Wouldn't be a video without at least one screw-up. I meant Chris Tucker, not Chris Rock. For whatever reason, I wrote it down wrong in the script and didn't catch myself when I was recording. My bad. And yes, I know Tom Baker was in this. It was just one of many things I didn't get around to addressing. You may be able to tell, but I’ve been quite ill over the past week while trying to get this video done, which is why I look a bit rough! I was also intending to use more appropriately-themed music, but I didn’t manage to decide on any, so resorted to my usual background loop. Hope you enjoy it regardless! Big thanks once again to all my lovely Patrons and Channel Members. If you like my videos, consider becoming a Patron or Channel Member yourself: www.patreon.com/CynicalReviews ua-cam.com/channels/1DCPS2j-o0bvfIilkc8RSw.htmljoin $20 - Definitely Not A Furry Michael Lowe - $100! $10 - Probably Not A Furry Boring AF Brian Christensen Chewzilla Raddels Scottish Twolves Fan $5 - Active Homosexuloid Anna Marta Batog Avery Swanson Fona AL-mansour Francisco J. Fritz Konnor Johnson Michael Evans $5- Channel Members Boring AF Bryan James Moore KrashandBurn Ray Slocumb William Morrison $2 - Proven Homosexuloid Carolin Tomczak Carsten Krogh-Simonsen DaLoveDocta69AllDay Dorron Hopeman Fithen Gulferamus Henry Joakim Myhre Lee Stewart Maff Gibson Martha W Matthew McKenzie Michael Barnes Muki Raven’s Cry William Hornstra Woad Warrior Art Zoraprincess91 $1 - Homosexuloid Carla Hoffman Carol-ann Teasdale Clarissa Wee Daemonumcamo Dawid Gołosz Georgina Smith Luke Swales Munchman Myuu chu Nicki Purnell Pan Manis Philip Emmerson Takayo Susukida Wayne Bawden Winters
Cynical Reviews I remember when watching this..... 20 years ago.... that I thought the best ending for this movie would have been to cut to a modern day dining room with a group of people playing d&d
I don't know if you know anything about Magic the Gathering but WOTC just printed a Magic Card called Calix that looks just like Jeremy Irons. It has come full circle
DnD fans claimed that only a hardcore DnD fan would be able to do justice to a movie based on the franchise. Be careful what you wish for, this movie was directed by a hardcore DnD fan and is awful. Conversely, the sequel Wrath of the Dragon God is done by an actual director who may or may not have known anything about DnD when he started, and is a million times better. That perky-breast elf armor is wtf.
It’s all fun and games until THE PALADINS OF SPACE WIZARD JESUS CHARGE THROUGH THE WALLS THROWING HOLY HAND GRENADES FROM THE BACKS OF HALF-DRAGON GREATER BASILISKS, DEUS VULT INFIDEL, ROLL INITIATIVE! *every single Paladin fails animal handling* Uh... Uhh... AND THEY ALL CHARGE OFF THE REAR BALCONY! YOU HEAR IN THE DISTANCE AS THEY FALL: ‘DEUS VULTTTTTT!!!!’
Can we all just take a moment to appreciate the rug trap? Someone clearly described the smothering rug from d and d (a living carpet that wraps around trespassers and... Well smothers them) and the special effects guys either decided it was too difficult or too expensive. So what can we do instead? Well..... I guess I could fill of four foot deep hole with porridge. Wait for it to get cold and then paint a detailed rug design on the skin.... I have to believe I am not the only dm who used the porridge rug trap after seeing this.
I actually did, in fact, use the porridge rug trap on my players. A series of bad rolls made it far more dangerous, and hilarious, than I had initially intended.
Dude this movie is actually pretty funny if you picture a group of people playing this adventure. Like when Ridley somehow deciphered the map. The player playing him probably put some points in "decipher script" and probably rolled a nat 20 on the attempt. If you imagine that this adventure is actually a game and the actors' performances are actually the performances of the people sitting around the table, this comedy actually seems like a loving tribute to D&D and on that level I think it's pretty good.
Agreed. I would also add to this notion that it is the group and DM's first campaign. The empress and Profion clashing tones are clearly the DM trying to make distinct characters but going too far one way and another. The DM clearly likes playing villains and Hamming it up. Also the whole part where the Ridley and snails have to infiltrate Blue Lips's Castle without the dwarf or Elf was the DM's in-game explanation for the players missing that session.
Reminds me of the story with Sir Michael Caine and Jaws 4. He was once asked about how he ended up starring in this shitty movie in an interview. He replied: "I have actually never seen that movie. But do you know what I see every day? The nice house I managed to pay off,with the money for it."
Jeremy Irons isn’t just chewing the scenery. He’s mashing it into little bits with a Ginsu, fricaseeing it, swallowing it, and crapping it out. Hey at least he looks like he’s having fun with it.
I don't think so, there's a shot where he walks away (toward camera so you can still see his face) and he looks like he just wants to get this over with.
If I remember correctly, Roger Ebert said that Jeremy Irons looked like he was at least having as much fun in this as he was in his sex scenes in Damage. If only we could all be so lucky at least once in a lifetime.
Bad as it may be, I love this movie. Thora Birch was such a dead weight in every scene that Jeremy Irons decided to act enough for the both of them. This movie is amazing.
This movie was relentlessly mocked by critics for literally everything. Quite unfairly in many cases. For example one of the most common complaints was that the decoration of skulls and bones look like cheap fake paper mache halloween decoration. Well,those are in fact centuries old structures made out of real human bones, ossuary in Sedlec, world heritage site.
4:12 "Snails is what happens when you make _everything_ your dump stat." Snails is the human incarnation of Jar-Jar Binks. Go on, try to convince me otherwise. At least he gets himself killed off, which Jar-Jar never managed to, more is the pity. And Snails did not enable a Sithlord to become Emperor. So that's a point in his favour.
Jar Jar literally had one job, and that was to vote against Palpatine while Padme was away. Instead he gave a speech recommending voting for him. Maybe the sith mind trick stuff was still in play there, but there's also the factor of why trust Jar Jar to handle that anyway...
More reason to love Jeremy Irons. He did this film to pay for his castle in Cork. I'm gonna take a road trip one day and pay my respects to that pink castle.
just looked it up. There's an article in vanity fair with tons of photos of the interior. I ripped it all up for reference (I'm an illustrator). That shit's amazing. I especially love the carpentry in the master bedroom.
@@scottgaultney Even funnier when you google Jeremy Irons Castle and this pops up: What Castle does Jeremy Irons own? Image result for jeremy irons castle Kilcoe Castle In the midst of a creative crisis, the British actor impulsively purchased Kilcoe Castle, a long-abandoned fortress near the water. Empahize the midst of a creative crisis part lol
Thora Burch was chosen as her similar looks to the Childlike Empress in the first neverending story. That was my belief the moment I saw it in the theaters. Yes. I am that old
CJ: How could she lose in this situation? She's got an army of dragons! They have a couple mages with fireball and some scorpions! JoCat: what's your point person within fireball distance?
DM: why is your wizards spell slots nothing but fire ball? Player: just preparing for the adventure. DM: changes big threat from dragons to fire elementals
The way they could have saved this was very subtle musical cues like dice rolling during major actions, and then at the end pulling back from the world to reveal it was a bunch of teenagers in a basement playing an adventure and their silly In Character roleplaying is why the characters were so flat, unlikable, or bizarre. Of course, then you'd need to have the teen actors give believable performances as D&D nerds for the last few minutes of the film. Edit: Jeremy Irons clearly needs to be the DM of said game.
@@liesureleeminis8268 Won't lie, it has Highschool stage show production values and Abit of a slow start. But it's really funny, and very much D&D, especially when the players do outlandish things.
Goblin rogue, Kobold Rogue, and yes a kender rogue walk into a tavern. Goblin tries to put whoopee cushions under every patron who stands up to order from the barmaids. Kobold puts a trip wire at the front door. Kender laughs at the aftermath while making a killing with picking pockets. The all rogue party has begun. Cn, Cn, Cg.
The behind the scenes stuff on this flick is pretty interesting. The original FX company stole the cash and ran, delivering hardly any footage. This meant a few key scenes never got finished, and the rest were done on the cheap. Not going to say the film would have been GOOD with this script, but at least it might have been coherent.
@@_V.Va_ And we now know this movie sucks because science! All kidding aside, it's one of my fondest memories of a bad movie. There used to be a cheesy review by two French dudes in English, long before the Nostalgia Critic even did it, and it was my first UA-cam repeat viewing.
Much like Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face in Batman Forever, you could tell Jeremy Irons realised what kind of movie they were making and said "Ah well, might as well have fun with it!"
1. I cheered when Snails died in the theater. 2. Despite this, Snails making fun of Damodar when he's in his room, "I'm DAMODAR!" is the funniest line in the film. It's like the movie being self-aware for just a moment. 3. The best characters were the ones who just hammed it up, i.e. Profion and Silas. 4. One of my friends made the, "give me the rod!" joke as we left the theater. How the writers didn't see that coming, I've no idea.
THIS GUY (Justin Whalin) WAS THE VICE PRINCIPLE OF MY MIDDLE SCHOOL. HOLY FCK; Seeing his face after so many years in a place I least expected is haunting. I am losing it
I feel like Jeremy Irons KNEW this movie was going to be trash so he just went full scenery chewing mode to try to salvage SOMETHING from the experience.
Williams: "But what are your qualifications?" James Cameron: "Well, I directed the good Terminator movies, made the first Star Wars movies good with only last minute editing and sound design, turned a tech demo into the highest grossing movie of all time, and made an anime movie that wasn't absolute garbage." Williams: "Hmm, Nah, I think we should hire a person who has never directed a movie, nor has any interest in directing, direct this movie."
@@jonathancampbell5231 It's important to note that she also seemed to despise Dungeons and Dragons, and it's players, and probably would have completely canned D&D so she could sell Buck Rogers products, if not for the fact that D&D was still very profitable until the end of TSR's lifespan in spite of her incompetence.
Jeremy Irons is pure gold in this film, he is just hamming it up, and chewing the scenery to such an extent he is clearly having a blast not giving any fucks.
On Jeremy Iron's performance: I once read in a magazine (showing you how old this movie is, when my primary source of info on Fantasy/Sci-Fi movies was actually in print), that his performance was so hammy that he was 'Chewing the scenery whole, and crapping out Kodak" ^_^ Also, although I'm guessing this 'oversight' may have been intentional, just in case: The actor who played the leader of the Thieves Guild is also known, among us older nerds, for playing 'Riff Raff', the assistant to 'Dr. Frank N. Furter' in "Rocky Horror Picture Show" ^_^
Fun fact: Bruce Payne (Damodar) was considered for Batman in Batman '89 purely because of his name as they wanted to market it as "Bruce Payne is Bruce Wayne"
Dungeons & Dragons I loved Irons playing the role of Profion I'm pretty sure he *Knew* it was going to be a crap movie and went with it hamming it up and it worked the sign of a truly great actor. And I liked the Tom Baker as Halvarth the Elf he truly played the wise old elven elder. But the rest your dead on.
Y'know, if I were in the director's place, I'd much rather be known for making a hilariously bad movie than making a boring, forgettable one and immediately fading into obscurity. (Also, I now want to drop the phrase "grinning like a murder hobo" into everyday conversation whenever possible.)
"Ive never seen an actor naked more times than him " Not even Eva green? I've seen her naked on film so often, I reckon she is just a nudist... I legit wonder if there is any non-adult actress who has more screen time with her t*ts out than her...
@@der_benson4478 To be honest now you mention it she has probably gone nude more, Jeremy Irons has just slapped me across the face with it more times from what ive watched.
James Cameron after T2: no qualifications to speak of. Some random dude that's never directed a thing: perfect candidate! Are we sure that wasn't a disguised Kathleen Kennedy. . . ?
If anyone else would have said that they had no idea about James Cameron's qualifications even at that time, I would assume they were taking the piss. But Lorraine Williams, I totally buy that she was that unaware. Now maybe if he had directed a Buck Rogers movie...
These past 10 years we've been blessed with top notch production design in fantasy and sci-fi movies, but it was far from the norm at the time this movie came out. We always remember the great movies, we forget all about the stinkers. Also, it's surprising how good framing can sell a cheap looking set. And good storytelling and acting can make us overlook lackluster special effects. Even in Iconic movies like the lord of the Rings, there are some bad special effect shots, but we don't care because the rest is great. Even the music: the scene in the cantina in star wars had some cheap ass masks and costumes, but the music sold a whimsical mood that made it work somehow. When the movie's old enough it even adds to the charm.
The unintentional hilarity in this film is some of the best this moose has ever seen. If he didn't know better, this moose might have thought this was a SNL parody.
@Frizzurd At least wasn't anti-regulation Reagan propaganda like the original movies, and treat a serious matter like nuclear weapons regulations like joke, maybe be funnier when you are a kid, but when you become an adult and understand the context behind the original Ghostbuster movies, they really treated Back badly because he was actually right all along.
@Frizzurd You were a child, like I was, you didnt understand the context behind the jokes, of course that you weren't influenced, but when you are a teenager or an adult, and began to understand the context, you either take the propaganda or reject it, because you already formed your own ideology, what I cant stand is people like Sfdebris, so called Professor, that defend the position of the movies as despicable that they are, only for a sense of nostalgia, only because portrays Beck like a buffoon without actually seeing why he was so worried, the Ghostbuster had a nuclear reactor in the middle of Manhattan that no one supervised, and proton weapons. And that is not a matter of concern?
@Frizzurd The director did, in a interviews, he says how much he loved Reagan policies at the time. Actually in the early twenties and thirties, that how the police was view by the public, idiotic buffoons, that why noire was so popular, in the noire genre everyone was corrupt, everyone was shady, even the Private Detectives. That changed with Dragnet when the TV Networks did deal with the police, in exchange of uniforms, vehicles and access, the networks would show a more positive view of the police that continue to this day. And seeing the continuing popularity of The Boys and web comic Injustice maybe you should rethink how the world see Superman since the Cold War.
@Frizzurd It was Ivan Reitman, he was pretty clear about his beliefs in the interview, he clearly was an anti-regulation, anti-EPA hardcore conservative, he want to call himself a libertarian, but I don't think that the liberty to endanger the lives of your fellow citizens by polluting the air, water and forming a radiation cloud by having a unregulated nuclear reactor is not what freedom means, it seems that he never hear the phrase: "My liberty ends when your begins."
The dragon battle is even dumber then you made it out to be, assuming we're going by established lore. Gold dragons are the most powerful of all dragons and most are extremely powerful mages, so feasibly a single one could have just warded almost every spell that was thrown at it, and an army could silence the entire tower before tearing it to the ground.
At 10:03 Damadar says”Post brigades at every sewer entrance and exit.” Guarding every sewer exit I understand, but wouldn’t the other part of his command mean posting a brigade at everyone’s privy? Everyone would have to go passed a brigade of guards to use the lavatory.
It came out the same year as Fellowship of the Ring. Almost impossible to believe looking at the sfx. But at least it had the great Tom Baker as some old elf fella.
Wait a minute. Princess, who controls dragons, and wants to bring about a society for the common people? This is just Daenerys Targaryen but without anything interesting
I feel like "Dungeons & Dragons" is one of those franchises that cannot be properly portrayed in a movie format. The best way to go about telling a "Dungeons & Dragons"-type story is to use an episodic format...such as a comic book series, or a video game title, or a television show. Best examples I can think of being series like "Goblin-Slayer" (which while it's not "D&D" it has a similar setting & theme) and of course the original "Dungeons & Dragons" cartoon from the 80s.
D&D wasn’t nominated for any Razzie Award, but if it was… • Worst Picture • Worst Director for Courtney Solomon • Worst Actor for Justin Whalin • Worst Supporting Actor for Jeremy Irons • Worst Supporting Actor for Marlon Wayans • Worst Supporting Actress for Thora Birch • Worst Supporting Actress for Zoe McLellan • Worst Screen Couple for Jeremy Irons and either Bruce Payne or his performance full of ham • Worst Screen Ensemble • Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel • Worst Screenplay for Carroll Cartwright and Topper Lilien
OK, I know I am drooling all over these comment sections, but I had to say that I genuinely laughed out loud multiple times watching this. And your DM "Are you sure you want to do that?" brought back many great, yet somewhat traumatic, memories.
I love this movie. I also always thought this movie was parody. Parody on fantasy movies. And because it is parody of course it is absurd and honestly I still think it is hilarious and you can get good laugh of this movie.
13:49 -fun fact, that weird tentacle brain thing in Damadar's head is supposed to be a mind flayer. Yeah... the director thought that just showing an octopus-headed creature mind-controlling him would not have made people understand, so we got... this. Or maybe they wanted to portray ceremorphosis, in which case... WTF? It's not how that works. Nor could wizard cure him... you need a priest for that.
I watched this movie for the first time today with a few friends who recommended it. It was one hour and forty three minutes of pure glory. I have never laughed this hard at *comedy* movies, let alone movies that are supposed to be suspenseful and action packed. My DM in a Discord D&D game suggested watching it, rented it on UA-cam, and we saw nothing but a black screen (UA-cam has some system to prevent you from sharing rented movies). Luckily for me, through some horrific series of events, I happen to have the movie on DVD. I plugged it in, and the moment it started it was laughter and "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" all the way through. The awful CGI, the fucking atrocious dialogue, the way none of the actors gave a shit, the way Jeremy chewed the fucking scenery, *THE FUCKING ENDING.* Horrific perfection all the way through. If you ever get the chance, look at the deleted scenes, they are just as fucking glorious as the rest of the movie. The alternate ending made me simultaneous throw a fit of rage and howl with laughter, *BECAUSE IT WAS THE SUPERIOR ENDING.* And the scene inside the scroll: "The only thing I'm seeking is a way outta here." *"YOU MUST SEEK THE ROD."* I was dying of laughter the whole time. It is the worst movie I have *ever* seen, I rate it 10000/10.
Those reports that people cheered when Snails got killed? Confirmed. Was there, watched in disbelief at this … mess and cheered myself, together with the rest of the audience ...
As much of a disaster this movie may be, it was a huge factor for getting me hooked on D&D (after the Baldur's Gate games) when I was a kid. Still worth a watch every now and then for the nostalgia alone, not to mention the fact that bad movies is best movies.
Wouldn't be a video without at least one screw-up. I meant Chris Tucker, not Chris Rock. For whatever reason, I wrote it down wrong in the script and didn't catch myself when I was recording. My bad.
And yes, I know Tom Baker was in this. It was just one of many things I didn't get around to addressing.
You may be able to tell, but I’ve been quite ill over the past week while trying to get this video done, which is why I look a bit rough! I was also intending to use more appropriately-themed music, but I didn’t manage to decide on any, so resorted to my usual background loop. Hope you enjoy it regardless!
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Cynical Reviews I remember when watching this..... 20 years ago.... that I thought the best ending for this movie would have been to cut to a modern day dining room with a group of people playing d&d
I don't know if you know anything about Magic the Gathering but WOTC just printed a Magic Card called Calix that looks just like Jeremy Irons. It has come full circle
Hope you feel better soon! Your cat is adorable btw
Cynical Reviews you forgot to mention that the Elvin leader is played by the 4th Doctor, Tom Baker.
DnD fans claimed that only a hardcore DnD fan would be able to do justice to a movie based on the franchise. Be careful what you wish for, this movie was directed by a hardcore DnD fan and is awful. Conversely, the sequel Wrath of the Dragon God is done by an actual director who may or may not have known anything about DnD when he started, and is a million times better. That perky-breast elf armor is wtf.
It's ironic, in spite of how massive the these huge dragons teeth are, it's actually Jeremy Irons who ended up chewing the scenery...
He chewed all 6 wonders of the world.
It's like how Oscar-winner Eddie Redmayne chewed the scenery in Jupiter Ascending.
Someone give Jeremy Irons an award and a chiropractor for carrying this film.
We all know Monty Python is the closest thing to how a DnD campaign ACTUALLY pans out
It’s all fun and games until THE PALADINS OF SPACE WIZARD JESUS CHARGE THROUGH THE WALLS THROWING HOLY HAND GRENADES FROM THE BACKS OF HALF-DRAGON GREATER BASILISKS,
DEUS VULT INFIDEL,
ROLL INITIATIVE!
*every single Paladin fails animal handling*
Uh...
Uhh...
AND THEY ALL CHARGE OFF THE REAR BALCONY! YOU HEAR IN THE DISTANCE AS THEY FALL:
‘DEUS VULTTTTTT!!!!’
Well, you're not wrong o.o
Damn, that’s surprisingly accurate
I think Konosuba is pretty close since it literally borrows from D&D.
@The Anti-CHAD D&D was half inspired by the original stories of Conan, so thats make sense
Jeremy Irons is the kinda villain I'd expect from a DM who's chugged half a bottle of vodka
If you need booze to chew scenery as a DM, you have no business being a DM.
We're all secretly supervillains at heart.
No, no, no, vodka is for amateurs.
This DM chugged a toilet duck and paint stripper punch bowl. By themselves.
Can we all just take a moment to appreciate the rug trap?
Someone clearly described the smothering rug from d and d (a living carpet that wraps around trespassers and... Well smothers them) and the special effects guys either decided it was too difficult or too expensive.
So what can we do instead?
Well..... I guess I could fill of four foot deep hole with porridge. Wait for it to get cold and then paint a detailed rug design on the skin....
I have to believe I am not the only dm who used the porridge rug trap after seeing this.
Tbf, I did appreciate the porridge trap.
@@CynicalReviews I also thought a quicksand rug was a good trap.
At least it looked real. 👌
I actually did, in fact, use the porridge rug trap on my players. A series of bad rolls made it far more dangerous, and hilarious, than I had initially intended.
2 years late, but I used it too, very amusing.
Can we all take a minute to appreciate the fact that we got LOTR one year after this
Jeremy Irons knew exactly what kind of movie he was in and what sort of performance was required. Everyone else misses the mark.
You can't fault his enthusiasm.
@@CynicalReviews You gotta respect him for thinking "I know this movie is shit and I'm in it for the money, I might as well have fun with it!"
Same thing that the late Raul Julia did in the 90´s Streetfighter movie.
Jeremy Irons' performance is the only thing that makes this movie even remotely watchable.
@@doublep1980 Or John Phillip Law in Space Mutiny.
Dude this movie is actually pretty funny if you picture a group of people playing this adventure. Like when Ridley somehow deciphered the map. The player playing him probably put some points in "decipher script" and probably rolled a nat 20 on the attempt. If you imagine that this adventure is actually a game and the actors' performances are actually the performances of the people sitting around the table, this comedy actually seems like a loving tribute to D&D and on that level I think it's pretty good.
Agreed. I would also add to this notion that it is the group and DM's first campaign. The empress and Profion clashing tones are clearly the DM trying to make distinct characters but going too far one way and another. The DM clearly likes playing villains and Hamming it up. Also the whole part where the Ridley and snails have to infiltrate Blue Lips's Castle without the dwarf or Elf was the DM's in-game explanation for the players missing that session.
“I’d just bought a castle.” Well if that’s not a good enough excuse, I don’t know what is.
I mean, if I just bought a castle, you'd bet your bottom gold piece I'd want to try my hand at cackling like a supervillain too.
Was there a dungeon beneath it? Because POINTS for that!
If it were me in place of Jeremy Irons: "Eh, I can settle for a condo...."
Reminds me of the story with Sir Michael Caine and Jaws 4.
He was once asked about how he ended up starring in this shitty movie in an interview.
He replied: "I have actually never seen that movie. But do you know what I see every day? The nice house I managed to pay off,with the money for it."
"Please Jeremy. That scenery has a family!"
"NOMNOMNOM I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF ME *CRUSHING IT* NOMNOMNOM!"
*eats power pellet, actors retreat*
that prop was one day away from retirement!
Never let it be said that Jeremy Irons doesn't give it his all... Bless
I agree, Irons gave the best reason for appearing in this film to fund his castle, and his performance is easily the most entertaining as a result! 🏰🤣
I am never disappointed in any of his performances. I love him unconditionally.
i mean he does play the unhinged wizard part pretty well.
Now that's "Chaotic Greatness!"
I love Jeremy Irons and his epic voice. He's a brilliant actor.
Jeremy Irons isn’t just chewing the scenery. He’s mashing it into little bits with a Ginsu, fricaseeing it, swallowing it, and crapping it out. Hey at least he looks like he’s having fun with it.
At least Jeremy Irons looks like he's having fun
Seconded, at least you can give Irons credit for trying to give an entertaining performance, and he knows exactly WHAT kind of film he's in! 😂
I don't think so, there's a shot where he walks away (toward camera so you can still see his face) and he looks like he just wants to get this over with.
Alcohol can make many situations bearable.
If I remember correctly, Roger Ebert said that Jeremy Irons looked like he was at least having as much fun in this as he was in his sex scenes in Damage. If only we could all be so lucky at least once in a lifetime.
I think he knew this movie was gonna blow so he decided to ham it up and let loose.
Bad as it may be, I love this movie. Thora Birch was such a dead weight in every scene that Jeremy Irons decided to act enough for the both of them. This movie is amazing.
This movie was relentlessly mocked by critics for literally everything. Quite unfairly in many cases. For example one of the most common complaints was that the decoration of skulls and bones look like cheap fake paper mache halloween decoration. Well,those are in fact centuries old structures made out of real human bones, ossuary in Sedlec, world heritage site.
This film was inadvertently hilarious. It's the "Room" for fantasy.
Lol yeah I was just about to say this
That's a very fair description.
And SOMEHOW, against all the odds and common sense, it has a sequel. Early 2000s was a beautiful time indeed...
"I didn't crit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. I didn't crit her. I DID NAHT. Oh, hai THACO."
tohao-gamer It has TWO sequels.
One good... One « as » good, and one bad... I mean even worse.
4:12 "Snails is what happens when you make _everything_ your dump stat."
Snails is the human incarnation of Jar-Jar Binks. Go on, try to convince me otherwise. At least he gets himself killed off, which Jar-Jar never managed to, more is the pity. And Snails did not enable a Sithlord to become Emperor. So that's a point in his favour.
Jar Jar literally had one job, and that was to vote against Palpatine while Padme was away. Instead he gave a speech recommending voting for him. Maybe the sith mind trick stuff was still in play there, but there's also the factor of why trust Jar Jar to handle that anyway...
*HOLY SHIT HE IS JAR-JAR!*
More reason to love Jeremy Irons. He did this film to pay for his castle in Cork. I'm gonna take a road trip one day and pay my respects to that pink castle.
just looked it up. There's an article in vanity fair with tons of photos of the interior. I ripped it all up for reference (I'm an illustrator). That shit's amazing. I especially love the carpentry in the master bedroom.
I guess it's true what they say: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then take the proceeds from selling that lemonade and buy a castle.
Jeremy Irons is one of those rare modern-day humans who can say "Fuck you, I'm going to my castle!"
@@scottgaultney Even funnier when you google Jeremy Irons Castle and this pops up:
What Castle does Jeremy Irons own?
Image result for jeremy irons castle
Kilcoe Castle
In the midst of a creative crisis, the British actor impulsively purchased Kilcoe Castle, a long-abandoned fortress near the water.
Empahize the midst of a creative crisis part lol
Thora Burch was chosen as her similar looks to the Childlike Empress in the first neverending story. That was my belief the moment I saw it in the theaters. Yes. I am that old
CJ: How could she lose in this situation? She's got an army of dragons! They have a couple mages with fireball and some scorpions!
JoCat: what's your point person within fireball distance?
.*Chef's kiss* Masterful meme, good sir.
DM: why is your wizards spell slots nothing but fire ball?
Player: just preparing for the adventure.
DM: changes big threat from dragons to fire elementals
@@wert1234576 DMs are assholes
@@wert1234576 Gold Dragons are Immune to fire. Her dragons are golden.
@@Sckazinski and so are red dragons for that matter...
"Hair on her chin you can hang onto."
Not the kind of dwarf tossing talk one normally expects in a tavern.
"Nobody tosses a dwarf... EXCEPT IN COITUS, UH-GUH-GUH!"
@Adamant Forge I laughed far too hard at that. That's brilliant.
The way they could have saved this was very subtle musical cues like dice rolling during major actions, and then at the end pulling back from the world to reveal it was a bunch of teenagers in a basement playing an adventure and their silly In Character roleplaying is why the characters were so flat, unlikable, or bizarre. Of course, then you'd need to have the teen actors give believable performances as D&D nerds for the last few minutes of the film.
Edit: Jeremy Irons clearly needs to be the DM of said game.
Could of worked. Oh wait, We have that already! Check out "THE GAMERS 2: Dorkness Rising", probably one of the best fan-made D&D movies to exist.
@@danielramsey6141 I keep on passing on that when I come across it in Dollar tree, you just decided my purchase
So, basically the Lego Movie but with DND!
@@liesureleeminis8268
Won't lie, it has Highschool stage show production values and Abit of a slow start. But it's really funny, and very much D&D, especially when the players do outlandish things.
@@danielramsey6141 have you seen them too ? ua-cam.com/video/BF5gdvMyuOs/v-deo.html
Lets be honest Jeremy Irons is a good actor.... and he was giving it everything he had and was clearly having fun
"Imagine a Rogue multiclassed with an idiot"... sooo an average Rogue then.
Kender
@@RAFMnBgaming DONT USE THE NAME! IT WILL BRING A CURSE UPON US!!!!
Goblin rogue, Kobold Rogue, and yes a kender rogue walk into a tavern.
Goblin tries to put whoopee cushions under every patron who stands up to order from the barmaids.
Kobold puts a trip wire at the front door.
Kender laughs at the aftermath while making a killing with picking pockets.
The all rogue party has begun.
Cn, Cn, Cg.
@@CallMeCatalin what the hell is a kender rogue? Is kender a race. I don't know, I mostly know 3.5 and base books 4th edition.
@Aether Toast it’s a certain setting’s version of halfling. They’re especially hyper and annoying. And they don’t know fear.
The behind the scenes stuff on this flick is pretty interesting. The original FX company stole the cash and ran, delivering hardly any footage. This meant a few key scenes never got finished, and the rest were done on the cheap. Not going to say the film would have been GOOD with this script, but at least it might have been coherent.
I tested Marina's "I'm not!" on my cat, I can confirm she did NOT like it.
You're a monster...
@@CynicalReviews It's science! Plus, she got treats out of it.
@@Naedrelian Science reveals the truth!
@@_V.Va_ And we now know this movie sucks because science! All kidding aside, it's one of my fondest memories of a bad movie. There used to be a cheesy review by two French dudes in English, long before the Nostalgia Critic even did it, and it was my first UA-cam repeat viewing.
I now complete my journey to hell by stating, "I actually like how she acted that line".
The actor who played Ripley also portrayed Jimmy Olsen on The New Adventures of Lois and Clark. I will always have a soft spot for him (nostalgia).
I love this movie simply because it as a 100% accurate depiction of the average DnD group.
If I DM'd for a group like this, I'd bring about a TPK very quickly.
@@CynicalReviews I'd bring a few bottles of everclear (failing that, paint stripper) myself, but we all have our coping mechanisms I suppose...
@@CynicalReviews I'd just stop scheduling sessions.
In fact, this movie was a 100% accurate depiction of a bad DM trying to describe the scenery to a retarded player group.
Monty python and the holy grail is the best despiction of a dnd group^^
“Then the Empress declared everyone equal”
Yup... definitely how that works
OwO
4:54. Chris Tucker was in The Fifth Element not Chris Rock fyi
Yeah, I did mean to say Chris Tucker, but for some reason I kept thinking of Chris Rock.
Cynical Reviews inadvertent similarity?
@xLttPx All the Chrises? They do radiate some similar energy...
Chris Tucker: Bzzt! Bzzzzzt!
Much like Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face in Batman Forever, you could tell Jeremy Irons realised what kind of movie they were making and said "Ah well, might as well have fun with it!"
1. I cheered when Snails died in the theater.
2. Despite this, Snails making fun of Damodar when he's in his room, "I'm DAMODAR!" is the funniest line in the film. It's like the movie being self-aware for just a moment.
3. The best characters were the ones who just hammed it up, i.e. Profion and Silas.
4. One of my friends made the, "give me the rod!" joke as we left the theater. How the writers didn't see that coming, I've no idea.
So most of the budget was Jeremy Irons paycheck.
Money well spent tbh
Had to be to get an actor of his prestige
Why does the main character look like Denny from The Room?
Oh God, I see it now!
Dude was Jimmy Olsen in the Superman and Lois series!
THIS GUY (Justin Whalin) WAS THE VICE PRINCIPLE OF MY MIDDLE SCHOOL. HOLY FCK; Seeing his face after so many years in a place I least expected is haunting. I am losing it
"WHaT KinD oF DrUgss DenNy!?"
I feel like Jeremy Irons KNEW this movie was going to be trash so he just went full scenery chewing mode to try to salvage SOMETHING from the experience.
“Give me the rod”
*both grunting*
I see they spent their Friday's the same way I do.
Oh good heavens, would you look at the time!
Dirty.
"Imagine a rogue multiclassed with an idiot."
So... A rogue.
;)
Williams: "But what are your qualifications?"
James Cameron: "Well, I directed the good Terminator movies, made the first Star Wars movies good with only last minute editing and sound design, turned a tech demo into the highest grossing movie of all time, and made an anime movie that wasn't absolute garbage."
Williams: "Hmm, Nah, I think we should hire a person who has never directed a movie, nor has any interest in directing, direct this movie."
I forget who the lady is that said this?
@@danielramsey6141 Her name was Lorraine Williams and she was the head of TSR in 1993, the company that published Dungeons and Dragons.
@@jonathancampbell5231 It's important to note that she also seemed to despise Dungeons and Dragons, and it's players, and probably would have completely canned D&D so she could sell Buck Rogers products, if not for the fact that D&D was still very profitable until the end of TSR's lifespan in spite of her incompetence.
@@davidb7406 So we got cheated out of a D&D film directed by James Cameron because of one incompetent, spiteful bitty?
@@ElvenRaptor She was a terrible human being from all reports.
CJ: They run into a dwarf named Elwood...
Me: ...and he's on a mission from God!
His brother: "The band!"
Jeremy Irons is pure gold in this film, he is just hamming it up, and chewing the scenery to such an extent he is clearly having a blast not giving any fucks.
And we all got a series of hilarious laughs 😂
On Jeremy Iron's performance: I once read in a magazine (showing you how old this movie is, when my primary source of info on Fantasy/Sci-Fi movies was actually in print), that his performance was so hammy that he was 'Chewing the scenery whole, and crapping out Kodak" ^_^
Also, although I'm guessing this 'oversight' may have been intentional, just in case: The actor who played the leader of the Thieves Guild is also known, among us older nerds, for playing 'Riff Raff', the assistant to 'Dr. Frank N. Furter' in "Rocky Horror Picture Show" ^_^
The greatest DnD movie of all time. I mean, you've got Jeremy Irons trying to out act his own eyebrows!
Fun fact: Bruce Payne (Damodar) was considered for Batman in Batman '89 purely because of his name as they wanted to market it as "Bruce Payne is Bruce Wayne"
Dungeons & Dragons I loved Irons playing the role of Profion I'm pretty sure he *Knew* it was going to be a crap movie and went with it hamming it up and it worked the sign of a truly great actor. And I liked the Tom Baker as Halvarth the Elf he truly played the wise old elven elder. But the rest your dead on.
Y'know, if I were in the director's place, I'd much rather be known for making a hilariously bad movie than making a boring, forgettable one and immediately fading into obscurity.
(Also, I now want to drop the phrase "grinning like a murder hobo" into everyday conversation whenever possible.)
16:09 Oh damn. They roped in Tom Baker too? Poor guy.
Yep, that's the Elf king, and I just feel sad. Thank God it didn't take long for "Lord of the Rings" to come out and patch up the Fantasy genre.
I thought that was him!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!
In some parallel universe, there exists a version of this movie directed by James Cameron. Oh man, how I would have loved to see that version.
Jeremy Irons was the only good part of the movie, he seemed to know this was going to be a dumpster fire and simply acted like it was a LARP.
What about damador
"i hadn't seen it in almost 20 years"
my dude I thought you were 20 at best
"Tarasque-sized" is my new favourite pharse to describe the size of anything
13:20 Of course he missed stepping on the scroll, they only had the one prop scroll and didn't want to damage it.
I feel like Jeremy Irons will agree to anything. Ive never seen an actor naked more times than him and he is an old man.
*Nicholas Cage has entered the chat*
"Ive never seen an actor naked more times than him " Not even Eva green? I've seen her naked on film so often, I reckon she is just a nudist... I legit wonder if there is any non-adult actress who has more screen time with her t*ts out than her...
@@der_benson4478 To be honest now you mention it she has probably gone nude more, Jeremy Irons has just slapped me across the face with it more times from what ive watched.
@Al Dente I did say he would do anything
"Are you sure you want to do that?"
Ahhhh a question I've been given way too many times with my character who has a -4 intelligence modifier.
Every time I hear Jeremy Irons in this movie, all I hear is Scar from the Lion King as a psychotic sorcerer
😂😂😂
Gotta love the blurry backgrounds whenever CGi is involved
James Cameron after T2: no qualifications to speak of.
Some random dude that's never directed a thing: perfect candidate!
Are we sure that wasn't a disguised Kathleen Kennedy. . . ?
If anyone else would have said that they had no idea about James Cameron's qualifications even at that time, I would assume they were taking the piss. But Lorraine Williams, I totally buy that she was that unaware. Now maybe if he had directed a Buck Rogers movie...
14:51 Holy shit! That castle ruin. It's Rabí castle. My wife lived like 500 meters from it. She never told this gem was shot there.
This movie must have been a money laundering scheme... Otherwise I can't comprehend how cheap it looks.
Incompetence, perhaps.
Why do I keep forgetting that's the main reason for ballooned budgets? Thanks for the reminder.
These past 10 years we've been blessed with top notch production design in fantasy and sci-fi movies, but it was far from the norm at the time this movie came out. We always remember the great movies, we forget all about the stinkers.
Also, it's surprising how good framing can sell a cheap looking set. And good storytelling and acting can make us overlook lackluster special effects.
Even in Iconic movies like the lord of the Rings, there are some bad special effect shots, but we don't care because the rest is great. Even the music: the scene in the cantina in star wars had some cheap ass masks and costumes, but the music sold a whimsical mood that made it work somehow. When the movie's old enough it even adds to the charm.
I suspect a lot of the expenses in film production are fraudulent tbh...
One project among a long list helping to fund nanobots in the air and 5G death towers
The best part of the movie... the Elf King - Tom Baker playing a "Doctor?"
They knew whst they were doing.
Unrelated to the video, but I've just noticed how cool the new thumbnails are. Nice work dude!
My good friend Cynic Snacks has been making them for me. He's great at what he does.
The unintentional hilarity in this film is some of the best this moose has ever seen. If he didn't know better, this moose might have thought this was a SNL parody.
Nah, SLN doesn't understand the concept of comedy, all what they do are milk toast comedies and invite war criminals to their show.
@Frizzurd At least wasn't anti-regulation Reagan propaganda like the original movies, and treat a serious matter like nuclear weapons regulations like joke, maybe be funnier when you are a kid, but when you become an adult and understand the context behind the original Ghostbuster movies, they really treated Back badly because he was actually right all along.
@Frizzurd You were a child, like I was, you didnt understand the context behind the jokes, of course that you weren't influenced, but when you are a teenager or an adult, and began to understand the context, you either take the propaganda or reject it, because you already formed your own ideology, what I cant stand is people like Sfdebris, so called Professor, that defend the position of the movies as despicable that they are, only for a sense of nostalgia, only because portrays Beck like a buffoon without actually seeing why he was so worried, the Ghostbuster had a nuclear reactor in the middle of Manhattan that no one supervised, and proton weapons. And that is not a matter of concern?
@Frizzurd The director did, in a interviews, he says how much he loved Reagan policies at the time. Actually in the early twenties and thirties, that how the police was view by the public, idiotic buffoons, that why noire was so popular, in the noire genre everyone was corrupt, everyone was shady, even the Private Detectives. That changed with Dragnet when the TV Networks did deal with the police, in exchange of uniforms, vehicles and access, the networks would show a more positive view of the police that continue to this day. And seeing the continuing popularity of The Boys and web comic Injustice maybe you should rethink how the world see Superman since the Cold War.
@Frizzurd It was Ivan Reitman, he was pretty clear about his beliefs in the interview, he clearly was an anti-regulation, anti-EPA hardcore conservative, he want to call himself a libertarian, but I don't think that the liberty to endanger the lives of your fellow citizens by polluting the air, water and forming a radiation cloud by having a unregulated nuclear reactor is not what freedom means, it seems that he never hear the phrase: "My liberty ends when your begins."
0:15
So _that's_ where Joseph Anderson got his profile pic from.
Makes sense.
The dragon battle is even dumber then you made it out to be, assuming we're going by established lore. Gold dragons are the most powerful of all dragons and most are extremely powerful mages, so feasibly a single one could have just warded almost every spell that was thrown at it, and an army could silence the entire tower before tearing it to the ground.
Don’t underestimate the power of 20!
U
There are lots of good D&D movies. The trick is that none of them are named D&D. ;)
Same for videogame movies not named after actual videogames.
Like what?
WalterLiddy
There’s this small independent film called fellowship of the ring, Idk it’s really niche so you probably haven’t heard of it
@@WalterLiddy Or The Gamers.
*☼ he didnt just pay for the castle; he used the film budget to renovate it **_"for the shoot"_* . impressive.
“Gib rod, daddy.”
- Blue lipstick guy
Hey Cynical Review,
I laughed my azz off at the wanting to cast deafness & blindness on yourself.
Thanks for the video & have a great day.
Aw thanks!
The woman who played the queen. She looks a lot like the girl from The Neverending Story.
Jeremy Irons is a king.
But you said.......
THERE WILL BE A KING!! I WILL BE KING!!!
At 10:03 Damadar says”Post brigades at every sewer entrance and exit.” Guarding every sewer exit I understand, but wouldn’t the other part of his command mean posting a brigade at everyone’s privy? Everyone would have to go passed a brigade of guards to use the lavatory.
'blockbuster? That's not a name I've heard for a long....long time'- Ramasses the great
A witch yelling "I'm not evil!" scared the cat. Interesting....
Snail's death is a prime example of why you "never split the party"
It came out the same year as Fellowship of the Ring. Almost impossible to believe looking at the sfx.
But at least it had the great Tom Baker as some old elf fella.
Wait a minute. Princess, who controls dragons, and wants to bring about a society for the common people? This is just Daenerys Targaryen but without anything interesting
Also, while Jeremy Irons overacting is enjoyable, Thora Birch's underacting is just PAINFUL.
Ahem. "I paid cash money to see this in the theater." - end of confession.
You dropped this 👑
I feel like "Dungeons & Dragons" is one of those franchises that cannot be properly portrayed in a movie format. The best way to go about telling a "Dungeons & Dragons"-type story is to use an episodic format...such as a comic book series, or a video game title, or a television show. Best examples I can think of being series like "Goblin-Slayer" (which while it's not "D&D" it has a similar setting & theme) and of course the original "Dungeons & Dragons" cartoon from the 80s.
I saw this in the theater and still haven't recovered.
If the DM says _"Are you sure you want to do that?"_ the answer is always *uh... no?*
this one would personally phrase it as 'well, not any more'
D&D wasn’t nominated for any Razzie Award, but if it was…
• Worst Picture
• Worst Director for Courtney Solomon
• Worst Actor for Justin Whalin
• Worst Supporting Actor for Jeremy Irons
• Worst Supporting Actor for Marlon Wayans
• Worst Supporting Actress for Thora Birch
• Worst Supporting Actress for Zoe McLellan
• Worst Screen Couple for Jeremy Irons and either Bruce Payne or his performance full of ham
• Worst Screen Ensemble
• Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel
• Worst Screenplay for Carroll Cartwright and Topper Lilien
This why I love Jeremy Irons
Wouldn't mind seeing some D&D, or other Tabletop RPG podcast on this channel.
"Just like you fighters... always sticking sharp things into things where they don't belong..."
"You painters, always.....painting".
"Just like you engineers... Always building things."
That thumbnail did NOT have to be the first thing I saw when I first opened up this app.
I am soooo excited, i even made a bag of popcorn for this
OK, I know I am drooling all over these comment sections, but I had to say that I genuinely laughed out loud multiple times watching this. And your DM "Are you sure you want to do that?" brought back many great, yet somewhat traumatic, memories.
I love this movie. I also always thought this movie was parody. Parody on fantasy movies. And because it is parody of course it is absurd and honestly I still think it is hilarious and you can get good laugh of this movie.
13:49 -fun fact, that weird tentacle brain thing in Damadar's head is supposed to be a mind flayer. Yeah... the director thought that just showing an octopus-headed creature mind-controlling him would not have made people understand, so we got... this. Or maybe they wanted to portray ceremorphosis, in which case... WTF? It's not how that works. Nor could wizard cure him... you need a priest for that.
Also fun fact: the guy who played Elwood the dwarf would go on to play Grumpy the dwarf in the TV show Once Upon a Time
@@v1de0gamr23 Well, seems he has found his niche!
I watched this movie for the first time today with a few friends who recommended it. It was one hour and forty three minutes of pure glory. I have never laughed this hard at *comedy* movies, let alone movies that are supposed to be suspenseful and action packed. My DM in a Discord D&D game suggested watching it, rented it on UA-cam, and we saw nothing but a black screen (UA-cam has some system to prevent you from sharing rented movies). Luckily for me, through some horrific series of events, I happen to have the movie on DVD. I plugged it in, and the moment it started it was laughter and "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" all the way through. The awful CGI, the fucking atrocious dialogue, the way none of the actors gave a shit, the way Jeremy chewed the fucking scenery, *THE FUCKING ENDING.* Horrific perfection all the way through. If you ever get the chance, look at the deleted scenes, they are just as fucking glorious as the rest of the movie. The alternate ending made me simultaneous throw a fit of rage and howl with laughter, *BECAUSE IT WAS THE SUPERIOR ENDING.* And the scene inside the scroll: "The only thing I'm seeking is a way outta here." *"YOU MUST SEEK THE ROD."* I was dying of laughter the whole time.
It is the worst movie I have *ever* seen, I rate it 10000/10.
What? The Empress declared everyone is equal and all those Lawful Stupids in Rotten Tomatoes didn't give this film a 98% fresh rating?
Fun fact. The guy who played Elwood the dwarf also played Grumpy the dwarf in Once upon a time.
16:08 is that Tom Baker?
... what a world we live in.
"Let their blood rain from the sky!" is my RP character's battle cry
Those reports that people cheered when Snails got killed? Confirmed. Was there, watched in disbelief at this … mess and cheered myself, together with the rest of the audience ...
Jeremy doesn’t do dishes.
Jeremy doesn’t wash windows.
But Jeremy Irons.
"Chris Rock from the 5th Element." 🙄
i just saw on imdb that there's a dnd movie slated for 2023 with a lot of big actors, anxiously awaiting your video on it when it comes
"Who the hell is that?!?"
No response
"Who the hell are you?!?"
Best line ever.
When Monty Python can make a better D&D campaign than this movie
Maybe try Jabberwoky from 1977, Before you try Search for The Holy Grail.
As much of a disaster this movie may be, it was a huge factor for getting me hooked on D&D (after the Baldur's Gate games) when I was a kid. Still worth a watch every now and then for the nostalgia alone, not to mention the fact that bad movies is best movies.
I'm glad you got something positive out of it, at least!
jeremy irons can save any movie he's in! just look at eragon, he's amazing in that and the movie is trash