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I keep thinking I have no time to get into a relationship with anyone.. for many years I date occasionally, once maybe twice a person ..and then I find no value in having that person in my life as a date or as a boyfriend. I have many activities that keep me busy most evenings of the week and I have to move away from my activities in order to meet somebody What do you think, am I avoiding a relationship anywhere anyhow? I dated someone for one year and split up with him about seven times and every time I split up, someone asked me do you think he’s a narcissist? I had no idea what a narcissist was, but now I am an expert, and I tend to view most guys I meet as either boring or narcissist. Help …😮
9:30 I love your "relationship iceberg" graphic. When I meet someone, I'm observing and watching for all four of those categories: Emotional maturity, Compatible lifestyles (for blending), Shared values, Chemistry. Additionally, I'm feeling out and observing our dynamics together, how we communicate (flow and easy and thorough, or pulling teeth), my responses and reactions to the person, and what the other person is intrinsically and naturally motivated to do and not do (such as amount of contact and desire to know me and be known by me). Also, is there some sophistication in thinking abilities, is there contemplation and reflection, self-knowledge, have many issues been worked through, can we relate to each other, do they understand nuance... It really narrows down options. LOL.
He spells his name Jonathon and what is with that comment about me being on meds? Shaming mental illness? We don’t do that. I’m just a person living their life and I put myself out there aware that I would receive judgement. I’m learning and earnestly asking for advice so that I can change. My mental health/fitness is none of your business!✌️
I have a friend with anxious attachment and she has no problem getting dates or holding down relationships. Even though she drives the men nuts they never want to leave. And i don't have the same luck. Anything is possible 😂
@@JonathonAslayyes, “humans” suffer. We’ve all been hurt and it’s awful for BOTH sexes, not one more than the other. I’m tired of hearing that women need to be more accommodating to men because they suffer more than women do!
Claire you are VERY brave! I am proud of you for committing to your time with Jonathan. Keep playing at a full capacity seeking your way out! I am sorry for then pain of your experiences but you can work your way out and you ARE tonight was a deep hard lesson and you will grow. Deep breaths!!
I find it hard dating a man over 50 who doesn't own a house since I own a house especially if he is not recently divorced. Suppose we got married, would he be entitled to half of my house in the event of a divorce? That's too risky as I have made so sacrifices to own my own including selling most of my jewellery in the early days of purchasing my home. I also think men over 55 should be doing some form of exercise and eat somewhat healthy so that we can enjoy our golden years together
Your hot seat guest Claire is drama driven. She needs to take a breather and work within before dating. Setting personal boundaries is self love. She needs work interior before to accept another date/
@@ClaireHanlon I saw both your hot seat videos. You're so interesting and you seem really sincere and forthright. Plus funny. Let's meet for coffee! LOL
I dated someone for one year and broke up with him seven times because he was quite disgusting to me and people used to ask me do you think he’s a narcissist do you think he’s a narcissist and I answered I have no idea/I have become an expert on narcissism and find a very difficultlike most men who I might even be attracted to initially, but then I speak with them and I see they have those traits that visited me with my last boyfriend which was three years ago
That narcissist relationship was only for one year with a break up seven times by me and then he always coax me back in/I realize I’ve had a tendency since I’m single after 25 year marriage and I’m single along time, then I tend to choose that kind of personalityor a passive aggressive personality, which is somewhat a kitten to narcissism/what do you think?
I keep thinking I have no time to get into a relationship with anyone.. for many years I date occasionally, once maybe twice a person ..and then I find no value in having that person in my life as a date or as a boyfriend. I have many activities that keep me busy most evenings of the week and I have to move away from my activities in order to meet somebody What do you think, am I avoiding a relationship anywhere anyhow?
What are your thoughts on women who say a man who wants you will give you princess treatment right upfront. I’m not saying it’s wrong at all to have expectations of wanting to be treated well and on occasion a spa day or a vacation when they are in a relationship or married especially if the woman loves him and reciprocates to him. Is it a turn off to older men who are financially stable for women of any age to say they deserve to be treated like a princess right off the bat without investing any time into a relationship unless women are looking for a sugar daddy and not a husband?
Wow...Claire is all over the place with being hard to pin down ! I dont think she knows who she is or what she wants. I watched your reactions to her, to learn how not to get sucked into that personality.
You can’t put this down as a dealbreaker because a lot of the time you don’t even know of a person is an avoidant and until you get in neck deep in the relationship and find out what a jerk they are! So omit this one I think Also, people lie about Ex’s…that is a given..”we just lost interest”…yeah right…what are your thoughts?
Question: I had the same question as that other person. So if someone you’re dating, keeps being in touch with their ex-girlfriends, via emails AND is on online Dating sites stating he “can’t figure how to get this off my computer…” should I basically use a boundary and say hey no online profiles and no ex-girlfriend communication…Or I’m outa here…Or is that too harsh? You basically tell this woman it’s OK to for her do that with a “ …friend”? I have had this problem in the past and I am not sure how to deal with it. it turned out he was cheating and in the future how do I correctly approach this concern?
@@gayleneflower398 I can help give you guidance on how to address dating so you deal with this kind of BS on your terms and let your actions speak for you (men respect actions, not endless words about boundaries and ultimatums that women don’t honor). Let me know!
@@gayleneflower398 That's a deal breaker for me. I have learned the hard way, and very recently I finally got it to my core, that when you meet people, they are doing what they want to do. It's not my job to explain morals and ethics and how to have a loyal relationship. (It's my childhood trauma that has caused me to be an over-explainer, and to try to teach people I care about--or potential partners and friends--how to be emotionally-mature, how to grow up etc.) I mean, you could mention, but if you have to explain why it's disrespectful, that's a bad sign, a red flag.
FREE Discovery Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove
How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/
Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com
The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/
Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations
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Take a break and work on yourself. Try to heal and be happy on your own for a little while. This helped me. ❤
Thank You!
Yes
agree he still seems sad about his breakup with marie.
I keep thinking I have no time to get into a relationship with anyone.. for many years I date occasionally, once maybe twice a person ..and then I find no value in having that person in my life as a date or as a boyfriend.
I have many activities that keep me busy most evenings of the week and I have to move away from my activities in order to meet somebody
What do you think, am I avoiding a relationship anywhere anyhow?
I dated someone for one year and split up with him about seven times and every time I split up, someone asked me do you think he’s a narcissist? I had no idea what a narcissist was, but now I am an expert, and I tend to view most guys I meet as either boring or narcissist.
Help …😮
9:30 I love your "relationship iceberg" graphic. When I meet someone, I'm observing and watching for all four of those categories: Emotional maturity, Compatible lifestyles (for blending), Shared values, Chemistry.
Additionally, I'm feeling out and observing our dynamics together, how we communicate (flow and easy and thorough, or pulling teeth), my responses and reactions to the person, and what the other person is intrinsically and naturally motivated to do and not do (such as amount of contact and desire to know me and be known by me). Also, is there some sophistication in thinking abilities, is there contemplation and reflection, self-knowledge, have many issues been worked through, can we relate to each other, do they understand nuance...
It really narrows down options. LOL.
Not sure if your caller was on some kind of meds, but kudos to you Jonathan for your patience
He spells his name Jonathon and what is with that comment about me being on meds? Shaming mental illness? We don’t do that. I’m just a person living their life and I put myself out there aware that I would receive judgement. I’m learning and earnestly asking for advice so that I can change. My mental health/fitness is none of your business!✌️
I Could NEVER Call myself a Slut and think I'm ready to Date.. smh
🙏
@@m.d.7688 I could and I did!
@@m.d.7688 just to clarify I said I consider myself an ethical slut. It’s from the book The Ethical Slut by Dossie Eason and Janet Hardy✌️❤️
I have a friend with anxious attachment and she has no problem getting dates or holding down relationships. Even though she drives the men nuts they never want to leave. And i don't have the same luck. Anything is possible 😂
It’s not luck
Maybe she’s not an anxious 🤔
My deceased husband told me once that women don't realize men suffer from breakups probably harder than women do....
I believe humans suffer Indeed
I agree ❤
@@JonathonAslayyes, “humans” suffer. We’ve all been hurt and it’s awful for BOTH sexes, not one more than the other. I’m tired of hearing that women need to be more accommodating to men because they suffer more than women do!
May be they like to suffer
Thank you, Jonathon!!
You're very welcome Linda 🙏
My relationship man wasn’t into too much “work done “ as well, he appreciated natural beauty. Love that mindset.
Thanks for sharing!!
Claire you are VERY brave! I am proud of you for committing to your time with Jonathan. Keep playing at a full capacity seeking your way out! I am sorry for then pain of your experiences but you can work your way out and you ARE tonight was a deep hard lesson and you will grow. Deep breaths!!
@@tamarawolverton3895 Thank You so much, Friend! Peace and Love!💗
Thank you so much!
@@JonathonAslay Thanks again Jonathon I truly appreciate your input and insight!
I find it hard dating a man over 50 who doesn't own a house since I own a house especially if he is not recently divorced. Suppose we got married, would he be entitled to half of my house in the event of a divorce? That's too risky as I have made so sacrifices to own my own including selling most of my jewellery in the early days of purchasing my home. I also think men over 55 should be doing some form of exercise and eat somewhat healthy so that we can enjoy our golden years together
Been there Jonathon. I’m a people pleaser.
Your hot seat guest Claire is drama driven. She needs to take a breather and work within before dating. Setting personal boundaries is self love. She needs work interior before to accept another date/
Thank You!
Do I know you? JK
Inner work is an ongoing process
@@JonathonAslay Healing really is a lifelong thing❤️
@@ClaireHanlon I saw both your hot seat videos. You're so interesting and you seem really sincere and forthright. Plus funny. Let's meet for coffee! LOL
Replay…Good Video and learning experience as usual. Thank You 😊
Glad you enjoyed it
Appreciate Claire’s honesty ⭐️
JA gave great advice !!! Many blessings Claire .. you got this lady 💪💛
Thank you so much!
@@staceywood7800 Thank you I practice radical transparency on purpose 💗
I dated someone for one year and broke up with him seven times because he was quite disgusting to me and people used to ask me do you think he’s a narcissist do you think he’s a narcissist and I answered I have no idea/I have become an expert on narcissism and find a very difficultlike most men who I might even be attracted to initially, but then I speak with them and I see they have those traits that visited me with my last boyfriend which was three years ago
That narcissist relationship was only for one year with a break up seven times by me and then he always coax me back in/I realize I’ve had a tendency since I’m single after 25 year marriage and I’m single along time, then I tend to choose that kind of personalityor a passive aggressive personality, which is somewhat a kitten to narcissism/what do you think?
Question everyone I talk to always ask about my past relationships. I don’t really want to talk about past relationships I just want to move forward.
Relate
We are all basically willing participants...an occasional one night stand happens honestly some of them are very enjoyable...
Yes
I keep thinking I have no time to get into a relationship with anyone.. for many years I date occasionally, once maybe twice a person ..and then I find no value in having that person in my life as a date or as a boyfriend.
I have many activities that keep me busy most evenings of the week and I have to move away from my activities in order to meet somebody
What do you think, am I avoiding a relationship anywhere anyhow?
Yes moods change
Thank you for the info
You bet
What are your thoughts on women who say a man who wants you will give you princess treatment right upfront. I’m not saying it’s wrong at all to have expectations of wanting to be treated well and on occasion a spa day or a vacation when they are in a relationship or married especially if the woman loves him and reciprocates to him. Is it a turn off to older men who are financially stable for women of any age to say they deserve to be treated like a princess right off the bat without investing any time into a relationship unless women are looking for a sugar daddy and not a husband?
Just remember a strong desire for a stranger is often based on lust disguised as romance
Wow...Claire is all over the place with being hard to pin down ! I dont think she knows who she is or what she wants. I watched your reactions to her, to learn how not to get sucked into that personality.
@@debram7183 Peace and Love! No one is my enemy! Everyone deserves to be happy!💗
You can’t put this down as a dealbreaker because a lot of the time you don’t even know of a person is an avoidant and until you get in neck deep in the relationship and find out what a jerk they are! So omit this one I think
Also, people lie about Ex’s…that is a given..”we just lost interest”…yeah right…what are your thoughts?
Question: I had the same question as that other person. So if someone you’re dating, keeps being in touch with their ex-girlfriends, via emails AND is on online Dating sites
stating he “can’t figure how to get this off my computer…” should I basically use a boundary and say hey no online profiles and no ex-girlfriend communication…Or I’m outa here…Or is that too harsh? You basically tell this woman it’s OK to for her do that with a “ …friend”? I have had this problem in the past and I am not sure how to deal with it. it turned out he was cheating and in the future how do I correctly approach this concern?
Noted
@@gayleneflower398 I can help give you guidance on how to address dating so you deal with this kind of BS on your terms and let your actions speak for you (men respect actions, not endless words about boundaries and ultimatums that women don’t honor). Let me know!
@@gayleneflower398 That's a deal breaker for me. I have learned the hard way, and very recently I finally got it to my core, that when you meet people, they are doing what they want to do. It's not my job to explain morals and ethics and how to have a loyal relationship. (It's my childhood trauma that has caused me to be an over-explainer, and to try to teach people I care about--or potential partners and friends--how to be emotionally-mature, how to grow up etc.)
I mean, you could mention, but if you have to explain why it's disrespectful, that's a bad sign, a red flag.
Claire is crazy, but I love her XD
Awe...
Thank You! People have been calling me Crazy Claire my whole life so I get it. I love you back! Peace !
Is this order in order of priority for men or just a list of numbers?
A list
I relate!!!
Yes
I watch 2nd act TV. It's very good.
Yes
I relate
👍🏼
JA re: plastic surgery comment. I noticed you didn't say those fake big butts, you know the song you sometimes sing.😆
Oh... I forgot 🙃 😁
I agree re plastic surgery
Duck lips
LMAO… WWIII😅
Lol 😆
Pages.
Calming energy. My wonderful gentleman.
Hug.
❤
Caught the end of your live, good information but you seemed cranky, moody and a bit smug tonight.
I was a bit tired.
yes he is not a robot, a human being dealing with stuff.
I can understand why!
@@mynameisMeltabsolutely ❤
Sorry.. no filter, I’m ovulating! Lol
I relate