How To STOP Walking On Eggshells In Relationships
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- #lifecoach #selflove #codependency #relationships
Toxic/Narcissistic people condition their significant other to walk on eggshells - this video helps you to know how to STOP!!
For one on one life coaching with me: www.micheleleeneves.com/services
Affordable Video Coaching $60:self-love-narc...
Marrying a covert narcisist its a life sentence
It *could* be, but it doesn't have to be! We *all* need to listen to people like Michele!
@M. Di Federico some couples can get married. I agree fools shouldn't
@M. Di Federico don't get married.
Not if you dump them!
@@Wildchile you can't....
A flashback to car rides, being manipulated into things you would never do, walking into the condominium from hell, your good mood sensed & immediately sabotaged.
A seldom read journal is there to refresh the memory if ever necessary. It's like the book of never would now ever let happen. People pleasing toxic behavior has been left in a previous chapter.
Holy crap! I'm not the only one who got the car rides! Those were just the worst.
Yes good riddance to toxic relationships!!! God Bless us All 🙏🏼💞🙏🏼
When you said “car rides” it struck a strong chord with me, but I’m not sure exactly what car rides mean to you. For me, it was a pattern of long stressful car rides (that I never really wanted to go on, as I don’t really enjoy being stuck in the car) that usually turned sour. So I was wondering if that’s what you meant, or something like it? I apologize in advance as I know it’s rude to pry or ask very personal questions of a stranger, I just feel compelled to ask you or anyone else who has been in a toxic relationship if long, stressful car rides were something anyone else has experienced. Thanks 🙏
@@Emiliapocalypse No worrys ! I'm glad to share and thanks for the if you were prying concern. I just meant literally the car rides were a chance to isolate and dominate. A ride to the mall became a rise to mean a mall 50 miles away. Plus all the dominance of how you drive. I always always drive passively. Narcs drive like the road is all theirs. I think back and cant believe the shit I let slide. It was a vulnerable time that has now seen much growth of self and what kind of disordered folk are out their wearing a mask until it slips. Live and learn well. Zero chance it would happen again. I could go on and on but couldn't we all.
Journaling really helped me start to wake up. I checked in with myself and wrote what I noticed. I noticed when he was coming home soon, I felt a need to change. If I was sad, I pretended to be happy. If I was happy, I’d tone it down out of “respect” for him. Of course I thought that meant something was wrong with ME, not that I was living in a chaotic home with a partner who would make me feel guilty for everything, even just be-ing.
He was envious of my good moods. He criticized me for being sad. There was never any making him happy. Then he’d gaslight me saying he could never make me happy because I WANTED to be miserable. He said I was to blame because he had to walk on eggshells around me but if I ever said the same, he’d say it’s also my fault that I’m walking around eggshells.
He was so rational and wise (or so I thought) most of the time that I believed him that *I* must be a freak who doesn’t know how or who to be. So draining, holy hell.
Been there. Done that. Try something different. Call it out as it happens. Speak your truth in real time and see how empowered you feel. Pretend you're reading aloud your journal and look him in the eyes when you do it. You will be amazed at how grand you feel...when you go to bed, you will probably have some of the Best rest you've had in years!
Put yourself first.
Oh, Wow! I've heard all these same comments. Messing with my head is what it feels like and I'm in a constant fog when he's around.
@@WinLoseFreedom You are so right! The hardest part for me was being certain I could do it with no emotion whatsoever. My narcs (mom - covert, and older brother - malignant) are visibly "fed" by emotion of any kind, good or bad, doesn't matter, you see the little "gotcha" twinkle in their eye. I had to practice saying the words, "You seem upset right now. Maybe we can talk when you've had a chance to calm down" without anger or fear of their response. I use the same tone and attitude I would use to say, "Yes, I've been wanting to see that movie for a long time" or "That cranberry salad mold looks amazing." Pleasant, polite, constructive - that's it. Mom just folds. She will literally deflate, and can't leave the room fast enough. Narc bro will roll his eyes, go quiet, seething, for a while but he's incapable of letting it go, usually explodes in a public, juvenile, ridiculous tirade as a "kiss off" on his way out the door. In the interim. he's a dark little cloud, grunting answers at people, and doing the silent treatment. It's almost like a script they have, pushing buttons. They're completely enmeshed, so these little dramas tend to play themselves out during family get-togethers. The beauty of calling out their shenanigans in the moment and remaining sure of myself is that their little tirades aren't a "dirty little secret" between them and me any more. They're right there in front of other friends and family, not something I have to carry around and try to discuss with them later, when they'll invalidate, "forget exactly what was said", and otherwise belittle me for objecting to their abuse. It's obvious to everyone that there's a problem, and who it is. You just can't join in the emotional drama!
Journaling really helped me too.
I use those opposite moods though as a strategy because I know I dont trust them so I always try to be the opposite or give them what they want. It's kinda evil but it's gotten to that point. You wont steal my joy.
It's more of a strategy.
I dont have the time or care to even deal with their anger.
@@eurokay4755 your comment was awesome and relatable. Can you give an example of how you would call out the behavior during family functions? What if they make covert slights that aren’t apparent to others and you calling them out gets you further pegged as being “too sensitive”?
As long as the angry person gets their own way by using anger to control those around them they are being rewarded for bad behaviour and have no reason to stop as its get them their own way. If I dont feel safe in a relationship I walk away and won't enable abusive behaviour. It feels great and empowering to stop adding to their problem.
I'm just glad you are better and thriving.
Michele this is the most powerful video I have seen. I t was a HUGE and impactful(not sure if that’s a word or not) . I am still living with my current narc on the same property but I am trying to get the money together to leave! You and others like you are helping me so much. This video has impacted me the most though. Please more videos like this. It’s going to help me for the final months. Others too. Thank you so much for your channel. I will be listening to this video until I have it memorized.
There is a book of daily guidance "One day at a time", the index has a list of topics & page numbers, read all of the pages on detachment, Blessings Love is the answer
My boyfriend and I both have anxiety and are college students. We both have a lot of stress and are not good at managing it and are empaths, so we feel each other's stress. He's been pulling away but I know he loves me. He'll say these incredibly sweet things but not put effort into talking regularly or seeing each other. Feeling like I was carrying our relationship and feeling confused and stressed, I just found out that he's grown distant because he feels (in different words) like he has to walk on eggshells around me. Admittedly, I am a very sensitive person and I get hurt easily. I overanalyze and it gets me into trouble, but I have learned to be resilient and am ok with getting hurt. He loves me and doesn't want to hurt me but it has led to him being constantly afraid of hurting me. I hate that he is feeling like this and am trying to figure out if there is anything to do about it. I'm willing to change how I communicate certain things and work on my reactions to things.
I'm not an angry person but he has been with a toxic girl in the past with what seemed like a lot of anger issues and unfortunately, she took it out on him. It breaks my heart to hear some of the things that happened and I always try to be sensitive to that, it seems the problem lies with worrying about hurting me. I don't want to blame him or make him feel bad for anything. I think we both have some self-work to do. it'll defiantly take time but I'm willing to put in that time and effort cause at the end of the day, I love him and he deserves to be happy.
Great video, thanks for posting! 👍👍👍
This is what I do with my family , not my ex. He hardly exists. Thx. I am wanted dead. Michele, my physical body needs the reversal. This is not about the mind.
3:45 yeah, to stop codependently waiting for someone's "permission" to be myself etc, (whether or not the other person has narcissism.) Way to go w this video.
Michele so helpful. I immediately feel better. Great advice. Thank you
Is good think, always more people speak about narcissists. We have to admit that we have always more narcissm and what to do about it and to search for root of problem. Because is time when we can't stay away from them anymore, they are too many. And if we ignore all narcissists now, they will be still problem, they can't survive by themselves, they are depend people, mainly emotionally.
Experts are saying, reason for narcissm is, we have always less empathy in society.
When we will start to teach empathy, compassion, love, we will get rid of narcissm.
And to give attention to children and care.
Narcissts didn't get attention like children, that is reason why they searching for attention all their lives.
I had friend psychologist in past when I was married to narcissist. I never forgot what He told me:
you can never give to him, what he did not get from his mother like child, love, attention.
Those people are searching for love, attention, admiration all their lives because they didn't get like children.
Nobody can give them, what they are missing, sadly. And they are not capable of giving too.
Some they were abused. That is reason why they have need to abuse others. They do, what they learned.
They like being married, and creating family and than continue circle again, they do with their children what happend to them. Spouse and children will be their supply too, sadly.
And after leaving narcisst, problem is still not resolved, like happend to me. Me and children, continued attracting narcissists. For years I was attracting coworkers, managers narcissts. Worse people than was ex husband. Trauma continued, was not over.
I walk on eggshells almost every day
First time I met her, I started to go on eggshells. Then I didn't know what was wrong. It felt just awkward.
They are very hurt as persons.
Jesus I love your channel ....
What if this person is your stepdaughter she fits the typical narcissist?? She’s 19 and still living at home. She’s like this 24-7.
So true ..
I believe that LIFE starts @conception and doesn't End @death >>>>
Thank you
Michele I sendet you a gmail, I really like to comunicate with you.
I hope to hear from you.
With love Susanne
Wow, the 3 C's.....that's awesome. Those of us who had an abusive parent and didn't know we were walking on eggshells all of our childhood, and of course, we couldn't simply walk away....no children leave their families... Right???? We then became trapped as adults because of swiss cheese boundaries or no boundaries and feelings of not deserving happiness, we waste literally years trying to love someone or more than 1 toxic person, until we realize that we cannot fix them or our relationship with them and that they were not the love of our lives, because they were not able to love us back. Walking away is the hardest thing we'll ever do, but sometimes the only thing we can do to sweep away the eggshells and finally breathe, smile, laugh and feel joy, peace and happiness. I'm sure that our efforts to get back to who we were are worth whatever it takes. Thank you again Michele....🤗🎄🎁
Karen T Love your comment could identify with you all the way ...I decided to relationship-rest & buy a dog - that was 16 yrs. ago ! Best revenge for all your disappointment is a life well lived on your own regardless ...(maybe we are all programmed to take relationships too seriously seeing so many go down the pan👌ldn...)
13:26-13:53 “You may find that you’ve changed a lot because toxic people find an immense amount of pleasure remolding someone into something that they’re not. In fact, they love to remold a healthy person to carry THEIR pathology. So, YOU look more and more mentally unstable and THEY look more stable. So, stop allowing them to mold you into something that you’re NOT.” Absolutely brilliantly put. I always find great comfort in your videos. Thank you 🙏
*cough* That sounds like a lot of projectors I see in narcissism channel's comments.
It's so tiring
And exhausting too 😞.
I know - I've been there - hope this video helps!!
@@FromSurvivingToThriving I agree wholeheartedly.... I went to Al Anon to "help my partner" to cope with the drinking and outbursts their reply on my first night there was......... "Stop being controlling, it's his problem to solve not yours"! Well you could have knocked me over with a feather.......... they were right and my life started to change at that moment...... there is hope people BUT you have to get away from them for YOU..... and let them deal with THEM.......... CHOOSE !!! thankyou for your videos Michele I have shared them with friends who need them... stay beautiful xx
@ ks. You nailed it. Only mine discarded me and has now gone silent. One day I had the most amazing family, now I'm in a hotel looking at the walls. Broken, beat, and completely alone. My whole family (her family) has ,I guess shunned me. No telling what they are being told. I never imagined in my intire life I would be here. Our life together wasn't bad at all. But in the end she gathered up all the tiny issues and made them all bad to have an excuse to do what she's done. And my 5 year old little girl probably doesn't have a clue what's happening. My heart is broken 💔 completely.
Especially when they become angry and you feel the anxiety to stop them from boiling over.
It is a horrible feeling, that I do not want to experience throughout the years of my marriage.
Yes fear of making the other person angry does go on when we are constantly walking on eggshells trying to please the other person who is toxic .
Mike 👍
it's a game they play. They make you feel ill at ease. If you can, walk away. No one should be with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable all of the time.
This totally describes my ex-wife. Nine years of marriage which seemed like a lifetime and surely the stress took years off my life.
One of your BEST videos I listened to. Always good videos but with this one you knock it out of the park even for a greater audience beyond NPD to learn from 👌💥🙏
Just before 14:00
Get back to your authentic self by doing the healthy things you love. Each time to refrain from being you because of what the narc thinks or wants, you allow them to erase, smudge and change your core identity...My blueprint. Do Not try to address irrational behavior. Love yourself first. Detach with boundaries and stay grounded. Thank you Nieves! U da ish girl!
Love what you wrote here!!! It's hard though, when they punish you for not meeting their expectations. Makes me hesitate doing those healthy things. :-))
@@azdoglover7 We're all works in progress. The change begins within you. Today. Just start doing something for you. Yes, you. You deserve it.
@@WinLoseFreedom So happy to receive your precious input.
Your voice was made for therapy Thank you. Your eyes say the rest
Not gonna lie, I feel like I've been walking on eggshells with my family members & my dad for years. It's hard to break the mental thoughts...
I went gray rock about 10 months ago, thanks to the help of this channel. No more eggshells :-) Cheers!
& Yes !! I recently really started getting back to MY authentic self , doing things I love and that are important to me ( that my narc has no interest in) .. I know that I need to do this for myself and it is helping my on my journey
16:00 You don't have to raise your voice. Be yourself. Commit to live in real time...not brief moments of happiness that you look forward to coming again. Accept the reality. Have boundaries with yourself and others. Refuse to engage. Gems!!! Thanks Queen!
Awesome video that described me to a tee for 45 years. I’ve been doing grey rock since I saw your video on it and with the major breakthroughs I’ve had with NET therapy in the last few weeks, it’s now time to ease out of grey rock and and put that love back in my heart but with the goal of being me, being true to myself and letting the world see me for who I am and not what life long trauma made me. Thank you, Michele!
Yes for most of my relationship with my narc ex-wife I did Walk On Eggshells, but towards the end of our relationship I didn't care if she got upset any more. Thanks Michele for another informative video.
"Observe, don't absorb"...... very helpful, thank you! 🌞
It is just survival, been there, done that. Occasionally, I find myself getting cought up in it, but I am so much more self aware.
I ultimately confronted his constant negativity and told him that I avoid coming home and doing things for him because I'm done with the constant criticism. I stopped doing his laundry and cooking for him for a while. I told him that if he wants me Todo these things any more he has to start giving me kind words and talk to me like he loves me. I explained that if he wants to stay married that our relationship has to be equal give and take.
Project Queen ....And?? Just curious to know how you got on!
@@ok-kay4589 I'm not sure what you mean. I'm guessing your asking how I'm doing. I'm actually doing really well. I accept what is with him when he comes in being moody. Sometimes I excuse myself to the bathroom and take a few deep breaths. I remind myself that I am not responsible for his mood swings. I can just be me. If he complains about something not being done (as he often did). I would clean the living room spotless and he would gripe about a few dishes beside the sink. It was like this daily for almost 18 years. I now take time out to love myself and make it ok to stand up to him. I now boldly say something like "oh, perhaps you can wash those plates. I've been busy in the living room. I am surrounded with friends that love me a speak life into me. I spend time encouraging and lifting up other women in similar circumstances. I know now that my marriage does not have to be to my wishes for me to feel happy and blessed.
I have also learned powerful prayer methods. : ) My God is so good to me. He fills in the gaps where my husband is incapable.
I'll add. I do cook occasionally now, however my confidence is a bit shaken in this area...working on that too. I wash his laundry, but I have him put it away.
I stopped cooking because it was never good enough, yet when he cooks it's SO fabulous. Now when he comes home & there's no food, oh well. Cook it yourself. Then I hear him on the phone with a buddy telling him how his wife didnt even make dinner & can you believe that?!
@@sahdogwrangler5594 I forgot to add...the 1st time I refused to make him a sandwich heblew up, told me that I was the worst wife for doing that and stonewalled me for weeks. It's till annoying, but I just do my own thing and find reasons to be busy outside the house for a time. He is not the air that I breathe. He is a boy trapped in a man's body. I don't mean that ugly. I often wonder what happened to him to have him be stuck like that.
@@projectqueen610 cook and wash. muslima?
Really reminds me of my ex-wife. I wasn't exactly walking on eggshells the entire time (we got together in 2011) but I wanna say it started in 2014 or 2015 give or take. It really was tiring. I notice as I look back on this, months later, that I was emotionally drained, a binge eater and that I was always constantly stressed out/paranoid. Also that I had a "curfew" where I wasn't allowed to go out much as she was envious of my friends. Cuz we all know that narcs don't want you to be happy. They wanna suck up all of the positive emotions like emotional leeches.
Also the patterns of the narc, they never change. As evident that my ex is STILL the same way with her new s/o. Also if anything is to go off of, she's still trying to get at me by harassing my friends. It's sad and pathetic. She went silent for two months and tried harassing my friend last week. They all ended up blocking her. "Toxic people take pleasure into molding a person into something they're not. So they look more stable." That definitely sounds like my ex, too. Because at the end, she WAS making me look like the loony.
Four months later I see now that I am better off even though I still feel grief due to mental abuse. I've gotten a lot better though! You make a good point that we need to go back to how we were before the narcissistic abuse. That we all need to work on how to better ourselves. I've personally had friends and family that have been encouraging and supporting.
When you walk on eggshells in a relationship its a sure sign you should leave the relationship. It will only do lots of damage to your confidence, sense of self and your life. Also the stress hormones that are constantly released due to the tension damage your brain. Get out as soon as you can!
Hi Do you have more information about the stress and how does affect the brain. Thank you.
Absolutely. Prolonged periods of stress cause numerous health problems.
Absolutely correct. Thank you for your wisdom. I always questioned why the degree of anger never seemed to correspond with what they were angry about . I love the three C’s.
Thank you for your videos, you are a God sent and you touch subjects “Romantic” world doesn’t mention and try to excuse.
Your own peace of mind is so valuable and powerful. Don't ever let anyone steal it from you. Your peace of mind does not depend on anyone else. When others see that you won't allow them to steal your peace of mind, they will want to have their own peace of mind as well, and they will stop trying to steal yours. You can't be kind and loving to anyone else until you know how to be kind and loving to yourself.
bluenetmarketing I agree with everything you wrote except that I doubt that a narcissist would also want peace of mind ;)
@@rbnutwood2735 very true! The only "mind" they have is what they can steal from others.
That feeling, when they are coming home from work and you are almost sure you won’t evening get a Word, surely not a kiss or a kind word. They just throw themselves at the couch and start going through the texts from messenger/FB for narcissistic supply.
So then what technique we should use?
That’s exactly what my bf does most nights just says one or too words and on his phone all night or watching tv! Or critical of something I’ve done. I’ve Tryed everything it’s so hurtful and I just done know what to do.
@@grunge_surf_witch_uk9130 The only question I had to answer to myselft was, "Do I wan't to be in this kind of treatment/relationship", it was not easy, but I was broken down completely, so basicly I had no choice. I ended the relationship and went full no contact. Felt terrible, but now (not completely) I feel better than in a long time.
Anything would set mine off I’d even think before speaking because I knew certain subjects would set him off if it made him mad I would get yelled at hung up on or given the silent treatment even over things that were his fault that would set him off it could be all his fault but would get blamed all on me.... if I set him off I would find myself quickly trying to change the subject while he would be going off on me. I constantly had to think long and hard about the things I said before I said them.
Thank you! I've been walking on eggshells for 30 years. I was constantly apologizing. I finally realized what was going on just recently. We had a huge blow up a few days ago & he's been giving me the silent treatment which I've come to actually to be grateful for. I dread him coming home from work tomorrow. I'm just starting to learn how to deal with this.
Thank you for doing what you do. I learned in my younger years that you only leave a spouse if you're being beaten. You helped me see the damage that's being done to my poor children by staying. Therefore, I am filing for divorce right away and will soon be exposing my children to a healthy social circle. Thanks for educating!
This is refreshing - taking the focus off figuring out “who’s the bad guy?”, “am I the a-hole?” or “why do they treat me like this?”- taking the whole focus off them - the other - the narcissist - whatever, whoever - and putting the onus of control onto us.
I’m willing to examine my responsibility, to be vulnerable, because that pain is the only way to change and grow positively. It will be worth the sacrifice. “Pain is temporary. Self-respect, self-trust, and self-love is forever”.
My whole life i walked on eggshells....and it was awful 😩
🚀 Accept someone for who they are and not who you wish them to be or who they were in the beginning of the relationship 🚀
I just dont understand why you dont tell people to get out instead of teaching them how to stay in a toxic situation but learn some skills...
I gave up on him going back to the guy I knew when dating. Now I'm slowly getting rid of the eggshells.
It's a game they play. They make you feel ill at ease. If you can, walk away. No one should be with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable all of the time.
I spoke to my narc last night. I said we needed to talk as I’m ready to end it. He said we could talk about it face to face today. It’s been 5 years of unhappiness. He constantly cheats, lies manipulates, gaslights and psychically abuses me through his narcissistic rage. He’s constantly following 1000s of women on social media and loves the likes and comments he receives from them to boost his ego and validate him. He’s asked me for my bank details a few months ago as he owes tax debt and is paying it off monthly. Last month he said he was too broke to give me the money for it so I had to pay. I’ve got another few months of him using my bank account to pay it off.
I’m going to tell him I need the £100 back and he needs to use someone else’s bank account as I am going to cancel the payments. I am going to try and stay calm and talk facts then leave. This video has helped just like all yous others. Thank you x
Yes, close your bank and resources to the narc and stop trying to rationalize with them. No,don’t meet in person, it’s dangerous and they just want to confuse, abuse and use you. They don’t care and you don’t owe them anything. You are not responsible and should not feel guilty for loving yourself.
Please don't tell him you are going to leave him & don't confront him or expect him to be understanding .. Just make an air tight plan & just leave & get some support .. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼Good Luck , keep educating yourself, that's how I got through my nightmare relationship
@@bmoremom8458 Good advice .. It's so hard to realize that they really don't give a damn about us & are only with us to use us in any way they can .. They are only nice when they want something , I'm so happy I finally left my Narc
Oh my gosh! Make a commitment to live in real time! Love this.
The same applies to a boss,relative or close friend
Your method will probably work for women . For men facing covert narc the thing to do is to realise that he must take charge . And know that the more benefit of doubt given and the more fair and equal men wants to treat them the more they will take advantage and the more they will try to take over and destroy through their covert ways. And if the man is able to think clearly and out of the box one can see through their ploy and easily counter it. They are quite childish actually.
The person around me is so toxic right when I started playing a video on my phone, they played one too.
I’ve just spent my whole day being anxious about him coming home. I do it a LOT! I’m turning 50 in a few days, and I’ve spent my entire life so far with people who make me feel like this. I know they don’t change. I know I need to get out to finally live for real, but this video helps me for right now! 🙏
Love eventually wares off... You get tired and the only desire is to leave
This is the best advice regarding the (Eggshell feeling) I have ever seen over the course of a year in searching for videos about this issue.
I just want to live happily in my marriage, but I cannot deny that there is strain. Most of which, is what I have allowed today, due to my childhood.
Every word and detail in this video struck a core, that made me see areas of my behavior that other videos could not fully convey. Thank you!
It's the hardest thing to recover from. Thank you Michelle for your advice.
Thank you so much, all of your videos are so helpful.
I really like this video because I know he is not going to change so I have to change how I deal with him.
I’m trying to find myself after 16 years of walking on eggshells.
My therapist and all of your videos really helps me with working on myself.
Fear from someone getting angry. You better believe it! For a guy, if a woman is screaming and crying having a tantrum, in public, for no discernible reason, I’m terrified someone would call the police, I would get falsely blamed for assault, get arrested, spend the night in jail. This happened a bunch of times. I’m out of there, as fast as my little legs can carry me. The reality here is that my GF was having a psychological break, I had nothing to do with. Nor did she care in the least the consequences for her actions. 1. I will never see her again, ever. 2. She takes zero responsibility for anything. 3. Never an apology, excuse, or reason. 4. Lastly, if I want to see her, well I just have to live with her cycling her personality disordered behavior. "Radical acceptance,” they call it, and that is a ticket to an early grave, no one can take psychological cruelty without damaging yourself. Get out! Stay out!
Normally I adore your videos but this video was stressful to watch. Your breathing is tight and you seem almost like you’re tempted to walk on eggshells for us! Your audience. There is a compassionate and empowering way to deliver this message of self-accountability. You’re almost there but not quite imo. With love ❤️
You've helped me so much. Thank you.
My marriage, 20 years of walking on eggshells... And before that, 20 years with a narcissistic father. Once you realise all this, it's better than having won the lottery.
Hi Melissa. I found this video very helpful. I am a therapist and I have referred client's of mine to listen to this for homework and discuss with me. Thanks for the work you are doing!
I love this video! I noted the inclusion of the widsom as follows:
Maya Angelou --- "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
My family had this dynamic with my mother. My partner and i have been together for nearly 5 years and he also came from a family dynamic of walking on eggshells with his mother. Weve never been this way with eachother we never raise our voices, and never blame or guilt eachother. Its been a huge surprise to walk into this same dynamic with new people in our lives and having this walking on eggshells people pleaser in us come out again. Im ready to heal. Ready to set boundaries. This whole time ive been asking myself whats wrong, why do i feel so uncomfortable with these people, whats upseting me. My partners been asking the same thing. Because our past is being triggered. Weve never healed it and we are letting ourselves be walked on and treated poorly and immensely fearing and taking responsibility for other people emotions and reactivity. No more. Its like my eyes are open and i can see again. Time to regain my power and get back to my true self.
I had a stupid ass acquaintance, I wouldn’t call the person a friend because this is not a friend. All the time I was walking on egg shells. Couldn’t act myself everything I did said was wrong. The person even bitched at me for the way I put butter on bread. It was so annoying and I’m so glad they are out of my life. I hope they never call me again. I was alone and that’s why I would hang out with them (acquaintance).
This was so amazing I am in tears.
You do not understand that walking on eggshells is an unconcious habit. It is not something you choose deliberately. When you were conditioned in your childhood to walk on eggshells, you will walk on eggshells all the time. When you buy bread, when you go to the gym, when you text your best friend. I know exactly what is good for me, and I choose the things that serve me, but with a constant knot in my stomach, anxiety and rumination and always prepared for a fight and losing people in your life.
I have lived wi a my narcissistic mother 18yrs then met my partner who is also narcissistic n av been wi him 33yrs . Ive never been on my own n luv my partner still....why???? Afta everything hes done to me !! Ive tried to leave him loads of times but feel ive no strength or no future on my own ...please help or advise 💔
In all of the different videos I've listened to, something that hasn't come up is, what if your narc uses sickness and a medical condition to control you? What if they use these conditions to put fear into you and call you unloving and uncaring? Because he IS a narc, I'm never sure how true his condition is. He will have a 'sugar low' or some sort of 'spell' to control me. Now he has COPD and uses that as well. Your videos help me SO much to know I'm not going insane. I don't walk on eggshells because I call his bluff often enough but there's always that nagging doubt in my mind as to how sick he really IS.
My husband is like that. I finally decided it was me or him. One of us was gonna get sick and die. I decided it sure as he'll wasn't gonna be me. So I left. I miss my kids, but I was beginning to get physically sick trying to take care of his sickness. And as you know, he was always sicker when I was sick.
Going through this right now been with my partner 10 years . Got 4 kids all under 10 she don’t wanna be with me ever anymore . Saying she hasn’t had a life and all that been split up a year this may been the biggest emotional thing I’ve ever been through and I’ve lost both parents 20 years ago and this is more draining . She says she just wants to be friends and all that I try and do everything for her but it’s draining I could cry every day I’m absolutely lost love her to death
I am fully surrounded by narc people without any support this video helped a lot
Michele ,you are so super talented. Thank you for being you. ❤
This is why I joined the friggin military. So tired of people draining your energy. I'm ready to travel and there is a strong brotherhood with us
Exhausting beyond belief! It's like trying to get my cat to bark? Trying to make sense out of nonsense is perpetual misery! Focus forward and NEVER look back... Michele- You are always brilliant and beautiful! Thank you. XO
I was a magnet for Cluster B. When my submissive way showed, I can't say no. I went on a 7 year lust binge and I'm lucky I didn't catch anything. I always felt loved until I started practicing Mindfulness and celibacy. Now that's done , I had no idea my trauma was gonna grab me. I'm not a bad person. If you want me to unsubscribe let me know. Your vids keep me from sobbing. Only the one that really was a little girl on there being picked on. Now ever since I can't see my son , I was suicidal then I was deranged.
Hang in there, friend. It's been a month since I have seen my kids after leaving my narcissist. I read "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle and found it very helpful and healing. You might give it a read. Sending you love!
Been dealing with anxiety disorder depression over relationship with narcissist bpd 4 years rotting away
I have been looking for this advice. Thank you! I’m just him dating him but we are both are marriage minded. He says I’m what he has always been looking for but he is constantly detaching from me and not talking to me for months. I am going to listen to your advice and either let him go or change the dynamics. Hopefully it works so I don’t have to let him go because we are so good together.
He avoids certain question especially when I ask him is he being faithful to me it starts an argument
21:44
What a great video! Going right down the list ✅✅✅✅✅ this hits home 🙏☀️
Thank you for great advice Michele❤
i have a 4th *C*..but that would be name calling....😂😉
Thank you! Wonderful video, you explain things so well! ❤️ Is it possible to recover from codependency while still being married/living with a narcissist?
It's hard but yes it is possible - but it does change the dynamics in the relationship and if the narcissists loses power over you - which happens when you heal - they may either discard you or increase the abuse to reestablish power - just be aware of that! sending peace and good vibes
@@FromSurvivingToThriving Thank you so much, I'm really grateful you took the time to reply. That makes sense. Lots of love from Eastern Europe! ❤️❤️❤️
Michelle, you got my name and number, girl. Wow 😮 great content
You are wonderful Michelle😎Bob.
It's hard when they don't even know what they are doing to person who is walking on eggshells
Michelle, you are such a blessing to so many! I've been watching you for over a year now and your growth and maturity ...it's astounding to see!😘
The Catch word is TRYing and trying >>>>
Thank you so very much for all of your videos! They have changed my life for the best!! :)
Excellent Michelle. U'r really helping people.
Michelle I would like to become a coach
Where do I find the video of court prosedure for assault
This is a really helpful video thank you Michele !
Wow, you look so stunning and beautiful!
I dont react any. Isue of my life i feel good
Well I met her in the garden
Underneath that old apple tree
Sitting with a handful of flowers
Looking as cool as can be
We talked away a couple of hours
Then she laid her hand on my lap
Oh I thought I got to be dreaming
I didn't know I fell in her trap
Then she made me say things I didn't want to say
Then she made me play games I didn't want to play
She was a soul stripper, yeah
She took my heart
She was a soul stripper, ooh
And tore me apart
She started moving nice and easy
Slowly getting near to my spine
Killing off each last little feeling
Ooh everyone she could find
And when she had me hollow and naked, yeah
That's when she put me down
Pulled out a knife and flashed it before me
Stuck it in and turned it around
Then she made me say things I didn't want to say, you know
Then she made me play games I didn't want to play
She was a soul stripper, yeah
Ooh she took my heart
Ooh was a soul stripper
Tore me apart
Soul stripper, soul stripper
You're a soul stripper
Soul stripper, soul stripper
Soul stripper
Took out my heart
And tore it apart
Aah you're a soul stripper
Soul stripper, soul stripper