Hey! I actually was the original commenter of this theory idea! Thank you so much for using it! Not so thrilled I had to survive eating off of mushrooms and spoiled food, but glad that Theorista and I made it out! (EDIT) I have a video up on my channel proving that this was my comment :)
I bet you could make a video about getting your credit stolen if that's the case! Who knows? Maybe mat could make a video on it! A theory about anonymous people online or how to tell who's who online or in a case where there are twins or some such. Maybe mat could make his last channel about myth busting or figuring out ways to make myths real! (I know it's unrelated to the rest of the comment but it would be a fun idea)
Why I love Matt, he could have found the mushroom thing first and just presented that, but he still did all of the math and calculated everything without it to find the total time based on products alone.
I'm just thinking about matpat going through a grocery store and cataloging every single item in the store for 6 hours, and just being watched by all the staff
Thats just a normal day at my retail store when we are inventoring. The amount of wierd looks we we have to count how many cans of fruit by hand is insane
New staff member: who is this guy? Is he crazy? Should we call the cops? Older staff member: nah that's just matpat. Just leave him be, he'll tire himself out soon
As a grocery store manager i can attest that we would have the whole store at some point walk by and gawk at the idiot counting everything on the shelves... honestly wouldn't be the first time lol
Agree. Food alone may be for survival, but it isn't really a thriving way to live. The man stuck inside may need to do more than eating to be able to truly live that long.
@Emil Ratinen dude. what the heck did you expect from the comments other than people talking about the video Like, then why did you come to the comments anyways
The thing i learned in here No matter how rich we are farming is one of the most needed things to survive and massive respect to those farmers who supply us foods everyday
@@demosthenes995 Another kid younger than Minecraft players adding 'fact'/truth / real to their comment to feel better and get likes from other low iq viewers.
@@eavyeavy2864 i admit im poor but in terms of food production farmers are crucial for people to survive not all people have the skills and knowledge about farming If most people will stop the farming especially wheat most bakeries and pastry shop will force to close and will sky the unemployment and not to mention it will be bad for the nation's economy, and if the economy is falling the number of criminals will sky rocketed and will be hard to control. I admit i am poor but i think more wise and why those farmers are crucial in our daily lives in supplying foods Even your money will be worthless if the economy is falling If we only rely on meat only it will offset the nutritional balance
The mushroom problem also solves boredom- what mushroom could possibly almost entirely from waste? and there’s not law enforcement to reprimand you for it alone in your grocery store.
@@iodicacid2268 With waste or no, the problem is that humans are social creatures, without anyone to talk to, it’s going to be difficult to stay sane there.
@@lamfan3591 true but if you have enough food and water to sustain yourself plus a loved one who you presume is alive, all of those factors help to keep your will high and not go completely insane.
There is one factor you might have forgotten: though the building is not powered, the machines that are not opened can still keep their temperatures for a while, especially if those are well-sealed. This significantly can extend the lifetime of items that are inside refrigerators.
He's smoking and salting the meats regardless of whether or not the fridges could hypothetically keep the meat fresh. Why risk losing the meats when you can just salt and smoke them? Even if Lord Apples's guess is right. You can at most buy yourself 1 week WHILE risking completely destroying your stomach with a bacterial infection. Not a risk worth taking.
The others make good points, but we're also assuming worst case scenario for Evan. those fridges really probably just bought him the time to prepare those foods
@@christiansouthwick4712 well that extra fridge life can be used to extend the time Evan could use dairy products or other frozen foods like pizza. Plus most meat sections aren’t behind doors anyway so they wouldn’t be part of this equation
As a commercial mushroom farmer I love that mushrooms saved Evan. We are at the mercy of mushrooms. They'll either keep us alive or turn us into zombies.
Okay one question though. At 10:53, whilst describing the indefinite shelf life foods, it shows that out of our final 13 years of food, 9.8 years of that is just hard alcohol? Are we meant to assume that Evan is just drinking some hard alcohol with his other meals during the stay or is he spending his final decade on earth just absolutely sloshed?
The most insane thing about this whole video is the fact it took her SIXTY THREE YEARS to find Walmart. I've been to the US and they're easier to find than a US flag in a southern state
Congrats, Evan. You have inspired a youtube video based on living off of a grocery store during the apocalypse. You are truly the best of us to be blessed by the Theorist Himself.
Food theory idea: how to get the most bang for your buck at a buffet. Which items should you eat the most of to maximize your dollar. Which do we avoid because they aren’t cost effective and are too filling to really maximize your meal.
aka how to bankrupt buffets so that they aren't economically viable anymore in 10 years so that you will never be able to take your children to eat at one in the future
Use salt to cure the meats, even smoke them with some furniture wood in a corner. Make vegetables into fertilizer in the bathroom. Find ball, paint face on it and call it bob.
I thought the same thing too for some reason, but I also knew it wasn't the answer because contradictory to what you might think, auto-cannibalism doesn't help. Your body loses more calories from the stress and process of auto-cannibalism than it gains. It's simply not viable.
If this is just the "regular" store than just imagine if it was Costco where they sell things by the boatload. Evan could make a whole society in there
Forgot about all the canning supplies in a grocery store. Considering spoilage you can probably feed 10 people for their entire life in a single grocery store. With all the division of labor probably pretty comfy.
You could watch Glock9's Dishong Tower series, where he takes that tower from '7 days to die' and has an entire series about surviving just inside of it. Trying to grow plants on the roof and all. He even made 2 seasons of it when they reworked the tower.
Fun fact: wet cat and dog food aren't disgusting to eat. They have almost no flavour as they have a high amount of grain in there. It's like...a little bit of meat, lots of grain.
The shitty ones you shouldn't be feeding even to your pets are mostly filler. But the better ones with high meat content are most likely very different
@@danielkellerman8674 well after that many years you would think it would have died down+ his true love can get there safely so clearly there is more than a 0% chance of him surviving out there
@@danielkellerman8674 Perhaps there could be enough material in the store to make actual bombs and ammunition. As for how....it depends on whether or not the store has books for that
In this case, when in doubt, go into a store with an “outdoor” area: those places are most likely to have a section where there are grills, smokers, charcoal, wood, potting soil, produce seeds, and other essentials.
I'll do you one better. I've never seen an apocalypse where a lock of any kind would keep out other survivors (or alien overlords), most of whom will have weapons and will take all your food from you.
It should be noted that Stater Bros. Is also my local grocery store, so I went today to confirm this. No windows. I'm pretty sure Matthew Patthew even addressed this in his "Get in and out!" Grocery store theory, but I can't remember for certain.
Yikes. Poor Evan must have gone insane. Not being able to talk to a person for so long, when humans are naturally social creatures, he would be insane.
There are a few stores with animals for sale. A Walmart near me sells fish. Firstly, he could farm those fish for food, but he could also get comforted by them too. Im also pretty sure that things like drawing and writing to keep you occupied can help too. I think there may be a shop that sells other pets too, but im not sure on that.
Also side note, in theory, Evan doesn't have to eat every single day. The human body can survive about a month before shutting down, so if he really needed to, he could eat every other day, or two days, maybe even every other week (would not recommend though)
I think the idea is to consume calories that would go bad first. It would take 8 years before the need to get into more long term calories such as alcohol arose.
If that's me i would literally mix them with rain water just like medieval people did to their water supply, and use it as sanitizer, can't risk infection lmao
wouldn't he strave or dehydrate a few weeks after? i mean no normal size store has enough Water and anything you can drink that lasts 63 years or did i missunderstand the video?
@@sparklingbeauty95 what if there will be some kind of national holiday making the shop closed for like 3 days so the restocl group would arrive on the night of the 3rd day
And he’s all “screw everyone else, this massive cache of food is ALL mine!”. Hopefully none of those zombie-aliens smell the smoked meats on day 1 through the open window, otherwise Evan ain’t making it very long in there...
She meet Evans best friend and 'survived together' had babies etc and when she finally started getting dementia regressed back to the time she loved Evan wandered off and ended up at the magic grocery store that no one else found zombies didn't break in, the roof didn't fail after 20-30 years of neglect. And Evan was never hurt or fell down and also didn't go stark raving mad....
But will she still want him after 60 years? Maybe she's found somebody else who didn't rely on the remnants of the old world but has set up his own farm to grow new crops. Plus they might have access to streams for easier cleaning!
Evan: **creates a compost pile** Matthew: ...but he dies before dear Theorista can find him. If only there was a way to- Me: **sobbing** Help him, Matt Damon, you’re our only hope!!
Plot twist: Evan is actually stuck in a grocery store and has asked this because he really needs to know how long he has to live Edit: I’ve come back to say that for some reason UA-cam has decided to start giving me notifications on this comment again. Hello everyone how have you been? One year of my biggest comment has been reached, yay.
Imagine 500 years down the line where the entire grocery store is full of different families and multiple houses reside in the small 30,000 ft of the supermarket. There’s a farming district where the produce used to be and people are even branching out to the roof. It is called, Evanland
And after generations the humans living inside literally start to mutate and evolve to compensate for less calorie consumption and higher immune systems to battle the growing germ population in a enclosed space,
This is what I love about theories, it makes me ask so many more questions. Which grocery chain is the best one to look for in an apocalypse? Is bigger better because of more food options or will the halls of food spoil before you can eat them? Most grocery stores are accessible to a large population, so would you have to fight for territory or split rations with your fellow man?
Imagine even finds out theorista was actually killed in front of the locked door because of the zombies while evan was asleep and he just never noticed
Also I feel like the store would have generators so he could hook one of those bad boys up into the freezer and store meat for even longer, and store them in salt to
Theorista is probably an anime protagonist about a journey to the specific grocery store Evan's in, it's been 7 seasons and she is STILL going on a journey to the grocery store Edit: I have come back from the future, season 32 and she still isn't there yet
I work in a grocery store. There's more food than what's on the salesfloor. The backroom is packed with extra food, not only stacked in the bins, but on palettes straight off the truck. Some palettes are just water bottles alone (handy for when city water gets turned off) You also have the entire freight truck to work with if your apocalypse starts right after a delivery. (And miniscule addition, but break rooms usually have vending machines and fridges where employees keep their food)
I’m completely convinced That my life is never wasted watching videos like this, I never knew mushrooms and potatoes could sustain me for years. Thanks MatPat, out here saving lives.
I have a recurring nightmare that I am trapped in a grocery store in the middle of the night. Sometimes there is a sentient wedding cake in there with me that begs me to eat it.
Good to know, thx
WTF
ok
Oh you are going to do it
Oh No 😨😨😨
WTF
As a guy named Evan who has worked in a grocery store, I was thrilled to see this.
Ha epic
@@iammadeoffairydust F
epic
My name is Evan
@@iswiftyfox8997 Cool
I can't imagine how bad a grocery store would smell with all that expired food
Oh hi it’s you again
Lol you r everywhere
every video i go i see his pfp
oh hai mark
freezers.
"Life gave you lemons and you made dehydrated lemons" - Matpat 2021
love that quote
Hey! I actually was the original commenter of this theory idea! Thank you so much for using it! Not so thrilled I had to survive eating off of mushrooms and spoiled food, but glad that Theorista and I made it out!
(EDIT) I have a video up on my channel proving that this was my comment :)
Darn, if thats true someone else might be taking your credit!
The king himself. Or Qween
I hope Matpat gets the whole thing figured out!
I bet you could make a video about getting your credit stolen if that's the case! Who knows? Maybe mat could make a video on it! A theory about anonymous people online or how to tell who's who online or in a case where there are twins or some such. Maybe mat could make his last channel about myth busting or figuring out ways to make myths real! (I know it's unrelated to the rest of the comment but it would be a fun idea)
replying to this so i can save it
yep hes real 😳
Scale this up from a Stater Bros. to a Wal-Mart and you've got a whole garden department full of soil to work with.
I was thinking the same thing
And the added bonus of a lockable, enclosed, but open to sunlight, air, and rain area to do your farming.
"Mmmm, this soil sure tastes really good"
I was thinking this too
It'd need to be a super walmart though, otherwise it wouldn't have everything a typical grocery store does.
Why I love Matt, he could have found the mushroom thing first and just presented that, but he still did all of the math and calculated everything without it to find the total time based on products alone.
ua-cam.com/video/-akeoZOH5GI/v-deo.html
That is true
He's just showing his work 🤣🤣🤣
ua-cam.com/video/B2RfzuTOfeY/v-deo.html
my brother made that for his gf but he died 2 days ago.
Or… he thought of the mushrooms first but needed to stretch out the video…
Watching this video years later is so nostalgic considering this is one of my favourite videos…gonna miss you matpat.
I'm just thinking about matpat going through a grocery store and cataloging every single item in the store for 6 hours, and just being watched by all the staff
Lol as if it was just Matt. Imagine a whole theorist team with walkie talkies and maps.
That's not normal because I do it every single day.
Thats just a normal day at my retail store when we are inventoring. The amount of wierd looks we we have to count how many cans of fruit by hand is insane
New staff member: who is this guy? Is he crazy? Should we call the cops?
Older staff member: nah that's just matpat. Just leave him be, he'll tire himself out soon
As a grocery store manager i can attest that we would have the whole store at some point walk by and gawk at the idiot counting everything on the shelves... honestly wouldn't be the first time lol
Okay but you seriously didn't factor in my lack of self control. All those fruits and snacks and chocolates will be gone so so fast.
my adhd: finally, our battle will be legendary
Or food wastage in general. Living with your own waste and rotting food definitely is a vomit-worthy environment.
Agree. Food alone may be for survival, but it isn't really a thriving way to live. The man stuck inside may need to do more than eating to be able to truly live that long.
Meanwhile I wouldn’t even touch those snacks.
@@whythehellnot6502 vomit=more mushrooms 😂
In the alternate universe where Food Theory is owned by Vault-Tec:
“Let’s lock Luke in a grocery store and see how many days he survives”
That definitely sounds like something they would do
Vault-Tec has lots and lots of crazy ideas, haha.
@@churbum well infinity includes infinite amount of opportunities so...
🅱️🅱️🅱️🅱️🅱️🅱️
ua-cam.com/video/0Xh1XmMhL78/v-deo.html
Fallout!
0:36 that hits different now
this is the best episode on this channel ever. I'm so happy Evan survived to see his true love.
@Emil Ratinen dude.
what the heck did you expect from the comments other than people talking about the video
Like, then why did you come to the comments anyways
Thanks for the spoilers
@@Agent-ud1xw like, DUDE what the heck did you expect from the comments??????
r/facepalm
*Omg I just found the food theorist old deleted video here it is:* ua-cam.com/video/i0h8tD1tckc/v-deo.html
@@sarahwhitelaw3212 Rain Water, limited, but enough to supply 8 sq feet
The thing i learned in here
No matter how rich we are farming is one of the most needed things to survive and massive respect to those farmers who supply us foods everyday
Truth!
ture
Only peasant with no money saying this
@@demosthenes995 Another kid younger than Minecraft players adding 'fact'/truth / real to their comment to feel better and get likes from other low iq viewers.
@@eavyeavy2864 i admit im poor but in terms of food production farmers are crucial for people to survive not all people have the skills and knowledge about farming
If most people will stop the farming especially wheat most bakeries and pastry shop will force to close and will sky the unemployment and not to mention it will be bad for the nation's economy, and if the economy is falling the number of criminals will sky rocketed and will be hard to control.
I admit i am poor but i think more wise and why those farmers are crucial in our daily lives in supplying foods
Even your money will be worthless if the economy is falling
If we only rely on meat only it will offset the nutritional balance
Short answer: waaaaaaaay longer than you would want to.
Or expected. I usually thought like a month, then again I thought it'd be like a homeless guy that just lived in there before being thrown out
I I agree biggreenblob
Everything for theorista
This could be made into a movie
Me tak
We will miss u MatPat.
Yeah…
But Santi is good tho
@@G1_Thundercracker fr
Is he ded
@@cgy.2812 nope
Just retirement
But you can see him at GT Live
@@cgy.2812 No he just quit
alternate story: your mom saw her best friend while shopping.
Lol
@@franzliszt767 fax
Sad but true
i think you mean a friend from collage she hasn't spoken to for years
Opalkit you missed the joke bro 😐
imagine getting your daily caloric intake just from hard liquor for a couple of years lol
Sounds like my kind of year 🤙
Imagine your liver after drinking hard liquor alone for 2 years
@a Distraction ooof
Sounds like my year last year.
My brother in laws dream
I'm more amazed at how she lived for that long honestly with the zombie aliens and, most likely, limited amount of food.
Women don’t need as many calories to live
@@bobcatgaming7492 Unless they're pregnant, then they're eating for at least two.
She put all her skill points into Farming.
@@scrollix1 she will have a kid
In another store
this was so fun to watch, i was waiting sooooo patiently for the gardening to start didnt even think about the absolute wonder that is the mushroom
Man, Evan must be so happy. Food Theory legit wrote a fan fiction of the guy for the episode.
Ahem😏
@@evanthirasack Is that really you?
@@magiguy7897 no Evans name is just Evan and it’s a different profile picture
Yup pretty much
That's not him only two comments
Can we all just thank Evan for this episode? Since this is one of the most interesting episodes imo.
Thank you Evan.
No
No
Never gonna give you up never gonna let you down
Yeah was a pretty cool idea of him.
No problem guys
You’re welcome!
bro this backstory for evan has got me on the edge of my seat faster than a live action drama on netflix lsdjf
I have a question what if every things is edible
What is Isdjf?
@@barrowsarrow6761 keyboard spam
Ooh
The mushroom problem also solves boredom- what mushroom could possibly almost entirely from waste? and there’s not law enforcement to reprimand you for it alone in your grocery store.
Food Theory idea for ya: What candy would be best to build the Witch's house in the story of Hansel and Gretel???
we need them to see this
@《 Yannah Moon《 I think it'd be interesting to see what would be considered the tastiest, longest lasting and most durable against weather.
@《 Yannah Moon《 i read that as "imma report this"...
yeah this is an amazing theory! *reports for bullying*
Yes this one makes a lot of sense too, ill repost also
hard candy and that one rock hard frosting
Unfortunately, Evans trip is not over, as 2 problems come to mind not yet discussed.
1. Dental work
2. Insanity
Grocery stores sell toothpaste and toothbrushes too. Most also have bathrooms and even if they don't, he can use windows to expel his waste.
@@iodicacid2268
With waste or no, the problem is that humans are social creatures, without anyone to talk to, it’s going to be difficult to stay sane there.
@@lamfan3591 true but if you have enough food and water to sustain yourself plus a loved one who you presume is alive, all of those factors help to keep your will high and not go completely insane.
@@lamfan3591 There are probably a lot of books, so he can create a parasocial relationship with the self biography authors.
If evan stops taking his schizophrenia meds found in the pharmacy section of the grocery store, Theorista will return and help make him sane again
Twist: Evan was at the wrong Stater Bros store this whole time. Therista just finally came to look for him once her food dwindled.
:O
Will , that explain a lot of stuff....
Can someone tell me what the link the dude sent goes to
@@CheeseDanishMysteriousness "heavy rain the water overflowed" is what the link goes to.
Yes
0:35 hits different now
After he's gone ?
Yes
Me who doesn't like mushrooms: "Guess I'll die."
Yeah I would last like a year in there since I’m a picky eater
poop mushrooms
@@nelehrivera3095 after a while of being in there tho you'd eat anything
I would've died when it came to dog food..
@@innovateandinvest fecal hehe
There is one factor you might have forgotten: though the building is not powered, the machines that are not opened can still keep their temperatures for a while, especially if those are well-sealed. This significantly can extend the lifetime of items that are inside refrigerators.
I'd say a week at most, theyre not perfectly air tight
@@lordapples but as MatPat said at 6:07 “Extra time is Extra time.”
He's smoking and salting the meats regardless of whether or not the fridges could hypothetically keep the meat fresh.
Why risk losing the meats when you can just salt and smoke them?
Even if Lord Apples's guess is right. You can at most buy yourself 1 week WHILE risking completely destroying your stomach with a bacterial infection.
Not a risk worth taking.
The others make good points, but we're also assuming worst case scenario for Evan. those fridges really probably just bought him the time to prepare those foods
@@christiansouthwick4712 well that extra fridge life can be used to extend the time Evan could use dairy products or other frozen foods like pizza. Plus most meat sections aren’t behind doors anyway so they wouldn’t be part of this equation
As a commercial mushroom farmer I love that mushrooms saved Evan. We are at the mercy of mushrooms. They'll either keep us alive or turn us into zombies.
*cue acoustic guitar music*
Go, commercial mushroom farmer, save the world just like in your dreams!
*Omg I just found the food theorist old deleted video here it is:* ua-cam.com/video/i0h8tD1tckc/v-deo.html
@@riskyy2657 @Riskyy if its a deleted video how do you have it?
@@riskyy2657 stop posting links on videos, no one likes it
Okay one question though. At 10:53, whilst describing the indefinite shelf life foods, it shows that out of our final 13 years of food, 9.8 years of that is just hard alcohol? Are we meant to assume that Evan is just drinking some hard alcohol with his other meals during the stay or is he spending his final decade on earth just absolutely sloshed?
The most insane thing about this whole video is the fact it took her SIXTY THREE YEARS to find Walmart. I've been to the US and they're easier to find than a US flag in a southern state
😂 underrated comment
Hi Patterz.
Well, depends on what southern state were talking about, where I unfortunately live theres about 10 flags her square football field
it wasnt a walmart
@@diamonddynamite1557 They said that for reference. Too many people can't take jokes
Evan is the guy we need in the horror movies, meaning someone actually smart and quick minded.
but then there's no gruesome deaths
Yeah but anyone here heard of SCP 3008 "The infinite ikea"
Yea
Thanks
You should watch the Martian. Not a horror or apocalypse movie. But there is quick thinking
Congrats, Evan. You have inspired a youtube video based on living off of a grocery store during the apocalypse. You are truly the best of us to be blessed by the Theorist Himself.
Exactly
Yep
@@shikoshiko5912 no
Where is Even? Is he here? Is he alright?
HIS NAME WAS EVAN
Vinegar + milk means cheese which can last longer
Food theory idea: how to get the most bang for your buck at a buffet. Which items should you eat the most of to maximize your dollar. Which do we avoid because they aren’t cost effective and are too filling to really maximize your meal.
this ^^
ua-cam.com/video/JmQJ-xRNPvY/v-deo.html.........
Please do it
Mat DO IT
aka how to bankrupt buffets so that they aren't economically viable anymore in 10 years so that you will never be able to take your children to eat at one in the future
OK so this is why my grocery store sold out of all their mushrooms, people thinking the world is ending I guess. 🤷♂️
Just eat all the meat first
Hey does anyone think he should make a ronald McDonald Vs. KERNEL SANDERS? Who would win?
@@thesaxywaffle1232 kernel is dead he’s just an old man McDonald is a menacing clown while kernel could be defeated by falling down the stairs
ua-cam.com/video/mFIoxH4ACSc/v-deo.html
@@SLAMB0T 😐
My man Evan finally get to meet the love of his life at the age of probably 80. Worth it
Evan was clearly immortal so no big.
Not immortal, he starved to death
@@Qualman701 until he didn't!
True, very true
U read my mind
Use salt to cure the meats, even smoke them with some furniture wood in a corner.
Make vegetables into fertilizer in the bathroom.
Find ball, paint face on it and call it bob.
All right everyone! In the event of a zombie alien apocalypse we will all meet in a mushroom theme Superstore with the maximum survival time
What if evan/we where DEATHLY allergic to mushrooms?
@@JuniorGamer783 guess ill just die
YEA WE CAN SURVIVE
don't. or at least not now, more people takes less time to consume more food so not-so-mushroom stores are gonna worth more
"Evan still has one last card to play."
I could have sworn he was going to say auto-canniblism.
I thought the same thing too for some reason, but I also knew it wasn't the answer because contradictory to what you might think, auto-cannibalism doesn't help. Your body loses more calories from the stress and process of auto-cannibalism than it gains. It's simply not viable.
Me too
@@williaml.2846 I think game theory covered it in a video at one point but I don't remember
same
@@jakewines3068 I've seen it in a Vsauce video
If this is just the "regular" store than just imagine if it was Costco where they sell things by the boatload. Evan could make a whole society in there
Good to know, thx
Provided he’s smart with his management of course
he could rule his costco empire.
I have a huuuuuge supermarket near my house called D Mart. Evan could actually establish an entirely new race there😂
Is this where the infinite ikea SCP came from?
Forgot about all the canning supplies in a grocery store. Considering spoilage you can probably feed 10 people for their entire life in a single grocery store. With all the division of labor probably pretty comfy.
Dude, you should turn this into a video game. Sounds super fun trying to figure out the best way to survive.
Ye
You could watch Glock9's Dishong Tower series, where he takes that tower from '7 days to die' and has an entire series about surviving just inside of it. Trying to grow plants on the roof and all. He even made 2 seasons of it when they reworked the tower.
Or you could try calculate
RIGHT?! Or a show/movie even!
Bird box had this opportunity
I like to think that Evan is somehow in this scenario and he wrote the question as a cry for help.
HAHAHA
Lmao 🤣
GX
Pahahaha. xD
The ultimate 'asking for a friend'
Evan (the irl yt account) must feel like a legend now.
Hey satan... I know I owe you a couple million souls, but can I pay off some of that debt?
@@maryrimba6876 I pretty sure I know what that is
@@ato6287 no it's not.
@@malemsgm1624 what is it then?
@@Fahrenheit2k7 a music video
Fun fact: wet cat and dog food aren't disgusting to eat. They have almost no flavour as they have a high amount of grain in there. It's like...a little bit of meat, lots of grain.
Wow
The shitty ones you shouldn't be feeding even to your pets are mostly filler. But the better ones with high meat content are most likely very different
I KNEW they had to be delicious! :D
How did you find this out??
@@rentisme .....just have a little nibble.... :D
I love how Evan has a window readily available to escape out of in his final hours but just... doesnt
Have you forgotten the Zombie Aliens?
@@danielkellerman8674 well after that many years you would think it would have died down+ his true love can get there safely so clearly there is more than a 0% chance of him surviving out there
@@taco.lovin.dude.2087 he was waiting for Theorista tho...
But... ALIEN ZOMBIES!!!
@@danielkellerman8674 Perhaps there could be enough material in the store to make actual bombs and ammunition. As for how....it depends on whether or not the store has books for that
In this case, when in doubt, go into a store with an “outdoor” area: those places are most likely to have a section where there are grills, smokers, charcoal, wood, potting soil, produce seeds, and other essentials.
walmart
Actually you only need to be a store with a hot food area. They will have places to cook back there.
@@Jaslath but it’s under the assumption there’s no electricity
@@MorinozukaTakashi123 Ah. Gotcha. Thanks for the clarification.
That might cause co2 Poisoning, actually in loses for sure it would cause carbon monoxide poisoning
Me dying in this scenario because im too picky to eat mushrooms and half the food 😂
me too 🤣
There's just one teensy problem with this theory....
I've never been in a grocery store with a window. Evan dies of smoked lung.
I'll do you one better. I've never seen an apocalypse where a lock of any kind would keep out other survivors (or alien overlords), most of whom will have weapons and will take all your food from you.
It should be noted that Stater Bros. Is also my local grocery store, so I went today to confirm this. No windows.
I'm pretty sure Matthew Patthew even addressed this in his "Get in and out!" Grocery store theory, but I can't remember for certain.
There is windows/doors in front and In the back
@@MrSurabane its america you can buy a tank in the grocery store =/
@@desireemackenzie1363You're right. I just meant windows that can open.
Yikes. Poor Evan must have gone insane. Not being able to talk to a person for so long, when humans are naturally social creatures, he would be insane.
He probably talked to the displays
There are a few stores with animals for sale. A Walmart near me sells fish. Firstly, he could farm those fish for food, but he could also get comforted by them too. Im also pretty sure that things like drawing and writing to keep you occupied can help too. I think there may be a shop that sells other pets too, but im not sure on that.
@@robin3771
Depending on the shop, he could have access to clothing mannequins.
He talked to the food
@@PerovNigma Is this an umbrella academy reference?
i legitimately got so sad whenever i heard evan wouldnt ever be able to see his beloved theorista
Same
Same
did... did you not finish the video?
Also side note, in theory, Evan doesn't have to eat every single day. The human body can survive about a month before shutting down, so if he really needed to, he could eat every other day, or two days, maybe even every other week (would not recommend though)
11:56
In that small pause, I thought Theorista was gonna cannibalize Evan.💀
Wht i am a cannbali oh no The popo and FIB and The us amy oh no good bye you and my mom and dad
LOL me too
I thought he will eat her moments before death
Hunger games Titus
same
I love how Evan only starts on hard alcohol after 8 years into a zombie alien apocalypse. I wouldn't have lasted the weekend.
I would die in a hour
I think the idea is to consume calories that would go bad first. It would take 8 years before the need to get into more long term calories such as alcohol arose.
of course, I am likely explaining the obvious, and missing the joke entirely.
If that's me i would literally mix them with rain water just like medieval people did to their water supply, and use it as sanitizer, can't risk infection lmao
ngl, i would die in minutes
Theoretically, he could survive even longer by reducing his calorie intake to just enough to keep him alive
But after a while wouldn’t he suffer from malnutrition ?
@@Alonzi. that’s why you eat when that happenes
wouldn't he strave or dehydrate a few weeks after?
i mean no normal size store has enough Water and anything you can drink that lasts 63 years
or did i missunderstand the video?
@Thuvanun well that depends where the store is though if it is in the desert well let me say you have a problem maybe
@@ebenen36 Why would there be a store in a desert?
I like how you added a story and everything, very neat.
It kind of feels like Evan trained his whole life for this exact situation.
Ikr
Not sure how you train that, but I think he trained for that situation
FILM THEORY! Evan is made up
Not related at all but nagito PFP ❤️❤️❤️
Ikr
Every time I’m in the supermarket I always imagine what we’re to happen if I get locked in there overnight
realistic answer, from someone who has worked in a grocery store, most have night shift workers there to restock! so likely you wouldn’t :)
@@sparklingbeauty95 what if there will be some kind of national holiday making the shop closed for like 3 days so the restocl group would arrive on the night of the 3rd day
Early Evan: eat vitamins because we need amino acids
Late Evan: survive for decades on popcorn kernels and grey goose
Pp
Hey your likes are the devils number so imma like so it’s not the devils number
@@thecleetusfromanimalcrossi6685 nicw
I mean they do taste good
Vitamins contain zero amino acids. Protein powders do. Not vitamins.
Hey here's a food theory are brains edible
it is admirable how committed Evan is to living for decades inside a grocery store during an apocalypse
’.m ՏᑌᗷᗷIᑎᘜ TO EVERYOᑎᗴ ᗯᕼO ᒪIKᗴ'Տ TᕼIՏ ᑕOᗰᗰᗴᑎT ᗩᑎᗪ ՏᑌᗷՏ.....
And he’s all “screw everyone else, this massive cache of food is ALL mine!”.
Hopefully none of those zombie-aliens smell the smoked meats on day 1 through the open window, otherwise Evan ain’t making it very long in there...
@@stephen3164 LOL
@@stephen3164 but there is alot of stuff he can hit the aliens with
Madison from Zombieland did it🥴💅
Curious to how Theorista survived longer than Evan. Seems she got the better end of the deal by having power and water lol
She really left evans hanging
She meet Evans best friend and 'survived together' had babies etc and when she finally started getting dementia regressed back to the time she loved Evan wandered off and ended up at the magic grocery store that no one else found zombies didn't break in, the roof didn't fail after 20-30 years of neglect. And Evan was never hurt or fell down and also didn't go stark raving mad....
@@SageForsaken wow, I watch that movie.
I'm more confused why the zombie aliens didn't come in through the open window and eat Evan on day one 🤔
Probably
I bet theorista took 63 years because she went to the wrong Stater Bros and went looking for him when her food ran out because she didn’t farm.
But that’s just a theory...
@@SwisherlllSweet a fOOD THEORY
But will she still want him after 60 years? Maybe she's found somebody else who didn't rely on the remnants of the old world but has set up his own farm to grow new crops. Plus they might have access to streams for easier cleaning!
63.3
@@johnpotts8308 we all know that Stater Bros love is forever
The fact Mr beast made a vid 3 months ago giving 10,000 dollars for every day they survive in a grocery store what a coincidence ???
The amount of effort that MatPat does and always has put into his work never fails to amaze me
@Van To *shut*
@Van To the
@Van To Uppiny
@Van To shut up scumbag
*Hazbin Hotel Theory Video Intensifes*
Props to Matt for running literally 3 channels and being able to keep constant videos coming out, not to mention the effort he puts into these videos
4
also doesn't include his numbers are most defiantly wayyyyyyyy off
@@matthewcollien5540 What do you mean?
@@matthewcollien5540 proof
@@matthewcollien5540 right, e.g. merchandise stored in storage outside of customer's reach
Low key thought it would be a “Tangled” ending when Theorista shed a tear
I thought it was gonna be autocannibalism. My brain is dark.
XD My thoughts exactly
Pfp?
I kinda thought Evan was the plant smh
wait if you think about it there is more dirt UNDER the soil.
Now imagine doing this in a Costco 😳 you could restart all of humanity with the amount of resources and space in one of those
Ok, but Ikea is so much of a habitat that SCP-3008 exists. There's enough food and protection in there to start an entire tribe.
Hey my name is Dillon too
@@Starlightnova111 ikea has a cafe and thats it, what are you talking about.
You could even build a home in one of those. It has THAT much.
@@fatpenguin0089 its a scp called infinite ikea its food respawns
Evan: **creates a compost pile**
Matthew: ...but he dies before dear Theorista can find him. If only there was a way to-
Me: **sobbing** Help him, Matt Damon, you’re our only hope!!
lol
glad someone made that referance, this is like the Martian but in a grocery store
literally what I was thinking, lol
His name is Mathew patrick
@@jtiumproductions7629 exactly lol
@@JessTMess you misunderstood
Plot Twist: The reason Theorista was so late was because she was trying to find the right Stater Bros grocery store to meet him in.
@@shikoshiko5912 why are you linking random videos in the comment section of a food theory?
@@xdflame7712 probably a bot
O my goshness what if...
Oh wow shiko shiko comment is gone... Is it because everyone is flagging it?
@@guaplei1 yea its a bot that is spamming every comment
0:35 this line hits way harder now
Plot twist: Evan is actually
stuck in a grocery store and has asked this because he really needs to know how long he has to live
Edit: I’ve come back to say that for some reason UA-cam has decided to start giving me notifications on this comment again. Hello everyone how have you been? One year of my biggest comment has been reached, yay.
*Evan
But what about Odd?
Evan*
@@Zeturic that is terrible and hilarious joke
@@Zeturic Odd is the Therista of the story. Don't worry, Odd'll be fine.
Imagine 500 years down the line where the entire grocery store is full of different families and multiple houses reside in the small 30,000 ft of the supermarket. There’s a farming district where the produce used to be and people are even branching out to the roof. It is called, Evanland
So basically:
Infinite IKEA
@@arksigma7709 Wait, People can have birth in that place?
And after generations the humans living inside literally start to mutate and evolve to compensate for less calorie consumption and higher immune systems to battle the growing germ population in a enclosed space,
Evanland is eternal!
@@arksigma7709 yos
This was such an interesting theory, I’m about to send this to my boss at work, “I work at Publix”
Meet Arnold did this too awhile ago
I too work at publix
@@TheCrusader20007 compare 14 mins to 2
@@TheCrusader20007 Yep
Man your boss would be confused
This is what I love about theories, it makes me ask so many more questions. Which grocery chain is the best one to look for in an apocalypse? Is bigger better because of more food options or will the halls of food spoil before you can eat them? Most grocery stores are accessible to a large population, so would you have to fight for territory or split rations with your fellow man?
Imagine even finds out theorista was actually killed in front of the locked door because of the zombies while evan was asleep and he just never noticed
... on Day 1.
Messed up!!!
she did have a key tho but lol that would be sad
U mean the alien zombies?
@@TheGameChallenger lol imagine it gets rusted shut tho and theorista stares at the unconscious evan while she gets slowly eaten by the zombies
Food Spoiling? Clearly you have forgotten about the All Mighty Twinky.
E
E
E
E
E
NGL when Theorista leaned over him and the narration said "Unless...?" My first thought was "Oh, cannibalism."
Yeah same, I was expecting her to eat him
@@KaizerKlash111 Great minds think alike. And I thought she was going to use some of Evan's body as compost.
@@JamesMC04 911
SAME
Hahaha don't eat me please ahhh
Matpat will be missed
Yeah, he will
This channel is the definition of me overthinking everything at 3am
🤣
Same
Pretty much
Sameee
Same. Like right now :/
I'm kinda surprised Mat hasn't done a 'what is the best food to eat during a zombie apocalypse' or something :)
He made a video on what you can eat during a "fallout" situation so it's close enough I think
Yes
@@ultimatehaki1 not a zombie apocalypse but still
Best food to eat during a zombie apocalypse: Brains.
What? I want to be on the winning side.
Just for $h!ts and grins, are we talkin' quantity, shelf life, or nutritional values in general? Or a combination of all three? : )
I get hype to watch your videos
Same
Same
Same
Same
What
Also I feel like the store would have generators so he could hook one of those bad boys up into the freezer and store meat for even longer, and store them in salt to
Yes but that depends on how much gas you have in store to keep those generators running
Alternate question: how quickly could you get liver failure from the alcohol isle
i wanna hear this
Speedrun idea
Id give it ten minutes
Thanks for 200 likes
Day 1, i mean, you take the heaviest alcohol and just chug, probably will only take a few hours
Theorista is probably an anime protagonist about a journey to the specific grocery store Evan's in, it's been 7 seasons and she is STILL going on a journey to the grocery store
Edit: I have come back from the future, season 32 and she still isn't there yet
One Piece
Sounds like my dad
Thats once piece
lol
@@majin_killa NO YOU CAN'T SAY THAT NOOOO
Evan: *Running out of food*
Mushrooms: Come, this is no place to die
Mushrooms: come with me if you want to live
Mario would be proud
Mushrooms: *Dies because it gets eaten*
Ironic since mushrooms feed off corpses(sort of)
Yes
Ok, Matt, since you’re so good at theorising (seriously, you are), what came first? The chicken or me (the egg)?
I work in a grocery store. There's more food than what's on the salesfloor. The backroom is packed with extra food, not only stacked in the bins, but on palettes straight off the truck. Some palettes are just water bottles alone (handy for when city water gets turned off) You also have the entire freight truck to work with if your apocalypse starts right after a delivery.
(And miniscule addition, but break rooms usually have vending machines and fridges where employees keep their food)
When you said "the backroom" I swear I thought you meant "the backrooms", the game
Good point.
My dad is a truck driver, this can also go the other way. Sometimes they'll fill isles with soda when supplies are short
Honestly, you could just waltz into your supervisor's office and order a pizza whenever you wanted as well.
I work in a grocery store as well. ;3
Thank you
Give a man a store full of food he will starve in 63 years.
Teach a man how to farm and he never go hungry.
unless theres a drought, flood, hurricane, tornado, or tsunami that gets the farm
@@surya9557 not hard to salvage what you can and replant 👍🏼
@ledor Bloodraven well said
@@aubrisfox what if it lights on fire
I’m completely convinced That my life is never wasted watching videos like this, I never knew mushrooms and potatoes could sustain me for years. Thanks MatPat, out here saving lives.
My poor family: Take notes! Take Notes!
THIS IS WHAT WE PAY FARMERS TO DO!
Lmfao dude you can just search the exact same thing in google.
@@hurjireepz7021 who would do that?
@@ngwingman7899 Uhhh... people with common sense.
This is by far the best food theory video
I learned 2 things from this video:
1. Always carry a can opener.
2. Mushrooms and potatoes for dinner are perfectly acceptable.
The Grocery store has can openers.
@@iche9373 yes
Water
@@pika3207 you can get water in said store
@@Leblob2 it will run out cuz of not paid bills
I have a recurring nightmare that I am trapped in a grocery store in the middle of the night. Sometimes there is a sentient wedding cake in there with me that begs me to eat it.
ua-cam.com/video/JmQJ-xRNPvY/v-deo.html.....
Are you lonely for a partner? I have a strange feeling that is the root of the wedding cake.
@@SCP_Wandsman13_13 I have a fear of commitment, and the cake is clearly a monster that I do not want to eat.
The grocery store is like a maze.
All hail the wedding cake, bringer of yum yum, true reason of weddings.
Imagine asking Matpat a hypothetical question and he writes a well researched fanfiction of you in a post-apocalyptic world.
ikr
Please make that happen👀
that already happened to Evan, so it might happen to you/me one day
I think I'm hungry, I keep thinking words in comments say eat, consume, and food when they use completely different words
@@CivilBeachDiamond ...are we the same person?
Food theory idea:how long does it take to cook twenty thousand cookies????????
MatPat: *Does complex calculations to figure out how many calories are in a grocery store*
Also MatPat: "Just open a window for water."
well the question is answered xD
Plot twist: acid rain
@@itsben5033 or radioactive fallout
ua-cam.com/video/StCAcI1w1gg/v-deo.html
What if zombie aliens come in on the window