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The worst kind of rejection is when someone gets close to you, gives you hope to be together and then reject you. This kind of behavior is beyond cruel.
I'm glad that they didn't only consider romantic rejections but also platonic rejection as well. Belonging within a group is as important as belonging with someone (if not more).
i have had a few romantic breakups and yeah they hurt but nothing has ever hurt like being rejected by the one friend i actually talked everything with. When he said he didnt wish to talk to me anymore i was broken for weeks and a few times a say i would forget why i was sad and think "hm if im sad i should talk to him" only to remember. He is better off now we are apart and im not massively worse off (neutral effect at best) but damn it hurts.
@@ireneqq2300 im so sorry, youre prob a wonderful person, he prob just wanted something different. I remember breaking off with my bestfriend at the time cuz of a cold war between us and I wonder if she misses me too, cuz she was a very important part of my life. He may have moved on but you both have impacted each other more than you realized.
Even worse when they make you feel like they like you by calling you cute names and sending you cute pic's, but when you wanna make sure you ask them if they really like you and you are like they will definitely say yes, but bamm! "No, not really." Feels like a gunshot to my heart
@@heisenberg4939 They might have a dysfunctional attachment style. Actions speak louder than words. They might not want you to get too close emotionally, so they lie about their true feelings. I am such a person, and I pretty much lost a relationship of 17 years because I was too afraid of opening up and telling her how much I love her. It's only part of the problems in my relationship, but perhaps it can help you understand such a person. You yourself are probably attracted to these kind of people for a reason as well.
Ask yourself: 1. Relationship type. Acquantaince or long term? 2. Low opinion of themselves 3. Do the other person value the relationship as you do? Solution: Reconnect with those who value you.
@@fromfareast3070 maybe you don’t value yourself, by writing this and expect someone else to value you as a replacement for your lacking self-value you display here. If not, it is up to you and only you to connect to others.
I love that this doesn’t downplay how much rejection can hurt. Remember, accepting rejection gracefully doesn’t mean you have to pretend it doesn’t hurt. If you’re rejected romantically, it’s okay to take time away from the person who rejected you, or to even end the friendship permanently if you know you’ll never be satisfied being just friends with them. Relationships should be based on mutual consent and benefit, and if you can’t find a solution that you’ll both be happy in, there’s nothing wrong with ending it.
I can relate to this so much. Rejection hurts and it's okay to find ways to heal. If mutual consent and respect can't be found, it's best to end a friendship.
Thank you. I watch an inspirational video at the end of my every day and I found this one at the end of the day to help with what I went through tonight and I read your comment I thank you much
To me, the worst rejection comes when you truly love someone, some group, or some job. They hold a piece of your consciousness that you cannot fully forget. When you are rejected on this level, it is more painful than simply not being recognized or accepted. I still carry pain from rejections more than 30 years ago (marriage) and 10 years ago (fired from job due to office politics).
@@hhanie-ng5619 wow. Thanks for asking. I successfully dealt with infidelity via divorce as she wanted to continue the affair. I successfully dealt with the job loss by finding other positions in life where I was accepted and appreciated. My consciousness can never forget the heartbreak, but I can live mostly in the present and be grateful by recognizing the love that exists around me. I love my wife, dog, extended family, clean air, clean water, and all of nature's beauty to name a few.
Really! It hurt that bad? I was deeply in love with a girl but she only considered me as a friend although the best friend nonetheless, still when she rejected me eventually, there were misunderstanding, fights and I was deeply hurt. What compounded the problem was that I had to go to office everyday and see her face as we were in the same team. A short term relationship with another girl, a job transfer and a change of city later, I was finally able to shake her off. I realised I was giving her too much importance, there is just one life and change is the only constant, people come and go etc. Also, out of sight out of mind seemed to have always worked for me.
@@suvrojitroy1093 I've also been going through that. I was profoundly in love with a girl in my class, but she also considered me a mere friend --- albeit a very close one. It made me extremely self-concscious, not so much about my personality and behaviour (because I have been doing everything I can to be the best man I can be) but about my appearance... of which I cannot change much. This is because (a) she is gorgeous, and (b) she was attracted to another guy who was white and "good-looking" according to what you would see in Hollywood, for the most part. While I was Indian with an unusually big nose and a somewhat misaligned jaw (and a half-broken tooth). I felt like I didn't belong there, in the West with all these perfect people many of whom can essentially choose who they want to be with. The realisation that I can be the most virtuous, charismatic and successful man and still be rejected by someone I held so dear was jarring, and ever since I realised it was love I felt for her, I often feel a shiver of loneliness whenever I am very tired or am trying to go to sleep, thinking the moment would be so much more fulfilling if she were there next to me... Of course, it would not be particularly virtuous of me to continue to feel resentful about this rejection. She is a very kind and conscientious person. Even when she does not show it, she means good for everyone around her. It is just that at this point in her life, she might value appearance more than other aspects in a partner... and who knows, it might work out for her. Maybe she finds someone who is handsome _and_ a good man, in which case all the more power to her. Or maybe I'm completely wrong about her prioritising appearance and it's really some other reason for which she rejected me: it could be that I am inadvertently clinging on to whatever moral support I can get to degrade her personality, which is the last thing I should be doing if I really love her because it could just be WRONG. In any case, we have graduated and she is moving abroad for university. I wish nothing but the best for her, for me, and for everyone else in this world. r = a(1 - sin\theta)
Rejection is protection. 🙏 been rejected by crushes, jobs, scholarships. But now I can’t ask for better things with a loving partner, a flexible job and about to do my master’s with a full scholarship. Rejections really serve as a sign that some things or people aren’t meant for me and save me headaches. I’ll embrace more rejections in the rest of my life 😊
I don't think that is comforting for many. It feels like you can embrace rejection - because you already have what you want. (good partner, good job, etc) but if you didn't still have those things, or lose those things again, the pain returns. Rejection is rejection: usually it's not out of ill will, but it's also not out of protection.
I always get discriminated at college. First, I cried a lot. After that, I started caring less. It was so horrible that I isolated myself too much. Last week, when other class girl said my drawings are really good. It was the genuine compliment I got after a long time. I started crying. There are still good people out there, who would always enjoy your company. 🥰😊
I've been flooded with breakup videos this week (because...algorithm) and this is the only one by far that I find being able to help me cope. Some key points I found helpful: -Just because someone couldn't show up in the way you wanted them to in the relationship doesn't mean they didn't care about it. -When we have low self-value it's easy to misconstrue neutral reactions as negative ones. -It's helpful to self-reflect and determine whether you were expecting more acceptance than was reasonable from your partner. -Your partner wants something different from the relationship, and sometimes what they want might be unreasonable or unfair.
Confident people can just brush rejection off but when you’re not confident you can’t... when you try so hard and want something so much to then get rejected is devastating, soul destroying. Constant rejection erodes any self esteem, everything . At its worst makes you want to just give up and make you suicidal 😢
For me, rejection or abandonment always makes me consider if there is something wrong with me. I often have times where I think "Am I rude? Am I argumentative? Am I annoying?" and I can never find anything I didn't already know. I think some people, especially in high school wherw I am at, are just too invested in "popularity" or being cool to make new friends with people that aren't popular
Being rejected is a blessing in disguise, because once somebody makes it clear it doesn't want you, then you can move on and search for people out there who are craving to have you bust just didn't have the chance to tell you because you were wasting your time chasing an illusion. Move on from rejection and move towards what you deserve
Good advice, I think their are some people reaching out to me but due to some social anxiety it has been hard for me to connect. I’ll try to change to that. 😅
I was rejected by a crush 50 years ago. It was devastating. It shaped me for many years . Fast forward, the same crush’s best friend told me he and my crush talked about me over the years and that he should seek me out and maybe marry me. For the first time ever, I felt free to say No… the years of pain left my soul forever. I guess I actually rejected him. A therapist would have helped me arrive sooner but I was too embarrassed to tell anyone of my struggles. My upbringing didn’t allow for us to share our feelings with our mother.
Definitely relate to the sentiments this video. Sometimes people reject you for reasons you can't understand. Those are harder to work through, because you genuinely can't figure out what went wrong so it's more difficult to reflect on what happened
It's a good feeling when you realize these thoughts that you had was natural and the thoughts you had afterwards that rejection was actually healthy not denial. It was a good subject. I got kinda mocked by a stranger in my first days in a new city and a new environment few days ago. I was worried that I even cared about it. I feel more reliefed now thanks to you.
when someone who has a high influence in your life rejects you, it really hurts. compared to a stranger with no to little interaction, it doesnt even sting and is viewed like a joke.
Its better to face it and accept the truth. We cant hide our feelings nor supress them. I got rejected today but thats life. I been working on myself latly and that doesnt change. Stay strong my friends and let the light shine upon your loving heart ❤️
Finally, so many young male and female teens are straight-up going incel due to the unrealistic portrayal of love and ways of expressing it as seen on TV shows, movies and celebrity life. People, young and old, need to understand that love and acceptance are not something to unlock or achieve. It can be one-sided, or it can be mutual and spontaneous. In a world where we rationalise everything, this irrational connection confuses some, and the pain can change a person for the worst. Early education in this matter is key rather than avoiding this time bomb.
I just recently started going into the dating/hookup market. I had cases that I get a message to meet, I get excited and ready. And then they block me shortly before the meetup. It stings hard, but it's temporary. What helps is reminding yourself that it's their loss, not yours. To accept that getting rejected is part of life, and move on. Also have a support network does help a lot, even if it's only 1 or 2 people. Though if you don't have such network to help you out. I would start getting one before jumping in dating.
I really love the realization that there is a difference between actual rejection, and you simply not getting the response you hoped for that may have been unreasonable to begin with
"that may have been unreasonable" Uh... that is STILL rejection. Whether it is unreasonable by any imaginary objective standard would still not make it not rejection.
A new day and a new video that doesn't say anything new about rejection. I think this topic requires a much more honest and heartfelt approach. To understand it, there is a need of confessions and confrontations. No one (including me) understands it until they experience one.
Jesus loves you! Believe in His death and resurrection and repent of your sins and be saved! Remember that He died and rose up again for you to be in heaven with Him! Have an amazing day ❤️❤❤❤
I never had anyone tell me that they are proud of me or wants to support me or being kind to me reaching out trying to help me I have no one like that . That is what I actually need yet I have to keep supporting myself and God supports me as well
I got rejected. After 2 years of knowing her. It definitely hurts… There’s nothing more than I want to do then cry my heart out, but even more than that I just want her to be happy, even if it couldn’t be me. Why am i typing this out on the internet? maybe i just wish to be heard honestly.
It's hard to admit it but being refused isn't the end of the world. Even if it passes through cutting the ties, it's alright if that brings you the best option. Respect and benefit should be basis of any relationship and if it's not possible then there's no harm to move on.
This should be mandatory viewing. So much hurt could be preventable once someone has coping methods and the realization that they are not entitled to other peoples time and energy.
To the person out there that may feel like you are being rejected, you're not being rejected. It's just that he/she cares for you immensely especially if they care to walk/talk to you and considered going out with/having plans with you. That person is just as afraid as you are and might not be telling you everything about themselves in fear that you might reject them due to their circumstances or other aspects of themselves. I was in this situation a little while back and I didn't say much because I was afraid she would push me away and I didn't want her to know that I still living with my parents, which is embarrassing to say. I really did care about her and wanted to go out, as I did ask, and she said yes. It's just that I couldn't say anything else or make things move forward more due to her finding out that I was still with my parents. It hit me like a bullet when I felt pushed away, but I knew this might happen. I just wanted to stay with her for as long as I could cause it made me incredibly happy to be near her. I'm still dealing with the pain and sting that the feeling of not being near her and feeling like she thinks I didn't care at all, today. I just want her to know that I cared more than I could say, and she meant so much to me. I haven't talked to her for 7 months or so and she said she was getting a new job, so it might be too late to see her again. Now I have to deal with all this pain and sting because I still feel attached to her and care for her.
Lately I had been struggling with looking for a job (a lot) even if this is not very descent. This video made me break in tears as I thought that nobody really would believe me how not getting the job you wanted over and over started to feel something just as close as being rejected and at some point I was falling in deep depression and with paranoia believing that there’s seriously something wrong with me and I don’t know what is it… It’s not that I’m happy or relieved that I’m not the only dealing with this, I wish nobody would deal with it actually. Somehow it does makes me feel not as bad as I was just moments ago, and also that I’m not the only one and if people did not give up then I will not
Today she destroyed me. For weeks we spoke we everyday. She was so intelligent, caring and curious. It was such a delight. We spoke to each other when times were tough. I thought she was the one, but eventually she started dating again. And threw me completely out of the picture. Its like all that bonding was for nothing and i wasn't important anymore. Not only did i lose the love of my life, i lost a great friend😢
@@Nestera-ys2nk sorry for the late response. To be real time will make things better, just don't be too close to her. I'm still friends with her but not like before
@@finnishlankans just accept the reality my friend, there are more girls outside, stay away for a while from your friend and time will help you with the pain.
Parents or caregivers need to teach how to handle it early in a child's life. Sadly some parents reject their own child and attempt to hurt them one way or another while also not teaching them to handle it. In some societies certain populations need this skill more than others but everyone could do to learn this for the good of society in general.
People have different sensitivity leaves to rejection due to childhood trauma. Second, you can tell someone who has been rejected their whole life to deal with it.
Rejections are (in my opinion/experience) OPPORTUNITIES to LEARN what/how I’ve, individually, said/acted towards a person or group that resulted in the rejection, a United States Marine once told me, “PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY,” my adaptation of this statement is that further analysis can result in EMOTIONAL PAIN OF REJECTION BEING AN EXERCISE FOR THE EMOTIONAL BODY, aka your mind. More, another quote I was told by a friend stated, “Rejection will make you stronger, there are plenty of fish in the sea,” he said this in context that I was rejected by many women over and over for KNOWN reasons that I came to on much reflection, “I need to be more selfish with MY TIME, if a person will not give you the time of day to even have a conversation over a cup of coffee from Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, etc, then just STOP wasting your precious time/life on this person and move on- someone WILL appreciate you.
know your relationship with the person. Does the rejection matter? Reflect on your self view. They might be rejecting you because of their own view of themselves. Rejection isn't just about you. Their rejection is not proof that there is something wrong with you. Every relationship is unique And you are never alone. Reconnect with those who already accept you.
I think this is a good video on an endless topic that can have various implications. It shows just how earth shattering it probably is to have those close to you reject you, and why it's a good idea to not lean 100% on any one person, in the case you're rejected. (family, friend, or otherwise) It also shows just how destabilizing it is for people who poor family dynamics, causing attachment issues.
the line 3:20 is so true..we sometimes misinterpret the neutral reactions of others as rejection..and this really gave the way to me..that what possibly i have to ask myself the very next time..thank u, u r my one of fav channel..
That's why I'm always prefer loneliness to thinking about rejection anymore, contacting with people is just causing an endless problems along the lines maybe there is a natural needing to live in society but keeping a little contact with a lot of caution and with clear distance between you and them is helping, finally loneliness is not cool but it's way better than dealing with people
I talked to this girl for 3 years getting to know her and over the past year she became friends with my sister so that made things difficult and I thought I would finally ask the question before it became to late but that had became the case because she said that we should just be friends instead of dateing to keep our well built relationship and so she could keep her relationship with my sister as well and this hit me hard and I have been avoiding her the past few days but she won’t leave me alone joking with me and messing with me but I don’t want to be friends anymore because it just doesn’t feel the same anymore so I don’t know what to do anymore.
Rejection is just part of life, knowing how to deal with it is a mark of maturity. Pain is a teacher, make sure to learn from it and make a positive outcome in your life.
There is this nightmarish quality with this experience. Like the worst you imagined came to good that too in a lascivious way. Insult added to injury. Feeling of being condescended over. That of cheating and deceit. The intriguing mind that lied all this time under the shell made of sweetness. Like the desecration of your gentle love. The softness inside us been treated with utter derision. Our dignity hurt, to some degree., maybe. The greed to get to have a last audience with her. That mean emotion. The world comes towards me in its horrifying power. The blow to vitality and masculinity. But a lesson learnt. What I am feeling is the worst I ever felt in matters of heart. I only wish it hadn't happened. But it did. And will become stronger after this. This is what most of us humanity feel at least once in their lives. Severe heartbreak. Or do they? Still, the visceral pain of failure in a romantic pursuit is what I feel as a part of one shared humanity. Being eventually getting shown the proof that you, after all, just may not be destinybound to receive that Great Love you thought you were. It'll hurt for a while. But time heals, as it has healed you before.
Just got officially rejected by my crush. He’s talking to a new girl now and I will probably be crying in bed tonight, I’ve liked him for almost and year and a half
@@thorpe1178 yeah, after being rejected I don’t even know if I’m still totally in love with him still because I haven’t seen him in person after he texted me that, so idk
I have been rejected so many times I just keep all my feelings inside . I rely on God mostly yet must say it would be nice to be supported and accepted it will definitely help me a lot and I would be much happier. I never say how I truly feel
Earlier this month I met my online friend, with whom I have been texting from time to time for the last 8 years. After the first meet, IDK why but I fell in love with her, especially her kind and decent behavior which is rare nowadays. After crying for two weeks, I asked and got rejected, as she already has someone even now.
I was exactly needing this ❤ I don’t have a good relationship with my father and that prevents me from having a relationship with any of my relatives, each time I kinda accept to join the expect from me to say that I’m wrong and if not then they try to hit my self esteem, I guess I should try to build a stronger relationship with the ones already accept me, TY TED-Ed ❤
Well, the best advice I can give regarding this it to stay strong and think positively, of all the times you were not rejected. Rejection is inevitable and happens to everyone throughout life. It's not worth dwelling on the negatives all the time. You'll never live that way.
I just appreciate how you are real with people you are so right. Live it people need to accept themselves. Love it keep letting ppl. Their flaws Noone else does. I love your videos. Keep being real l. Your different and you talk wisdom. Ppl need to hear your wisdom. Keep it real. Alot of people love you.
After promising us a future of marriage and children, he told me he's not ready to work through the relationship but it feels more like a task to him. Rejection and betrayal hurts
This is actually a good video to talk about. Well, in my personal experience, I do feel those but I am learning to easily quench them and just claim that this is my world. I can do whatever I want.
You don't have to go back to prehistory. Even in modern society, being excluded from a group have a large effect on our ability to have a family, find a job etc. The feeling of rejection is horrible but I don't think of it as an over reaction.
I am a Christian Egyptian, I always feel rejected by Muslim majority because of their rac//ist beli//efs .. that led me to complete social isolation, and by the time I felt like my brain was not performing well .. Now I have no option to live an ordinary life except leaving for a western country that really respects human beings and appreciates its value.
to all those who go through such a kind of pain (which, indeed, is pretty much the worse, situationships can be really cruel and painful) just stay motivated and turn to your friends. speak with them about your feelings. it works wonders when you have someone you can talk to. if they are real friends, they support you and try to build you up. it can potentially take a long time, yes, but if you also distract yourself with your hobbies, friends, family, etc... the pain slowly but surely decreases :) i got rejected a little more than one month ago after a situationship. after 20 years on this earth, this would have been my first relationship and it really hurt at first. right now, i'd say that i am quite stable again, which once again proves that time, it sound so cliche i know haha, really heals all wounds eventually :)
a little update: we had to do a presentation for uni together and she dumped me again 45 minutes before our first meeting regarding this matter. i now have to do it all alone. the audacity to even do such a thing... it would have been a very formal meeting purely about the presentation but to now leave me all alone in this very urgent matter... with also the exams lurking around the corner :,)
But what if it is constant rejection from a career perspective and it affects your confidence to pursue even the things you love - especially from an academia perspective? :(
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Cool
Hello ted can you transfer to tagalog?many young filipino also watching you especially me.
Well done 👍
can i help to translate？
The worst kind of rejection is when someone gets close to you, gives you hope to be together and then reject you. This kind of behavior is beyond cruel.
It happened to me earlier this year and I even go to a psychologist because of this
My heart is so broken
Self love mate.... that's how we beat this pain
Indeed
It’t difficult to know when to trust and put more emotions into these acts that seem to be from an honest interest but you don’t really know
I'm glad that they didn't only consider romantic rejections but also platonic rejection as well. Belonging within a group is as important as belonging with someone (if not more).
@Mark McEwen i feel u bro
i have had a few romantic breakups and yeah they hurt but nothing has ever hurt like being rejected by the one friend i actually talked everything with. When he said he didnt wish to talk to me anymore i was broken for weeks and a few times a say i would forget why i was sad and think "hm if im sad i should talk to him" only to remember. He is better off now we are apart and im not massively worse off (neutral effect at best) but damn it hurts.
@@ireneqq2300 im so sorry, youre prob a wonderful person, he prob just wanted something different. I remember breaking off with my bestfriend at the time cuz of a cold war between us and I wonder if she misses me too, cuz she was a very important part of my life. He may have moved on but you both have impacted each other more than you realized.
When I saw the title, I assumed they primarily meant rejection from interviews/school applications, etc. That's what I'm deeply scared of. 💀
@@LittleDogTobi me too bro
The most painful rejection was when they didn't tell you but made you feel it.
Me Right now 💔💔
I feel this hard😢
Even worse when they make you feel like they like you by calling you cute names and sending you cute pic's, but when you wanna make sure you ask them if they really like you and you are like they will definitely say yes, but bamm! "No, not really." Feels like a gunshot to my heart
@@heisenberg4939 They might have a dysfunctional attachment style. Actions speak louder than words. They might not want you to get too close emotionally, so they lie about their true feelings.
I am such a person, and I pretty much lost a relationship of 17 years because I was too afraid of opening up and telling her how much I love her. It's only part of the problems in my relationship, but perhaps it can help you understand such a person.
You yourself are probably attracted to these kind of people for a reason as well.
You said it 🥲
Ask yourself:
1. Relationship type. Acquantaince or long term?
2. Low opinion of themselves
3. Do the other person value the relationship as you do?
Solution: Reconnect with those who value you.
nobody values me :(
@@becky5146 agreed
Do you learn English yesterday?
@@ShimmeringPilgrim Irony 💀
@@fromfareast3070 maybe you don’t value yourself, by writing this and expect someone else to value you as a replacement for your lacking self-value you display here. If not, it is up to you and only you to connect to others.
Anyone feeling rejection right now, know you’re loved and keep pushing on
Well said, if anyone here thinks life is cruel, remember you're not alone. God is with you!
I know. It still hurts but Im able to move forward. Just a big life change
I'm not loved, that why I was rejected
@@thehahvokexperience you are my brother! I’m here to talk if you want
Thank you
I love that this doesn’t downplay how much rejection can hurt. Remember, accepting rejection gracefully doesn’t mean you have to pretend it doesn’t hurt. If you’re rejected romantically, it’s okay to take time away from the person who rejected you, or to even end the friendship permanently if you know you’ll never be satisfied being just friends with them.
Relationships should be based on mutual consent and benefit, and if you can’t find a solution that you’ll both be happy in, there’s nothing wrong with ending it.
I can relate to this so much. Rejection hurts and it's okay to find ways to heal. If mutual consent and respect can't be found, it's best to end a friendship.
EXACTLY
This comment struck a cord in me. Maybe this is the sign I've been waiting for for 2 years. Maybe it's time to end things.
Thank you. I watch an inspirational video at the end of my every day and I found this one at the end of the day to help with what I went through tonight and I read your comment I thank you much
I'm working on the first half of your comment right now. Needing space because I'm just so upset...
Love you mom, for always being there at the toughest and the most painful of times, to help me heal.
❤❤❤
This hits hard when your classmates that you knew well suddenly ignores you after semester break.
Yes
😔
Dude, that person does that because they themselves are dealing with emotional baggage. Don't worry, just leave them alone.
@@IRosamelia 100%
@calileooo omg finally its here omit guyshsj mini ths here ITS HERE 🤬🤬💀🗿🗿🤯😤🤯🗿🤬
To me, the worst rejection comes when you truly love someone, some group, or some job. They hold a piece of your consciousness that you cannot fully forget. When you are rejected on this level, it is more painful than simply not being recognized or accepted. I still carry pain from rejections more than 30 years ago (marriage) and 10 years ago (fired from job due to office politics).
how did you overcome these rejection?
@@hhanie-ng5619 wow. Thanks for asking. I successfully dealt with infidelity via divorce as she wanted to continue the affair. I successfully dealt with the job loss by finding other positions in life where I was accepted and appreciated. My consciousness can never forget the heartbreak, but I can live mostly in the present and be grateful by recognizing the love that exists around me. I love my wife, dog, extended family, clean air, clean water, and all of nature's beauty to name a few.
Really! It hurt that bad? I was deeply in love with a girl but she only considered me as a friend although the best friend nonetheless, still when she rejected me eventually, there were misunderstanding, fights and I was deeply hurt. What compounded the problem was that I had to go to office everyday and see her face as we were in the same team.
A short term relationship with another girl, a job transfer and a change of city later, I was finally able to shake her off. I realised I was giving her too much importance, there is just one life and change is the only constant, people come and go etc. Also, out of sight out of mind seemed to have always worked for me.
@@suvrojitroy1093 I've also been going through that. I was profoundly in love with a girl in my class, but she also considered me a mere friend --- albeit a very close one. It made me extremely self-concscious, not so much about my personality and behaviour (because I have been doing everything I can to be the best man I can be) but about my appearance... of which I cannot change much. This is because (a) she is gorgeous, and (b) she was attracted to another guy who was white and "good-looking" according to what you would see in Hollywood, for the most part. While I was Indian with an unusually big nose and a somewhat misaligned jaw (and a half-broken tooth). I felt like I didn't belong there, in the West with all these perfect people many of whom can essentially choose who they want to be with. The realisation that I can be the most virtuous, charismatic and successful man and still be rejected by someone I held so dear was jarring, and ever since I realised it was love I felt for her, I often feel a shiver of loneliness whenever I am very tired or am trying to go to sleep, thinking the moment would be so much more fulfilling if she were there next to me...
Of course, it would not be particularly virtuous of me to continue to feel resentful about this rejection. She is a very kind and conscientious person. Even when she does not show it, she means good for everyone around her. It is just that at this point in her life, she might value appearance more than other aspects in a partner... and who knows, it might work out for her. Maybe she finds someone who is handsome _and_ a good man, in which case all the more power to her. Or maybe I'm completely wrong about her prioritising appearance and it's really some other reason for which she rejected me: it could be that I am inadvertently clinging on to whatever moral support I can get to degrade her personality, which is the last thing I should be doing if I really love her because it could just be WRONG.
In any case, we have graduated and she is moving abroad for university. I wish nothing but the best for her, for me, and for everyone else in this world.
r = a(1 - sin\theta)
@@architchoudhary4782Bkl
The worst rejection is the one that comes from the one you trusted the most.
Yes 😥
Damn anime rots the brain
@@esscate Depends on which anime you watch
Easy solution: Trust no one. [cue X-files theme]
@@T-T.... nah it just does universally lmao
Rejection is protection. 🙏 been rejected by crushes, jobs, scholarships. But now I can’t ask for better things with a loving partner, a flexible job and about to do my master’s with a full scholarship. Rejections really serve as a sign that some things or people aren’t meant for me and save me headaches. I’ll embrace more rejections in the rest of my life 😊
Well said !
I don't think that is comforting for many. It feels like you can embrace rejection - because you already have what you want. (good partner, good job, etc) but if you didn't still have those things, or lose those things again, the pain returns. Rejection is rejection: usually it's not out of ill will, but it's also not out of protection.
Thank you for your sharing, that’s so deep❤❤❤
I'm so happy for you. I know it hurts 💔
@@evindrewsexactly. It’s easy to say this once you have it all, but when you have nothing… It’s just awful.
I've been rejected many times. Yet it's so human that I don't feel sad anymore
But how did you reach that
@djawhrkads5763 By literally being desensitized to rejection.
@@djawhrsofie5763 Something happens so often that you have grown numb to it
@@ChurlzVA so basically, get rejected a lot
not gonna lie, the comments helped more than the video
Agreed!
Right!
You’ve got this 🤗
It is so painful. As I get older and am single, it gets harder because indeed it is a survival instinct. I feel it! Glad someone is talking about it
I always get discriminated at college. First, I cried a lot. After that, I started caring less. It was so horrible that I isolated myself too much. Last week, when other class girl said my drawings are really good. It was the genuine compliment I got after a long time. I started crying. There are still good people out there, who would always enjoy your company. 🥰😊
Good story 😂
Wow, you're very sensitive. Take good care of yourself! You don't need other people's approval, remember all the good stuff you have in your life.
Bro there isn't trust me or am unlucky asf
@@yabxx2317 good old pessimism
@@yabxx2317 Yab, there isn't what, good people out there? Or people who enjoy your company? It's not the same thing 🤔
I've been flooded with breakup videos this week (because...algorithm) and this is the only one by far that I find being able to help me cope.
Some key points I found helpful:
-Just because someone couldn't show up in the way you wanted them to in the relationship doesn't mean they didn't care about it.
-When we have low self-value it's easy to misconstrue neutral reactions as negative ones.
-It's helpful to self-reflect and determine whether you were expecting more acceptance than was reasonable from your partner.
-Your partner wants something different from the relationship, and sometimes what they want might be unreasonable or unfair.
Glad I'm not the only one who got targeted by this algorithm lol. Yt knows my life too well..
4:04 "The pain you're feeling is just part of your system, nudging you to think about your Interpersonal relationship"
Gotta note this!
The first rejection hurts the most, I bawl and begged the other party. And then I learnt about it. So let's embrace it guys!
Confident people can just brush rejection off but when you’re not confident you can’t... when you try so hard and want something so much to then get rejected is devastating, soul destroying. Constant rejection erodes any self esteem, everything . At its worst makes you want to just give up and make you suicidal 😢
Me right now 💔💔 I can’t breath it’s so painful
Me too 💔💔
Yeah.......tell me about it...😢
I don’t care how confident you are, rejection hurts when someone you care about or claims to care about you rejects you.
@@esperanza7948its been months how are you feeling now? Does it get better
Going through it rn
For me, rejection or abandonment always makes me consider if there is something wrong with me. I often have times where I think "Am I rude? Am I argumentative? Am I annoying?" and I can never find anything I didn't already know. I think some people, especially in high school wherw I am at, are just too invested in "popularity" or being cool to make new friends with people that aren't popular
Being rejected is a blessing in disguise, because once somebody makes it clear it doesn't want you, then you can move on and search for people out there who are craving to have you bust just didn't have the chance to tell you because you were wasting your time chasing an illusion. Move on from rejection and move towards what you deserve
Good advice, I think their are some people reaching out to me but due to some social anxiety it has been hard for me to connect. I’ll try to change to that. 😅
I was rejected by a crush 50 years ago. It was devastating. It shaped me for many years . Fast forward, the same crush’s best friend told me he and my crush talked about me over the years and that he should seek me out and maybe marry me.
For the first time ever, I felt free to say No… the years of pain left my soul forever. I guess I actually rejected him. A therapist would have helped me arrive sooner but I was too embarrassed to tell anyone of my struggles. My upbringing didn’t allow for us to share our feelings with our mother.
Rejection is not a blessing , it's a curse.
Definitely relate to the sentiments this video.
Sometimes people reject you for reasons you can't understand. Those are harder to work through, because you genuinely can't figure out what went wrong so it's more difficult to reflect on what happened
This is a lesson many men need to learn these days. Rejection doesn't mean you're bad or worthless or unwanted.
It does
It's a lesson for women too
@@crazyfox9oh it's a lesson for everyone.
Women too 💔
It does nobody cares about me why would anyone want me I am ugly
It's a good feeling when you realize these thoughts that you had was natural and the thoughts you had afterwards that rejection was actually healthy not denial. It was a good subject. I got kinda mocked by a stranger in my first days in a new city and a new environment few days ago. I was worried that I even cared about it. I feel more reliefed now thanks to you.
when someone who has a high influence in your life rejects you, it really hurts. compared to a stranger with no to little interaction, it doesnt even sting and is viewed like a joke.
Needed this. There's someone I'm interested in but the fear of getting rejected is holding me back from even trying my luck
Go ahead, nobody really knows what they're doing so there's always a chance
any updates..?
I just got rejected but it’s all in the name of the game. Don’t let it get you down, lads.
Its better to face it and accept the truth. We cant hide our feelings nor supress them. I got rejected today but thats life. I been working on myself latly and that doesnt change. Stay strong my friends and let the light shine upon your loving heart ❤️
Finally, so many young male and female teens are straight-up going incel due to the unrealistic portrayal of love and ways of expressing it as seen on TV shows, movies and celebrity life. People, young and old, need to understand that love and acceptance are not something to unlock or achieve. It can be one-sided, or it can be mutual and spontaneous. In a world where we rationalise everything, this irrational connection confuses some, and the pain can change a person for the worst. Early education in this matter is key rather than avoiding this time bomb.
American Education System: “lol nope.”
I just recently started going into the dating/hookup market. I had cases that I get a message to meet, I get excited and ready. And then they block me shortly before the meetup. It stings hard, but it's temporary.
What helps is reminding yourself that it's their loss, not yours. To accept that getting rejected is part of life, and move on.
Also have a support network does help a lot, even if it's only 1 or 2 people. Though if you don't have such network to help you out. I would start getting one before jumping in dating.
I really love the realization that there is a difference between actual rejection, and you simply not getting the response you hoped for that may have been unreasonable to begin with
"that may have been unreasonable" Uh... that is STILL rejection. Whether it is unreasonable by any imaginary objective standard would still not make it not rejection.
A new day and a new video that doesn't say anything new about rejection. I think this topic requires a much more honest and heartfelt approach. To understand it, there is a need of confessions and confrontations. No one (including me) understands it until they experience one.
Yes just what I needed before valentine's day.
Jesus loves you!
Believe in His death and resurrection and repent of your sins and be saved!
Remember that He died and rose up again for you to be in heaven with Him!
Have an amazing day ❤️❤❤❤
@@Gg-ij7li So far I haven't committed any "sins", so could you explain me for what exactly should I repent for.....
@@kimjongun6746 - Kim jong eun
we love ourselves more than anyone but for some reason we value their opinion more than ours
I never had anyone tell me that they are proud of me or wants to support me or being kind to me reaching out trying to help me I have no one like that . That is what I actually need yet I have to keep supporting myself and God supports me as well
I got rejected. After 2 years of knowing her. It definitely hurts… There’s nothing more than I want to do then cry my heart out, but even more than that I just want her to be happy, even if it couldn’t be me.
Why am i typing this out on the internet? maybe i just wish to be heard honestly.
I hear you!
I hear you
I am with you I feel the same I had a year and a half relationship and I really thought she was the one
I like how it's TED-ED essentially giving you social advice.
Best advice I ever got: relax into the pain, allow it without trying to change it
It's hard to admit it but being refused isn't the end of the world. Even if it passes through cutting the ties, it's alright if that brings you the best option. Respect and benefit should be basis of any relationship and if it's not possible then there's no harm to move on.
This should be mandatory viewing. So much hurt could be preventable once someone has coping methods and the realization that they are not entitled to other peoples time and energy.
And women are not entitled to mine.
Literally needed this this week thank you
To the person out there that may feel like you are being rejected, you're not being rejected. It's just that he/she cares for you immensely especially if they care to walk/talk to you and considered going out with/having plans with you. That person is just as afraid as you are and might not be telling you everything about themselves in fear that you might reject them due to their circumstances or other aspects of themselves. I was in this situation a little while back and I didn't say much because I was afraid she would push me away and I didn't want her to know that I still living with my parents, which is embarrassing to say. I really did care about her and wanted to go out, as I did ask, and she said yes. It's just that I couldn't say anything else or make things move forward more due to her finding out that I was still with my parents. It hit me like a bullet when I felt pushed away, but I knew this might happen. I just wanted to stay with her for as long as I could cause it made me incredibly happy to be near her. I'm still dealing with the pain and sting that the feeling of not being near her and feeling like she thinks I didn't care at all, today. I just want her to know that I cared more than I could say, and she meant so much to me. I haven't talked to her for 7 months or so and she said she was getting a new job, so it might be too late to see her again. Now I have to deal with all this pain and sting because I still feel attached to her and care for her.
Lately I had been struggling with looking for a job (a lot) even if this is not very descent.
This video made me break in tears as I thought that nobody really would believe me how not getting the job you wanted over and over started to feel something just as close as being rejected and at some point I was falling in deep depression and with paranoia believing that there’s seriously something wrong with me and I don’t know what is it…
It’s not that I’m happy or relieved that I’m not the only dealing with this, I wish nobody would deal with it actually. Somehow it does makes me feel not as bad as I was just moments ago, and also that I’m not the only one and if people did not give up then I will not
Falling in love is like giving that person a loaded gun and trusting them not to pull the trigger
I would say " to show yourself vulnerable " instead fall in love
Absolutely true
Today she destroyed me. For weeks we spoke we everyday. She was so intelligent, caring and curious. It was such a delight. We spoke to each other when times were tough. I thought she was the one, but eventually she started dating again. And threw me completely out of the picture. Its like all that bonding was for nothing and i wasn't important anymore.
Not only did i lose the love of my life, i lost a great friend😢
Bro dont give up you can do this.I just hope that you are happy ok?
this video is so good! im overwhelmed by these animations and how good they bring the message.
Rejection from one of your parent's, worst pain ever. They absolutely want nothing to do with you😭
Being rejected by my female best friend was the worst rejection ever. It hurts more than bleeding from a cut 😢
How did you deal with it
Ngl I just got rejected it hurts AF 😞 I don't know wut to do she was my best friend
@@Nestera-ys2nk sorry for the late response. To be real time will make things better, just don't be too close to her. I'm still friends with her but not like before
@@finnishlankans just accept the reality my friend, there are more girls outside, stay away for a while from your friend and time will help you with the pain.
Bro I just got that pain today.
When she has started ignoring my message today she never did this before.
Idk where I went wrong
do remember that when rejecting someone, not only you feel pain, but it can be quite hard for the other party to reject you too
Parents or caregivers need to teach how to handle it early in a child's life. Sadly some parents reject their own child and attempt to hurt them one way or another while also not teaching them to handle it. In some societies certain populations need this skill more than others but everyone could do to learn this for the good of society in general.
People have different sensitivity leaves to rejection due to childhood trauma. Second, you can tell someone who has been rejected their whole life to deal with it.
I just got rejected from a job. Made me go to this video, to cope.
I like this! "There's nothing wrong with you"
Rejections are (in my opinion/experience) OPPORTUNITIES to LEARN what/how I’ve, individually, said/acted towards a person or group that resulted in the rejection, a United States Marine once told me, “PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY,” my adaptation of this statement is that further analysis can result in EMOTIONAL PAIN OF REJECTION BEING AN EXERCISE FOR THE EMOTIONAL BODY, aka your mind. More, another quote I was told by a friend stated, “Rejection will make you stronger, there are plenty of fish in the sea,” he said this in context that I was rejected by many women over and over for KNOWN reasons that I came to on much reflection, “I need to be more selfish with MY TIME, if a person will not give you the time of day to even have a conversation over a cup of coffee from Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, etc, then just STOP wasting your precious time/life on this person and move on- someone WILL appreciate you.
Thanks for this comment
rejection is even worse for those of us who are ADHDers as we deal with rejection sensitivity dysphoria...
I have ADHD too, I’m rejection sensitive as well 😅
Wdym rejection sensitivity
What happens when you’re rejected by a person who really knows you, who you know as well, and who made the rejection extremely personal?
know your relationship with the person. Does the rejection matter?
Reflect on your self view. They might be rejecting you because of their own view of themselves.
Rejection isn't just about you.
Their rejection is not proof that there is something wrong with you.
Every relationship is unique And you are never alone.
Reconnect with those who already accept you.
I think this is a good video on an endless topic that can have various implications. It shows just how earth shattering it probably is to have those close to you reject you, and why it's a good idea to not lean 100% on any one person, in the case you're rejected. (family, friend, or otherwise) It also shows just how destabilizing it is for people who poor family dynamics, causing attachment issues.
the line 3:20 is so true..we sometimes misinterpret the neutral reactions of others as rejection..and this really gave the way to me..that what possibly i have to ask myself the very next time..thank u, u r my one of fav channel..
I don’t get it could you please explain?
When someone rejects you romantically, say, “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to find someone better than you.” Put yourself first.
Don’t say that
This actually helped a lot and made me realize if I do the rejecting I can't be hurt
That's why I'm always prefer loneliness to thinking about rejection anymore, contacting with people is just causing an endless problems along the lines maybe there is a natural needing to live in society but keeping a little contact with a lot of caution and with clear distance between you and them is helping, finally loneliness is not cool but it's way better than dealing with people
I talked to this girl for 3 years getting to know her and over the past year she became friends with my sister so that made things difficult and I thought I would finally ask the question before it became to late but that had became the case because she said that we should just be friends instead of dateing to keep our well built relationship and so she could keep her relationship with my sister as well and this hit me hard and I have been avoiding her the past few days but she won’t leave me alone joking with me and messing with me but I don’t want to be friends anymore because it just doesn’t feel the same anymore so I don’t know what to do anymore.
Rejection is just part of life, knowing how to deal with it is a mark of maturity. Pain is a teacher, make sure to learn from it and make a positive outcome in your life.
There is this nightmarish quality with this experience. Like the worst you imagined came to good that too in a lascivious way. Insult added to injury. Feeling of being condescended over. That of cheating and deceit. The intriguing mind that lied all this time under the shell made of sweetness. Like the desecration of your gentle love. The softness inside us been treated with utter derision. Our dignity hurt, to some degree., maybe.
The greed to get to have a last audience with her. That mean emotion.
The world comes towards me in its horrifying power. The blow to vitality and masculinity.
But a lesson learnt.
What I am feeling is the worst I ever felt in matters of heart. I only wish it hadn't happened. But it did. And will become stronger after this. This is what most of us humanity feel at least once in their lives. Severe heartbreak. Or do they?
Still, the visceral pain of failure in a romantic pursuit is what I feel as a part of one shared humanity. Being eventually getting shown the proof that you, after all, just may not be destinybound to receive that Great Love you thought you were.
It'll hurt for a while. But time heals, as it has healed you before.
Just got officially rejected by my crush. He’s talking to a new girl now and I will probably be crying in bed tonight, I’ve liked him for almost and year and a half
So you've like for him for over a year? Ouch! That's gonna hurt real bad, be prepared, it's gonna be very painful I'm very familiar with that
@@thorpe1178 yeah, after being rejected I don’t even know if I’m still totally in love with him still because I haven’t seen him in person after he texted me that, so idk
I have been rejected so many times I just keep all my feelings inside . I rely on God mostly yet must say it would be nice to be supported and accepted it will definitely help me a lot and I would be much happier. I never say how I truly feel
I love this channel. You guys really care about your viewers and it shows 💚
Earlier this month I met my online friend, with whom I have been texting from time to time for the last 8 years. After the first meet, IDK why but I fell in love with her, especially her kind and decent behavior which is rare nowadays.
After crying for two weeks, I asked and got rejected, as she already has someone even now.
You aren't serious, how can you expect to text someone for the last 8 yrs and expect him to be single
I got rejected by a group and all of them are my friends and im kind to them. I cant sleep and hurt.
It is important that kids learn to deal with loss, defeats, and rejections. What the elders show, the kids will know.
Saving this for when I ask my crush out, wish me luck…
How did it go
I never thought there would be a day were someone makes a video of my whole life, tnx ted ed.
I was exactly needing this ❤ I don’t have a good relationship with my father and that prevents me from having a relationship with any of my relatives, each time I kinda accept to join the expect from me to say that I’m wrong and if not then they try to hit my self esteem, I guess I should try to build a stronger relationship with the ones already accept me, TY TED-Ed ❤
Well, the best advice I can give regarding this it to stay strong and think positively, of all the times you were not rejected. Rejection is inevitable and happens to everyone throughout life. It's not worth dwelling on the negatives all the time. You'll never live that way.
these videos save my day
Been at a point when a lot of people habe rejected me. Relationships, Jobs, Relatives, Close Friends, Dating, you name it
Never knew i would have to search up this
Me neither bro
Love the Tara Brach feature in the quote. She's amazing
Great video, amazing animations. This illustrates the harm of validation seeking!
I just appreciate how you are real with people you are so right. Live it people need to accept themselves. Love it keep letting ppl. Their flaws Noone else does. I love your videos. Keep being real l. Your different and you talk wisdom. Ppl need to hear your wisdom. Keep it real. Alot of people love you.
After promising us a future of marriage and children, he told me he's not ready to work through the relationship but it feels more like a task to him. Rejection and betrayal hurts
always try best effort to people I think precious to me. don't judge myself by others perspectives.
I can deal with the rejection, but the pain... The pain is what I'm still struggling to deal with.
Me right now 💔 the pain OMG i can’t I’m depressed now
This is actually a good video to talk about. Well, in my personal experience, I do feel those but I am learning to easily quench them and just claim that this is my world. I can do whatever I want.
You don't have to go back to prehistory. Even in modern society, being excluded from a group have a large effect on our ability to have a family, find a job etc. The feeling of rejection is horrible but I don't think of it as an over reaction.
whenever someones mean to me I imagine these ted ed narrations consoling me.
This was so helpful. Thank you
The animation for this video is so cute :) and a helpful guide to navigating personal relationships
I didn't get rejected by my crush I got rejected by the world
The entertaining world of important refund info
I am a Christian Egyptian, I always feel rejected by Muslim majority because of their rac//ist beli//efs .. that led me to complete social isolation, and by the time I felt like my brain was not performing well .. Now I have no option to live an ordinary life except leaving for a western country that really respects human beings and appreciates its value.
to all those who go through such a kind of pain (which, indeed, is pretty much the worse, situationships can be really cruel and painful)
just stay motivated and turn to your friends. speak with them about your feelings. it works wonders when you have someone you can talk to. if they are real friends, they support you and try to build you up. it can potentially take a long time, yes, but if you also distract yourself with your hobbies, friends, family, etc... the pain slowly but surely decreases :)
i got rejected a little more than one month ago after a situationship. after 20 years on this earth, this would have been my first relationship and it really hurt at first. right now, i'd say that i am quite stable again, which once again proves that time, it sound so cliche i know haha, really heals all wounds eventually :)
a little update:
we had to do a presentation for uni together and she dumped me again 45 minutes before our first meeting regarding this matter. i now have to do it all alone. the audacity to even do such a thing...
it would have been a very formal meeting purely about the presentation but to now leave me all alone in this very urgent matter... with also the exams lurking around the corner :,)
Videos are always relatable to daily life
Amazing analysis
But what if it is constant rejection from a career perspective and it affects your confidence to pursue even the things you love - especially from an academia perspective? :(
I needed to hear this. Thank you TedEd
Thank you Team Ted-Ed ♥ for adding so much value to my life♥
Finding people who accept you is much easier said than done.
Right? This video definitely assumes that we all have healthy vibrant relationships to fall back on