38 Tips To Get Your Ex Back (On My 38th Birthday)
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- Опубліковано 6 жов 2024
- Let's talk about 38 tips to get your ex back because today is my 38th birthday.
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**** IMPORTANT ****
This is an internet video, and it should be obvious, but this video and other videos on this channel should not be taken as a substitute for the evaluation of a psychologist, therapist, counselor, etc. This video and other videos on this channel are intended for informational uses only, and only reflect the personal opinions of the creator. The creator of this video is not responsible for your actions or choices or the consequences of your actions or choices.
1) Rebuild an emotional connection
2) Be ok being friends in the beginning
3) Bet on yourself! Be confident!
4) You want to share your feelings
5) Be emotionally ok with your current situation (accept being broken up)
6) Turn off your bs machine in your head (turn off your negative thoughts thru this process)
7) Decrease your exes reactants - defensiveness (your ex feels like you have alterior motives)
8) Focus on the process and not the outcome.
9) Understand the 5 stages on getting back together (walled off, test drive stage, riding the dragon, crisis point, new beginnings)
10) Demonstrate that the relationship will be “new” and “different” from the past.
11) Be willing to initiate and do more than 50% of the work yourself.
12) Focus on the connection not the relationship
13) Make the conversations meaningful
14)
15)
16)
17) The key to get back together is NOT by bashing the rebound
18) The stronger than you can emotionally connect with your ex the quicker you will get back together
19) Learn how to enjoy the present moment (meditation, affirmations, etc)
20) Don’t pretend someone that you’re not (don’t be a push over or a total jerk)
21) Good vulnerabilty (I feel) vs bad vulnerability (make them feel guilty)
22) Keep in mind that we are all human beings so that you can connect better at an emotional level
23) First contact you have with your ex is just the beginning (keep cool and relax)
24) Take time to practice the skills that you’re learning so that you’re ready when you talk to your ex
25) Playing hard to get will ruin your chances of getting back together
26) Don’t over think what the next steps will be STAY in the present moment
27) Don’t try to make your ex jealous!
28) Meet your ex at the same emotional level where they’re at at the moment.
29) The only thing keeping you apart from your ex is for both to make a decision
30) When your ex pulls away is not a bad thing (Keep being consistent about the new you)
31) Remember the majority of what they tell you is mostly emotional (context) vs not rational (content). Therefore you can focus on the emotional connection to change things around.
32) Not use hope as a crutch but actually go thru the ENTIRE process and bet on yourself!
33) Getting back together is NOT about doing the right things but actually being able to connect emotionally with your ex.
34) Right now you are writing the next chapter of your love story what is the end destination?
35) Who must you become to get your ex back and have a great relationship
36) What matters the most are the small things that you are doing with your ex (Stay mentally and emotionally connected)
37) It’s ok to step out of your comfort zone (by taking small steps)
38) No matter what remember that there’s nothing wrong with you and you deserve to be loved!
Thankyou!!
In other words, do ALL the work after I already did all the work IN the relationship only to be discarded, suppress my needs, wants and feelings to cater to those of my ex, and demonstrate that from now on it will be all about him. NOPE. I'm done.
@@Revolution-tl5wo This option isn't for everyone . I've already experienced putting in the work and after almost a whole year it still ended up failing . Although I do feel good knowing I tried . However when things end and it's too far gone to fix . It's best to just work on yourself .
It's so true.. accept the Friends label TRUST ME!!! I refused being friends with her and took her excuse away to spend time with me. End result? She turned colder and colder day by day, contact broke off and when i reach Out to her from time to time and Bring Up the idea to meet Up she declines because she has no valid reasoning to meet me.. she doesn't even want friendship anymore... What should I do?
You isn’t that clear you should except the friend label? Not get friend zoned but be friends? You can’t have a healthy stable relationship without being friends and building that connection for at-least a month.
Yeah but I don't want to be friends with him while he is in a relationship with someone else. It's torment.
Hi Clay ,thanks so much for this vital video ,you have given me so much hope that I never thought I'd have , I have prob 98% odds against me ,but I know the 2% has been a very strong emotional connection that we,ve truly had ..I feel it ,I know it..thank you for teaching us to be our selves and to not give up hope , your work is amazing ,I put my trust in you ,oh happy birthday for two months ago stay safe :)
Happy Birthday to you, Clay!!! Thanks for being such an amazing gift to us. Have fun!
🎂 🎁🎈🎊🎉
You're welcome, Amanda. We really appreciate the warm greetings. :-)
Enjoyed the video. Happy birthday! It is your birthday but you gave us the gift.
I love it when you tell Stevens story. It always inspires me.
This was amazing Clay!! Thank you so much for this! And have an amazing Birthday! 🎂
Thank you so much, Fee. Hope you'll continue watching our videos. :-)
My ex insists he just want to be friends and has told me not to build my hopes up
Happy Birthday. Ty for all the content you provide. I watch it every chance I can get..the last 16 months. It has helped me to understand so much.
You're welcome, @Iron Addictions , Happy to hear that our videos resonate with you. :-)
Happy birthday coach I really appreciate you for everything you have done.
I appreciate that!
Happy birthday Clay. You’re an amazing coach. Have an awesome B day!! 🎂🎉
Thank you, Ida. :-)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🎂
Thank you, Kiana. :-)
Its been 2 and a half years. Neither if us has engaged in any serious relationship with anyone else. Minimal contact, on his behalf.
Reach out to him.
HAPPY BURTHDAY
Happy Birthday, you look good for your age could still pass as 25 and nice hair. I actually do like it looks good.
Oh thank you! :-)
Blessday happy b day im one of your followers you tube i appreciate it advice im broken hearted of black men but got mistakes catch him use another account he is engaged to another woman .
…"when I was YOUR AGE" lol...seriously...Happy Birthday !!
Thanks for the greetings, Dave.. :-)
I love this one!
Thank you. :-)
Can I get in touch with you in any way? I would really like your help
If she's communicating with you in it in a meaningful way her rebound relationship can't be that great
Happy Birthday for yesterday! :D Really kind of you do this long video haha! What might an ex mean when they say they don't wanna give false hope? My ex has agreed to catch up over coffee once this situation is over - is this comment a way of him saying he doesn't want to rush into anything too fast? I think he was initially concerned I was too relationship focussed when I reached out - so by him saying this could be him trying to lower expectations? Or can this comment mean they have moved on?
After some reassurance from me - he agreed to meet up instantly and said it sounds good which I took as a positive sign?
You are amazing
Thank you. :-)
Could you please help me to back my ex?
Get
Thanks happy birthday
Am I too late to comment? My ex broke up with me in April and I've been trying to reconnect with him. We are now enjoying our time together the here and now and I believe I'm at the 3rd stage hot and cold very confused. What can I do to move to next stage? We're going on holiday together back to his home country but I'm getting very confused. Thxs
Just continuously focus on building positive connection. Be sure that you also detach yourself from any form of outcome and be in the present moment.
Happy 38th birthday, Clay! Thanks for this informative video! Are you considering doing a video or two dealing with breaking up with somebody who was married and how many of these dynamics you have previously discussed would apply to that sort of situation? Maybe some of the obstacles, besides the obvious ones? I had asked about this before, but never got an answer from you if it's something you would do. Would be very helpful for my situation. Was in no contact with her for 3 months and then decided to reach out to her and see how she was doing during this whole quarantine situation. I also used it as sort of a clean slate type text, saying the I am sorry for the part I played in our break up, and that I never meant to hurt her. She did thank me for checking up on her, but she never even bothered to ask me how my health was, if I was still working, or apologize for any part that she may have played in the break up. I figured maybe she would return the favor in the days or weeks after, but it's been over a month since I sent that last text and nothing from her. It kinda hurts that it seems like she couldn't care less if I was dead or alive. And so, it was back to no contact again for me, and as I mentioned, it's been over a month since that last text, but as I had also mentioned, that followed 3 months of no contact. We were actually broken up a couple months prior to that initial 3 month period period of no contact. Anyway, I would appreciate you getting back to me. Thanks!
Hi Rob, I think I was able to address a question days ago regarding breaking up someone who is married. I am not sure if it was you. :-)
@@ClayAndrews Yeah, it was me. You did briefly touch upon a question, yes, but just wondering if you could do a video, where more aspects of that type of situation could be addressed.
Thank you clay your tips really help, my ex contacted me day 18 of no contact saying he misses me and loves me but hes skeptical so we agreed to rekindle things and see how it turns out in a couple of months and I was losing hope today because I'm stuck in the one word reply zone and it's really hard but your tips gave me positivity thank you so much and happy birthday 🙏
Hi Katherine, You're welcome and we truly appreciate your greetings. When it comes to your ex, this is the best time to apply the Advanced Relational Skills if you have worked on it. Remember the 5 stages of getting back together? He may still be at the test drive phase.
Yes feeing In the blanks but when she says she's moved on sent me pictures with guys in there arms
I can't guarantee I'm right, but for me it seems like she hasn't moved on when she sends pictures like that. It clearly has the intent to trigger some emotions inside you. She wouldn't do that if she was really over you. Don't give her a reaction. You're apart. If she wants to be with other guys that is ok. Even if it hurts. Just focus on yourself and getting better. She'll come back if she can sense the change and when you deepen the connection again. Try to get where she is at.
Hope everything is well by now, though
You always mention rebound relationships but my ex hasn’t gotten into one
Happy 38th!
My ex texted me. There were missed calls. I didn’t text her back. Now, I miss her. Five days, I did a no contact. Now, what will I do? I do miss her . Thank you
SOUTHERN UTAH ARM WRESTLING i did txt her. But she never responded. Seen zone. I guess she texted me that time because her relationship with her new one was not ok. I mean , there’s a problem going on. Now, she is nit texting me.What will i do ?
Hi Jo, thank you so much. Is the text of your ex requires for you to respond? Try to discern whether her message requires urgent attention or not.
Clay Andrews yes. But I ignored it. It has something to do with going to my place. Accidentally she was on her way home but she pinned the wrong location. I mean instead of pinning it on her way hone , she pinned it on my place. She called but I ignored. She texted me but I ignored it. Now, I texted her, she ignored me . I miss her so much and even though she cheated on me, I still love her so much. What will I do?
Happy LATE bday Clay :)
I asked for a phone call, he said why? i said well lockdown is a long time... it wont be for another two months (Giving in mind we arranged to meet after lock down for coffee) He then said maybe. What do I do? Coronavirus is bad here. We text but he never messages first I do most of the texting and his texts are quite short
It sounds like your ex may be at the test drive phase, where he is still guarding himself up on your interactions.
a hand written sanatized letter x'D that killed me
Happy birthday in Jesus’s name :)
so im late to the party, a year after the breakup we were really good friends but after that she started pulling away, did i miss the train?
"38 Ways to Do All the Emotional Work for a Relationship Where You Already Did All the Emotional Work Only to Get Taken for Granted and Discarded" --fixed the title for you
I love tricia with all my heart I don't understand why she's saying I cheered when I never have . There's always to sides to every story
You guys read our texts and u what's going on. Tell me the truth gas she moved on
Was it the book by Scott McCloud???
Happy birthday!! :)
What if they are being logical?
Hope had a good birthday 🎂 was was doing no contact month then month again only send me a smile face my phone February nothing since then blocked me what up can't block phones we OK each other next day send me a away last nire we made up the next day told me phone him never answered me
Clay happy belated my wife and i are supported i moved out 6 months ago she is dated someone now told me it might help her appreciate me more we speak like everyday and she told me she doesn't feel the same way i do for her but she does miss me she says she feels bad im hurting i love her alot and want things to work out you do think its possible for us to work it out im not ready to move on
Thanks for the birthday greetings, Dave. It is always possible to work things work. But always remember that getting back together is a process. At times, we have to move on from the past pain and hurt so we can start over from a clean slate.
she told me she is dating someone and needs to find herself i told how is she gonna do that being with someone she said it might help her appreciate me more i dont know what to do clay i want my wife back i really want to work things out what do i do i wanna call her right now but she doesnt want me calling her phone unless i was told not to take her calls anymore for some time by family what videos of yours should i listen too and can this be saved can we get back together
Too much. Can we just focus to the best 3-5 tips?
Hey, sunshine! Happy birthday 🥰 Can I, please, ask a question. Maybe other guys can give their opinions too, it would be great. The breakup happened approximately 2 months ago. My ex and I now contacting from time to time (always my initiative, but I’m fine with it), I’m trying to make an emotional connection. And sometimes our conversations are good, sometimes he’s cold. Yesterday my macbook died and I asked him for help, he gave me money for the repair and said that I don’t have to pay him back. I asked “why thanks, is it my birthday present?”, he said “not yet, it’s just for repair”. Guys, guys, guys, how do you think - is that a good sign or am I just being delusional?
Hi - i am No expert But from the ton of research i have done yes its a good sign , keep it slow and consistant and pressure free chats - slowly building - but your ex might be Avoidant and they run hot and cold and dont contact so much or he might have a Personality type that doesnt contact first much worth looking into personal development school on youtube - as they specialise in that ..
@@globalmark3300 thank you!
Yeah it's a good sign
What if we have kids and we see each other anyway and he dating someone
You should do Limited No Active Contact.
We talk about this inside the Tricky Situations of our program because as a parent, you must absolutely have your child's well being as a top priority and communication with your ex is crucial.
Just try to keep your contact with your ex solely base on the kids, while focusing on honing your Advanced Relational Skills.
how could i get a personal coach session with you?
Omg I thought you were like 28..... ?
Thanks for compliment. :-)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
How do I send you correspondence?
You can send us an email at hello@modernlove.life and our team will pick things from there. :-)
29:54
🎉🎂🎈
That BS machine runs a lot over here ugh 😫
That makes you 41 lol today so some young people do have their shit together lol
Happy Birthday Clay!
Thanks, Sharon. :-)
@@ClayAndrews Welcome!😊
@@ClayAndrews Hello Clay how do I get emails from you as I'm struggling finding a way to subscribe to your emails list
You are amazing