The advice for us to "leave our machismo home, when we carry a lethal weapon" is 💯 % ABSOLUTELY SPOT-ON! Having carried a sidearm for 30 years, for both work & now as a lawfully armed private citizen, I have honestly been convinced, beyond any doubt, that *"DISCRETION IS THE BETTER PART OF VALOR!* Great video Mr. Ayoob, thank you. God bless.
Several years ago I was in a rush missed breakfast at the hotel and had to hit the closest drive thru. Getting in line, a large truck was behind me. A short round male who i guess had to make a pit stop came out from inside the restaurant swapped places with the woman who was driving. All at once he got overly animated, screaming cussing hanging out the window. I realized his anger was directed at me. I had cut in the line. Screaming at me while i placed my order, pulling to the window the clerk expressed his concern. I gave him my card and waited as he took their order. I told the clerk I would pay for their food, and asked he tell them i was sorry. Smiling he told me he would. Pulling up to the pay window and finding out I paid seem to enrage him further. Unlike his companion who subdued herself. Getting my order the other clerk apologized said she could not believe I paid for them. Pulling away he flipped me off. Apologetically the female in the passenger seat waived. I had done my best to garner witnesses and de-escalate. You see I was fully kitted out for a 3 gun competition. Oversleeping i had to put on my rig and ALL my mags right after I checked out. God forbid and I thank god NOTHING happened. The best conflict is the one you avoid.
Both people were assholes. I am unnaturally polite while in society. It is not a weakness; it takes great strength to turn the other cheek. No one had to die that night.
@@craigbenz4835 Yea, I've been thinking Jimmy's response over for a while. This I do know, when push comes to shove you have to shut the shit down. Lot more painful if you let it linger. Maybe he'll get back to us. It's not about bravado, it's about keeping others alive. As I've aged, not going to duke it out, just get them on the ground and tear them up or stay fast as fuck and hit hit Hit hit We're useless if we're dead, a burden if we're dying. Decisions must be made. 😂Just because time slowed, doesn't make you one bit faster. Hope he'll correct me if I missed the mark.
Unfortunately many people think of meekness as weakness. Meekness is power under control. One man likened it to a '69 Dodge Super Bee with a 440 6-pack engine, sitting at a traffic light. It has the power to spin its tires and create a smoke cloud of burning rubber, but instead, the driver eases through the intersection in a controlled manner. He knows he has the power, but feels no need to demonstrate it; he doesn't have to prove anything.
That was a good debrief. It brought to light a couple of exculpatory facts the press left out concerning Mr Reeves. I did not know he had received a blow to the face with a blunt object from a much larger and younger opponent. The press made seem as though the aggressor merely threw popcorn in the face of Mr Reeves and Mr Reeves grossly over reacted. Yet, another reason to regard information from many press sources with skepticism.
Ya don’t get to shoot someone who’s bigger and stronger cuz they throw phone at ya. Sometimes ya just get in a fight. If your wronged by that then sue. Guy who shot was just as big as an a hole as the other guy. He could have sat somewhere else. Guy was probably itching to shoot someone.
The media leaves as much out as they can when they talk about self defense shootings, because what's important to them is the shooting itself. And the less reasons for the shooting, the better they can push their narrative.
Thank you Mas! This concept is so simple, yet people just don't get it. I had this figured out a long time ago, and my main motivation was fear of legal consequences. I will gladly inconvenience myself to avoid conflict any day. First thing is avoidance. Don't go where there might be trouble. I no longer go to any event, especially where alcohol is served. If someone wants my place in line, or my parking spot, I gladly let them have it. No words, no gestures. Easy come, easy go. Sure I get pissed at people, but at the end of the day I'm going home. Not to jail or a courtroom. Swallow your damn pride. Let the other guy 'win'. Some people see this as a weakness. I see it as being smart. Conflict isn't worth it
Thank you, Mr. Ayoob. One can never be reminded often enough to have the mindset not to start an issue with another and have the humility to de-escalate a volatile situation no matter whose fault it is. Keep your cool, be the one that stops it right in its tracks if you are able to. The alternative may lead to a lifetime of heartache, and prison. Romans 12:18 "If possible, as far as it depends upon YOU, be peaceable with all men."
Carrying a firearm for personal protection is a great responsibility. We must know when it's time to take the high road and leave a escalating situation. Great video and great advice.
Avoidance is the key. Do not put yourself in situations that compromise your safety. Act with extreme prejudice only when all other options are exhausted.
This is good advice. BUT in US urban areas, aggressive behavior or "citizens in crisis" can pop up. Excited delirium is now more common. Be aware of those danger signs too.
Massad, you and WC need to repeat this often; just as we go to the range and dryfire to build muscle memory, we should hear lessons like this more often
@@alexbernstein362 You were dealing with people that wanted to be offended. No apology from would have ever sufficed, THAT likely would have escalated them to further hysterics.
As a retired police captain in my mid 70s that carries a .380 this hits close to home. While we no longer go to the movies we are out and about quite a bit and I do my best to avoid trouble. Thanks for posting this, it serves as a good reminder.
Reeves litterly started the SWAT-SRT unit in Tampa. He was also a security supervisor, exec at SeaWorld Busch Gardens. He was found not guilty in his case. Another FL incident: FL vs Michael Drejka ended with Drejka having a conviction. This was the tragic ♿️ space shooting. Drejka made several errors, bad choices which lead to a FL jury convicting him. 📂
Totally on board with Mr. Ayoob here. I've always been an easygoing and peaceable sort of guy. What I noticed when I started carrying was how much MORE peaceable and easygoing I became, plus how much more observant of the world around me. If you're carrying, you simply can't *afford* to get involved in any foolishness. If I do have a fight, it's going to be because someone is actively trying to kill or severely injure me, *and* I don't have any way to get out of the situation. And that's about as bad as things can possibly get, I think.
Its been a long time since I read it. If it wasn't "In The Gravest Extreme", it was in something Mas wrote in one of the rags way back then. He was in a bad part of town, approached by a group of individuals obviously bent on victimizing him. Before they were within critical closing distance, Mas pulls out a match book with a $20 bill rubber banded around it and tosses it toward the miscreants. He makes a statement that he wants no trouble and invites the group to enjoy libations on him. Fortunately, that $20 was received well and the situation effectively deescalated. Mas, I believe was carrying a .38 revolver and was perfectly capable and prepared to defend himself. But as he stated, it was a huge return on the $20 investment if the cost of defending himself in court for shooting those punks was considered. That story has stuck with me for damn near 40 years now. You have made a difference in this world, Mr. Ayoob. You truly have.
I was in a domestic violence situation couple years back 04-2021. No prior record, never arrested. Served 8 years in the USMC and medically retired because of my injuries (Full disclosure I was born in a bar). I am and will likely will be forever on morphine due to chronic back pain. My ex decided to pick up the bottle after 10 years sober. At first she had no problem and wasn’t an issue. Years go by and it was a huge problem. The climax came over the course of two days when she was out of her mind and started poking the bear so to speak. I let it go and go until I physically receipted which caused her to fall and break her elbow. The 5.0 were called and I was hauled away. Not knowing at that time my problems only just started. The apex being a PFA was issued, my gun collection was confiscated and I was kicked out of my house for 54 weeks (my house before marriage). Divorce was filed. I had to go mental evaluation by a shrink ordered by the judge. I was even facing at first A&B. During the initial PFA was ex’s character came into question. DA tried to slip me pleading to crimes of violence since PA doesn’t have DV statute. Telling him to go pound sand I’ll see him in court b/c at that point I got nothing to lose. I was giving 2 MisD DC and 2 years PFA with probation and drug and alcohol counseling. The short and skinny is I’m back in my house 6 months ago. Divorce is being finalized and as of now between civil and divorce lawyers I’ve spent right around $25K since all this started. The take away here (and I get this all the time) is to walk away. In my case I couldn’t do that. It was in my house you just can’t walk away from where you live and are married with. The problem is waiting for you when you get back. I’ve learned from my story and this video is their are just some people in life you MUST stay away from period. At any and all costs and situations. From the very beginning. It’s usually you that has much more to loose than the other person. I lost a lot but I almost lost everything forever due to someone else’s initial actions and my secondary ones. I get my gun collection back 03-2024 and I can apply to have my record expunged 03-2032. Please if you reading this learn from my mistakes so you don’t go through what I did.
This reminds me of a story I heard about a guy who got into a fight outside a bar. The hit a guy who then fell and hit his head on the curb and died. He did like 30 years in prison. His best friend started teaching self defense and the first and last class of his courses are de-escalation. He does 2 classes on it because he said it changes your life more than anything.
Actor & comic: Kevin James 🎙 worked as a bouncer many years ago, 1990s. He had a co-worker beat a man savagely, the guy hit his head on a curb, got a TBI 🧠, died in a ICU. James says the bouncer was charged & convicted, felony.
I am a retired officer, investigator, and instructor and I am now a civilian instructor. I use this case in my segment on de-escalation. Bottom line is both could’ve walked away. They were plenty of seats in the house as you said. Avoidance of danger is always preferable to an armed encounter.
Thanks again Massad, Your videos have always been very educational and interesting, I am a retired construction worker from the Chicago area and met a man on a job site who knew you on a personal level and he talked about how much of a good man you are.
I think that using your cell phone in a movie theatre while the movie has started and especially after someone has asked you to turn it off just shows the level of disrespect people have nowadays for just about everything.
Agreed, but why Mr. Reeves would take that as a reason to escalate a banal situation, especially when Mr. Reeves _knew_ he had a gun on him, is also troubling.
Sir, I have been learning from you for the past 40 years or so. You don't know how much good your books, articles and videos have helped others. Thanks.
Once again, great solid advice for all cc situations. I would also add that in driving situations where you would encounter someone cutting you off, flipping them the bird or cursing them at the next red light is not the proper etiquette of a cc citizen, it’s best to throttle back and let the person cutting you off move on ahead instead of potentially escalating the situation. Thanks for your sound advice and happy holidays to you and everyone! 🙂🇺🇸
Great. I will work on it. I will try to be nice and inoffensive. You are absolutely correct. An ounce of prevention is worth much more than a pound of cure.
Great video. Thanks. I learned about this in 1960, if I remember right in a bar in Germany. A group of GIs got upset with 3 young guys, me and my brother and one other older guy (15, 17 and 18or 19). They began to get aggressive with the oldest guy and he proceeded to talk our way out of trouble. There were no guns, but broken beer bottles. If I remember right all he said is "Wait, can we talk?" And we exited ASAP. So my first response is always to try and talk my way out of trouble. And I avoid bars.
As always, great advice to avoid the use of deadly force whenever possible, and when not, to ensure your actions are defensible in a court of law. Can’t thank you enough for the lessons!
Great lesson Mas. Swallowing one's ego or pride is a lot more palatable than years behind bars. It just isn't worth it. Walk away from the unreasonable. Live another day, fight the good fight not the pointless one.
Nah, brah it's not about swallowing shit. It's about controlling yourself. Just walk away if you can't work through it verbally. 🤣I've been called a lot of things, instigator has not been one.
This is an awesome video. I recently exited my home on my way to work. I was armed with my CCW. As I exited my vehicle I noticed a man across the street standing on the sidewalk in front of my neighbors home and although he appeared a little fidgety I didn’t recognize that anything was really wrong. As I approached my vehicle this same man called out to me. I turned to face him and acknowledging his call to me. What ensued was something that I didn’t expect. As it turned out, this man had been engaged in a verbal dispute with my neighbor (unbeknownst to me initially) and was looking to re-engage my neighbor as he stated to “finish the argument” and he was demanding that I assist him by going to knock on my neighbor’s door to get him to come out so he could renegade him. This man who turned out to be about half the age of either me or my neighbor was demanding my assistance. Of I declined his request and I tried to encourage him to either let the matter go or if he felt some criminal act had taken place against to call the police or as I offered, I’d call the police for him. Being a behavioral health professional, I have had training in deescalation of agitated people. However, despite using my best techniques the man was only marginally responsive to my efforts. In fact at one point he threatened to take out his frustrations on me and even started to approach me to the point where my only options of retreat would have been to run onto adjacent property, try to jump into my vehicle and drive away before he could get close enough to harm me, call police or, as a last resort either have to fight him off or apply the use of deadly force. Upon hearing that statement, my CCW training kicked in and I did not seek to say or do anything to escalate or provoke him more. I did pull my cell phone, told him that I would call police if he kept approaching which caused him to stop his advance. I made sure I kept my calm and my wits, I didn’t raise my voice as he was already pretty amped up. I kept calm tones, I politely told him that I was ending the conversation as I needed to leave and disengaged from the conversation. I kept him clearly in eyesight as he walked away. I was never really in fear for my life or safety during the encounter and my CCW stayed exactly where it should have, in my holster. I’m glad I didn’t have to draw my CCW and use it defend myself. I would have if i felt in imminent threat of harm. I saw no weapon although being younger bigger than me, his ability to impose harm on me would be asymmetrical to my ability to repel his attack, he never came within a proximity to me to make me feel he posed an imminent threat. His verbal threat to impose punishment on me for what happened between him and my neighbor was insufficient for me to use deadly force because he made no attempt to carry out the threat and he was never in close enough proximity to me, to execute his threat. I remember our CCW instructor emphasizing situational awareness as being critical being able to keep ourselves safe but prepared to react in proportion to an actual or implied threat of death or great bodily harm.
Great lesson Mr. Ayoob. Thank you again as always. I saw this local video just tonight, before seeing your video on the topic of de-escalation from a year ago. I thought the de-escalation on the part of the Pima County Sheriff Deputies was superb, as was their officer presence and decision making. Calm voices, point officer giving almost all communication with the suspect, calm demeanors, etc. Unfortunately, they had to make a justified decision to use deadly force because they were attacked with deadly force. There is so much to learn from this Tucson, Arizona video, and one of those lessons is that things might go south despite the officers' best efforts. And very quickly. I hope this share from me can help your future lessons to us all. You've been my mentor for about 40 years now and I've been retired for a a nice chunk of it. I didn't always KNOW you were my mentor until later, when I saw your writings and then videos, and said to myself "That's where my LEO training came from". Thank you, sir! God bless! ua-cam.com/video/q-SA22Vz-rk/v-deo.html
I live in Tampa and followed this case from the beginning. I was surprised when Reeves was acquitted but like you said he didn’t strike the first blow. A lot of stupidity to go around on both sides. Great video.
As those who are lawfully armed excersizing the right of defense, we must always remember that we have been bestowed a tool of both life and death. Therefore, we should aim to carry ourselves with diplomacy as we represent this. Always excersizing etiquette, compassion, and wisdom among our community with the ability to show restraint, as the ability to wield this power judiciously. Great video as always WC. 🙏
100% Agreed that de-escalation and avoidance should be from 0% to 101%. You will win 100% of fights you are not in. It’s always better to be thought of as a coward then be a killer, especially for pride or ego. Thanks Massad.
Great presentation. Thank you. I have had numerous occasions in my 30 plus years of lawfully carrying a firearm to basically suck it up and apologize for walking my dog or just existing in the same area as aggressive young men. Did it feel good? No, but no one was hurt physically and I got over my bruised feelings.
Excellent video, I couldn't agree more with "leaving our machismo at home when carrying a weapon." More often then not things escalate out of control quickly to the point of no return.
Your message reminded me of the first time I visited Atlanta. The day before my conference started, I was bored in my hotel room, so I went for a walk. It was a hot afternoon and I must've walked a couple of miles, when I came upon a little store. Inside the store were a couple of tables and some chairs, for patrons to use when they bought food and drink. Around one of these tables were sat seven large black men, who all stood up at once when I came in the door. They all stared at me, with not a single friendly expression between them. "Boy it's sure hot out today!" I said in my outside voice. "Who'd like a Coke?" Well, it turned out they all wanted cokes, and they wondered where I was from (England) and I was forgiven for not knowing where I was not welcome. I told them about my kids and what I did for a living and that I thought Atlanta was a very interesting city. When the cokes were all gone, one of their number was elected to accompany me back to my hotel, "just in case." There was no way I could have come off ahead with any one of these young men in any kind of altercation, and the seven of them might have ended me, either accidentally or on purpose. But they had no grudge against me and as soon as I proved friendly and harmless, ordinary courtesy overcame their prejudice against my skin tone. Eight cokes was a whole lot cheaper than a visit to emergency. Later, at the conference, speaking with Atlanta natives and saying where I'd gone walking, they wanted to know why I wasn't dead yet. "You just don't go there, ya'hear? Nobody does." That's probably another reason why folks don't trust one another - hard to trust what you're afraid of.
I don't know if Mas will see this, but I *really* think it would be a great help to everyone, everywhere, if he could make more videos explaining some of his prior work in cases like this. His written articles on self defense have had a huge effect on a *lot* of people, including myself and many of my loved ones.
The frustration of trying to reason with someone who is being unreasonable can in itself lead to an escalation of hostilities. It would be more effective to say, "I'm sorry," and then walk away, ending the verbal exchange. If the other person purses you, shift gears and scoot out of there. Run-fu is a superior martial art, especially when standing your ground can result in violence.
an 8 year ordeal. Incredible amount of time for a 72 year old person to endure. He could have easily changed seats after he talked to management. Seems pretty senseless to me
I watched the entire Reeves trial for a writing project, and found myself asking over and over again, "Why didn't you just move to another seat?" As it turns out, Reeves' wife asked the same thing, reinforcing my view that women are often smarter than men. Ayoob's message on de-escalation is the clear takeaway here. Right up until the end, I was relatively certain that Reeves would be convicted, but two things kept that from happening. A defense expert witness showed slow motion security camera footage that showed the time interval between the popcorn being thrown and the gunshot. Although he was not allowed to opine on it specifically as I recall, it was clear to the jury that the interval was far too short for Reeves to have drawn and fired his Kel-Tec in response the popcorn and that the two events had nothing to do with each other. The other element that the jury was aware of, but that the defense did not seem to rely on, is that Florida law allows the use of force to stop a felony. But it also elevates any assault on a person 65 or older to a felony, so it is arguable whether a conviction could have been sustained against Reeves had the shooting actually been over popcorn. That said, Reeves made a number of mistakes that contributed to this shooting. I bet he now wishes that when he got up to seek out the manager to complain that he had taken his wife's advice just to move his seat. The lead prosecutor, Scott Rosenwasser, tried to focus the jury on Reeves' actions that led up to the shooting and to imply that they constituted provocation on the part of the defendant, but the defense beat this back. A bit earlier, Rosenwasser, in the Michael Drejka case was successful in using this trick to put Drjeka in prison for 20 years without possibility of parole over an arguably good shoot. He used the fact that Drejka had a verbal exchange with a female over the fact that she was parked in a handicapped space while not handicapped to excuse the fact that her boyfriend, Markeis McGlockton came up from behind Drejka and slammed him to the asphalt of the parking lot with no knowledge of what the discussion was about. He painted Drejka's one shot fired from his Glock 23 from the ground that killed McGlockton as murder. Drejka has already appealed but sadly for him, the appellate court affirmed both his conviction and sentence. Clearly, de-escalation can take the form of not escalating matters in the first place, as I am sure Drejka wishes he had done.
Massad has a way of captivating my attention and getting me to focus on what the important issues of any event are. In this case, he did a brilliant job and explaining that thing out of a gun fight ought to be everybody's goal.
I'm learning so much from this channel and Massad Ayoob got a nice way of explaining using scenarios that gives me a picture in my head like reading a book. In a few months I'm finished at the police academy in Norway and I do learn a lot from these videoes even though we don't have a armed public there are a lot of great learning points in de-escalation for my personal life. Thank you.
When I here stories about the use of "underpowered" rounds-in this case 380 ACP-they seem to be plenty effective. Going through a hand and reaching a large man's heart. It's a sad story but a number of lessons to be learned here.
Sure am glad I had this opportunity to listen to this video . I can’t imagine the mental anguish and 8 years of sleepless nights this senior man must have had . And the thoughts that must have gone through his mind . Thank you for making this video .
I think one of the major things is that, as people who look at the news, or headlines, especially early, or get it 2nd or 3rd or 4th hand in a class or some other venue about use of force events is that there may be missing details or context. I don't recal a blow being struck against the elder man, which changes a lot. At the end of the day, like you said it didn't even need to get to even a shouting event and further. Sometimes the choices we make to be the busy body or act like the enforcer of law in a private place or public isn't always the right thing to do. I personally don't care to see kids rolling around the grocery in the motorized scooter carts made specfically for the elderly or those with issues walking/standing while shopping. I also don't care for people parking in handicap spots without the plates or hang tags, I also don't care for people in fancy cars or SUV's parking in the fire lane, with or without someone in it while they wait for someone to go in and shop. However, what good would it do me to confront them about it? Probably not any. It probably won't keep them from doing it in the future, and, you never know the complete story of how/why they are doing what they are doing, further, you don't know if they are carrying a weapon legally or illegally and what type of mood they are in, and if what "I" may do, even if it's for the greater good, per se, may be the straw the breaks the camel's back and sends them into a rage against me. It's better to be the "Responsibly" armed citizen than just a man or woman with a concealed carry who feels they are unofficially sworn as a deputy and charged with keeping law and order in town.
The news media definitely can't be trusted they never put the details like you just did out there. I always thought the retired cop was screwed royally. But then when I heard the details I know the truth. Thanks. Been following you since the eighties.
MAS: If REEVES had been a MAG-20 grad, this probably wouldn't have happened. Thank God I am a MAG-20 grad... you have taught me so much more than you know. Thanks, Brother!! Mark Polansky, Sr., ExFed
Great vid as always Mas and true. De escalation is always something good to learn and train in. As those of us who are legally armed daily we always have to put our egos aside and try to always walk away. But you can't make someone else do the right thing.
I don't even go to the cinema. Conflict avoided! = Conflict won. If you want to come into my house while I'm watching Wilson Combat on YT!? That's another conversation we can have with Mr. Ayoob... I think I would be on very high ground.
The advice for us to "leave our machismo home, when we carry a lethal weapon" is 💯 % ABSOLUTELY SPOT-ON! Having carried a sidearm for 30 years, for both work & now as a lawfully armed private citizen, I have honestly been convinced, beyond any doubt, that *"DISCRETION IS THE BETTER PART OF VALOR!* Great video Mr. Ayoob, thank you. God bless.
From my lips to God's ear: May I never have to use this thing!
@@TarkMcCoy
AMEN, AMEN, & AMEN!
My approach to carrying is try to avoid all altercations.
@@tonyromano6220 Indeed. The gun is NOT for avoidable altercations.
Only when death is coming right at me.
Several years ago I was in a rush missed breakfast at the hotel and had to hit the closest drive thru. Getting in line, a large truck was behind me. A short round male who i guess had to make a pit stop came out from inside the restaurant swapped places with the woman who was driving. All at once he got overly animated, screaming cussing hanging out the window. I realized his anger was directed at me. I had cut in the line. Screaming at me while i placed my order, pulling to the window the clerk expressed his concern. I gave him my card and waited as he took their order. I told the clerk I would pay for their food, and asked he tell them i was sorry. Smiling he told me he would. Pulling up to the pay window and finding out I paid seem to enrage him further. Unlike his companion who subdued herself. Getting my order the other clerk apologized said she could not believe I paid for them. Pulling away he flipped me off. Apologetically the female in the passenger seat waived.
I had done my best to garner witnesses and de-escalate. You see I was fully kitted out for a 3 gun competition. Oversleeping i had to put on my rig and ALL my mags right after I checked out. God forbid and I thank god NOTHING happened.
The best conflict is the one you avoid.
Would have made a good safety film
Both people were assholes. I am unnaturally polite while in society. It is not a weakness; it takes great strength to turn the other cheek. No one had to die that night.
Solid advice, as anticipated. Meekness is not the lack of power, but our restraint or control over it. Be the strong one, not the proud one.
That sounds deep but is only going to get a lot of decent, but older and weaker people hurt, or worse.
@@GasPipeJimmy How so?
@@craigbenz4835 Yea, I've been thinking Jimmy's response over for a while. This I do know, when push comes to shove you have to shut the shit down. Lot more painful if you let it linger. Maybe he'll get back to us. It's not about bravado, it's about keeping others alive. As I've aged, not going to duke it out, just get them on the ground and tear them up or stay fast as fuck and hit hit Hit hit
We're useless if we're dead, a burden if we're dying. Decisions must be made. 😂Just because time slowed, doesn't make you one bit faster. Hope he'll correct me if I missed the mark.
Unfortunately many people think of meekness as weakness. Meekness is power under control. One man likened it to a '69 Dodge Super Bee with a 440 6-pack engine, sitting at a traffic light. It has the power to spin its tires and create a smoke cloud of burning rubber, but instead, the driver eases through the intersection in a controlled manner. He knows he has the power, but feels no need to demonstrate it; he doesn't have to prove anything.
I don't carry or even own a gun, but I enjoy listening to Mr Ayoob. His commentary is very insightful.
Thank you Mr. Ayood, Your wisdom is greatly appreciated.
No matter what, we live in a messed up world. If possible walk away. Diplomacy first. Thanks, Mass.
I always buy tickets by credit cards, if they won't refund on site. I'll fight the charge for what was not delivered later. Yea walk away.
That was a good debrief. It brought to light a couple of exculpatory facts the press left out concerning Mr Reeves. I did not know he had received a blow to the face with a blunt object from a much larger and younger opponent. The press made seem as though the aggressor merely threw popcorn in the face of Mr Reeves and Mr Reeves grossly over reacted. Yet, another reason to regard information from many press sources with skepticism.
Ya don’t get to shoot someone who’s bigger and stronger cuz they throw phone at ya. Sometimes ya just get in a fight. If your wronged by that then sue. Guy who shot was just as big as an a hole as the other guy. He could have sat somewhere else. Guy was probably itching to shoot someone.
@@Baseballisbest67 yep ex cop shoot first , move even when he got there 2nd , cop think.. do what i say , shoot next or if black shoot first ..
The media leaves as much out as they can when they talk about self defense shootings, because what's important to them is the shooting itself. And the less reasons for the shooting, the better they can push their narrative.
Thank you Mas! This concept is so simple, yet people just don't get it. I had this figured out a long time ago, and my main motivation was fear of legal consequences. I will gladly inconvenience myself to avoid conflict any day. First thing is avoidance. Don't go where there might be trouble. I no longer go to any event, especially where alcohol is served. If someone wants my place in line, or my parking spot, I gladly let them have it. No words, no gestures. Easy come, easy go. Sure I get pissed at people, but at the end of the day I'm going home. Not to jail or a courtroom. Swallow your damn pride. Let the other guy 'win'. Some people see this as a weakness. I see it as being smart. Conflict isn't worth it
Thank you, Mr. Ayoob.
One can never be reminded often enough to have the mindset not to start an issue with another and have the humility to de-escalate a volatile situation no matter whose fault it is. Keep your cool, be the one that stops it right in its tracks if you are able to. The alternative may lead to a lifetime of heartache, and prison.
Romans 12:18 "If possible, as far as it depends upon YOU, be peaceable with all men."
You are the sence of reason Mr Ayoob thank You!!!
Carrying a firearm for personal protection is a great responsibility. We must know when it's time to take the high road and leave a escalating situation. Great video and great advice.
Avoidance is the key. Do not put yourself in situations that compromise your safety. Act with extreme prejudice only when all other options are exhausted.
This is good advice. BUT in US urban areas, aggressive behavior or "citizens in crisis" can pop up. Excited delirium is now more common. Be aware of those danger signs too.
Whenever I am at a shooting range, I find the most polite people in the world.
🤣Imagine that
Minus the range master.
@@alswann2702 RSO's have to be hard asses. It's a control thing so people don't f' up.
Massad, you and WC need to repeat this often; just as we go to the range and dryfire to build muscle memory, we should hear lessons like this more often
Amazing how most folks respond to "I apologize"... people oughta try it more often.
@@alexbernstein362
You were dealing with people that wanted to be offended.
No apology from would have ever sufficed, THAT likely would have escalated them to further hysterics.
@@alexbernstein362 Dude that wasn't a panic attack, it was a performance. They wanted you to pay their bill.
Sometimes de-escalation works, sometimes it does not.
It's worth a try, but it does not always work.
As a retired police captain in my mid 70s that carries a .380 this hits close to home. While we no longer go to the movies we are out and about quite a bit and I do my best to avoid trouble. Thanks for posting this, it serves as a good reminder.
Reeves litterly started the SWAT-SRT unit in Tampa. He was also a security supervisor, exec at SeaWorld Busch Gardens. He was found not guilty in his case. Another FL incident: FL vs Michael Drejka ended with Drejka having a conviction. This was the tragic ♿️ space shooting. Drejka made several errors, bad choices which lead to a FL jury convicting him. 📂
Totally on board with Mr. Ayoob here.
I've always been an easygoing and peaceable sort of guy. What I noticed when I started carrying was how much MORE peaceable and easygoing I became, plus how much more observant of the world around me. If you're carrying, you simply can't *afford* to get involved in any foolishness. If I do have a fight, it's going to be because someone is actively trying to kill or severely injure me, *and* I don't have any way to get out of the situation. And that's about as bad as things can possibly get, I think.
i agree .be the bigger man and smile life is hard so make it better. same time must defend your self in a savage way when attacked
Its been a long time since I read it. If it wasn't "In The Gravest Extreme", it was in something Mas wrote in one of the rags way back then. He was in a bad part of town, approached by a group of individuals obviously bent on victimizing him. Before they were within critical closing distance, Mas pulls out a match book with a $20 bill rubber banded around it and tosses it toward the miscreants. He makes a statement that he wants no trouble and invites the group to enjoy libations on him. Fortunately, that $20 was received well and the situation effectively deescalated. Mas, I believe was carrying a .38 revolver and was perfectly capable and prepared to defend himself. But as he stated, it was a huge return on the $20 investment if the cost of defending himself in court for shooting those punks was considered. That story has stuck with me for damn near 40 years now. You have made a difference in this world, Mr. Ayoob. You truly have.
I was in a domestic violence situation couple years back 04-2021. No prior record, never arrested. Served 8 years in the USMC and medically retired because of my injuries (Full disclosure I was born in a bar). I am and will likely will be forever on morphine due to chronic back pain. My ex decided to pick up the bottle after 10 years sober. At first she had no problem and wasn’t an issue. Years go by and it was a huge problem. The climax came over the course of two days when she was out of her mind and started poking the bear so to speak. I let it go and go until I physically receipted which caused her to fall and break her elbow. The 5.0 were called and I was hauled away. Not knowing at that time my problems only just started. The apex being a PFA was issued, my gun collection was confiscated and I was kicked out of my house for 54 weeks (my house before marriage). Divorce was filed. I had to go mental evaluation by a shrink ordered by the judge. I was even facing at first A&B. During the initial PFA was ex’s character came into question. DA tried to slip me pleading to crimes of violence since PA doesn’t have DV statute. Telling him to go pound sand I’ll see him in court b/c at that point I got nothing to lose. I was giving 2 MisD DC and 2 years PFA with probation and drug and alcohol counseling. The short and skinny is I’m back in my house 6 months ago. Divorce is being finalized and as of now between civil and divorce lawyers I’ve spent right around $25K since all this started. The take away here (and I get this all the time) is to walk away. In my case I couldn’t do that. It was in my house you just can’t walk away from where you live and are married with. The problem is waiting for you when you get back. I’ve learned from my story and this video is their are just some people in life you MUST stay away from period. At any and all costs and situations. From the very beginning. It’s usually you that has much more to loose than the other person. I lost a lot but I almost lost everything forever due to someone else’s initial actions and my secondary ones. I get my gun collection back 03-2024 and I can apply to have my record expunged 03-2032. Please if you reading this learn from my mistakes so you don’t go through what I did.
Definitely a hard life lesson, Thanks for sharing.
Rough.
The courts are just insane.
I so appreciate your teachings sir.
Glad to hear that
This reminds me of a story I heard about a guy who got into a fight outside a bar. The hit a guy who then fell and hit his head on the curb and died. He did like 30 years in prison. His best friend started teaching self defense and the first and last class of his courses are de-escalation. He does 2 classes on it because he said it changes your life more than anything.
Actor & comic: Kevin James 🎙 worked as a bouncer many years ago, 1990s. He had a co-worker beat a man savagely, the guy hit his head on a curb, got a TBI 🧠, died in a ICU. James says the bouncer was charged & convicted, felony.
If that was just a person that was never a former cop that person would be in jail.
I am a retired officer, investigator, and instructor and I am now a civilian instructor. I use this case in my segment on de-escalation. Bottom line is both could’ve walked away. They were plenty of seats in the house as you said. Avoidance of danger is always preferable to an armed encounter.
Excellent observation and good to see that this incident is used by you and others to help us responsibly armed citizens avoid similar situations.
Reeves went thru 8yr with this court case. He was cleared. ⚖️
My best friend attended an LFI back in the '80s ...and he said it was the best thing ever.
Mas..... teach!!!!!
This is an excellent example to learn how to de-escalate situations. I never want to be in this mans situation and pray I never am.
In simpler terms my dad told me as a young man. Don’t start no sh-t won’t be no sh-t. Another great video Mr. Ayoob take care and stay safe.
Thanks again Massad, Your videos have always been very educational and interesting, I am a retired construction worker from the Chicago area and met a man on a job site who knew you on a personal level and he talked about how much of a good man you are.
I think that using your cell phone in a movie theatre while the movie has started and especially after someone has asked you to turn it off just shows the level of disrespect people have nowadays for just about everything.
Agreed, but why Mr. Reeves would take that as a reason to escalate a banal situation, especially when Mr. Reeves _knew_ he had a gun on him, is also troubling.
Sir, I have been learning from you for the past 40 years or so. You don't know how much good your books, articles and videos have helped others. Thanks.
I always appreciate your moments of common sense in a world gone mad. Thank you and Happy Thanksgiving
Same to you!
Thank you Mas. I was not familiar with this case, and appreciate you discussing it with us.
I’m sure that both parties would be better off if someone would have simply moved. The world we live in is so tragic. Thank you for covering this!
Sage words Mas. Be as polite as you must to survive, but as you said, de-escalation is a two way street.
Vital advice and its mandatory every citizen armed or unarmed understand de-escalation
Lesson heard, loud and clear. Really smart advice.
Once again, great solid advice for all cc situations. I would also add that in driving situations where you would encounter someone cutting you off, flipping them the bird or cursing them at the next red light is not the proper etiquette of a cc citizen, it’s best to throttle back and let the person cutting you off move on ahead instead of potentially escalating the situation. Thanks for your sound advice and happy holidays to you and everyone! 🙂🇺🇸
Another great vlog
Your legal/warning videos are always so great, Mas. Thanks for this series.
Glad you enjoy it!
Great. I will work on it. I will try to be nice and inoffensive. You are absolutely correct. An ounce of prevention is worth much more than a pound of cure.
As John Correia likes to say, "your ego is not your amigo."
Great advice I will be sure to practice. I choose peace over pride unless I am given no way out. Thank you sir
I actually had never heard of this case.
Great video. Thanks. I learned about this in 1960, if I remember right in a bar in Germany. A group of GIs got upset with 3 young guys, me and my brother and one other older guy (15, 17 and 18or 19). They began to get aggressive with the oldest guy and he proceeded to talk our way out of trouble. There were no guns, but broken beer bottles. If I remember right all he said is "Wait, can we talk?" And we exited ASAP. So my first response is always to try and talk my way out of trouble. And I avoid bars.
Part of my CCW Safe plan consist of courses and training including the Art of Deescelation. It's good stuff.
Mas, I'd been learning something from you since the 80's in the pages of Guns & Ammo to todays video! Keep it up sir 👍
Well said - great advice and much appreciated.
As always, great advice to avoid the use of deadly force whenever possible, and when not, to ensure your actions are defensible in a court of law. Can’t thank you enough for the lessons!
Great lesson Mas. Swallowing one's ego or pride is a lot more palatable than years behind bars. It just isn't worth it. Walk away from the unreasonable. Live another day, fight the good fight not the pointless one.
Nah, brah it's not about swallowing shit. It's about controlling yourself. Just walk away if you can't work through it verbally. 🤣I've been called a lot of things, instigator has not been one.
'Just always retreat, bro.'
'Just give your daughters to migrants, bro. They won't have to be violent then. Maybe..'
@@HAYAOLEONE What the hell are you talking about?
This is an awesome video. I recently exited my home on my way to work. I was armed with my CCW. As I exited my vehicle I noticed a man across the street standing on the sidewalk in front of my neighbors home and although he appeared a little fidgety I didn’t recognize that anything was really wrong. As I approached my vehicle this same man called out to me. I turned to face him and acknowledging his call to me. What ensued was something that I didn’t expect. As it turned out, this man had been engaged in a verbal dispute with my neighbor (unbeknownst to me initially) and was looking to re-engage my neighbor as he stated to “finish the argument” and he was demanding that I assist him by going to knock on my neighbor’s door to get him to come out so he could renegade him. This man who turned out to be about half the age of either me or my neighbor was demanding my assistance. Of I declined his request and I tried to encourage him to either let the matter go or if he felt some criminal act had taken place against to call the police or as I offered, I’d call the police for him. Being a behavioral health professional, I have had training in deescalation of agitated people. However, despite using my best techniques the man was only marginally responsive to my efforts. In fact at one point he threatened to take out his frustrations on me and even started to approach me to the point where my only options of retreat would have been to run onto adjacent property, try to jump into my vehicle and drive away before he could get close enough to harm me, call police or, as a last resort either have to fight him off or apply the use of deadly force. Upon hearing that statement, my CCW training kicked in and I did not seek to say or do anything to escalate or provoke him more. I did pull my cell phone, told him that I would call police if he kept approaching which caused him to stop his advance. I made sure I kept my calm and my wits, I didn’t raise my voice as he was already pretty amped up. I kept calm tones, I politely told him that I was ending the conversation as I needed to leave and disengaged from the conversation. I kept him clearly in eyesight as he walked away. I was never really in fear for my life or safety during the encounter and my CCW stayed exactly where it should have, in my holster. I’m glad I didn’t have to draw my CCW and use it defend myself. I would have if i felt in imminent threat of harm. I saw no weapon although being younger bigger than me, his ability to impose harm on me would be asymmetrical to my ability to repel his attack, he never came within a proximity to me to make me feel he posed an imminent threat. His verbal threat to impose punishment on me for what happened between him and my neighbor was insufficient for me to use deadly force because he made no attempt to carry out the threat and he was never in close enough proximity to me, to execute his threat. I remember our CCW instructor emphasizing situational awareness as being critical being able to keep ourselves safe but prepared to react in proportion to an actual or implied threat of death or great bodily harm.
Beautifully articulated Massad..... I watched the entire trial and you nailed it ! 💪. 🙏
That was true words of wisdom. Why is it so unfortunate that it takes us a lifetime to fully understand these basic concepts of reasoning.
Great lesson Mr. Ayoob. Thank you again as always. I saw this local video just tonight, before seeing your video on the topic of de-escalation from a year ago. I thought the de-escalation on the part of the Pima County Sheriff Deputies was superb, as was their officer presence and decision making. Calm voices, point officer giving almost all communication with the suspect, calm demeanors, etc. Unfortunately, they had to make a justified decision to use deadly force because they were attacked with deadly force. There is so much to learn from this Tucson, Arizona video, and one of those lessons is that things might go south despite the officers' best efforts. And very quickly. I hope this share from me can help your future lessons to us all. You've been my mentor for about 40 years now and I've been retired for a a nice chunk of it. I didn't always KNOW you were my mentor until later, when I saw your writings and then videos, and said to myself "That's where my LEO training came from". Thank you, sir! God bless! ua-cam.com/video/q-SA22Vz-rk/v-deo.html
I live in Tampa and followed this case from the beginning. I was surprised when Reeves was acquitted but like you said he didn’t strike the first blow. A lot of stupidity to go around on both sides.
Great video.
As those who are lawfully armed excersizing the right of defense, we must always remember that we have been bestowed a tool of both life and death. Therefore, we should aim to carry ourselves with diplomacy as we represent this. Always excersizing etiquette, compassion, and wisdom among our community with the ability to show restraint, as the ability to wield this power judiciously.
Great video as always WC. 🙏
100% Agreed that de-escalation and avoidance should be from 0% to 101%. You will win 100% of fights you are not in. It’s always better to be thought of as a coward then be a killer, especially for pride or ego. Thanks Massad.
That was a good one. Had to appreciate you’re giving empathetic perspective to both sides and attempting to treat each man in that situation fairly.
Always great advice from this man.
Always!
Great presentation. Thank you. I have had numerous occasions in my 30 plus years of lawfully carrying a firearm to basically suck it up and apologize for walking my dog or just existing in the same area as aggressive young men. Did it feel good? No, but no one was hurt physically and I got over my bruised feelings.
Excellent advice Mass. Moving away to another seat would have avoided the situation and a lot of heartache for both sides.
Your knowledge and input is always top notch.
Great one. As the old song says, Be a little forgiving . . .
Excellent video, I couldn't agree more with "leaving our machismo at home when carrying a weapon." More often then not things escalate out of control quickly to the point of no return.
Your message reminded me of the first time I visited Atlanta. The day before my conference started, I was bored in my hotel room, so I went for a walk. It was a hot afternoon and I must've walked a couple of miles, when I came upon a little store. Inside the store were a couple of tables and some chairs, for patrons to use when they bought food and drink. Around one of these tables were sat seven large black men, who all stood up at once when I came in the door. They all stared at me, with not a single friendly expression between them.
"Boy it's sure hot out today!" I said in my outside voice. "Who'd like a Coke?"
Well, it turned out they all wanted cokes, and they wondered where I was from (England) and I was forgiven for not knowing where I was not welcome. I told them about my kids and what I did for a living and that I thought Atlanta was a very interesting city. When the cokes were all gone, one of their number was elected to accompany me back to my hotel, "just in case."
There was no way I could have come off ahead with any one of these young men in any kind of altercation, and the seven of them might have ended me, either accidentally or on purpose. But they had no grudge against me and as soon as I proved friendly and harmless, ordinary courtesy overcame their prejudice against my skin tone. Eight cokes was a whole lot cheaper than a visit to emergency.
Later, at the conference, speaking with Atlanta natives and saying where I'd gone walking, they wanted to know why I wasn't dead yet. "You just don't go there, ya'hear? Nobody does." That's probably another reason why folks don't trust one another - hard to trust what you're afraid of.
Old guy carrying the gun while not found guiltily in this case will have to live with taking another mans life over stupid argument
I don't know if Mas will see this, but I *really* think it would be a great help to everyone, everywhere, if he could make more videos explaining some of his prior work in cases like this.
His written articles on self defense have had a huge effect on a *lot* of people, including myself and many of my loved ones.
The frustration of trying to reason with someone who is being unreasonable can in itself lead to an escalation of hostilities. It would be more effective to say, "I'm sorry," and then walk away, ending the verbal exchange. If the other person purses you, shift gears and scoot out of there. Run-fu is a superior martial art, especially when standing your ground can result in violence.
De-escalation is a skill that can be an advantage in all phases of life. I wish I could find a course in my area.
an 8 year ordeal. Incredible amount of time for a 72 year old person to endure. He could have easily changed seats after he talked to management. Seems pretty senseless to me
Mas is absolutely correct. Better to walk away ignore if possible it's all about self control and self discipline but also choices.
Half the fun in some movie theaters is the audience. During "The Grudge" it was spectacular.
*Thank You very much Sir!*
Degrees of losing, most any shooting.
One of the MOST important videos you have ever done. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
Gosh, Hollywood shows us examples of de-escalation in every movie! Satire.
Good advise, hope I can remember it when someone is in my face..
I watched the entire Reeves trial for a writing project, and found myself asking over and over again, "Why didn't you just move to another seat?" As it turns out, Reeves' wife asked the same thing, reinforcing my view that women are often smarter than men. Ayoob's message on de-escalation is the clear takeaway here.
Right up until the end, I was relatively certain that Reeves would be convicted, but two things kept that from happening. A defense expert witness showed slow motion security camera footage that showed the time interval between the popcorn being thrown and the gunshot. Although he was not allowed to opine on it specifically as I recall, it was clear to the jury that the interval was far too short for Reeves to have drawn and fired his Kel-Tec in response the popcorn and that the two events had nothing to do with each other.
The other element that the jury was aware of, but that the defense did not seem to rely on, is that Florida law allows the use of force to stop a felony. But it also elevates any assault on a person 65 or older to a felony, so it is arguable whether a conviction could have been sustained against Reeves had the shooting actually been over popcorn. That said, Reeves made a number of mistakes that contributed to this shooting. I bet he now wishes that when he got up to seek out the manager to complain that he had taken his wife's advice just to move his seat.
The lead prosecutor, Scott Rosenwasser, tried to focus the jury on Reeves' actions that led up to the shooting and to imply that they constituted provocation on the part of the defendant, but the defense beat this back. A bit earlier, Rosenwasser, in the Michael Drejka case was successful in using this trick to put Drjeka in prison for 20 years without possibility of parole over an arguably good shoot. He used the fact that Drejka had a verbal exchange with a female over the fact that she was parked in a handicapped space while not handicapped to excuse the fact that her boyfriend, Markeis McGlockton came up from behind Drejka and slammed him to the asphalt of the parking lot with no knowledge of what the discussion was about. He painted Drejka's one shot fired from his Glock 23 from the ground that killed McGlockton as murder. Drejka has already appealed but sadly for him, the appellate court affirmed both his conviction and sentence. Clearly, de-escalation can take the form of not escalating matters in the first place, as I am sure Drejka wishes he had done.
Great advice. Thanks for bringing up the topic!
Well said, I’m sure there was a very costly civil suit too.
Massad has a way of captivating my attention and getting me to focus on what the important issues of any event are. In this case, he did a brilliant job and explaining that thing out of a gun fight ought to be everybody's goal.
It takes a man to back down from boyish insults.
I'm learning so much from this channel and Massad Ayoob got a nice way of explaining using scenarios that gives me a picture in my head like reading a book. In a few months I'm finished at the police academy in Norway and I do learn a lot from these videoes even though we don't have a armed public there are a lot of great learning points in de-escalation for my personal life. Thank you.
Discretion is the better part of valor.
Great Job Massad, live long and brief us more....
More to come!
Happy to listen to you guys
Thank you, Mas! As always, you provide us with clear and concise information.
When I here stories about the use of "underpowered" rounds-in this case 380 ACP-they seem to be plenty effective. Going through a hand and reaching a large man's heart. It's a sad story but a number of lessons to be learned here.
Sure am glad I had this opportunity to listen to this video . I can’t imagine the mental anguish and 8 years of sleepless nights this senior man must have had . And the thoughts that must have gone through his mind .
Thank you for making this video .
I want to thank you for sharing your experience with us and refreshing our minds on the topic.
I think one of the major things is that, as people who look at the news, or headlines, especially early, or get it 2nd or 3rd or 4th hand in a class or some other venue about use of force events is that there may be missing details or context. I don't recal a blow being struck against the elder man, which changes a lot. At the end of the day, like you said it didn't even need to get to even a shouting event and further. Sometimes the choices we make to be the busy body or act like the enforcer of law in a private place or public isn't always the right thing to do. I personally don't care to see kids rolling around the grocery in the motorized scooter carts made specfically for the elderly or those with issues walking/standing while shopping. I also don't care for people parking in handicap spots without the plates or hang tags, I also don't care for people in fancy cars or SUV's parking in the fire lane, with or without someone in it while they wait for someone to go in and shop. However, what good would it do me to confront them about it? Probably not any. It probably won't keep them from doing it in the future, and, you never know the complete story of how/why they are doing what they are doing, further, you don't know if they are carrying a weapon legally or illegally and what type of mood they are in, and if what "I" may do, even if it's for the greater good, per se, may be the straw the breaks the camel's back and sends them into a rage against me. It's better to be the "Responsibly" armed citizen than just a man or woman with a concealed carry who feels they are unofficially sworn as a deputy and charged with keeping law and order in town.
The news media definitely can't be trusted they never put the details like you just did out there. I always thought the retired cop was screwed royally. But then when I heard the details I know the truth. Thanks. Been following you since the eighties.
Thank you for a wise presentation. Using your firearm should always be when absolutely unavoidable.
Deep learning!
Thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience with us. It is appreciated very much.
Glad it was helpful!
MAS: If REEVES had been a MAG-20 grad, this probably wouldn't have happened. Thank God I am a MAG-20 grad... you have taught me so much more than you know. Thanks, Brother!! Mark Polansky, Sr., ExFed
Great vid as always Mas and true. De escalation is always something good to learn and train in. As those of us who are legally armed daily we always have to put our egos aside and try to always walk away. But you can't make someone else do the right thing.
Well said!
I don't even go to the cinema. Conflict avoided! = Conflict won. If you want to come into my house while I'm watching Wilson Combat on YT!? That's another conversation we can have with Mr. Ayoob... I think I would be on very high ground.
I am very familiar with he error of not deescalating in life! Using feet and shutting up are underrated!
Brilliant advice. Once again very informative.
After I started carrying every day, I have become a more calm driver for sure. I definitely don’t want any type of confrontation!