I once asked a girl if she was on a spectrum during a date... We were on our first date and she made a joke about how she blundered Qd5 cause she didn't consider Nc6 Bd7 e5 Nd4. What a geek
I went on a tinder date and we were at her house. She locked herself on the bathroom for a long time and I really needed to go to the bathroom. So I was embarrassed and almost shitting my pants so I left. Also I think she was on the spectrum.
Alex’s perspective on rejection being healthy for your psyche is actually really insightful. People who fear rejection actually need to experience it so they can grow.
@@BotezLive yeah. You are pretty healthy in that aspect. And talking about this things that happened to you is proof of that. Im pretty sure that more of one took some notes for improvement. I dont think that tinder is a good place in general, but you are doing well so far.
Ignoring the fact that statments of such general articulation are by default inaccurate. Being able to handle rejection properly necessitates a healthy psyche, and depending on the kind of fear of rejection, the rejection is more likely to be further detremental to the individual than to actually facilitate growth. Obviously being rejected is a part of the human experience and being able to handle it is necessary to become a more whole person. However a fear of rejection is rarely rooted in the inability to understand that fact( in fact people who don't seem to understand that fact rarely fear rejection because they don't grasp the concept of being rejected), but actually being too aware of that fact, and making up all the reasons in their head for why they could be rejected, which actually facilitate the fear in the first place. Those people are utterly insecure and further rejection only furthers the insecurities and is actually detremental to those people.
I personally never had a problem with rejection. Please reject me if you don't like me. Wouldn't want to be with someone that would pass up someone as great as me. Not trying to be an egomaniac, but this is the way I love myself.
Someone said "Botez Gambit", I didn't see "declined". Alex had mate in 16 if she took the queen, but she was too intent on checking every move. Checking with the bishop dropped her to -7.7, then the unforced hanging mate in one. Weirdly, bd7 was the best move, attacking the queen and blocking the check from the rook.
Us autistic people just prefer if you ask us if we're autistic. When people say special abilities it also makes us feel uncomfortable becuase most of us are just normal, only 10% of us are savants.
As a teacher who has taught kids on the spectrum for about 15 years, I can tell you that higher functioning kids with autism tend to gravitate toward chess. The step by step nature appeals to the analytical nature of the brain with autism. Also, there is a decent chance that HE was on the spectrum and was looking for common ground. Just a thought.
I'm not on the spectrum(as far as I know cus I'm not the most normal guy either) but I got a friend who's autistic and he got into chess but has this problem where he really hates losing and unfortunately it kinda ruined chess for him. I wanna get him back into it sometime in the future. He refuses to play me out of fear I'll beat him and I'm barely 900 elo on a good day lol, so yh just a semi related story
ngl i'm suspecting Alex is actually on the spectrum. Andrea has said she thinks Alex is really weird, has joked that Alex doesn't have many friends, Alex herself explained her feelings towards dating culture in this video which make it sound like she's demisexual, which is more common for people on the spectrum. Andrea also appears to have ADHD, which would make the odds of Alex not being neurotypical higher. Also, there has been some talk about one of them wanting to bite arms, and that's a known neurodivergent thing
Honestly Alex, thank you for talking us so openly through those experiences. As someone who ended recently a long relationship, has extremely limited experience with dating apps and has been advised by all his best friends (boys and girls alike) to get on some dating app, I feel pretty uncomfortable about making that step and that kinda stories make me feel better about it.
“He left while I was in the bathroom”. Super bright, attractive lady in front of him. My guess, you scared the $hit out of him. That sounds like fight or flight mechanism kicked in for him.
As someone who is on the spectrum and dealt with stereotype that comes with it i appreciate what you said and I hope you end up with someone who makes you smile everyday ☮
Alex: He left while I was in the bathroom. Me: _That's rude. Would take me a while to recover._ Alex: And y'know ... we had a little kissing session beforehand. Me: _Oh_ _..._ _Good lord_ _..._
I actually asked my current gf if she was on the spectrum when we were just starting to date each other. It was not well received to say the least... But she got over it and now we're happily together and just moved in together. 10/10 would recommend asking girls if they're autistic.
All the bad dates help you work out who the right person is when you meet them. They need to happen so you know how lucky you are when the right person turns up.
while everyone focused on the dating commentary the first game really bothered me because she had mate in 3 with rh8 (in the style of the attack poki learned from hikaru)
Being rejected is 100x better than ghosting. Ghosting is being rejected but you spend a long while wondering if she's ghosting you or if she's just busy and can't answer right now. It also fucks you up for no reason when she's just busy and ends up getting back to you.
@@bruceching4078 she literally missed mate at 0:55 I know I'm new to the chess world and will hold this L if I'm wrong but that's mate if she moved qh5 right?
7:37 for anyone else that might've glossed over that score screen and thought she was out of time or something. :-) PS Nice double-entendre, Belinera. 👍
@@Smulpaap123 Hard disagree, unless you mean we are all on _A_ spectrum. But then that wouldn't mean anything at all. Autism being a spectrum doesn't mean everyone has to be on there. Just like the visible color spectrum is just a tiny fraction of the electromagnet spectrum.
@@mbilbo We're all on the spectrum, but we're not all autistic. It's not completely meaningless because it explains how the spectrum works. Autism would, sort of, be that little part of visible light in the electromagnatic spectrum.
@@Smulpaap123 It is not how _The_ _Spectrum_ (tm) works. The word is colloquial shorthand for 'the autism spectrum' which is clearly defined. Being on it means one has autism. We are all on the spectrum of humanity. But if you use it like that, the term loses its meaning. Then you are talking about a different spectrum without signifying it.
Well, in this line of context, i am 31 and i never got rejected, because i either quit 'on time' or didn't try at all. I am an ex basket player with good physic, but i am also quieter and somehow worried... The result is depression, lack of self confidence and use of alcohol and weed. So my advice is - don't think too much and feel too little. If this starts happening, it's time for change.
You're so funny. And it's really cool that you openly talk about your dating fails. It tells people who'd experience something similar that it's normal, and that fails do happen, even if you're really cool, such as you are for example. ;)
The problem with tinder if you're an unattractive dude is that none of your matches ever even get to the dating stage. So you don't even get the opportunity to have bad dating experiences
@@joelwillis2043 We don't live by natural selection anymore, given that science and medicine allows people who would otherwise die in childhood to live and spread their genes. Evolution isn't determining who's able to spreads their genes, society and access to resources are.
@@joelwillis2043 Natural and sexual selection are the mechanisms by which evolution works. The way evolution "says" people don't deserve sex is through those mechanisms. And my point is that those mechanisms are no longer active among humans, given that societal factors like medicine and unequal access to resources contribute more to selection than any natural phenomenon.
I was the same way, but i took a different approach, attraction is a must at first, but I figured some people are nervous and awkward so if I am attracted and the chemistry is off on the first date, I will give it a second attempt. Just like a restaurant I give the benefit of the doubt sometimes food can be inconsistent that’s how I approach it. I don’t use dating sites anymore, I would rather bump into a woman at a store or out doing things like biking on the path or walking or through friends. Like it was before all this technology.
Take your time and be picky. You are a beautiful person inside and out and do not deserve to waist your time with the wrong guy. It's so true that if there is no chemistry you need to pull the plug in the right way and at the beginning.
Once I matched a girl at tinder and later we figured out, that she is from another country, but we had such a good connection, that our first date was abroad. We bought some plane tickets and met in a third party country. Now we are married.
Cardinal Rule: Never, Ever, discuss your personal dating details while playing chess, or you will be mated when you least expect it. And yes, it will leave you feeling dumbfounded.
Wow. This video was really kinda eye opening for me. I have been ghosted on dating apps many time before. It really hindered my confidence. TBH fear of rejection is hard to overcome and your analogy hit a chord somewhere. Again TBH here now I'm also doing the same thing kind of on Tinder. After watching this I'm feeling bad for the girl. Let me go back and apologize and come through honestly to her rn.
3:05 This is wisdom! Many may have missed it, but it's worth dwelling on (and maybe writing on a card and carrying around): How people treat you reveals more about them than you. (paraphrased)
went on a few tinder dates, got my L’s in, went for it one last time and now i’ve been with the girl i love dearly for almost a year. it’s definitely possible!
He really just left? Shes pretty hot like I really cant imagine a guy actually just bailing unless he was about to cheat on his gf and then decided against it or something
Whoever dumps another in a ghostly fashion is a coward. If you find that someone isn’t your type and your not into them be upfront and tell them you think you guys shouldn’t have another date because you don’t feel you guys have chemistry. It’s THAT simple. Don’t be a dumb egotistical coward
60 minutes, I do not even wait at a restaurant that long let alone by a bathroom on a date. I would assume she wanted nothing to do with me after that long.
Actually girly, being on the spectrum can mean as simple as aspergers which is what i think they were implying... it's more a compliment than you'd think , as we're quite logical thinkers and have high IQs. We also pick up on topics of interest quite easily. You did exactly that in chess, streaming, languages, and just about most things you're interested in, which is probably why people as if you're on the spectrum so often...
no cap it must be hard for her to have relationships when most of the guys she dates are gonna be comparatively really dumb. that's always a big problem for me because i am very dumb so it's awkward for the other person trying to cope with my stupidity.
As someone who is worse at chess and on the spectrum it only works if you put the effort in still. It more of a hyper mono focus. Like if I commit to doing something I don't eat or sleep until it's done and need someone to remind me to do so. As a result I find it easier to not focus on things because it depletes me
Thank you, I learnt a lot about dating from that video, genuinely eye opening and useful... I love the idea of rejection training! "you get the best results when you have dealt with your fear of rejection properly" Alex Botez - dating philosopher
I met this girl at another friend of mine... a girls house. we hang out together and we use to drink get litt and I tried to put the moves so she shut me down. This was when I was on break from uni and I didn't go back home. so for those couple weeks she kept coming by daily almost and I was just doing my thing with the boys and girls and she was awkwardly around me. So then at some point I ghosted her because there's only so much house parties you can throw. When spring came and wether got nice I was always out and about. Few years later we ran in to each other at one of the clubs I frequented back then, so she was like give me your number I was like my phone is dead. Then she tried to take my number of my friend I was like you should write your number on my friends phone I'll get it off him later. And I ghosted her. She was fuming. Why she wanna shut me down and then try to get at me when I'm popping? She use to come around just to get backed I'm convinced.
oh hey dad! god where would we all be without such timeless advice. and that is unacceptable for you that she'd be ok to fool around have fun not worry about spending life w someone every second? godbless
‘Damn, I got ghosted after a make-out session while on the commode, dang that really didn’t make me feel good... rook to E3...”🤣 Alex, I think you’re funny and honest! P.s. being told or asked if you’re on the spectrum is more what I expect from the poker buddies (has happened to me) than the dates, but heck it makes good content!
Sorry, Alex-but, if you're date gets up and leaves you while you are in the bathroom, well, that qualifies as a bad date. You were also quite fortunate he did that. A guy who would do that to a wonderful person like you is beneath you and never deserved to have a first date with you in the first place. Never settle, Alex, dear. You are a good person, who deserves to be with a man who will respect and love you. If I was fortunate enough to be dating you, I'd be terrified of doing anything to hurt or upset you, for fear of angering Hitgirl Andrea, who would most assuredly seek me out for violent retribution on your behalf. I'm 6'5'" 225lbs, but I can still see lil 5" 100lb, Andrea, kicking my butt and televising it on UA-cam for all the world to see. Love you two charming ladies, and I wish you both the very best. Both in your professional and private lives. Need more Flossin and dancing videos from Andrea. Watching her attack any type of dance move is so adorably cute, and a special treat all of us can love. Rock on, angels. Yer the best.😋♟
I think that there are different type of rejections. To be rejected by a random person met on tinder is one thing. But to be rejected by a person you really admires and you honestly want him/her at your side is another thing. That being said, i think you should really try the same. Even when you think it is impossible. (i wonder if i will maintain this opinion in the years)
I think sane, compatible people can be hard to find. I’ve been married for 25 years to an amazing woman, but it wasn’t easy to find. Stand your ground and find a great match. You’re a fun, intelligent person, so I hope you find a worthy man. Don’t give up.
You'll be fine. Even I did great and I'm ugly af. Just always be positive and joyful (but obviously not obnoxiously so). Be passionate when talking to people, laugh at their shit, and be a genuinely good person. You'll find someone in no time of trying. Probably should stay away from tinder though.
Genuine connection is where it's at! I recently got into chess again after watching The Queens Gambit and I've been trying to develop my game. I really enjoy your stream and Hikaru's! They are both insightful and hilarious.
The guy who dumped her in the bathroom actually hid somewhere in her place and is still there
She's just telling that story because she has to be consistent with what she told the cops after he was declared a missing person.
Or he was kidnapped and he is still wondering why Alex didn't call the police to help
@@user-le4bx1jw3f Guys where the fuck do you get these jokes from omfg 🤣💀💀💀💀
Based on that Hide and Seek video they put up I'd buy this.
Plot twist the guy was also in the bathroom and when he came out Alexandra left
I once asked a girl if she was on a spectrum during a date...
We were on our first date and she made a joke about how she blundered Qd5 cause she didn't consider Nc6 Bd7 e5 Nd4.
What a geek
Wait I hope this is a real story. I wish I knew girls who were this into chess and have such good memories
@@Neonb88 it’s a joke.. did you watch the video?
Please, can you tell me what „being on the spectrum“ means. Does it mean. someone‘s autistic, cause that’s the only thing I find in the internet...
@@praefectusdepraetorio8480 autism is a spectrum
I LiKe YoUr FuNNy WoRdS *MaGIc MaN* !
I went on a tinder date and we were at her house. She locked herself on the bathroom for a long time and I really needed to go to the bathroom. So I was embarrassed and almost shitting my pants so I left. Also I think she was on the spectrum.
The important question is whether you managed to find bathroom in time.
we're all on the spectrum. if you're not, it's only because you haven't spent enough time with a psychiatrist......
@@phosgene2, that's incorrect.
Is it like Alex's story but with the guy point's of view? If yes, nice one dude
@@phosgene2 bruh just because you’re stupid doesn’t mean you’re on the spectrum.
Alex’s perspective on rejection being healthy for your psyche is actually really insightful. People who fear rejection actually need to experience it so they can grow.
Wholesome comment ❤️
@@BotezLive yeah. You are pretty healthy in that aspect. And talking about this things that happened to you is proof of that. Im pretty sure that more of one took some notes for improvement.
I dont think that tinder is a good place in general, but you are doing well so far.
Yeah that's true that's all I needed to enlighten myself 😭❤️
Ignoring the fact that statments of such general articulation are by default inaccurate.
Being able to handle rejection properly necessitates a healthy psyche, and depending on the kind of fear of rejection, the rejection is more likely to be further detremental to the individual than to actually facilitate growth.
Obviously being rejected is a part of the human experience and being able to handle it is necessary to become a more whole person. However a fear of rejection is rarely rooted in the inability to understand that fact( in fact people who don't seem to understand that fact rarely fear rejection because they don't grasp the concept of being rejected), but actually being too aware of that fact, and making up all the reasons in their head for why they could be rejected, which actually facilitate the fear in the first place. Those people are utterly insecure and further rejection only furthers the insecurities and is actually detremental to those people.
I personally never had a problem with rejection. Please reject me if you don't like me. Wouldn't want to be with someone that would pass up someone as great as me.
Not trying to be an egomaniac, but this is the way I love myself.
She got dumped while taking a dump
J Villa g she didnt Go to the bathroom for that my man
@@timh115 🤣
Taking .... 🤣🤣🤣🤣
poor guy heard a couple "prrrrrrt" and could not handle it. cant blame him.
@@alexad7570 😂😂😂
I Love how one Guy in the Chat Just wrote: "Botez Gambit declined"
Someone said "Botez Gambit", I didn't see "declined". Alex had mate in 16 if she took the queen, but she was too intent on checking every move. Checking with the bishop dropped her to -7.7, then the unforced hanging mate in one. Weirdly, bd7 was the best move, attacking the queen and blocking the check from the rook.
A date asking if you're on the spectrum is one of the funniest things I've heard haha
Wat is spectrum?
@@ashbafna123 song by florence and the machine
Us autistic people just prefer if you ask us if we're autistic. When people say special abilities it also makes us feel uncomfortable becuase most of us are just normal, only 10% of us are savants.
Can someone explain please what the heck being on the spectrum means
@@negin1812 autistic spectrum
what actually happened: he was autistic and was just looking to connect to a fellow aspie
I was just thinking that could be it.
But if that was the case he could've said he was on the spectrum first.
@@KabooM1067 he wudnt know the appropriate thing to followup so he just left, sounds rational for the autistic minded but still incredibly rude :x
As a teacher who has taught kids on the spectrum for about 15 years, I can tell you that higher functioning kids with autism tend to gravitate toward chess. The step by step nature appeals to the analytical nature of the brain with autism. Also, there is a decent chance that HE was on the spectrum and was looking for common ground. Just a thought.
I'm not on the spectrum(as far as I know cus I'm not the most normal guy either) but I got a friend who's autistic and he got into chess but has this problem where he really hates losing and unfortunately it kinda ruined chess for him. I wanna get him back into it sometime in the future. He refuses to play me out of fear I'll beat him and I'm barely 900 elo on a good day lol, so yh just a semi related story
Good point about him looking for common ground.
yes because one thing autist like more then annything els and that is set ritms because it keeps them calm and chess is very much set in that.
@@gaminikokawalage7124 You are definitely on the spectrum lol
ngl i'm suspecting Alex is actually on the spectrum. Andrea has said she thinks Alex is really weird, has joked that Alex doesn't have many friends, Alex herself explained her feelings towards dating culture in this video which make it sound like she's demisexual, which is more common for people on the spectrum. Andrea also appears to have ADHD, which would make the odds of Alex not being neurotypical higher. Also, there has been some talk about one of them wanting to bite arms, and that's a known neurodivergent thing
Subscribed for chess content, stayed for Alexandra's horrible romantic life
Nobody :
My brain : " He asked me if i was on a speedrun
Literally same haha
Don't worry because same
You go my guy, speedrun away
Dudu du du.
Honestly Alex, thank you for talking us so openly through those experiences. As someone who ended recently a long relationship, has extremely limited experience with dating apps and has been advised by all his best friends (boys and girls alike) to get on some dating app, I feel pretty uncomfortable about making that step and that kinda stories make me feel better about it.
Ohhh it's so tough on dating scene while being hetero woman. Ohh the pain. Fuck off.
When you’re so good at chess you’re clapping while enlightening people about dating life
if taken out of context, this sounds extremely weird
botez gambit in first game against a 1000 player though lol
@@Wrtvrxgvcf55 She sacrifices her queen I bet
lost vs a 1000 lol
it was actually mate in 3 after her opponent played Qd6 in the first game
“Rejection is like the muscle and you have to train it” if that’s the case then I’m gonna be buff in no time
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Plot twist: That guy went to buy a condom at a convenient store, went back, Alex already locked the door.
Sadge
Sadge
or He went to his car to get one or went out of a smoke but she locked the door and went to her room and didnt' hear him knocking
@@dustovshio also apparently he lost his phone, right? xD
“He left while I was in the bathroom”. Super bright, attractive lady in front of him. My guess, you scared the $hit out of him. That sounds like fight or flight mechanism kicked in for him.
Why do you automatically assume he got scared or just because shes pretty thats enough. Maybe she's horrible date, you don't know. Don't simp.
16 min in the bathroom?? jezzz
Probably he thought: "I'm not going to be the one being dumped today"...xD
16 minutes?? Maybe he was providing her some "smell intimacy" so she could open the door
Hey if someone spends 16 mins in the bathroom *something* is definitely getting dumped.
@@BobfromSydney LOL
really guys c'mon guys she was "freshening" up so they could band, have you guys never had a tindr experience?
@@analuizafelixdesouza6336 Can you explain the joke, please?
As someone who is on the spectrum and dealt with stereotype that comes with it i appreciate what you said and I hope you end up with someone who makes you smile everyday ☮
❤️❤️❤️
@@BotezLive "a" spectrum or "thee" spectrum. (i am hoping there are several silly spectrums)
Is this something a doctor diagnoses?
@@woodstream6137 Normally, anything else is guesswork. Same for any other issues like depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar, etc.
Same/similar here. I wondered for decades what the problem was. 😐
Alex: He left while I was in the bathroom.
Me: _That's rude. Would take me a while to recover._
Alex: And y'know ... we had a little kissing session beforehand.
Me: _Oh_ _..._ _Good lord_ _..._
And it was the second date...yikes
"kissing"
yep, one would think that you ask people to your place for 3rd date
"kissing session beforehand" and he left anyway?? Probably for the best then but I would be willing to help Alex improve her kissing ability.
Important question. "Did eat fish for dinner?
I actually asked my current gf if she was on the spectrum when we were just starting to date each other. It was not well received to say the least... But she got over it and now we're happily together and just moved in together. 10/10 would recommend asking girls if they're autistic.
On one hand, Alex would be a great mom for her patience with Andrea.
On the other hand, Andrea
Andrea is a Tigger. Alexandra is a Kanga.
All the bad dates help you work out who the right person is when you meet them. They need to happen so you know how lucky you are when the right person turns up.
If he thought that's smooth talk, maybe he's on the spectrum
wrong time m8
@@ish4638 Nope right time. Mate*
Best timing, #
@@FrostytheWicked there's never a right time to be ableist.
@@ish4638 I mean asking if someone is on the spectrum isn't ablelist but ight.
while everyone focused on the dating commentary the first game really bothered me because she had mate in 3 with rh8 (in the style of the attack poki learned from hikaru)
I noticed that too and this is why we're single
total spectrum commentary.
@@chinmeysway lmao
@@jacobbailey5498 ha, I kid. Not a fan of that old school spectrum stuff! The DSM / hans asperger is the real joke imo
That comparison between knowing where to place your pieces and committing to a person at 5:25 is genius 😂😂🙌
Sie hat ja auch das Patent A,B,C & die 6! :D beste Grüße!
@@xboxtest4226 christliche Schachspieler sind mir heilig, Grüße zurück mien Jung!
Dating is like chess. Make the non-committal moves first and leave the options open until you realize it's the correct plan... then go in for the kill
and then they mate you, like in the video
@@nykomedes Alex got mated, he slipped it in when she was not paying attention and boom, he was done.
The title just made me gasp
RIP Botez, Sadly I havent been able to connect with a person sadly but like that one saying in spanish " its better to be alone than with bad company"
I liked "His wife must have called " twitch chat comment :D
Whoever is editing this, great job. Adding content onto the video but not being obnoxious with the edits isnt easy, you did it very well
0:36 excellent Destiny impression right there
Being rejected is 100x better than ghosting.
Ghosting is being rejected but you spend a long while wondering if she's ghosting you or if she's just busy and can't answer right now. It also fucks you up for no reason when she's just busy and ends up getting back to you.
0:23 you'd have better chemistry with Rh8 and mate in two.
This kind of honesty is the most refreshing thing I've heard in a while. Respect.
I'm only moderately interested in chess, but these girls got me subbed anyway. Very entertaining content. Wholesome, funny and genuine.
Guys on dating apps get rejected 24/7 lol
@John Dew I think you mean upper 3 percent or the 97th percentile. the "upper 97 percentile" mean just above the 3 percent at the bottom.
11:15 hurts. More than beeing left in the bathroom.
Should have played Ne2
It hurt a lot. It was won anyway, but it still was painful.
bro she missed mate in 3 at 0:18
@@aaronbierman340 Did she? I see a threatening situation there, but not mate in three. Could you explain?
@@bruceching4078 she literally missed mate at 0:55 I know I'm new to the chess world and will hold this L if I'm wrong but that's mate if she moved qh5 right?
what the hell
...
How can anyone reject such a beautiful, super funny and nice girl
no idea
Jesus Christ when you got mated I almost laughed my way into outer space
Lol I can’t believe it happened. Was so distracted
@@BotezLive Reliving some seriously harsh moments
@@BotezLive Very, you had some good moves you missed.
7:37 for anyone else that might've glossed over that score screen and thought she was out of time or something. :-)
PS Nice double-entendre, Belinera. 👍
2:10 "papa botez kidnapped probably" LMAO
That moment when you get dumped while taking a dump: **suffering from success**
How can anyone ditch or leave you i m shocked !! But how positive you are it show how strong you are from inside !! By the way just subscribed you !!
Guys often put too much pression on them thinking they need to perform in bed.
Or maybe, he was feeling sick
He might have asked if you were on the spectrum because he himself was on the spectrum and looking to connect over it.
Technically we're all on the spectrum, for it is a spectrum.
True
@@Smulpaap123 Hard disagree, unless you mean we are all on _A_ spectrum. But then that wouldn't mean anything at all. Autism being a spectrum doesn't mean everyone has to be on there. Just like the visible color spectrum is just a tiny fraction of the electromagnet spectrum.
@@mbilbo We're all on the spectrum, but we're not all autistic.
It's not completely meaningless because it explains how the spectrum works.
Autism would, sort of, be that little part of visible light in the electromagnatic spectrum.
@@Smulpaap123 It is not how _The_ _Spectrum_ (tm) works. The word is colloquial shorthand for 'the autism spectrum' which is clearly defined. Being on it means one has autism.
We are all on the spectrum of humanity. But if you use it like that, the term loses its meaning. Then you are talking about a different spectrum without signifying it.
Imagine having a legendary 1000 rated account with a 1-0 score against a +2000 rated streamer lol
you get mad props for putting all this out there. it IS a little hilarious and lot entertaining, but it's also very endearing.
Well, in this line of context, i am 31 and i never got rejected, because i either quit 'on time' or didn't try at all. I am an ex basket player with good physic, but i am also quieter and somehow worried... The result is depression, lack of self confidence and use of alcohol and weed. So my advice is - don't think too much and feel too little. If this starts happening, it's time for change.
You're so funny. And it's really cool that you openly talk about your dating fails. It tells people who'd experience something similar that it's normal, and that fails do happen, even if you're really cool, such as you are for example. ;)
this was kind of like a big sister advice and wisdom
appreciate it
The problem with tinder if you're an unattractive dude is that none of your matches ever even get to the dating stage. So you don't even get the opportunity to have bad dating experiences
thats not a problem thats a feature, evolution says you don't deserve sex
Why would a girl swipe on you if even YOU think you’re unattractive
@@joelwillis2043 We don't live by natural selection anymore, given that science and medicine allows people who would otherwise die in childhood to live and spread their genes. Evolution isn't determining who's able to spreads their genes, society and access to resources are.
@@Jonmad17 I said evolution, not natural selection. You should probably educate yourself before spouting nonsense.
@@joelwillis2043 Natural and sexual selection are the mechanisms by which evolution works. The way evolution "says" people don't deserve sex is through those mechanisms. And my point is that those mechanisms are no longer active among humans, given that societal factors like medicine and unequal access to resources contribute more to selection than any natural phenomenon.
I was the same way, but i took a different approach, attraction is a must at first, but I figured some people are nervous and awkward so if I am attracted and the chemistry is off on the first date, I will give it a second attempt. Just like a restaurant I give the benefit of the doubt sometimes food can be inconsistent that’s how I approach it. I don’t use dating sites anymore, I would rather bump into a woman at a store or out doing things like biking on the path or walking or through friends. Like it was before all this technology.
Abruptly left when you were in the bathroom, probably into guys? Sounds like Schlatt.
AHAHAHAHHAHA
Take your time and be picky. You are a beautiful person inside and out and do not deserve to waist your time with the wrong guy. It's so true that if there is no chemistry you need to pull the plug in the right way and at the beginning.
16 minutes in the toilet? What did you eat? Tacos with chilli? And surprised he left? He added 2 to 2....
Raisins always give me gas.
Once I matched a girl at tinder and later we figured out, that she is from another country, but we had such a good connection, that our first date was abroad. We bought some plane tickets and met in a third party country. Now we are married.
Cardinal Rule: Never, Ever, discuss your personal dating details while playing chess, or you will be mated when you least expect it. And yes, it will leave you feeling dumbfounded.
It's hilarious how the word "mated" in your comment can have two meanings and both make sense in that sentence.
Wow. This video was really kinda eye opening for me. I have been ghosted on dating apps many time before. It really hindered my confidence. TBH fear of rejection is hard to overcome and your analogy hit a chord somewhere. Again TBH here now I'm also doing the same thing kind of on Tinder. After watching this I'm feeling bad for the girl. Let me go back and apologize and come through honestly to her rn.
If Alex asks me if I'm on the spectrum with that face, I'm on the spectrum
One big characteristic of ASD is they have problems reading faces correctly which is why I am not "on the spectrum".
3:05 This is wisdom! Many may have missed it, but it's worth dwelling on (and maybe writing on a card and carrying around): How people treat you reveals more about them than you. (paraphrased)
went on a few tinder dates, got my L’s in, went for it one last time and now i’ve been with the girl i love dearly for almost a year. it’s definitely possible!
Respect for the honesty. I wish you the best of luck and that you find someone who loves you for who you are.
can we just talk about how she missed the simplest rook sacrifice mate right at the start
No
@@Rich-AF Yeah, already enough comments about it.
In the first position that appears in the screen 1.Rh8+ K:h8 2.Qh5+ Kg8 3.Qh7++
00:52
Did she miss an obvious checkmate?
That's what dating does to you lol xD
It isn't checkmate it's black turn to move and he moves the f pawn to make room for his king, so it isn't checkmate.
It was black's turn and he probably played f6
Aaahh okay.... Now it makes sense
Thanks!
@@Kunal-tj1dt haha😂
That dude is 50 moves ahead of her and she didn't even know it.
Maybe HE was on the spectrum and he just wanted to connect with you in a unique way? o_O
Awww😢😢😢i feel so sad listening to you have such bad and awkward dates. Girl, you def deserve better! My heart is going out to you. ❤
"Keep aiming high" --> get sponsored by the app that is responsible for her L's #bossmoves
keep your friends close, and you enemies closer
The Botez sisters being sponsored by Tinder has the same energy as Charlie being sponsored by Adam and Eve.
He really just left? Shes pretty hot like I really cant imagine a guy actually just bailing unless he was about to cheat on his gf and then decided against it or something
Like she says, it's not a reflection on her, but on what kind of garbage he behaved like
just watch the video, she later found out he was gay.
@@ferlou2373 OK, did he think she was a guy?
love your honesty and world view. Don't lose it ever trying to be cool.
Awww Alex talking about the kissing session was so cute
“I don’t think I’m a bad kisser 🥺👉👈😓”
"Let's find out" - me
Imagine walking out on date with Alexandria Botez 🤦♂️ at the very least get a game in.
Whoever dumps another in a ghostly fashion is a coward. If you find that someone isn’t your type and your not into them be upfront and tell them you think you guys shouldn’t have another date because you don’t feel you guys have chemistry. It’s THAT simple. Don’t be a dumb egotistical coward
2:05 I never seen that ,Miss Botez Blushing Looks so cute XD
2:30 I met my wife on Tinder, just had our 5th wedding anniversary last Month.
People ask if I'm on the spectrum all the time. The answer is yes, but I'm still insulted
meh its just the DSM, a terrible read usually. dont gotta take old man hans asperger to heart i always say!
Love seeing the missed checkmate in the first minute
So, wait, you were in the bathroom for 60 minutes and you wonder why he left? I'm confused.
60 minutes, I do not even wait at a restaurant that long let alone by a bathroom on a date. I would assume she wanted nothing to do with me after that long.
She was hiding until his Uber came.
0:19 in this position she had forced mate in 3. 1.Rh8+ Kxh8 2.Qh5+ Kg8 3.Qh7#
Actually girly, being on the spectrum can mean as simple as aspergers which is what i think they were implying... it's more a compliment than you'd think , as we're quite logical thinkers and have high IQs. We also pick up on topics of interest quite easily. You did exactly that in chess, streaming, languages, and just about most things you're interested in, which is probably why people as if you're on the spectrum so often...
She's probably a bit on the spectrum which doesn't matter at all but I don't think she has aspergers? Could be wrong
no cap it must be hard for her to have relationships when most of the guys she dates are gonna be comparatively really dumb. that's always a big problem for me because i am very dumb so it's awkward for the other person trying to cope with my stupidity.
Imagine him watching this video...
As someone who is worse at chess and on the spectrum it only works if you put the effort in still. It more of a hyper mono focus. Like if I commit to doing something I don't eat or sleep until it's done and need someone to remind me to do so. As a result I find it easier to not focus on things because it depletes me
She is such a dork 😂 ... Power to u !!
LMAO... your attitude towards rejection and your comedic willpower to get on that horse right after is fucking awesome.
Thank you, I learnt a lot about dating from that video, genuinely eye opening and useful... I love the idea of rejection training! "you get the best results when you have dealt with your fear of rejection properly" Alex Botez - dating philosopher
I met this girl at another friend of mine... a girls house. we hang out together and we use to drink get litt and I tried to put the moves so she shut me down. This was when I was on break from uni and I didn't go back home. so for those couple weeks she kept coming by daily almost and I was just doing my thing with the boys and girls and she was awkwardly around me. So then at some point I ghosted her because there's only so much house parties you can throw. When spring came and wether got nice I was always out and about. Few years later we ran in to each other at one of the clubs I frequented back then, so she was like give me your number I was like my phone is dead. Then she tried to take my number of my friend I was like you should write your number on my friends phone I'll get it off him later. And I ghosted her. She was fuming. Why she wanna shut me down and then try to get at me when I'm popping? She use to come around just to get backed I'm convinced.
11:15 she could’ve forked
Yeah. Ne2.
I highly doubt that you can find someone that you can spend your life with from tinder. People go on tinder to fool around / have fun.
oh hey dad! god where would we all be without such timeless advice. and that is unacceptable for you that she'd be ok to fool around have fun not worry about spending life w someone every second? godbless
‘Damn, I got ghosted after a make-out session while on the commode, dang that really didn’t make me feel good... rook to E3...”🤣
Alex, I think you’re funny and honest!
P.s. being told or asked if you’re on the spectrum is more what I expect from the poker buddies (has happened to me) than the dates, but heck it makes good content!
Sorry, Alex-but, if you're date gets up and leaves you while you are in the bathroom, well, that qualifies as a bad date. You were also quite fortunate he did that. A guy who would do that to a wonderful person like you is beneath you and never deserved to have a first date with you in the first place. Never settle, Alex, dear. You are a good person, who deserves to be with a man who will respect and love you. If I was fortunate enough to be dating you, I'd be terrified of doing anything to hurt or upset you, for fear of angering Hitgirl Andrea, who would most assuredly seek me out for violent retribution on your behalf. I'm 6'5'" 225lbs, but I can still see lil 5" 100lb, Andrea, kicking my butt and televising it on UA-cam for all the world to see. Love you two charming ladies, and I wish you both the very best. Both in your professional and private lives. Need more Flossin and dancing videos from Andrea. Watching her attack any type of dance move is so adorably cute, and a special treat all of us can love. Rock on, angels. Yer the best.😋♟
When a guys leaves while you're in the bathroom, it's not about time: it's about one or two of the human senses.
Girls aren't supposed to smell like that.
Only 3 of the 8 senses though
I don't get it
Not if it took an hour for uber to get to that neighborhood
I think that there are different type of rejections. To be rejected by a random person met on tinder is one thing. But to be rejected by a person you really admires and you honestly want him/her at your side is another thing.
That being said, i think you should really try the same. Even when you think it is impossible. (i wonder if i will maintain this opinion in the years)
I’m thinking twice about dating now lol
I think sane, compatible people can be hard to find. I’ve been married for 25 years to an amazing woman, but it wasn’t easy to find. Stand your ground and find a great match. You’re a fun, intelligent person, so I hope you find a worthy man. Don’t give up.
it's hard to imagine someone as gorgeous and talented as you having bad luck in dating alex, it makes me feel like i have no hope at all lmao
You'll be fine. Even I did great and I'm ugly af. Just always be positive and joyful (but obviously not obnoxiously so). Be passionate when talking to people, laugh at their shit, and be a genuinely good person. You'll find someone in no time of trying. Probably should stay away from tinder though.
@@joshurlay Well...I hope you are right.😅
Genuine connection is where it's at! I recently got into chess again after watching The Queens Gambit and I've been trying to develop my game. I really enjoy your stream and Hikaru's! They are both insightful and hilarious.
"No. Please don't. I mean it's too soon. It's too soon, Hikaru. We didn't even reached the climax" 😂😂😂 That reaction just made me come and follow you.
Let's go on a date. You can tell everyone we met on UA-cam :)
Challenge accepted :)
I hate when my date asks me if I have the ‘tism