@@filippersson5256 if you are refering to the hierarchy of needs theory, sex is not the only form of fulfilling the belongingness and love needs. There are plenty others forms of intimacy so yes, someone can die a virgin and still be whole.
@@filippersson5256 The intimacy that is required for humans is spending time with others and forming close relationships with others. Humans are social creatures and without social interactions we get sick. This is why social isolation is a serious punishment and why when babies are kept away from other humans they have severe mental problems. Sex is not necessary other than for reproduction. You can abstain and still be perfectly healthy. The narrative that sex is necessary for humans is REALLY harmful and is what incels use to justify their hatred for women. I am not sure why people think this these days but it needs to stop.
You can't say life is long because you don't know what the future holds. Time flies when you're having fun, or when you are concentrating on things.. Time feels slow when life is tough. When you're young, you feel like you have all the time in the world, but there comes a time in life when you realize that you have less time rather than more.. Add in the fact that tomorrow is NEVER guaranteed. You can do everything right and your life may be affected by circumstances out of your control. When you look back, life is short.. Then you think about time you may have wasted. or money you wasted..
I’m so proud of you for doing this for yourself and healing properly- not rushing into another relationship and just repeating the cycle. It makes me sad whenever people do fully heal themselves before going right into a relationship. It might be lonely but you can really find yourself and be alone with yourself. That can change you and your mind set so much. You can focus loving yourself and not stress about loving someone else, which can be tough. We love you Leah and hope you can heal, you deserve it!
@@777q lol yes, this entire video and comment section proves it. this is what you do, just as a free choice thing? This is what yall struggle with? Not being a hole for random men to use? wow
I’m 28 and been single my entire life. I have really flourished on my own in many ways but I’ve been ready for a relationship for a long time now. It sometimes feels like I’ve hit a glass ceiling. Now I’m trying to figure out how to navigate holding this desire. Too much of anything isn’t good for me. And while it’s been a blessing to have all this time for myself my heart has been ready for that special someone. 💐
Omg I’m 28 and I’ve been always single. I thought like it’s only me having no relationships till this age and something must have been wrong with me. Happy to hear that there are people like me ❤🎉
im asexual (demisexual to be precise!) and i often go multiple years of not having sex in between partners, and i haven't been in a relationship since i was 19! it's been really wonderful for me to develop such a deep sense of understanding of myself and feel so whole as a single being. making a home in loneliness is a wonderful thing ❤ and also not being super focused on sex & relationships gives me so much more time to pursue my hobbies and passions and focus on the things in my life that make me feel like me!
Demisexual is just normal, not saying anything other than is abnormal but let's be honest nowadays hooking up has become more normal than just being a person who has sex after deeply connecting with a person
@@malihakarim1696 hi I’m demi as well and it’s definitely not the same as other people’s sexual experiences. If I’m not in a relationship I have no libido whatsoever. I don’t get crushes from physical attraction to people. I can recognize that some people are nice looking but I don’t feel any butterflies or fantasize about hooking up with people from looks alone. I have zero interest in porn. If you relate that’s cool, but I don’t think we need to invalidate people for choosing to identify with a label that best describes their experiences and how they feel. ❤
@@claja_ i think "invalidate" is the wrong word. They weren't knocking the label as much as it truly is rather unfortunate that society has gotten so sex-obsessed with hookup culture that another term needed to come along to describe the very manner that normal people have been behaving for many decades. Our society is so sexually permiscuous that being selective can lead to judgement. The term describes a real thing, but that thing never needed explaining at all at all 50yrs ago. That said, I'm pretty much demisexual also but I don't particularly enjoy it..only because it's a catch 22 trying to find someone worth my time. I want to take the time to develop a connection with the right girl but the circumstances have to be just right for me to have any drive to make it happen. My sex drive is at the whim of those circumstances, and the little bit of drive I do have when one comes along yields no guarantee that she'll stick around for my interest to finally start to peak with hers. Timing is everything but when it clicks, you just know it.
i'm 17 and have never even touched hands with anyone. i know that i'm still very young and if any relationship is supposed to be in my life it will eventually come. but being single and just observing all the teenagers my age and younger being in long-term relationships and having sex when they were around 14 y.o has helped me to come from 'i wanna experience this' , constantly feeling left out and feeling like i'm not worthy of love, cause no one has ever liked me to this day, to realization that i don't really want to be in a relationship at all, that i'm okay on my own and i feel like i'm finally slowly starting to accept myself for who i am. i think i'm glad that i didn't start dating earlier, since all this years of me observing other people has left me with knowing my worth and i know that i'm never gonna settle for the bare minimum.
I feel exactly the same way. And I'm 21. It'll happen when it's supposed to happen and I'm just grateful that I didn't start dating earlier because it would have kept me from becoming who I am today.
@@emman2052 thank you so much for sharing your story! everyone has their own journey, for some people it may sadly be something similar to yours. there's definitely no "right" age to start dating and having sex, some people need to wait, some people are ready even when they are 14. it is also great that we are able to analyze our experiences, learn so much from it and rebuild our relationships with ourselves. and i'm so glad that you're in a much better place now!!
I think its important to have the mindset that romantic love isnt the most imprtant thing, there can be many different people in your life that love and value you, and this can make romantic relationships healthier because you wont rely in only one person! I hope you have a good day!
As someone who is 18 and entering adulthood- your videos mean so much to me! Just being able to watch you grow and learn to feel loved within yourself gives me so much hope
You don't need to be in a relationship to be fully content with your life. All you need is yourself and putting yourself first can make such a huge difference. There's nothing wrong with putting your needs and wants first before others. Sometimes you got to prioritize what really matters, and that is you.
this video is so validating to the celibate experience. I have been celibate for over a year after a heartbreak and the first few months were tough because I missed that closeness with the previous person I was seeing, that I couldn't imagine being physically intimate with someone else. About 6 months in, it became a clearer, more conscious choice for me, and presently I realize I have never looked inwards in my life until now. I've gained so much clarity and my wants have changed to things that will honor my energy and soul. I have the willpower now to set boundaries and walk away if those are crossed. This year of celibacy has taught me that my relationship with myself is the most important one to have before anyone else comes along. Sex is a beautiful thing and from my experience without it, I know when that time comes again with the right person, it'll make this journey even more worthwhile.
I just ended my 4 year relationship last week as I felt I had no idea how to survive in a world by myself...this video gives me so much hope and makes me feel I did the right thing! I hope to have made as strong strides as you have in your year ❤❤
I've been single for about 6 years now after having multiple back to back relationships and it's been incredible! Having the time and energy to focus on working on myself instead of others has been such a blessing and way of healing for me. I'm so glad to hear you talk about the subject bc it's not talked about enough!
I'm 21 and never had it, it used to bother me but I've learned to accept it. Sex is not that big of a deal and I personally think I can have a fullfield life without it. Maybe Ill change in the future, but for now this is where I stand. Thanks for the lovely video, Leah 💚
This is exactly what I’m doing! Its already been a year for me. I overcare and lose myself in relationships. I can relate to suppressing “negative” emotions with love but by being single I’ve been able to heal and do self inventory.
Wow I took 6 months off from sex and it really changed everything for me! It really allowed me to heal from last traumas and relationship and just really learn more about loving myself! I’ve rented so much about this in my last couple YT videos cause holding space for your emotions create the greatest feeling! 💙
I’ve been celibate for over 3 years. And I’ve been closing myself off to romantic interests for 2 years. For me, it’s partly religious. But I think it’s a good breather for anyone of any background to have. It’s an experience within itself just like romance is an experience of its own. I think life is beautiful regardless of love. And realizing that only makes the idea of love so much more beautiful and magical.
It's so inspiring how you were able to use the breakup as an opportunity to deconstruct, reevaluate and reconnect to transform your life. I am coming out from a very long period of burnout and depression and these videos really help me remember that I don't have to follow the pre-determined paths society pressures us to stick to, that I can make this life what I want it to be! Thank you so much for posting them and for being so open and have the courage to be so vulnerable! P.S: how did you manage to make so many wonderful friendships and attract so many cool people into your life? Please share your tips
this is one of the best videos you've ever made and I loved every second!!! as a 24 yr old who's never been in a romantic relationship or dated or had sex, this video really hit and made me so grateful that I have also learned a lot of the things that you did and I feel so affirmed!!
Ugh the timing of this video is so helpful… I’m currently going through my first ever major breakup (a partner of 2.5 years) and your point about self-encouragement resonated with me so much. I’ve already spent so much time doing things with myself that I wish I did more during my relationship. It’s validating to hear someone else say that they didn’t do as many activities/tasks/self-work as they would have liked to while with a partner. I’ve been feeling a lot of shame surrounding this- as though I wasn’t strong/focused enough to juggle everything (friends, hobbies, work, my partner) while in a long term relationship. Cultivating a relationship with yourself is a really beautiful thing and it makes complete sense that we sometimes have to be single to fully commit to ourselves. Thanks for this Leah ❤️
This content is so timely. I’m about to go celibate again for the second time, first time was 4 years and now I plan to do this journey again for 2 years so I can focus on myself and flourish in other aspects of my life. I wanna be the best person that I can be for me and my future partner. Thank you Leah, your content is always appreciated ❤
I'm in college in a very intense major and am always super stressed and "working 24/7" (aka I work all the time besides sucking myself into my phone all the time). Watching your videos, I see you go out and go to amazing places and do amazing things with your life and be in the beautiful outdoors. Thank you for reminding me what's out there.
leah this video is so visually stunning and full of amazing words. i love all your videos so so much and this might be my favorite. i feel like i saw so much more of your life over the past year than i knew about! you capture everything so beautifully. i love you so much ♡
me too! I’ve been single with no sex for nine months now. I never actually decided to be celibate but it happened that way because I am demisexual and since I was healing from my past relationship and not really interested in superficial flings, it just happened that way. I agree with you completely. Loved your video, your insights, I am also trying to give myself what I want from others and I also get so much love from my existing friendships, like words of affirmation or physical touch❤ it’s really beautiful. Thanks for sharing! Lots of love Leah!
wow, thank you so much for sharing this. i’m someone who has had really intense relationships where i have one main person since i was 13 and i’d sacrifice anything and so much of myself for them. it was incredibly helpful to see how you broke a similar pattern. this is so beautiful and you should be so proud.
Leah i have to tell you something that really blew my mind! When you talked about your experience of skinny-dipping in the ocean under the moon, i instantly thought about a similar experience i had in the summer when i was visiting Sicily, so i looked at my camera roll and found out, that it was the same freaking day!! Truly magical 🥰 It makes me feel like we were somehow connected that day even though you don’t know me haha Just had to tell you about this :)
Wow!!! I found out through one of the girls that it’s a really special astrological day called Lions Gate Portal! Which is why we all decided to go for that moonlight swim! So beautiful that u did too :’)
I’m moving to brighton next year so seeing you make such a nice connection with two people you had just met there makes me feel so reassured! I can’t wait to live next to a big body of water for the first time, it feels like it’ll be a comforting and consistent presence for when i feel lonely or homesick.
i have no words for this awesome talk and piece of art. i started a journey like this myself a couple of weeks ago. i was so surprised about this video coming out today. i can already feel things changing inside me and your video makes me exited for what it to come, even if it sometimes scares the hell out of me when i look closely at myself and discover all the other coping mechanisms and all the feelings (of which I had no idea i could feel them) coming up. i have been watching your videos for three years and in this one you seem to be so calm, down to earth und connected with yourself, it touches me deeply, there were a fears running down my cheeks. it takes so much courage to step out of old circles, so you have my deep esteem. much love straight from my heart to yours.
I’m only 4 minutes in and I’m in literal tears. I feel so much everything you’re saying you had to go through. Even tho I’ve been single for my 22 years of life I can still relate so much to every single word you’re saying and I can’t help but feel this deep emotion within myself. I feel respect and admiration for how well you’re managing something I’ve been trying to heal for many many years now. Thank you for helping me feel all this today, thank you for being the word I needed to hear rn in my journey. You’ve always been a little angel for me ever since I found you so long ago. I only wish for you to know how important this video and you have been for me. Sending you aaaall my love and warmest hugs 💗⭐️🌷
Hi Leah, i have been one of your subscribers since 2021. I was at my lowest point of my life yet i found your videos and made me keep going up until now. Anxiety comes and go but your video will always bring joy to my day. I'm happy to see you using your freedom in the positive way, freedom is a privilege that I believe not everyone could have. I wish I could have the chance to travel and to explore more of what life has got to offer as much as you have been through. Thank you for making these videos and share your life experiences with us :)
I'm going through a breakup right now and remembered what it was like watching your navigating a breakup video series a year ago. Both then and now, I'm stunned by your grace, sincerity, and centeredness. When you were talking about being in back-to-back relationships since you were 17 it really made me reflect on how I've been in my on-and-off relationship since I was 17, and now I'm 21. I never realized until the "off" periods (which are typically very brief) that I have no clue what it's like being single as an adult, and similar to you, I tend to depend on my partner for a lot of emotional needs. You've progressed so much in the past year that you've been celibate and I hope that as I enter this next stage in my life that I can heal the parts of me that I'm neglecting, and fill my life with as much joy as you've filled yours. Watching this video has me in awe of you and I wish you further peace and joy 😸❤
I’m going to start doing this! I managed three months before I used sex as a self harm/sabotage (which is something I definitely need to heal from) and it’s so affirming to see someone else actively being celibate! First part that I did: I deleted those dreaded dating apps!
i’m a loveless aroace, my whole life i’ve viewed others with this lens so watching this video was really eye opening for me! i’ve never been able to comprehend how someone’s sex life and sexual/romantic relationships can affect someone so much but hearing about how eye opening it’s been for u in regards to celibacy is really heartwarming!! wishing u all the best on ur journey leah :DD
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever got is to not look at being single as a transitional period in-between relationships, but as a valid state of its own. I feel like in todays day and age, the pressure to be in a relationship and/or s*xually active is really high. Especially among my peers (20-somethings) but also with ppl of other ages around me… and I went as far as to question my self-worth as a result. On the other hand, there has never been a time in my life when I was more focused on healing myself. There is nothing more powerful than unpacking everything kept in the darkest corners of your mind, despite how painful it is at first. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m convinced that everything has its own timing, and this is the stage where it’s about me and my well-being only. While I still crash and burn on the regular, I’m also trying my best to practice patience, self-compassion and going to therapy. There is a lot of truth to the saying “In order to be accepted, you have to accept yourself first.” Thank you for leading this conversation, Leah! It’s something I often reflect on and I admire how you’re being so outspoken and vulnerable about your experience ❤
Leah, I resonated with this video so much that I burst into tears while eating breakfast 😅 I've been wanting to nurture this kind of change within myself since recently going through a tough breakup. Heavy emphasis on the cultivating new friendships part, but it seems so hard to find those ppl!! Are there any other viewers in nyc (or really anywhere) who wanna connect? I feel like this is such a warm and genuine community :,)
Hi! I’m on a totally different part of the world (in Mallorca), but I would love to connect with people around the world too! Your comment reminds me so much of my current situation and feelings, so if you want to talk or share anything, tell me and we can exchange numbers ❤
I just sincerely want to thank you for purely existing and sharing all these amazing experiences with the world. I've only recently discovered your channel in the last couple of months and it ha quicly became one of my favorite things on the internet. Just seeing your videos, early in the morning, has helped me so much struggling with severe anxiety and overall just feeling heavly overwhelmed thinking about "having to exist". You always show the slow, quiet life everyone always forget about and it makes such an impact in my everyday life that the least i can do is thanking you and keep supporting you the best i can. Thank you so so much for doing what you do and I sincerely wish you all the best possible, because you are an amazing human being
I'm currently about 2 months into my celibacy journey and the trials and crushes are definitely aplenty. But I'm finding so much peace and connection to my self. I'm investing so much time into my hobbies and into my mental health journey. I don't know how long I will keep going, at least a year but maybe more. I already know it's going to be one of the most important spiritual and self care practices of my life.
I used to get in relationships all the time & even when I tried to stop someone would come along and I’d say “but I’ll miss this chance with them” so when you said we can find each other again or something along the lines that really hit home. My year of celibacy ended a few months ago & it was beautiful, I moved in the middle of it and I’ve gained so many new friends and spent so much time with myself I think I’ve fallen in love
thank uuuu I’ve had a crush on a friend that doesn’t like me back for a long time and this helped me realise I don’t have to suppress it or suffer for him not feeling the same or to live thinking of what he thinks about me I will just admire him and laugh and play with him and just love him in this way not wanting more
this video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time for me, im struggling so much with self love and pouring so much of myself into this idealized partner. you speaking about pouring all of those wishes and new experiences into yourself was very affirming. little by little im trying to be more okay with myself and i realize my main focus is surrounded by becoming a better me so i can be fit as a partner when this reframed my thinking that i should yes be the best me for myself, but also my friends and loved ones. your vulnerability about lacking pouring into your friendships is something i’ve regretfully realized about myself. i hope this year (my birthday is in a few days) i can challenge myself to be that loving person inside and out.
This is not about relationships, but you inspire and motive me. I am a high school senior and I am going through so much stress and burnout, but I still keep pushing. Next year, I plan to take a gap year (to learn German and go to uni un Germany) and be alone in a country I don’t know. Your videos give me so much hope and courage to push myself through hard thoughts of living and spending time alone. Thank you❤
I've been going through a similar experience lately of understanding, healing and reconnecting with myself, so this video helped me to reassure that this is a process and eventually things will get better and make more sense. I'm really glad it's working for you and I hope you're doing well! And thank you for your amazing content, the cinematography, the editing, the shared experiences, thoughts and knowledge, everything is as refreshing and comforting as ever. Take care Leah, much peace and love from Brazil!🤍🤍
hi leah, i love how your videos always come at the right timing whenever i need a reminder that the world is so vast and there’s so much worth living for, my tears suddenly sprang out during the part when you talk about your relationships with friends and family because its something that i hadn’t been able to prioritize lately due to work, i can’t describe how much of ur vids (especially this one) brings me comfort and soothes me during my bad days, thank you for existing and thank you for sharing parts of your life with us, i wish you a long, happy, healthy, and fulfilling life
I have quite a problem with relationships and affection because by the time I decided that I would no longer be forcing myself to feel attracted to people nor accepting in my life people that don't treat me kindly, I simply stopped enjoying being around others. I really want to make connections and love deeply, but I feel that I can never achieve it, everyone and everything seems to cold. I don't really know how to deal with the loneliness that comes with it, but Leah's videos always makes me feel better and hopefull ❤ thank you so much for your content
i took a 9 month break from sex + romance in 2022, first by accident and then it became intentional. it did wonders for my relationship to sex, my body, and myself as well as for my coming into my queerness fully. thank you for making this video!
This video is so calming and yet so empowering, it’s everything I needed to hear. I’m struggling now with a breakup and I feel it is time for me to stay alone for a year but yet I still catch myself chasing for love😢
i am currently doing this. i exited a relationship that wasn’t fulfilling the new person i am growing into and i wanted to give myself the freedom to know myself and do what i wanted without considering someone else’s needs first(not in a selfish or cruel way ofc). i have come to understand that i will be the only constant person in my life not matter who i meet and i want to be able to care for myself fully and truthfully. leah, you inspired me to continue this year of introspection, as i share many of your sentiments towards honoring one’s self and your passion for life and the things around you. thank you and take care
Thank u leah! For being so relatable to many. You’ve been through such a hard long time! Heavy hard feelings for many months is so hard but here u are now and so i am. We’re together after all thank u thank u for being here
I have watch your channel off and on for a while. Your new enlightenment and sharing your personal self growth is something of this new generation and can be hard to accept for a lot of older generations. This process that you are sharing we all go through and yes we either embrace it or ignore it because of our up bring. As a BabyBoomer with old views I thank it is a good thing that your doing (sharing your personal growth). As human beings we struggle to find our way through or just thoughtlessly follow the old ways of expected society. I believe that knowledge is the key to life and no matter the age, race or back round you can always learn something. Who knows your sharing might save some one’s life. 👍🏽Thank you.
Since my last relationships, I explored myself so much, what my life goals were, who I was, what I liked, what I disliked. I am so happy on my own though I'm not sure I'd want to meet someone right now. But celibaty is the best thing that happened to me lately. I feel so free to do anything at anytime, I have created my own opinions and personnality as long as life choices as well and I am so unbothered, by basically anything. I am on the quest to find my peace and the spirituality within myself. I am simply decluttering my life which feels wonderful.
Leah, the openness and authenticity you have in this video, giving us little slices of ur life thru these beautiful clips, was so so touching I’m so proud of u and this is one of my favorite videos of urs ❤❤
I loved this sm. I came out of a 4 year relationship recently and after dating a bit initially I've found myself much more drawn to being alone and putting the energy into different forms of intimacy and as you put it, "dating my friends". It's making me really value the other relationships in my life, particularly with myself and plantoic romances, in a way that's reaffirmed how much the societal valuing of romantic love is just completely skewed. So nice to hear someone else echoing these thoughts back ❤
i love hearing your perspective leah! i was celibate for ~15 mo. last year. did a lot of healing from an abusive relationship, grew a lot, but also wrestled with many feelings of loneliness and tendency to be isolative. i think there is always more to learn in the ways we relate to others through intimacy whether that be sexually or non-sexually.
my partner of 4 years and i just broke up, and it was mutual. i’m glad your videos about navigating a break up/being single for the first time in a while are here ❤ i really love your vids and your perspectives :)
Thank you Leah for sharing this. I've just entered my celibacy period after 3 years of being in a really meaningful relationship. It is a very disorienting and rich journey and it is so interesting and great to see you being so curious and inquisitive about your emotions, desires and energy flows. Sending you so much love
I'm 30 & have been single my whole life. Before my 30th birthday last year I joined a app for the first time. Growing up I felt you had to have your life together before being with someone "I never felt ready to date" After talking with friends they told me to go for it & recommended an app to get started. I'm glad I did, the people I've come across have been lovely & made the process of dating less intense than I thought it would be. I also came out earlier that year as bi (2022) & it has been so freeing. 2021 was a year of exploration for me where I allowed myself to follow my attraction freely. Lastly as someone with no sexual experience it's been interesting learning what arousal feels like with in the body for me. Thank you for sharing your experience!
This video hits hard! All of the self-discovery practices which you have put to use honestly feel like everything I would like to do for myself and more. It really is hard drawing a line between toxicity in your life and a healthy form of self-care.
I've don't the celibacy thing for 22 years. My asexuality caused this. 😂 But as someone that has never dated I find it very interesting that people go through a _no dating journey_ because nit dating has been my norm.
this video was really moving, i kept getting emotional throughout it haha. i think you are so beautiful and wise, leah. i'm 18 years old now, leaving school and going off to university soon and there is so much i want to do with my life and so many different ways i want to grow, but i also fear making the wrong choices or "wasting time", but you've really made me realise how much time there is out there, and made me excited instead of frightened of the future. to me you really feel like some sort of guide for my spirit whom i can always count on for your advice and wisdom. thank you 🌸❤
awww zsa zsa you’re going to have the greatest of times in all its highs and lows! I hope our paths cross again and I’ll get to hear about the stories you’re about to make :’) 🤍
this is beautiful, your words and your cinematography. i've been relearning what love is and your videos always remind me to come back to what i find important in life instead of getting carried away with what other people tell me will make me happy
Hi Leah! I love to see you grow more in peace with your soul each day, i find it very inspiring. You have so much talent when it comes to sharing your feelings with videos and words! Thank you for sharing snippets of your life with us
Thank you once again for sharing your genuine thoughts on feelings you encountered during the past stages of your life (and your relationship) which are so intimate and yet is something everyone who has experienced breakups will very likely encounter. Your reconnection with your female friends and with nature is so precious and beautiful. 💛 Yes, one beautiful thing about love is that it does not have to be presented in the form of romantic gestures to potential partners but that same degree of warmth and energy can be transferred to people whom you care (without seeing them as romantic partners). I also found that walking in forests or just being in connection to nature is a good way to learn to listen to your own thoughts without judgement and in turn, you learn to be kinder to yourself. Keep being kinder to yourself as you are being kind to others 🥰
Hi Leah! This video hit me differently (in a good way). I love seeing how you grow and navigate through life. I’ve honestly been having a difficult time accepting myself as I am, but it’s really encouraging to see you become more patient and caring and attentive to yourself. Here’s to living slowly, compassionately, and presently. Thank you
It's been 9 since singlehood and celibacy and it's beem tough. The first 4 months, i was too traumatized to even speak to guys. After then i started becoming desperate bc the loneliness was getting to me. And now it's acceptance.. starting to realize that no one's worth my time and now know what i want and I won't settle. It's been so difficult though :( bc i love love. And the loneliness gets bad, but yeah I'm trying to makw it through. We are enough for ourselves ❤️
i love how real you are about the world, feelings, mental health, etc. on the internet. i feel like a lot of people can relate to you, or feel at peace with your video's. lots of love and i wish you the best!
You r the biggest rolemodel for me all of my friends knows "if lari feels bad give her a video from leahsfieldnotes" u cheered me up in one of my worst life times i've ever had after my mom and dog passed away (in 2021-2022) and after all of that ur videos still give me that comfort to feel safe and home it honestly feels like a sleep over w a good friend to watch ur videos over and over again So thank you. Thank you sm for beeing here for me !! I love you🩶 much love from germany
I've been celibate for three years, and it has been the most powerful years of my life. It was confusing and scary at first but now I recognize it as imperative to my love for myself and self-fulfillment. During this time I have received the most love I've ever had in my life. The friendships I have gained have taught me so much and reflected my own love for others back at me. I am so grateful for this time and have so much peace and the fulfillment I struggled with in my past relationships.
To add a bit to my previous point : Now, to be clear, I'm not telling a sob story about myself. As I mentioned earlier, I'm perfectly comfortable being on my own. Being single this whole decade led me to travel and discover so many great places on my own that I would have had a hard time enjoying as much if I had someone else living rent free in my headspace. There is definitely something to be said about the beauty of travelling all alone. Travelling with someone, be it friends, family, or a lover is certainly great, you can share the experience, have lot of fun, and sacred moments together, but when you do so, you could go just about anywhere in the world, and it's still just a trip with your friend/family/lover taking centerstage. The main "characters" of the trip, is you and them, and your relationship together. The place you're visiting is just an exotic background. On the other hand, travelling all alone is an entirely other beast ! When you discover a new place, city, country, food, smell, language... You're a sponge, your 5 senses are fully awakened, and you pay attention to everything around you (especially if like me, you're into street photography, devouring with your lens any new landscape, architecture, and actually paying attention to people that you just met, who can all potentially become surprise friends or lovers for one day/night/week that you'll keep in your memory for the rest of your life, as you just mentioned in your vid) ! Which is a pretty intoxicating feeling ! Over the years, my trips all over Taipei, Tainan, Taiwan's east coast HK, Fuzhou, Xiamen, Okinawa, Kyoto, Singapore... I keep sacred memories of all of them, and remember, even after 10 years, some of the people I met there for one night (while I keep forgetting the names of the people I meet weekly here in my now mundane life in Taipei) And I believe that feeling of absolute freedom to go wherever whenever however and sponging them deep in your psyche, there's definitely an allegory to be made with being single by choice. It is liberating to be just by yourself, when you put in the time and effort to grow on your own. It feels light to live without drama caused by the ups and down of relationships. It feels great to do whatever you want, watch any movie you want, eat wherever you want, go out on a trip, buy a new camera or lens, or any other costly gadget, all of that without having to justify, explain, or excuse yourself to anyone. So yeah, single life is comfortable. The downside of it is obviously the occasional "feeling lonely" moment (that can sometimes happen for quite a long time, not gonna lie), but it's always countered by the amount of freedom and levity such life brings you. Now, of course, I'm painting a rather limited portrait of what a couple is. That's probably because I have no idea what it feels like ! As I mentioned, I've been single almost all my life, and the longest relationship I've ever been into was one year... With the last 6 months being a long distance relationship, as she was working in China by then (and we ended up mutually breaking up because of being apart for so long). So I can only preach about my own chapel ^^. Which is also one of the reasons why I got so absorbed into your channel, as when I discovered it, you were still with Andrew, and the 2 of you weren't shy of communicating some of your private thoughts and process on life as a couple, which was really an eye opener to me, where I learned so much about coupling. And I must say thank you for that. Even though you 2 are no longer together, your beautiful time together shined a light upon many people in the world, including me, and I'm grateful that you have shared it. And even moreso grateful to you to keep sharing your solo adventures and growing pains and beauty, to this day. There is definitely something touching about you, and how you appear in your ever evolving public journal that is your channel ! You said that I was always replying the longest, most insightful replies to your vids, but that's basically my way of thanking you to actually teach me so much about love. So if I can bring anything of my own life wisdom to the table to also make you learn about some stuff in life, it's my pleasure, lovely young lady.
@@zinebsamad0553 glad you enjoyed it. I'm usually the kind of guy who listens, but when I do have stuff to write, my fingers are running on their own ^^.
@@zinebsamad0553 oh, I comment on pretty much all her vids. But since they are usually that long, nobody bothers reading them, so they stay low in likes and ranking. But I don't care, most of the time, I'm really just writing for Leah, so as long as she sees it, I'm perfectly satisfied. Now if you want to know more about me, feel free to dig a bit deeper in her previous vids's comments. It's gonna be a great excuse to revisit her past videos.
Hi Leah I just wanted to tell you that your videos really inspire me. This has been my comfort channel over the years and I really look up to you. The thoughtful way you articulate yourself gives me hope that change is attainable for me because you break it down in a way that eases my anxiety about the future. I hope you continue to make these videos that you put so much love and hard work into for years to come
This video is so pure and real. Thank you for sharing your life and experiences with us so openly and helping other people feel less alone. It sounds like you've manage to do a lot of reflection, growing, and healing.
As a 26 year old virgin man, someone just choosing to avoid sex feels so weird and it's an incredible contrast. My life is literal hell for people like you.
This video is incredibly helpful for broken hearts, yearning to grow, and moving through fear. I really really appreciate being able to come here when I need some light from the other side. Thank you x
I related with almost everything you shared, also been celibate for a year to heal my PTSD (which is not healed but im on my way) and i learned to be more tender with myself and in my relationships, what i enjoy and i really related to "becoming a better partner by being a better partner for myself". Thank you for sharing, is so important to talk about these sorts of things. Felt very nice to listen to someone with a similar experience. All love to you on your journey
your content always resonates as a fellow young person and truly makes me feel seen. it is such a comfort for me, thank you for all the effort that goes into making these videos
After breaking up, I felt my own breath, lots of my own space and time to do whatever I want without have to asking or waiting for anyone to agree on my plan.😍💃💕❣️
During the recent eclipse (I’ve usually never taken these things too seriously) but I found myself overwhelmed and restless thinking about my past relationship that ended badly. I took some time off and when swimming. I spent some time reflecting on my inability to relax and let myself be and how much I was affected by this idea of the ideal romance or partner and how dependent I was on finding this. I use it to soothe myself which is really unhealthy and a pattern I need to get rid off. The next day I decided I need to set this boundary if I’m going to be able to let go off this obsession. I’m a little scared to go on this journey and I’m not urge what to expect or I’m too worried about the end result but I know this is important. Thank you Leah, I’m really glad you put this out here. I’m hoping to come back here to review how the year has been for me. This felt like a warm hug ❤
I'm very proud of you for pushing through this whole year of celibacy. I hope you learned more about yourself after just this one year. Your video gave me a newfound appreciation for my life. You honestly inspire me to be better to myself and cultivate more love into the relationships I have in my life. Thank you, Leah.
I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I’ve been requiring less emotional compatibility from potential partners than my friendships. I would end up in a situationship I felt very ambivalent towards until the other person broke things off, but the last time this happened I finally broke it off myself after realizing. Now I’ve promised to myself that I’m not even going to focus on dating at all, I’m putting my energy towards hobbies, friendships, uni but if I meet somebody and develop strong feelings for them only then will I entertain dating again. I also fall into the demisexual label I think, and the fact that I don’t really want to have sex without a stronger emotional connection made me feel like something was wrong with me when people in those ambivalent (on my end) situationships wanted more intimacy. Your videos, while slightly different scenarios, have been helpful to me in accepting what I need to do for myself in this period of my life.
Been going through so much…this video came as a hand being extend to me…I feel like I am looking at a glimpse of the other side ….the side I’m scared to go to. Thank you so much for sharing this ❤
I'm almost 23 and I haven't had a boyfriend before, sometimes I feel bad about it because it makes me thinks... am I so ugly that nobody wants me?... I think this has caused me to always be comparing myself to others and to worry more and more about my looks, not for myself but for others. I used to feel that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like this... til' I stopped caring about it and what others thinks... Now I understand that the only thing I should worry about is myself and that I shouldn't give in to the pressures of others, it's okay not to be in a relationship and it's okay to be on your own. Not everything revolves around being in a couple, thanks for ur video Leah! ❤
This might be my favorite video of yours to date Leah. I'm coming out of a six year relationship that I thought brought me comfort only to realize it's robbed me of all confidence and sense of self. As soon as I began to step away I felt like I could breathe again and decided I wouldn't focus on intimate relationships at all for a while and the experiences, thoughts, and feelings you shared here are exactly what I was starting to get a glimpse of just days after. Having a partner can be a beautiful experience, but sometimes we stay in something because of familiarity and don't realize we aren't able to nurture ourselves simultaneously while giving all of our energy to that one person. Like you said, growth comes from challenging our comfort zone. And while I am choosing myself, it means giving up a major portion of how I've come to know and live my live. It's starting from scratch and it's scary. Watching this is so affirming for where I'm currently at and gives me so much excitement to see where I'll go. Thank you for this. (Plus, the way you edited and put this whole video together is just SO beautiful and moving and touching, top tier I love it sm)
I can relate 100%! The first year or two (varies person to person) is difficult and slowly you start finding joy in life. There is a lot of learning that happens once you let go.
I have been like this for almost 3 years, it has been liberating. I am building my identity. As a woman who started dating early and for a good few years, for me it was necessary to build who I really am. My only concern at the moment is how I will get out of this bubble that is so comfortable and intuitive. It has been an incredible experience, of growth, and today I see things with new eyes. The relationships, in short, everything is very aggregating. I made this decision voluntarily and without much pretension.
I really like how you talk about giving your friends the 'partner' treatment. I talk to my friends about seeing them on the same level as my partner because it gives the feeling of a deeper connection/relationship with them!
This was such a wonderful video to watch from start to finish. I think seeing all your growth this past year has been incredibly inspiring and it makes me want to continue to push myself to get out of my comfort zone. I am married but I think it's so important to not grow stagnant within a relationship and I love that my husband encourages me to try new things without him and also nurture my female friendships because they truly matter so much. Thank you Leah for all your videos and reflections about your life I love following your journey
Thank you for sharing this 😊 I have decided to enter celibacy after the breakup of my first relationship of 5 years. I think a part of me tries to avoid anything related to romance, love, intimacy… but I’m excited to take this time to focus only on me! I spent too much energy, mental space thinking about and for my ex the past 5 years. I want to use this time for me and me only!
This is amazing. A well edited video with a grounded message about life and relationships. Reminds me of Diane from Bojack Horseman when she goes to Vietnam after divorcing Mr. Peanutbutter and in the end realizes that although she is alone, and feels alone at times, she is capable of surviving through those tough emotions and experiences. Kudos Leah!
Finally had time to sit down and watch this video, and it didn’t disappoint - so peaceful and truthful - thank you for sharing this beautiful video Leah!!! Hope anyone reading this has a nice day xx
Woaw ! Another big topic ! You're on a roll ! I never know how long my answers should be, since I know the time window in which you read the comments is usually fairly limited, and by the time I finish typing my comment, half the time, you're already gone to shoot/edit the next vid ^^ (I have no idea if you've seen the one I left on your previous vid). So I'll try to keep it short this time. If you want a more in-depth TLDR , we can keep discussing it in Insta DM later (right now, I'm about to start teaching an animation workshop, so I can't write too long anyway). Lovely insights, Leah. I'm really happy that you seem to have gone through a breakthrough in getting to know yourself more, and be able to recognize all the issues you used to face while falling back to back into relationships. Long term celibacy definitely is a great tool to get to know yourself, what you want, what you don't want anymore, what your limits are, and which ones you can break through. I would say, however, it's also a bit of a double edged sword, and as with everything good, it must be used with caution. I come from the polar opposite of you, growing up, I almost always was single. At first not by choice (Asian boys were not exactly the rage, in conservative Belgium during the 90's), but after moping and feeling dejected about it for my teenage years, when I got to 20, I decided to take the bull by the horns and get to discover (and improve) myself. And step by step, that's exactly what I did ! After much deliberation between taking a "safe" path for fulfilling my parents expectations, and doing what I always wanted to do ever since I was a kid (drawing), I took up animation studies, one of my childhood dreams (cemented in my mind after I saw Princess Mononoke for the first time at the end of my high school years), then rediscovered chinese culture & philosophies (especially Daoism), started learning chinese cooking, fell in love with chinese classic litterature and martial arts movies, took up kung fu, qigong and taiji classes for 2-3 years, started dressing up and grooming as a character straight up from a kung fu film (like you saw)... in the meantime, my studies both in animation and in martial arts have led me to become much sharper, both with my eyes, but also mentally, with much more self confidence, sense of observation and overall sense of analysis through crafting minutely detailed audiovisual storytelling, and patience (since animation requires TONS of it, as it's really a painful drop by drop process)... And with the combination of all of these, I had sculpted a mind with a level of open-mindedness, curiosity about the world, independence, critical thinking and, yes, I'll call it wisdom, at a fairly young age, that I was actually quite proud of. By the time I was 24, after a long chrysalid period, I had attained what I believe to be my final form, one that I have faithfully kept up until today. And I loved it ! As a matter of fact, I still love it to this day. In fact, I'm loving it so much that I equate my celibacy to freedom, and felt that any relationship, which is always about compromise, would actually hamper said freedom and just bring me down a peg. For the longest time (still quite a bit to this day), I was so infatuated with myself and my own new comfort zone, that I really wasn't very much looking for a relationship at all, and while I was certainly more flirty than ever, thanks to my newly found self-confidence, I was actually fairly rejecting of girls who were showing me signs of actual long-term attraction. I had essentially become afraid of commitment, due to the want of staying true to myself. And if I actually found someone who I really loved enough to accept changing myself to be a better fit to her, and compromise on my freedom, she would need to be reeeal worth it ! Since I'm myself living quite out of the box (artist, animator, in love with Chinese traditions and philosophies, but with typical INTP overthinking), she'd have to be someone who just wows me ! Someone truly special and out of this world herself ! (Not that they don't exist, I certainly have met some, but for a plethora of different reasons, a relationship with any of them just never happened). And here we are, 20 years later. I'm in my early 40's, now, way past the age of starting into an actual family (not that it's impossible, but it's certainly much harder now, and yes, even for men), unable to find anyone my age, most likely because at this age everybody is already either married with kids, or just... With kids. Which is never ideal, to start dating someone who's already a mother, and care about kids that are not your own (I've heard quite a few horror stories of nasty breakups, and men who basically raised and cared about the kids as their own, were overnight forbidden to see them after the breakup), and having been celibate for over 10 years now, and sexless for over 5 years, I feel like even if I found someone that wows me, and made me wanna drop my lifestyle... I wouldn't even know what to do with her and how to behave myself if I was to try to court her, let alone be living with her. How the heck would I be able to satisfy her when I'm so used to just take care of myself (and not always being successful at that, since I'm an independent artist, thus usually unemployed, thus broke) ? And you might say "what about younger girls & women ?" Well, I'm the kind of guy who, when I was younger, used to crush hard on girls... Who were always snatched by much older dudes ! And I kept quite a grudge to these guys. Now having grown myself to be of that age, I just don't want to repeat the cycle. To me, in the society we're living, it's easy for girls to feel more secure in the hands of older men. There is always a underlying subconscious layer of daddy issues that has always been enabled by patriarchic societies all over the planet since ancient times, and since everybody has been doing it since the dawn of times, then it's kinda ok'd by society at large. Well, not for me ! I'm not ok with that. I feel girls should grow with their partner instead of grow under them. Everybody who's dating should learn the same mistakes at the same age, and figure out how to overcome them together, instead of having one side bringing all the convenient answers. Which is why even if I do happen to have some severe crush on girls much younger than me (and yes, spoiler alert, it does sometimes happen, I'm still a human being), I just remind myself that they could be of the age of my daughter or niece (if I had any), and just... Nope ! So now, I'm kinda back to where I was at the beginning. Celibate, not by choice anymore, but by circumstances bigger than me, that are not gonna get any better as time passes... Well, so much for trying to keep it short... So yeah, all in all, none of these concerns should hamper you down right now. You're in your absolute prime, you're easily one of the prettiest and most lovely girls on the planet, with a magnetic charm, living your best life, discovering lovely people all over the world, and as you've seen recently, you can move a small army of people to come see you at the end of the world with just a single last minute IG story. So I have no problem imagining you having a mini army of pretendantsof all genders coming after you, should you announce that your celibacy has now ended and you're now looking for someone (even though I have a solid hunch you won't need to as you seem to have already found someone) ^^ I'm just putting it here as something to keep in the corner of your mind that the siren's call of celibacy and self love and discovery is very tempting, and like all good things, at some point, it shouldn't last too long. But for now and the coming years, oh yeah sure, go ahead and enjoy !
that’s a good point about being a double edged sword! though for me that year was long enough for the time being 😅 It helped me realise that a period of celibacy is always something that can be tapped into whenever it feels fitting!
@@leahsfieldnotes Exactly. It's basically serves the same purpose as meditating whenever you feel like there's too much going on in your life, except here, it's specifically for your relationship status. Hope all is well for you in Canada, and you could retrieve your lost luggage.
@@blossombassey3863 thanks. That's what I keep telling myself for the past 40+ years ^^. I just hope I don't have to keep telling myself that for the next 40...
@@leahsfieldnotes now, to be clear, I'm not telling a sob story about myself. As I mentioned earlier, I'm perfectly comfortable being on my own. Being single this whole decade led me to travel and discover so many great places on my own that I would have had a hard time enjoying as much if I had someone else living rent free in my headspace. There is definitely something to be said about the beauty of travelling all alone. Travelling with someone, be it friends, family, or a lover is certainly great, you can share the experience, have lot of fun, and sacred moments together, but when you do so, you could go just about anywhere in the world, and it's still just a trip with your friend/family/lover taking centerstage. The main "characters" of the trip, is you and them, and your relationship together. On the other hand, travelling all alone is an entirely other beast ! When you discover a new place, city, country, food, smell, language... You're a sponge, your 5 senses are fully awakened, and you pay attention to everything around you (especially if like me, you're into street photography, devouring with your lens any new landscape, architecture, and actually paying attention to people that you just met, who can all potentially become surprise friends or lovers for one day/night/week that you'll keep in your memory for the rest of your life, as you just mentioned in your vid) ! Which is a pretty intoxicating feeling ! Over the years, my trips all over Taipei, Tainan, Taiwan's east coast HK, Fuzhou, Xiamen, Okinawa, Kyoto, Singapore... I keep sacred memories of all of them, and remember, even after 10 years, some of the people I met there for one night (while I keep forgetting the names of the people I meet weekly here in my now mundane life in Taipei) And I believe that feeling of absolute freedom to go wherever whenever however and sponging them deep in your psyche, there's definitely an allegory to be made with being single by choice. It is liberating to be just by yourself, when you put in the time and effort to grow on your own. It feels light to live without drama caused by the ups and down of relationships. It feels great to do whatever you want, watch any movie you want, eat wherever you want, go out on a trip, buy a new camera or lens, or any other costly gadget, all of that without having to justify, explain, or excuse yourself to anyone. So yeah, single life is comfortable. The downside of it is obviously the occasional "feeling lonely" moment (that can sometimes happen for quite a long time, not gonna lie), but it's always countered by the amount of freedom and levity such life brings you. Now, of course, I'm painting a rather limited portrait of what a couple is. That's probably because I have no idea what it feels like ! As I mentioned, I've been single almost all my life, and the longest relationship I've ever been into was one year... With the last 6 months being a long distance relationship, as she was working in China by then (and we ended up mutually breaking up because of being apart for so long). So I can only preach about my own chapel ^^. Which is also one of the reasons why I got so absorbed into your channel, as when I discovered it, you were still with Andrew, and the 2 of you weren't shy of communicating some of your private thoughts and process on life as a couple, which was really an eye opener to me, where I learned so much about coupling. And I must say thank you for that. Even though you 2 are no longer together, your beautiful time together shined a light upon many people in the world, including me, and I'm grateful that you have shared it. And even moreso grateful to you to keep sharing your solo adventures and growing pains and beauty, to this day. There is definitely something touching about your ever evolving public journal that is your channel ! You said that I was always replying the longest, most insightful replies to your vids, but that's basically my way of thanking you to actually teach me so much about love. So if I can bring anything of my own life wisdom to the table to also make you learn about some stuff in life, it's my pleasure, lovely young lady.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your feelings ❤ I love your message of expanding the space we have for ourselves and not just shutting down or frantically reaching for external distractions that will only prolong the healing process
You can literally die a virgin and still be a whole, valuable and worthy of a human being.
Not, according to Mazlow..
@@filippersson5256 if you are refering to the hierarchy of needs theory, sex is not the only form of fulfilling the belongingness and love needs. There are plenty others forms of intimacy so yes, someone can die a virgin and still be whole.
@@MarieKaulitz that is just fine, but can you name those other forms of intimacy?? I am actually curious and yes you nailed the reference!
@@filippersson5256 The intimacy that is required for humans is spending time with others and forming close relationships with others. Humans are social creatures and without social interactions we get sick. This is why social isolation is a serious punishment and why when babies are kept away from other humans they have severe mental problems.
Sex is not necessary other than for reproduction. You can abstain and still be perfectly healthy. The narrative that sex is necessary for humans is REALLY harmful and is what incels use to justify their hatred for women. I am not sure why people think this these days but it needs to stop.
100% accurate
“Life is long, there’s time for everything”, this is my new mantra!💙😭
the amount of reassurance and relief these few words gave me was really what I needed to hear, I'm so thankful.
This life is short bro
You can't say life is long because you don't know what the future holds.
Time flies when you're having fun, or when you are concentrating on things.. Time feels slow when life is tough. When you're young, you feel like you have all the time in the world, but there comes a time in life when you realize that you have less time rather than more.. Add in the fact that tomorrow is NEVER guaranteed. You can do everything right and your life may be affected by circumstances out of your control. When you look back, life is short.. Then you think about time you may have wasted. or money you wasted..
There's enough time if you focus on one thing lol
What if your life ends today?
I’m so proud of you for doing this for yourself and healing properly- not rushing into another relationship and just repeating the cycle. It makes me sad whenever people do fully heal themselves before going right into a relationship. It might be lonely but you can really find yourself and be alone with yourself. That can change you and your mind set so much. You can focus loving yourself and not stress about loving someone else, which can be tough. We love you Leah and hope you can heal, you deserve it!
Thank you for sharing this life story. Life is a meaningful journey with a purpose towards eternal life which is a true life and forever in heaven...
This is such a beautiful comment, being 6 months celibate myself it's a tough point in the journey. So thanks for this ❤
Women have it so easy
@@meisrerboot no but ok
@@777q lol yes, this entire video and comment section proves it. this is what you do, just as a free choice thing? This is what yall struggle with? Not being a hole for random men to use? wow
I’m 28 and been single my entire life. I have really flourished on my own in many ways but I’ve been ready for a relationship for a long time now. It sometimes feels like I’ve hit a glass ceiling. Now I’m trying to figure out how to navigate holding this desire. Too much of anything isn’t good for me. And while it’s been a blessing to have all this time for myself my heart has been ready for that special someone. 💐
Good luck!
give us an update when you find that special someone!
I'm 28 and have been single my entire life too :) hi!
Omg I’m 28 and I’ve been always single. I thought like it’s only me having no relationships till this age and something must have been wrong with me. Happy to hear that there are people like me ❤🎉
❤😢
im asexual (demisexual to be precise!) and i often go multiple years of not having sex in between partners, and i haven't been in a relationship since i was 19! it's been really wonderful for me to develop such a deep sense of understanding of myself and feel so whole as a single being. making a home in loneliness is a wonderful thing ❤ and also not being super focused on sex & relationships gives me so much more time to pursue my hobbies and passions and focus on the things in my life that make me feel like me!
Demisexual is just normal, not saying anything other than is abnormal but let's be honest nowadays hooking up has become more normal than just being a person who has sex after deeply connecting with a person
What is a demisexual
@@malihakarim1696 hi I’m demi as well and it’s definitely not the same as other people’s sexual experiences. If I’m not in a relationship I have no libido whatsoever. I don’t get crushes from physical attraction to people. I can recognize that some people are nice looking but I don’t feel any butterflies or fantasize about hooking up with people from looks alone. I have zero interest in porn. If you relate that’s cool, but I don’t think we need to invalidate people for choosing to identify with a label that best describes their experiences and how they feel. ❤
@@alanzapotocky4607 bro what
@@claja_ i think "invalidate" is the wrong word. They weren't knocking the label as much as it truly is rather unfortunate that society has gotten so sex-obsessed with hookup culture that another term needed to come along to describe the very manner that normal people have been behaving for many decades. Our society is so sexually permiscuous that being selective can lead to judgement.
The term describes a real thing, but that thing never needed explaining at all at all 50yrs ago. That said, I'm pretty much demisexual also but I don't particularly enjoy it..only because it's a catch 22 trying to find someone worth my time. I want to take the time to develop a connection with the right girl but the circumstances have to be just right for me to have any drive to make it happen. My sex drive is at the whim of those circumstances, and the little bit of drive I do have when one comes along yields no guarantee that she'll stick around for my interest to finally start to peak with hers. Timing is everything but when it clicks, you just know it.
i'm 17 and have never even touched hands with anyone. i know that i'm still very young and if any relationship is supposed to be in my life it will eventually come. but being single and just observing all the teenagers my age and younger being in long-term relationships and having sex when they were around 14 y.o has helped me to come from 'i wanna experience this' , constantly feeling left out and feeling like i'm not worthy of love, cause no one has ever liked me to this day, to realization that i don't really want to be in a relationship at all, that i'm okay on my own and i feel like i'm finally slowly starting to accept myself for who i am. i think i'm glad that i didn't start dating earlier, since all this years of me observing other people has left me with knowing my worth and i know that i'm never gonna settle for the bare minimum.
I feel exactly the same way. And I'm 21. It'll happen when it's supposed to happen and I'm just grateful that I didn't start dating earlier because it would have kept me from becoming who I am today.
@@joan_28 everything has its own benefits. we got this!
@@emman2052 thank you so much for sharing your story! everyone has their own journey, for some people it may sadly be something similar to yours. there's definitely no "right" age to start dating and having sex, some people need to wait, some people are ready even when they are 14. it is also great that we are able to analyze our experiences, learn so much from it and rebuild our relationships with ourselves. and i'm so glad that you're in a much better place now!!
I'm 32, still single
I think its important to have the mindset that romantic love isnt the most imprtant thing, there can be many different people in your life that love and value you, and this can make romantic relationships healthier because you wont rely in only one person! I hope you have a good day!
As someone who is 18 and entering adulthood- your videos mean so much to me! Just being able to watch you grow and learn to feel loved within yourself gives me so much hope
I’m so honoured 😭🤍
I wish I had this video when I was 18!
I’m also 18 and I feel the same!! she helps me grow so much
@@leahsfieldnotes A goddess walks among us
You don't need to be in a relationship to be fully content with your life. All you need is yourself and putting yourself first can make such a huge difference. There's nothing wrong with putting your needs and wants first before others. Sometimes you got to prioritize what really matters, and that is you.
this video is so validating to the celibate experience. I have been celibate for over a year after a heartbreak and the first few months were tough because I missed that closeness with the previous person I was seeing, that I couldn't imagine being physically intimate with someone else. About 6 months in, it became a clearer, more conscious choice for me, and presently I realize I have never looked inwards in my life until now.
I've gained so much clarity and my wants have changed to things that will honor my energy and soul. I have the willpower now to set boundaries and walk away if those are crossed. This year of celibacy has taught me that my relationship with myself is the most important one to have before anyone else comes along.
Sex is a beautiful thing and from my experience without it, I know when that time comes again with the right person, it'll make this journey even more worthwhile.
I just ended my 4 year relationship last week as I felt I had no idea how to survive in a world by myself...this video gives me so much hope and makes me feel I did the right thing! I hope to have made as strong strides as you have in your year ❤❤
literally same!
I've been single for about 6 years now after having multiple back to back relationships and it's been incredible! Having the time and energy to focus on working on myself instead of others has been such a blessing and way of healing for me. I'm so glad to hear you talk about the subject bc it's not talked about enough!
side note but I love whisper of the heart
It's wild how sex is a rare luxury for some people, and an abundant choice for others.
this
tell me about it
luxury? please pipe down and change ur priorities its all about mindset
Abundant choice ? Most that tend to get it in large numbers is not due to by “choice” aka sex workers
abundant lol
I'm 21 and never had it, it used to bother me but I've learned to accept it. Sex is not that big of a deal and I personally think I can have a fullfield life without it. Maybe Ill change in the future, but for now this is where I stand. Thanks for the lovely video, Leah 💚
this video literally made me cry, it’s so delicate and tender and heartwarming
This is exactly what I’m doing! Its already been a year for me. I overcare and lose myself in relationships. I can relate to suppressing “negative” emotions with love but by being single I’ve been able to heal and do self inventory.
So proud of u 🥺💪
Wow I took 6 months off from sex and it really changed everything for me! It really allowed me to heal from last traumas and relationship and just really learn more about loving myself! I’ve rented so much about this in my last couple YT videos cause holding space for your emotions create the greatest feeling! 💙
I’ve been celibate for over 3 years. And I’ve been closing myself off to romantic interests for 2 years. For me, it’s partly religious. But I think it’s a good breather for anyone of any background to have. It’s an experience within itself just like romance is an experience of its own. I think life is beautiful regardless of love. And realizing that only makes the idea of love so much more beautiful and magical.
It's so inspiring how you were able to use the breakup as an opportunity to deconstruct, reevaluate and reconnect to transform your life. I am coming out from a very long period of burnout and depression and these videos really help me remember that I don't have to follow the pre-determined paths society pressures us to stick to, that I can make this life what I want it to be! Thank you so much for posting them and for being so open and have the courage to be so vulnerable! P.S: how did you manage to make so many wonderful friendships and attract so many cool people into your life? Please share your tips
They were all people I met from making videos!!! which I guess is my way of “putting myself out there” 😄
this is one of the best videos you've ever made and I loved every second!!! as a 24 yr old who's never been in a romantic relationship or dated or had sex, this video really hit and made me so grateful that I have also learned a lot of the things that you did and I feel so affirmed!!
Ugh the timing of this video is so helpful… I’m currently going through my first ever major breakup (a partner of 2.5 years) and your point about self-encouragement resonated with me so much. I’ve already spent so much time doing things with myself that I wish I did more during my relationship. It’s validating to hear someone else say that they didn’t do as many activities/tasks/self-work as they would have liked to while with a partner. I’ve been feeling a lot of shame surrounding this- as though I wasn’t strong/focused enough to juggle everything (friends, hobbies, work, my partner) while in a long term relationship. Cultivating a relationship with yourself is a really beautiful thing and it makes complete sense that we sometimes have to be single to fully commit to ourselves. Thanks for this Leah ❤️
This content is so timely. I’m about to go celibate again for the second time, first time was 4 years and now I plan to do this journey again for 2 years so I can focus on myself and flourish in other aspects of my life. I wanna be the best person that I can be for me and my future partner. Thank you Leah, your content is always appreciated ❤
this makes me rekindle my interest in no dating and no sex. thank you for sharing and these shots are all mesmerizing :')
I'm in college in a very intense major and am always super stressed and "working 24/7" (aka I work all the time besides sucking myself into my phone all the time). Watching your videos, I see you go out and go to amazing places and do amazing things with your life and be in the beautiful outdoors. Thank you for reminding me what's out there.
you got this 😭🤍
so relatable!! don't forget that we work to live and not live to work
leah this video is so visually stunning and full of amazing words. i love all your videos so so much and this might be my favorite. i feel like i saw so much more of your life over the past year than i knew about! you capture everything so beautifully. i love you so much ♡
awww thank u so much Ava 🥹💕💕
me too! I’ve been single with no sex for nine months now. I never actually decided to be celibate but it happened that way because I am demisexual and since I was healing from my past relationship and not really interested in superficial flings, it just happened that way. I agree with you completely. Loved your video, your insights, I am also trying to give myself what I want from others and I also get so much love from my existing friendships, like words of affirmation or physical touch❤ it’s really beautiful. Thanks for sharing! Lots of love Leah!
wow, thank you so much for sharing this. i’m someone who has had really intense relationships where i have one main person since i was 13 and i’d sacrifice anything and so much of myself for them. it was incredibly helpful to see how you broke a similar pattern. this is so beautiful and you should be so proud.
Leah i have to tell you something that really blew my mind! When you talked about your experience of skinny-dipping in the ocean under the moon, i instantly thought about a similar experience i had in the summer when i was visiting Sicily, so i looked at my camera roll and found out, that it was the same freaking day!! Truly magical 🥰
It makes me feel like we were somehow connected that day even though you don’t know me haha
Just had to tell you about this :)
Wow!!! I found out through one of the girls that it’s a really special astrological day called Lions Gate Portal! Which is why we all decided to go for that moonlight swim! So beautiful that u did too :’)
this is so important! it's easy to fall back into depending on other people and romantic relationships, so proud 💗💗
I’m moving to brighton next year so seeing you make such a nice connection with two people you had just met there makes me feel so reassured! I can’t wait to live next to a big body of water for the first time, it feels like it’ll be a comforting and consistent presence for when i feel lonely or homesick.
i have no words for this awesome talk and piece of art. i started a journey like this myself a couple of weeks ago. i was so surprised about this video coming out today. i can already feel things changing inside me and your video makes me exited for what it to come, even if it sometimes scares the hell out of me when i look closely at myself and discover all the other coping mechanisms and all the feelings (of which I had no idea i could feel them) coming up. i have been watching your videos for three years and in this one you seem to be so calm, down to earth und connected with yourself, it touches me deeply, there were a fears running down my cheeks. it takes so much courage to step out of old circles, so you have my deep esteem. much love straight from my heart to yours.
I’m only 4 minutes in and I’m in literal tears. I feel so much everything you’re saying you had to go through. Even tho I’ve been single for my 22 years of life I can still relate so much to every single word you’re saying and I can’t help but feel this deep emotion within myself. I feel respect and admiration for how well you’re managing something I’ve been trying to heal for many many years now. Thank you for helping me feel all this today, thank you for being the word I needed to hear rn in my journey.
You’ve always been a little angel for me ever since I found you so long ago. I only wish for you to know how important this video and you have been for me. Sending you aaaall my love and warmest hugs 💗⭐️🌷
Awwwww sending you so much love and hugs your way 🥹🫂🤍
Hi Leah, i have been one of your subscribers since 2021. I was at my lowest point of my life yet i found your videos and made me keep going up until now. Anxiety comes and go but your video will always bring joy to my day. I'm happy to see you using your freedom in the positive way, freedom is a privilege that I believe not everyone could have. I wish I could have the chance to travel and to explore more of what life has got to offer as much as you have been through. Thank you for making these videos and share your life experiences with us :)
Almost 21 years without sex, dating and relationships . A life long maraphon
you didn't even do masturbation?
I'm going through a breakup right now and remembered what it was like watching your navigating a breakup video series a year ago. Both then and now, I'm stunned by your grace, sincerity, and centeredness. When you were talking about being in back-to-back relationships since you were 17 it really made me reflect on how I've been in my on-and-off relationship since I was 17, and now I'm 21. I never realized until the "off" periods (which are typically very brief) that I have no clue what it's like being single as an adult, and similar to you, I tend to depend on my partner for a lot of emotional needs. You've progressed so much in the past year that you've been celibate and I hope that as I enter this next stage in my life that I can heal the parts of me that I'm neglecting, and fill my life with as much joy as you've filled yours. Watching this video has me in awe of you and I wish you further peace and joy 😸❤
I’m going to start doing this! I managed three months before I used sex as a self harm/sabotage (which is something I definitely need to heal from) and it’s so affirming to see someone else actively being celibate!
First part that I did: I deleted those dreaded dating apps!
i’m a loveless aroace, my whole life i’ve viewed others with this lens so watching this video was really eye opening for me! i’ve never been able to comprehend how someone’s sex life and sexual/romantic relationships can affect someone so much but hearing about how eye opening it’s been for u in regards to celibacy is really heartwarming!! wishing u all the best on ur journey leah :DD
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever got is to not look at being single as a transitional period in-between relationships, but as a valid state of its own.
I feel like in todays day and age, the pressure to be in a relationship and/or s*xually active is really high. Especially among my peers (20-somethings) but also with ppl of other ages around me… and I went as far as to question my self-worth as a result.
On the other hand, there has never been a time in my life when I was more focused on healing myself. There is nothing more powerful than unpacking everything kept in the darkest corners of your mind, despite how painful it is at first. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m convinced that everything has its own timing, and this is the stage where it’s about me and my well-being only. While I still crash and burn on the regular, I’m also trying my best to practice patience, self-compassion and going to therapy. There is a lot of truth to the saying “In order to be accepted, you have to accept yourself first.”
Thank you for leading this conversation, Leah! It’s something I often reflect on and I admire how you’re being so outspoken and vulnerable about your experience ❤
Leah, I resonated with this video so much that I burst into tears while eating breakfast 😅 I've been wanting to nurture this kind of change within myself since recently going through a tough breakup. Heavy emphasis on the cultivating new friendships part, but it seems so hard to find those ppl!! Are there any other viewers in nyc (or really anywhere) who wanna connect? I feel like this is such a warm and genuine community :,)
Hi! I’m on a totally different part of the world (in Mallorca), but I would love to connect with people around the world too! Your comment reminds me so much of my current situation and feelings, so if you want to talk or share anything, tell me and we can exchange numbers ❤
I just sincerely want to thank you for purely existing and sharing all these amazing experiences with the world. I've only recently discovered your channel in the last couple of months and it ha quicly became one of my favorite things on the internet. Just seeing your videos, early in the morning, has helped me so much struggling with severe anxiety and overall just feeling heavly overwhelmed thinking about "having to exist". You always show the slow, quiet life everyone always forget about and it makes such an impact in my everyday life that the least i can do is thanking you and keep supporting you the best i can. Thank you so so much for doing what you do and I sincerely wish you all the best possible, because you are an amazing human being
I'm currently about 2 months into my celibacy journey and the trials and crushes are definitely aplenty. But I'm finding so much peace and connection to my self. I'm investing so much time into my hobbies and into my mental health journey. I don't know how long I will keep going, at least a year but maybe more. I already know it's going to be one of the most important spiritual and self care practices of my life.
I used to get in relationships all the time & even when I tried to stop someone would come along and I’d say “but I’ll miss this chance with them” so when you said we can find each other again or something along the lines that really hit home. My year of celibacy ended a few months ago & it was beautiful, I moved in the middle of it and I’ve gained so many new friends and spent so much time with myself I think I’ve fallen in love
thank uuuu I’ve had a crush on a friend that doesn’t like me back for a long time and this helped me realise I don’t have to suppress it or suffer for him not feeling the same or to live thinking of what he thinks about me
I will just admire him and laugh and play with him and just love him in this way not wanting more
this video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time for me, im struggling so much with self love and pouring so much of myself into this idealized partner. you speaking about pouring all of those wishes and new experiences into yourself was very affirming. little by little im trying to be more okay with myself and i realize my main focus is surrounded by becoming a better me so i can be fit as a partner when this reframed my thinking that i should yes be the best me for myself, but also my friends and loved ones. your vulnerability about lacking pouring into your friendships is something i’ve regretfully realized about myself. i hope this year (my birthday is in a few days) i can challenge myself to be that loving person inside and out.
This is not about relationships, but you inspire and motive me. I am a high school senior and I am going through so much stress and burnout, but I still keep pushing. Next year, I plan to take a gap year (to learn German and go to uni un Germany) and be alone in a country I don’t know. Your videos give me so much hope and courage to push myself through hard thoughts of living and spending time alone. Thank you❤
I've been going through a similar experience lately of understanding, healing and reconnecting with myself, so this video helped me to reassure that this is a process and eventually things will get better and make more sense. I'm really glad it's working for you and I hope you're doing well! And thank you for your amazing content, the cinematography, the editing, the shared experiences, thoughts and knowledge, everything is as refreshing and comforting as ever. Take care Leah, much peace and love from Brazil!🤍🤍
hi leah, i love how your videos always come at the right timing whenever i need a reminder that the world is so vast and there’s so much worth living for, my tears suddenly sprang out during the part when you talk about your relationships with friends and family because its something that i hadn’t been able to prioritize lately due to work, i can’t describe how much of ur vids (especially this one) brings me comfort and soothes me during my bad days, thank you for existing and thank you for sharing parts of your life with us, i wish you a long, happy, healthy, and fulfilling life
I have quite a problem with relationships and affection because by the time I decided that I would no longer be forcing myself to feel attracted to people nor accepting in my life people that don't treat me kindly, I simply stopped enjoying being around others. I really want to make connections and love deeply, but I feel that I can never achieve it, everyone and everything seems to cold. I don't really know how to deal with the loneliness that comes with it, but Leah's videos always makes me feel better and hopefull ❤ thank you so much for your content
i took a 9 month break from sex + romance in 2022, first by accident and then it became intentional. it did wonders for my relationship to sex, my body, and myself as well as for my coming into my queerness fully. thank you for making this video!
This video is so calming and yet so empowering, it’s everything I needed to hear. I’m struggling now with a breakup and I feel it is time for me to stay alone for a year but yet I still catch myself chasing for love😢
thank you for sharing this and being so vulnerable with us Leah 💕
i am currently doing this. i exited a relationship that wasn’t fulfilling the new person i am growing into and i wanted to give myself the freedom to know myself and do what i wanted without considering someone else’s needs first(not in a selfish or cruel way ofc). i have come to understand that i will be the only constant person in my life not matter who i meet and i want to be able to care for myself fully and truthfully. leah, you inspired me to continue this year of introspection, as i share many of your sentiments towards honoring one’s self and your passion for life and the things around you. thank you and take care
Thank u leah! For being so relatable to many. You’ve been through such a hard long time! Heavy hard feelings for many months is so hard but here u are now and so i am. We’re together after all thank u thank u for being here
I have watch your channel off and on for a while. Your new enlightenment and sharing your personal self growth is something of this new generation and can be hard to accept for a lot of older generations. This process that you are sharing we all go through and yes we either embrace it or ignore it because of our up bring. As a BabyBoomer with old views I thank it is a good thing that your doing (sharing your personal growth). As human beings we struggle to find our way through or just thoughtlessly follow the old ways of expected society. I believe that knowledge is the key to life and no matter the age, race or back round you can always learn something. Who knows your sharing might save some one’s life. 👍🏽Thank you.
Since my last relationships, I explored myself so much, what my life goals were, who I was, what I liked, what I disliked. I am so happy on my own though I'm not sure I'd want to meet someone right now. But celibaty is the best thing that happened to me lately. I feel so free to do anything at anytime, I have created my own opinions and personnality as long as life choices as well and I am so unbothered, by basically anything. I am on the quest to find my peace and the spirituality within myself. I am simply decluttering my life which feels wonderful.
You're growing so beautifully Leah, warms my heart.
Leah, the openness and authenticity you have in this video, giving us little slices of ur life thru these beautiful clips, was so so touching I’m so proud of u and this is one of my favorite videos of urs ❤❤
I loved this sm. I came out of a 4 year relationship recently and after dating a bit initially I've found myself much more drawn to being alone and putting the energy into different forms of intimacy and as you put it, "dating my friends". It's making me really value the other relationships in my life, particularly with myself and plantoic romances, in a way that's reaffirmed how much the societal valuing of romantic love is just completely skewed. So nice to hear someone else echoing these thoughts back ❤
i love hearing your perspective leah! i was celibate for ~15 mo. last year. did a lot of healing from an abusive relationship, grew a lot, but also wrestled with many feelings of loneliness and tendency to be isolative. i think there is always more to learn in the ways we relate to others through intimacy whether that be sexually or non-sexually.
my partner of 4 years and i just broke up, and it was mutual. i’m glad your videos about navigating a break up/being single for the first time in a while are here ❤ i really love your vids and your perspectives :)
Thank you Leah for sharing this. I've just entered my celibacy period after 3 years of being in a really meaningful relationship. It is a very disorienting and rich journey and it is so interesting and great to see you being so curious and inquisitive about your emotions, desires and energy flows. Sending you so much love
I'm 30 & have been single my whole life. Before my 30th birthday last year I joined a app for the first time. Growing up I felt you had to have your life together before being with someone "I never felt ready to date" After talking with friends they told me to go for it & recommended an app to get started. I'm glad I did, the people I've come across have been lovely & made the process of dating less intense than I thought it would be. I also came out earlier that year as bi (2022) & it has been so freeing. 2021 was a year of exploration for me where I allowed myself to follow my attraction freely. Lastly as someone with no sexual experience it's been interesting learning what arousal feels like with in the body for me. Thank you for sharing your experience!
That’s so amazing! I’m really happy for you 🤗🤗🤗
@@leahsfieldnotes Thank you!! Wishing you the best on your journey!
This video hits hard! All of the self-discovery practices which you have put to use honestly feel like everything I would like to do for myself and more. It really is hard drawing a line between toxicity in your life and a healthy form of self-care.
I've don't the celibacy thing for 22 years. My asexuality caused this. 😂
But as someone that has never dated I find it very interesting that people go through a _no dating journey_ because nit dating has been my norm.
this video was really moving, i kept getting emotional throughout it haha. i think you are so beautiful and wise, leah. i'm 18 years old now, leaving school and going off to university soon and there is so much i want to do with my life and so many different ways i want to grow, but i also fear making the wrong choices or "wasting time", but you've really made me realise how much time there is out there, and made me excited instead of frightened of the future. to me you really feel like some sort of guide for my spirit whom i can always count on for your advice and wisdom. thank you 🌸❤
awww zsa zsa you’re going to have the greatest of times in all its highs and lows! I hope our paths cross again and I’ll get to hear about the stories you’re about to make :’) 🤍
this is beautiful, your words and your cinematography. i've been relearning what love is and your videos always remind me to come back to what i find important in life instead of getting carried away with what other people tell me will make me happy
i almost cried about your experience with nature, it just felt so beautiful ~
Hi Leah! I love to see you grow more in peace with your soul each day, i find it very inspiring. You have so much talent when it comes to sharing your feelings with videos and words! Thank you for sharing snippets of your life with us
Thank you once again for sharing your genuine thoughts on feelings you encountered during the past stages of your life (and your relationship) which are so intimate and yet is something everyone who has experienced breakups will very likely encounter. Your reconnection with your female friends and with nature is so precious and beautiful. 💛 Yes, one beautiful thing about love is that it does not have to be presented in the form of romantic gestures to potential partners but that same degree of warmth and energy can be transferred to people whom you care (without seeing them as romantic partners).
I also found that walking in forests or just being in connection to nature is a good way to learn to listen to your own thoughts without judgement and in turn, you learn to be kinder to yourself. Keep being kinder to yourself as you are being kind to others 🥰
Hi Leah! This video hit me differently (in a good way). I love seeing how you grow and navigate through life. I’ve honestly been having a difficult time accepting myself as I am, but it’s really encouraging to see you become more patient and caring and attentive to yourself. Here’s to living slowly, compassionately, and presently. Thank you
It's been 9 since singlehood and celibacy and it's beem tough.
The first 4 months, i was too traumatized to even speak to guys. After then i started becoming desperate bc the loneliness was getting to me. And now it's acceptance.. starting to realize that no one's worth my time and now know what i want and I won't settle.
It's been so difficult though :( bc i love love. And the loneliness gets bad, but yeah I'm trying to makw it through. We are enough for ourselves ❤️
i love how real you are about the world, feelings, mental health, etc. on the internet. i feel like a lot of people can relate to you, or feel at peace with your video's. lots of love and i wish you the best!
How did such a young woman reach into the knowledge bank of human experience and grasp it so precisely? Leah is a jewel 💖😌!
You have gained so much wisdom. Watching you grow and trying to grow alongside you has been such a wonderful experience.
You r the biggest rolemodel for me all of my friends knows "if lari feels bad give her a video from leahsfieldnotes" u cheered me up in one of my worst life times i've ever had after my mom and dog passed away (in 2021-2022) and after all of that ur videos still give me that comfort to feel safe and home it honestly feels like a sleep over w a good friend to watch ur videos over and over again
So thank you. Thank you sm for beeing here for me !! I love you🩶 much love from germany
I hope I can always make videos to cheer u up 😭😭💗💕💕
I've been celibate for three years, and it has been the most powerful years of my life. It was confusing and scary at first but now I recognize it as imperative to my love for myself and self-fulfillment. During this time I have received the most love I've ever had in my life. The friendships I have gained have taught me so much and reflected my own love for others back at me. I am so grateful for this time and have so much peace and the fulfillment I struggled with in my past relationships.
To add a bit to my previous point :
Now, to be clear, I'm not telling a sob story about myself. As I mentioned earlier, I'm perfectly comfortable being on my own. Being single this whole decade led me to travel and discover so many great places on my own that I would have had a hard time enjoying as much if I had someone else living rent free in my headspace. There is definitely something to be said about the beauty of travelling all alone. Travelling with someone, be it friends, family, or a lover is certainly great, you can share the experience, have lot of fun, and sacred moments together, but when you do so, you could go just about anywhere in the world, and it's still just a trip with your friend/family/lover taking centerstage. The main "characters" of the trip, is you and them, and your relationship together. The place you're visiting is just an exotic background.
On the other hand, travelling all alone is an entirely other beast ! When you discover a new place, city, country, food, smell, language... You're a sponge, your 5 senses are fully awakened, and you pay attention to everything around you (especially if like me, you're into street photography, devouring with your lens any new landscape, architecture, and actually paying attention to people that you just met, who can all potentially become surprise friends or lovers for one day/night/week that you'll keep in your memory for the rest of your life, as you just mentioned in your vid) !
Which is a pretty intoxicating feeling !
Over the years, my trips all over Taipei, Tainan, Taiwan's east coast HK, Fuzhou, Xiamen, Okinawa, Kyoto, Singapore... I keep sacred memories of all of them, and remember, even after 10 years, some of the people I met there for one night (while I keep forgetting the names of the people I meet weekly here in my now mundane life in Taipei)
And I believe that feeling of absolute freedom to go wherever whenever however and sponging them deep in your psyche, there's definitely an allegory to be made with being single by choice.
It is liberating to be just by yourself, when you put in the time and effort to grow on your own. It feels light to live without drama caused by the ups and down of relationships. It feels great to do whatever you want, watch any movie you want, eat wherever you want, go out on a trip, buy a new camera or lens, or any other costly gadget, all of that without having to justify, explain, or excuse yourself to anyone.
So yeah, single life is comfortable.
The downside of it is obviously the occasional "feeling lonely" moment (that can sometimes happen for quite a long time, not gonna lie), but it's always countered by the amount of freedom and levity such life brings you.
Now, of course, I'm painting a rather limited portrait of what a couple is. That's probably because I have no idea what it feels like ! As I mentioned, I've been single almost all my life, and the longest relationship I've ever been into was one year... With the last 6 months being a long distance relationship, as she was working in China by then (and we ended up mutually breaking up because of being apart for so long).
So I can only preach about my own chapel ^^.
Which is also one of the reasons why I got so absorbed into your channel, as when I discovered it, you were still with Andrew, and the 2 of you weren't shy of communicating some of your private thoughts and process on life as a couple, which was really an eye opener to me, where I learned so much about coupling.
And I must say thank you for that. Even though you 2 are no longer together, your beautiful time together shined a light upon many people in the world, including me, and I'm grateful that you have shared it.
And even moreso grateful to you to keep sharing your solo adventures and growing pains and beauty, to this day. There is definitely something touching about you, and how you appear in your ever evolving public journal that is your channel !
You said that I was always replying the longest, most insightful replies to your vids, but that's basically my way of thanking you to actually teach me so much about love. So if I can bring anything of my own life wisdom to the table to also make you learn about some stuff in life, it's my pleasure, lovely young lady.
honestly I was impressed by the way you put your thoughts into words
@@zinebsamad0553 glad you enjoyed it.
I'm usually the kind of guy who listens, but when I do have stuff to write, my fingers are running on their own ^^.
thats reallyy greattt , do you usually comment on her videos ? because ive never read yours 😭
@@zinebsamad0553 oh, I comment on pretty much all her vids.
But since they are usually that long, nobody bothers reading them, so they stay low in likes and ranking.
But I don't care, most of the time, I'm really just writing for Leah, so as long as she sees it, I'm perfectly satisfied.
Now if you want to know more about me, feel free to dig a bit deeper in her previous vids's comments. It's gonna be a great excuse to revisit her past videos.
Hi Leah I just wanted to tell you that your videos really inspire me. This has been my comfort channel over the years and I really look up to you. The thoughtful way you articulate yourself gives me hope that change is attainable for me because you break it down in a way that eases my anxiety about the future. I hope you continue to make these videos that you put so much love and hard work into for years to come
This video is so pure and real. Thank you for sharing your life and experiences with us so openly and helping other people feel less alone. It sounds like you've manage to do a lot of reflection, growing, and healing.
As a 26 year old virgin man, someone just choosing to avoid sex feels so weird and it's an incredible contrast. My life is literal hell for people like you.
This video is incredibly helpful for broken hearts, yearning to grow, and moving through fear. I really really appreciate being able to come here when I need some light from the other side. Thank you x
I related with almost everything you shared, also been celibate for a year to heal my PTSD (which is not healed but im on my way) and i learned to be more tender with myself and in my relationships, what i enjoy and i really related to "becoming a better partner by being a better partner for myself". Thank you for sharing, is so important to talk about these sorts of things. Felt very nice to listen to someone with a similar experience. All love to you on your journey
your content always resonates as a fellow young person and truly makes me feel seen. it is such a comfort for me, thank you for all the effort that goes into making these videos
I can not tell you how much I needed this video. Thank you Leah 😊
After breaking up, I felt my own breath, lots of my own space and time to do whatever I want without have to asking or waiting for anyone to agree on my plan.😍💃💕❣️
During the recent eclipse (I’ve usually never taken these things too seriously) but I found myself overwhelmed and restless thinking about my past relationship that ended badly. I took some time off and when swimming. I spent some time reflecting on my inability to relax and let myself be and how much I was affected by this idea of the ideal romance or partner and how dependent I was on finding this. I use it to soothe myself which is really unhealthy and a pattern I need to get rid off. The next day I decided I need to set this boundary if I’m going to be able to let go off this obsession. I’m a little scared to go on this journey and I’m not urge what to expect or I’m too worried about the end result but I know this is important. Thank you Leah, I’m really glad you put this out here. I’m hoping to come back here to review how the year has been for me. This felt like a warm hug ❤
I'm very proud of you for pushing through this whole year of celibacy. I hope you learned more about yourself after just this one year. Your video gave me a newfound appreciation for my life. You honestly inspire me to be better to myself and cultivate more love into the relationships I have in my life. Thank you, Leah.
I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I’ve been requiring less emotional compatibility from potential partners than my friendships. I would end up in a situationship I felt very ambivalent towards until the other person broke things off, but the last time this happened I finally broke it off myself after realizing. Now I’ve promised to myself that I’m not even going to focus on dating at all, I’m putting my energy towards hobbies, friendships, uni but if I meet somebody and develop strong feelings for them only then will I entertain dating again. I also fall into the demisexual label I think, and the fact that I don’t really want to have sex without a stronger emotional connection made me feel like something was wrong with me when people in those ambivalent (on my end) situationships wanted more intimacy.
Your videos, while slightly different scenarios, have been helpful to me in accepting what I need to do for myself in this period of my life.
Been going through so much…this video came as a hand being extend to me…I feel like I am looking at a glimpse of the other side ….the side I’m scared to go to. Thank you so much for sharing this ❤
it’ll get better!!😭🤍
@@leahsfieldnotes that actually means a lot 🥲🫶🏼🫶🏼 ty!
I'm almost 23 and I haven't had a boyfriend before, sometimes I feel bad about it because it makes me thinks... am I so ugly that nobody wants me?... I think this has caused me to always be comparing myself to others and to worry more and more about my looks, not for myself but for others. I used to feel that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like this... til' I stopped caring about it and what others thinks...
Now I understand that the only thing I should worry about is myself and that I shouldn't give in to the pressures of others, it's okay not to be in a relationship and it's okay to be on your own. Not everything revolves around being in a couple, thanks for ur video Leah! ❤
This might be my favorite video of yours to date Leah. I'm coming out of a six year relationship that I thought brought me comfort only to realize it's robbed me of all confidence and sense of self. As soon as I began to step away I felt like I could breathe again and decided I wouldn't focus on intimate relationships at all for a while and the experiences, thoughts, and feelings you shared here are exactly what I was starting to get a glimpse of just days after. Having a partner can be a beautiful experience, but sometimes we stay in something because of familiarity and don't realize we aren't able to nurture ourselves simultaneously while giving all of our energy to that one person. Like you said, growth comes from challenging our comfort zone. And while I am choosing myself, it means giving up a major portion of how I've come to know and live my live. It's starting from scratch and it's scary. Watching this is so affirming for where I'm currently at and gives me so much excitement to see where I'll go. Thank you for this.
(Plus, the way you edited and put this whole video together is just SO beautiful and moving and touching, top tier I love it sm)
I can relate 100%! The first year or two (varies person to person) is difficult and slowly you start finding joy in life. There is a lot of learning that happens once you let go.
I have been like this for almost 3 years, it has been liberating. I am building my identity. As a woman who started dating early and for a good few years, for me it was necessary to build who I really am.
My only concern at the moment is how I will get out of this bubble that is so comfortable and intuitive.
It has been an incredible experience, of growth, and today I see things with new eyes. The relationships, in short, everything is very aggregating.
I made this decision voluntarily and without much pretension.
I really like how you talk about giving your friends the 'partner' treatment. I talk to my friends about seeing them on the same level as my partner because it gives the feeling of a deeper connection/relationship with them!
This was such a wonderful video to watch from start to finish. I think seeing all your growth this past year has been incredibly inspiring and it makes me want to continue to push myself to get out of my comfort zone. I am married but I think it's so important to not grow stagnant within a relationship and I love that my husband encourages me to try new things without him and also nurture my female friendships because they truly matter so much. Thank you Leah for all your videos and reflections about your life I love following your journey
that’s so beautiful 🥹💕
Thank you for sharing this 😊 I have decided to enter celibacy after the breakup of my first relationship of 5 years. I think a part of me tries to avoid anything related to romance, love, intimacy… but I’m excited to take this time to focus only on me! I spent too much energy, mental space thinking about and for my ex the past 5 years. I want to use this time for me and me only!
This is amazing. A well edited video with a grounded message about life and relationships. Reminds me of Diane from Bojack Horseman when she goes to Vietnam after divorcing Mr. Peanutbutter and in the end realizes that although she is alone, and feels alone at times, she is capable of surviving through those tough emotions and experiences. Kudos Leah!
Finally had time to sit down and watch this video, and it didn’t disappoint - so peaceful and truthful - thank you for sharing this beautiful video Leah!!! Hope anyone reading this has a nice day xx
Woaw ! Another big topic ! You're on a roll !
I never know how long my answers should be, since I know the time window in which you read the comments is usually fairly limited, and by the time I finish typing my comment, half the time, you're already gone to shoot/edit the next vid ^^ (I have no idea if you've seen the one I left on your previous vid).
So I'll try to keep it short this time. If you want a more in-depth TLDR , we can keep discussing it in Insta DM later (right now, I'm about to start teaching an animation workshop, so I can't write too long anyway).
Lovely insights, Leah. I'm really happy that you seem to have gone through a breakthrough in getting to know yourself more, and be able to recognize all the issues you used to face while falling back to back into relationships. Long term celibacy definitely is a great tool to get to know yourself, what you want, what you don't want anymore, what your limits are, and which ones you can break through.
I would say, however, it's also a bit of a double edged sword, and as with everything good, it must be used with caution.
I come from the polar opposite of you, growing up, I almost always was single.
At first not by choice (Asian boys were not exactly the rage, in conservative Belgium during the 90's), but after moping and feeling dejected about it for my teenage years, when I got to 20, I decided to take the bull by the horns and get to discover (and improve) myself. And step by step, that's exactly what I did !
After much deliberation between taking a "safe" path for fulfilling my parents expectations, and doing what I always wanted to do ever since I was a kid (drawing), I took up animation studies, one of my childhood dreams (cemented in my mind after I saw Princess Mononoke for the first time at the end of my high school years), then rediscovered chinese culture & philosophies (especially Daoism), started learning chinese cooking, fell in love with chinese classic litterature and martial arts movies, took up kung fu, qigong and taiji classes for 2-3 years, started dressing up and grooming as a character straight up from a kung fu film (like you saw)... in the meantime, my studies both in animation and in martial arts have led me to become much sharper, both with my eyes, but also mentally, with much more self confidence, sense of observation and overall sense of analysis through crafting minutely detailed audiovisual storytelling, and patience (since animation requires TONS of it, as it's really a painful drop by drop process)...
And with the combination of all of these, I had sculpted a mind with a level of open-mindedness, curiosity about the world, independence, critical thinking and, yes, I'll call it wisdom, at a fairly young age, that I was actually quite proud of.
By the time I was 24, after a long chrysalid period, I had attained what I believe to be my final form, one that I have faithfully kept up until today.
And I loved it !
As a matter of fact, I still love it to this day.
In fact, I'm loving it so much that I equate my celibacy to freedom, and felt that any relationship, which is always about compromise, would actually hamper said freedom and just bring me down a peg.
For the longest time (still quite a bit to this day), I was so infatuated with myself and my own new comfort zone, that I really wasn't very much looking for a relationship at all, and while I was certainly more flirty than ever, thanks to my newly found self-confidence, I was actually fairly rejecting of girls who were showing me signs of actual long-term attraction.
I had essentially become afraid of commitment, due to the want of staying true to myself.
And if I actually found someone who I really loved enough to accept changing myself to be a better fit to her, and compromise on my freedom, she would need to be reeeal worth it ! Since I'm myself living quite out of the box (artist, animator, in love with Chinese traditions and philosophies, but with typical INTP overthinking), she'd have to be someone who just wows me ! Someone truly special and out of this world herself !
(Not that they don't exist, I certainly have met some, but for a plethora of different reasons, a relationship with any of them just never happened).
And here we are, 20 years later.
I'm in my early 40's, now, way past the age of starting into an actual family (not that it's impossible, but it's certainly much harder now, and yes, even for men), unable to find anyone my age, most likely because at this age everybody is already either married with kids, or just... With kids. Which is never ideal, to start dating someone who's already a mother, and care about kids that are not your own (I've heard quite a few horror stories of nasty breakups, and men who basically raised and cared about the kids as their own, were overnight forbidden to see them after the breakup), and having been celibate for over 10 years now, and sexless for over 5 years, I feel like even if I found someone that wows me, and made me wanna drop my lifestyle... I wouldn't even know what to do with her and how to behave myself if I was to try to court her, let alone be living with her. How the heck would I be able to satisfy her when I'm so used to just take care of myself (and not always being successful at that, since I'm an independent artist, thus usually unemployed, thus broke) ?
And you might say "what about younger girls & women ?" Well, I'm the kind of guy who, when I was younger, used to crush hard on girls... Who were always snatched by much older dudes ! And I kept quite a grudge to these guys.
Now having grown myself to be of that age, I just don't want to repeat the cycle. To me, in the society we're living, it's easy for girls to feel more secure in the hands of older men. There is always a underlying subconscious layer of daddy issues that has always been enabled by patriarchic societies all over the planet since ancient times, and since everybody has been doing it since the dawn of times, then it's kinda ok'd by society at large.
Well, not for me !
I'm not ok with that. I feel girls should grow with their partner instead of grow under them. Everybody who's dating should learn the same mistakes at the same age, and figure out how to overcome them together, instead of having one side bringing all the convenient answers.
Which is why even if I do happen to have some severe crush on girls much younger than me (and yes, spoiler alert, it does sometimes happen, I'm still a human being), I just remind myself that they could be of the age of my daughter or niece (if I had any), and just... Nope !
So now, I'm kinda back to where I was at the beginning. Celibate, not by choice anymore, but by circumstances bigger than me, that are not gonna get any better as time passes...
Well, so much for trying to keep it short...
So yeah, all in all, none of these concerns should hamper you down right now.
You're in your absolute prime, you're easily one of the prettiest and most lovely girls on the planet, with a magnetic charm, living your best life, discovering lovely people all over the world, and as you've seen recently, you can move a small army of people to come see you at the end of the world with just a single last minute IG story. So I have no problem imagining you having a mini army of pretendantsof all genders coming after you, should you announce that your celibacy has now ended and you're now looking for someone (even though I have a solid hunch you won't need to as you seem to have already found someone) ^^
I'm just putting it here as something to keep in the corner of your mind that the siren's call of celibacy and self love and discovery is very tempting, and like all good things, at some point, it shouldn't last too long.
But for now and the coming years, oh yeah sure, go ahead and enjoy !
that’s a good point about being a double edged sword! though for me that year was long enough for the time being 😅 It helped me realise that a period of celibacy is always something that can be tapped into whenever it feels fitting!
@@leahsfieldnotes Exactly. It's basically serves the same purpose as meditating whenever you feel like there's too much going on in your life, except here, it's specifically for your relationship status.
Hope all is well for you in Canada, and you could retrieve your lost luggage.
@@jjstarrprod this was beautiful to read im sure anyone would be lucky and happy to have you! thank you for sharing have a nice day
@@blossombassey3863 thanks.
That's what I keep telling myself for the past 40+ years ^^.
I just hope I don't have to keep telling myself that for the next 40...
@@leahsfieldnotes now, to be clear, I'm not telling a sob story about myself. As I mentioned earlier, I'm perfectly comfortable being on my own. Being single this whole decade led me to travel and discover so many great places on my own that I would have had a hard time enjoying as much if I had someone else living rent free in my headspace. There is definitely something to be said about the beauty of travelling all alone. Travelling with someone, be it friends, family, or a lover is certainly great, you can share the experience, have lot of fun, and sacred moments together, but when you do so, you could go just about anywhere in the world, and it's still just a trip with your friend/family/lover taking centerstage. The main "characters" of the trip, is you and them, and your relationship together.
On the other hand, travelling all alone is an entirely other beast ! When you discover a new place, city, country, food, smell, language... You're a sponge, your 5 senses are fully awakened, and you pay attention to everything around you (especially if like me, you're into street photography, devouring with your lens any new landscape, architecture, and actually paying attention to people that you just met, who can all potentially become surprise friends or lovers for one day/night/week that you'll keep in your memory for the rest of your life, as you just mentioned in your vid) !
Which is a pretty intoxicating feeling !
Over the years, my trips all over Taipei, Tainan, Taiwan's east coast HK, Fuzhou, Xiamen, Okinawa, Kyoto, Singapore... I keep sacred memories of all of them, and remember, even after 10 years, some of the people I met there for one night (while I keep forgetting the names of the people I meet weekly here in my now mundane life in Taipei)
And I believe that feeling of absolute freedom to go wherever whenever however and sponging them deep in your psyche, there's definitely an allegory to be made with being single by choice.
It is liberating to be just by yourself, when you put in the time and effort to grow on your own. It feels light to live without drama caused by the ups and down of relationships. It feels great to do whatever you want, watch any movie you want, eat wherever you want, go out on a trip, buy a new camera or lens, or any other costly gadget, all of that without having to justify, explain, or excuse yourself to anyone.
So yeah, single life is comfortable.
The downside of it is obviously the occasional "feeling lonely" moment (that can sometimes happen for quite a long time, not gonna lie), but it's always countered by the amount of freedom and levity such life brings you.
Now, of course, I'm painting a rather limited portrait of what a couple is. That's probably because I have no idea what it feels like ! As I mentioned, I've been single almost all my life, and the longest relationship I've ever been into was one year... With the last 6 months being a long distance relationship, as she was working in China by then (and we ended up mutually breaking up because of being apart for so long).
So I can only preach about my own chapel ^^.
Which is also one of the reasons why I got so absorbed into your channel, as when I discovered it, you were still with Andrew, and the 2 of you weren't shy of communicating some of your private thoughts and process on life as a couple, which was really an eye opener to me, where I learned so much about coupling.
And I must say thank you for that. Even though you 2 are no longer together, your beautiful time together shined a light upon many people in the world, including me, and I'm grateful that you have shared it.
And even moreso grateful to you to keep sharing your solo adventures and growing pains and beauty, to this day. There is definitely something touching about your ever evolving public journal that is your channel !
You said that I was always replying the longest, most insightful replies to your vids, but that's basically my way of thanking you to actually teach me so much about love. So if I can bring anything of my own life wisdom to the table to also make you learn about some stuff in life, it's my pleasure, lovely young lady.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your feelings ❤ I love your message of expanding the space we have for ourselves and not just shutting down or frantically reaching for external distractions that will only prolong the healing process
that clip of leah meditating with the cat in the sunbeam is pure love