"Singing songs about being the world's happiest stabber" as Jon plays the opening notes of Mack The Knife. A good Brecht reference is always worth Weill.
Kai Herrmann ‘The Threepenny Opera’ wasn’t a ‘classical’ opera-it’s bequivalent to a Broadway musical, and is a form of popular music. There’s a reason it was titled The ‘Threepenny’ Opera....
When Stephen says, "He's the world's happiest stabber," Jon Batiste plays a few bars of an old song called "Mack the Knife," which is why Stephen cracks up.
You have no idea, I’m watching this in South Africa and can’t believe there are people in America who don’t see their slowly becoming like any other corrupt countries
@@velimajola5121 No, it's just this current presidency. The country was fine before that, and we'll be fine after the orange man is no longer president haha
@whattpoh45, Rudy is being investigated but has not yet been formally indicted, therefore, they legally can't restrict his travel, because... oh yeah, bill of rights just blew south for the winter... never mind...
It was a plastic fire hat, I was 8, and we were playing minigolf, but I had that exact argument with my brother. "You can't wear that hat! That's my red hat!"
And the land of the free, the home of the brave, elected that buffoon. Thank you, "America," you make me laugh, kind of nervous, tense laughter, but with Colbert, some times, my belly starts aching from so much of it.
In reality, cheeto-in-chief was not elected, in terms of popular vote. The electoral college dumped his orange ass on to US by the ancient terms of voting delegates. Based on false info, and those same out of date rules, there wasn't another solution.
They’re both already well past their pull date and will never live to see a day in prison, unfortunately. Trump is one bucket of KFC away from a stroke and Rudy has some degenerative brain disease, probably wet brain given the amount he drinks. I’d like to store both of them in one of the detention camps where they can enjoy the comfort of a concrete mattress and Mylar blanket.
Lmao I'm picturing Donald eating his tic tacs and deciding as he goes: "this one is a tic, this one is a tac, my favorite! hmm this tic tastes just like a tac! I have the best tic tacs in the world. No one knows tic tacs better than I do."
I’d just like to mention the little ditty Jon plays at 1:03 is the beginning of “Mack the Knife,” a jazz standard about a killer. A great reference to pair with Stephen’s punchline!
Are none of us going to take a minute to appreciate Jon Batiste responding to "song about being the world's happiest stabber" with a Mack the Knife riff?
I seriously wonder with you. I didn't live in NYC during 911 but was there a lot during those years. He seemed like a good leader -but again qualifying that I didn't live there. Could it be that the media rumors are true and he does have an alcohol problem? If it's long term it could explain some of this shi$. What's happened to him? Does he have a family?
20 bucks says something happens to Rudy especially since he threatened to have insurance on Trump. I don't wish anyone even people i hate to be injured or hurt ive seen to much in the Army so i wish everyone good health but this seems very fishy
As an outsider looking in - I do find it amazing that Rudy has even got this far without being tripped up.I'm sure he'll have an island in the South Pacific as a back up!!!
Matúš Mikšík, That joke was meant to be a “sleeper”. Only those ppl really listening to Stephen, were supposed to hear it. That’s why, I think, his voice got so quiet during that one. Did you notice his voice getting so quiet, at all?
i tried but those morons are lost causes... yet they still believe that with their barely Obtained GEDs they cab blame all the immigrants... i mean for F!ck sakes they can't even take my order right without F!cking it up... and that's on top of them being born here and "being fluent English speakers born & raised in the good o us of a"
cmdraftbrn try and get them to break a 3 dollar bill. Yes, it’s a blatant fake, but if you put Trump’s face on it, they’ll fall for it. Don’t worry about getting busted for counterfeiting. Just turn over a copy of the photoshop file and tell the secret service “this is how you recover your budget from all the golfing your principal does...”
Kudos to Jon for playing a few notes of “Mack the Knife” when Stephen started talking about Rudy the stabber dancing around a chalk outline of his victim.
Well, considering the liberal media has been making that very claim, for the last 3 years. Not to mention other ignorant statements, such as "it's the beginning of the end" "This is a tipping point" "Breaking news bombshell" "This is a turning point" And..of course, "Damning new evidence" And yet nothing has changed. I would say Trump isn't the least bit concerned.
Sharon ! No justice is going to get him. He’s not going to jail or even going on probation. He will not face any legal consequences for his law breaking ever, get real. When he’s finished being president he will probably only have a few years of life left anyway. If you want to feel good about something, consider that trump hates himself. He is deeply unhappy and insecure. He knows he’s horrible.
keith hakanson he is concerned because he doesn’t want to be impeached. And he probably worries a little bit about legal trouble, but you’re right he knows that he’s never going to face any serious consequences for breaking the law his entire life.
And so is Kim Jeong Hoon in North Korea, he's making some 'Christmas gifts' for everyone in July along with Trump. Trump and Kim Jeong Hoon are both Darth Vader's that we need to get rid of.
It's already known for years Trump employed immigrants at his properties. The people who Trump and his cult hates are the same people who take on the jobs they themselves don't want.
Trump has been hiring illegal immigrants for years. This came out ages ago. For everything Trump says, there's evidence of him having done or said the opposite.
I don't know what is worse. That he got angry at his father-in-law for wearing his hat, or that such information does not surprise me in the slightest.
I think if everyone in the U.S.A. blows our car horns at 12:01 Jan. 20th simultaneously while he is being removed from white house would be a great send off.
@@elizabethsmith7224 My mother made me read it in high school, and even back then she was conservative and a fan of Rush Limbaugh. I remember thinking, "I don't think this means what you think it means..."
He does do that, apparently bc he thinks the crotch length ties make him look less obese. For Trump to believe a cra-otch length tie is slimming I genuinely believe our fake POTUS is smoking angel dust.
Antionette Wilson THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE IT’S EERIE. Wow. I could never get my head around how / why the GOP all seem to be of the same cult since Trump came to power.
@Antionette Wilson you are so right! And that's why they are acting like lunatics in this process and during the Mueller hearings, too. They themselves are scared sh*tless.
@Antionette Wilson, my apologies for the length but I’ve thought so much about this particular topic. Anyway, I’ve said for some time that Trump/Russia probably has something on many of the Republicans but there is no question in my mind that he has major dirt on Graham. *puts on tin foil hat* My theory is that McCain, for all his faults, was a man of honor and never involved himself in anything that could hurt him politically. McCain never seemed to be worried that Trump had any dirt on him and had no qualms publicly stating how much of a dumpster fire the Tangerine Mussolini is. McCain provided Lindsey with a political safe harbor in which he could express his true feelings of disgust and distaste for Trump. It’s almost as if McCain provided protection for Lindsey (maybe he even had some dirt on Trump?) because Lindsey’s attitude toward Trump took an abrupt turn shortly after McCain’s cancer diagnosis and exit from D.C. I would be willing to bet that Lindsey realized just how screwed he was when Trump let him know what he had on him during the golfing trip they took together. Everything changed after that and I can’t imagine it had anything to do with Lindsey spending an afternoon with Trump and suddenly believing him to be a great and intelligent man. Of course that’s my personal conspiracy theory but it makes so much sense. You don’t go from utterly despising someone to being one of their biggest champions and defenders almost overnight, especially not for someone as nonsensical and egotistical as Trump. Not to mention that, by all accounts, Graham almost worshipped McCain and considered him one of his closest friends so he knows that McCain is turning somersaults in his grave over his newfound adoration and ass-kissing of Trump. For someone who claims to believe in an afterlife, he has to feel that he has deeply disappointed his personal hero. I don’t know what Trump is holding over him but it must be truly awful to make him throw away his honor, integrity, self-respect, and the memory of McCain.
Dackson Flux Trump is a prime example of what happens when someone was born with a silver spoon shoved up their ass, raised in a bubble near-completely disconnected from the real world, given everything they wanted on a whim, and rarely (if ever) being told "no".
I used to think that house of cards was unbelievable. Today it is more believable than what is actually happening. But worse still that it is an actual debate who's the most horrible person the fake president, the guy who played the fake president of the real one is terrifying.
Man!! Rudy takes “going back to the crime scene” to a whole new level!!!
You keep me sane in these insane and scary times. Thank you Stephen 😂
01:03 "Mack The Knife" response was a quick improv. A touch of genius.
Jon is an underrated genius.
Where does he come up with this stuff?
Yep 😁
"Cut the tacs."
Stealth joke. Love it.
"Singing songs about being the world's happiest stabber" as Jon plays the opening notes of Mack The Knife. A good Brecht reference is always worth Weill.
1:00 lol!
Yes, from an German opera from the 1920s. Why does he even know this piece of music?
@@kaiherrmann5815 - because he's a classically trained musician. Jon is very gifted.
@@kaiherrmann5815 Mackie Messer, er hat Zähne....🎶
Kai Herrmann ‘The Threepenny Opera’ wasn’t a ‘classical’ opera-it’s bequivalent to a Broadway musical, and is a form of popular music. There’s a reason it was titled The ‘Threepenny’ Opera....
When Stephen says, "He's the world's happiest stabber," Jon Batiste plays a few bars of an old song called "Mack the Knife," which is why Stephen cracks up.
Thanks I missed that
Thank you
Something about shark's teeth and pearly whites, that's all I can remember. Good song.
You dont have to explain the obvious! As if nobody knows...
John. Bless him.
You can't make this shit up . "As the world laughs" best soap ever
You have no idea, I’m watching this in South Africa and can’t believe there are people in America who don’t see their slowly becoming like any other corrupt countries
I wish it was a soap. As reality, it sucks
@@velimajola5121 No, it's just this current presidency. The country was fine before that, and we'll be fine after the orange man is no longer president haha
CORRECT, hard laughter from Asia. Europe is next. Decolonization never went faster.
We might be sad to see him go...lol no more as the WORLD TURNS 😂👏🤓👍💩🤔
This is such a funny monologue I had to watch it twice. Stephen you have been a life saver through this nightmare.
"I'm not here, I'm over there!" - Giuliani 2019
Truly a stable of geniuses.
Well, horses of a feather.....
*"Rudy's not here, man."*
No matter where he goes there he is .
@Mero Mero Which means he is there.
Is this crazy or what?
Why is Rudy still allowed to travel.... his friend were arrested at the airport on their way to leave USA. Why was Rudy allowed to leave!
Because they know he is stupid enough to come back?
Because him continuing to travel allows more information gathering...
Because he works for trump. Laws and rules don't apply...
@whattpoh45, Rudy is being investigated but has not yet been formally indicted, therefore, they legally can't restrict his travel, because... oh yeah, bill of rights just blew south for the winter... never mind...
To continue to "dig his own grave"... showing up at the scene of the crime!! #Senile!!😂😂
It was a plastic fire hat, I was 8, and we were playing minigolf, but I had that exact argument with my brother. "You can't wear that hat! That's my red hat!"
Daedalusspacegames
Originator!
I love you Stephen Colbert for bringing me back up from this madness every evening!
😳 i heard THAT! 😃👍
Oh Stephen Colbert I love watching your show and it makes me laugh and its so true thank you
"One box of just Tics..."
Proof that he's a Tacs evader.
💙
Great pun!
Haaaaaaaaaa!
Very well done 👍
Dang that’s sharp!😂🤣💛
And the land of the free, the home of the brave, elected that buffoon. Thank you, "America," you make me laugh, kind of nervous, tense laughter, but with Colbert, some times, my belly starts aching from so much of it.
Yeah, Jose. It's that dark laughter. Laugh-or-go-nuts laughter.
In reality, cheeto-in-chief was not elected, in terms of popular vote. The electoral college dumped his orange ass on to US by the ancient terms of voting delegates. Based on false info, and those same out of date rules, there wasn't another solution.
It's like when kids go to the door and say mom says she isn't home.
😂😂😂
Lmao! I did that when I was younger 🤣
I once did that haha.
@Lapin074 So simply, yet so elegantly put, nicely done mate.
@DAVID GOERTZ, says the moron who doesn't understand, that our information comes from Trump, via tweet, or directly out if his mouth.
We can always count on you two to make a bad crime a whole lot worse!
Donnie and Rudy for Prison 2020!
No! Firing Squad for both of em
@@husseinmohammed1431 Or GUILLOTINE .....................
Donnie and Rudy sitting in prison cell, K...I....S....S.....I....N.....G.
They’re both already well past their pull date and will never live to see a day in prison, unfortunately. Trump is one bucket of KFC away from a stroke and Rudy has some degenerative brain disease, probably wet brain given the amount he drinks.
I’d like to store both of them in one of the detention camps where they can enjoy the comfort of a concrete mattress and Mylar blanket.
Strip them of any dignity they have. THEN put them in front of a firing squad.
"Can you imagine his sheets?" For one horrible moment, I was afraid you were going to say, "his shorts". Help! Get that out of my head!
@Dandy Chiggins It will be orange when his done with it.
Best skiddmarks..
@@andreaspedersen3952 Don't you mean "perfect" skidmarks?
🤣
Glad to be blind!
Watching a year later and it's even better! A live show wow! With people & music!
0:56 Jon Batiste drops in with _Mac the Knife,_ and I'm dying. I just love him so much, lols. ^-^
I love the different animations they come up with for the Don and the Giant Impeach Intro!
They've got talent over there.
Lmao I'm picturing Donald eating his tic tacs and deciding as he goes: "this one is a tic, this one is a tac, my favorite! hmm this tic tastes just like a tac! I have the best tic tacs in the world. No one knows tic tacs better than I do."
I read this and felt like I could picture it perfectly. Then realized it's been ever raly he has ever held which made it even funnier.
People are saying these tic tacs are possibly probably the best tic tacs that anyone’s ever seen.
Even his tic tacs have to be white?
@@gregmikulewicz2038 Mexico isn't sending the best tic tacs! Why can't we have more tic tacs from Norway?
Makes me wonder what he meant by Tacs-cuts now.
Did anyone catch the Mack the Knife reference,@1:03 on the piano? ( happy stabber chalk line joke )🤣🤣
Anyone else pick up on Jon’s “Mack the knife” joke?
I swear, that man has a jazz standard ready to go for every occasion.
Mack the knife sorry for being so anal retentive
Its Mack the Knife you idiot.
relax lady, maybe you should go slap and spit on your dog some more
Wow, two people who haven’t seen autocorrect before. Don’t panic, sirs and ladies, it can be fixed.
Nobody else did, just you. Thanks for pointing it out; that's the best way to make the humor more enjoyable.
I’d just like to mention the little ditty Jon plays at 1:03 is the beginning of “Mack the Knife,” a jazz standard about a killer. A great reference to pair with Stephen’s punchline!
It's more like Rudy is burying himself in dirt than digging up dirt on Joe
I like the way you think
trump and Rudy are running out of shovels...
I can picture Rudi as a cat, taking a shit and then burying himself.
Lol and he just can't stop digging himself into a hole at the same time.
@@sandybutt9898 eeeeeeeuuuuuhhhh!😣😮
Two and a half bottles of tic tacs are the most tactics Trump has ever had
It is the Putin aftertaste.
I really like this pun
Awesome!
You win the word play of the day award!
oh this is gold, even the replies are money. thank you!
Oh. That sly reference to "Mack the Knife" from Jon Batiste. Perfect.
This has to be the first time I’ve heard a Shroud of Turin reference on a talk show. 😂 Gold, Stephen!
Are none of us going to take a minute to appreciate Jon Batiste responding to "song about being the world's happiest stabber" with a Mack the Knife riff?
“I’m going to be to busy to play golf.”
- Donald J Trump -
Massive ammout of golf folks, I'll be at the best golf club you've ever seen, so massive and just the best I tell ya.
AFishBicycle As it turns out, he had so much help with all his crimes there was ample time left over for cheating at golf... ; ]
*too
“I don’t stand by anything,” President Trump
classic 😉👍
Does Giuliani have dementia?....seriously.
No, just too much wine and opoids.
Adderall
It's nothing not to worry just a little drain bamage
I seriously wonder with you. I didn't live in NYC during 911 but was there a lot during those years. He seemed like a good leader -but again qualifying that I didn't live there. Could it be that the media rumors are true and he does have an alcohol problem? If it's long term it could explain some of this shi$. What's happened to him? Does he have a family?
It's not obviously dementia, but by all reports he's a very different, and much less competent, person than a decade ago. So something's deteriorated.
'The jobs Americans don't want to do, like gardeners and first lady.'
I CAN'T 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😂
Damn 🔥🔥👍👍👍👍😂😂
Being First Lady to Donald tDUMP is the most difficult job an immigrant can have.Melania have a tennis court built in the WH so she can hear LOVE ❤️.
@DAVID GOERTZ 3:40
@DAVID GOERTZ who'd actually want to be 1st lady to this fool?
"The housekeepers went from serving the tea to spilling the tea." 😆
Omg.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thank you, Stephen, for showing us the truth! Love you.
Rudy is digging up dirt to put in his coffin.
I bet he already brought his coffin to Ukraine to sleep in it during the day, and only comes out at night to commit more crimes.
@@GuillermoSTD hilarious 😂😂
Mack the Knife - for the win!
i wait everyday for stephen's monologues
shawolmblft and let's not forget those lmfao openings!
5:16 the Tic Tacs joke though!
“...one box of just Tic. Cut the Tacs (tax)”
I have to admit, the last 3 years have been the most surreal Monty Python show ever.
Presidential Impeachment:
If not Trump, then who?
If not now, then when?
👨🔬👩🔬🎯
@Jonathan Taylor _people are saying_ weed is the same as meth and alcohol... those silly people
Suzy Q how soon is now?
Clinton was impeached over a blowjob, and Trump can't be impeached over colluding with another country against the United States?
"But... But... Bill Clinton lied about a bj under oath!!!"
-Republicans
20 bucks says something happens to Rudy especially since he threatened to have insurance on Trump. I don't wish anyone even people i hate to be injured or hurt ive seen to much in the Army so i wish everyone good health but this seems very fishy
At the airport someone will bump into him.
As an outsider looking in - I do find it amazing that Rudy has even got this far without being tripped up.I'm sure he'll have an island in the South Pacific as a back up!!!
Nah. Noone capable would take that risk for Trump, he'd start bragging the second he ended the phonecall.
@@dyent but a KGB person working for Putin would.
@@joanne4758 Rudy will be taken down by New York.. Tgey don't like the fact that someone who use to prosecute mobsters now works for one.
That Ukrainian official looks like he's playing Ron Swanson In the Russia version of Parks and Recreation
If Rudy has the balls to come back, he should be arrested as a foreign agent, the minute he steps off the plane!!
Classic Rudy/Trump: I can't be guilty of this crime, I'm too busy trying to commit the same crime right now.
🤣🤣🤣
Loved the Mike Pence joke.
The Rudy Giuliani jokes just write themselves.
J.Chan crudy
From America's maid to Trump's shitty lawyer. What a fall.
I feel badly for comedian writers, their jobs will be so much harder when Bernie wins.
Trump is literally impeaching himself.
No, Rudy writes them.
"...down to your co-rotch!" I'm dying here.
Giuliani: “ am not here” 😂
"Like, gardener or First Lady"
savage
His, "Tic-Tacs" were Sudapphed. From the U. K. He eats them like candy.
Ahhh... His sniffy nose!
Well, that explains a lot.
"Sue the Fed? I just want a Toc. No, a Tic!"
He doesnt eat them, snorts them with his adderall.
"cut the tacs" is honestly one of the most underrated jokes I have ever heard (a pity it has zero delivery here); oh, boy, the wasted potential
No, this joke got a lot of action here. I think it was greatly appreciated.
Matúš Mikšík, That joke was meant to be a “sleeper”. Only those ppl really listening to Stephen, were supposed to hear it. That’s why, I think, his voice got so quiet during that one. Did you notice his voice getting so quiet, at all?
"I am not here" - Republicans summed up in one sentence.
@Jonny Sandtrap You are right, the brainwashed are clueless of their condition. 'Cucks' huh? Sure bud.
You aren't here either, are you?
Jonny Sandtrap: please enlighten us, since you seem to have "the" answer. For whom shall we vote? Or what shall we do?
"Don't believe what you're reading or seeing."
@@rich1051414 .......
@@jilliansmith7123 ....... pretty pathetic if someone has to tell you how to vote.......
So, putting lipstick on a pig has progressed beyond being a euphemism.
I am accruing a list of presidential candidates from the extremely apt responses. you are one.
We can't even call him a pig because that's too polite for the way trump looks
Very witty!♥️
@@Sanya6496 how dare you insult pigs
@@TheBarber5550 lol
1:03 Musical joke: "Mack the Knife" for the world's happiest stabber. Seems to have caught Stephen off guard!
I see very few people got the Tic-Tac joke. Tick-Tax. Think about it.
⏱⏱⏱⏱ tick, tick, tick, TICK........
"I am not here" -The President's Lawyer
Rudi Feb2019 "I only have one client the president."
Trump nov2019 "I don't know ask Rudy he has many clients."
Well, considering his lawyer is a guy who married and had children with his cousin...
@@rascallyrabbit717 I don't know the guy, I've never met him. I heard he's a great guy though.
Truly a ninja.
@S A thoughts Senior mutant ninja... what animal does he look like?
One can only dream that Rudy will take a one-way flight to a Turkish prison on the "Midnight Express."
"Shirley."
Gary Anderton In Turkey the joke would be, “It’s cold in Tekirdağ this time of year...”
This sounds like one hell of a movie!
NO NEED TO GO TO TURKEY FOR THAT ,THEY ARE ALL OVER AMERICA AS WELL,THEY EVEN MAKE TV SHOWS ABOUT IT😂😂😂😂
@@elifayden7326 Americans don't want Rudy in the USA anymore. Besides Ukraine is closer to Turkey, as you no doubt know.
I absolutely love Jon Batiste. He always has bits of songs that fit the different punchlines. That "Mack the Knife" bit was subtle gold.
The "Mackie Messer" theme moment on the piano was brilliant.
1:02 lol!
"Like gardener or first lady " 😂😂😂
“Stop biting my style” must go viral #StopBitingMyStyle
A quick PSA:
Friends don't let friends support Trump!👍
Were not friends, Trump 2020 woo hoo
I have no friends who support an unregistered sex offender with a porn star wife. My friends have taste...
i tried but those morons are lost causes... yet they still believe that with their barely Obtained GEDs they cab blame all the immigrants... i mean for F!ck sakes they can't even take my order right without F!cking it up... and that's on top of them being born here and "being fluent English speakers born & raised in the good o us of a"
@@briancarrillo2110 dont hand them a 2 dollar bill. they'll think its fake
cmdraftbrn try and get them to break a 3 dollar bill. Yes, it’s a blatant fake, but if you put Trump’s face on it, they’ll fall for it.
Don’t worry about getting busted for counterfeiting. Just turn over a copy of the photoshop file and tell the secret service “this is how you recover your budget from all the golfing your principal does...”
“Every time Rudy gets involved he goes and fucks everything up.” - Gordon Sondland.
Rudy is no Perry Mason.
Kudos to Jon for playing a few notes of “Mack the Knife” when Stephen started talking about Rudy the stabber dancing around a chalk outline of his victim.
Are you in Ukraine? - No I am not here.
Ukraine. I Rudy.
Giuliani is in Ukraine to avoid being arrested.
Extradition!
He'd best be careful, or he might get himself Epsteined.
@@jasonross6727 Apparently Ukraine doesn't have extradition agreements with the US ... convenient ... and there is the missing 35 million
Maybe he will bunk with Snowden
@@weehudyy Maybe we can make a deal with Ukraine... nvm
And they also have to prepare the big mound of covfefe for him to snort every morning.
He always sounds like he just did a line in someone's bathroom.
😁 Good one
camelshit -Is "covfefe", he's French whore dressed in a waitress costume (they prepare that mound early in the morning for him?)?😂
Oh THAT'S what covfefe is!
"I'm not here....." Is this 1984? Because Orwell could not make this up.
A year later, in a pandemic, who knew. Anyhow in 2016, 1984 was one of the highest selling book on Amazon!
How does trump feel about those walls, now that they're closing in on him?
Well, considering the liberal media has been making that very claim, for the last 3 years. Not to mention other ignorant statements, such as "it's the beginning of the end"
"This is a tipping point"
"Breaking news bombshell"
"This is a turning point"
And..of course,
"Damning new evidence"
And yet nothing has changed.
I would say Trump isn't the least bit concerned.
Sharon ! No justice is going to get him. He’s not going to jail or even going on probation.
He will not face any legal consequences for his law breaking ever, get real.
When he’s finished being president he will probably only have a few years of life left anyway.
If you want to feel good about something, consider that trump hates himself. He is deeply unhappy and insecure.
He knows he’s horrible.
keith hakanson he is concerned because he doesn’t want to be impeached. And he probably worries a little bit about legal trouble, but you’re right he knows that he’s never going to face any serious consequences for breaking the law his entire life.
HAHAHA never heard that one before, where did you come up with that one??
“Trump blew up on a golf course”
Trump blows.
Yes he does. Just ask Putin.
If only he could *litteraly* blow up and leave a crater on his golf course...
A bronze-sand trap....
And so is Kim Jeong Hoon in North Korea, he's making some 'Christmas gifts' for everyone in July along with Trump. Trump and Kim Jeong Hoon are both Darth Vader's that we need to get rid of.
10 points! 4 stars. WOULD reccomend.
When is this nightmare is going to end!
hopefully november next year
@Paul Nolan Because the last thing we need is to turn Trump into MAGA Martyr
Vote Blue no matter who.
Kifaya Yusuf feels like never
His phone is in his shirt pocket cause he's recording everything. Makes sense to me. Lol
sdv73168 aka Jigabyte that’s what I was thinking.
100%
These guys are just so blatant. All those nasty little illegal things they're doing in plain sight. Really incredible.
This was one of the best point by point videos from Colbert in a while.
Undocumented immigrants running his golf club? Irony at it's finest hour.
It's already known for years Trump employed immigrants at his properties. The people who Trump and his cult hates are the same people who take on the jobs they themselves don't want.
Trump has been hiring illegal immigrants for years. This came out ages ago. For everything Trump says, there's evidence of him having done or said the opposite.
Maybe not so ironic if he houses them in a private compound with a wall around it
what a racist, right?
Well his illigal migrant great grandfather was from Europe his illigal mother was from Europe his migrant wifes,,, all from Europe
I'm totally shocked! LOL.
I don't know what is worse. That he got angry at his father-in-law for wearing his hat, or that such information does not surprise me in the slightest.
@Mero Mero Nothing he does surprises me anymore. I just keep bracing for the next wave of awfulness.
I was genuinely unprepared for Stephen to talk like a Valley Girl
It was hilarious AF and the way he said :: KA-RAH-TCH ... LOL #Priceless
what's karatch? :$
Omigod, and you have such a Valley Girl name! Yeah, I spat milk out my nose, and I wasn't drinking milk!
@@paddor You obvi didn't watch the vid or pay attention LOL #TRaGiC
And so well. He'd nail the Australian version of Valley femaledom I am sure.
Everyone, everywhere, should take a moment at the same time on the same day and tweet a big "LMAO" to trump! Maybe we can get him to leave too.
Tell him he is not man enough to face the impeachment. Tell him he's too dumb, then he will for sure.
I think if everyone in the U.S.A. blows our car horns at 12:01 Jan. 20th simultaneously while he is being removed from white house would be a great send off.
Who thumbs this down?! Trump lovers!!!!
I love STEPHEN COLBERT!!!! 😘😘😘😘
The band keeps playing as the ship goes down.
Mrs. Kevin Pharaoh trumptanic
This makes me feel like the peasants watching the ancient roman republic fall apart.
It makes me feel like Winston in 1984 a very stupid version of 1984.
@@elizabethsmith7224 My mother made me read it in high school, and even back then she was conservative and a fan of Rush Limbaugh. I remember thinking,
"I don't think this means what you think it means..."
The Republic turned into the Empire.
Rudy's European Tour sounds like the best sitcom never made.
That was so funny almost ready to fall off the chair!!!
"Omg Megan"
"Down to your cr-otch" 🤣🤣🤣
He does do that, apparently bc he thinks the crotch length ties make him look less obese. For Trump to believe a cra-otch length tie is slimming I genuinely believe our fake POTUS is smoking angel dust.
does the man have daughters?
Rudi has really lost his mind he has become the criminal he used to go after
Seriously what the hell happened to him?!
@@christinemikhail7088 Trump happened.
& why is Pence suddenly struck dumb...? Republicants are betraying their oath.
That happens when u work with Drumpf. His taint gets allover and infects you.
Gulliani is a fraud and a 9-11 criminal
The "Cut the tacs" bit was too subtle for the audience to get.
He is there getting more dirt on the republicans theyre blackmailing.
@Antionette Wilson absolutely!
Antionette Wilson THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE IT’S EERIE. Wow. I could never get my head around how / why the GOP all seem to be of the same cult since Trump came to power.
@Antionette Wilson you are so right! And that's why they are acting like lunatics in this process and during the Mueller hearings, too. They themselves are scared sh*tless.
Lisa
Biden is next, and then his drug addled son that has been in drug rehab six times
@Antionette Wilson, my apologies for the length but I’ve thought so much about this particular topic. Anyway, I’ve said for some time that Trump/Russia probably has something on many of the Republicans but there is no question in my mind that he has major dirt on Graham.
*puts on tin foil hat*
My theory is that McCain, for all his faults, was a man of honor and never involved himself in anything that could hurt him politically. McCain never seemed to be worried that Trump had any dirt on him and had no qualms publicly stating how much of a dumpster fire the Tangerine Mussolini is. McCain provided Lindsey with a political safe harbor in which he could express his true feelings of disgust and distaste for Trump. It’s almost as if McCain provided protection for Lindsey (maybe he even had some dirt on Trump?) because Lindsey’s attitude toward Trump took an abrupt turn shortly after McCain’s cancer diagnosis and exit from D.C.
I would be willing to bet that Lindsey realized just how screwed he was when Trump let him know what he had on him during the golfing trip they took together. Everything changed after that and I can’t imagine it had anything to do with Lindsey spending an afternoon with Trump and suddenly believing him to be a great and intelligent man.
Of course that’s my personal conspiracy theory but it makes so much sense. You don’t go from utterly despising someone to being one of their biggest champions and defenders almost overnight, especially not for someone as nonsensical and egotistical as Trump. Not to mention that, by all accounts, Graham almost worshipped McCain and considered him one of his closest friends so he knows that McCain is turning somersaults in his grave over his newfound adoration and ass-kissing of Trump. For someone who claims to believe in an afterlife, he has to feel that he has deeply disappointed his personal hero.
I don’t know what Trump is holding over him but it must be truly awful to make him throw away his honor, integrity, self-respect, and the memory of McCain.
OMG! That mean girl voice! It had me ROTFL 😂 you are AWESOME 😎
"It's like the shroud of Turin every morning." BA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Perfect!
Donnie muttering to himself: Have Rudy killed, have Rudy killed, have Rudy killed.
He'd give the memo to Don McGahn, but (a) he resigned and (b) if he hadn't resigned, he'd threaten to quit.
Rudy Epstein. Rudy Epstein.
Really wouldn't be surprised to hear he had the brakes in his car fucked with, mob style.
It really bothers me that he actually thinks he's a king.
Well, he's king of his prison cell.
How can one thing in particular bother you about him? It's like one thing in particular bothering you about cancer, or death, or hell.
@@70wolfnipplechips41 did I say only one thing about him bothers me? You're just trying to pick a fight with someone and it's not gonna be me. 🤷♂️
@@dacksonflux Lol, I wasn't arguing or picking a fight. Have a great day.
Dackson Flux
Trump is a prime example of what happens when someone was born with a silver spoon shoved up their ass, raised in a bubble near-completely disconnected from the real world, given everything they wanted on a whim, and rarely (if ever) being told "no".
I thought kevin spacey and his series the house of cards was entertaining but this cartoon president and his henchmen are completely nuts
I used to think that house of cards was unbelievable. Today it is more believable than what is actually happening. But worse still that it is an actual debate who's the most horrible person the fake president, the guy who played the fake president of the real one is terrifying.
"A high school mean girl." THANK YOU! Somebody finally said it!!
Excellent 'Mackie Messer' piano bit to accompany the 'knife' joke... well played! :-)
Jon playing “Mac the Knife” was perfection
"Nipple Tweets" my new band name🎶🎹🎵
"... singing something about being the world's happiest stabber."
_John starts playing a riff, Stephen cracks up_
Morio Murase - it was “Mack the Knife”, appropriately.
03:52 when he said "build the wall" so the crowd would stop cheering and it worked immediately. Best thing I saw today
Liked when Jon Batiste played a few notes from "Mack the Knife" during the monologue. He's very quick like that.