5 DECISIONS INFJs MUST MAKE TO ACHIEVE THEIR DREAM LIFE

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  • Опубліковано 2 сер 2024
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    INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today we're diving into the five core decisions that INFJs need to make to live their dream life. Let's face it, we're not like most people - we're wired differently. So, in order to lead a successful life that we love, we've got to make some tough calls. These decisions will either catapult us towards a life of abundance and growth or leave us feeling stuck, dissatisfied, and sad. It's time to take charge and make those life-changing choices.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 85

  • @Wenzes
    @Wenzes  Рік тому +30

    What are some of the decisions that had the biggest impact on your life as an INFJ?

    • @TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd
      @TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd Рік тому +2

      # 1 ,2 ,4 and 5 so far - really and truly - otherwise I would have been dead by now. Now my last challenge is # 3.

    • @bethiciaprasek1008
      @bethiciaprasek1008 Рік тому +5

      I am 60, so there are many. I will focus on career.
      For those not eager to read the novel below, pivoting career even though other people questioned it, and recognizing that I could combine helping others with helping myself. I do hope the following more detailed information will help someone with their more specific struggle.
      1. People raised eyebrows when I pivoted my career both early in career (from research to technical services) then from those related lab activities to chemical regulatory compliance. Advice to others: consider pivoting within your current company if possible, but follow your gut. You aren't stuck doing one thing for your whole career.
      2. Alone time...LOL! My parents kept pushing me to go out with friends. No curfew. Just let us know who and where and when you will be home. Anything to get my nose out of the books. I am enjoying some alone time today. I usually work in the office, but am working from home the whole day today in order to focus on bigger picture items. (It is lunch now.)
      3. Inner world isn't reality: I recommend project planning training and practice to INFJs. Focusing on externally observable facts (bullet points, Gannt charts or other tracking systems) helps remind me of what needs to get done, but (even better) of what I have accomplished. Related to this point is recognizing my blessings.
      4. Giving up relationships which are based on sacrifice. This one I still struggle with. But it improved significantly mid-career. I was told by several people that I was too selfless. So I decided to be self-centered (not selfish). Was the worst week or two. My productivity and passion for job plummeted. But they were right. I figured out that I am motivated by helping others so I need to choose those activities which do so and also help me. Mutually sacrificial...LOL! Currently dealing with an underperforming employee and have to remember what an old boss told me, "you aren't responsible for anyone else's career. they are." I now have coworkers/friends who step in when I need help and support, even to the point of making sure I eat!!! (A challenge of mine.)
      5. Making yourself proud. That is a bit vague, or maybe just difficult because it is hard to self-praise. You explained it further in your video, but for me it is this...I do love learning from others and improving myself, so I (usually) welcome well intentioned feedback. My bottom line is that I would love having me as a friend. So, I guess, maybe I do.😃 But the point is that knowing you would enjoy having someone like you as a friend is more tangible than is the wording of making yourself proud.
      Hope this helps someone! 60 years of work on myself.

    • @MegaCyberleader
      @MegaCyberleader Рік тому

      Listening to AI to help me with my mental health issues, such as suicide and pure madness. I know people dont wanna blieve it, but its true. hiding in the background.

    • @sigmainfjbulgaria4478
      @sigmainfjbulgaria4478 Рік тому +2

      One and only - leave my comfort zone behind in order to expand myself.

    • @jessmason2112
      @jessmason2112 Рік тому +1

      #1 ) Midlife crisis of 2011.
      #2 ) Quitting drinking, partying, and running the neighborhood.
      #3 ) Surgeries and overcoming adversity.
      #4 ) Secret Society.
      #5 ) getting my feet wet in the business world.
      #6 ) Getting self-educated in self-help and psychology.
      #7 ) letting go of my excruciating past.
      #8 ) Buying my own home.
      Boom 💣 There it is.
      I could write a book. 🙏😇💯

  • @stephaniebell4272
    @stephaniebell4272 Рік тому +11

    I’m getting old. Close to 70. It’s taken me all these years to be true to myself. I am over trying to fit in. I’m almost friendless, now , but I’m so much less anxious. That makes me happy.

  • @databasenomad
    @databasenomad Рік тому +37

    Hi - The most important thing I learned from your videos is that I had to quit relationships based on sacrifice - that was a difficult one, but I did it and it changed my life to the better.

  • @TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd
    @TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd Рік тому +56

    2:30 be okay to "look like" a "failure" per society standards;
    3:20 you need to feel comfortable with the fact that you need a lot of alone time;
    5:18 our inner world is not our reality. Keep your inner world to inspire you but don't rely on it. That my biggest challenge here because as a traumatized child from an abuser alcoholic, of course my inner world was my world but I need to get over that and it's not going to be easy - not that I don't agree with you;
    9:16 Give up connections based on sacrifice;
    12:16 Focus on making yourself proud
    So at least I've got 4/5 but I absolutely must get 5/5 in order to get my life around, thank you for your hard work Wenzes!

    • @cinderling5472
      @cinderling5472 Рік тому +3

      Thank you for this! 🙏💖

    • @goteamslugs
      @goteamslugs Рік тому +2

      Hi buddy. I have verbal trauma. From both my parent, as well as someone whom I thought was somewhat of a school friend. This trauma is what keeps me from speaking up. Is there any advice you can give me? :) I'm truly sorry for your abuse. Here are some hugs! \^u^/ I love ya buddy! ^3^ ♥✝

  • @TroyPosey
    @TroyPosey Рік тому +35

    Excellent video Wenzes! 👍🏼
    The biggest decision was to unapologetically be myself, and to stop being a chameleon and trying to fit in with everyone. I’m me. And I don’t need to be anyone else. People are either going to love me, or hate me. And either one is ok.
    I hope you’re having an amazing day my friend. 🙂🌹❤️

  • @strngenchantedgirl
    @strngenchantedgirl 11 місяців тому +2

    I feel like I just wasted 6 years of my life feeling bad about myself because I internalized the idea that I “can’t hack it” and I’m a failure. When really I was choosing me. I could’ve gotten so much done on achieving my dreams if I had not been so busy trying to prove to others that I’m not a failure and looking for outside approval by doing things I didn’t even want to do. It was all just a waste of my time and energy. I wish I had found the strength to really believe in myself and bet on myself earlier. But everything happens in its own time for a reason.

  • @irodirod4679
    @irodirod4679 Рік тому +6

    Wow!Wenze can not only can find the secret rooms of the INFJ mind, she walks in with a flood light and finds everything you thought were hidden. 😅

  • @pennypeace-cornelius191
    @pennypeace-cornelius191 Рік тому +17

    I had to be okay that I was deemed a failure as a parent. My values are different than others. Plus I couldn't ask for help if I was trying to please those who thought they know it all.

    • @andreahunter7281
      @andreahunter7281 Рік тому +1

      I can totally relate to being judged as a bad parent, both from my narcissistic ex & my children. After my relationship fell apart because I just couldn't pretend to care anymore I had to stop being a stay-at-home mum (like my ex expected) & get a job. It was hard physically but it gave me back my self esteem & although I've slipped up a few times since I now put ME first. Now at the end of most days I'm proud to be me & it's my opinion that counts. My children (who are now adults) now have to treat me as a human being NOT their personal emotional punchbag. I wish you all the best for the future.

  • @trashdaytheband
    @trashdaytheband Рік тому +2

    INFJ stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging

  • @destroyerofstupid7073
    @destroyerofstupid7073 Рік тому +17

    I only found out on October 17th 2022 that I'm an infj. This has been very helpful, and a big shot out to all infj people I hope you find your inner peace and make a big mark on this world. Thank you for this channel I'm learning more each day.

    • @kingyo8969
      @kingyo8969 Рік тому +2

      Hello fellow newbie! I just found out 4/19 and it was definitely a life changer, glad I found Wenzes too, her teachings are so helpful for navigating a successful INFJ life

  • @Jamiepalermo
    @Jamiepalermo Місяць тому

    Great video! I’m seeing I’ve carried pain at how much alone time I need. Like believing I will never have a home or “my own” family.

  • @MrM-mb5ll
    @MrM-mb5ll Рік тому +3

    Do INFJ's often end up in long-term relationships with Narcissists or those with Narcissistic tendencies? I think the Narcissists like having us around, because we are the only type of people that will put up with their B S. and we stay with them, because we are the only personality type who can see through their B.S. - and call them on it. I forgot to mention that we also love trying to fix those with personality disorders.
    Thoughts?

    • @purpurina5663
      @purpurina5663 Рік тому +4

      We do and for those reasons, but that doesn't mean you can/should take it on and that it won't destroy you. If you can, run. Trust me.

  • @ManasBommala
    @ManasBommala Рік тому +4

    The latest three videos are at another level. Came across this channel at the very right time of life. Ever thankful to Wenzes.

  • @lancelotdufrane
    @lancelotdufrane Рік тому

    Took me most of my life to stumble into these “truths”. Lessons learned the hard way, but I got here… and I’m still breathing. Life gets easier and more fulfilling if I stay close the guidelines.

  • @randomfornow
    @randomfornow Рік тому

    Brilliant!!

  • @lindateuling7862
    @lindateuling7862 Рік тому +3

    Five very thought-provoking items here. I'm thinking about some of these that I learned in my pre-Myers Briggs days - especially #2. That when I learned in my freshman year of college that about two months of dorm life was enough to last a lifetime. Also, with #3 - well, I knew that there was more to life than what was going inside my head and I actually learned how to make Fe work for me even though I was not familiar with the terminology.
    You made an excellent point when you mentioned number #4 - giving up connections based on self-sacrifice. I've learned and (still am) that i need self-love and self care first.
    I especially appreciated #1 - being willing to face failure. In fact, my systematic assertiveness training book actually taught me away to make this easier to do - namely, when criticized (especially in a manipulative way) simply agree with the truth, the odds or principle of what your critic says. (BTW, the techniques are called "fogging" and "negative assertion," but that's another topic for another time. 🙂). I think those terms can be googled.
    Taking the Myers-Briggs test in 1984 helped me to understand even better my own personal development. Your five points are right on target.

  • @cherylberk4593
    @cherylberk4593 Рік тому +1

    Excellent and true!❤️

  • @JustClaireRedfield
    @JustClaireRedfield Рік тому

    This is really helpful

  • @D.E.Middleton
    @D.E.Middleton Рік тому +1

    Great content
    Thank you.

  • @juliusmuhumuza3018
    @juliusmuhumuza3018 Рік тому +1

    I love you Wenz I really needed this

  • @mlbullbooks
    @mlbullbooks Рік тому +2

    Great video! Totally agree with all your points. 😊💯👍

  • @SamsonPavlov
    @SamsonPavlov Рік тому +2

    Thank you for sharing... 🙏❤️🪄

  • @thisintrovertsheart
    @thisintrovertsheart Рік тому +1

    Thank you Wenzes! Amazing and what i needed as always💕

  • @MatikoxPL
    @MatikoxPL Рік тому +1

    It was really helpful. Thank you.

  • @lilredheaded1
    @lilredheaded1 Рік тому

    Thank you for creating and sharing!

  • @ambermartin7096
    @ambermartin7096 Рік тому +1

    Wow thank you ❤️

  • @psputsimply
    @psputsimply Рік тому

    Wow, wow, wow 5 awesome truths nailed! 👏🏻❤️

  • @ocho8172
    @ocho8172 Рік тому +4

    Thank you, Wenzes! You map out everything in detail very, very well! I am reminded of the Zen Oxherding illustrative: Track and sign, inform the journey. You are an indispensable Guide, for all of us. God Bless you. Stay safe, and be well!

  • @annsjoholm7310
    @annsjoholm7310 Рік тому +2

    Thank you!

  • @user-rc2xs5ti2w
    @user-rc2xs5ti2w Рік тому

    Totally true.

  • @goteamslugs
    @goteamslugs Рік тому

    Thank you, thank you so much Miss Wenzes! God bless your soul! ^v^ 💛

  • @AriD2385
    @AriD2385 Рік тому

    Very solid advice. Resonates.

  • @karolsalesdeoliveira
    @karolsalesdeoliveira Рік тому

    Wenzes, Brasil here!! Thank you for the amazing videos, I love it!! Thanks! *.*

  • @the_alizerah
    @the_alizerah Рік тому

    I love you Wenzes. You're always on point with the very things I seem to be going through, always coming through. Much love❤. Thanks

  • @Rochelle118
    @Rochelle118 11 місяців тому +1

    💯💕💫awesome

  • @swaymbho
    @swaymbho Рік тому +1

    Thank you

  • @shivendrasingh5740
    @shivendrasingh5740 Рік тому +2

    Thank you mam!

  • @justChrisjones
    @justChrisjones Рік тому +2

    Thank you Wenzies, all true . I just had to get through regular life a little first. To finally achieve peace of mind and comfort.

  • @douglasmclean3723
    @douglasmclean3723 Рік тому

    excellent good wake up video going through alot of adversity at the moment but that did me the world of good. i have been trying to get rid of this pattern of behaviour for years and have lost in watching other peoples videos i have decided to have a 90 day rest

  • @TjadeWories
    @TjadeWories Рік тому +1

    I think you are amazing

  • @NganHoang-dy8el
    @NganHoang-dy8el Рік тому

    The #5 is extremely accurated. I just realized it a weak ago. And when started to put myself first. Do things that scared me. Keep the promised my made tp myself. And follow my value. I feel so proud and so good about myself that I dont care what people really think.

  • @theworldaccordingtoheather7071

    😅 I feel exposed.

  • @danielreiss-cy4zr
    @danielreiss-cy4zr Рік тому

    3x gold today, but I stop before bulimia. Really wonderful talks.

  • @SetheMbhali
    @SetheMbhali Рік тому

    The bob looks fine, Wenzy👌🏽😍

  • @Nafshadow
    @Nafshadow Рік тому +1

    Alhamde liAllah الحمد لله

  • @Natalie-lf7hb
    @Natalie-lf7hb Рік тому

    🙏

  • @matilda4406
    @matilda4406 Рік тому +1

    #1.. lol, yes!

  • @feliznavidad6958
    @feliznavidad6958 Рік тому

    I'm not giving up my inner world. It's the only thing keeping me alive. Reality is terrible, why would I want to live in it?

    • @raft115
      @raft115 11 місяців тому +1

      Remember we have the immense treasure of the true vision of the entire world ( at times it is there in the form of a small seed and with time it will grow) that no has this ✨

  • @karencrawford5491
    @karencrawford5491 Рік тому

    To have a termination

  • @raft115
    @raft115 11 місяців тому

    👏🎉

  • @tarakessinger3648
    @tarakessinger3648 Рік тому +1

    🙌🏻♥️🌈

  • @user-qu2hg1mb5z
    @user-qu2hg1mb5z Рік тому

    Alone time is a big thing to me as an INFJ

  • @FabianEllis
    @FabianEllis Рік тому +1

    I've been watching lots of Lady Gaga interviews and I think she may be an INFJ. Anyone agree?

  • @bradleyberentz3214
    @bradleyberentz3214 3 місяці тому

    ⚘️ Yooooo ⚘️

  • @avalonarkka5938
    @avalonarkka5938 11 місяців тому

    Going to end any sacrifice vibe. Enough of the bullcrepes. Let their GOD save 'em. I'm just a human.

  • @user-qu2hg1mb5z
    @user-qu2hg1mb5z Рік тому +1

    How do I tap into my ESTP side?

  • @TM.M.d.M.-xv5su
    @TM.M.d.M.-xv5su Рік тому

    Giving Ideas Away and Saying idk It just Came to MiE say Nothing of It an See it Come too LiGHt in Public an Going Like thts Awesome n Cold- forever a 3d- floor ah t.v,

  • @ericac9634
    @ericac9634 Рік тому

    But I am being myself. I'm a giver lol!

    • @raft115
      @raft115 11 місяців тому

      Your cup might run dry

  • @VtojeC
    @VtojeC Рік тому

    Can you stop making yourself younger than you're really are on your thumbnails? It's so disturbing for me :/

  • @luciana1930
    @luciana1930 Рік тому

    Thank you

  • @SetheMbhali
    @SetheMbhali Рік тому

    The bob looks fine, Wenzy👌🏽😍