Rude Things Considered Normal in Estonia
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- Опубліковано 2 чер 2024
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•Life in Estonia
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★ TABLE OF CONTENTS ★
• 00:00 A True Story
• 02:34 Excellent Poker Face
• 03:50 Ignoring Friends and Acquaintances Outside
• 04:57 Minimal Small Talk
• 06:36 Comfort with nudity
• 08:01 Greetings
• 10:27 Food at home for guests
• 11:48 A Tour of House
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Well you did miss the most important thing to say to someone doing physical work "Jõudu".... we have cut out the "tööle" part lately (gotta save them words). Very appropriate when passing someone shoveling snow for example. This is answered with "Tarvis" and that's it. Small talk! EEeeeh? We do it.
Good point.
"jõudu" is like a sorta blessing.
Jõud means "strengh" or "power" so you wish them Jõudu. And tarvis means "needed" so yeah.
Noding is considered polite.
If countryside and in small town/vilage, it is normal to say tere/hello, some may even start chatting with you then.
I would not say we ignore acquaintances outside. But indeed, if there is nothing to say or ask or discuss, usually just smile, or wave, or just "Hi" is enough. Time is priceless. :)
Yes indeed.
Hi! I think another reason you are not invited into home when meeting up is because its annoying to wait for someone. When you decide to meed up at your house you are expected to be outside by the time the other person is arriving. Inviting into home is a little bit embarrassing cuz it means you are running late :)
Wow, it turns out I'm not weird I'm just live in the wrong country, I gave always felt like not speaking with people if there us nothing to ask
About small talk.
Estonians (like Finnish) are very inert. There is a great barrier of energy that has to be overcome - it takes a lot of effort to make us talk.
Once you have managed to break the thick layer of ice you might regret ever doing so because the person now thinks he should share everything with you ;).
I always ended up with a huge smile on my face whenever I hear people sharing their experiences in Estonian and in Finland, and how normal stuff in those countries may be perceived as rude in other countires. Even though I am neither Finnish nor Estonian, I end up with a smile on my face because all the things people mention seem wonderful to me and very normal. My thought is always the same: "so nice to hear that there are perfect places". I know they are not 100% perfect but close enough (^_^)
Thank you for your comment. Great to have you here.
Gonna add that South-Estonians are more talkactive and may small talk. There is even language difference. As example ppl from south speak different Estonian than ppl from north. One example: we use word pääle but north ppl say peale etc.
Didn’t know that. Thanks for sharing.
Can people from north understand - kun um tu lump kun kunna umma? Kus on see lomp (tiik), kus on konnad? Where is the pond where are frogs? :D Just a little tonguetwist in võro language.
Most of ypur videos are quite good some are even informative, but this was mostlly painfully wrong.
A taxi driver in Tallinn who was from the south told us that. She was so funny. She made Tallinn residents sound almost surly.
12:40 if You find " Eesti vanasõnad" book . Estonian old frases then there is one " Minu kodu on minu kindlus" = " My home is my fortress"
Interesting, do you know where I can find that book?
Gotta love your videos. I am an estonian myself and its much fun to listen to your observations and to tell you the truth you have hit the nail in many a thing.
Thank you and I appreciate that a lot. Good to have you here.
I may add, why people in northern parts tend to be reserved and talk less - it all comes from climate, if its bad/depressing weather most of the year (exaggerating a bit), then you have to save energy, you do not know, when is the next time you can kill mammoth or deer to get food, or fish from under the ice. Also you have heat the house, cut wood. All activities are very much human energy consuming. So you save energy - stay quiet and talk only about really important. But in sunny countries, there are lot of wild fruits and berries to eat, no ice - easy to fish, do not have to heat your cave, there comes bubbly personality. This was probably some thousand years ago, but we are still same, although no need to kill mammoth, but considering current snow, for modern human, going to supermarket through this snow, it is tough enough :D :D
The cultures talked about in this video are common also in Japan. But Japanese generally make smiles to get a good reputation from people whether they're comfortable.
In my small experiences, Estonians were kind and friendly. When we walked around a forest in Estonia and observed mushrooms, some talked to us with smiles.
Are you from Japan?
We don’t have time for small talk and little formalities because we are busy programming the next Skype 😂👌
06:55 I don't remember that well, but I think there was also frisky movies on TV in the early 90s. In daytime they showed movies. It was before internet and TV licensing. You could broadcast your own TV from your garage. Those were some seriously good times!
Of course you're not going to say "Hi" to a friend on the street, they may feel obliged to ask how you're doing or something crazy like that.
'Something Crazy' indeed 😂
Keep on being you Manan. Happy to see you are still around. Point 2 is so me. I just give a nod and maybe a smile but my headphones stay on and i will keep on doing my thing
PS! love the turtle neck
I think Estonians also make clear distinctions in between which people it is appropriate to approach outside of work, etc when you just run into them bc it depends on your relations with them in general. For instance, I wouldn't necessarily approach senior colleagues or bosses when they are out with their family in a supermarket because it could be considered invading someone's private life and thus impolite. As a rule of thumb, when you are not on such friendly basis that you'd talk about partners or family members, kids etc with this person at work then it would be good not to bother them when they are spending their free time with their families. It's the same when you go out in the evening to a restaurant and your colleague is on a date, you would not go there to interviene as a third wheel. You don't want to bother and also you would want to avoid situations where you'd not be welcome in and get rejected bc you overstep a boundary bc it creates embarrassment to all parties :) I think Estonians are quite anxious of social rejection actually, so they better avoid the risk by not taking initiative to be one the safe side.
About the food thing, the majority of people work so they don't have the time to prepare a full buffet of homemade stuff. That's more for weekend dinners. In third world countries it's normal for stay at home wives to take care of the house, family and food. In Estonia you wake up in the dark, work, get home in the dark, have time to maybe make dinner and then it's bedtime.
That is a good point, although take away food is changing it now. There are quite a few services that provide home-made food delivery. (These are not on Bolt or Wolt).
Thank you for a great video! It's always so interesting to hear how people from different cultural backgrounds interpret certain things and behaviors 😊.
I dare to disagree with the 2nd point though. I am certainly more than average introverted Estonian, so too intense and (for me) excessive interaction with people isn't something I really enjoy. But when I meet friends on a street or in a store, for example, I never ignore them, especially if we haven't seen for a long time. And even if we have met recently, even if we both are in a hurry, we still at least greet eachother and usually find time to exchange couple of sentences, too. It's normal for me and for them as well. Yes, maybe if I meet a colleague whom I just recently talked to at the work the very same day or a neighbour I see every morning, then we probably won't start talking but just greet or wave to eachother. And if it's a person who's not too familiar to me but we still know eachother - for example my kids' teacher or a parent of my child's classmate, then just a polite greeting is enough. But ignoring - no.
Btw, my kids have told me that they hate to walk with me on the street because I always meet somebody and then start chatting which is sooo annoying for them 😅. And I can really assure that socially I'm pretty typical "Estonian", not too open and rather very introverted, even by local "standards".
Thank you for sharing and such a heartfelt comment.
There may be gender related differences. If I see my friends out in public it is like you said. We nod (like hello, and it is enough) and maybe some small talk (in queue or if you really bump into). If you are in public and doing your things, we do not tend to chat. "You are doing your things, I am doing mine" motto. 30s later in parking lot we start to chat :D We just do not want an open conservation in public. Whole other thing if we are going together somewhere.@@MananAnwar
I think that this behaviour of Estonians may be because that before Soviet occupation Estonians were largely Lutherans and even though nower days they no longer regard themselves as Christians, I think that they are still culturally Lutheran. If you want to know more about Lutherans read some Garrison Keillor.
Thank you, interesting insight.
In South Estonia we make the food that we put on the table for our quests not buying it from shops 😅 and anytime you come to our home even for tea/coffee then also you get to see a lot of food on the table, it is a must be for us to feed you😅 also we are very talkative even to strangers,but if you have a "resting b***h face" look on your face then there is a chance we don't want to talk to you😅
So when are you inviting me to your home?
Huvitav! I have been appalled by requests for home tours. So weird, and so common the US.
I dont agree with nr 2 also. Other points are true.
Bro this is europe in general hahahah same things in Poland and especially in northern europe. We are quiet.
Shaun - The Good Doctor 🙃
Btw, I was starting to think, as you probably have some many Estonian followers, could you share information about your own country - most beautiful spot/area in nature, culture in general, food, what is you favorite dish, can we have recipe of that etc. I would be very interested, I watch a lot of UA-cam videos of travelling and peoples experiences and life in different countries, which I am not able to visit probably, but I am interested all of that : )
Thats a really different idea.
I think what I can do is whenever I visit home, I can make a vlog or videos from there.
On point as always! ❤ from 🇪🇪
The last point is so true. I havent really thought about it but yeah, i dont usually invite friends inside when they are at the door...even if they are friends from childhood. I only invite people into my home if they come announced and i have prepared.
I thought you were going to be talking about how people flip the bird instead of shaking hands or fa*t loudly in lifts. Disconcerting, potentially misunderstood sounds more appropriate. I notice that the Visit Estonia, which I presume is the official website for Estonia, does not have a culture shock page. Perhaps you could suggest they create one and offer to contribute. If possible, try to arrange that contact through an acquaintance as my experience is that while the person greeting the public may be sympathetic, the boss probably won't see the point if it is not pitched directly to him or her. Good luck with your project.
If you have a contact you can send them my way.
My wife worked with only life insurance employees and I have no contacts myself in Estonia. But here in Lithuania, generally you need an introduction to get somewhere. Even donating a completed webpage would probably not get you anywhere.
Here they hold language courses and I suppose I might contact such people first.
I looked at the website again and they have all the people involved listed. So I wrote a letter to the general address (BCC to you). Perhaps nothing will come of it, but if enough people request such information, they might feel a need to provide it.
Such a page really needs someone from outside the community involved in its creation.@@MananAnwar
Eesti is beautiful country, I'm very fond of and feel just like home. Suomi/Finland is here.
Beautiful indeed.
What do you mean by saying it's different in the other parts of the world? In Japan, in Pakistan, in Brazil, in Finland or in Italy? By the way, in Tallinn the chance is at least 50/50 that the other person does not understand or does not want to communicate with you in Estonian language.
Very interesting video.
Glad you think so!
About the food in 20-30 years ago it was also common to prepare your own food for quest and it was not polite to buy food, but with the time things change. unfortunately estonian become lazy slowly, even small talk with strangers starting to come our life. just today i witnessed that. and about naked culture. one time i visited canada, i was 18-19 that time and one night with other youngsters we decided to make movie night. because i was the quest they let me choose what film to watch. i choosed "American Pie", nice comedy with little nudity. But next day their parents where upset with them and embarrased that i had to see such movie. i had to explain half a day that it is normal to watch such movies here, even for children and later they make fun that it is normal to walk streets half naked in Estonia. In the end all well.
What about asking about how much someone makes? In my experience, Germans and Estonians have this in common, haha
In Brazil that is really rude and invasive.
I think generally it is considered inappropriate across the world?
Yes it is rude. Even asking for which company someone works - is so and so. You have to be a bit closer relationship than "just met". :)
There is even joke about - having sex at night is not serious reason ask for name in the morning ;)
@@chac66 There is a higher probability of first seeing a young Estonian woman without clothes, for instance in private saunas, than seeing her without makeup.
The first thing is already a lie. My mom meets old friends and they talk for too long
Your mom is an exception. Most Estonians dont bother each other unless there is a reason or special time for that.
In my experience there is a generational difference, younger people tend to not want to talk so much in a supermarket for example as older women. It also depends on where you live (small town or bigger city) and your own personality (introvert vs extrovert).
In my experience there is a generational difference, younger people tend to not want to talk so much in a supermarket for example as older women. It also depends on where you live (small town or bigger city) and your own personality (introvert vs extrovert).
Nudity is considered very rude mostly in religious places, most Estonians don't understand Americans obsession with movie ratings, because it seems so prude and nonsensical. Like a random movie with a simple screenplay that can be understood by a 7 year old is R rated, because some Christian moms (who started the movie rating business) are upset due to kissing scenes, implied sex that no child understand anyway and some vague nudity (like outlines of a person or someone nude running to a lake, nonsexually). Growing up in an atheist society I don't understand why nonsexual nudity is a thing at all and even if it is a romantic scene, but nudity is more implied, then no one cares. I think Americans are crazy about it, maybe other nations too when they are very religious. No one watches actual porn or erotic movies with their friends anyway.
I don’t think that is the case. Germans for example are very religious but they have a very different view of nudity.
All seems totally normal to me. I'm from Finland.
Terve
I would be very curious to get to know the health system in Estonia!
State healthcare system.
Check out www.tervisekassa.ee/
Of course estonians say hello to a good friend.
Most of these are similar to Sweden
I noticed strong similarities between ppl growin up in east germany and people in estonia concerning the reserved "cool" characteristics. Interesting to see and makes total sense observing historical context
Interesting. Thanks for sharing.
Manan :D ofc if you see someone old friend first is that u need remember is that this guy or girl :D not jump in :D Hello Kevin or katri :D
If i live in estonia for 5 years with trp What are the chances i will get permanent residence ?
If you pass the tests and don't break any law then you have quite high chances.
estonia is good im estonian
If im an eu citizen will i get Permanent residence permit automatically or i should go through the same process like a non eu citizen
Yeah you’ll get PR.
@@MananAnwar automatically ?
Small talk is an indication of a hidden agenda :)
Nope.
at least estonians dont ask this extremely s-tupid question "hauajuu". its so exhausting
Nothing wrong with that question.
You are wrong about not interacting with friends when you see them. Maybe you've gotten the wrong impression, but I find this video very misleading. The things about nudity (except sauna), not greeting people, whatever else. Not true in general.
Cool. You're definitely 😁 right. Tell me, how can we know each other better?
In my opinion he is so right
@MananAnwar
I read somewhere that every year the number of new temporary residence permits are issued based on a quota, which can’t exceed more than 0,1% of Estonia’s permanent population
But if you’re employed at a startup
or you’re an ICT specialist
or you’re a top specialist earning at least €2528 gross monthly salary.
do you know if its true ?
true
@@MananAnwar
For eu citizens its the same ?
Maybe your colleagues dont like you that much to talk with you outside of work?
Sometime yes. Not all the time.
At the end of the day, most coworkers or people you casually "know" are not your friends. They are acquaintances. There are certain aspects of your life that you share with family and/or friends only, like inviting them to your home or to your wedding for example. Estonians don't invite the whole village just cause we know them.
Are we really so bad.
I would say to watch how you treat eastern european “white people” outside of the baltics