As a father of an out and proud lesbian. (Who also has the same vampire vibe.) I just wanted to give you a big internet hug and let you know you are loved. Wishing you the best in 2025.
My family and I aren't too close and don't really get my transition despite being supportive, and my best friend the one person I planned on seeing during the holidays ended up having to cancel because of their own family issues. This is probably my most lonely holiday season yet, and they already felt so suffocating before...
I feel you. It’s such a weird inbetween space having a somewhat distant family being at least on paper supportive and yet not really. Not actively supportive or trying to understand. My dad was “supportive” and “ok” with it verbally, but not in action or feeling. He deadnamed me 95% of the time and always acted like he had it the hardest and that he just needs time. Surprisingly he meant it. It took him a couple of years, but now he doesnt deadname me anymore xD other family members were a lot nicer and quicker, but even with them it’s just silently accepted, but not acknowledged. They never ask questions in depth about it and my first coming out was like a dream that never happened. All were on board and nice, but then when I saw them again after… it was like nothing has happened. Zero follow up, no mention and only deadnaming. It took a 2nd coming out for them to register. It’s such a weird place to be in. I’m lucky at times, but then again this weird neglectful kinda thing is confusing and straining
youtube has been recommending me vids like this from small time transgirl creators and they've always been a blessing. i just made an appointment to start hrt today, and i will be coming out to my family soon. next holiday season will definitely be interesting for me. thanks for the inspiration
This year for the holidays, it was mostly just my two queer friends and I at home. Even though there's an underlying "this is supposed to be more bombastic!!" train of thought, I constantly re-realize how fulfilling that simple hangout really is, considering all three of us have very shaky family relationships. On the topic of gift-giving and not contributing to capitalism/paying Amazon, etc., DIY gifts have been such a joy to receive and to gift. (I highly recommend something like bleached/painted thrifted/old shirts, or bracelets for anyone starting out, it's a really wonderful practice imo.) Thank you for being vulnerable in order to address something us queer people don't often discuss, I'm so glad I was recommended this video ! (=
I had an odd mirror to this experience. Finally being out on my own meant that I could spend more of the holidays by myself, which I'd wanted to do for a while. Apart from getting sick, it was nice.
Yea! That's totally understandable, it can be really nice being alone as well. Tbh I enjoy going on solo adventures for my birthday rather than being with people so I get it
As a closeted bi and genderfluid person staying with my family wasnt good either, i would have loved to hang out online with my friends. Fortunately at least for 2 days i could. I hope you manage to get some friends over or find some friends online to chill out in a call with, i found that also helps a lot. Thanks for the reassuring talk. Glad the yt put this in my fy page
this holiday season was really lonely for me. it's my first christmas since coming out as a trans woman to my family and my first christmas not being with them. at the same time, my long term partner broke up with me a few weeks before the holidays. I still spent time with his family because they're kinda like my adoptive parents at this point, but it wasn't the same. I'm gonna try my best to make more friends this year
Thanks for the video. I'm not (I think) trans, and I don't have big problems with my family, but the holidays definitely get me down, simply because the lack of busyness and socialisation opens the door for the obsessions and anxiety to take over. Happy 2025!
Sending you support from Finland! I'm autistic so I can relate to things always not going so smoothly with others. Getting that special someone or any long lasting connection is a blessing. I hope everyone can have that some day.
I've been going on a depression spiral for the past few months and the holidays haven't really been too much of any help. For a long while and even still, I'd rather treat every holiday, including my birthday, as just any other day and not some huge calibration. I am an ase trans woman and still live with my parents so I wasn't necessarily alone but might as well be. My parents, along with some other family members but to a lesser extent, are very toxic people, which is why I am not outed but, also why I don't like calibrations of any kind because of how their toxicity has ruined all of them. However, I was lucky enough to have my oldest sister over for this Christmas. Christmas itself was about as bad as I expected but my sister stayed over for a few days after. It was scary but, I trusted her enough to out myself later into the night, the day after Christmas and I am honestly still shocked for the amount of respect and love she gave me. Everything finally felt ok for a few days. Of course though, she later had to leave and I somehow managed to pick up my depression spiral right where I left off. I do have friends to speak with sometimes online, and that sister is also now the first of my family members who I now actually trust enough to speak with on the phone (not counting those who became close enough friends with me for me to count them as family at least), but I'm still very isolated. My parents toxicity alone has been enough to push me back to being in my room all day and I feel very stuck at the moment with very few options or opportunities in my life.
This video felt good after the swell of emotions from the holidays. I found myself making the same resolution to find a community 2025 because I went no contact with my family this past year. Glad youtube gave me this video. We are not truly alone in our journeys so to speak :]
You spoke of finding spaces online where there are people like me, and I so want to do that, but I am scared to put myself out there. I hate feeling alone, but reaching out to others always comes with a level of risk. (I have never ventured into the world of Discord, and find the thought kinda daunting because being sociable does not come easily to me.) I hope that makes sense, and I'm not just rambling...!
That totally makes sense !! It can be really difficult and was for me when I first started reaching out. If there are any online games you play that can be a wonderful place to start, just be kind to yourself! You're bound to make mistakes but that's okay :)
@@livingforabsurdity Thank you so much for the kind reply - and the advice! I'm not an online gamer, but I am sure I can find people who have things in common with me!
@@livingforabsurdity I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. I know that I tend to love the company of my family and I don't know what it's like to be without them. I'm sorry that your family doesn't treat you properly. I guess you can always do friendsmas but it's still nice to have family over. I hope your family changes for the better, and, Happy New Years. I hope it's a great one for you!
I am a straight cis white man, and though I have those prvilages, I also suffer from chronic depression, and holidays suck for me, too. All that aside, I just wanted to let you all know that you have allies you'll probably never meet. I consider myself one. All people deserve validation and love, and that includes our LGBT brothers and sisters.
I’m a younger trans person, and I’m probably going to go no-contact with my unaccepting conservative relatives when I move out (I’m 21, but I live my relatives because I’m trying to save money). This holiday season definitely sucked, and I was misgendered by everyone. It really sucks to know who you are, but have everyone in your family completely disrespect you and refuse to acknowledge who you are.
The one thing I cannot stand about holidays is that no matter who's house it's at. The TV always has to have a football game on it. I hate sports, and it feels like it's forcing me to watch it is just like being in band again in high school. Being forced me to go to school games because they couldn't separate art from sport. Otherwise, I thought band was fun, with the exception marching and I excelled at jazz. I have to be baked out of my mind because I don't see any other way to not be bored out of my skull. I would say something, but too many people in my family watch sports. I haven't come out yet as trans, but even before my transition I decided that I was going to be extremely selective about who I let into my life since I've been burned too many times. So, my situation while it may seem like a relief to go to family, I still feel kind of disconnected because of lack of common interest. I also don't feel like I can be myself.
I'm trying to work around this one. I have to rely on others for transportation at the time, and want to find an in-person community, but doing so could out me before I'm ready. I also feel like the stress of this could push me to come out before I feel I'm ready. How do others handle this? I'm at a loss here.
Looks like the algorithm found this for a lot of people, because I just reloaded and the views doubled. Anyway, I really resonated with a lot of what you said, so it's reassuring to hear its not just me feeling this way at least. Where's that discord you mentioned, by the way? didn't manage to find it
As a father of an out and proud lesbian. (Who also has the same vampire vibe.) I just wanted to give you a big internet hug and let you know you are loved. Wishing you the best in 2025.
I'm totally not crying right now 😭🖤
Thank you so much for the support
My family and I aren't too close and don't really get my transition despite being supportive, and my best friend the one person I planned on seeing during the holidays ended up having to cancel because of their own family issues. This is probably my most lonely holiday season yet, and they already felt so suffocating before...
Ugh I'm so sorry to hear that ! I know how hard that must have been. I hope you're able to make time to see that friend soon!
Literally same, every word you said was true for me as well this holiday season
I feel you. It’s such a weird inbetween space having a somewhat distant family being at least on paper supportive and yet not really. Not actively supportive or trying to understand. My dad was “supportive” and “ok” with it verbally, but not in action or feeling. He deadnamed me 95% of the time and always acted like he had it the hardest and that he just needs time. Surprisingly he meant it. It took him a couple of years, but now he doesnt deadname me anymore xD other family members were a lot nicer and quicker, but even with them it’s just silently accepted, but not acknowledged. They never ask questions in depth about it and my first coming out was like a dream that never happened. All were on board and nice, but then when I saw them again after… it was like nothing has happened. Zero follow up, no mention and only deadnaming. It took a 2nd coming out for them to register.
It’s such a weird place to be in. I’m lucky at times, but then again this weird neglectful kinda thing is confusing and straining
youtube has been recommending me vids like this from small time transgirl creators and they've always been a blessing. i just made an appointment to start hrt today, and i will be coming out to my family soon. next holiday season will definitely be interesting for me. thanks for the inspiration
I'm glad the video could help you and I hope you stick around for more ^_^ I'll have another video out tomorrow
This year for the holidays, it was mostly just my two queer friends and I at home. Even though there's an underlying "this is supposed to be more bombastic!!" train of thought, I constantly re-realize how fulfilling that simple hangout really is, considering all three of us have very shaky family relationships. On the topic of gift-giving and not contributing to capitalism/paying Amazon, etc., DIY gifts have been such a joy to receive and to gift. (I highly recommend something like bleached/painted thrifted/old shirts, or bracelets for anyone starting out, it's a really wonderful practice imo.) Thank you for being vulnerable in order to address something us queer people don't often discuss, I'm so glad I was recommended this video ! (=
you're not alone, you have a very sweet & supportive puppy beside you
She is a wonderful puppy 🖤
I had an odd mirror to this experience. Finally being out on my own meant that I could spend more of the holidays by myself, which I'd wanted to do for a while. Apart from getting sick, it was nice.
Yea! That's totally understandable, it can be really nice being alone as well. Tbh I enjoy going on solo adventures for my birthday rather than being with people so I get it
As a closeted bi and genderfluid person staying with my family wasnt good either, i would have loved to hang out online with my friends. Fortunately at least for 2 days i could. I hope you manage to get some friends over or find some friends online to chill out in a call with, i found that also helps a lot. Thanks for the reassuring talk. Glad the yt put this in my fy page
this holiday season was really lonely for me. it's my first christmas since coming out as a trans woman to my family and my first christmas not being with them. at the same time, my long term partner broke up with me a few weeks before the holidays. I still spent time with his family because they're kinda like my adoptive parents at this point, but it wasn't the same. I'm gonna try my best to make more friends this year
Thanks for the video. I'm not (I think) trans, and I don't have big problems with my family, but the holidays definitely get me down, simply because the lack of busyness and socialisation opens the door for the obsessions and anxiety to take over. Happy 2025!
Happy 2025, I'm glad you enjoyed the video regardless ^_^
Sending you support from Finland! I'm autistic so I can relate to things always not going so smoothly with others. Getting that special someone or any long lasting connection is a blessing. I hope everyone can have that some day.
I've been going on a depression spiral for the past few months and the holidays haven't really been too much of any help. For a long while and even still, I'd rather treat every holiday, including my birthday, as just any other day and not some huge calibration. I am an ase trans woman and still live with my parents so I wasn't necessarily alone but might as well be. My parents, along with some other family members but to a lesser extent, are very toxic people, which is why I am not outed but, also why I don't like calibrations of any kind because of how their toxicity has ruined all of them.
However, I was lucky enough to have my oldest sister over for this Christmas. Christmas itself was about as bad as I expected but my sister stayed over for a few days after. It was scary but, I trusted her enough to out myself later into the night, the day after Christmas and I am honestly still shocked for the amount of respect and love she gave me.
Everything finally felt ok for a few days. Of course though, she later had to leave and I somehow managed to pick up my depression spiral right where I left off. I do have friends to speak with sometimes online, and that sister is also now the first of my family members who I now actually trust enough to speak with on the phone (not counting those who became close enough friends with me for me to count them as family at least), but I'm still very isolated. My parents toxicity alone has been enough to push me back to being in my room all day and I feel very stuck at the moment with very few options or opportunities in my life.
This video felt good after the swell of emotions from the holidays. I found myself making the same resolution to find a community 2025 because I went no contact with my family this past year. Glad youtube gave me this video. We are not truly alone in our journeys so to speak :]
I know it must have been an incredibly difficult decision, and exactly you're not alone! You have at least one internet stranger cheering you on ^_^
You spoke of finding spaces online where there are people like me, and I so want to do that, but I am scared to put myself out there. I hate feeling alone, but reaching out to others always comes with a level of risk. (I have never ventured into the world of Discord, and find the thought kinda daunting because being sociable does not come easily to me.) I hope that makes sense, and I'm not just rambling...!
That totally makes sense !! It can be really difficult and was for me when I first started reaching out.
If there are any online games you play that can be a wonderful place to start, just be kind to yourself! You're bound to make mistakes but that's okay :)
@@livingforabsurdity Thank you so much for the kind reply - and the advice! I'm not an online gamer, but I am sure I can find people who have things in common with me!
@@livingforabsurdity I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. I know that I tend to love the company of my family and I don't know what it's like to be without them. I'm sorry that your family doesn't treat you properly. I guess you can always do friendsmas but it's still nice to have family over. I hope your family changes for the better, and, Happy New Years. I hope it's a great one for you!
I am a straight cis white man, and though I have those prvilages, I also suffer from chronic depression, and holidays suck for me, too. All that aside, I just wanted to let you all know that you have allies you'll probably never meet. I consider myself one. All people deserve validation and love, and that includes our LGBT brothers and sisters.
Finally had a somewhat nice Christmas since moving away from the majority of my family couple years ago, spent Christmas Eve and Day with friens!
I just came out this year (well, technically the last year already lol), and I feel kinda comprehended by this.
PD: Nice border collie!!
I'm glad the video could help and I'm proud or you ^_^
(Also ty shes a dork)
I'm glad the algo threw your random vid at me! Thanks for the message of hope =^^=
always hated this time of year it's good to hear others say it
I’m a younger trans person, and I’m probably going to go no-contact with my unaccepting conservative relatives when I move out (I’m 21, but I live my relatives because I’m trying to save money). This holiday season definitely sucked, and I was misgendered by everyone. It really sucks to know who you are, but have everyone in your family completely disrespect you and refuse to acknowledge who you are.
The one thing I cannot stand about holidays is that no matter who's house it's at. The TV always has to have a football game on it. I hate sports, and it feels like it's forcing me to watch it is just like being in band again in high school. Being forced me to go to school games because they couldn't separate art from sport. Otherwise, I thought band was fun, with the exception marching and I excelled at jazz. I have to be baked out of my mind because I don't see any other way to not be bored out of my skull. I would say something, but too many people in my family watch sports. I haven't come out yet as trans, but even before my transition I decided that I was going to be extremely selective about who I let into my life since I've been burned too many times. So, my situation while it may seem like a relief to go to family, I still feel kind of disconnected because of lack of common interest. I also don't feel like I can be myself.
its tough but well make it through it good luck everyone i love you ❤️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
comment for algorithm boosting your vibes are fantastic
You're the best ^_^
I'm trying to work around this one. I have to rely on others for transportation at the time, and want to find an in-person community, but doing so could out me before I'm ready. I also feel like the stress of this could push me to come out before I feel I'm ready. How do others handle this? I'm at a loss here.
Wtf didn’t know my goat had a UA-cam
She has 2 channels ^_^
Looks like the algorithm found this for a lot of people, because I just reloaded and the views doubled. Anyway, I really resonated with a lot of what you said, so it's reassuring to hear its not just me feeling this way at least. Where's that discord you mentioned, by the way? didn't manage to find it
I'll be posting it in a little it's not ready for the influx of people I'm inevitably going to get once I open it publicly again
Wait, how fucked is it in the US multiple of my trans friends there also have this problem I am so sorry
It is very fucked right now
@ I don’t appreciate woke heaven enough
Can relate… very…
ur beacons page is private cause ur email isn’t verified! i hope you have a lovely day
Thank you!! I'll fix that when I get home
@
@clementeensy fixed ^_^
@ followed!
Go out and do volunteer work, help others 🙂
I already volunteer often and when I can! But that's a great idea for others