Complex PTSD & Spiritual Bypassing: Dissociate No More!
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- Опубліковано 5 вер 2024
- Disassociate no more! For those who manage Complex PTSD, the lure of the pursuit of spiritual perfection can draw us into dissociation, a common coping mechanism from childhood.
In this video, Karuna puts the spiritual practices into perspective: Meditate to reduce anxiety and bring greater awareness; study and embrace therapy to better understand and recover from Complex PTSD, as building voice and establishment of healthy ego are vital to healing.
Complex PTSD can occur in families where children have been emotionally, spiritually or physically abused or abandoned. Invisible symptoms include debilitating inner shame, self-blame, guilt, a particularly harsh inner critic, alienation, isolation and residual depression. Outer symptoms can include tendency toward addictions, broken relationships and inability to hold focused attention.
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Could you give a quick definition of "spiritual bypassing" please. I was in a list of "don'ts" on something that I had saved via screenshot, but I'm not clear on the definition. Thanks.
Great question. See my video here: ua-cam.com/video/4M6-JO7_fbM/v-deo.html
Also my blog post, Nine Top Spiritual Terms Explained, including spiritual bypassing: www.hubfortheheart.com/nine-top-spiritual-terms-explained/
For me, self compassion has helped the most.
“Cognitive therapy” is rarely used for trauma therapy anymore thank god. Somatic experiencing is the best method. Thank you for sharing that because it’s very rare to hear “spiritual” people acknowledge that it can be dissociating for those with trauma to meditate. It was something I came to understand myself when my symptoms became to unbearable to “sit with” anymore. The fight or flight was so overwhelming it was, and I could hear, the little girl in me screaming “no I don’t want to sit in silence like a good little girl anymore and just take this shit. I shouldn’t have to accept the unacceptable.” Oh boy was she right.
I don't know what to say. I'm feeling speechless. I've just begun learning about CPTSD and the subjective experience of it (Walker's book arrived today ;-) Your description of spirituality vs. the coping mechanisms for CPTSD resonates so much. As I watched your video I heard my story to an uncanny degree. I've had so many "spiritual" (I don't care for that word) experiences of overwhelming love, deep reverence and briefly experienced complete dissolution. I'm having to look closely at my spiritual bypass behaviors vs. true spiritual experiences. Your video has given me a huge amount of sobering info to sit with. I am grateful.
I hope you have more material on this subject.
Thank you So much!
- Daniel
+Daniel Brown Thank you, Daniel, for this honest, open and candid sharing. It is, indeed, a lot to consider once we consider Complex PTSD, the spiritual practices and our overall choices in life. Those of us who have experienced Complex PTSD must remain vigilant, as Walker shares so eloquently, in finding inner voice and authenticity. Walker also shares that sometimes the inner critic is so strong we have a hard time separating inner critic from authentic voice. Wow! We are ever holding up the flag for authenticity and inner voice.
I do post regular vlogs on my channel; thank you for your encouragement. You can also visit my blog, www.hubfortheheart.com/blog/, for written thoughts about Complex PTSD, Narcissism and Spiritual Authenticity. Should you have specific topic requests, feel free to let me know. I will present workshops in the UK during summer/early autumn; and Hawaii-based gatherings for late Autumn and Winter. I will post event dates here in vlog form and also on my web site.
+Hub for the Heart
Thanks so much for the Very kind and thoughtful reply. My truth is that the book, this video and your responses etc. have undermined my "game". Many shifts are happening as a result including a strong and abrupt distaste for my past pseudo-spirituality. I find it comforting to know others are moving through similar transitions. Thank you for sharing the links and other info. I will definitely check out your other videos etc. I wish I could give you a big hug of gratitude!
Cognitive behavioral therapy plus meditation plus yoga plus learning how to let my loving inner voice overshine my loud inner critic is exactly what helped me. I agree. I finally feel free. Now i amnstill struggling with where to go next.
You definitely talk about it in a way that ptsd ppl can understand and not feel weak, because I’m a strong person I just have cptsd
Vipassana meditation was my practice. 20 mins a.m. and before bed. Just watching the breath.
After about a month, I noticed a need to cut my fingernails; odd, because for 30-years I'd bitten them, and never consciously even wished to stop. I believed that this practice was benevolent, and that "it" would transform me. It sang the song that OSHO spoke when he said that "trying" to, for example, stop smoking simply puts the part of one who wants to smoke against the part that wishes to quit. A conflict where the "smoker" is a stronger part of the identified self. He says that one is better off conscious of every desire and action involved, and if it falls away, it falls away. The fingernail biting I took to be analogous in that as I was achieving calmness (nervous system more regulated), as evidenced by the loss of a neurotic behavior.
After years, sitting became painful, and consistently so.
I was, as instructed, following the breath until a sensation came, and if it stayed for some time, make that sensation the object or point of awareness.
I sat while I was likely being injured by a medication I was taking, and really could a) no longer differentiate a problem (physical) which required action, and assumed that the body was doing what was needed to unwind the implicit memories of my earliest years.
b) lost sight of "who I was", and allowed my professional and social lives to falter. This seemed a natural unfolding, and simply a part of my transformation from the "false self" to the increasingly authentic.
I'm sure that this was/is quite the spiritual bypass, but I've still not gotten away from the lingering discomfort of feeling energy blocks much of the time.
I remember hearing Ram Dass talking about when he was a Psychotherapist and a client came in reporting riding their bike, running, etc., only to continue to increase in feelings of energy. He said he had a paper on his desk which discussed the symptoms of Kundalini rising, and the client was comforted by this. So was I, as I thought that this must be, to the uninformed, be happening, and their labeled Bipolar and medicated?!
It is highly confusing, and I've been twice told I'm stuck in the birth canal (Grof comes to mind), it still seems that "being with it" is all that can be done. Maybe along with balancing other obscured needs, which are truly "on vacation" to this consciousness. Anhedonia, Depression, and Avoidant PD seem the (d)evolving Psychological "takes", while spiritually, I don't know, as I haven't always been this way. Maybe the "mask" is gone, but I've not created a new one, and it seems like an existential crisis.
Thanks for the video some 6-years later, and if you have, for taking the time to read that which your video has inspired. With gratitude.
Thank you so much I think this Spiritual bypass is exactly what I am facing these days. I had read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and had just learnt about being the observer of your thoughts. And thank God I'd learnt it, or else I wouldn't have know what I'm facing. My experience with this is , that overindulgence in self help books and videos , I feel that has become like my new go-to thing for perfection rather then working with my feelings. And in my head I feel myself comparing my actions with some Divine Enlightened persons I admire. Your video really helps to assure me. I have hypochondria and OCD ,so little things make me feel like I'm alone in this, what'll happen I won't be able to come out etc etc. I'll die if I remain stuck and stuff like that, this really helps. Will look into your channel for more related stuff. Thank you 😊
What you are teaching are the tools i used at centain points to find joy in my complex PTSD. YOU ARE GROUND BREAKING!! TYTY. Light and LOVE
This really helped me. I have slowly been figuring out why I feel this way. I knew it was from situations I went through being raised by my grandmother, but I didn't know why anyone else understood my level of it. Sometimes I feel I can't even take care of my hygiene. My grandmother timed showers and if we took longer than 5 minutes she came in with the belt and beat mine or my sister's wet behinds. It was really bad from when I was 12-19. I thought I'd never leave that prison. But now I've been gone 2 years and am 21 now. I have an amazing boyfriend who I've put allot of stress on with this but yet he still keeps trying for me and trying to help me be happy. And every time I try I just fall again. And I don't feel comfortable trying. It feels so scary. This video though really gave some understanding and great advice.
+Kaleigh King Your sharing is deeply touching, Kaleigh. You have been gone 2 years and your understanding is far, far ahead of my understanding at your age. Well done. You are learning, you are understanding, you are sharing here with a community of people who *get it!* We rise from the ashen remnants of an abuser's arson by doing exactly what you/we are doing: learning, untying knots, talking/writing/sharing as the "charge" lessens, and, importantly, differentiating emotional and intellectual self from family or origin. One's genetic coding does not provide right to abuse a child! We remember this daily and even say it aloud, for in this remembrance, we fully recognize how ludicrous it is for one who says they "love" another to abuse. Yes, we fall, yes we rise......but the overall trajectory is movement toward an inner liberation that was, ultimately, spawned by external abuse. A liberation that the tormentor will never know in their barren, demented dismalland.
Yes get angry, yes cry.....and fully feel the grief of never having the birth family you dreamed of. Pete Walker's book is a great help for this guidance. We empaths are the loving ones who, sometimes, need to call upon more logic rather than more empathy! As we heal, we can now choose what to give and what not to give-including forgiveness. We are moving toward our authentic voice/self, and logic also heals, so the flutters of the heart don't carry us away, away, away.......
I am glad the video is helpful. I support you 100% as do many others in our community of people who understand. And, I am so happy you have a wonderful boyfriend to model steadfast love!
This is so important to talk about in the spiritual community! Thank you for talking about it!
Thank you for sharing your story and explaining in depth about complex PTSD and its relation to childhood experiences. I'm currently working through many cycles of perfectionist tendencies tied to patterns in my childhood, but I'm gaining a much more comprehensive understanding of them now. 💖💖💖
Brilliant description of complex PTSD
+Jessica White Thank you for your comment. Nothing like personal experience to inform choice of words. :)
Have you read 'Healing the Shame That Binds you', by John Bradshaw? His work in phenomenal!! Thank you for the time you invest in this for all of us healing from CPTSD!!
Thank you for sharing meaningful resources. I have not read this book and am happy to have your recommendation for our community here.
Yes bought it years ago, very good book! I have most of his books, they helped me understand where my issues came from.
Thank you.. You explained the most clearly what spiritual bypass is..I have been working on both the CPTSD and my spirituality...It was crushing to think I was doing something wrong by using spirituality as a comfort and calming practice while doing Therapy.
This is exactly where I am in my life right now. Thank you for posting this, I've found it really helpful.
Thank you for being in touch, Amanda. Glad to hear the video is helpful and thank you for subscribing to the channel. Feel free to be in touch with any specific requests. We recently recorded a training programme and will be posting brief excerpts as soon as the video is ready!
Loved your video. I was diagnosed about 3 year's ago. This has helped me to believe that I can move forward in my life and start to figure out who is am and start to slowly baby and steps heal. My words for this year are - Heal & Happiness. Thank you so much for your video. xxx
Excellent. I used to use spiritual practices all the time to perpetuate my same patterns of self-hypercriticism, to try and make myself happy from the inside, and disassociate from outside events, rather than just walk away from situations that were not in truth to be in at all and were basically incompatible with self love and happiness. But I still meet traumatized people everyday who insist their happiness should not be dependent on external things whatsoever, so they do not take many realistic actions their soul might be screaming for them to do!
Thank you so much for shining light on this subject. I haven't heard many people talk about this specifically, and I have missed it. It is so easy to go into bypassing or dissociation while using meditation, especially if you seek away from emotional pain, if you are not aware of what you are doing. So many spiritual environments don't understand this, so thank you for making it more available to the masses. xx
+Siri Evensen I am happy this subject resonated with you. In my experience, in order to weave together the fractured parts of our self, we must become present with and give voice to the child part of our self that dissociated in order to protect. By giving voice to him/her, we acknowledge and allow expression (something s/he never had and was, likely, shamed for!). S/he then begins to, at least, feel safe *with* our wisest adult self and starts to develop allegiance with our wisest self. This is an important step toward authenticity: to feel, give voice to and integrate the components of our younger experience which, in turn, steadily yet inevitably, move toward authentic voice and authentic self. Thank you for watching this video, Siri!
You speak words that i exclusively heard in my deepest thoughts and trauma spirels, you get it and i'm relieved. Will tune in often
+Catherine Hogue Thank you Catherine. We are relieved together. :) This is exactly why I started this channel. Onward we go as spiritual champions for inner voice and authentic self!
Hi, the symptoms you describe are classical symptoms for me. I am giving it a lot of attention these days, because my stress levels are at an all high and nervous system overloaded.
The meditation is helpful. Thanks again.
Thank you dearly ✨
Encounter this channel and hearing about your journey and the knowledge /wisdom youve gathered, gave me hope in a dark time. 🙏🏻
Beautiful sharing. Yes, there most certainly is hope! Knowledge, awareness and experiential wisdom are our guiding lights that weave us into a greater unity, at last.
Oh hey Karuna!
Wow you just put me in my 10th year when I believed I should be spiritually perfect, now I'm 54 and trying to remember who I am was and hopefully who I will be, Thank you.
This integration reminds me of what's called non-dual therapy which likewise synthesizes a meditative practice with explorations of unresolved issues originating in childhood but which require such an integrative approach. Certainly someone who puts all their faith in a spiritual practice and moreso with an obscessive notion that it's a "cure" for their angst and with the aim of denying or suppressing what you've designated as Complex PTSD would be primary candidates for this
Very true
Relationships as a "safe-haven?". (What a concept.)
Yup.....many of us are acting out and, then, hopefully, healing our hurts/wounds whilst in relationship. My approach is: To accept responsibility for my own happiness (not expect another to be responsible for my happiness) and, also, grow more conscious whilst in relationship. Then, the relationship does, indeed, have a possibility of being a haven, a respite and soul-full joy. Thank goodness, many of us are waking up and realizing that "normal" has not worked out well for individuals and the world!
Love this. Thank you. I relate SO much to this. I have attachment issues from childhood.
Wrote that before i even finished watching. I'm speechless because what you've said in this video has really been my struggle for months.
Well said and completely affirms my journey. Thank you and blessings
Thank you for your time and advice. 🙏✌️♥️🌎
You did a great job with the video, you look very healthy.
+movado Thank you for viewing. Through steady inquiry, dedicated practice and a deep desire for wellness, recovery from Complex PTSD is possible. We each can bring together splinters and rest in authenticity (health). Hope to encourage all here.....
Very cool and helpful. I think inner healing work, innovative truthful healing techniques is what the world needs alot More of going forward. Lots of tech advances, but very little forward motion in this essential area I feel. More power to you. I will continue to watch 😃
I agree. It's time we raise adults who don't need to recover from their childhoods. Through authentic inner healing, we stop the cycle of trauma, we no longer act out or pass the dysfunction on to children, families, the workplace, our communities. We become more interested in service to all humanity, all beings. Thanks for watching.
This video is Right On, and you should really take IFS training, you would Love it... if you haven't done it since.
so wow!! fantastic advice!!!!
Thank you so much for this
Excellent video!
+Sarah Taylor Greetings, Sarah. Happy to hear you appreciate this video. My years of study have led me to conclude that many of us who are interested in transformation are initially drawn to spirituality due to some variety of Complex PTSD. Therein, avid spirituality can become another coping mechanism, albeit a positive one--until it's not. I'm a fan of meditation, just not at the expense of developing authenticity and inner voice.
We are on the same page! I agree - anything can be used to bypass what needs to be truly dealt with, even one's spiritual practice. It's so important people attend to their psychological health, not just their spiritual fitness. Many people awaken on the spiritual path, and that awakening can include the uncovering of trauma. I think a whole, healthy person needs contact with their spiritual core as well as a well-developed sense of self and psychological awareness. Keep up the great work you're doing! xo
Thanks... helpful... :D
As someone with complex ptsd, it is a great challenge to find help. No therapists here, and I have to resort to reading and utubers for help.
I offer online sessions to people from various countries. Many clients find meaning and purpose in these sessions. Feel free to be in touch. www.hubfortheheart.com Also, here's my video about therapy and what to look for: ua-cam.com/video/ixvuvyyWMFc/v-deo.html
Do you live in Canada? The medical profession here does not recognize PTSD (unless you're a soldier). They diagnose you with anxiety disorder and depression and want to give you antidepressants. You can't access help through our medical system unless you try to commit suicide. You can go to free drop-ins but it's a different counsellor each time so you spend your whole session re-telling your story so you never progress. I get the most help from reading books and watching UA-cam.
i love your channel, thank you
So happy you are enjoying the channel. Thank you for being touch and, as always, feel free to let me know if you have topic requests.
Thanks!!
I get it and I know for some time what is going on but I still get triggers and react to them over and over again. So I don't have much trust in your point of view. Greetings from Marianne from the Netherlands
I believe in a spiritual walk to my own understanding, not religion. Knowledge will set you free combined with just living your life it is essential you understand the complexity of our condition but I confess I'm lazy or too easily distracted ADHD although lately I have been journaling not yet been able to sit long enough to meditate. Although I do stand and turn around when things get too crazy and say this is the present moment. Everything inside my head are just thoughts and endless array of thoughts. It is true those who suffer from CPTSD have a parasite living in our head. I became a acutely aware of that after reading the book of knowledge as I have evolved intellectually so has the parasite learned to disguise itself more, but right at the right moment it comes out to remind you are not worthy. CPTSD the first letter C for complex is right there is another book healing developmental trauma how early trauma effects self-regulation self-image and the capacity for relationship five developmental stages once missed you go into a survival style, the brain does not quit developing just because you're in a shit hole environment growing up. It just adapts to survive. I was once a machine now I am a human being.
Awesome, thx!
What is the book by Bob Walker?
Here's the book I refer to:
www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD/dp/1492871842/
Thank you for viewing! If you resonate with my channel, feel free to be in touch for private sessions as well: info@hubfortheheart.com.