When my partner and I combined our finances, we went through all the basics-bank accounts, credit cards-but we soon realized we also needed to talk about things like our investment portfolios
I hadn’t really thought much about the investment part yet. We both have our own retirement accounts, and we’ve each got a few individual investments. Do people usually manage those together after they get married?
It depends, but it’s a good idea to at least look at them together so you’re both on the same page. My husband and I decided to sit down with a financial planner, and it made a big difference. She helped us align our goals and even identified a few overlaps that weren’t helping us much
Oh, I did something similar with my wife. We actually went for consultation with Nora Jean Erickson, She specializes in helping newly married couples with portfolio management, so she really understood our situation. I’d definitely recommend it.
Free consultation? That sounds perfect. I’ve heard about her but didn’t realize she offers free initial meetings. What kind of things does she go over?
Because the shacking up is usually not the problem under discussion. Like in this case. If they were living apart but under the same financial arrangements, it'd be creating the same issue as what's being discussed here.
Lol I think Dave needs to spend some time reading the comments on any UA-cam video he has about combining finances when married. Rachel is so spot on. Every time I read through any of those comments they're the most hateful of any video subject. It really blows my mind. She's absolutely right it's like the topic people get the most offended about. I mean look at the comments on this video already 😅 But also, all of her points are completely true. Based on all those comments I've read. It's lack of trust, lack of communication, selfishness, desire for independence, avoidance of a difficult topic instead of learning how to work together... It's sad that so many ppl feel this way.
Honestly, I think it was just the way the laws were negotiated. Someone was paid a lot to allow a law to pass that involved transferring a huge amount of money from a breadwinner to the loser and there is nothing backing as to why this was a good idea. We are all adults, we should be making our own. Of course, I am basing my thoughts of the comments. ;)
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 I guess I thought the laws were to help the stay at home mothers back then because of lack of higher education, children and lower set of skills, but now a days more women go to college than men, and we have the same opportunity. Makes no sense to do it now. Since I am a Christian, I’d just say marry a good Christian spouse that you share most of the same values with and don’t divorce. Then no one loses.
I think having a similar mindset over finances is equally important as similar values like religion or political leanings. Conflicts within those mindsets/values can wreck marriages.
Yeah, but don't folks need to seriously work this stuff out BEFORE they get married (budgeting & spending as one). It's a heck of a bad time to figure out you don't agree after you marry...
We got married in our 40s. Dave's teaching was key in helping us combine our finances and work together on shared goals. I treasured my independence when I was single, and I treasure our interdependence now as a married couple.
I think this is how finance should be done when married. Have a joint checking and savings where all income goes in to pay all bills. Then budget the left over income assuming you both don’t live paycheck to paycheck say for example $500/m each into separate bank account to be used for each individual wants and needs. This way each spouse still has a sense of independence.
Thats exactly what I am planning as well. She can spend $200 on shoes and once she's out of personal funds that month, after bills paid of course, then that's it. same for me. Four accounts total.
What's the difference between doing that and having a single account where the wife only pulls out 500 a month for such things? That's the point of this video, if you can't trust your spouse to only spend 500 a month from that single checking account, according the budget, then you shouldn't be married.
@@rmarli17yup exactly and there will be no asking can I buy these shoes or whatever. Or one of you can save your $200/m say for 6 months have $1,200 and buy a gift for your spouse to show how much you care because you could’ve spent the $200/months on yourself!!
@@TheFlyingZululol because the video explains this is not reality. You can’t exactly know what each other spends out of one checking account unless you pull cash out and not many people use cash anymore. So if you separate the $500/m in to your own checking account then you know or you can have a separate credit card with $500 limit and that’s what you can spend per month. Shoot these days you can load $500/m into Apple Cash to make it easier!
I'd agree if both shared goals and financial understanding. But if one spends recklessly with the expectation the other is going to keep shoveling money into the pot to cover them, then separate is better. I was in a relationship with a woman that had consumer debt and I offered to help her budget to get it paid off and she wanted to know why I wouldn't just pay it for her so we could start our life together(I made about double what she did with no debt myself). I told her I'd share the same lifestyle at her level while she took care of the debt(would have taken around 3 years) so she wouldn't be 'suffering' alone(I wasn't going to eat steak while she ate bolgna); that was the sacrifice I was willing to make while she sacrificed to take care of her debts. I needed proof she had learned her spending habits needed work and that she could be responsible with money. She wasn't interested in that. We parted ways soon after.
The only people that seemed happy about sharing accounts is the people the person that doesn't make a lot of money in the relationship of course they want a joint account more money for them
@@jborrego2406I make more and would never not share everything. Everyone is the comments seem like they think about divorce and have extreme distrust all day long.
@@elindigeno1215 um...if you didnt sign a prenuptial, dont start crying now. I strongly suggest that men get these because of the predominately female run society.
If you can not have an open communication on all topics including financial plans with your fiance do not get married. If you can not trust each other to share a bank account do not get married. If two people work together with same goals it is a powerful thing.
4:37 I don’t think that people think that you ran over their dog, I think that people think of how highly favored women are in divorce court. Are you really being honest with yourself?
When your married you are supposed to be partners in all aspects of your life, combining money is important. I do think you should be honest with everything before so you know what you're getting into.
I’ve never understood the reason to open two additional bank accounts just to put spending money in when you can just designated a certain amount every month for spending out of the budget?
@@lukerider479 because I don't know what I'll spend each month. Sometimes we have higher bills. Sometimes we want to spend more on food. Or take a road trip out of the blue, etc etc etc.
60k per year as a welder at 20 is excellent. He is already close to the top 90th percentile of welders according to Bureau of Labor Statistics. I know a lot of underwater welder makes more than double that though.
long ago, the nature of a company bonus was being discussed, cash or a computer. A senior engineer wanted the computer. I asked him why. He replied, if its cash, the wife handles it. the computer would be his
Hey producers if y’all read these comments. Please guide them to stop talking over each other. I know they aren’t arguing with each other, but they both have good things to say but we can’t hear them if they are talking loudly at the same time.
Key message: "We value saving, we value generosity, we value investing. We value spending money on X or Y as a couple. My spouse values Z and I love my spouse so I value my spouse having Z." Couples need to discuss their values and reflect those values in their budget.
@@bsca1956 You have $100K in checking and put $5K /week into it. So your Camera see your wife write a $120K check on a new Benz. That was the down on the new house. Instead, you put $1K/week into HER account, for Magic beans and Unicorns.
@@LG123ABC How do you know, you can't trust someone until they break it? Put $5K/week into your joint account, and see what happens? You only truly know a woman, when you divorce her.
I realized that the secret to wealth is saving for a better investment. I always tell myself you don’t need that new car or that vacation just yet and that mindset helps me make more money investing. I invested 100 grand in NVDA, PENN, TSLA shares and call options with the help of my advisor and made 450k, but guess what? I put it back and traded with her again and now I’m rounding up close to a million.
Any man getting married should get all this knowledge from a paid lawyer. In which he also learns how to protect himself to the fullest extent. It’s too much of a risk for men to not take these precautions.
Bad thing is, you have no idea if that lawyer is working in your best interest. They could leave it somewhat open ended so some way in the future, some $ will come back to them. Better than doing nothing though.
Why even bother getting married if the man is that concerned about the risk? Just stay single because this mentality is going to make the marriage miserable.
@@tajiri7 How is a woman supposed to trust her husband if this is how he comes into the marriage? I don’t understand men who think like that. There’s nothing wrong with staying single if you’re going to start the marriage off by planning for the divorce.
@@mbyrd6713 There is no use for me to try to explain. There are tens of thousands of stories of men you can easily find that went into marriage with your logic. And lost everything, resulting in suicide, homelessness, having to start completely over, etc. If a women cannot understand that her man should seek protection from these things. Then I wouldn’t marry her in the first place. Let me guess, you don’t think dna test should be mandatory either?
Only power couples should combine their finances after getting married. If he makes 35,000/yr and she makes 80,000/yr, he can get greedy and clean out the account right befor filing for divorce when or if he decides he loves money more than her.
I will never combine finances ever again. Especially when the other don’t value a budget, and think the bank account is free Willy account and bills don’t get paid.
This topic is always interesting. I don't think it's about whether or not you share bank accounts, it's about open communication, honesty and being on the same page about your life goals. If you want to keep your accounts separate, do that, but understand that legally everything is still split 50-50 anyway. My husband and I don't have joint accounts, but we sit down each week and do our budget and split up the bills etc. We know exactly how much is going in/out as a household.
Exactly. But I can understand having account together just makes it simpler for a lot of people because it encourages the "we" mentality automatically.
Nope! That's a recipe for failure. It shows a complete lack of commitment. If you're not ready to go "all in", then don't get married. Doing anything in life in a half-assed manner rarely works out.
Open joint account after the wedding. Direct deposit all paychecks into that account. Pay the bills together from that total pool of cash. Save what is left. Simple
I like her in her own way, but she’s too young, nice, and sweet. I imagine that she’s like her mother. I want someone that’s more like Dave. Just my own opinion. She is great though!
Absolutely have a joint bank account. However! If your spouse is bad at math, it is perfectly fine to also get 2 additional separate accounts for "fun money" on toys like her nails, his video games, etc. That way you both can easily see "ah I cannot afford to by all this stuff becuase I already spent our allotted budget on wants"
Marriage and money are mutually exclusive concepts. Please don't combine your finances with anyone. The only time you should transfer your money to someone is when you make a will and you know that you are going to die.
I wish Rachel had driven home the point: it's not just feminism, it's also toxic control in men who don't want to let go of finances by joining accounts. Unfortunately, the hate comes from both sides. Trust should be critical in your decision to get married.
Out of curiosity what would you say to someone who was a man nervous about combining finances due to the disproportionate amount he may lose should things go south. Prenup?… imo while its important to combine finances in my view the combined finances should only be present for combined ventures think bills, house payments, education possibly paying down each other’s student loans if you have any. Although separate accounts should be utilised to isolate and money from your joint ventures like individual investment portfolios, properties which they may own in their name etc these assets or other forms of equity are not in a joint venture so should be isolated from your combined finances. As long as you both contribute proportional to your income to the joint account for your joint ventures anything you do with the remainder pre determined amount of your money is “fun money” isolated from the serious joint checking account you can use this money for whatever and in the even of a divorce etc the money and assets are separated and protected some might even go as far as putting the assets under a holding company they established to further protect assets . TLDR: its not just men who have toxic control there are plenty of reasons to have some degree of separated finances when marrying although all joint ventures should be done through a joint account. No matter how much you trust someone, the world is ruthless and its important to protect yourself if you stand to disproportionately loose out should things go south.
@@ironinventor9528 It's great to have ideas, but all of your "should" statements completely defeat the purpose of this video. A person cannot come to these conclusions without their spouse and expect a unified relationship. They should talk through it together and invest in the plan together. What tamara said is a good, general rule that can be applied to all marriages.
@@ironinventor9528 To your point, it's also not just men who can walk into a marriage with the bulk of the assets. While every marriage is different, in all honesty, marriage is a business decision. We get caught up in the emotion and forget that. What I would say to anyone is don't get married if the money means more to you than the marriage. My husband & I prioritize family stability over money. We disagree on a lot, but we agree on our goals of wealth & legacy and the commitment of marriage. I believe in separate (equal amount) fun money, but everything else is joint. We don't do proportional budgeting. Everything we both bring is put in one bucket & dispersed according to the budget we've agreed upon. And everything is transparent. I recommend trust, but confirm.
Even if both people are on the same page, that might be best. That way, if one wants to spend more money on something than the other thinks should be spent, one doesn't get upset at the other for doing it. Just so long as family maintenance and investments aren't affected or a person tries to get the other to give them money if they spend their foolishly. I've seen too many women get upset at a guy buying something for himself from joint money only to see her spend three times as much on herself the next day thinking there's nothing wrong with it. This might avoid that.
@@TheFlyingZulu Which doesn't prevent people from doing what they want without the other; it DOES allow one bad actor to make matters even worse. A sensible person sees that BOTH are true....depending on the couple.
Why get married bro stay single? When you get married you take a risk and that risk included that someday she might leave you for someone else, it's a risk doesn't mean it will happen but it's always there
I think Ramsey Philosophy does not take into account the Moral Hazard that situations like this could create. If a person knows that they aren't going to be the one to carry the burden of their future debt and they don't care if their spouse ends up working till they are 80, what stops them from running up a whole lot of debt or choosing not to pay down a portion of their debts before marriage?
When your partner spend way too much than you, how do you make sure or have a. Conversation with them they don’t fall into debt without looking like you are controlling them?. Because at the end of the day, their debt is your Debt.
Too many times have I seen married couples get divorced and one of them empties the bank account and runs with it. You especially see this with soldiers deployed. This is the sole reason why I don't believe in joint bank accounts.
@@auroramothergoddess So men should take on women's children with another man, and financially support that child? So, you would also be okay if that same man made the decision on where to move the child, what school to put that child in, what haircut, what clothes, etc.? Of course not. Women: Men need to financially support a child that is not their child, but have no say so in being the father of the child. I would emotionally support a child that is not mine, and I would discipline a child that is not mine, but I am not financially supporting a child that is not mine.
@@chartuck you know you can say you refuse to date women with children instead. when you love somebody unconditionally and take their hand in marriage you also love their children
@@auroramothergoddess Yep, you've either got to be willing to take on the baggage or refrain from dating women with kids. Lots of guys won't and that's okay.
My fiance said that a 30k dollar wedding is an investment And shes a Christian And im trying to save up for a house But guess who gets to pay for this soecial day ?
I don't understand why anyone would get married or combine finances in this day and age. What a stupid, near suicidal level of risk. If you can communicate well enough with your partner to budget together, you can communicate well enough to do it separately too.
Are you married and doing that? I think combining finances makes the commitment and shared goals more real. If you are too scared to combine finances because the marriage could end, you shouldn’t get married at all.
@@Chickpea-15 You definitely don’t need to combine finances to make commitment and shared goals more real. Just commit. When there are goals, stick to them. When there are promises, keep them.
Why is Dave all of the sudden using the word ‘butch’ it’s out of line an crude. I can’t listen to this with a child around. I wish I could let my son heat good financial advice with the cussing. Let me know your thoughts.
Dude, in our society, kids are already doing it at like 12-13 years of age and chances are they will hear these words when they are younger. You are just wasting your time.
@@seeingblind2 do you mean laws that make it legal to marry at 18, or laws that discriminate against the unmarried? yes to both. or other marriage laws?
@@eatpigsnot others but please elaborate. I haven't looked into marital status discrimination. I looked into marriage laws and statistics around divorce where 93% of divorces are initiated by women. 95% of family court judges are women. Women gets 50% of everything you own regardless and the judges and the courts will agree. What about the prenup, you may ask. Well judges are now annulling prenuptial agreements due to the woman being "under duress" in that the man won't marry them unless they sign. Also common law marriage means you're legally recognized as married if you cohabitate for a certain amount of time depending on the state.
We got married July 2020 and we’ve been waiting for the social security office to reopen to change her name. Her drivers license has her new name but her legal name is still maiden.
We have combined finances after getting married. We have one budget. Only "downside" - I feel like I'm paying for his kids. It's ok, it's in the budget but still, has a funny notion to it. :)
It is certainly okay to pay for children whose lives you decided to be part of. Better than okay, it’s the right thing to do. Hope you have a great day, thanks for sharing and enjoy your family.
@@msi8311 of course. My husband told me when we first met that he has a kid, so I knew what I was getting :) sad part of the story...we are not allowed to see her. Fighting in court since 2017. I wish we could actually share lives.
I would not mind investing in Starbucks and Target. If I invested money in those and had those paid to me in dividends and then allowed my wife only those things...easy.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 “Don’t get high off your own supply”. If you invest in these companies, it doesn’t help for you personally to spend even more money there.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 this is why I invest in things I use 🤣. If they're gonna take my money I need to get something out of it. She may spend $10 on Starbucks this week, but I better get $20 in return that same week from the investment
Steve Harvey answered a question like this and his answer was every married couple should have 4 bank accounts. Your main account is where both paychecks go, after you pay all the bills, you put money into a savings account, then split the money in half and put them in two separate checking accounts. That way the bills are getting paid and each person can have their own lives while saving a little bit of money
I don’t get why Men nowadays get married, Dawg getting married puts all the Power in the woman Your giving her a Contract That she gets rewarded For breaking it
🤣🤣🤣 seriously it’s crazy they are insecure about “their money” like sir didn’t you want a wife ? 🤦🏻♀️ these dudes want the benefit of a wife without doing anything for it
I clicked on this clip to get genuin advise on the process and heard 1 point (join accounts) and everything else was rants. Change the title to Dave's rants, no advice.
When my partner and I combined our finances, we went through all the basics-bank accounts, credit cards-but we soon realized we also needed to talk about things like our investment portfolios
I hadn’t really thought much about the investment part yet. We both have our own retirement accounts, and we’ve each got a few individual investments. Do people usually manage those together after they get married?
It depends, but it’s a good idea to at least look at them together so you’re both on the same page. My husband and I decided to sit down with a financial planner, and it made a big difference. She helped us align our goals and even identified a few overlaps that weren’t helping us much
We actually went for a free consultation with Nora Jean Erickson.
Oh, I did something similar with my wife. We actually went for consultation with Nora Jean Erickson, She specializes in helping newly married couples with portfolio management, so she really understood our situation. I’d definitely recommend it.
Free consultation? That sounds perfect. I’ve heard about her but didn’t realize she offers free initial meetings. What kind of things does she go over?
I don’t understand why people who shack up call Dave knowing he won’t approve.
People have no depth of comprehension, the average person has a merely average intelligence, and they always think they are the exception.
Because the shacking up is usually not the problem under discussion. Like in this case. If they were living apart but under the same financial arrangements, it'd be creating the same issue as what's being discussed here.
There are a lot of people who just aren't used to thinking beyond what they're doing right now.
Sad but true.
Lol I think Dave needs to spend some time reading the comments on any UA-cam video he has about combining finances when married. Rachel is so spot on. Every time I read through any of those comments they're the most hateful of any video subject. It really blows my mind. She's absolutely right it's like the topic people get the most offended about. I mean look at the comments on this video already 😅
But also, all of her points are completely true. Based on all those comments I've read. It's lack of trust, lack of communication, selfishness, desire for independence, avoidance of a difficult topic instead of learning how to work together... It's sad that so many ppl feel this way.
Honestly, I think it was just the way the laws were negotiated. Someone was paid a lot to allow a law to pass that involved transferring a huge amount of money from a breadwinner to the loser and there is nothing backing as to why this was a good idea. We are all adults, we should be making our own. Of course, I am basing my thoughts of the comments. ;)
Men want a wife without doing anything for it
@@auroramothergoddess You called yourself an It XD
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 I guess I thought the laws were to help the stay at home mothers back then because of lack of higher education, children and lower set of skills, but now a days more women go to college than men, and we have the same opportunity. Makes no sense to do it now. Since I am a Christian, I’d just say marry a good Christian spouse that you share most of the same values with and don’t divorce. Then no one loses.
My wife and I shared everything from Day 1. Still happily married 42 years later 🙂
I think having a similar mindset over finances is equally important as similar values like religion or political leanings. Conflicts within those mindsets/values can wreck marriages.
I agree 100%
Yeah, but don't folks need to seriously work this stuff out BEFORE they get married (budgeting & spending as one). It's a heck of a bad time to figure out you don't agree after you marry...
You talk about it and discuss it before you're married. And no amount of "practice" before the wedding will prepare you for what happens
Yes, you do all of that before marriage but you don't fully combine checking accounts and money before marriage.
Okay so here’s how you do it. Open a bank account with both your names on it. Then move your money to said bank account. Crazy right?
We got married in our 40s. Dave's teaching was key in helping us combine our finances and work together on shared goals. I treasured my independence when I was single, and I treasure our interdependence now as a married couple.
I think this is how finance should be done when married. Have a joint checking and savings where all income goes in to pay all bills. Then budget the left over income assuming you both don’t live paycheck to paycheck say for example $500/m each into separate bank account to be used for each individual wants and needs. This way each spouse still has a sense of independence.
Thats exactly what I am planning as well. She can spend $200 on shoes and once she's out of personal funds that month, after bills paid of course, then that's it. same for me. Four accounts total.
What's the difference between doing that and having a single account where the wife only pulls out 500 a month for such things? That's the point of this video, if you can't trust your spouse to only spend 500 a month from that single checking account, according the budget, then you shouldn't be married.
@@rmarli17yup exactly and there will be no asking can I buy these shoes or whatever. Or one of you can save your $200/m say for 6 months have $1,200 and buy a gift for your spouse to show how much you care because you could’ve spent the $200/months on yourself!!
@@TheFlyingZululol because the video explains this is not reality. You can’t exactly know what each other spends out of one checking account unless you pull cash out and not many people use cash anymore. So if you separate the $500/m in to your own checking account then you know or you can have a separate credit card with $500 limit and that’s what you can spend per month. Shoot these days you can load $500/m into Apple Cash to make it easier!
Why do you need an account when you can just budget the spending money?
WE ARE ONE! We work on OUR budget together using OUR money
I'd agree if both shared goals and financial understanding. But if one spends recklessly with the expectation the other is going to keep shoveling money into the pot to cover them, then separate is better.
I was in a relationship with a woman that had consumer debt and I offered to help her budget to get it paid off and she wanted to know why I wouldn't just pay it for her so we could start our life together(I made about double what she did with no debt myself). I told her I'd share the same lifestyle at her level while she took care of the debt(would have taken around 3 years) so she wouldn't be 'suffering' alone(I wasn't going to eat steak while she ate bolgna); that was the sacrifice I was willing to make while she sacrificed to take care of her debts.
I needed proof she had learned her spending habits needed work and that she could be responsible with money. She wasn't interested in that. We parted ways soon after.
The only people that seemed happy about sharing accounts is the people the person that doesn't make a lot of money in the relationship of course they want a joint account more money for them
@@jborrego2406I make more and would never not share everything. Everyone is the comments seem like they think about divorce and have extreme distrust all day long.
My wife will have a good some of my money.. as a men thats my job to provide for my family! Just my prospective.
My wife left me for another man and i feel crushed because i provided for her.
@@elindigeno1215 um...if you didnt sign a prenuptial, dont start crying now. I strongly suggest that men get these because of the predominately female run society.
@@elindigeno1215You didn't marry the right woman.
You took that risk when you married her there's always that risk regardless how of an angel you think she is
Like Ramsey said 'i make money selling common sense' 🤦♂️
Damn lmao
Common sense is not common.
We have been married 28 years and joint che checking keep things simple
Sure it does. And then you can take everything when you divorce.
@@bashfullJ88good points the courts won’t have any issue with that
If you can not have an open communication on all topics including financial plans with your fiance do not get married. If you can not trust each other to share a bank account do not get married. If two people work together with same goals it is a powerful thing.
Do what Best works for your marriage, no one size fits all...
4:37 I don’t think that people think that you ran over their dog, I think that people think of how highly favored women are in divorce court. Are you really being honest with yourself?
When your married you are supposed to be partners in all aspects of your life, combining money is important. I do think you should be honest with everything before so you know what you're getting into.
They should Already be talking about money before marriage
We've been married 12+ years. We have a separate and a joint checking + we have a joint savings
If I ever get married, that's the way I want to go.
That's what my husband and I do too. So far it's been working out
I’ve never understood the reason to open two additional bank accounts just to put spending money in when you can just designated a certain amount every month for spending out of the budget?
@@lukerider479 because I don't know what I'll spend each month. Sometimes we have higher bills. Sometimes we want to spend more on food. Or take a road trip out of the blue, etc etc etc.
@@stlguy1976 so, why does it have to be then taken out of one account and hidden in another. Just take it out and spend it and skip the extra step
He’s already doing it. Just keep going.
Never heard him swear on air before! 😲
60k per year as a welder at 20 is excellent. He is already close to the top 90th percentile of welders according to Bureau of Labor Statistics. I know a lot of underwater welder makes more than double that though.
Did you miss the part about "being away from home" aka he's a traveling welder. I make that much in auto repair working 30hrs a week
@@justinballard7242 I highly doubt that.
It's simple, everything you make now belongs to your wife
Remember women begin the divorce process 93% of the time. Good luck!!!
long ago, the nature of a company bonus was being discussed, cash or a computer. A senior engineer wanted the computer. I asked him why. He replied, if its cash, the wife handles it. the computer would be his
Yeah, that's not going to fly. Thus why I will either marry in a third world country or not at all in the states until the law changes.
@@joechang8696 was the wife more responsible with money?
And visa versa
Hey producers if y’all read these comments. Please guide them to stop talking over each other. I know they aren’t arguing with each other, but they both have good things to say but we can’t hear them if they are talking loudly at the same time.
You tell em’ Colby!
Key message: "We value saving, we value generosity, we value investing. We value spending money on X or Y as a couple. My spouse values Z and I love my spouse so I value my spouse having Z." Couples need to discuss their values and reflect those values in their budget.
If your spouse is a chronic spender why would you give them the key to the safe?
@@bsca1956 I like this
@@bsca1956 You have $100K in checking and put $5K /week into it.
So your Camera see your wife write a $120K check on a new Benz.
That was the down on the new house.
Instead, you put $1K/week into HER account, for Magic beans and Unicorns.
@@aolvaar8792 If you can't trust her then don't marry her. It's that simple.
@@LG123ABC How do you know, you can't trust someone until they break it?
Put $5K/week into your joint account,
and see what happens?
You only truly know a woman, when you divorce her.
How do I write into the show? My situation is complicated.
Oh you know the saying, my money is my money and your money is my money.
I realized that the secret to wealth is saving for a better investment. I always tell myself you don’t need that new car or that vacation just yet and that mindset helps me make more money investing. I invested 100 grand in NVDA, PENN, TSLA shares and call options with the help of my advisor and made 450k, but guess what? I put it back and traded with her again and now I’m rounding up close to a million.
With respect for all of you
But when uncle Dave say it, it’s set in concrete .
Any man getting married should get all this knowledge from a paid lawyer. In which he also learns how to protect himself to the fullest extent. It’s too much of a risk for men to not take these precautions.
Bad thing is, you have no idea if that lawyer is working in your best interest. They could leave it somewhat open ended so some way in the future, some $ will come back to them. Better than doing nothing though.
Why even bother getting married if the man is that concerned about the risk? Just stay single because this mentality is going to make the marriage miserable.
@@mbyrd6713 If this is your line of logic in 2021, you don’t care about men and/or don’t understand men.
@@tajiri7 How is a woman supposed to trust her husband if this is how he comes into the marriage? I don’t understand men who think like that. There’s nothing wrong with staying single if you’re going to start the marriage off by planning for the divorce.
@@mbyrd6713 There is no use for me to try to explain. There are tens of thousands of stories of men you can easily find that went into marriage with your logic. And lost everything, resulting in suicide, homelessness, having to start completely over, etc. If a women cannot understand that her man should seek protection from these things. Then I wouldn’t marry her in the first place.
Let me guess, you don’t think dna test should be mandatory either?
I was gonna call in with this exact question
@@saulgoodman2018 ???
Only power couples should combine their finances after getting married. If he makes 35,000/yr and she makes 80,000/yr, he can get greedy and clean out the account right befor filing for divorce when or if he decides he loves money more than her.
I will never combine finances ever again. Especially when the other don’t value a budget, and think the bank account is free Willy account and bills don’t get paid.
My husband and I have separate checking account. We only have a savings account
You learned the hard way, but you learned.
@@azteca6695 thats why your marriage will fail
@ChrisM18 and you should never be married again!
@@famousamos1 would never ever plan on that.
What about taxes? How do we set up our W4 and withholdings? What's the difference between filling jointly and separate.
Completely combining financial accounts didn’t work for me and my wife. But we both know what each other has.
This topic is always interesting. I don't think it's about whether or not you share bank accounts, it's about open communication, honesty and being on the same page about your life goals. If you want to keep your accounts separate, do that, but understand that legally everything is still split 50-50 anyway. My husband and I don't have joint accounts, but we sit down each week and do our budget and split up the bills etc. We know exactly how much is going in/out as a household.
Exactly. But I can understand having account together just makes it simpler for a lot of people because it encourages the "we" mentality automatically.
Kevin O'Leary is right it's better to have your assets you come in with separate and just open a joint account
I'm not sure how that works for people with different obligations. What if one partner has children and the other does not?
No. Have a joint for the bills and house stuff put 30-40% of each paycheck. An a personal for the rest.
Nope! That's a recipe for failure. It shows a complete lack of commitment. If you're not ready to go "all in", then don't get married. Doing anything in life in a half-assed manner rarely works out.
Open joint account after the wedding. Direct deposit all paychecks into that account. Pay the bills together from that total pool of cash. Save what is left. Simple
Save first, not "what is left."
GIVE RACHEL THE CAR KEYS SHE READY TO DRIVE ONCE DAVE GETS OUT OF THE DRIVER SEAT!
She may change the whole fefail demographic if the politicians do not change the laws first.
I like her in her own way, but she’s too young, nice, and sweet. I imagine that she’s like her mother. I want someone that’s more like Dave. Just my own opinion. She is great though!
12000 ain't enough for her part
Absolutely have a joint bank account. However! If your spouse is bad at math, it is perfectly fine to also get 2 additional separate accounts for "fun money" on toys like her nails, his video games, etc. That way you both can easily see "ah I cannot afford to by all this stuff becuase I already spent our allotted budget on wants"
Marriage and money are mutually exclusive concepts. Please don't combine your finances with anyone. The only time you should transfer your money to someone is when you make a will and you know that you are going to die.
I wish Rachel had driven home the point: it's not just feminism, it's also toxic control in men who don't want to let go of finances by joining accounts. Unfortunately, the hate comes from both sides. Trust should be critical in your decision to get married.
Out of curiosity what would you say to someone who was a man nervous about combining finances due to the disproportionate amount he may lose should things go south. Prenup?… imo while its important to combine finances in my view the combined finances should only be present for combined ventures think bills, house payments, education possibly paying down each other’s student loans if you have any. Although separate accounts should be utilised to isolate and money from your joint ventures like individual investment portfolios, properties which they may own in their name etc these assets or other forms of equity are not in a joint venture so should be isolated from your combined finances. As long as you both contribute proportional to your income to the joint account for your joint ventures anything you do with the remainder pre determined amount of your money is “fun money” isolated from the serious joint checking account you can use this money for whatever and in the even of a divorce etc the money and assets are separated and protected some might even go as far as putting the assets under a holding company they established to further protect assets .
TLDR: its not just men who have toxic control there are plenty of reasons to have some degree of separated finances when marrying although all joint ventures should be done through a joint account. No matter how much you trust someone, the world is ruthless and its important to protect yourself if you stand to disproportionately loose out should things go south.
@@ironinventor9528 It's great to have ideas, but all of your "should" statements completely defeat the purpose of this video. A person cannot come to these conclusions without their spouse and expect a unified relationship. They should talk through it together and invest in the plan together. What tamara said is a good, general rule that can be applied to all marriages.
@@ironinventor9528 To your point, it's also not just men who can walk into a marriage with the bulk of the assets. While every marriage is different, in all honesty, marriage is a business decision. We get caught up in the emotion and forget that. What I would say to anyone is don't get married if the money means more to you than the marriage. My husband & I prioritize family stability over money. We disagree on a lot, but we agree on our goals of wealth & legacy and the commitment of marriage. I believe in separate (equal amount) fun money, but everything else is joint. We don't do proportional budgeting. Everything we both bring is put in one bucket & dispersed according to the budget we've agreed upon. And everything is transparent. I recommend trust, but confirm.
A joint account for the family and keep your own separate accounts. There is such a thing as too much togetherness.
Even if both people are on the same page, that might be best. That way, if one wants to spend more money on something than the other thinks should be spent, one doesn't get upset at the other for doing it. Just so long as family maintenance and investments aren't affected or a person tries to get the other to give them money if they spend their foolishly.
I've seen too many women get upset at a guy buying something for himself from joint money only to see her spend three times as much on herself the next day thinking there's nothing wrong with it. This might avoid that.
@@csx6910 Wrong and wrong on the original post... the entire point of combining accounts is to plan everything and budge everything together.
@@TheFlyingZulu Which doesn't prevent people from doing what they want without the other; it DOES allow one bad actor to make matters even worse. A sensible person sees that BOTH are true....depending on the couple.
Why get married bro stay single? When you get married you take a risk and that risk included that someday she might leave you for someone else, it's a risk doesn't mean it will happen but it's always there
There is only one person on earth I am combining my finances with......my dog.
I think Ramsey Philosophy does not take into account the Moral Hazard that situations like this could create.
If a person knows that they aren't going to be the one to carry the burden of their future debt and they don't care if their spouse ends up working till they are 80, what stops them from running up a whole lot of debt or choosing not to pay down a portion of their debts before marriage?
It's simple DON'T
Been married over 10 years an still keep separate banking account.. knowing who pays what helps alot..😏
Us too! We have separate and joint accounts and it’s worked just fine for us!!
@@daniellemcnamee1565 I prefer your approach. Y'all have transparency in the bills getting paid and maintain sence of individuality.
Its okay to have separate finances. There are solid reasons to do it.
My parents have been married for 40 years and have always had separate accounts... guess it works for some couples
When your partner spend way too much than you, how do you make sure or have a. Conversation with them they don’t fall into debt without looking like you are controlling them?. Because at the end of the day, their debt is your Debt.
Oh my lady …. Why you interrupt Dave all the time…
Too many times have I seen married couples get divorced and one of them empties the bank account and runs with it. You especially see this with soldiers deployed. This is the sole reason why I don't believe in joint bank accounts.
Second marriages, never combine finances. Especially when your new spouse still has to support her grown children.
That is why you talk before getting married.
Support “her children” marriage is a partnership 🤨🤔
@@auroramothergoddess So men should take on women's children with another man, and financially support that child? So, you would also be okay if that same man made the decision on where to move the child, what school to put that child in, what haircut, what clothes, etc.? Of course not. Women: Men need to financially support a child that is not their child, but have no say so in being the father of the child. I would emotionally support a child that is not mine, and I would discipline a child that is not mine, but I am not financially supporting a child that is not mine.
@@chartuck you know you can say you refuse to date women with children instead. when you love somebody unconditionally and take their hand in marriage you also love their children
@@auroramothergoddess Yep, you've either got to be willing to take on the baggage or refrain from dating women with kids. Lots of guys won't and that's okay.
What if you split up and he then prevents you getting money out the combined account I hear that a lot in divorce
It was my husband decision that we have a joint account and I have a separate account. And it works well for us.
1st step pre nup no matter what
Whoa. Did Dave just use the B word? Wasn't prepared for that😳
It was used as a verb, not as a noun.
My favorite parts are when they talk over each other
Basically these strictures say we can’t trust people or our crazy ideas of love and reciprocity so we need marriage. Oh how cynical marriage is.
I love how he keeps interrupting her every time she speaks during THIS specific conversation🤦♀️
People love money more than their partners
My fiance said that a 30k dollar wedding is an investment
And shes a Christian
And im trying to save up for a house
But guess who gets to pay for this soecial day ?
Everyone has to work within their own dynamic and don’t get greedy to r use money to exert control and power.
I don't understand why anyone would get married or combine finances in this day and age. What a stupid, near suicidal level of risk. If you can communicate well enough with your partner to budget together, you can communicate well enough to do it separately too.
Are you married and doing that? I think combining finances makes the commitment and shared goals more real. If you are too scared to combine finances because the marriage could end, you shouldn’t get married at all.
@@Chickpea-15 No, I would never get married.
@@Chickpea-15 You definitely don’t need to combine finances to make commitment and shared goals more real. Just commit. When there are goals, stick to them. When there are promises, keep them.
@@om617yota8 That probably means that people will not be interested in any marriage advice you have to offer.
It’s a trap!
When married do you put all 401k accounts under names?
Why is Dave all of the sudden using the word ‘butch’ it’s out of line an crude. I can’t listen to this with a child around. I wish I could let my son heat good financial advice with the cussing. Let me know your thoughts.
Dude, in our society, kids are already doing it at like 12-13 years of age and chances are they will hear these words when they are younger. You are just wasting your time.
Well getting married was your first mistake!!!
don't know about that, but marrying at 20 is a huge mistake
@@eatpigsnot Depends on the people. My mother was 19 when my parents got married and they were married for over 50 years until the death of my father.
@@eatpigsnot have you seen marriage laws? 😳
@@seeingblind2 do you mean laws that make it legal to marry at 18, or laws that discriminate against the unmarried? yes to both. or other marriage laws?
@@eatpigsnot others but please elaborate. I haven't looked into marital status discrimination. I looked into marriage laws and statistics around divorce where 93% of divorces are initiated by women. 95% of family court judges are women. Women gets 50% of everything you own regardless and the judges and the courts will agree. What about the prenup, you may ask. Well judges are now annulling prenuptial agreements due to the woman being "under duress" in that the man won't marry them unless they sign.
Also common law marriage means you're legally recognized as married if you cohabitate for a certain amount of time depending on the state.
We got married July 2020 and we’ve been waiting for the social security office to reopen to change her name. Her drivers license has her new name but her legal name is still maiden.
We have combined finances after getting married. We have one budget. Only "downside" - I feel like I'm paying for his kids. It's ok, it's in the budget but still, has a funny notion to it. :)
It is certainly okay to pay for children whose lives you decided to be part of. Better than okay, it’s the right thing to do. Hope you have a great day, thanks for sharing and enjoy your family.
@@msi8311 of course. My husband told me when we first met that he has a kid, so I knew what I was getting :) sad part of the story...we are not allowed to see her. Fighting in court since 2017. I wish we could actually share lives.
That's a great question
I would just stay single. Marriage means more problems that you wouldn't have if you were single.
Thanks to our politicians!
Never get married!
Mathew is tripping over himself to go through the hardship of simping. He makes 60 she makes 12. Classic simp move.
Your money now becomes coach bags Starbucks and Target 😂
I would not mind investing in Starbucks and Target. If I invested money in those and had those paid to me in dividends and then allowed my wife only those things...easy.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 “Don’t get high off your own supply”. If you invest in these companies, it doesn’t help for you personally to spend even more money there.
@@ChrisfromDevelopment It does not, but tell your wife that. LOL! I am just making sure I turn a profit every time the wife should spend. lol
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 lol I see now. Gotcha.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 this is why I invest in things I use 🤣. If they're gonna take my money I need to get something out of it. She may spend $10 on Starbucks this week, but I better get $20 in return that same week from the investment
Another reason to not get married
Oooo, Ramsey said a swear! 😂
He should fire himself off the show like he did Chris.
Timestamp?
I heard it twice 😮
@E Where have you been? O_o
RedPill forever 💊💯
Steve Harvey answered a question like this and his answer was every married couple should have 4 bank accounts. Your main account is where both paychecks go, after you pay all the bills, you put money into a savings account, then split the money in half and put them in two separate checking accounts. That way the bills are getting paid and each person can have their own lives while saving a little bit of money
Never combine finances if the other one is indebt 😏
Exactly
I already know the replies I’ll get. “Don’t you know human nature needs the institution of marriage to reign in on it”.
Dave Ramsey swore!
I don’t get why Men nowadays get married, Dawg getting married puts all the Power in the woman Your giving her a Contract That she gets rewarded For breaking it
"I can't have no wife" - lil yachty
It's a reason lil is in front of his name
He has some growing to do
@@Snacks1991 yet he doesn't because he has more money than you
@@simsimmaa8343 and you
"Our debt" 😂😂😂. Please.
Big big mistake, only do that if your insignificant other proves that is worth to keep
Based
Can't wait to scroll through the comments before the sad divorced men and incels get he- OH
🤣🤣🤣 seriously it’s crazy they are insecure about “their money” like sir didn’t you want a wife ? 🤦🏻♀️ these dudes want the benefit of a wife without doing anything for it
And some complain even though they’ve never even had a wife 🤣like get a girlfriend first buddie how about you work on yourself instead of complaining
I clicked on this clip to get genuin advise on the process and heard 1 point (join accounts) and everything else was rants. Change the title to Dave's rants, no advice.
The day you do it... You will start losing your respect... For a man, respect is everything...finally it will end up in divorce.
How will he lose respect?
"women need to have their voice" as he continually interrupts the co-host...
Another one bites the dust.
How does joining finances work?
Easy, she tells you "what is yours is mine and what is mine is mine."
You got married, deal with it.
Reason 9,052 I'll never get married.
Wow preschool teacher only makes $12,000
It would've been a decent video if Dave wouldn't cut her, so much for relationship advice