"Don't ask for their compassion, you have mine instead" was the sentance finally allowing my tears to come out. I'm not diagnosed by anyone but my friend, I'm so tired
Whenever I shut down I’ve noticed I often go cross eyed and sometimes even look physically ill those are usually my first warning signs. In later phases I might respond to anything you say to me with a harsh abrupt “OK!” as in I get that you’re speaking to me but I just can’t process sh!t rn. In the rare case that I’m not in a safe space at that point and am still actively being triggered, I then go into my flight response which usually presents in me explicitly vocalizing that I need to get tf out of that situation, often but not always yelling at the top of my lungs, if it hasn’t been resolved by then (which again is very rarely the case) then I go into a full blown meltdown which may include frantically screaming, digging into my skin with my fingernails or pulling my hair.
When I shut down I can walk and that's about it. I walk into roads a lot when that happens, it's why I have to have support workers with me most of the time when I'm outside. I get lost, walk into traffic and other dangerous situations and all kinds of other things that honestly make me feel like a toddler. It's like dissociation but from the mind as well as the body/the world. I've had burnouts before too, they're really awful. Ended up in a mental health unit at one point. I hope you manage to slowly float out of it, that's the only way I can beat them; I stop as much of the stuff making me burn out as possible, simplify everything (make cooking easier etc) and hope for the best.
Thank you for all of these videos! I have so many 'Oh, THAT'S what that is!' when I watch them because I was late diagnosed and never really given any information about autism so these videos are really helpful
I've found that now I often have shutdowns instead of meltdowns. I'm not sure why. I think it may be because I've just encountered more situations that a shutdown response is easier to deal with and doesn't make things too much worse.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerable experience, Sara. I think the progression of shutdown to burnout to unrefreshing sleep is very interesting. I know someone who I think is going through that progression and has obstructive sleep apnea and the doctors don't know what's causing it.
I just had a 3 day shutdown and my boyfriend kept reacting angrily, he doesn’t understand and it made my burnout worse and worse until for the first time in my life I just wandered away. Walked over a mile. So that last thing you said almost made me cry. Thank you for your compassion.
Thank you so much for this and all of your other videos and advocacy work, for helping me and others figure out and begin to manage this cycle of shutdown/burnout in the absence of fully functioning autistic diagnostic services. Your compassion means the world to me right now.
I call my episodes, "brain leaks ." When I need to drain my mind of all the stress and anxiety of being too overwhelmed. It really does physically and emotionally take it's toll.
I don’t fully shut down, but I blend freeze and fawn as a response then later I do hide away, without the shut down disassociate. Just found your channel today so older videos are coming up. They’re great.
I'm currently in the middle of a rollercoaster of burn out and shutdown behavior that is snowballing out of control. It's being made worse because I can't get the help I need. Thank you so much for making these videos, on very bad days (today) your videos have become the light I use to see my way out of this shit. Just knowing there's someone out there that I can relate to (I'm 41, and of the "weird" caste of society lol) makes the nightmare bearable. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for doing what you do. You are making a difference for at least one old crusty street punk.
Thank you for this! I don't have a diagnosis but when I hear about things from the perspectives of autistic people (as opposed to people who speak "for autism") I recognize behaviors and patterns in my life. Makes me think that I should go and get checked out, just to have some protection at work if needed.
I am not diagnosed autistic but ADHD. during a confrontation at work on Friday in auto pilot I got up walk to the coat peg in my office picked up my scarf wrapped it around my head sat down and cried this feeling also last for hours days or weeks... I have empathy for you and hope you feel better real soon. I follow you to help me better understand my son. Thank you x
I go through these all the time, from my PTSD. My son has autism, so I am able to relate so much with him. It's amazing that we both go through them, with such different conditions.
I'm so thankful that you made this video. I'm not diagnosed with autism (I have two daughters who are) but I was diagnosed with PTSD and OCD in college and have experienced shutdowns many times exactly as you described and I guess I'd never really thought about other people experiencing them because I'd never heard anyone else ever talk about experiencing it before. I don't think I ever even talked about it with my therapists or psychiatrist. And it's so helpful to hear you talk about it (and I can't even imagine how helpful it would have been to hear you talk about it back when I was a teenager first experiencing it). Which I guess is my way of saying that I think your videos are immensely valuable. Thank you for speaking about your personal experiences.
When I'm seriously overloaded sometimes I can't speak, I'm usually able to keep texting, I am very aware of my surroundings and technically I can force words out of I have to, it's just super, super hard. Would that be a shutdown or just a non/semi verbal episode caused by stress?
Fascinating. I used to drink until I actually shutdown - couldnt move, couldnt speak - was the only way I could get any sort of relief, I think, from the speed of thoughts etc. I was diagnosed with autism this year at the age of 42, and it explains sooo much of my past behaviour (I havent had a drink in over 3 years now). I don't know if thats the same sort of thing youre talking about here, but I recognise a lot of the feelings youre talking about.
Interesting , for me avoiding a shutdown in a group situation , the only cure I could think of and which worked , was having a couple of beers immediately , so I relaxed a bit , and so constantly drinking beers could keep me good for hours on end . Of course after that I needed days and days to recover , and in the end I quit putting myself in these situations , it's totally artificial behaviour and had to stop for different reasons . Ah well , it was interesting but glad it's over and out , good riddance and opgeruimd staat netjes ! (that's dutch...😉)
@@koen8185 As time has gone on, I've learned more about how autism affects me. While my comment is still valid, and absolutely true, I think that I shut down in other situations as well. For example, I was in a shop here with my mum a few years ago (before I was diagnosed, actually) and she fell. I froze and someone else had to help her up, which was kind of embarrassing. It was actually one of the incidents that made me seek a diagnosis (though the main one had to do with a physical disability, ironically).
thank you for this. i was diagnosed at 34 and i'm a mom of two. i've been trying to navigate this whole autism thing whilst having two kids and going through a divorce. I've just gotten disability after a four year battle but it's super hard to solo parent when you don't have enough resources about your own condition. there aren't very many specialists out here. so social media and other autistic folks are giving me life and insight. thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much.
Sending love and light to you. I know how you feel. I recently just relocated and been in burn out mode for 6 weeks while still dealing with life. 😣 🤗hope you feel energized soon.
Hi I'm Karen and we met at the cross party autism group, I can relate to shutdowns, had many in my life before I was diagnosed age 38 in 2005. I was not like you but I have PTSD from all the years of struggle and masking to hide my reality because I did not totally understand myself.
your videos are so cutieee and makes it easier for me to go through! i find most videos too boring and this is just perfect! :D please make more videos i need this to cope with my life omg!!
I mask my behaviour a lot when I’m with people I’m not fully comfortable with yet and can have like a mini shut down mid sentence if I give them eye contact or if I’m just overwhelmed but I feel like I need to act my best because of my mask. Does anyone else do this?
My one huge question is how do you explain your meltdowns and shut downs to your children when you're solo parenting and the other parent thinks they're too young to have to understand "mom's problems"?
Is it true that autstic people are more likley to be tramatized, i have autsim but ptsd as well and its from something that someone may not be as tramatized by
Mona Lisa definitely. at least it was true for me. it's hard to go through all that without support and validation. hoping it helps a little to know others have been there, too.
"Don't ask for their compassion, you have mine instead" was the sentance finally allowing my tears to come out. I'm not diagnosed by anyone but my friend, I'm so tired
Whenever I shut down I’ve noticed I often go cross eyed and sometimes even look physically ill those are usually my first warning signs. In later phases I might respond to anything you say to me with a harsh abrupt “OK!” as in I get that you’re speaking to me but I just can’t process sh!t rn. In the rare case that I’m not in a safe space at that point and am still actively being triggered, I then go into my flight response which usually presents in me explicitly vocalizing that I need to get tf out of that situation, often but not always yelling at the top of my lungs, if it hasn’t been resolved by then (which again is very rarely the case) then I go into a full blown meltdown which may include frantically screaming, digging into my skin with my fingernails or pulling my hair.
good video. proud of you showing the rawness. and thank you for your compassion...
I'm in autistic burnout right now too. Thank you for this video, I hope you'll be able to rest and get better ♥
When I shut down I can walk and that's about it. I walk into roads a lot when that happens, it's why I have to have support workers with me most of the time when I'm outside. I get lost, walk into traffic and other dangerous situations and all kinds of other things that honestly make me feel like a toddler. It's like dissociation but from the mind as well as the body/the world. I've had burnouts before too, they're really awful. Ended up in a mental health unit at one point. I hope you manage to slowly float out of it, that's the only way I can beat them; I stop as much of the stuff making me burn out as possible, simplify everything (make cooking easier etc) and hope for the best.
Thank you for all of these videos! I have so many 'Oh, THAT'S what that is!' when I watch them because I was late diagnosed and never really given any information about autism so these videos are really helpful
I've found that now I often have shutdowns instead of meltdowns. I'm not sure why. I think it may be because I've just encountered more situations that a shutdown response is easier to deal with and doesn't make things too much worse.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerable experience, Sara. I think the progression of shutdown to burnout to unrefreshing sleep is very interesting. I know someone who I think is going through that progression and has obstructive sleep apnea and the doctors don't know what's causing it.
I just had a 3 day shutdown and my boyfriend kept reacting angrily, he doesn’t understand and it made my burnout worse and worse until for the first time in my life I just wandered away. Walked over a mile. So that last thing you said almost made me cry. Thank you for your compassion.
Thank you so much for this and all of your other videos and advocacy work, for helping me and others figure out and begin to manage this cycle of shutdown/burnout in the absence of fully functioning autistic diagnostic services. Your compassion means the world to me right now.
I call my episodes, "brain leaks ." When I need to drain my mind of all the stress and anxiety of being too overwhelmed.
It really does physically and emotionally take it's toll.
I don’t fully shut down, but I blend freeze and fawn as a response then later I do hide away, without the shut down disassociate. Just found your channel today so older videos are coming up. They’re great.
I'm currently in the middle of a rollercoaster of burn out and shutdown behavior that is snowballing out of control. It's being made worse because I can't get the help I need. Thank you so much for making these videos, on very bad days (today) your videos have become the light I use to see my way out of this shit. Just knowing there's someone out there that I can relate to (I'm 41, and of the "weird" caste of society lol) makes the nightmare bearable. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for doing what you do. You are making a difference for at least one old crusty street punk.
Thank you for this! I don't have a diagnosis but when I hear about things from the perspectives of autistic people (as opposed to people who speak "for autism") I recognize behaviors and patterns in my life. Makes me think that I should go and get checked out, just to have some protection at work if needed.
I am not diagnosed autistic but ADHD. during a confrontation at work on Friday in auto pilot I got up walk to the coat peg in my office picked up my scarf wrapped it around my head sat down and cried this feeling also last for hours days or weeks... I have empathy for you and hope you feel better real soon. I follow you to help me better understand my son. Thank you x
I "get stuck". I can't move my body and I can't speak
I go through these all the time, from my PTSD. My son has autism, so I am able to relate so much with him. It's amazing that we both go through them, with such different conditions.
I'm so thankful that you made this video. I'm not diagnosed with autism (I have two daughters who are) but I was diagnosed with PTSD and OCD in college and have experienced shutdowns many times exactly as you described and I guess I'd never really thought about other people experiencing them because I'd never heard anyone else ever talk about experiencing it before. I don't think I ever even talked about it with my therapists or psychiatrist. And it's so helpful to hear you talk about it (and I can't even imagine how helpful it would have been to hear you talk about it back when I was a teenager first experiencing it). Which I guess is my way of saying that I think your videos are immensely valuable. Thank you for speaking about your personal experiences.
When I'm seriously overloaded sometimes I can't speak, I'm usually able to keep texting, I am very aware of my surroundings and technically I can force words out of I have to, it's just super, super hard. Would that be a shutdown or just a non/semi verbal episode caused by stress?
@San Same here
You are so brilliantly helpful in teaching me how to understand my son
Fascinating. I used to drink until I actually shutdown - couldnt move, couldnt speak - was the only way I could get any sort of relief, I think, from the speed of thoughts etc. I was diagnosed with autism this year at the age of 42, and it explains sooo much of my past behaviour (I havent had a drink in over 3 years now). I don't know if thats the same sort of thing youre talking about here, but I recognise a lot of the feelings youre talking about.
Interesting , for me avoiding a shutdown in a group situation , the only cure I could think of and which worked , was having a couple of beers immediately , so I relaxed a bit , and so constantly drinking beers could keep me good for hours on end . Of course after that I needed days and days to recover , and in the end I quit putting myself in these situations , it's totally artificial behaviour and had to stop for different reasons . Ah well , it was interesting but glad it's over and out , good riddance and opgeruimd staat netjes ! (that's dutch...😉)
@@koen8185 As time has gone on, I've learned more about how autism affects me. While my comment is still valid, and absolutely true, I think that I shut down in other situations as well. For example, I was in a shop here with my mum a few years ago (before I was diagnosed, actually) and she fell. I froze and someone else had to help her up, which was kind of embarrassing. It was actually one of the incidents that made me seek a diagnosis (though the main one had to do with a physical disability, ironically).
Lovely to see you again, sorry you've been feeling rubbish. Sending lots of love and hugs *hugs* *love* xxx
thank you for this. i was diagnosed at 34 and i'm a mom of two. i've been trying to navigate this whole autism thing whilst having two kids and going through a divorce. I've just gotten disability after a four year battle but it's super hard to solo parent when you don't have enough resources about your own condition. there aren't very many specialists out here. so social media and other autistic folks are giving me life and insight. thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much.
Thank you 💖💖💖
Is it possible to be in a state of burnout almost constantly over the span of a few years?
Thank you for your compassion!
♡
The disassociation is the worst. Burnout I’m just coming out of one...exhausting...retire to my bungalow and hide it out.
Sending love and light to you. I know how you feel. I recently just relocated and been in burn out mode for 6 weeks while still dealing with life. 😣
🤗hope you feel energized soon.
Hi I'm Karen and we met at the cross party autism group, I can relate to shutdowns, had many in my life before I was diagnosed age 38 in 2005. I was not like you but I have PTSD from all the years of struggle and masking to hide my reality because I did not totally understand myself.
your videos are so cutieee and makes it easier for me to go through! i find most videos too boring and this is just perfect! :D please make more videos i need this to cope with my life omg!!
💜 your videos. So glad I found them to help me better understand how to be there for others who struggle
can shutdowns come along with crying or would that be classed as something else (maybe an overload?)
Little Blue they can, but I know a lot of people would class that as a meltdown.
/you are amazing. compassion builds unity... ,,, and when the burn out doesnt go away?
I hear you 🙏
Great video, helping yourself and others is a noble thing. Keep going 😀😀😀
Wow I understand myself so much more now
Thank you sweetie!!!!!
Does anyone know where a fawn response would be in the diagram at 0:34?
I love you! *HUGS*
Good video.
You are beautiful and corageous and I wish you love and light
I have burn out a lot.
💙💙
I mask my behaviour a lot when I’m with people I’m not fully comfortable with yet and can have like a mini shut down mid sentence if I give them eye contact or if I’m just overwhelmed but I feel like I need to act my best because of my mask. Does anyone else do this?
💙💙💙
My one huge question is how do you explain your meltdowns and shut downs to your children when you're solo parenting and the other parent thinks they're too young to have to understand "mom's problems"?
Is it true that autstic people are more likley to be tramatized, i have autsim but ptsd as well and its from something that someone may not be as tramatized by
Mona Lisa definitely. at least it was true for me. it's hard to go through all that without support and validation. hoping it helps a little to know others have been there, too.
Shufei ah that makes sense, people think were not empathic, but we have too much empathy, its been proven
Hi
first