Xenophage Alien Bloodsport - The Worst Fighting Game
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- Опубліковано 23 чер 2023
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#apogee #fightinggames #mattmcmuscles - Ігри
What if the reason why there's a human man and woman on the roster is because the guys running the show actually believe that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?
okay, gramps. you had your fun, now let's get you to bed because that joke is older than two world wars
That reminds me of an Isaac Asimov short story where aliens kidnap a human man and woman (the boss alien believes they are different species while the smarter subordinate insists they are the same species).
Given Selena’s finishing move involves distends her jaw and eating the opponent’s head, it would have been cool if her ending outright confirmed her to be an alien that LOOKS human
@@MasterCode86 Oh chill out that was actually funny
@@ElVlogdeBob never said it wasnt, halve of you younglings werent even around to remember that joke, but i was and it was hilarious. We both are old as fuck.
I'd hate to be named champion, only for literally the next guy to be named grand champion
Tbf...if you put them side by side, you can tell they're the same guy, just one's seemingly evolved (literally "grand" champion lmao)
By Azura, by Azura, by Azura! IT'S THE GRAAAAAAAAND CHAMPION!
"okay we're gonna name you CHAMPION"
"Yes!! Fck yes! 🎉🎉"
"And this guy will be GRAND CHAMPION!"
"😒"
"Mom, why did you name me 'Silver Medal'?"
You vs. The guy she tells you not to worry about.
When I was a teenager, my best friend and I picked up Catfight, an all-female fighting game for the PC, and when we brought it home, despite having all the requirements met, and finding a patch available for it, we couldn't get it working at all. We eventually took the disc and ran over it with my car's tires multiple times, just to try and get some enjoyment out of it. Years later, I actually did play it thanks to emulation, and it was the absolute WORST fighting game I had ever played.
If Catfight can't take Expect No Mercy's top spot, nothing will.
ive played both because i bought both when they first came out. catfight is still better than Expect no Mercy
I kind of like the alien designs.
Catfight on Emulation with DG Voodoo patch so that it's not shit in the framerate...is somehow better than "Expect No Mercy". I mean Matt McMuscles should still cover it though because I'd love to hear him jokingly lambast it.
@@gouravchakraborty9801 Kinda like Mega Man for DOS.
Yeah that game is dogshit. Even as purely sex appeal it fails miserably.
Love how they chose the name “Mouth” for an alien whose most distinctive feature was its multiple hand-like appendages.
Aspirational naming.
Like Chastity. 😂
Or Tiny from Clay Fighter :D
Come to think of it, worm was literally 5 mouths joined by tubes...
@@FFKonoko That one, I feel, is very in spirit for worms
I like the character designs. Much cooler than "human with slightly different head" that most media uses for "aliens".
Guardians of the galaxy be like
So basically like, 90% of Science fiction then.
@@DirgeTVExactly why it's generally uninteresting.
How do you explain toppo
Agreed. I'd like to see a modern, decent budget game take those designs and remake them.
I remember taking a game design class at a local community college when I was a kid. It was a very intro level course but the professor was a cool old dude who liked to talk about Zen. One day I told him I wanted to make a fighting game, and he just started laughing and said, "Here's a Zen Koan: no man can make a fighting game, until he first fails to make a fighting game."
I think about that quote a lot watching this series.
I thought he was just super into intergalactic ninjas at first.
That quote is especially true with the Street Fighter series, which fell face-first on the floor with its first game before knocking it out of the park with the second one.
Yeah, even a barebones fighting game needs a lot of work. Even the punching sound: It has to be satisfying and varied, because you will be hearing it a _lot_ and if it's not satisfying and doesn't have at least a slight pitch shift, it will be absolutely annoying.
At one point when I was 14 years old, I dreamed of making video games, but even seeing the animated sprites of fighting games made me think: "Maybe not this".
I love how there are all these weird sorta interesting aliens and also a lumberjack and office worker woman.
And what's the secret unlockable character to complete the roster? Barney.
She’s literally wearing a silk cotton chemise button down and an A-line pencil skirt to do battle and save humanity
I feel like, in a different timeline, we should have a very bad Cannon pictures movie adaptation of this game, starring Michael Dudikoff and Cynthia Rothrock.
I'd pay to watch that!
And it gets a regular rerun years down the line after on the Syfy Channel.
God, I’d watch that movie.
Oh what a rabbit hole this comment is
Matt should try out "Battling Butlers" for DOS. It is a fighting game where you can play a telephone, a door, a card, and other objects.
It is truly horrible. Especially the hit detection.
I had to look up footage of that and... wow. That might be the floatiest combat I've ever seen. They look like they're slap-fighting.
Along the same lines, I'd like to see him do "Metal & Lace: Battle Of The Robo Babes," a truly awful anime fighter ported from the PC-88. It's done in that wonky high-res VGA mode that PC-88 games use, so the scrolling and animation are horrifically choppy.
(And I played all the way through that stinker, because it was so hard to get imported Japanese PC games in the mid-90s.)
@@jasonblalock4429 I know about that game but never played it. Also, I think you meant PC-98? The PC-88 didn't have 1on1 fighting games à la Street Fighter II. (Ironically it had an 18+ parody of that game though, but it is rock-paper-scissors and not an actual fighting game)
Where's the Butlers??
I've seen some gameplay of it, and it looks okay. I'd put it in the "Fairly Stinky" category along the game above and the others like Dual Heroes because at least they've put some effort on that game, where the cutscenes and ending change depending of the character you've chosen, and it's obvious that the game was mostly aimed to children.
If I had to say a really bad fighting game for PC I'd say Battle of The Eras. Now this one is a strong contestant to dethrone Expect No Mercy.
More like butt-lers am I right
I randomly yell out "i have seen the amateur and it is you" thanks to these vids
Matt, you just solved a years-old quest for me: when I was a youngster, I remember visiting a friend of my brother's and he showed us a fighting game which had an inflatable dummy in it.
I took it for a boss, and have searched countless times for it in lists of weird PC button-mashers! I guess you just solved it for me, my friend!
Stay amazing!
i actually quite like the visual style and the non-human character designs tbh. the aliens have creative designs and there's a nice artstyle, almost clay-like.
Worm and Spike are honestly top tier designs for me
@@theliveliestcorpse2997 true i like worm a lot probably gonna steal that design for an alien novel down the line
@@fernadogonzalez2940worm is just a ripoff of the eyeball thing in marvel gs capcom
Obviously there a lot wrong with this game, but I actually think the alien design is pretty cool, especially in that it branches out beyond basic humanoids.
It will be a somewhat sad day when/if Expect No Mercy gets dethroned as the Worst Fighting Game...
...because then we may no longer hear the glorious declaration that is "I have seen the amateur, and it is YOU!"
I honestly don't know if its possible for their to be a better line to top it. Just captures the spirit (Or lackof) that the game has.
Iron & Blood dethroned it
@@arandomuser1723who was then taken down by Pit Fighter SNeS
@@larrymantic2635 yeah. Highly doubt that Pit Fighter is getting dethroned any time soon
A Barney parody is such a deeply Web 1.0 thing to have in a video game.
For me it's so specifically rooted in 1994 that it brings back so many memories... like the time I wrote "Barney vs. Jurassic Park" in 7th grade. Good times...
Really enjoy the monster design in this one... even squid. It looks like someone wanted to do suitmation but could only afford handpuppets.
Also always asking for Heavy Nova, Black Hole Assault, and Battle Fantasy!
Right? It's a shame that the fighting game made up of weird alien monsters was... this.
I will never get tired of hearing I HAVE SEEN THE AMATEUR AND IT IS YOU, if I'm completely honest. That line is so tremendously cheesy that it's somehow perfect in every way.
It wouldn't dethrone Expect No Mercy, but have you seen Iron and Blood: Warriors of Ravenloft?
It was given a D&D theme at the last minute, and the multiplayer controls rely on using the keyboard, and if both players try to use a special move at the same time, it toggles full screen mode.
I've been waiting for this one since the first episode of this series. I played the demo countless times but when I got the full version it didn't even boot up no matter how many different computers I tried it on.
It seems your copy was so ashamed of itself, it avoided being seen.
That was its way of warning you.
It's a bit hard to be mad at the training mode when just hearing you talk about made me burst into laughter lol. Feels more at home in a troll game that has a training mode for some reason, but it's still hilarious
Okay, but this definitely has the BEST fighting game name, right?
Best video game name regardless of genre, honestly
I want to know where it fits into the xeno series timeline.
Between Xenophobe and Xenocider, I believe.
@@ahok1937 but also occuring at the exact same time as Xenocard Chain of Memories.
Dear god... I had this game on the family PC. My dad loved to pick up PC games on clearance racks all the time, and this was one of those... Gems.
hot take: i actually like the majority of the alien designs, even the weird fleshlight leg thing
i just love when aliens actually feel....well, alien
Which is valid, but I don't think there's much variation in the roster. Way too many weird things, and not enough humanoid style aliens.
@@MattMcMuscles: Most any other game has humanoids a plenty. The freakiness of the alien designs is the one thing this game should be commended for.
@@MattMcMuscles i think lack of humanoids in a game about aliens is a plus tbh. when they get humanoid they're still not quite humanoid, like bat and squid. worm might be my favorite one here, actually.
@@MattMcMuscles Shadow War of Secession is the worst
@@MattMcMuscles Hey Matt, please review Best of Best on arcade, I believe it could actually dethrone Expect no Mercy
Finally, competitive xenophobia.
...feel free to take that out of context!
So…Warhammer 40K?
@@youthoughtaboutit6946 I barely know W40K but I can tell you're not wrong.
So... Call of Duty then?
Not gonna lie, I actually love how most of the cast are non-humanoid monsters. If we ever do discover aliens, realistically they're probably going to look something like Worm - and that thing is in a fighting game. Just seems crazy when a character like Motaro just doesn't seem feasible in modern MK.
Oh those graphics take me back to a beautiful era of DOSjank. I remember playing whatever stuff my dad took home from the bargain bin. Apogee really should have stuck to publishing boomer shooters and platformers, though.
I've learned one thing and one thing only from Worst Fighting Game. And that being who the amateur is.
But have you seen them though?
I H A V E S E E N T H E A M A T E U R A N D I T I S Y O U
the fact there's graphics scaling inherently puts this 3 trillion leagues ahead of Expect No Mercy lmao
I see that you put some Cosmic Carnage music in this video. That game is prime material for this series. Hope to see it in here eventually.
the game's pretty cool tho
I actually kind of like some of the alien designs.
The human/humanoid characters look so terrible. At least the alien creatures and monsters look interesting even if they’re terrible compared to other fighting games
Matt, I always appreciate how much work you put into these (and your editors and artists!) The deep cuts and dives and attempts to contact people directly make your stuff stand out. Also you know that Wikipedia is not a valid source. Some folks haven't figured that out, yet.
Yeah, wikis in general aren't an actual source of info *by themselves*; they're more like a gateway to various actual sources that are cited at the end of the articles.
It's probably just me but I feel like Matt really loves fighting games.
What tipped you off?
@@LanceOmikronIdk, a hunch perhaps
The universe at work. This morning I woke up and in my head had "I have seen the amateur and it is YOU!" Rolling around my head. Next thing you know...
Man, it makes me happy but also sad to see Xenophage here. I remember playing it a lot when I was a kid. I honestly didn't expect Xenophage to enter the competition for worst fighting game... It easn't really the best game, but I think also far from the worst. Argo's lack of experience with making fighting games shows but they still did somewhat well with what they had (which Matt also addresses in the video), I think it just kinda sucks that every fatality (or, well, "Meat") move is a decapitation with no other variety to it. I remember having fun with this game, it has its flaws but it's at least serviceable as a fighting game.
Oh and also, just a random piece of information... Blarney is actually the best character in the game. While he has the thing where he falls down and never gets back up again so he turns into a punching bag if that happens, he's also able to completely fill the screen with projectiles. He only has one attack, which is releasing that heart, but he can spam it nonstop to the point that the opponent is completely unable to do anything else.
I have to have seen that "oh no" clip posted in so many places, yet I never knew it was from this game
this says a lot about the game before even getting that far in, I think
Still can't wait for the day Matt decides to get to Heavy Nova. Sure, the music was servicable, but I feel like that's not enough of a saving grace as everything else probably matches, if not surpasses, Expect No Mercy in terms of being garbage. Like, it has a stamina gauge like in that other fighting game you covered that I'm blanking the name on right now, except it takes forever to recharge and once it runs out you're basically a sitting duck. Not to mention the AI makes most SNK bosses seem fair in comparison because it just spams the cheapest tactics ever.
It's more of a platformer than a fighter
Say what you want, but the finishers were kinda -neat- meat
Straight :fire: too
It could be better if was not for those big meaty claws
As another potential candidate, I remember I always wanted to give Battle Beast a try, but just couldn't find it anywhere. Apparently I dodged a real bullet there, so maybe give that one a shot?
As someone who still owns it and the physical mousepad it came with, I love/hate it. It’s a poor fighter but it was my first fighter.
I considered that one too. I've replayed it kinda recently, but I can't tell if the game was always laggy beyond playability or if it's imperfect emulation.
genuinely think we're running out of stinkers that could genuinely be worse than expect no mercy
...still. Pray for Death, Catfight, and Capital Punishment are titles i'm expecting to see someday.
I think Catfight might dethrone ENM
Shadow War of Succession might handily beat it. Tattoo Assassins could as well.
I'm still hoping for Dangerous Streets and (maybe) Battle of the Eras.
Alien Challenge. Theatre of Pain. never underestimate the depths of horrors yet unseen
@@TVindustries5000 can't believe i forgot about theatre of pain... well, i actually can. but y'know.
so... judging by the music you used... are we getting a Cosmic Carnage/cyber brawl review? That's a game that had some cool ideas with okay-ish application. Like how you had 8 dudes, but with customizable move sets really helped out the cast.
That moment when you realize that we aren't zoomed in on the screen for the purposes of the video, the characters are just that big 😨
I would be curious how a reboot would redesign each alien into a more appealing and unique way
I find some of the options here to be pretty novel, especially codes for unlocking the bosses for free play. If you consider games like Smash Melee, you have to go through a decent bit of effort to unlock every character, technically remedied in Brawl by having every character fight appearing after a set number of Smash games played. Having a simple code would be pretty handy for tournaments.
The way the camera zooms so close reminds me of how people do camera work on TikTok with the headtracking
Perhaps FX Fighter is coming soon to this show? I have deep, buried memories of that game. Imagine Virtua Fighter, but without the charm.
If you need another tag team to challenge Expect No Mercy, I nominate Celebrity Deathmatch. I just learned recently the PSX version was different from the PS2/Xbox versions.
This is slowly becoming my fav series of yours! I love learning about these obscure ass fighters.
Could you perhaps take a look at VR Troopers for the sega genesis/game gear? I played it like once. I remember the controls changed with the difficulty on the genesis, and that you were restricted to 3 buttons on normal and above. And had to use actual button combinations to do specials where on lower difficulties they were each mapped to one of the 3 other buttons on the 6 button controller.
I hope Matt covers Tattoo Assassins soon! It's in the intro to the series!
I started playing Crystal Caves last summer/fall and it was one of those games that, much later, becomes your defining game memory of that season. It was starting to get frosty at night and the leaves were turning and falling. And most nights i found myself trying to puzzle out the solution to a Crystal Caves level.
I love how it had a toon vibe and brite colours but was fairly hardcore. Several times I had to restart a level because i accidentally blasted ONE brick which formed part of a one way staircase at the end of the level. That or knocking out a poison snake in a narrow hallway that forced me to take poison damage later. It had some pretty deep strategy for being such an early game
I was waiting for a looooong tie until you cover this up man!
Squid guy looks like a cross between Patrick Star & Zoidberg...
5:43 Whenever I see this title this instantly pops into my head. The fate of the world is on his shoulders and his reaction is that of having just run onto light traffic on the ride home.
I remember seeing a screenshot of the Barney character a long time ago, but I had no idea what the game was, or if it was even a real game.
I thought I had imagined the Barney thing until this video, then I was like, "Wait, that was real??"
You gotta do Doomsday Warrior. That game made Shaq Fu feel like Street Fighter 2 Turbo.
Please, I need to know what the XACMAN minigame is listed in the cheats.
Hey Matt, think you'll ever tackle the Virtual Fighter on Game Gear with it's story mode based on the 90s Virtual Fighter anime?
It's a fine game
I went on a take-your-kid-to-work-day with my dad and someone had this game installed on their computer, so I just played it all day.
Does anyone know where 4:17 sound track is from? Sound so familiar.
What's the name of the song that plays over the end credits?
It's particularly unfortunate that this came out *after* OMF2097, which is still one of the best PC fighters ever made.
And speaking of awful old sci-fi fighters, I'm surprised you haven't done Tongue Of The Fatman yet.
Oh my God you mentioned Night Raid! I played the shareware version of that game almost 30 years ago and couldn't remember the name of it.
It was cool because after every level the guy in the bunker has a pizza delivered to him.
maybe "Shadow: War of Succession" will be the one to defeat Expect No Mercy
Wow, that's uh...very interesting of a gameplay and look.
Well, there's always Vagrant Fighter FX if you'll check it out in the future.
I've been waiting for this gem. I wanted to like it whilst playing the demo over and over back in '97.
You know, I realized he hasn’t discussed Revengers of Vengeance yet for this series. Granted it is really obscure due to only being available on Sega CD and pretty rare find.
oh, i used to have an Apple 2 version of Night Raid!
one of the BEST tricks was hitting a paratrooper's CHUTE, making him FALL and CRUSH OTHERS UNDERNEATH!
pretty fun, IF you had the option turned on that let you STEER your bullets AFTER firing.
it was nearly unplayable without THAT.
9:08 This deserve an honorable mention only for the kick-ass music!
Not gonna lie, I'm digging Spike's design! What can I say, I'm partial to all those long, spindly, spiky limbs.
EDIT: Mouth too; dude(ette?) looks properly alien.
I admit, when I first saw the title on the thumbnail. I thought that this was fighting
game that held the Alien franchise licence. Until I found out it had nothing to
do with the Alien franchise.
I thought this had something to do with that arcade game where you had to blast aliens that had invaded starship and star bases. Then I remembered: that was Xenophobe.
After this comment, all I can imagine is this game as the "Alien at home".
Have you covered "hey punk are you tuff e nuff" for the snes?
Another entertaining and illuminating vision of mediocre one on one action. Well done.
You're looking for suggestions? What about Street Fighter 2? On the Commodre 64?
which song did matt use for the outro?
Worm kind of reminds me of Allen Wrench. "I need tungsten to live! Tuuungsteeen!"
3:08 lmao that man is NOT happy.
SNES Pit fighter is just sitting in the audience with the money in the bank case waiting to cash in and take down show no mercy...
Another Wayne Barlowe Guide fan, I see. Patrician tastes as always, Mr. McMuscles. 👍
Good to finally see this one. It's one I've been waiting for. I played the shareware of this back in the day, and have tried playing the full version a few times. What strikes me most about it is how absolutely unstable the game is to try to play. So. Many. Crashes. Though that may be more DOSBox than the game. But I remember even back when this game was new hating how it played. There's almost nothing good there. I didn't realize just how deep those menu options were, so clearly the developers did try. But the execution was massively flawed. I will admit, it is not "Expect No Mercy" levels though. Yee gods.
"worm, who, well I'm thinking the same thing you are"
me: "weird looking baleful gigginox"
"4 blue fleshlights duct taped together"
me: "darn, I wasn't thinking the same thing at all"
I know Jack all about fighting games. But I love this series so much. It’s like a more “specific” version of Wha Happun? and has such cool insight into fighting games in general.
Gotta love that Galaxy Fight and Cosmic Carnage soundtrack
Reminds me of "Tripping the Rift".
"The following fight is brought to u by Cosmico. We put quality in. Where it goes from there is anybody's guess."
AHA! THIS is where that "Oh no..." meme I've been seeing around came from!
Real talk, that title is amazing though!
Still requesting Catfight! On PC on this show though.
Hey dude! I know you reviewed MK for GBA, but what about the Mortal Kombat games for the original GameBoy?? Those were ATTROCIOUS
Just wondering if anyone recognizes the live action martial arts clips from 16:21 - 16:25? I love martial arts movies and shows; but I'm unfamiliar with what those clips are from. Thanks in advance for any assistance.
Expect No Mercy
@@MattMcMuscles Holy shit! I actually do know that one. I own most of Billy Blanks' films. It's been a minute since I watched that one. I'll have to remedy that ASAP. Thanks for the info!
I don’t have any ideas for salarywoman but is lumberjack supposed to be a Great Value (and non-copyright infringing…) version of Dutch from Predator…?
I hate to imagine how broken the clown balloon might be in Saltybet
Maybe down the road you could do a review on either “Mace The Dark Age”, “Biofreaks” or “Xena Warrior Princess”. All of those were on the n64 and either people like them or really hate them
OH MAN IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO DO THIS ONE
I actually really like some of the character designs in this and the idea is a pretty good one as far as reasons for fighting games to happen which are usually pretty weak.
EDIT: I LOVE SQUID STOP IT
Bobby Prince did a special song with lyrics that plays if you complete a particular character's finisher: "You beat me, I beat you, we are one unruly rogue's gallery...with a great big chew I bite into you, and so are you are mortally wounded..." Sadly, this was left on the cutting room floor.
/false lore.
I would love to see Matt tackle Battle of the Eras, which is another one of these DOS catastrophes, just....on a whole other level.
Finally! Now I don't need to pester you about making a video about this game. Will instead do it for Shadow: War of Succession and Tongue of the Fatman.
There’s a code that makes Salary Selena grow when on screen? Uh… going to investigate this for science
oh, that part about "resurrections" reminds me of a weird old arcade game, i forget the name...
the playable characters were all giant monsters, "kaiju" sized.
to finish off your opponent, you had to PIN him down...and KEEP him down.
this seemed IMPOSSIBLE to do against ANY AI opponent!
seriously, i knocked the enemy's health down to zero, then pinned him down, and he threw me off at least FIVE TIMES!
THEN he pinned me down ONCE, and that was game over!
that was SO unfair, i never played it again.
I'd love to see you tackle Thea Realm Fighters
ok ua-cam.com/video/qEeV0DOyXPY/v-deo.html
A fighting game with a Wayne Barlowe creature design? That would be cool. I have been actually fantasizing about an idea for a game for sometime now that can be described as doom with Wayne Barlowe alien/demon creature design.
Always happy to see a new episode of Worst Fighting Games
I prefer weeks with a Wha Happun, but SF2 and MK came out solidly when my teen years were beginning so I have a deep and abiding love of fighting games. I’d love for some obviously NOT bad fighters to get reviewed, just so they get reviewed. Or he does a sister series where good fighters are reviewed.
2:10 Unmemorable? My childhood PC DOS gaming right there. It's simple at first but it gets way better further in with a bit of humor.
Definitely a classic in my book and I keep a copy with every DOSbox installation I setup.
Xenophage, you're review is spot on, it's got the heart and they did try.
I kinda wish it had a revised version, "Hyper Xenophage" with all the fixes it needed though yeah characters aren't too appealing.