13 Verbs to Cut from Your Writing
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2024
- Verbs make your sentences powerful--but only if you pick the right ones. Here are 13 verbs to consider cutting from your writing.
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Move, went, walk, attack, hit, carry, love, hate, like, felt, thought, believe
Thanks, I'm gonna sticky this so people have something quick to reference to
I watched the whole video anyway. 😅
unless you are talking about walking like an Egyptian LOL
You left out "tried," "was," and "were." Also, Brandon didn't actually list "hit."
I used "hit" once before and I think it was fine. It was a chapter where I described hitting a keyboard's key instead of the plain "press" that doesn't give any immersive details of the action.
I think its important to note that these verbs dont necessarily need to be prohibited in dialogue. There are times where a character might be recounting an event, maybe a woman says "he hit me" in confidence with her friend referring to her husband. You can also have characters say things like "I love you", "move!" And "I may not be able to carry it for you, but i can carry you". Using these words should really only be restricted in the narration of your story
Worth suggesting they only be AVOIDED... not entirely restricted or banned... Think about the EFFECT mentioned in the video. Yeah, most of them were described as "weak"... That's one way to put it, and a couple times he mentioned "detached" or "distance"...
That's interesting... or it can be IN THE RIGHT CONTEXT.
Don't forget that whether you put together a novel, a comic book, short film, or feature... NOT every scene is going to be climactic. You don't get a classic piece of masterful literature with every word and sentence literally jumping out of the page at you. It becomes melodramatic, pretentious, and eventually stupid.
Instead, be discriminating. Clearly 9 out of 10 differences from rough draft to semi-professional second or third draft or edit is going to include "punching up" the language. At the same time, what about the heroes suffering through some psychological damage? What if the intended effect in THEIR perspective and perception is some distancing, some vagueness??? Then by proxy, the audience should get at least a taste of it, too... and the weaker more distant or detaching phrasing comes in handy.
SO maybe knowing these effects is worth being able to pick and choose where to engage them and when to drop the "rule". ;o)
pretty much whenever you see someone tell you to avoid certain words, verbs etc, that doesn't apply to dialogue. Characters can say whatever they want, and depending on the character, it would even be better if they say something that's grammatically incorrect
Anyway, generalisation is bad.
The advise in the video seems to be aimed at the narration of the story, not the dialogue.
I only write fanfic for fun but it's embarrassing. Shows me everywhere I could have cut words or picked better ones. Very useful. thanks.
This stress over verbs is a recipe for overwriting. Some writers think "He sauntered/stumbled/sashayed toward the door" is better than "He moved toward the door" but "moved" is a historied alternative to that kind of flourish. If writers just stop using bad adverbs and adjectives, let them use whatever verb seems natural.
You're so spot on about dialogue, B, I wondered how you have so many Stephen King books behind you. Now with this verb business, I grok. ;)
PS: Bad verbs begin and end with "utilize."
Exactly! I always see “He/she scrambled, he/she wobbled,” with no apparent reason for it whatsoever. Moved and basic movements such as walking are always the best to not confuse the heck out of people!!
@@CptWingspanhe slinked towards his electric refrigerator as his inner food sack growled its demands menacingly
@@msjkramey if your goal was making the reader uneasy, you have been successful 😂
@@CptWingspan oh no! Lol, I took the bad wiring too far ig
For most of these and the words in the previous video have one major thing in common to sum them up, and that's "be more specific."
As always it depends on the context. As a command saying "Move!" is perfectly fine.
Hi Brandon I really like your channel. I'm an indie game developer and I think I have a good imagination and can make some pretty fun stories. But actually conveying the stories, and writing dialog scripts, scenes, etc can be hard sometimes. Even though alot of your videos, are focused on writing tips for books, your channel still helps me alot. Thanks.
Thrilled to hear that the videos are helping. Best of luck with your game career. Some of my favorite stories come from videogames (Virtue's Last Reward, MGS 1-3, NieR, etc.), so I hope someday you'll add a great story of your own to the growing list of awesome VG stories
Every writer should have a Thesaurus handy during writing and especially rewrites or final drafts. A Thesaurus is basic English class stuff but is a very helpful tool in writing.
Yeah, I'm always looking for synonyms during the editing process
I might add, don't just use a thesaurus for the sake of a word that's longer or sounds better; use it to find a word that carries a subtly different meaning.
Whoa, that's weird. I just realized I violated my own rule in the comment explaining the rule. I subconsciously substituted "carries" [ironic word choice in this context] for "has", I guess in order to be pretentious.
Please don't. Likes of Stephen King mock people for said bookism. You don't want your writing to sound like Twilight.
I am someone who has many publications, taught creative writing and won many writing awards. If you need a thesaurus, don't be a writer. Try reading, reading and reading, and you'll grow a word horde that is better than any thesaurus.
Thesaurus is amazing however ensure your not putting the wrong words. Lol
Context is everything. "Think/felt/believed" works really well in detective novels, for example, because the detective will not have insight into the specifics of how a particular victim might have been feeling in the moment. So when writing that report, if you choose to share a exerpt from the report, you may choose to permit a more blanket deductive term.
"She must have believed her life was in danger."
Vs
Anything youd have a detective write about her hyper desciptively.
What other verbs should be cut? Let us know!
Awesome channel, Brandon! I've been bingeing after recently discovering it. "That" is a word that hits me as overused. Not when used casually, but in an attempt to raise impact. "David was terrified of needles; THAT's why he avoided hospitals." ...instead of something like, "...and he would avoid a hospital at any cost." ~Cheers! On edit: But of course, it's not a verb :-D
Great list of verbs! I would add the verb “look” as well. I use it as a way to signal a descriptive paragraph, but in editing almost always cut it out. These verbs work great as placeholders on a first draft, especially when doing writing sprints.
Should have more views. More writers should be taking these tips
I’m not yet certain that you have helped me to become a better writer, but having spent a whole evening binge-watching your videos I am 100% sure that I will be a better editor. Thank you Brandon, you have a new subscriber.
One of the few times to use the word move, is if you are changing the location of your residence..
Nothing wrong with that
It could makes sense when character(s) reacts certain actions through a dialogue using weak verbs after a narration that utilizes a more stronger verb to describe the action for context. I think this may be effective in third person view -- or second person view, who knows? When characters tend to ignore detail, only a narrator cares.
Overall, great video, sir! By far, the only channel I found full clarity in writing tips.
Thank you! This has been helpful. A word search in my current document revealed a multitude of boring sins, now improved - and I am only up to "attack". It seems I have twelve of them to check. Yikes.
One fun use of weak verbs is to lull readers into a false sense of relaxation before a shock. Hopefully not too relaxed, though.
This is one of your best videos. I wouldn't have thought of most of this stuff, but a lot of your points made sense. I think there can be plenty of exceptions, however, so few (if any) of these should be absolute hard-and-fast rules. More than anything, this video does a good job showing how to make a person's writing tighter and more fluent.
Incredibly helpful, thank you. The word I have the most problem with is "walk." There are just so many ways you can substitute a different word, and not every word fits with every character. A woman might flit across a room, but a brutish man does not. A heavy man could lumber across a room, but not a petite woman. If you substitute the word "walk" too many times, it begins to sound artificial and/or pretentious. It's particularly difficult with manuscripts greater than 300 pages.
I am definitely bookmarking this video to rewatch as I go through my second draft, as I think I'm guilty of every transgression.
Just found this! Thank you. I was able to go through my short story and edit some of these words out.
Modal verbs should, could, and would are seen as "filter" verbs to cut; personally it depends. Even ING verbs are seen as weak, and these are harder to cut, especially if you write in present tense. One other one I see bashed often is the use of double verbs together, one forming an adjective to describe another (ED or ING or unusual forms like taken, etc.)
Yeah, you want to cut what you can, but sometimes a story won't sound natural without those weaker verbs.
Another great session
Love your advice.
Glad it helped!
Toss in "managed", "started" and "began" along with "tried."
Walk is a hard one for me to drop. Sometimes the characters aren't walking in any particular way. They're just walking 😂
Hahah I tend to overuse “stepped” while avoiding “walked”
I think it’s when walk is overused it’s a problem. If you use it sparingly, as a contrast to other verbs it holds more meaning
@@EH23831 In real life most people just walk. Sure there are people you see rushing or limping or what have you, but the vast majority of people who move by foot just walk. So it makes sense to me that if you are not writing a book where it is some freak show where everyone has some weird way of walking the term "walk" or "move" would be the most appropriate one for describing movement outside of a scenario where there is a specific thing the character does out of norm like being in a hurry thus walking quickly or running.
@@1tepa1 people unironically giving writing advice on changing normal verbs into ministry of silly walks rejects. This has to be the worst advice so far said on this channel.
@@KasumiRINA Yeah I am not even a writer myself but this advice sounds bad. Like it sounds like the person who did this video is saying to just arbitrarily change verbs for more interesting ones. But this is not a change that you can just do willy nilly because the verbs are not synonyms, using rush or stumble instead of walk means the scene you are writing changes.
Unless you are writing scenes where the person is actually stumbling or rushing for a good reason the normal term walk is perfectly appropriate to use. The person in this video says that the term walk should be used sparingly and instead other terms should be used more often, but what kind of a book can you write if the people that walk are the exception to the rule and the majority are stumbling, rushing, dancing, tip-toeing and what have you?
Checked a chapter of mine, and sure enough 'moved' and 'walked' appeared. One is even for a slightly drunk character. 'Bobbled' or 'swayed' or something else? Good advice!
Great video. Personally, I'd find it useful if you broke up each group and made a separate video about them in more detail, including more examples showing before and after sentences. I'm currently struggling with to be verbs and how to replace them. Sometimes it's obvious like the example you used, but other times, I have no idea what to do with them. Don't get me wrong, I understand that it's not black and white, but I want to have the skill to remove them even if I decide not to. It's the skill that I'm missing.
I could do a video on swapping out To Be verbs. Is there anything specific you'd like to see in that video? Maybe you have an example sentence that's giving you trouble?
The only cure I know when dealing with verbs of being is to write in active voice, where the verbs acts upon the object. Active voice also negates another power robbing problem--passive voice. Writing in active voice is not an innate skill but an acquired one. My friend was handed back the first chapter of his master's thesis with the threat of monetary fines for using passive voice constructions. Force yourself to let your verbs do the vast majority of the heavy lifting.
Great advice as always! Love the alternative examples you provide. (Alas, I'm guilty of overusing "believe" and "thought," although in more of an annotative context.)
Got it. Used verbal hyponyms instead of verbal hypernyms. Thank you.
I do think in some cases leaving some of those words sounds better, because its perspective. It may not be concise, but it is what the character thinks, or believes. It may not be accurate like in the imperative sentence. I MAY think something will happen, its my feelings, my thoughts, my hopes. If the clouds are overcast the character may feel it is going to snow from past experience and doesn't want to risk being caught outside. The emotional impact may be more important than concise writing. Though I do agree overall that it can clean up wordiness.
ty
Just wanted to ask.. aren’t ‘they were running’ and ‘they ran’ different tenses?
Wouldn’t usage depend on that as well?
No. "were running" is past tense. Were is the past tense of Are; running is a gerund where an action is given a name so becomes a sort of noun. "Ran" is the past tense of "run".
Examples:
"I have been rowing for ten years." I have been engaged in the sport of propelling boats with oars for a decade. "Been" = verb, past tense of "be" or "am". "Rowing" gerund, the name of the action.
"Please, don't interrupt, I'm flying my kite." Wait! I am engaged in keeping my kite aloft. "I am" = verb, present tense. "Flying" gerund, the name of the action.
Oh my gosh. I have 'was' 1797 times in my 93k manuscript. 😅
Gonna have to work on that. For sure a lot of them can be cut.
HAD. Omg the word HAD. I'm currently editing a story I wrote and I am soooo disgusted how many times I used that passive word! It's amazing how removing or changing these "boring" words can make your writing pop!
"Walk" is... pedestrian.
I see what you did there
Walk is Egyptian. Which makes it better than "bouncing boobily" or whatever your thesaurus replaces it with.
Great video. It does lead to a question. Should characters use those words in speech or should they be avoided there as well? A very literate or erudite character might say "The villain slithered across the room" but most of use would use the word "went" in conversation. How does the character's intelligence / background fit into this?
one of my goals in writing is to make a channel and offer the things ive learned on the journey and one of the biggest reasons why is because i want to tag your channel and mention and suggest you to others. never ever stop man. and i hope youre currently writing some sweet a** stuff right now!
Thanks so much for the kind words! And best of luck with starting your own channel... Best advice I can give is to be patient. My channel took FOREVER to attract an audience (almost a year to get 100 subs), but now I'm starting to grow after 3 years.
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty yes it is growing a nice healthy pace it really is. the best value is always contributed by the core fans who sometimes number barely 50. i absolutely love seeing the same names commenting on videos, those are youre people man. and thank you for the well wishes! keep truckin mcnulty!
@@iosyntropy Thanks!
Those were good tips, the problem I have with them is that, for the most part, they tell, not show. The way I like to do things is imagine like I'm looking at a picture, i can't tell that the character feels cold just by looking at it, unless he is shivering and hugging his arms.
Another example is from the video.
"He was worried about their survival supplies."
The way I would make it is something like this.
"He opened his backpack and noticed that there was nothing but a piece of cheese inside. 'Crap' he sighed."
I realize that's not the best example, but I'm coming up with this on the spot. All I'm saying is just try to show your audience how the character feels, rather than tell them. They are not stupid and makes them more connected to the character
Good point, but he also emphasized in his character intro vid that telling is still crucial to storytelling, e.g, knowing a bit of the character's backstory or a part of a scene that doesn't need emotional reaction to it.
So overall, you should be focusing on balancing show and tell when it comes to your scenes.
aunt Becky and the swimming seems like words well spent. A worthy description.
I find it genuinely impossible to not use "was" or "were" when writing third person narrative. I mean you could, similar to how there's a novel written without the letter 'E', but they're such prominent words in the English language, you're going to use them sometimes. Yes, it's good to rewrite "the bear was huge" into "the bear towered over him" or "the bear must have been fed twenty pounds of meat a day to reach that size", because those other two allow the reader to visualize it and put themselves in place of the character. But for a simple sentence like "what was he talking about", the word is perfectly appropriate.
Several years ago, just because I like to do stupid crazy things, I decided to eliminate all forms of the “be” verb (is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been) from my speech and writing. No “be’s” in contractions either. It took a lot of work, and sometimes I would run into a sentence that almost demanded a “be” verb (“He was eighteen years old,” for example). However, I got to where I can speak pretty easily without ever using those words. I don’t speak like that anymore, but I do write that way, and I have found that the restriction has really benefited my writing.
We tend to use stative verbs naturally, like, “It was cold outside,” or, “She was having a wonderful time,” or your example, “What was he talking about?” With a little practice, these sentences morph into “it felt cold outside,” or, “She enjoyed herself immensely.” Your example, as a question, presents a bit of a challenge, and I would have to know the context to do it justice. I would restate it as “She strained to hear the topic of his conversation,” or with a different context, “What did he mean?”
Ultimately, you can’t say everything completely naturally by eliminating all “be” verbs. However, you can usually write what you want to say in multiple different ways. I’ve found the exercise so fun that I kinda got addicted to it.
By the way, I would rewrite your comment to eliminate the “be” verbs as follows: “I find it genuinely impossible to not use ‘was’ or ‘were’ when writing third person narrative. I mean you could, similar to how someone wrote a novel without using the letter ‘E’, but those words feature so prominently in the English language, you have to use them sometimes. Yes, it benefits to rewrite, ‘the bear was huge’ into ‘the bear towered over him,’ or, ‘the bear must have eaten twenty pounds a day to reach that size,’ because those other two allow the reader to visualize it and put themselves in place of the character. But for a simple sentence like, ‘what was he talking about,’ the word fits perfectly appropriately.”
Can you do a video on reactions? such as a person gasp, raise eyebrows, narrow eyes, frown, questioned etc? These are the few words I know.
I think these tips work best in a 3rd person narrative
Ps, your tips are extraordinary
Funny how mere 15 seconds after he mentions "were + verb ending in ING" should be replaced he utters the phrase "... and if you were listening...". Just proves that there is no hard rule against any specific word, specially when you are trying to create a more believable and natural speech.
Great video and great list but always have in mind that there are situations where all of these words could and should remain in your texts.
" That's not merely stating how they were in danger, but the character's fears for them as well.He was concerned they might freeze to death if they stayed out there."
Move isn't limited to people
I wonder if using the word thought and think in reference to the power of thought or thinking was the enemy could be acceptable?
How does this fit into 3rd person close vs. 3rd distant? In distant it might be more necessary to say things like “he thought?” What are your thoughts?
You can add “he thought” to create distance, yes.
Interesting that you didn’t list “said” since, in school, that’s we were taught to avoid as much as possible and to replace it with alternatives.
However this would quickly devolve into out of place uses of “roared”, “spoke”, “shouted”, “whispered” etc.
It really shows that “said” isn’t actually that bad when used in a more casual scene or that excessive thesaurus use can take the reader out of the story and just show’s amateur writing.
You give awesome advice
Thanks! Glad the videos are helping
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Absolutely great channel! Greetings from the Netherlands
@@user26912 Thanks! Are you a fan of Thomas Olde Heuvelt btw? I'm a huge fan of his book HEX. I hear the Dutch version is different from the English one
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty I had to look him up. Have not read any horror ever, actually. Maybe should give it a shot. I watched some horror movies in the past, but I stopped because of nightmares.
@@user26912 I loved HEX. It was pretty scary but also a well told story about a family trapped in a small town
What do we use when talking about relocating? He moved from New York to Miami. Other than relocate, what word could be substituted?
"Lug" and "heft", there're a couple of verbs I never even knew existed! XD
Most of what you described were instances of narrative and for those you are pretty on point because most narrative/monologue is internal and in a passive voice but shouldn't be because passive voice can soon become droning and then boring and bog down the pacing. Dialogue is almost a different beast all together and usually spoken in active voice. To keep it natural sounding in accordance with the characters cultural background and dialect you will have to use the language level that matches and most of the verbs you try to leave out are going to be necessary for establishing those characters level of functioning in the cultural setting. Compare playwrights Tennessee Williams and Noel Coward... Go on, I dare you! Actually, don't they were contemporaries but each wrote according to his cultural milieu - more concrete thinkers (Williams) used simple and more common verbs while more abstract thinkers (Coward) tended to use more dramatic verbs.
When you make an active effort to avoid -LY adverbs a lot of these bridge verbs disappear from your writing by default, but yeah, this is a good list.
Brandon will I ever get it??? I hope so. I'll just keep trying. Thanksx
Damn this is a good video! I'm embarrassed how much I needed it. I intend to share. I used "moved" 72 times in my first book, and "went" over 60 times. Damn words were so weak, they're invisible.
I haven't had a chance to watch yet, but is it safe to assume that you want to avoid "passive voice" as much as possible?
I think "move" is OK in conjunction with "not."
Darren stormed straight out of the office, cursing under his breath, attempting to stifle his anger. Ripping the driver side door almost off Its hinges. The car shook like a paper boat, and rattled as he rained a barrage of hammer fist thuds over the poor steering wheel. letting the furiosity awoken surge through him.
The shaking stopped momentarily. Then shock ran through the staff when after an ear-popping screach. The office tremble as a thunderous roar of his engine erupted. Just like that he was gone. Nothing but smoke-filled air and tyre tracks.
What you think. A scene from my unfinished novel 📖
(Tried) to leave out those words
Not bad at all--nice job spicing up your verbs!
I think you could take out cursing under his breath. We can tell he's angry by how he stormed out of the office. Also if we're reading this from third limited from Darren's POV it's contradictory for him to be sympathizing with the steering as he's barraging it with hammer fists. Take out the "then" before shock. Maybe rewrite as "the office trembled as his engine errupted in a thunderous roar."
Just my personal take! Do with it what you will :)
@@ComandaKronikk Great advice man!
Is and are
"TO BE" verbs. AM, IS, ARE, WAS, WERE, BE, BEING (can also add, HAVE/HAD, GET/GOT). Here's what I learned: Use them in your drafts. When you're editing remove at least half of them, better to remove 90% of them.
Best Advice from Orwell: Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Attack is a wonderful word to describe a ravenously hungry person's approach to their dinner, but I get your meaning.
Hey guys I'm not s writer but I do enjoy videos like this. So when replacing felt, thought, believe as the video says. Doesn't it change an opinion into a fact? So if it's so cold he thinks it will so. To it's so cold it will snow?
The story will usually be from the POV character’s perspective so it’s still technically an opinion
I feel like some of these words are more than OK to use in some situations. I mean, you've argued that show and not tell is a bad writing advice, and that telling can help save time. So can a lot of these words.
If your aim is to draw attention to specific actions to give them more meaning, then yes, these words may not be the best to use. Otherwise, I think they're fine.
I should feed the transcript of all your videos to ChatGPT so it can be my editor.
Thank you, Brandon. Last year, I took a hard look at my novel. I realized that whatever emotional impact was needed, I could add or take away words.
Sad scene: was/were, maybe could work.
The word felt or thought might work too but I could maybe use words like:
He imagined, sensed, craved
Thanks for watching! And yep, strong verbs make for strong writing.
Years ago I read an article that analyzed Chuck Palahniuk's writing (author of Fight Club, Choke, Lullaby, etc.), and it claimed that his strong verb choice is what made his writing so effective. That article has always stuck with me
I don't like because. I dispise it but it keeps coming up.
I think "cutting" those verbs entirely would be a mistake. There are many ways they can be used effectively.
We need to talk about verbs people avoid I'd rather hear.
For example: "made watter" instead of "pissed."
Or "cleared their throat" vs "showed signs of inevitably dying of cancer." You get the idea.
#13 Definitely a problem for me. I noticed that overuse it a lot it's starting to annoy me.
Me too. It's my worst. I have it 1797 times in my 93k manuscript, that I have to comb through. 😭
for attack and move can I say, Peter rushed towards John with a right straight to his head followed by a left hook to the jaw
Sounds good to me... Does John try to block/dodge/counter?
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Nice suggestion, I'll try to have that in the scene. Thanks :-)
@@jundolor Good luck!
I once tried to read an amateur author who thought the passive voice was any sentence with was/were, and he did everything he could not to use them. In the first thirty pages of his novel, he used one be verb that I saw. It was awful. You overuse those sort of "action verbs" you'll make your work sound like cheap pulp. And also, I think there's a danger of letting big action verbs take over for description, such as saying the character hauled up the package rather than describing how they struggled to pick it up and carry it up the stairs. My 2 cents.
These examples push your audience to be more creative with language. Applies to all genres.
I worry that writers think too much about mechanics, and writing bromides, too little about what makes the work worth reading.
I recall an article long ago, critiqueing proposed standards for grading Scholastic Aptitude Test essays. It excerpted famous authors, whose lauded works would fail the standards badly. And then from a polemic by the Unibomber, which met the standards well, but was largely a pretentious, probably schizophrenic, dreary rant, if worthwhile at all, surely said far better previously by other schizophrenics.
Think about George Martin, who writes less about word choice, and more about the compelling nature of the human heart in conflict with itself. Other good writers will have other touchstones...but equally compelling in their hands.
He moved across the room as he went to the door. He walked out and carried a package he loved back inside. He was suddenly attacked by someone he believed he liked as they were friends but now hated. He thought that he should hit this guy and tried to do that, but he felt sad.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”
“The best of times, the worst of times.”
Am I doing that right?
Yep, Dickens didn't have a clue
"Seth attacked Dwight" = Lame and lacking.
"Seth lashed out at Dwight, bolts of black lightning arcing from his fingertips" = Way cooler
Longer, yes, but far more descriptive. I don't think I have ever used the word attack to describe a character's action. It just never occurred to me. Do some writers actually do that? :(
I'm a terrible writer, but I can usually tell good writing.
Careful with this. Don't end up with "Said bookism" when people printed entire books with thesaurus for verb synonyms and instead of using simple verbs like "said" some of Jane Austen heroines ended up "ejaculating" in some conversations.
Rather than breaking them down into individual words, I like to think of them as "show don't tell" violations. Avoid interpreting the characters' intentions, and instead tell us WHAT they did, WHAT they said etc. This is also why you should avoid adverbs (e.g. he walked across the room angrily), because they're interpreting the character's intent rather than describing their actions.
the school essay make that you can only use 1 be verbs per paragraph
That's a good limit. To Be verbs can drag down your writing
This is why there's so much shit writing. Schools force people to write purple prose.
The first two words I learned was from tracing the love hate tattoos across my mothers knuckles...
It’s okay if it’s autobiographical though hey?
"They were talking at the diner when the lights went out." How bout this one? Does it count
If we're talking about verbs that aren't carrying their weight, how about "said". There's almost always a more evocative verb than "said", just as there's almost always a more evocative verb than "moved" or "went". If she "stormed" across the room, perhaps she "bellowed" when she got there rather than "said angrily".
Walk is a perfectly cromulent word.
I'd say try and maintain a balance. Don't tie the entire story down with descriptive nonsense when you should be moving things forward. Correct pacing is just as important.
Absolutely
Cut and paste notes
You could use "Ctrl+F" find fuction to go looking for these words in something you have alread written, or even just look for "ing"s
13 Verbs to Cut from Your Writing
(Writer Brandon McNulty YT)
These verbs are very general, non-specific, lacking emotion, not visual…mostly bland
Move rushed, stumbled, slithered
Went stormed, tip-toed
Walk Hurried (not Walked quickly), Trudged (not Walked slowly)
Attack/Hit Tackled, threw a coffee cup at,
elbowed the intruder in the face (mention nose damage after etc),
Carry Lugged, hefted (imply weight, shape of what is being ‘carried’)
Love/Hate BEFORE:
She loved swimming.
AFTER:
The moment her feet left the diving board, her whole day changed.
The water splashed life back into her skin and washed her problems away.
BEFORE:
He hated his Aunt Becky.
AFTER:
Nobody made his skin crawl like his Aunt Becky. Not only did the woman stink like a
dumpster, but every time she babysat him, she pinched his cheeks until they bled.
Felt/Think/Believe Is the word elongating and weakening the sentence?
He (felt) worried about their survival chances.
(He thought) It was cold enough to snow.
(He believed that) If the stayed out here they would freeze to death.
Tried Ok for low stakes ‘He tried to make a coffee but the kettle did nothing.’
BEFORE:
He tried to stop his car but crashed into the truck ahead.
AFTER:
He slammed on the bake. (Something the reader can imagine physically doing)
His tires squealed. (A sound, Short exciting sentences)
The speedometer dropped, but not fast enough. (visual, through characters eyes)
He crashed into the truck ahead.
Was/Were Talked at the coffed shop. (not Was talking) Ran (not Were running)
7:26 "It was cold enough to snow, and on the eve of the 8th day, God declared 'Let there be snow', and it was." - Genisuss 32.1
Kittens for a pittance.
“She smiled uglily,” guess who wrote that.
Angry scenes: words like, moved, walked, hate wouldn't work.
He bolted, lunged are better
He seethed, he loathed, he raged, are better.
Stormed and charged are other good ones for indicating fast, angry movement. I always plug those in when things get heated
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty, BTW, may I get your opinion on the popularity of clean / closed door romance in 2021? That's my genre but nobody speaks of it much. I put a poll on LinkedIn and I'm hearing crickets . . . so far that is. Thanks, for your insight.
@@lorrismalls4736 I don't read much romance, clean or otherwise, so I'm not sure how much of a help I can be. One thing I do know is that Hallmark romances are clean and they're popular, so you should be fine if that's your subgenre.
Regardless of how popular your genre is, you need to be happy with what you're writing. I write horror and supernatural thrillers mostly, and they aren't the most popular genres (especially compared to straight-up Sci-Fi or Fantasy), but I write what makes me happy.
Thanks, for the insight. Be well.
@@lorrismalls4736 You too, thanks!
Uuhh why would someone tiptoe over to a cashier...
Extra words betray a lack of authorial confidence.
I think "look" is another weak one. "He looked at her." "She gave him a look." I know in that second sentence that "give" is the verb, but it suffers from the same problem. It doesn't tell you anything about the way she looked at him.
The first half of the video was how to write cringe fan fiction. Once it gets to “felt” the remainder of the video is good advice.
I loathe the phrase "a handful of.........". Although I understand the intent, it is detracting, most especially when referring to huge objects. I.E. : " A handful of galaxies..................."
My English teacher advised us not to rely on "said" or "replied." Find other ways to articulate verbal expression.
"I'm rushing this weekend to a new apartment. Could you help me to stumble?"
Good, very good, in fact. But 'survival chances' is not good, not good at all. Compound nouns are not how one thinks. 'He worried about whether they would survive' is better but not good. Better: 'He worried. Could they survive?'
'Copy maker'?
Some of this advice is ridiculous. People don’t always trudge, skip, amble, trot, limp, etc. from one place to another. Sometimes they just f*ing walk.