What most people doesn't seem to realize is that what makes us read a story, a novel is "human emotions and conflicts." Everything stems from it: the actions characters take and the decisions they make. That's what makes the plot unique and good. And appealing.
It's interesting that you say that, because I remember the old Skylark of Space series by E.E. "Doc" Smith. That space opera, IIRC, bled conflicting emotions all over the place... as applied to one- or two-dimensional stereotypical characters (and Marty Stus and Mary Sues, to boot).
Absolutely. The best dialogue makes the characters (and the audience) uncomfortable. Like The Joker in Dark Knight... He's right about his philosophies, but he still scares us.
Word to the wise: avoid dragging your pacing down by including conflicting introspection so often that it gets in the way of the actual Stuff Happening in the story.
In the last scene I wrote, there was dialogue of an argument between two family members. At first there was happiness and then there was anger. And I only did this instinctively 😅, but after this video, I will pay more attention to creating conflicting emotions. Thanks for this!
@@victorbryan5482 Yeah, it often happens instinctively, especially if you've been absorbing a lot written stories. Always helps to be more aware of what you're doing though--especially when it's time to edit
my idea for the storys beginning is the protagonists lives with his mom who is overly obsessive with him so the protagonist is extreamlt lonely and introverted with his main source of intertqinment being comics and female streamers his job is to inject soldiers with a specific drug and his mom was the person who invented it.well,The protagonist discovers that this injection he is giving soldiers at his job gives them superpowers and he gets so exited that he overdoses the injection.he thought something cool would happen but all he got was intense pain sweating and shaking.his mom being the person who invented the drug notices the symptoms in the protagonis from the injection and punishes him in a mentally abusive way for doing it.thats when his powers enabled from the injection where the more negative his emotions the more heat spews out his body.i have mostly been changing the superhero story around to make it descision based and not purely by chance.his reasons for making that descision is he thought he could finally get a girlfriend and friends if he had powers.
Right now my idea is the protagonist may love his mom but he wants to move out and his mother doesn't like that setting up some mention and characterisation
"[...]A character who is feeling contentment, but struggling with guilt..." Excited/dreading something, depressed/hopeful, happy/nervous.... My character is at least one set of all these, in any given chapter. She is living the king of emotional roller coasters I tell you! 😂 What's really funny is every time I sit to write some of her story, I always think, "Man, she is a MESS." LOL According to this video, it's the reason my readers say they want more! I don't often feel too proud of something I've done, but I'll give myself a big ol' pat on the back for this one! ☺ Great video, Brandon, and thanks for the confidence boost. 😉
Thank you for this. I have a slow down moment for my main character and the back and forth dialogue was boring but With your advice, I was able to add internal conflict actually for the main character and build tension. It actually works.
Another great way to get tension is dramatic irony. If we as readers know something the characters don't know, that inherently creates tension. We're just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Let's say, for example, two characters are dating. Character A has been cheating on Character B and has decided to break up with them. But Character B has decided on that same night to propose to Character A. If we know both these pieces of information, an ordinary scene of them having dinner will be incredibly tense. Will Character A make their confession before Character B can propose? Or will Character B propose and Character A pretend to accept their proposal? Every line of dialogue, every action, will have a palpable subtext. For me, this is the best way to create tension: 1) let the readers know something important that the characters don't; 2) place the characters in a situation where whether or not they find out this knowledge will have huge consequences.
Is it possible to use dramatic irony if the whole story is seen from the perspective of the main character? Or would there need to be at least some 3rd person perspective to generate this?
@@jooshm of course! For example: A is cheating, and has planned to break up, so from their perception they don't know what B will do, but in dialogue or expressions we are able to deduce that B may have planned something (in this case proposing) so we read how A is trying to break up with them but B seems to be more lovely and clingy than usual, this also generates tension from now being sure of what the other side (aka B) is planning on doing. Another example would be adding a C character, that's the main POV and who knows both secrets, and for some reason or another just cannot tell either, and watches the scene unfold, kind of filling the spot of the readers in the moment
To anyone reading this, please repent and believe the gospel! There is a loving God who wants to know you and save you. Jesus died on the cross and resurrected so we can be forgiven of our sins and be saved. Please consider the state of your soul. Believe in Jesus and follow Him so you may have salvation. Life is short, please make the right choice today!
Great video. Easy and straight on point. You support what you are explaining with clarity and samples of writings in a way that is easy for anyone to understand. Keep up with this approach. No fluff, and it shows that you also take time to prepare your topic by gathering all these samples. After watching this video, I went back to my writings, and it is easy to see how I could make it better by creating some tension. ❤💯
"Jack's chest heaved as he struggled for breath, each inhale sharp and shallow like a knife's edge. The walls of the room seemed to close in, the ceiling pressing down with an oppressive weight. Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead, stinging his eyes, blurring his vision. The air was thick, suffocating, and his pulse pounded in his ears, a frantic drumbeat driving him to the brink of panic. Desperation clawed at his throat as he fumbled for the door, his fingers trembling and slick with sweat. He had to get out. Now. He was allergic to thumbnails with open mouths."
It's already on the subtext that Jack is afraid and desperate, so instead of "desperation" you could say "a lump clawed at his throat..." to create other imageries to demonstrate the desperation
The absolute best UA-cam channel in the universe! I think I ended up doing this unintentionally. It was done to flesh out a character's back story with her brother. Family dynamics can be tense on the best days!
I'm gonna pretend there's zero hyperbole in that opening line haha. And yeah, I've unintentionally done this as well. It's one of those techniques you can learn intuitively, but it helps to be aware of it, especially when you're trying to spice up a bland scene
Definitely one of the more useful pieces of writing advice I've heard. Extremely practical in that it doesn't require specific plot devices to make it work. As for the question of the day (2 years late), no, my most recent writing does not contain opposing emotions in every scene -- or if it does, it's an accident. I will definitely add this to my writing & editing process.
Peter S. Beagle is the master of conflicting emotions that build tension. The Last Unicorn will have conflicting emotions IN THE SAME SENTENCE and it feels natural and real. For example, Molly will describe her old boss and say something akin to, "He was a right wicked bastard, the poor child." She both sees the evil in his actions AND the sad child in his heart. In one sentence, we get a good picture of him and a deeper understanding for Molly's sharp observation skills along with her empathy.
Ooooo! It’s Privet Drive (as in privet bush). They’re very suburban English things, he lives in the suburbs 😀 I wasn’t sure if you were being ironic when you said people may have heard of HP books 😀 you minx.
This is very interesting. I guess I'd always sort of believed that tension should have a payoff, or else the readers will get bored. Sort of a "cry wolf" syndrome. But in this video, there's that sort of "back and forth" between the emotions that plays nicely with a reader's expectations... almost a payoff of its own... in so many words.
Thanks again for this video. You are a genius. Entry Wounds is excellent. Every single part of scene one both describes the situation and is worded so that I'm hanging on to see what happens next. You are influential to my screenplay. Thank you. You genius.
I subscribed to your channel and hope more people, especially those aspiring writers, will use your video tips to improve their writing. It is worth the cost of thousands of dollars in writing workshops. Thank you.
I always thought that I am OVERUSING this technique 🤣 My characters ALWAYS have internal conflict. And I mean ALWAYS. Always think aboutt something opposite or possible contrary to what is happening to them. Or conflicting thoughts. Never knew it is actually THAT useful and thoght it was a little too much whenever I do that. 🤣
The examples make these videos really useful. Short and sweet helps as well. Michael Connelly's books ,especially Bosch add tension to nearly every page. It's a constant battle, and not just the epic plot points. Every conversation has something he's trying to achieve. Not surprisingly, his books fly by.
What this really made me realize is jk rowlings sentences are almost all using “was” “had” or “that” so clearly I can use them. I don’t know why I was advised otherwise
Isn't this more about open loops, or unanswered "questions"? For instance wouldn't the first Harry Potter example still work without the contrasting emotions as long as we have the odd details that are unexplained that prompt our interest and stimulate us to lean in and want to know why? Excellent video by the way.
Thanks for the tips. I'll try them out. I'd like to offer some advice to you as a speaker, though. Mispronounced words can hurt your credibility. A privet hedge may provide privacy, but it's not pronounced like private.
It would be better to show the emotions and the tension rather than simply stating that the character is happy or they dreaded something. Or this what their smile looked like- a big grin etc. To feel the tension as the reader, I’d like to know why a character feels this way. The emotion essentially becomes the placeholder in the writers mind. For the mum and son example, I’d make an entire scene that shows Amy’s dread. Perhaps her driving becomes impacted by this. Perhaps this point of the story where she’s speculating her son to fail again for the hundredth time which ends her car in an accident or alarming circumstance. This whole time we could view Amy’s thoughts as she recalls her husband’s impulsive reactions against her son. Meanwhile the sons got a daunting scene of his own.
8:33: The scene I'm writing on now is about a guy telling two people that he called his 'friends' about a time when he and someone called Pollard, who is their superior in the construction site all three men work at, about the time when they were really good friends but there was a pretty women that got in the way of that. While it's not as clear as JK Rowling's, There is some conflicting emotions in the backstory as The MC is feeling happy to shower gifts to the beautiful women but a little later one, Pollard was getting promotion and getting better gifts, leaving the MC feeling jealous and bitter underneath his happiness. Is this good enough?
Inmy most recent seens written there is hardly any emotion or conflict at all *laughs* I'm a little bit pantsing a new beginng for a novel I've written sixteen years ago and toy around with diffrent ideas. I'm normally more of a planner, but even though emotion and description - conflict on a deeper level - is normally added in post when revising. I need the plot and the characterization straight first.
I was trying to use what I learned in this video to loosely plan out my next rough draft, and realized it made me add in more of the character’s desire/goal and fear into the story instead of a numb series of events :0 (Sorry if I was being Captain Obvious lol) This video has really good quality advice!
It does. A great way to get my writing juices flowing. Im learning to become an author by watching channels like these. And they are so helpful. It's not obvious to many people.
Never worry about being Captain Obvious when discussing. It’s like asking questions: Better ask and seem dumb than remain both silent and dumb. Not everyone will get it the first time.
Relating to your video regarding exciting exposition, wouldn't you regard those excerpts from Harry Potter to be expository? Going through my own manuscripts, I've been breaking up passages like that because I realize that it can be boring to readers. Thanks
Im back and I would say a simple thing I would do is how would a make a person ordering a burger with no onions Interesting.I would make the person create a mistake and forget the remove onions part.the person ordering the food gets furious and pulls a gun at the person because the forgot the no onions part.so just have characters make mistakes and miss understandings
@@quixotiq My apologies, I stand corrected. 🤐 So it seems I have been pronouncing incorrectly all of my life...😬 Just as well it doesn't come up in conversation very often.
So, this might be somewhat out there, but: Do you have any tips about using this principle for a quest-based game story (think Morrowind/Oblivion, Gothic)? Usually, those games use faction conflicts to create an incentive for the player to side with one or the other party - which often has them lauded as intricate or immersive/captivating, when it's actually kinda superficial. I have a hard time imagining a way to make this more intrinsic without being on the nose with basically just dialogue as a means for communication. Otherwise this might result in something like Horizon Zero Dawn with an (imo) well written story delivered mainly via exposition.
It goes back to the idea of internal conflict. Video games don't often give characters an internal voice/thoughts, but it can enhance a character when done well (Squall from FF8 comes to mind). An issue with Elder Scrolls is that the main character isn't really a character but a self-insert for the player. So essentially it's not the character who is facing conflicting emotions but (hopefully) the player. So ultimately it will come down to how the player feels about the story scenario and the choices they have to make. The writer would do best to convince the player that there are two great outcomes, but choosing one means damning the other.
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty I have never played any FF, so might be worth looking at. The current trend of doing it by having characters comment on everything isn't very subtle lol I was thinking of TES more in terms of overall conception. Gothic has an actual protagonist, but conflicts are designed in a very similar fashion. Even franchises with choice as the main selling point (looking at Bioware) do this. As a player, this makes me feel like I have to behave a certain way / side with a particular faction for an optimal outcome. I'm rather looking for a way to have a player sympathize with the protagonist on their journey through the story; without the involvement of any choice. Like, there's platforming, but the protagonist is afraid of heights - how to convey such a thing without bluntly saying it?
My opening scene is a mother telling her son about their home, which was overthrown by invaders. She instills hope in him that they will return home, but there is also a lot of grief towards what was lost
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty I think it is. Because I took my grades serious. Ever since i started school. And a bad grade meant my mom is not happy. So on top of working harder to correct for that grade and feeling useless at home, i would feel kicked while I'm down. Id rather mom ask me if i need a tutor. Or she help me. Just another perspective for that situation. Thanks for replying😊
@@opollitico Haha it's a pain in mine as well. I'm drafting a new novel and it's been up and down and waaaay down, but I keep plugging away. Best thing you can do
why would she be excited to pick up her son from school? This example just flatly states how characters are feeling, which is what you get with self published amazon authors.
Just in case anyone was wondering, yes he is pronouncing the word "Privet" correctly. It's a homophone of "private". Comes from the old English word "pryuet" and is a type of plant. Specifically, it's a specific kind of bush that looks pretty from the outside but what you find when you look under the leaves is quite toxic. This J.K. Rowling chick is quite the up-and-comer.
@@yehoshuabenavraham9706 The Cambridge Dictionary also says "Caesar" is pronounced "/ˈsiː.zɚ/" (like "seize ah") instead of "kaiser". I'm not impressed.
With the first example, the mom seemed cool as written the "boring" way. Once all the added stuff about having to ground her kid if he failed at class was inserted, she seemed like a total bitch. If your goal is to get the reader to hate the mom and side with the dad, sure, the revised version is the way to go.
I detest Hairy Potter precisely because it's so prosy. As Elmore Leonard said, prose is what fills the spaces between the interesting bits: action and dialog.
To anyone reading this, please repent and believe the gospel! There is a loving God who wants to know you and save you. Jesus died on the cross and resurrected so we can be forgiven of our sins and be saved. Please consider the state of your soul. Believe in Jesus and follow Him so you may have salvation. Life is short, please make the right choice today!
Question: When would it be a bad idea to use more tension? Like specifically in movies or TV. If there are any, that could be a video idea. One more question, more related to your other tension video (the one with the Joker thumbnail); when would it be best for a writer or screenwriter to release or relieve tension, and what are some ways to do so?
Too much tension can exhaust the audience. Usually when a particularly tense scene (or series of scenes) reaches its climax, we'll get a reaction scene where things cool down a bit. We might also spend time in a subplot or a less tense plotline before things ramp up again. If it helps, you might want to think of your plot as a series of peaks and valleys (in terms of tension)
This is kind of like an abstraction of the Robinson Crusoe "Credit, Debit" thing (as utilized by Bertie Wooster) - one of my favorite framings. I've never used it as literally as starting statements with "credit" or "debit," but I really like having the narration flip-flop between sentiments when the character is gauging possible ramifications for something that's just happened. It's great for characters who do lots of contingency planning in their head.
Rowling brilliantly conveys these conflicting emotions through a third element which glues the whole voice together: humor. It's something few writers dare to attempt, let alone succeed.
I'm afraid you've got it wrong. This isn't tension. Tension is not the oscillation of emotional beats that occurs as you progress through a Story. Tension is the feeling of uncertainty and anticipation that helps keep readers invested in what's about to happen next in a story. Exploring conflicting emotions can help build or maintain a reader's interest in a story but it is not the same as Tension. If you're looking to add Tension to a scene, you can either raise the stakes by making the consequences of failure more dire or you can introduce new obstacles to further complicate the chances of success.
It is just my opinion, but in your example, the first version is much better than the second. It is concise and clear. The things you add are unnecessary because in a real story you would already have exposed the reader to it prior to the paragraph. And if you hadn’t, the passages wouldn’t probably add much to the story and could be left out.
What most people doesn't seem to realize is that what makes us read a story, a novel is "human emotions and conflicts." Everything stems from it: the actions characters take and the decisions they make. That's what makes the plot unique and good. And appealing.
Spot on. If we care about the characters' motivations and attitudes, everything else gets enhanced.
Hey... DB... Some people are looking for you!
@@KutWrite Let them try 😝
@@KutWrite Does he have 6 fingers on his hand?
It's interesting that you say that, because I remember the old Skylark of Space series by E.E. "Doc" Smith. That space opera, IIRC, bled conflicting emotions all over the place... as applied to one- or two-dimensional stereotypical characters (and Marty Stus and Mary Sues, to boot).
Awzum tips! It actually makes sense just like dialogue, a good dialogue is with conflicting ideas. 😎👍
Absolutely. The best dialogue makes the characters (and the audience) uncomfortable.
Like The Joker in Dark Knight... He's right about his philosophies, but he still scares us.
This is such a great video. Thank you. I love seeing the text side by side, highlighted in color. Thanks again.
Glad the visuals helped!
This Harry Potter book you keep talking about sounds interesting. Might have to check it out one day.
You know, I wish people would give it a chance.
Another good video. I hope your subscriber count continues to climb; your writing advice is among the best on YT.
Wow, thanks man! Much appreciated. Be sure to mention the channel to other writers you run into, every little bit helps
Word to the wise: avoid dragging your pacing down by including conflicting introspection so often that it gets in the way of the actual Stuff Happening in the story.
In the most recent scene you've written, are there 2 conflicting emotions? Let us know!
In the last scene I wrote, there was dialogue of an argument between two family members. At first there was happiness and then there was anger. And I only did this instinctively 😅, but after this video, I will pay more attention to creating conflicting emotions. Thanks for this!
@@victorbryan5482 Yeah, it often happens instinctively, especially if you've been absorbing a lot written stories. Always helps to be more aware of what you're doing though--especially when it's time to edit
my idea for the storys beginning is the protagonists lives with his mom who is overly obsessive with him so the protagonist is extreamlt lonely and introverted with his main source of intertqinment being comics and female streamers his job is to inject soldiers with a specific drug and his mom was the person who invented it.well,The protagonist discovers that this injection he is giving soldiers at his job gives them superpowers and he gets so exited that he overdoses the injection.he thought something cool would happen but all he got was intense pain sweating and shaking.his mom being the person who invented the drug notices the symptoms in the protagonis from the injection and punishes him in a mentally abusive way for doing it.thats when his powers enabled from the injection where the more negative his emotions the more heat spews out his body.i have mostly been changing the superhero story around to make it descision based and not purely by chance.his reasons for making that descision is he thought he could finally get a girlfriend and friends if he had powers.
This videos is actually making me think more about how to ad conflicting emotions
Right now my idea is the protagonist may love his mom but he wants to move out and his mother doesn't like that setting up some mention and characterisation
Love your channel! Thank you so much for all your tips!
"[...]A character who is feeling contentment, but struggling with guilt..."
Excited/dreading something, depressed/hopeful, happy/nervous....
My character is at least one set of all these, in any given chapter. She is living the king of emotional roller coasters I tell you! 😂 What's really funny is every time I sit to write some of her story, I always think, "Man, she is a MESS." LOL
According to this video, it's the reason my readers say they want more! I don't often feel too proud of something I've done, but I'll give myself a big ol' pat on the back for this one! ☺
Great video, Brandon, and thanks for the confidence boost. 😉
I love your sense of humor😊
Hahah thanks! I try not to force jokes, but when they come naturally, I love to work in some humor
Thank you, for this.
Sure thing!
Isn't the second Harry Potter example compelling most of all because we feel injustice and unfairness?
When you're in the writing process, do you work this tension in from the start or do you go back and add it in later in your second or third drafts?
Thank you for this. I have a slow down moment for my main character and the back and forth dialogue was boring but With your advice, I was able to add internal conflict actually for the main character and build tension. It actually works.
Awesome! And yep, it's a great weapon to have in your arsenal
showing the internal conflict or internal struggle is the key to hook the reader and add tension...Im totally agree with you .
Yep, internal conflict is what gives a situation meaning. Gotta have it if you're writing fiction
Another great way to get tension is dramatic irony. If we as readers know something the characters don't know, that inherently creates tension. We're just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Let's say, for example, two characters are dating. Character A has been cheating on Character B and has decided to break up with them. But Character B has decided on that same night to propose to Character A. If we know both these pieces of information, an ordinary scene of them having dinner will be incredibly tense. Will Character A make their confession before Character B can propose? Or will Character B propose and Character A pretend to accept their proposal? Every line of dialogue, every action, will have a palpable subtext.
For me, this is the best way to create tension: 1) let the readers know something important that the characters don't; 2) place the characters in a situation where whether or not they find out this knowledge will have huge consequences.
Is it possible to use dramatic irony if the whole story is seen from the perspective of the main character? Or would there need to be at least some 3rd person perspective to generate this?
@@jooshm of course! For example: A is cheating, and has planned to break up, so from their perception they don't know what B will do, but in dialogue or expressions we are able to deduce that B may have planned something (in this case proposing) so we read how A is trying to break up with them but B seems to be more lovely and clingy than usual, this also generates tension from now being sure of what the other side (aka B) is planning on doing.
Another example would be adding a C character, that's the main POV and who knows both secrets, and for some reason or another just cannot tell either, and watches the scene unfold, kind of filling the spot of the readers in the moment
To anyone reading this, please repent and believe the gospel! There is a loving God who wants to know you and save you. Jesus died on the cross and resurrected so we can be forgiven of our sins and be saved. Please consider the state of your soul. Believe in Jesus and follow Him so you may have salvation. Life is short, please make the right choice today!
Great video. Easy and straight on point. You support what you are explaining with clarity and samples of writings in a way that is easy for anyone to understand. Keep up with this approach. No fluff, and it shows that you also take time to prepare your topic by gathering all these samples. After watching this video, I went back to my writings, and it is easy to see how I could make it better by creating some tension. ❤💯
Thank you for the kind words!
"Jack's chest heaved as he struggled for breath, each inhale sharp and shallow like a knife's edge. The walls of the room seemed to close in, the ceiling pressing down with an oppressive weight. Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead, stinging his eyes, blurring his vision. The air was thick, suffocating, and his pulse pounded in his ears, a frantic drumbeat driving him to the brink of panic. Desperation clawed at his throat as he fumbled for the door, his fingers trembling and slick with sweat. He had to get out. Now. He was allergic to thumbnails with open mouths."
It's already on the subtext that Jack is afraid and desperate, so instead of "desperation" you could say "a lump clawed at his throat..." to create other imageries to demonstrate the desperation
The absolute best UA-cam channel in the universe!
I think I ended up doing this unintentionally. It was done to flesh out a character's back story with her brother. Family dynamics can be tense on the best days!
I'm gonna pretend there's zero hyperbole in that opening line haha.
And yeah, I've unintentionally done this as well. It's one of those techniques you can learn intuitively, but it helps to be aware of it, especially when you're trying to spice up a bland scene
The joke about many people possibly not knowing about Harry Potter when clicking onto this video never gets old 😂
Hey, I also know little about HP, okay? lol
really? I find it contrived
That would be "privet" like the shrub. Not "private." You're welcome.
You said Private Drive and I'm almost positive it was because you wanted someone to call you out!! Love Ya :)
Haha actually it was a total whiff on my part. Need to work on my British pronunciations
"I don't know if you've heard of it"
The Entire World: You're a wizard Harry
Definitely one of the more useful pieces of writing advice I've heard. Extremely practical in that it doesn't require specific plot devices to make it work. As for the question of the day (2 years late), no, my most recent writing does not contain opposing emotions in every scene -- or if it does, it's an accident. I will definitely add this to my writing & editing process.
Peter S. Beagle is the master of conflicting emotions that build tension. The Last Unicorn will have conflicting emotions IN THE SAME SENTENCE and it feels natural and real. For example, Molly will describe her old boss and say something akin to, "He was a right wicked bastard, the poor child." She both sees the evil in his actions AND the sad child in his heart. In one sentence, we get a good picture of him and a deeper understanding for Molly's sharp observation skills along with her empathy.
SO useful, thank you! And every hardcore HP fan cringing at “private” drive 😂
Ooooo! It’s Privet Drive (as in privet bush). They’re very suburban English things, he lives in the suburbs 😀 I wasn’t sure if you were being ironic when you said people may have heard of HP books 😀 you minx.
Whoops--thanks for correcting me on that!
"So that's a very boring paragraph, you might even need to be hospitalized"
Me, who writes like this: ._.
Don’t feel bad. Now you know better, and you deserve a pat on the back for seeking out the information to become a better writer. ^_^
This is very interesting. I guess I'd always sort of believed that tension should have a payoff, or else the readers will get bored. Sort of a "cry wolf" syndrome. But in this video, there's that sort of "back and forth" between the emotions that plays nicely with a reader's expectations... almost a payoff of its own... in so many words.
I've discovered a new form of procrastination: watching these types of videos.
Thanks again for this video. You are a genius. Entry Wounds is excellent. Every single part of scene one both describes the situation and is worded so that I'm hanging on to see what happens next.
You are influential to my screenplay.
Thank you.
You genius.
Awesome! Glad you're enjoying Entry Wounds. Please leave an Amazon review when you finish--reviews help a ton!
BRILLIANT! ThanXXX a lot for sharing this gem, as tiny as it is, it really does make the difference . Your are my Saint Brandon!
In my most recent scene, several characters are pretending they are excited but obviously want to be somewhere else. Not sure if that counts.
Wanting to be elsewhere is conflict for sure. Subtle but legit
I subscribed to your channel and hope more people, especially those aspiring writers, will use your video tips to improve their writing. It is worth the cost of thousands of dollars in writing workshops. Thank you.
Thrilled to hear you're enjoying these videos. Thanks for the sub!
I think tension is better conveyed through sentence and paragraph construction. I don't like being told what's in a character's head.
I always thought that I am OVERUSING this technique 🤣
My characters ALWAYS have internal conflict. And I mean ALWAYS. Always think aboutt something opposite or possible contrary to what is happening to them. Or conflicting thoughts.
Never knew it is actually THAT useful and thoght it was a little too much whenever I do that. 🤣
The examples make these videos really useful. Short and sweet helps as well. Michael Connelly's books ,especially Bosch add tension to nearly every page. It's a constant battle, and not just the epic plot points. Every conversation has something he's trying to achieve. Not surprisingly, his books fly by.
Great vid. Thank you!
Thanks for watching!
What this really made me realize is jk rowlings sentences are almost all using “was” “had” or “that” so clearly I can use them. I don’t know why I was advised otherwise
Your videos should have more views
Thanks! Someday I'm gonna catch a break with the UA-cam algorithm and see a nice boost in numbers.
This video is a perfect showing how to do internal conflict the right way.
Thanks for the kind words! Glad it helped
Isn't this more about open loops, or unanswered "questions"? For instance wouldn't the first Harry Potter example still work without the contrasting emotions as long as we have the odd details that are unexplained that prompt our interest and stimulate us to lean in and want to know why? Excellent video by the way.
I was amused as a Brit and a gardener by how you pronounce "privet" 😆 Actually, it's logical. Great video!
This was really great and very helpful advice for me… thank you! 🙏🏽
Thanks for the tips. I'll try them out.
I'd like to offer some advice to you as a speaker, though. Mispronounced words can hurt your credibility. A privet hedge may provide privacy, but it's not pronounced like private.
Great video even if I still skipped through Potter reading. My eyes still glaze over. 😂
It would be better to show the emotions and the tension rather than simply stating that the character is happy or they dreaded something. Or this what their smile looked like- a big grin etc. To feel the tension as the reader, I’d like to know why a character feels this way. The emotion essentially becomes the placeholder in the writers mind. For the mum and son example, I’d make an entire scene that shows Amy’s dread. Perhaps her driving becomes impacted by this. Perhaps this point of the story where she’s speculating her son to fail again for the hundredth time which ends her car in an accident or alarming circumstance. This whole time we could view Amy’s thoughts as she recalls her husband’s impulsive reactions against her son.
Meanwhile the sons got a daunting scene of his own.
Great video. Some people call this technique Microtension which is a good word.
8:33: The scene I'm writing on now is about a guy telling two people that he called his 'friends' about a time when he and someone called Pollard, who is their superior in the construction site all three men work at, about the time when they were really good friends but there was a pretty women that got in the way of that.
While it's not as clear as JK Rowling's, There is some conflicting emotions in the backstory as The MC is feeling happy to shower gifts to the beautiful women but a little later one, Pollard was getting promotion and getting better gifts, leaving the MC feeling jealous and bitter underneath his happiness. Is this good enough?
Inmy most recent seens written there is hardly any emotion or conflict at all *laughs* I'm a little bit pantsing a new beginng for a novel I've written sixteen years ago and toy around with diffrent ideas. I'm normally more of a planner, but even though emotion and description - conflict on a deeper level - is normally added in post when revising. I need the plot and the characterization straight first.
I was trying to use what I learned in this video to loosely plan out my next rough draft, and realized it made me add in more of the character’s desire/goal and fear into the story instead of a numb series of events :0 (Sorry if I was being Captain Obvious lol)
This video has really good quality advice!
Awesome! Nice to see this is challenging your to make your story better
It does. A great way to get my writing juices flowing.
Im learning to become an author by watching channels like these. And they are so helpful. It's not obvious to many people.
Never worry about being Captain Obvious when discussing. It’s like asking questions: Better ask and seem dumb than remain both silent and dumb. Not everyone will get it the first time.
That one line I add to my story:
‘If his son died then he would be disappointed he died emo’
3:42 “I don't know if you've heard about it before” are u being sarcastic
But the reader will not get tired if there are 200 pages to go nonstop along such bumps?
Great video.
Thanks!
It's not Private Drive, it's Privet Drive. Pronounced Pri-vet
Relating to your video regarding exciting exposition, wouldn't you regard those excerpts from Harry Potter to be expository?
Going through my own manuscripts, I've been breaking up passages like that because I realize that it can be boring to readers. Thanks
@writerbrandonmcnulty
"Private Drive" had me 💀
3:40 haha!!
Someday that book is gonna catch on, I swear. Huge potential audience, just needs more exposure
@JFK i died hahah
Am going away right now to try this!
Im back and I would say a simple thing I would do is how would a make a person ordering a burger with no onions Interesting.I would make the person create a mistake and forget the remove onions part.the person ordering the food gets furious and pulls a gun at the person because the forgot the no onions part.so just have characters make mistakes and miss understandings
Hahah I love how over the top that sounds with the gun. Almost like something out of a Tarantino movie. And welcome back!
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Tarantino is one of my most favorite screen writers,I love the obsurdaty and over the top action his shows had
@@potatomanboooi3105 One of my favorite scenes is the early scene from Kill Bill 1 with the shootout in the kitchen. Shocked right out of my seat
The technique seems so logical! I learned yet another thing because of you!
Thrilled to hear it!
Thank you for your video, great advice. Also hyperbole, I would say it hi-per-bowl. Or is it different in American English? 😁
It's high-per-boll-ee in British, NZ and Australian English, btw
@@quixotiq My apologies, I stand corrected. 🤐 So it seems I have been pronouncing incorrectly all of my life...😬 Just as well it doesn't come up in conversation very often.
Thanks for this. The examples were so helpful ❤
So, this might be somewhat out there, but: Do you have any tips about using this principle for a quest-based game story (think Morrowind/Oblivion, Gothic)? Usually, those games use faction conflicts to create an incentive for the player to side with one or the other party - which often has them lauded as intricate or immersive/captivating, when it's actually kinda superficial. I have a hard time imagining a way to make this more intrinsic without being on the nose with basically just dialogue as a means for communication. Otherwise this might result in something like Horizon Zero Dawn with an (imo) well written story delivered mainly via exposition.
It goes back to the idea of internal conflict. Video games don't often give characters an internal voice/thoughts, but it can enhance a character when done well (Squall from FF8 comes to mind).
An issue with Elder Scrolls is that the main character isn't really a character but a self-insert for the player. So essentially it's not the character who is facing conflicting emotions but (hopefully) the player. So ultimately it will come down to how the player feels about the story scenario and the choices they have to make. The writer would do best to convince the player that there are two great outcomes, but choosing one means damning the other.
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty I have never played any FF, so might be worth looking at. The current trend of doing it by having characters comment on everything isn't very subtle lol
I was thinking of TES more in terms of overall conception. Gothic has an actual protagonist, but conflicts are designed in a very similar fashion. Even franchises with choice as the main selling point (looking at Bioware) do this. As a player, this makes me feel like I have to behave a certain way / side with a particular faction for an optimal outcome.
I'm rather looking for a way to have a player sympathize with the protagonist on their journey through the story; without the involvement of any choice. Like, there's platforming, but the protagonist is afraid of heights - how to convey such a thing without bluntly saying it?
Love your humor!
My novel could use a bit more conflict. Thanks for the tips!
Awesome video as always! Thanks for sharing :)
Thanks for another good one. How about a video on writing effective flashbacks?
My opening scene is a mother telling her son about their home, which was overthrown by invaders. She instills hope in him that they will return home, but there is also a lot of grief towards what was lost
Always a pleasant watch with good advice and enjoyed the sarcasm in this video. 😊
I love how the intro is literally a 2015 destiny youtuber intro 😊
I generally enjoy your videos, but this one has really given me something to think about - thanks!
Amazing advice including conflicting emotions
I like the examples you used in this video.
Isn't a bad grade punishment enough tho😂
Haha never enough
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty
I think it is. Because I took my grades serious. Ever since i started school. And a bad grade meant my mom is not happy. So on top of working harder to correct for that grade and feeling useless at home, i would feel kicked while I'm down.
Id rather mom ask me if i need a tutor. Or she help me.
Just another perspective for that situation. Thanks for replying😊
@@malikapollard3618 Oh I get what you're saying now... And happy to reply! Best of luck with your writing
this is SO useful
Thanks! How the novel coming btw?
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty Dgmw - I love writing, but it's a glorious pain in the backside atm!! Haha
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty this video helped immensely though!!
@@opollitico Haha it's a pain in mine as well. I'm drafting a new novel and it's been up and down and waaaay down, but I keep plugging away. Best thing you can do
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty exactly, it's the only thing we can do!!
why would she be excited to pick up her son from school? This example just flatly states how characters are feeling, which is what you get with self published amazon authors.
Just in case anyone was wondering, yes he is pronouncing the word "Privet" correctly. It's a homophone of "private". Comes from the old English word "pryuet" and is a type of plant. Specifically, it's a specific kind of bush that looks pretty from the outside but what you find when you look under the leaves is quite toxic. This J.K. Rowling chick is quite the up-and-comer.
The Cambridge Dictionary claims otherwise. Their pronunciation of “privet,” as in the shrub, rhymes with “trivet.”
@@yehoshuabenavraham9706 The Cambridge Dictionary also says "Caesar" is pronounced "/ˈsiː.zɚ/" (like "seize ah") instead of "kaiser". I'm not impressed.
It isn't pronounced "private", it is pronounced "prih-vet".
With the first example, the mom seemed cool as written the "boring" way. Once all the added stuff about having to ground her kid if he failed at class was inserted, she seemed like a total bitch. If your goal is to get the reader to hate the mom and side with the dad, sure, the revised version is the way to go.
I detest Hairy Potter precisely because it's so prosy. As Elmore Leonard said, prose is what fills the spaces between the interesting bits: action and dialog.
You overuse your hands when you speak. Its distracting.
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Question: When would it be a bad idea to use more tension? Like specifically in movies or TV.
If there are any, that could be a video idea.
One more question, more related to your other tension video (the one with the Joker thumbnail); when would it be best
for a writer or screenwriter to release or relieve tension, and what are some ways to do so?
Too much tension can exhaust the audience. Usually when a particularly tense scene (or series of scenes) reaches its climax, we'll get a reaction scene where things cool down a bit. We might also spend time in a subplot or a less tense plotline before things ramp up again.
If it helps, you might want to think of your plot as a series of peaks and valleys (in terms of tension)
This is kind of like an abstraction of the Robinson Crusoe "Credit, Debit" thing (as utilized by Bertie Wooster) - one of my favorite framings. I've never used it as literally as starting statements with "credit" or "debit," but I really like having the narration flip-flop between sentiments when the character is gauging possible ramifications for something that's just happened. It's great for characters who do lots of contingency planning in their head.
Rowling brilliantly conveys these conflicting emotions through a third element which glues the whole voice together: humor. It's something few writers dare to attempt, let alone succeed.
I'm afraid you've got it wrong. This isn't tension. Tension is not the oscillation of emotional beats that occurs as you progress through a Story. Tension is the feeling of uncertainty and anticipation that helps keep readers invested in what's about to happen next in a story. Exploring conflicting emotions can help build or maintain a reader's interest in a story but it is not the same as Tension.
If you're looking to add Tension to a scene, you can either raise the stakes by making the consequences of failure more dire or you can introduce new obstacles to further complicate the chances of success.
Similarly with dialogues, as you mentioned in another video. There has to be some conflict or some kind of mutual struggle in the dialogue.
This Harry Podder book (sp?) sounds interesting. I ought to give it a try.
It's not clear why Amy is excited to pick up her son. The dread was explained. The excitement seemed out of place. Both emotions need to be justified.
Great advice over all!
It is just my opinion, but in your example, the first version is much better than the second. It is concise and clear. The things you add are unnecessary because in a real story you would already have exposed the reader to it prior to the paragraph. And if you hadn’t, the passages wouldn’t probably add much to the story and could be left out.
Thanks for the cheat code.
Excellent!!!
Thanks!