    • @ivpetr4544
      @ivpetr4544 Місяць тому +3

      All the best to you too 💙

  • @MegaJamesno1
    @MegaJamesno1 Місяць тому +2

    Great interview. This guy is super smart and articulate. I wish him all the very best of luck going forward🙏

  • @LM4210
    @LM4210 Місяць тому +2

    So articulate and smart for such a young man. I wish you the best of life as you work through the trauma.

  • @monaminchau4798
    @monaminchau4798 Місяць тому +31

    Chris, you are a normal person in most aspects. Your childhood experience is hopefully not “normal”, and I am so happy for you that you have found a way forward. You can take pride in how much you accomplished as a child and adolescent, even though that was forced upon you so early. That inner strength and resilience can take you to a much happier future. Believe in yourself and be proud of yourself. If you are not “normal”, you are certainly not inferior, but better than many of us!

  • @sarahbattle6208
    @sarahbattle6208 Місяць тому +63

    Thank you for your testimony this is probably one of the best episodes I’ve seen on this channel

  • @jazhillstaten
    @jazhillstaten Місяць тому +1

    Hands down my favorite episode. I have learned so much. Thank you.

  • @gamersguide_1
    @gamersguide_1 Місяць тому +80

    Getting to know people facing these struggles but still going is truly fascinating!

  • @kileygaither9302
    @kileygaither9302 Місяць тому +31

    His message at the end made me cry. Such a beautiful soul, thank you for this. I see so much growth in your future

  • @Talkingpage
    @Talkingpage Місяць тому

    Such a brilliant eloquence, such a kind soul, such a precious human being. I'm deeply sorry you had to go through a horrible childhood, but I can see that you're a good, intelligent, incredibly strong person. Sending a big hug!

  • @nerfworthy218
    @nerfworthy218 Місяць тому

    You are incredibly well spoken and so very brave to come on and share your story with us. You aren't alone. Thank you.

  • @AmericanMeiling
    @AmericanMeiling Місяць тому +23

    That poor baby 💔 the Trama he endured , yet still speaks so calmly about her ... The avoidance of the medical community and extreme beliefs mixed in with a horrible mental disease ... are indeed a deadly mix 💝 I am grateful he acknowledged her sickness and his own .. he can get the help his mother never got ... Just imagine how many cases are hidden in history 💖 I hope he finally gets many True happy moments ... You are Amazing

  • @jaderinehart7179
    @jaderinehart7179 Місяць тому +35

    Thank you for sharing this story! I've been following this channel for a while because I'm an aspiring mental health professional but this episode hit very close to my heart, I've never seen a story as similar as my own and it's so relieving in a way to know that there are other people who have experienced similar trauma as you. For context I grew up with a father with undiagnosed schizophrenia that revolved around religion as well for around 10 years and it was extremely difficult, especially because for a long time I was undiagnosed with autism among other things. I'm so glad to see that after it all there is still happiness in the world for people like me and Chris.

  • @PaulaValentine-pi6jp
    @PaulaValentine-pi6jp Місяць тому

    Such a truly inspirational story. You are not alone. You are worth it. You deserve to be loved and live a happy life. Thank you for sharing part of your journey with us.

  • @alxee1203
    @alxee1203 19 днів тому

    So well spoken, self aware, and likeable. Thank you for sharing

  • @mgxbreu
    @mgxbreu Місяць тому +45

    Thanks for your kind words, Chris, you also deserve compassion and forgiveness. Im glad that you have hope now. When I started having hope for the first time all of my life changed and it was thanks to my therapist, too.

  • @justins3810
    @justins3810 Місяць тому +56

    Mothers like this do tremendous amounts of mental damage. My mother is nuts and always has been. She has since disowned me and turned my entire family against me because of her sick delusions. This is so sad.

    • @moomoocowsly
      @moomoocowsly Місяць тому +15

      I used to think the same as you until I learned about generational trauma. It's only ever possible to blame the individual themselves when we're ignorant of the things they experienced that made them the way they are. Often those things are never shared and end up simply lost to history. Disorders like this can potentially go many, many generations back, being passed along like a curse.

    • @justins3810
      @justins3810 Місяць тому +6

      @@moomoocowsly Are you excusing her from turning my family against me because of her own sick delusions? Sure her mother was nuts too but that doesn't make it ok for her to take my kids away and turn everyone against me. She's a great faker indeed. My ex wife now benefits and my kids are gone.

    • @karyne826
      @karyne826 Місяць тому +8

      @@justins3810Maybe you need to turn to professionals to help you manage your own mental health issues. Break the cycle.

    • @justins3810
      @justins3810 Місяць тому

      @@karyne826 I'm sorry. I am irritated beyond what you could imagine. The mental health system is a laughable and these so called "professionals" are some of the dumbest people alive. I know this from experience.

    • @melykm4051
      @melykm4051 Місяць тому +6

      ​@@moomoocowslyno. You bleed on your therapist not your kids. Millennials are breaking generational trauma. Because frankly we love our kids more and didn't want to ruin their lives like our parents CHOSE to do when they chose not to get help and take accountability. Being abused is not an excuse for abusing. Stop

  • @ClaireNief-uy5un
    @ClaireNief-uy5un Місяць тому

    Such a brave and kind soul ❤ I think your eloquence and storytelling are riveting, thank you so much for sharing your past and putting yourself out in the world

  • @aliciakowalski
    @aliciakowalski 3 дні тому +1

    He is such a strong and courageous person for sharing his story. And his message at the end had me in tears.
    Thank you for opening yourself up and sharing your story

  • @artemishunter4242
    @artemishunter4242 Місяць тому +19

    Tears streaming down my eyes just how sad and how much sorrow is in this man had in his life. I want to say that someone is thinking about you and loves you and wishes nothing but the best in this life. Keep working on yourself and doing good in this world we NEED people like you.

  • @blairariavanderkamp3405
    @blairariavanderkamp3405 Місяць тому +25

    I am so sorry that you had to live and grow up like that. I'm proud of you for fighting and living a fulfilling life.

  • @capyboppy
    @capyboppy Місяць тому

    Out of all the wonderful videos over the years I’ve been watching this channel; this is the one that has touched me the most. So honest and real.

  • @ms.communication8464
    @ms.communication8464 Місяць тому

    Thank you for this interview, Chris! You are very worthy. Thank you for your messages to us.

  • @mollyislovely
    @mollyislovely Місяць тому +30

    Seriously bless his heart and I hope for the best in his journey. I’m proud of him for wanting to continue. I wish them all the best in life.

  • @carolknight5805
    @carolknight5805 Місяць тому +19

    Your not alone. Your story is so sad yet so inspiring. Please consider writing a book about your journey, it could help so many. I've been a psych nurse for over 30 years and your story could help so many. Stay strong and bless you.