My husband and I sat down one day and we asked each other, "In a perfect world, where would we want to live?" We both answered in unison, "France!" We spent years preparing: taking French lessons, reading books on the culture, decluttering, taking every vacation in France. When I have doubts, I remember that we planned for this giant step; I go outside and look at the breathtaking architecture of centuries-old buildings; I see people hanging out at the local cafe like they have done forever, and I know we did the right thing (even though we moved in the middle of the pandemic). The hardest part of living in another country is the cultural differences, and having to learn how to do things that we used to do without a thought.
I have family in both France and here in the US, so my husband and I try to split our time. When we are in the US, we miss so much about French life, as well as family! When we are in France we desperately miss our beautiful grandchildren! We do our best to focus on the positives in both countries and realize how blessed we are to be able to spend time in both places.
While I don't know you personally and that this can feel a bit judgemental : I feel you have had a great journey and adaptation in France Diane ! I think you are by far the most authentic, depthful and throughout (yes I can't pronounce this word) channel, not only about anglo-french move but also how you generally approach the moving / expat process. And I am saying it honestly, you know we don't do compliments easily :P I can myself relate about what I call the "honeymoon" phase of my experience abroad in Canada, essentially the first 6 months. That's where most things happily surprised me and excceeded my expectations (maybe my expectations were just low because duh, I am parisian, I see darkness everywhere lol). After is when you start comparing, missing little things about home, classify pros and cons. I always had a guilt of leaving my people behind, it feels like as someone making a social ascension its a feeling that will stay forever regardless of where I am. I also knew I could never envision ALL my life in North America. I am a very "stay in my confort zone" person, let's not get into cultural clichés but the French do have a lesser enthousiasm to risks and the unknown than average. It sounded like an adventure, I liked it, but I always knew it would end. Unfortunately for me, it's ending for financial reasons, maybe earlier than I would have liked. A full 5 years would have been ideal. But since I have made up my mind about when I am going to leave and accepted that, I have not found myself sad but rather glad it happened, I know I could have assimilated in a way, certain things of your life abroad will always leave a stain of familiarity of that culture and attachement (if it goes well) even if it's short lived. Enjoying what I can is the way to go for me, and being grateful for what I can. Plus going back to France doesn't sound THAT dreadful lol, it's not like I was escaping or looking for an escape route, you already explored it in other videos but that framing can indeed be toxic. I grew as a person, reached some milestones and I am happy with that. Its a lifelong memory. As for you, I dont know if you will stay forever in France, completely assimilate (you do seem ready for that) or one day return to the US. But I can feel in any case, that the experience brought you a lot and know you've done a lot of efforts and have invested yourself on a serious journey to get here. Good luck to you, and thanks for the genuine content as always !
This was interesting to read. If you feel free to share, what are you looking forward to the most when you return to France (aside from family and friends) that you didn't have outside of France? If you feel it is private, no problem. 😊 Best wishes always. 🛐
Thanks Diane! I’ve been in Portugal for two and a half years, and still have days where I experience doubt, or feel a sense of loss and “missing out” on the connections I had with friends and family in the U.S. The reminder to talk it out or write it out is an important one.
(Melanie here) Definitely normal to have doubts, regrets or fears. I moved to England for 2 years and lived in Florida for 2 years. Both times, those feelings came up. After all, wherever you are, you grieve the loss of where you are not, and especially missing the people you love.
Good video! I was in Europe for about a year in my 20's and wanted to relocate (from the U.S.) but family matters brought me home and then I ended up on another path. I am now close to retirement and thought about relocating again, but I don't feel like I could do it alone with no contacts or friends available in the area to which I might move for a support network. Kind of odd since when I went to Europe in my 20's, I did so on my own and had no problem with making friends etc. Also now, I am taking care of my elderly father - so family matters are again playing a role. I guess my perspective has changed as I have aged and with circumstances - as they often do. Love living vicariously though your videos! Thanks!
I’ve learned to say, “don’t be shoulding me.” Nobody has the right to tell me how to live or want to do. Some days I have doubt others I don’t. You are a very strong and confident person and I congratulate you for your candor about counseling. And as i have mentioned before, I’ve been going to France for extended periods since around 2001. Always flirted with moving to France but always had a reason not to. Now I’m older and retired and living alone and seriously considering moving to France. You have given me the courage to take the next step and I’ll be in western France including Angers at end of October, renting a-car and exploring towns and villages other than paris. All my best Diane… Joe and Gigi in Cape May.
It's 'funny', all the things you mention; I relocated from Australia to the UK nearly 7 years ago, and there were many times I could've gone back, but chose not to. Why? Because I would remind myself of why I left in the first place, and that those reasons hadn't changed. So, while I was frustrated by life not quite being what I'd imagined it would be, I could also comfort myself with accepting that it wouldn't have been 'better' if I left. So here I am, nearly 7 years later potentially embarking on another adventure, but having done it once before (and there are more challenges than most realise even though Aus/UK have the same language etc) but feeling a bit more confidant because I've accepted that it'll be a rollercoaster journey, and that's probably my biggest tip for anyone thinking about moving countries, forget what you think you know and try to enjoy the journey because you'll learn and appreciate so much more if you can.
Over the years I’ve visited France many times. I usually stay for 4-6 weeks. Around week 4-5 I need to get out of French culture for a few days so I go to Disney where French culture is wiped away. I used to think I wanted to move to France but along the way I realized vacationing is better a better way to go for me. Everything is always new and exciting.
Thank you for the perfect tip of cutting should out of our life. Wherever we live (home abroad) there is always should and the guilt is piling up. The other day i listened to a retired psyciatricer, he told us to never plan a chore for a day. Instead plan for the hours (for ex 2 ) then you will not guilttrip yourself when you fail to finish the thing at once
Great video; I'm contemplating a move late in life, and your videos are a great resource. Also, not to diminish your content, but I have to say, on the shallow side, you look fantastic!
Hi, Diane! I am moving to Angers in two weeks and have been feeling more and more doubtful as the day approaches. I've been watching your videos for insight and this one, in particular, has been incredibly helpful. Your advice across the board is deeply relevant. My father (who is French) has told me some similar things, and I am relieved to hear them backed up by a fellow American living abroad. Thank you so much for helping to assuage my fears!
We are moving to Pau (near Pyrenees) in September. I’ve lived in this house for 33 years. I keep reminding myself that every move I’ve ever made, I started having doubts when the time approached. I thinks it’s normal. So I’m using information shared by Diane and others to help keep my heart on the path and know this is right. Best of luck to your move and may the hills and valleys be smooth.
Excellent video. Thank you so very much. This really hit home with me. I have a major decision looming and this information will be extremely helpful and appreciated. You do a great service to us. Thank you. Please take care and keep safe 🙏
Wow, you are amazing. Everything you said is true. I would add that self doubt is just that--doubting one's self is a bad habit that can be hard to break. It is independant of location. Once we learn to trust ourselves everything changes. We become a resource for ourselves. When I am having a hard time, no matter what the cause, I remind myself that I am having a feeling I don't want to have. I may need help to work through it, but at the end of the day it is just a feeling. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Wonderful video! Thank you Diane! If I had known what the US was going to become with a scary hate driven crazy cult, I should have gotten out 25 years ago. I’m not going down the could/ should have rabbit hole. Our healthcare sucks! We don’t have enough vacations. Crazy gun lovers, etc..Yada yada yada. Like you don’t already know. Everything is give and take wherever you choose to live. I just wanted to add that if you plan to live abroad, it’s imperative to do this while you are young. I’m too old. So old that I’m already thinking about retiring in the next 12-15 years. It would be impossible for this 53 year old to adapt and start a new life . Not making up excuses, but I have little tolerance for change at this age and I’m highly sensitive . I could endure more when I was younger. My tolerance to people in general is at an all time low. I think the pandemic made it worse. I know you must have a thick skin to adapt to another culture and language. You are a young, beautiful, smart, and talented lady. You can do anything you want!! ❤️ Thank you for another awesome and amazing video! I love and appreciate them all!
Really enjoy your videos. Our son moved to France 4 years ago. He is getting married in May in France, so my wife and I are making our first trip there! Thanks for all of the tips and information. We are very excited about visiting there next year!
Fast approaching 60 and thinking "what have I done with my life?" maybe sometimes you just have to take the plunge before it's too late. I'm in London so it's just a hop, skip and a jump across the channel 😂
Started remotely with my new company in Germany and I will be relocating soon. Still learning the language and full of doubts. This video was very helpful. I hope we all get through our new adventure.
Thank you, Diane. I love all of your videos, but this one is AMAZING. While thinking about fears and doubts doesn't always feel good, when we are aware of these and the feelings they bring up in us, we can find ways to work through them and make decisions that suit us.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
This is all so true. I'm only in France part time, but, especially after not being able to visit for 2 years, it takes me a while to settle in. I have found setting a routine helps as I'm adjusting. Having work to do on the house does help. I'm hoping to feel more settled as I travel and stay more frequently.
Thank you for making this video. I am moving this year and I'm so excited, but leaving me family behind scares me. If I think of it as taking it one day at a time it becomes more manageable in my head.
I been an expat for years. New commers love their new home too much. Later they miss home a bit and find fault with their new hosts. If they get past that stage all is well
Yes, I do have doubts now about France. I am concerned that the Ukraine situation will affect the rest of Europe sooner than later. I have been dragging my feet in completing my long-stay visa.
@Rosemary N, this is really understandable. We can't tell what the future will hold. We can research, plan, and prepare and at some point we decide (or not, which is a decision in itself). Two questions that might help you get unstuck and move forward with your move to France OR decide not to are: "Why is moving to France so important to me?" and "if I don't make this move now what will the costs be to me in all areas of my life? (emotional, physical health, financial, friendships, career, etc.). Best wishes with your decision!
100% if circumstances were right, I'm long overdue some changes in my life. But I'd like to do it they way you did ( marry a French man) with a partner I can trust for support 😂
We would like to retire in France. Would we have to pay taxes there? I have read there is a treaty between the US and France that we would only pay taxes on our income from the US.
I think the pandemic did a big number on a lot of people living abroad. Before, it was a simple plane flight away. Suddenly, that wasn’t possible and some people I know decided to return. I do my best not to compare my life to others and not use “should” but it’s not always easy. I love my life here and wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. It’s not easy…it’s my life.
My husband and I sat down one day and we asked each other, "In a perfect world, where would we want to live?" We both answered in unison, "France!" We spent years preparing: taking French lessons, reading books on the culture, decluttering, taking every vacation in France. When I have doubts, I remember that we planned for this giant step; I go outside and look at the breathtaking architecture of centuries-old buildings; I see people hanging out at the local cafe like they have done forever, and I know we did the right thing (even though we moved in the middle of the pandemic). The hardest part of living in another country is the cultural differences, and having to learn how to do things that we used to do without a thought.
If I have doubts about doing something, I always like to have a "backup" plan in case things don't work out. That usually puts my mind at ease.
Diane is always a darling. She is a friend to us all.
You're too kind, Miriam. Thank you ❤️
I have family in both France and here in the US, so my husband and I try to split our time. When we are in the US, we miss so much about French life, as well as family! When we are in France we desperately miss our beautiful grandchildren! We do our best to focus on the positives in both countries and realize how blessed we are to be able to spend time in both places.
While I don't know you personally and that this can feel a bit judgemental : I feel you have had a great journey and adaptation in France Diane ! I think you are by far the most authentic, depthful and throughout (yes I can't pronounce this word) channel, not only about anglo-french move but also how you generally approach the moving / expat process. And I am saying it honestly, you know we don't do compliments easily :P
I can myself relate about what I call the "honeymoon" phase of my experience abroad in Canada, essentially the first 6 months. That's where most things happily surprised me and excceeded my expectations (maybe my expectations were just low because duh, I am parisian, I see darkness everywhere lol). After is when you start comparing, missing little things about home, classify pros and cons.
I always had a guilt of leaving my people behind, it feels like as someone making a social ascension its a feeling that will stay forever regardless of where I am. I also knew I could never envision ALL my life in North America. I am a very "stay in my confort zone" person, let's not get into cultural clichés but the French do have a lesser enthousiasm to risks and the unknown than average. It sounded like an adventure, I liked it, but I always knew it would end.
Unfortunately for me, it's ending for financial reasons, maybe earlier than I would have liked. A full 5 years would have been ideal. But since I have made up my mind about when I am going to leave and accepted that, I have not found myself sad but rather glad it happened, I know I could have assimilated in a way, certain things of your life abroad will always leave a stain of familiarity of that culture and attachement (if it goes well) even if it's short lived. Enjoying what I can is the way to go for me, and being grateful for what I can. Plus going back to France doesn't sound THAT dreadful lol, it's not like I was escaping or looking for an escape route, you already explored it in other videos but that framing can indeed be toxic. I grew as a person, reached some milestones and I am happy with that. Its a lifelong memory.
As for you, I dont know if you will stay forever in France, completely assimilate (you do seem ready for that) or one day return to the US. But I can feel in any case, that the experience brought you a lot and know you've done a lot of efforts and have invested yourself on a serious journey to get here.
Good luck to you, and thanks for the genuine content as always !
This was interesting to read. If you feel free to share, what are you looking forward to the most when you return to France (aside from family and friends) that you didn't have outside of France? If you feel it is private, no problem. 😊
Best wishes always. 🛐
@@luv2travel2000 food food food !
Thanks Diane! I’ve been in Portugal for two and a half years, and still have days where I experience doubt, or feel a sense of loss and “missing out” on the connections I had with friends and family in the U.S. The reminder to talk it out or write it out is an important one.
(Melanie here) Definitely normal to have doubts, regrets or fears. I moved to England for 2 years and lived in Florida for 2 years. Both times, those feelings came up. After all, wherever you are, you grieve the loss of where you are not, and especially missing the people you love.
Exactly, no place is perfect and unfortunately we can't be everywhere at once. That would be a great superpower though!!
Hi from another Melanie!
Good video! I was in Europe for about a year in my 20's and wanted to relocate (from the U.S.) but family matters brought me home and then I ended up on another path. I am now close to retirement and thought about relocating again, but I don't feel like I could do it alone with no contacts or friends available in the area to which I might move for a support network. Kind of odd since when I went to Europe in my 20's, I did so on my own and had no problem with making friends etc. Also now, I am taking care of my elderly father - so family matters are again playing a role. I guess my perspective has changed as I have aged and with circumstances - as they often do. Love living vicariously though your videos! Thanks!
I’ve learned to say, “don’t be shoulding me.” Nobody has the right to tell me how to live or want to do.
Some days I have doubt others I don’t. You are a very strong and confident person and I congratulate you for your candor about counseling. And as i have mentioned before,
I’ve been going to France for extended periods since around 2001. Always flirted with moving to France but always had a reason not to. Now I’m older and retired and living alone and seriously considering moving to France. You have given me the courage to take the next step and I’ll be in western France including Angers at end of October, renting a-car and exploring towns and villages other than paris.
All my best Diane… Joe and Gigi in Cape May.
It's 'funny', all the things you mention; I relocated from Australia to the UK nearly 7 years ago, and there were many times I could've gone back, but chose not to. Why? Because I would remind myself of why I left in the first place, and that those reasons hadn't changed. So, while I was frustrated by life not quite being what I'd imagined it would be, I could also comfort myself with accepting that it wouldn't have been 'better' if I left.
So here I am, nearly 7 years later potentially embarking on another adventure, but having done it once before (and there are more challenges than most realise even though Aus/UK have the same language etc) but feeling a bit more confidant because I've accepted that it'll be a rollercoaster journey, and that's probably my biggest tip for anyone thinking about moving countries, forget what you think you know and try to enjoy the journey because you'll learn and appreciate so much more if you can.
Over the years I’ve visited France many times. I usually stay for 4-6 weeks. Around week 4-5 I need to get out of French culture for a few days so I go to Disney where French culture is wiped away. I used to think I wanted to move to France but along the way I realized vacationing is better a better way to go for me. Everything is always new and exciting.
That's a great way to do it, Doug!
Thank you for the perfect tip of cutting should out of our life. Wherever we live (home abroad) there is always should and the guilt is piling up.
The other day i listened to a retired psyciatricer, he told us to never plan a chore for a day. Instead plan for the hours (for ex 2 ) then you will not guilttrip yourself when you fail to finish the thing at once
This channel - always the best advice for living abroad, for making changes, for life! Great video, Diane. 😊
Excellent video! I love “the grass is greener where you water it” 👍🏻 Merci ☺️
Thank you! 😃
Great video; I'm contemplating a move late in life, and your videos are a great resource. Also, not to diminish your content, but I have to say, on the shallow side, you look fantastic!
Hi, Diane! I am moving to Angers in two weeks and have been feeling more and more doubtful as the day approaches. I've been watching your videos for insight and this one, in particular, has been incredibly helpful. Your advice across the board is deeply relevant. My father (who is French) has told me some similar things, and I am relieved to hear them backed up by a fellow American living abroad. Thank you so much for helping to assuage my fears!
Alexander-she is very helpful! Also check out her blog for even more insight!
We are moving to Pau (near Pyrenees) in September. I’ve lived in this house for 33 years. I keep reminding myself that every move I’ve ever made, I started having doubts when the time approached. I thinks it’s normal. So I’m using information shared by Diane and others to help keep my heart on the path and know this is right. Best of luck to your move and may the hills and valleys be smooth.
Excellent video. Thank you so very much. This really hit home with me. I have a major decision looming and this information will be extremely helpful and appreciated.
You do a great service to us. Thank you.
Please take care and keep safe 🙏
Wow, you are amazing. Everything you said is true. I would add that self doubt is just that--doubting one's self is a bad habit that can be hard to break. It is independant of location. Once we learn to trust ourselves everything changes. We become a resource for ourselves. When I am having a hard time, no matter what the cause, I remind myself that I am having a feeling I don't want to have. I may need help to work through it, but at the end of the day it is just a feeling. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Wonderful video! Thank you Diane! If I had known what the US was going to become with a scary hate driven crazy cult, I should have gotten out 25 years ago. I’m not going down the could/ should have rabbit hole. Our healthcare sucks! We don’t have enough vacations. Crazy gun lovers, etc..Yada yada yada. Like you don’t already know. Everything is give and take wherever you choose to live. I just wanted to add that if you plan to live abroad, it’s imperative to do this while you are young. I’m too old. So old that I’m already thinking about retiring in the next 12-15 years. It would be impossible for this 53 year old to adapt and start a new life . Not making up excuses, but I have little tolerance for change at this age and I’m highly sensitive . I could endure more when I was younger. My tolerance to people in general is at an all time low. I think the pandemic made it worse. I know you must have a thick skin to adapt to another culture and language. You are a young, beautiful, smart, and talented lady. You can do anything you want!! ❤️
Thank you for another awesome and amazing video! I love and appreciate them all!
Really enjoy your videos. Our son moved to France 4 years ago. He is getting married in May in France, so my wife and I are making our first trip there! Thanks for all of the tips and information. We are very excited about visiting there next year!
Thanks so much, Dave! Hope you have a wonderful trip and so happy you enjoy my content.
Merci Diane pour cette vidéo! This video is so helpful and I'm not even moving abroad. 🙏🏾 I agree with you about journaling. 💯
I love this video - grounded, real, honest, and fun at the same time. Bien fait!
Fast approaching 60 and thinking "what have I done with my life?" maybe sometimes you just have to take the plunge before it's too late. I'm in London so it's just a hop, skip and a jump across the channel 😂
Started remotely with my new company in Germany and I will be relocating soon. Still learning the language and full of doubts. This video was very helpful. I hope we all get through our new adventure.
Best of luck! You've got this!
This info and advice in this video is really valuable. Thank you for sharing
Thank you, Diane. I love all of your videos, but this one is AMAZING. While thinking about fears and doubts doesn't always feel good, when we are aware of these and the feelings they bring up in us, we can find ways to work through them and make decisions that suit us.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Excellent video! Well said, Diane.
This is all so true. I'm only in France part time, but, especially after not being able to visit for 2 years, it takes me a while to settle in. I have found setting a routine helps as I'm adjusting. Having work to do on the house does help. I'm hoping to feel more settled as I travel and stay more frequently.
Hoping things get more and more comfortable for you, Connie. It definitely takes time.
You always answer all our questions.
❤️
Such wisdom! Thanks 🙏🏾
Thank you for this video. It’s just what I needed to hear today 🙏
Great video. You are awesome. ❤
Great advice thank you. Love your channel.
So insightful, as usual.
Thank you, Rachel 🙏
Thank you for making this video. I am moving this year and I'm so excited, but leaving me family behind scares me. If I think of it as taking it one day at a time it becomes more manageable in my head.
You can do it! Good luck ;-)
I been an expat for years. New commers love their new home too much. Later they miss home a bit and find fault with their new hosts. If they get past that stage all is well
Good advice. Well done.
Thanks very much
I moved from france to the us 40 years ago, not bad but not as good as france and yes I have regrets
Inspirational!
Thank you for watching!
Yes, I do have doubts now about France. I am concerned that the Ukraine situation will affect the rest of Europe sooner than later. I have been dragging my feet in completing my long-stay visa.
Completely understand. Not an easy decision...
@Rosemary N, this is really understandable. We can't tell what the future will hold. We can research, plan, and prepare and at some point we decide (or not, which is a decision in itself). Two questions that might help you get unstuck and move forward with your move to France OR decide not to are: "Why is moving to France so important to me?" and "if I don't make this move now what will the costs be to me in all areas of my life? (emotional, physical health, financial, friendships, career, etc.). Best wishes with your decision!
100% if circumstances were right, I'm long overdue some changes in my life. But I'd like to do it they way you did ( marry a French man) with a partner I can trust for support 😂
We would like to retire in France. Would we have to pay taxes there? I have read there is a treaty between the US and France that we would only pay taxes on our income from the US.
The goblin in my mind loves "if."
Belongs with the "shoulds" 😱
I think the pandemic did a big number on a lot of people living abroad. Before, it was a simple plane flight away. Suddenly, that wasn’t possible and some people I know decided to return. I do my best not to compare my life to others and not use “should” but it’s not always easy. I love my life here and wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. It’s not easy…it’s my life.
Bonjour
Bonjour!
Hi Dian. Am getting less and less of ur videos?! I wonder!
Ugh, I'm sorry. Are you subscribed with notifications (bell) on? They don't show up in your subscriptions feed? Tell me more please!
@@OuiInFrance Hello dear. Of course I am subscribed to ur channel and yes, the bill rings! 🤗