Also wanted to make a cool announcement!!! If you have Hulu, go watch the new docu-series “Mormon No More.” I am in it!! They featured a couple of my TikTok videos in two episodes! I just finished episode one and it is SO good. Highly recommend it!!
Will give that one a watch, currently watching the Netflix documentary "Keep Sweet, Love and Obey" about the FLDS. Truly sad that there are so many indoctrinated persons which religion has harmed so much.
I wore a tank top to Walmart recently for the first time. I was observing the people around me to see if I got any extra attention for having my shoulders showing. Nope. No one cares. Isn't that nice?
unless the woman is overtly obviously trying to tempt the man such as in the song "don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me" where she admittedly is trying to steal someone's boyfriend away, but still the man can choose to say no to her like joseph in the bible did, even running away from potipher's wife who wanted him to lie with her and commit adultery. Yes, men have the responsibility to control themselves no matter what is thrown at them just like women do.
This happens in non Mormon Christianity too-basically my whole teenage years I got told that 'we made it so difficult for the men' when we wore shorts or tank tops. Basically being put on a huge guilt trip for simply having a female body. Guys are gonna think what they think, and that's just natural. The only problem I see with that is if they act on it in a way that is not welcomed by the woman.
When I got my tattoo my father in law said “I don’t believe in this ! I don’t agree ! Your body is a temple” my ex Mormon husband “dad ? But the temple is painted and has art added to make it look nicer” 🤣🤣
Exactly! And if the Mormon of the hereafter is correct we will be resurrected without our tattoos. Since this life in mortality is just a blink of eternity give the critics a blink and say that is how long the tattoos will last...not enough time to worry about.
@@marktinney5794 I'm a senior citizen and have no tattoos yet. I'm strongly considering it though. Two of my sons have "You are my sunshine" in Braille on their arms. It's in honor of my sweet grandmother whom they and I loved dearly. She became blind and learned Braille in her eighties!
My dad used to rub my leg when I went to my parents’ house to check if I was wearing garments. It made me uncomfortable to the point of avoiding him. He often accused me of not wearing them even when I did. Garments are sized for the waist. Because I have long legs, they didn’t go to my knees like they were supposed to. I always thought it was unfair for him to try to make me feel guilt for something I had no control of. I’m so happy that’s all behind me.
So that's why the mormons stopped showing up at our door as soon as my very long haired male partner opened the door for them once? His hair is down to the middle of his back and he has a beard.
@@DieAlteistwiederda I have no beard and have gynecomastia. I identify as male but have very long hair and several children. I confuse Mormons beyond belief.
This is why women in Utah are CONSTANTLY wearing work out clothes even when they're not working out-- it's the only time they can show off their body and not wear garments but still look socially acceptable.
Even the little tricks they pull to get psst the rules are collectively stupid 😅 Im not blaming them individually because I understand the desperation, but come on, the hypocrisy is obvious
As someone who used to size women for bras in Utah, sizing Mormons was the worst. At least the ones who wear their bras over their garments. They would always be difficult because the bras never fit right. It was so annoying. And it was always my fault they didn't fit right.
now they say you can put the bra under your undershirt . it helps that the marks are now printed on instead of stichedon. putting it on over is a holdover from corset wearing
@@Whatever-fe7xn that’s not nice. Clearly, it’s a secondary language. And I think you know that. If you do not understand the sentiment the person was communicating, I seriously doubt your knowledge of English, but am happy to translate for you.
I recently dyed my hair pink/purple for the first time and my mormon mother insinuated that men were staring at me more (when they weren't) because only " fun girls " dye their hair like that. I always thought this weird judgment for hair color was just my family, but I've started to learn it's kinda just part of mormonism, and I genuinely don't get why. Especially this weird suggestion that you're more open to being promiscuous because of your hair color.
Hi! My hair is fuchsia. I'm 69 years old. I've had it this colour for 4 years and I can't see me ever stopping with this colour. I don't do it so men will look at me. My promiscuous days are behind me; and when I was, my hair was its natural colour. You know why I did it? Because it's just hair and it's fun. Fun is good. So hang in there!
To me sounds like uneducated people. I have done fun colors on my daughter and have never had anyone say anything derogatory at me or her. You just were in a place where people were immature in their faith. I hear what your saying and have never experienced any of these things that you have experienced. Very strange don't know what church you were actually in.
When your hair is the color of a highlighter pen, it will naturally draw more attention. Our eyes tend to go to bright colors...that goes for men or women.
Speaking of how you wear your garments when I was a little girl growing up my convert neighbor from the Netherlands wore the old long sleeved long leg underwear under her dresses well of course the sleeves of the dresses were long but you still see the sleeves of the underwear the garments showing and her nylons you could see the long legs of the Garment showing through her nylons she was out of the old school and felt that that's where it's only God's way to where the old style I bet she had a hard time in finding them who knows but it was kind of ridiculous that you could see them you don't have to advertise but I guess that's what they want you to do anyway let your religion show when your garment show
I stared having my faith crisis about a week ago and found your 10 things videos for those in a faith crisis and have to thank you sooooo much because it kept me from a flood of tears I was having and let me know things get better. Been bingeing you channel since. Thanks so much!!
I truly hope that you are able to find the support you need during this time. If I may recommend "Recovering from religion", they are an excellent source of help for all sort of religious trauma, and you don't need to be an atheist to get the help you need.
As a member, I always thought it was weird that garment tops were not available as tank tops designs, especially for men. Living in the Southeastern United States where it is hot and humid, garments were not just annoying, they were uncomfortable, and I always felt sick during the summer, because I am kind of heat sensitive. Having a tank top design would have been very welcoming. Of course that doesn't happen, because design choices are always made by old men who live in Utah, and make decisions based on what they find acceptable living in Utah's climate.
John Jones-Don't you know that wearing a tank top would show your arm-pit hair and drive the girls wild and into waves of impure thoughts? Of course I'm joking BUT they would say that to you. If women can't show their shoulders and have to suffer in the heat then so do you guys!
@@annehersey9895 Of course I know this. As an Ex-Mormon, I can say that I have been constantly bombarded by desirous women who lustfully lost it over my armpit hair. It's a blessing and a curse to have such sexy armpit hair.
I have been out of the church for 9 years now. And I still have all sorts of internalized shame issues. In fact, I just got back from the hospital with anti-anxiety pills because I have been having troubling thoughts due to moral scrupulosity that developed from day 1 of my existence due to the Mormon church’s control.
My best friend married a Mormon man and she’s wasn’t LDS at the time. Her hair was bright blue at her wedding and had several visible tattoos. His side of the family had a few things to say about that, not to her face of course.
I gotta say, the best part of leaving the church (over 15 years ago) was not being told how to dress, talk, act, etc. They LOVE to tell other people how to live their lives. Basically, tyranny. Not just the leadership, anyone who likes giving unsolicited advice. After my divorce, my sis-in-law kept harping about me getting married again and having kids. I told her I'd get married again when I want to stop getting laid. She hasn't brought it up since.
If a long beard presents the appearance of evil, I have this question: Was Jesus not often depicted wearing a long beard????? Also, in the 60's and 70's, when wearing long hair became the fashion for men, I've often heard christian people condemn men for wearing long hair. The same was true with my parents. One day, I held up a picture of Jesus and asked them about Jesus wearing long hair and said, 'So, Jesus was a hippie??????!!!!! There was silence in the room because they were speechless!!!!
As an Australian former Mormon - we were definitely taught about dress standards as children, and if a woman (eg an investigator) attended Sunday meetings wearing a pair of trousers, we stared, appalled. I grew up with the notion that it was not okay for even children to wear sleeveless clothes. I remember a couple of times Melchizedek priesthood holders coming to church wearing black shirts and the shock felt by ward members was almost palpable. My father used to get upset when my younger brother (pre aged 12) wore a pale blue shirt to church instead of a white shirt and some church members only ever dressed their little boys in white shirts to church, to prepare them for when they were old enough to get the priesthood. My parents argued about my brother wearing a pale blue rather than white shirt to church. For a period of time there was a woman in one of my wards who was a bit different to most women. Her hair was brown or black (so not brightly coloured) and her clothing modest, but she wore a bit more makeup than other women and just had a vibe about her that caused her to stand out. Perhaps her personality came into that as well. She was ostracized at church for being different, yet it was difficult to put your finger on just what about her made her stand out. The point of all these examples is that it is not just wards in Utah or in the USA where members are held to high standards of modesty and conformity in their appearance. I remember being aghast when, in my early twenties, I heard a conversation between older women from well-respected church families discussing how to get away with wearing fashionable shorter skirts (by wearing smaller garments) so they could technically obey the rules about wearing your garments while still appearing fashionable. I could not understand this attitude in these women who were held in high-esteem by church members (and they knew it). My understanding was that garment bottoms were to be worn with the leg mark over or about the knee, so while these women were wearing their garments, they were not wearing them properly. It confused me that they got away with it, but I guess it was like the word of wisdom where it was okay to only obey part of it. Oh, and I remember when I was younger it was not okay to wear a pair of jeans into the chapel (the part of the building where sacrament was held) even on a weekday, eg for a choir practice on a Saturday. Things may have changed in the church, I don't know, but the rules and standards and judgements exerted by the mormon church and it's members caused people to feel judged and unworthy, and those feelings and hurts don't just go away because things may have changed a bit now.
I'm in the American midwest , I know women who still do the garment shorter trick. my husband grew up with the white shirt expectation too. now he wears grey or blue because i've convinced him that God doesn't care the color of his shirt and reminded him 1 samuel 16:7 But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart
2:31 The fashions of the world will change, but the Lord's standards will not change. Also the Mormon church: what is considered "extreme" will vary from time to time and culture to culture. Fun aside...so if we take the "context" thing at face value, wouldn't it be possible to dress too modestly at show too little skin lol???
Elder Bednar gave a talk about obeying the prophet regarding only a single earring. His example was a young man who broke off a relationship with a girl who had double piercing. The young man never said anything to her about it. He was seeing if she would "obey" the prophet. Bednar expressed that he did the right thing. I call that bullshit. The young man was a control freak. She is the lucky one.
This stuff drives me CRAZY!!! Why is all the responsibility put upon the Young Women or Women for what the Young Men or Men are thinking?! It’s NOT the Young Women/Women’s responsibility!!! So insane. Thank you for sharing this. They have even added more stipulations since I left. Wow! Crazy.
The whole concept of sin as it appears in modern Christianity is ridiculous. There is only one sin: treating people like objects. Full stop. (Grandma used to say wasting food was a sin, so I guess that first runner up)
Biggest thing for me is the beard. I’m Filipino and not a lot of Filipinos have beards. However, because my grandfather was of different race, I got some of his physical traits. Shaving for me has been very hard cause of skin irritation but because of these controlling acts, I am forced to be uncomfortable for their standards.
So don’t be - and if anyone criticises tell them it’s a medical thing, if you don’t tell them it’s none of their beeswax first. Jesus…does not care about your beard
@@DevoShire Exactly Devo! Because Jesus most certainly had a beard himself which is why early mormons all had beards! You idea is the right one, just say you have a medical condition. If it's trimmed and neat AND if you pay your tithing of cours then there shouldn't be a problem !
At an 8th grade school dance, I wore this cute sleeveless dress (with a shrug to cover my shoulders, which I took off when I got there because it was ugly as hell). When I saw a girl from my ward at the dance, I was SO scared she would see my exposed shoulders and tell her mom, who would tell my mom and I would get in trouble. I spent most of the dance hiding from her 😭
I used to have vibrant purple hair, I dyed my hair back to brown (my natural color) and some leaders gave me “compliments” and congratulated me about it. Made me feel awful
As someone with horrible intrusive thoughts (possibly stemming from trauma but idk) the churches belief in "thought crimes" has always given me massive anxiety.
@@jeannetteknight7375 Yeah but Im pretty sure its been misinterpreted-so many of Jesus quotes sound really wierd and totally unfair which are at complete odds with his actions and personality. I do still embrace a very tolerant, open minded form of Christianity which values true individual choice, so if anything in the bible doesnt make sense to me I dont act on it or incorporate it into my beliefs
Thank you so much for bringing this all up and specifically about women. Im a woman, and I have constantly been criticized about my dress and hair color. I have some serious health issues, so I’m really grateful that I had an excuse to not go on a mission. And the fear is real. I swear half of my anxiety and panic attacks are related to the church
I saw a Mormon boy for a few months in my twenties. I had very short blue hair and wore a lot of sleeveless tank tops. His mother literally called me a succubus.
I can't imagine wearing a bra over a shirt everyday for the rest of my life. Shirt then bra then another shirt. And the shirt part of the garments looks loose which makes it even worse bc then the fabric is going to be bunching up and moving around under your bra
Can I just say that my non-Mormon parents, taught me to dress much like your church believes. Of course, I’m 64, and times are different. Tattoo were a hard pass. At 50ish, I got a nose piercing, to go with my many ear piercings. I tried to hide it from Mom, 😅 I was still scared! She loved it! ❤ Oddly, much of what you say reminds me of very conservative Christian churches. Such interesting content! This’ll
I developed rather early when I was a teenager and by the time I was 14 I had D cups. I remember I wore a shirt that was light, not see through, covered my shoulders, and when I wore it my step mom made a dramatic show of fainting then getting up and screaming that my shirt was inappropriate and my dad walked in to see what the commotion was, and promptly agreed. Now my step sister wasn't so lucky in development, so she was able to get away with clothing I wasn't, she even was allowed to wear a tankini while I was not. Yeah, so I had to be subject to more ridicule simply because I developed early and was treated like I had full control over that.
When I was working for the State of Utah in a SL office, my supervisor called me into his office. I must preface this with the times-late 1970's and I'm a non-mormon. I was wearing a tank top (not spaghetti strap or razorback, a regular tank that had pretty wide arm/strap area wearing it with a good bra). My boss-(a guy I really liked and bishop in the church) indicated I should wear a top that covered my shoulders. As a navtive of San Diego, I was shocked-tank tops were almost like a uniform if worn with the right slacks or skirts because of the hot weather. I let him know that I thought that if shoulders bothered someone, that was their problem not mine and since I wasn't showing even a bit of cleavage I would keep wearing it. Also on my side is a different female supervisor wore the same type of tank top as I was almost every single day. Nothing more was said but as a non Mormon, I was absolutely shocked that something like shoulders should be a big deal. As I said, coming from SoCal, I also wore a lot of dresses to work BUT they were definitely mini dresses-I was in my early 20's from SoCal so that's what I had but nothing was ever said about that.
Hearing you say this now, I am just... wow. I joined when I was about 21 and it was 'drilled' into me that 'leggings and tights are not an extension of your dress.' I started off with an eating disorder and ended up with full blown body dysmorphia. I would always wear cardigans, dresses, and leggings, so every part of my body was covered. I didn't want anybody to be able to see any part of my body seen. It was horrible. The only thing I rebelled against was my hair, I continued to dye my hair bright colors (I dyed my hair pink after the same person told me that I shouldn't really be doing that, kind of a nope you can't tell me what to do!) I also already had a ton of piercings and a few tattoos and I didn't take them out. It was funny when church leaders would tell the YSA about piercings and I would just cover my ears, tongue, and belly button.
Here’s my horror story: I performed in a musical in high school. My parent in a prominent leadership position felt it necessary to announce I was getting a haircut after the last performance. 😄
Once I stayed wearing tank tops, I wondered "why am I not allowed to wear this, men are allowed to see me wear it? Why are they not instructed to avoid the mall, or tv shows where sick clothing is worn? Why aren't they told to abbey their eyes from shoulders? Why am I more responsible for controlling their thoughts than them?"
I went to an youth conference once and they tell you that non members that are checking out the church should dress your best. So I wasn’t that active and I brought a non member with me and they basically told him, his best dress of what he owned was not good enough. They made him take out his earrings, made him wear a shirt two sizes too small and made him wear a tie they gave him. After my aunt ripping a new one to the bishop and to the youth leaders, they had to retrain all the youth leaders in our stake. This rubbed us the wrong way and sent the wrong message. This was the last straw for me and it was hard leaving since my family is really strong in the church. 😔
As a convert, I had always thought that sleeveless clothing was ok before one went through the temple and started wearing garments. I never heard that showing one's shoulders was wrong. When I was young, I wore sleeveless dresses as well as tank tops. Who knew?
Purrsephone, It depends when you were young and where you live. If I could travel back in time to the '80s and '90s and show a photo of today's female casual dressing it would be defined as pornography. I'm not talking about any church's standards here, the vast majority of the general public would define today's fashion as pornography which is why I'm not surprised sexual abuse rates have risen so high during the 21st century, with the majority of victims being females.
I can only think of 1 other Church that is in the BITE model system. I don't see other "Normal" Churches put their people in a place where they are uncomfortable
The not showing personality thing hits hard for me. At church I have one way of telling people apart and thats from voices because clothing is so dull especially for men and I cant see faces well enough.
As a long-legged exmo, I was so attacked by the shorts/skirts rules. What would hit my cousins below the knee would be above mine and I would catch hell for it. Even if I wore leggings underneath, I was trying to attract the wrong kind of attention. I still can't stand skirts and dresses.
Oh what about Jesus Christ he had long hair and he wore a dress type of clothing and sandals and he was supposed to be the most perfect person here so are the prophets calling him on the unrespectful
Could Joseph Smith or Brigham Young be admitted to BYU, based on current standards? Could the Savior? Seems as though standards for things like hair length and facial hair have, like so many other things, flip-flopped with the denomination over time.
Wow, this videos so unexpectedly triggering. The purity culture was very strict in my experience growing up in Idaho. Thank you for doing these videos and helping me continue to deconstruct after 20 years.
Love the video Lex! This one so reminds me of an experience I had shortly after I took out my endowments. Before doing so no one had told me I needed to go through Temple Prep. The few time's Temple Prep had been mentioned to me in passing it sounded as though that was only meant for converts. I was "Born In the Covenant". So when my Bishop and Stake President asked if I felt I was prepared to go to the Temple? I said yes because I had been to the Temple before. I didn't realize they meant prepared for my endowments. In fact the day of my Grandmother said "You ready for a crash course in Temple Prep?" Anyway I went and not once did the guy doing the ceremony say anything about keeping Garments covered at all outside of the home. So a few weeks later I go to a multi stake YSA Dance and it was Houston Texas in July so it was very Hot and Humid. And they didn't turn on the AC in the building so not realizing the problem with my Garment shirt being visible I unbuttoned my flannel shirt to try to cool off a little. Next thing I knew I was getting shouted at in front of everyone by some guy I didn't know and I didn't understand why he had such a big problem with me having my shirt open. He couldn't comprehend that I had never been told not to let my Garment shirt show. He also said everyone was bothered by it yet he was not only the only one who said anything to me. He was also the only one who seemed to have noticed. When others from my Stake (who knew me all my life) tried to intervene and explain that it was a simple mistake he tried to shout them down as well. Turned out no one else had even noticed until he made such a big deal. Other's from his Stake apologized because they could see I was getting angry. Turns out he was from Utah hadn't even been in Houston that long and treated everybody like he was more righteous than they were. And apparently he didn't last long in Houston. He was sales rep for Vivint Home Security and was supposed to be both selling security systems and training other salesmen. But he apparently treated his trainees and customers the same way he treated other members. Sigh 😕 Okaaayyy Rant over!!!
Young man: Bishop Thurstie, I need to confess to you that I have commited the thought crime of having impure thoughts about a young woman. Bishop Thurstie: Tell me... what was she wearing? ... Bazinga! (Apologies to any Bishop's actually having the last name Thurstie)
One of the things (many oh so many ) which I hated about the Roman Catholic faith is “impure thoughts” were supposed to be given in confession and penance performed. So thinking my neighbor what a giant godless tool for leering at my teenage friends and I - yep that was fodder for confession items. I could see if we turned the hose on him or let the air out of tires sure. But merely wishing the guy into the cornfield seemed completely reasonable - loved this episode Exmo 👍👍🏆🏆
Sooooo glad I’m out! Being reminded of these things makes me so nauseous and upset. I have been free for 20 years and love life. I couldn’t imagine being stuck in this cult or raising my kids in it.
I grew up in a very conservative Christian home where there is some pressure about dress, but I cannot imagine what the pressure would be like to lose your salvation or family. I knew I was saved by grace even if I made the wrong choices.
I've been invited to mormon church many time..and have went. They were trying to baptize me and my family... I haven't and won't but I still talk to them every Wed & Sat. I was lucky to meet such good young men.. anyways, I have a large beard & many tattoos (neck and face also) and I've never felt like they cared or judged me (even inside the church from members who seen me for the first time) Maybe I'm wrong idk. I find it so interesting to learn about their faith. I hope I've affected their lives, as my Elders have mine. Much love & respect ❤ 🙏 take care!
I always hated the conservative mindset that anyone alternative dresses that way for attention. 1. Who cares. 2. Maybe they just like dressing that way and they don't care what you think. It doesn't tell you anything about that person morally and suggesting otherwise is ridiculous.
Never felt this here in Scotland nobody would dare tell me what to wear. My wedding dress was a corset back strapless I got piercings after I joined was anything said no
I remember men wearing colored pastel button-up shirts to church a few times. The members were all very polite, but it felt like we all knew that those men had made a mistake. It's almost like we viewed that person as a child--not maliciously, but like someone that hadn't learned the rules yet. And I knew this at like, age 8.
I've always hated how controlling the church is about these things. Why is it so bad for a guy to grow a beard? Why is it bad for a guy to have long hair? Or for a girl to have short hair at that? Who cares? Why do they care so much? What I wear and what I look like doesn't bother anyone. At the end of the day, it's a bunch of plain jane Karens that think every one needs to look "prim and proper".
When the men and boys have to wear a shirt to cover their stomach and chest while swimming, then I'll worry about what type of suit I wear. All those 6 pack abs and chest muscles are so sexy... it leads me to bad thoughts... so I guess those thoughts go both ways and so should the cover up rules.
So it's not normal to force a 9 year old to put on a shirt who is a week out from having heart surgery when grown women from the church are coming over to visit? Good to know.
I think the beard issue came about to try to distinguish Mormons from the flds. And then watching under the banner of heaven, that really seemed to solidify that belief in me that the leadership of the LDS Church is so traumatized by its past that it must separate itself as being the only good guys and they want the real to be able to just look and automatically know that your mainstream Mormon. My thoughts
All those silly rules that must be kept, otherwise a Mormon’s salvation may be jeopardized…. If Mormons claim to hold the Bible as God’s Word (which it is), how do they explain verse like Ephesians 1:13-14, which tells us that we are sealed with the Holy Spirt until redemption when we BELIEVE the gospel of our salvation? I’m thinking LDS must severely twist the Bible to make it align with BoM and PoGP, etc…? Because God’s Word is abundantly clear that Jesus finished the work of salvation at the cross, and we are completely justified by believing the gospel of Christ.
Ms. Lex, where did you get your education, and what was your major in? The way that you meticulously deconstruct the Mormon Faith is done with surgical precision that I have not seen on UA-cam outside of recorded college lectures and ted talks... it’s fascinating...
"Young Women, please understand that if you dress immodestly, you are magnifying this problem by becoming pornography to some of the men who see you." Dallin H Oaks
Men used to be tempted by me even when i was modestly dressed so it wasn't my responsibility that they were having lustful thoughts. Its the man's responsibility to control himself, not mine.
In my ward we have a lot of people that "violate" these rules. No one pays any attention to them we believe in, and teach, Free Agency. As can be seen in my avatar I have a very full beard ( I'm the old guy in the middle ), it has never gotten me out of a calling LOL. I only get my hair cut once or twice a year, and then only so it wont blow in my face while driving my hotrod, so my hair is quite often below my shoulders. I think God would be more pleased if people spent their time trying to save the lost rather than trying to create more. I doubt anyone will be punished when they meet their maker for being too modest, too generous, or having none pink hair.
What's with the older generation I drive past the churches and there are so many women I'd say 18 and above that are wearing floor length skirts always always why they remind me of the polygamist is that a new trend?
I know the church was not right when I had sex with my ex husband before we where married as a teen and then I had to talk to bishop who asked really deep sexal questions from a older guy to ask a teen it was like he was getting off on it
I started watching your videos last year when the sister missionaries started sending me friend requests and lead me down the rabbit hole and your videos are very informative. I wasn’t raised LDS but I enjoy watching your videos and getting answers that missionaries won’t tell you. I think it is ironic that they preach against drinking hot drinks but hot chocolate is some how just fine. Which doesn’t make sense to me. You should do a reaction with your husband on the hard to find Mormon videos and hear your perspective and your husbands perspective as a former missionary.
"I wonder if our young sisters realize the temptation they are flaunting before young men when they leave their bodies partly uncovered." Lex already picked up on this...sooo taken literally this an argument for the Mormon equivalent of a burka?!
What tells me about People with tattoos, piercings and unnatural hair colour is that they're intrepid people with style.... They just mad they can't have that coolness in them so they just hate on it 🤷.
Many similar unspoken (and sometimes spoken) standards in Japan. You can forget the bright colored hair (unless you cosplay anime), tats, multiple piercings, and leggings. They value cleanliness in appearance as well. Is the entire society a "cult?" I think not.
2:10 - I couldn't help noticing that the instructions about what should and shouldn't be worn included a list of specifics for females and only, "...maintain modesty," for males. This is, of course, because the LDS Church considers _women's_ shoulders, clavicles, and backs to be immodest or innately arousing, but not _men's._ This double standard (textbook logical fallacy) is rooted in the fact that the church is run exclusively by (and for) men...and specifically _straight_ men. I also noticed that women's garments come in _pink_ packaging, and men's come in _blue,_ exemplifying the ridiculous, largely artificial construct that is _gender,_ an issue wherein LDS policies have sent many young members running for the exits...and rightly so! As for beards and long hair on men, my buddy is LDS, and he has always had longer than "collar length" hair...particularly when he returned from serving in Iraq and decided to take a break from shaving and haircuts for awhile. At one point, he looked like Forrest Gump in the _running sequence,_ but eventually he trimmed up the beard to a full but well-groomed appearance. Even then, it's troubling to see how many people gave (and still _give)_ him grief for...frankly...bearing a striking resemblance every image of _Jesus_ the LDS Church has ever published.
Saying that women who don't cover themselves are a "temptation to men" is disgusting logic. Absolutely vile. This is definitely just a way to excuse sexual abuse, but there is NEVER. ANY. EXCUSE. Attraction is not a "temptation" because sex isn't bad or sinful, it's just human. And we are all capable of not acting on our attractions :P I'm lesbian. I'm not "tempted" by women who dress in cute or sexy ways, I just think to myself that they look cute and then move on with my life :P Women are just as sexual as men, contrary to popular misogynistic belief. So if I can resist the "temptation" the men can too. And uhh...when are they going to ban men going around shirtless so they're less of a temptation for the women? :P
I remember when I was 14 I wished I never was part of the church so that when I died I'd be saved anyways but was able to have all the fun. Now not only have I been officially out for a year but im having all the fun😂
Also wanted to make a cool announcement!!! If you have Hulu, go watch the new docu-series “Mormon No More.” I am in it!! They featured a couple of my TikTok videos in two episodes! I just finished episode one and it is SO good. Highly recommend it!!
I will definitely check it out👍👍👍
That's awesome!!! Congrats!
Will do
How exciting for you! Will definitely check it out. 🙂👍
Will give that one a watch, currently watching the Netflix documentary "Keep Sweet, Love and Obey" about the FLDS. Truly sad that there are so many indoctrinated persons which religion has harmed so much.
I wore a tank top to Walmart recently for the first time. I was observing the people around me to see if I got any extra attention for having my shoulders showing. Nope. No one cares. Isn't that nice?
So you’re saying it’s NOT normal to have a panic attack over showing my shoulders in front of my family?? 😅
No.... but I totally feel you there.
Your PORN shoulders??? Please, think of the children!! And the men who will be distracted and pulled away from God!
Ha this happens to me a few days ago! your not alone!
Happened
I remember when I first started wearing tank tops I felt so naked!! It gets better tho I promise ^^ sorry you went thru that :(
Accusing women of "tempting" men absolves men of personal responsibility and accountability.
unless the woman is overtly obviously trying to tempt the man such as in the song "don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me" where she admittedly is trying to steal someone's boyfriend away, but still the man can choose to say no to her like joseph in the bible did, even running away from potipher's wife who wanted him to lie with her and commit adultery. Yes, men have the responsibility to control themselves no matter what is thrown at them just like women do.
This happens in non Mormon Christianity too-basically my whole teenage years I got told that 'we made it so difficult for the men' when we wore shorts or tank tops. Basically being put on a huge guilt trip for simply having a female body. Guys are gonna think what they think, and that's just natural. The only problem I see with that is if they act on it in a way that is not welcomed by the woman.
When I got my tattoo my father in law said “I don’t believe in this ! I don’t agree ! Your body is a temple” my ex Mormon husband “dad ? But the temple is painted and has art added to make it look nicer” 🤣🤣
Exactly! And if the Mormon of the hereafter is correct we will be resurrected without our tattoos.
Since this life in mortality is just a blink of eternity give the critics a blink and say that is how long the tattoos will last...not enough time to worry about.
@@marktinney5794 that’s what I said 🤣🤣🤣I’m like but won’t our bodies be as god wants ? 🤣 or something like that 🤣😩 nothing es said
It all comes down to do you own yourself or does the church or god? I know where I stand.
@@marktinney5794 I'm a senior citizen and have no tattoos yet. I'm strongly considering it though. Two of my sons have "You are my sunshine" in Braille on their arms. It's in honor of my sweet grandmother whom they and I loved dearly. She became blind and learned Braille in her eighties!
@@utah133 cudos to your grandma for learning braille at her age. Take it from her and if you want a tattoo go for it!
My dad used to rub my leg when I went to my parents’ house to check if I was wearing garments. It made me uncomfortable to the point of avoiding him. He often accused me of not wearing them even when I did. Garments are sized for the waist. Because I have long legs, they didn’t go to my knees like they were supposed to. I always thought it was unfair for him to try to make me feel guilt for something I had no control of. I’m so happy that’s all behind me.
That's creepy my father has never rubbed my leg
.. um, your daddy is a total pervert. No real father would touch their daughter without permission
As a man, I went barber-free when I rose above "the church." My hair is like Jesus.
As a woman, I buzzed my head a month ago. Loving short hair and tank tops for summer! Cheers to being who we want to be!
So that's why the mormons stopped showing up at our door as soon as my very long haired male partner opened the door for them once? His hair is down to the middle of his back and he has a beard.
@@DieAlteistwiederda I have no beard and have gynecomastia. I identify as male but have very long hair and several children. I confuse Mormons beyond belief.
@@utah133 You identify as male? Well if you have a penis and testicles you're male!.. lol
I imagine your locks are gorgeous 😍 thank you for the mental picture!!
This is why women in Utah are CONSTANTLY wearing work out clothes even when they're not working out-- it's the only time they can show off their body and not wear garments but still look socially acceptable.
Absolutely true lol
Even the little tricks they pull to get psst the rules are collectively stupid 😅 Im not blaming them individually because I understand the desperation, but come on, the hypocrisy is obvious
As someone who used to size women for bras in Utah, sizing Mormons was the worst. At least the ones who wear their bras over their garments. They would always be difficult because the bras never fit right. It was so annoying. And it was always my fault they didn't fit right.
Wow! That's make look worst wore on. Even swimwear or other. Not great comfortable. 😵💫
Omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣. You can’t make this S up.
now they say you can put the bra under your undershirt . it helps that the marks are now printed on instead of stichedon. putting it on over is a holdover from corset wearing
@@ah5721 usually younger ones wouldn't wear it over. Older women/mid aged still do.
@@Whatever-fe7xn that’s not nice. Clearly, it’s a secondary language. And I think you know that. If you do not understand the sentiment the person was communicating, I seriously doubt your knowledge of English, but am happy to translate for you.
I recently dyed my hair pink/purple for the first time and my mormon mother insinuated that men were staring at me more (when they weren't) because only " fun girls " dye their hair like that.
I always thought this weird judgment for hair color was just my family, but I've started to learn it's kinda just part of mormonism, and I genuinely don't get why. Especially this weird suggestion that you're more open to being promiscuous because of your hair color.
Hi! My hair is fuchsia. I'm 69 years old. I've had it this colour for 4 years and I can't see me ever stopping with this colour. I don't do it so men will look at me. My promiscuous days are behind me; and when I was, my hair was its natural colour.
You know why I did it? Because it's just hair and it's fun. Fun is good.
So hang in there!
To me sounds like uneducated people. I have done fun colors on my daughter and have never had anyone say anything derogatory at me or her. You just were in a place where people were immature in their faith. I hear what your saying and have never experienced any of these things that you have experienced. Very strange don't know what church you were actually in.
When your hair is the color of a highlighter pen, it will naturally draw more attention. Our eyes tend to go to bright colors...that goes for men or women.
Speaking of how you wear your garments when I was a little girl growing up my convert neighbor from the Netherlands wore the old long sleeved long leg underwear under her dresses well of course the sleeves of the dresses were long but you still see the sleeves of the underwear the garments showing and her nylons you could see the long legs of the Garment showing through her nylons she was out of the old school and felt that that's where it's only God's way to where the old style I bet she had a hard time in finding them who knows but it was kind of ridiculous that you could see them you don't have to advertise but I guess that's what they want you to do anyway let your religion show when your garment show
They neednt worry-I thought that many guys didnt like coloured hair? I was told when I had pink hair that it made me less attractive.
If Jesus himself walked into a Mormon temple, he would be asked to leave immediately.
I stared having my faith crisis about a week ago and found your 10 things videos for those in a faith crisis and have to thank you sooooo much because it kept me from a flood of tears I was having and let me know things get better. Been bingeing you channel since. Thanks so much!!
Whichever way your journey takes you, I hope you do well.
@@mommyofkittens4809 Thank you.❤
I’m so glad it was helpful for you!!! ♥️ Sending all my love!
I truly hope that you are able to find the support you need during this time. If I may recommend "Recovering from religion", they are an excellent source of help for all sort of religious trauma, and you don't need to be an atheist to get the help you need.
@@JayBandersnatch Thank you. I will check it out. ❤
I recently switched from garments to noncult underwear. My B.O. went from a 3 to a 1 immediately.
LOL that’s awesome
You daily monitor your BO-level?
@@mylesmarkson1686 You don't?
@@paytyler Well, that would explain why I'm so good at parting The Red Sea everywhere I go!
@@mylesmarkson1686 As kids, my brother and his friends called this patch of woods the "BO Jungle." No idea what that was all about.
As a member, I always thought it was weird that garment tops were not available as tank tops designs, especially for men. Living in the Southeastern United States where it is hot and humid, garments were not just annoying, they were uncomfortable, and I always felt sick during the summer, because I am kind of heat sensitive. Having a tank top design would have been very welcoming.
Of course that doesn't happen, because design choices are always made by old men who live in Utah, and make decisions based on what they find acceptable living in Utah's climate.
John Jones-Don't you know that wearing a tank top would show your arm-pit hair and drive the girls wild and into waves of impure thoughts? Of course I'm joking BUT they would say that to you. If women can't show their shoulders and have to suffer in the heat then so do you guys!
@@annehersey9895 Of course I know this. As an Ex-Mormon, I can say that I have been constantly bombarded by desirous women who lustfully lost it over my armpit hair. It's a blessing and a curse to have such sexy armpit hair.
I have been out of the church for 9 years now. And I still have all sorts of internalized shame issues. In fact, I just got back from the hospital with anti-anxiety pills because I have been having troubling thoughts due to moral scrupulosity that developed from day 1 of my existence due to the Mormon church’s control.
My best friend married a Mormon man and she’s wasn’t LDS at the time. Her hair was bright blue at her wedding and had several visible tattoos. His side of the family had a few things to say about that, not to her face of course.
Back in the 90s when I was in young women the younger girls would always dress like the oldest girl. It’s was very creepy.
I gotta say, the best part of leaving the church (over 15 years ago) was not being told how to dress, talk, act, etc. They LOVE to tell other people how to live their lives. Basically, tyranny. Not just the leadership, anyone who likes giving unsolicited advice.
After my divorce, my sis-in-law kept harping about me getting married again and having kids. I told her I'd get married again when I want to stop getting laid. She hasn't brought it up since.
If a long beard presents the appearance of evil, I have this question: Was Jesus not often depicted wearing a long beard?????
Also, in the 60's and 70's, when wearing long hair became the fashion for men, I've often heard christian people condemn men for wearing long hair. The same was true with my parents. One day, I held up a picture of Jesus and asked them about Jesus wearing long hair and said, 'So, Jesus was a hippie??????!!!!! There was silence in the room because they were speechless!!!!
As an Australian former Mormon - we were definitely taught about dress standards as children, and if a woman (eg an investigator) attended Sunday meetings wearing a pair of trousers, we stared, appalled. I grew up with the notion that it was not okay for even children to wear sleeveless clothes. I remember a couple of times Melchizedek priesthood holders coming to church wearing black shirts and the shock felt by ward members was almost palpable. My father used to get upset when my younger brother (pre aged 12) wore a pale blue shirt to church instead of a white shirt and some church members only ever dressed their little boys in white shirts to church, to prepare them for when they were old enough to get the priesthood. My parents argued about my brother wearing a pale blue rather than white shirt to church.
For a period of time there was a woman in one of my wards who was a bit different to most women. Her hair was brown or black (so not brightly coloured) and her clothing modest, but she wore a bit more makeup than other women and just had a vibe about her that caused her to stand out. Perhaps her personality came into that as well. She was ostracized at church for being different, yet it was difficult to put your finger on just what about her made her stand out.
The point of all these examples is that it is not just wards in Utah or in the USA where members are held to high standards of modesty and conformity in their appearance.
I remember being aghast when, in my early twenties, I heard a conversation between older women from well-respected church families discussing how to get away with wearing fashionable shorter skirts (by wearing smaller garments) so they could technically obey the rules about wearing your garments while still appearing fashionable. I could not understand this attitude in these women who were held in high-esteem by church members (and they knew it). My understanding was that garment bottoms were to be worn with the leg mark over or about the knee, so while these women were wearing their garments, they were not wearing them properly. It confused me that they got away with it, but I guess it was like the word of wisdom where it was okay to only obey part of it.
Oh, and I remember when I was younger it was not okay to wear a pair of jeans into the chapel (the part of the building where sacrament was held) even on a weekday, eg for a choir practice on a Saturday.
Things may have changed in the church, I don't know, but the rules and standards and judgements exerted by the mormon church and it's members caused people to feel judged and unworthy, and those feelings and hurts don't just go away because things may have changed a bit now.
I'm in the American midwest , I know women who still do the garment shorter trick. my husband grew up with the white shirt expectation too. now he wears grey or blue because i've convinced him that God doesn't care the color of his shirt and reminded him 1 samuel 16:7 But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart
@@ah5721 iolite
2:31 The fashions of the world will change, but the Lord's standards will not change.
Also the Mormon church: what is considered "extreme" will vary from time to time and culture to culture.
Fun aside...so if we take the "context" thing at face value, wouldn't it be possible to dress too modestly at show too little skin lol???
The BITE model is exactly what the church is about. It’s a great book.
Exactly
Elder Bednar gave a talk about obeying the prophet regarding only a single earring. His example was a young man who broke off a relationship with a girl who had double piercing. The young man never said anything to her about it. He was seeing if she would "obey" the prophet. Bednar expressed that he did the right thing. I call that bullshit. The young man was a control freak. She is the lucky one.
This stuff drives me CRAZY!!! Why is all the responsibility put upon the Young Women or Women for what the Young Men or Men are thinking?! It’s NOT the Young Women/Women’s responsibility!!! So insane. Thank you for sharing this. They have even added more stipulations since I left. Wow! Crazy.
The whole concept of sin as it appears in modern Christianity is ridiculous. There is only one sin: treating people like objects. Full stop.
(Grandma used to say wasting food was a sin, so I guess that first runner up)
Biggest thing for me is the beard. I’m Filipino and not a lot of Filipinos have beards. However, because my grandfather was of different race, I got some of his physical traits. Shaving for me has been very hard cause of skin irritation but because of these controlling acts, I am forced to be uncomfortable for their standards.
So don’t be - and if anyone criticises tell them it’s a medical thing, if you don’t tell them it’s none of their beeswax first.
Jesus…does not care about your beard
@@DevoShire Exactly Devo! Because Jesus most certainly had a beard himself which is why early mormons all had beards! You idea is the right one, just say you have a medical condition. If it's trimmed and neat AND if you pay your tithing of cours then there shouldn't be a problem !
if your not at byu grow a glorious beard !! just keep it neat and trimmed to not scare anyone off.
Didn't Brigham Young have a beard?
NOBODY can “reach perfection” IF THEY ARE HUMAN.
At an 8th grade school dance, I wore this cute sleeveless dress (with a shrug to cover my shoulders, which I took off when I got there because it was ugly as hell). When I saw a girl from my ward at the dance, I was SO scared she would see my exposed shoulders and tell her mom, who would tell my mom and I would get in trouble. I spent most of the dance hiding from her 😭
Literally 😭 It's the worst seeing someone from your ward at school, especially cuz they can be such snitches.
I used to have vibrant purple hair, I dyed my hair back to brown (my natural color) and some leaders gave me “compliments” and congratulated me about it. Made me feel awful
I'm proudly ex👍👍 This made me think of the time I got shade for wearing a blue dress shirt to church. So many unwritten Mormon rules.
As someone with horrible intrusive thoughts (possibly stemming from trauma but idk) the churches belief in "thought crimes" has always given me massive anxiety.
that's not just mormon, anyone who believes the bible. jesus equated thoughts with deeds.
@@jeannetteknight7375 Yeah but Im pretty sure its been misinterpreted-so many of Jesus quotes sound really wierd and totally unfair which are at complete odds with his actions and personality. I do still embrace a very tolerant, open minded form of Christianity which values true individual choice, so if anything in the bible doesnt make sense to me I dont act on it or incorporate it into my beliefs
God’s opinions on what is extreme changes with the trends I suppose 😅
OMG... ! ... ooh those shoulders, aaaaaah where's a cold shower, where's a cold shower?!?
🙂
Thank you so much for bringing this all up and specifically about women. Im a woman, and I have constantly been criticized about my dress and hair color. I have some serious health issues, so I’m really grateful that I had an excuse to not go on a mission. And the fear is real. I swear half of my anxiety and panic attacks are related to the church
My anxiety and panic attacks were also related to the church. I'm not sure I've had one since I left it.
I saw a Mormon boy for a few months in my twenties. I had very short blue hair and wore a lot of sleeveless tank tops. His mother literally called me a succubus.
It’s funny how oaks hates Long hair and beards. I think he is jealous because he lost his hair. Nice tattoo! Keep up the good work.
Just stopped wearing garments, yea!
We’ll pray for you… /sarc
"What would Jesus do?" Straighten his suit, tie then harass the nearest.... wait a minute.
I was definitely a jack mormon back in the day. Because I was dying my hair unnatural colors and getting tattoos at least a decade before I even left.
"Sinful thoughts"........the LDS Church lifted that one from the Catholic Church.
I can't imagine wearing a bra over a shirt everyday for the rest of my life. Shirt then bra then another shirt. And the shirt part of the garments looks loose which makes it even worse bc then the fabric is going to be bunching up and moving around under your bra
Can I just say that my non-Mormon parents, taught me to dress much like your church believes. Of course, I’m 64, and times are different. Tattoo were a hard pass. At 50ish, I got a nose piercing, to go with my many ear piercings. I tried to hide it from Mom, 😅 I was still
scared! She loved it! ❤
Oddly, much of what you say reminds me of very conservative Christian churches. Such interesting content!
This’ll
I developed rather early when I was a teenager and by the time I was 14 I had D cups. I remember I wore a shirt that was light, not see through, covered my shoulders, and when I wore it my step mom made a dramatic show of fainting then getting up and screaming that my shirt was inappropriate and my dad walked in to see what the commotion was, and promptly agreed. Now my step sister wasn't so lucky in development, so she was able to get away with clothing I wasn't, she even was allowed to wear a tankini while I was not. Yeah, so I had to be subject to more ridicule simply because I developed early and was treated like I had full control over that.
When I was working for the State of Utah in a SL office, my supervisor called me into his office. I must preface this with the times-late 1970's and I'm a non-mormon. I was wearing a tank top (not spaghetti strap or razorback, a regular tank that had pretty wide arm/strap area wearing it with a good bra). My boss-(a guy I really liked and bishop in the church) indicated I should wear a top that covered my shoulders. As a navtive of San Diego, I was shocked-tank tops were almost like a uniform if worn with the right slacks or skirts because of the hot weather. I let him know that I thought that if shoulders bothered someone, that was their problem not mine and since I wasn't showing even a bit of cleavage I would keep wearing it. Also on my side is a different female supervisor wore the same type of tank top as I was almost every single day. Nothing more was said but as a non Mormon, I was absolutely shocked that something like shoulders should be a big deal. As I said, coming from SoCal, I also wore a lot of dresses to work BUT they were definitely mini dresses-I was in my early 20's from SoCal so that's what I had but nothing was ever said about that.
Hearing you say this now, I am just... wow. I joined when I was about 21 and it was 'drilled' into me that 'leggings and tights are not an extension of your dress.' I started off with an eating disorder and ended up with full blown body dysmorphia. I would always wear cardigans, dresses, and leggings, so every part of my body was covered. I didn't want anybody to be able to see any part of my body seen. It was horrible. The only thing I rebelled against was my hair, I continued to dye my hair bright colors (I dyed my hair pink after the same person told me that I shouldn't really be doing that, kind of a nope you can't tell me what to do!) I also already had a ton of piercings and a few tattoos and I didn't take them out. It was funny when church leaders would tell the YSA about piercings and I would just cover my ears, tongue, and belly button.
Here’s my horror story: I performed in a musical in high school. My parent in a prominent leadership position felt it necessary to announce I was getting a haircut after the last performance. 😄
TBMs are overly concerned about what others think. What a way to live.
As always, I loved this!! You need to read “Shattered Dreams” by Irene Spencer. It is a real look into the life of a polygamist wife in the 1950s.
Once I stayed wearing tank tops, I wondered "why am I not allowed to wear this, men are allowed to see me wear it? Why are they not instructed to avoid the mall, or tv shows where sick clothing is worn? Why aren't they told to abbey their eyes from shoulders? Why am I more responsible for controlling their thoughts than them?"
I went to an youth conference once and they tell you that non members that are checking out the church should dress your best. So I wasn’t that active and I brought a non member with me and they basically told him, his best dress of what he owned was not good enough. They made him take out his earrings, made him wear a shirt two sizes too small and made him wear a tie they gave him. After my aunt ripping a new one to the bishop and to the youth leaders, they had to retrain all the youth leaders in our stake. This rubbed us the wrong way and sent the wrong message. This was the last straw for me and it was hard leaving since my family is really strong in the church. 😔
As a convert, I had always thought that sleeveless clothing was ok before one went through the temple and started wearing garments. I never heard that showing one's shoulders was wrong. When I was young, I wore sleeveless dresses as well as tank tops. Who knew?
Purrsephone,
It depends when you were young and where you live.
If I could travel back in time to the '80s and '90s and show a photo of today's female casual dressing it would be defined as pornography.
I'm not talking about any church's standards here, the vast majority of the general public would define today's fashion as pornography which is why I'm not surprised sexual abuse rates have risen so high during the 21st century, with the majority of victims being females.
I can only think of 1 other Church that is in the BITE model system.
I don't see other "Normal" Churches put their people in a place where they are uncomfortable
The not showing personality thing hits hard for me. At church I have one way of telling people apart and thats from voices because clothing is so dull especially for men and I cant see faces well enough.
As a long-legged exmo, I was so attacked by the shorts/skirts rules. What would hit my cousins below the knee would be above mine and I would catch hell for it. Even if I wore leggings underneath, I was trying to attract the wrong kind of attention.
I still can't stand skirts and dresses.
8:10 So if beards are bad when are they disavowing founders like Brigham Young??? Oh that's right. "Rules for thee but not for me."
For a long time, BYU had a "No facial hair" policy. So yep, Briggsy wouldn't have been allowed on his own campus!
@@mylesmarkson1686 Absolutely hilarious lol.
Oh what about Jesus Christ he had long hair and he wore a dress type of clothing and sandals and he was supposed to be the most perfect person here so are the prophets calling him on the unrespectful
Could Joseph Smith or Brigham Young be admitted to BYU, based on current standards? Could the Savior? Seems as though standards for things like hair length and facial hair have, like so many other things, flip-flopped with the denomination over time.
Wow, this videos so unexpectedly triggering. The purity culture was very strict in my experience growing up in Idaho. Thank you for doing these videos and helping me continue to deconstruct after 20 years.
Love the video Lex! This one so reminds me of an experience I had shortly after I took out my endowments. Before doing so no one had told me I needed to go through Temple Prep. The few time's Temple Prep had been mentioned to me in passing it sounded as though that was only meant for converts. I was "Born In the Covenant". So when my Bishop and Stake President asked if I felt I was prepared to go to the Temple? I said yes because I had been to the Temple before. I didn't realize they meant prepared for my endowments. In fact the day of my Grandmother said "You ready for a crash course in Temple Prep?" Anyway I went and not once did the guy doing the ceremony say anything about keeping Garments covered at all outside of the home. So a few weeks later I go to a multi stake YSA Dance and it was Houston Texas in July so it was very Hot and Humid. And they didn't turn on the AC in the building so not realizing the problem with my Garment shirt being visible I unbuttoned my flannel shirt to try to cool off a little. Next thing I knew I was getting shouted at in front of everyone by some guy I didn't know and I didn't understand why he had such a big problem with me having my shirt open. He couldn't comprehend that I had never been told not to let my Garment shirt show. He also said everyone was bothered by it yet he was not only the only one who said anything to me. He was also the only one who seemed to have noticed. When others from my Stake (who knew me all my life) tried to intervene and explain that it was a simple mistake he tried to shout them down as well.
Turned out no one else had even noticed until he made such a big deal. Other's from his Stake apologized because they could see I was getting angry. Turns out he was from Utah hadn't even been in Houston that long and treated everybody like he was more righteous than they were. And apparently he didn't last long in Houston. He was sales rep for Vivint Home Security and was supposed to be both selling security systems and training other salesmen. But he apparently treated his trainees and customers the same way he treated other members. Sigh 😕 Okaaayyy Rant over!!!
Young man: Bishop Thurstie, I need to confess to you that I have commited the thought crime of having impure thoughts about a young woman.
Bishop Thurstie: Tell me... what was she wearing?
... Bazinga!
(Apologies to any Bishop's actually having the last name Thurstie)
Ew
One of the things (many oh so many ) which I hated about the Roman Catholic faith is “impure thoughts” were supposed to be given in confession and penance performed. So thinking my neighbor what a giant godless tool for leering at my teenage friends and I - yep that was fodder for confession items. I could see if we turned the hose on him or let the air out of tires sure. But merely wishing the guy into the cornfield seemed completely reasonable - loved this episode Exmo 👍👍🏆🏆
Great stuff, Lex. It’s Friday!
long hair and Beard who's going to tell Jeus he needs a hair cut and a shave so he can go to Church
I came here to say exactly this! The paintings they use as "this is how jesus looked" sure don't match up with how they define "modesty" 🤣
Hypocrisy is rampant in the church
@@joshd270 All of those early Prophets had long glorious beards. Apparently it's "Do as we say--Not as we do!"
Sooooo glad I’m out! Being reminded of these things makes me so nauseous and upset. I have been free for 20 years and love life. I couldn’t imagine being stuck in this cult or raising my kids in it.
The name Mormon is incorrectly spelled by having an extra m in it's spelling.
Are no swim suits sold in Utah? Seems like you’d need a suit from 1910 to meet the Mormon standards.
I grew up in a very conservative Christian home where there is some pressure about dress, but I cannot imagine what the pressure would be like to lose your salvation or family. I knew I was saved by grace even if I made the wrong choices.
I've been invited to mormon church many time..and have went. They were trying to baptize me and my family... I haven't and won't but I still talk to them every Wed & Sat. I was lucky to meet such good young men.. anyways, I have a large beard & many tattoos (neck and face also) and I've never felt like they cared or judged me (even inside the church from members who seen me for the first time) Maybe I'm wrong idk. I find it so interesting to learn about their faith. I hope I've affected their lives, as my Elders have mine. Much love & respect ❤ 🙏 take care!
Empty liquor bottle? I always keep mine at least half full. Don't want to run out .
I always hated the conservative mindset that anyone alternative dresses that way for attention. 1. Who cares. 2. Maybe they just like dressing that way and they don't care what you think. It doesn't tell you anything about that person morally and suggesting otherwise is ridiculous.
Never felt this here in Scotland nobody would dare tell me what to wear. My wedding dress was a corset back strapless
I got piercings after I joined was anything said no
And before anything is said
I love my Heavenly Father
I love your videos they help my children with who they are and for that I’m forever greatfull
I was once told I was an unfaithful priesthood holder because my white shirt had a thin light blue pin stripe.
In this episode everything you say about clothes all I can imagine hearing in the background is "harper valley pta"
I remember men wearing colored pastel button-up shirts to church a few times. The members were all very polite, but it felt like we all knew that those men had made a mistake. It's almost like we viewed that person as a child--not maliciously, but like someone that hadn't learned the rules yet. And I knew this at like, age 8.
It's a stupid CULTural thing. There's no rule written anywhere that men need to wear white shirts to church, except in the temple.
I've always hated how controlling the church is about these things. Why is it so bad for a guy to grow a beard? Why is it bad for a guy to have long hair? Or for a girl to have short hair at that? Who cares? Why do they care so much? What I wear and what I look like doesn't bother anyone. At the end of the day, it's a bunch of plain jane Karens that think every one needs to look "prim and proper".
A beard and long hair is evil....? What about Jesus, then?
You are just nailing it. This is just so spot on that walks you through the controlling and terrible influence to hurt and heavy hand their members.
When the men and boys have to wear a shirt to cover their stomach and chest while swimming, then I'll worry about what type of suit I wear. All those 6 pack abs and chest muscles are so sexy... it leads me to bad thoughts... so I guess those thoughts go both ways and so should the cover up rules.
So it's not normal to force a 9 year old to put on a shirt who is a week out from having heart surgery when grown women from the church are coming over to visit? Good to know.
I think the beard issue came about to try to distinguish Mormons from the flds. And then watching under the banner of heaven, that really seemed to solidify that belief in me that the leadership of the LDS Church is so traumatized by its past that it must separate itself as being the only good guys and they want the real to be able to just look and automatically know that your mainstream Mormon. My thoughts
Out of the cult for twenty years, and I still can’t show my bare midfiff
Do it!
The obsession over girls being modest, seems pointless, after being told in college, that "the boys were x-raying me." 🤦
All those silly rules that must be kept, otherwise a Mormon’s salvation may be jeopardized….
If Mormons claim to hold the Bible as God’s Word (which it is), how do they explain verse like Ephesians 1:13-14, which tells us that we are sealed with the Holy Spirt until redemption when we BELIEVE the gospel of our salvation?
I’m thinking LDS must severely twist the Bible to make it align with BoM and PoGP, etc…? Because God’s Word is abundantly clear that Jesus finished the work of salvation at the cross, and we are completely justified by believing the gospel of Christ.
Ms. Lex, where did you get your education, and what was your major in? The way that you meticulously deconstruct the Mormon Faith is done with surgical precision that I have not seen on UA-cam outside of recorded college lectures and ted talks... it’s fascinating...
"Young Women, please understand that if you dress immodestly, you are magnifying this problem by becoming pornography to some of the men who see you." Dallin H Oaks
Beards and long hair are evil? But I thought Jesus had long hair and a beard. That's just something that's called hypocrisy😂
Men used to be tempted by me even when i was modestly dressed so it wasn't my responsibility that they were having lustful thoughts. Its the man's responsibility to control himself, not mine.
In my ward we have a lot of people that "violate" these rules. No one pays any attention to them we believe in, and teach, Free Agency. As can be seen in my avatar I have a very full beard ( I'm the old guy in the middle ), it has never gotten me out of a calling LOL. I only get my hair cut once or twice a year, and then only so it wont blow in my face while driving my hotrod, so my hair is quite often below my shoulders. I think God would be more pleased if people spent their time trying to save the lost rather than trying to create more. I doubt anyone will be punished when they meet their maker for being too modest, too generous, or having none pink hair.
What's with the older generation I drive past the churches and there are so many women I'd say 18 and above that are wearing floor length skirts always always why they remind me of the polygamist is that a new trend?
I know the church was not right when I had sex with my ex husband before we where married as a teen and then I had to talk to bishop who asked really deep sexal questions from a older guy to ask a teen it was like he was getting off on it
I started watching your videos last year when the sister missionaries started sending me friend requests and lead me down the rabbit hole and your videos are very informative. I wasn’t raised LDS but I enjoy watching your videos and getting answers that missionaries won’t tell you. I think it is ironic that they preach against drinking hot drinks but hot chocolate is some how just fine. Which doesn’t make sense to me. You should do a reaction with your husband on the hard to find Mormon videos and hear your perspective and your husbands perspective as a former missionary.
"I wonder if our young sisters realize the temptation they are flaunting before young men when they leave their bodies partly uncovered."
Lex already picked up on this...sooo taken literally this an argument for the Mormon equivalent of a burka?!
Almost sounds like the Taliban.
What tells me about People with tattoos, piercings and unnatural hair colour is that they're intrepid people with style.... They just mad they can't have that coolness in them so they just hate on it 🤷.
3 words You Bottom Lined It, Girl..It's A CULT!! Thanks!
Many similar unspoken (and sometimes spoken) standards in Japan. You can forget the bright colored hair (unless you cosplay anime), tats, multiple piercings, and leggings. They value cleanliness in appearance as well. Is the entire society a "cult?" I think not.
@@kristinab1078 wtf are u talking about
@kristinab1078 It's more than just the demand for modesty that makes it a cult.
2:10 - I couldn't help noticing that the instructions about what should and shouldn't be worn included a list of specifics for females and only, "...maintain modesty," for males. This is, of course, because the LDS Church considers _women's_ shoulders, clavicles, and backs to be immodest or innately arousing, but not _men's._ This double standard (textbook logical fallacy) is rooted in the fact that the church is run exclusively by (and for) men...and specifically _straight_ men. I also noticed that women's garments come in _pink_ packaging, and men's come in _blue,_ exemplifying the ridiculous, largely artificial construct that is _gender,_ an issue wherein LDS policies have sent many young members running for the exits...and rightly so!
As for beards and long hair on men, my buddy is LDS, and he has always had longer than "collar length" hair...particularly when he returned from serving in Iraq and decided to take a break from shaving and haircuts for awhile. At one point, he looked like Forrest Gump in the _running sequence,_ but eventually he trimmed up the beard to a full but well-groomed appearance. Even then, it's troubling to see how many people gave (and still _give)_ him grief for...frankly...bearing a striking resemblance every image of _Jesus_ the LDS Church has ever published.
Hello, this isn't 1800s.
I have long hair does that mean I'm bad? Wow
i admire your honesty. that's not the mormon way of communicating.
Saying that women who don't cover themselves are a "temptation to men" is disgusting logic. Absolutely vile. This is definitely just a way to excuse sexual abuse, but there is NEVER. ANY. EXCUSE.
Attraction is not a "temptation" because sex isn't bad or sinful, it's just human. And we are all capable of not acting on our attractions :P I'm lesbian. I'm not "tempted" by women who dress in cute or sexy ways, I just think to myself that they look cute and then move on with my life :P Women are just as sexual as men, contrary to popular misogynistic belief. So if I can resist the "temptation" the men can too.
And uhh...when are they going to ban men going around shirtless so they're less of a temptation for the women? :P
I remember when I was 14 I wished I never was part of the church so that when I died I'd be saved anyways but was able to have all the fun. Now not only have I been officially out for a year but im having all the fun😂