𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝?
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- Опубліковано 12 кві 2024
- #femalefriendship #adultfriendships
𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝? I have been wondering this for a while and apparently I am not alone. But why are female friendships so difficult? Is it because of envy? Competition caused by mysiogyny? Watch the full video to hear my thoughts ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა
Btw...I have being reading your comments for my past videos. Thank you for interacting and sharing your perspectives. They make my day (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡
Sending lots of love to you ♡♡♡
i'm in the process of distancing myself from a really close friend because she's overtly admitted being jealous of me and making hateful comments because of it; she also gossips about me with her boyfriend. things that aren't even her business really, but i told her in confidence.
Omg, am so sorry to hear that! Sending Lots of love✨💞
Such a good video! I've been friends with my best friend, who now I consider family, for around 15 years and we've had our share of issues but knowing that she'll always have my back and that she's open to talk about the issues we're facing has always held us together. I have another bestfriend and we've been besties since we met, who now lives in another continent but I know that if I ever need her she'll always be available to hear me out. And I've had my fare shares of fake friendships with people in general not just women and I've noticed that it is always to do with what they think I make them feel. Like people will interpret your actions according to their perceptions and their mindset at the time so I've tried to take their behaviour as nothing personal. That's helped a lot in keeping my peace.
So true!! People tend to project what they are feeling! 🫶🏾Thank you for watching and sharing your perspective 😊 Glad you loved the video ✨💞
This is such a great video.
Awww 🥰 thank you so much. Glad you think so✨💞
This is interesting. Expanded my perspective on how people view female friendship.
To me it was the other way around, I avoided straight male friends for most of my life, I just wouldn't feel comfortable, safe or they eventually would make a move and I would cut them and they would change. Not worth the drama. My mother and grandma might have passed that on to me, but from lived experience, at least growing up in Brazil, it is legit.
Now I do have 1 or 2 straight guy friends, mostly from outside Brazil. But I will always feel more comfortable around women and queer men.
As for challenges with girl friends...
I did have 2 friends during teenage years that were very close and -seemingly for no reason- we just distanced ourselves. I see a bit of that rivalry mentioned in the video was in play, for sure. The only things I remember was being but-hurt by a close friend who copied my pink hair and my notebook... she eventually hooked up with the boy I had a crush on who had openly admitted to have a crush on me, but that was no biggie. I was more betrayed by her copying my hair and notebook tbh, but again, I was 13.
The other one I actually stepped away consciously when I was 16. We were both obsessed with the same band and met through their concerts. She was always very sweet, but when it came to any band related thing, she would always make sure to repeat that she had been a fan for longer, that she knew the band better or had a closer "friendship" with the band members. I sensed I started to feel like I didn't get enough from the band (when I did get plenty! they even dedicated a song to me at some point) but I noticed that our interactions always made me feel jealous, ressentful and less than, so I stepped away. Looking back I see she was insecure about her body and just wanted to have a win being the band's favorite fan, at least in her head. All very silly, but very real and intense feelings for a teen girl.
These days, with a more mature mindset I even considered reaching out to them to clear the air, but it's just silly.
I've learned to voice it when something hurts me or others I care about, but it is not easy and some times is also not worth the trouble. I see specially on the friendships that I keep from childhood and teenage years that it is hard to disagree without activating some strong sense of betrayal in the other. A bit of regression to that "besties have to share the same brain, tastes and feels".
A college friend recently admitted to distance herself on purpose because I was in a happy relationship and she was just going through a breakup. The funny thing is that I met my husband at the museum while taking her out to a park-museum-pub date so she could have some fun and get over her wack ex boyfriend. She and the boyfriend got back together, even got engaged and she kept her distance and so did I. Once they broke up, she reached out and we got closer again. We live in different cities at the moment, so I guess that me being in a happy relationship was not as much of a bother as it was for her when we shared dorms (my husband, then my first and only boyfriend, never even walked in the house we lived bc there was a no guys allowed policy, she literally saw him 3 times before disappearing from my life and was already over me being in love lol), theeeen she brought up the fact she was hurt I didn't invite her to my wedding. I was like... "girl, you weren't even speaking to me!" And she was like, "true, things were weird, we were just in different vibes" lol
That being said, I def have way more positive experiences with female friends than I do negative. Some are my childhood friends, others are women I lived with in shared houses in my early and late 20s, very different points of my life. We might not talk everyday, but we are there for each other in each and every important life event or soul crisis.
I love reading this😭🫶🏾Thank you for sharing ✨💞
This is nowhere near my experience, I've had male and friends. Some of them were shitty (both male and female) and some of them are wonderful.
Thank you for sharing ✨💞
I had this friend ( lets call her A) , she was like very cute, very pretty ( not like the tiktok models but she is the normal kind of pretty), and we had many things in common. And from some time after i started notice some weird stuff. So... it happened to go out a lot, and when i was telling her i liked someone in a bar, like anynone...the minute we were going home, she would text me " Look he followed me on insta" and he texted her and she texted back etc. Like...every time. Until one time, me and another friend ( lets call her B) used to hang out in a club and i liked the bartender and i told her. Let me just say that this ex friend has a bf and says that he is the love of her life....And that other friend told her to come and the minute she came, she flirted with him. And then B, said he liked him too, so i thought that i should take as step back, and of course the bartender followed only A on insta. Once, we went to a concert and all night i was telling her how much i liked a guy rom there who was a model, like... a celebrity and when i got home, she texted me that he followed her and they texted. And with screenshots. And in that concert we were like...2000 people? Like what are the chances?
So, after some time, I decided to make a chance and dyed my hair blonde. Guess what happened some weeks later. A, dyed her hair blonde. She went from black hair, straight to blonde. And then...one night, i went to this club with A, B and another friend of mine, and i had wear some nice clothes and the bartender was flirting with me and she got so furious that she started coughing and pretending to be drunk even though she had not drank anything. And she was telling me to put on some clothes. So, the last time i went out with her, after this night, was one day after i was on a date with a guy that i met the day before, when i was out with a friend. Guess what happened...we are like...3.000.000 people in the city i live. And from all those people, we saw that guy and he grabbed her by the waist and stuck her body upon his body and told her " Wow, carefull people are passing by and they will touch you". Can i add that i was at the same spot she was standing? . And ofc i blocked the guy but she also, was so happy that this happened, that she could not stop smiling and talking about what he did and that " Ah okay, he is not so tall though" etc. And i stopped going out with her, and she kept asking me what happened and why i do not talk to her anymore, like she does not know. And guess what happened after...
B also dyed her hair blonde from a brunette and she texted me that we will be like twins.
Are those women kidding me? Like....And they are both older. The only woman i can trust is a friend of mine that is a lesbian. There is not friend that i had that did not flirt with a guy i liked or told him i liked him..
When i was in the 1st year in college, i was hanging out with some girls from the uni. They were all, also older and had boyfriends. And i liked a guy from my class who was considered ugly and when i told them they were like " Ew". Guess what happened. Not only they told him in front of me that i liked him and he stopped talking to me, they also had make a bet to flirt with him in front of me in order to see me cry and they wanted to kick my ass too. Fortunately a girl from a chat room they had on facebook, told me about it and saw me their messages. And one of them was like...my best friend at the time and i talked to her about stuff very personal. When people at the class asked me why i stopped talking to her, i showed them their messages and those people said that I, I was the bad once because i went and blocked them on facebook after i saw the messages. I was the bad one? And that this did not count cause they are nice people. No. They were only pretty, and they had pretty privilege.
Its a shame, bc i want to have real friendships but i cant. Not when everything i do for example, to flirt with a guy is forbidden because other women mess things up for me. And all of them. ALL OF THEM. They had boyfriends. Like come on!!!
Oh my GOD!!! They were insecure. Oomph am glad you cut them off cause you deserve better girl!!! The same happened to me but with friends so I was like I rather just go solo. Thank you for sharing ✨ Sending lots of 💕 Hopefully we find better friends out there who are actually care and are nice😊
@@myshowerthoughts_ yeah, i really liked your video, you should make more and you deserve more subscribers
Thank you so much🫶🏾💕