**Check out my new Digital Travel Guide for Salerno** A 46 page Guide with everything you need to know for your trip to Salerno! msbritaly.com/travel-guides
Really well presented :) I’d like to share my experience- I moved here aged 21, coming from a much different place, India. So many cultural shocks, most of them positive. Focused on learning the language and cleared the B2 exam, in order to be able to have a chance to do a bachelor’s again in Italy and create my life from scratch. Due to bureaucratic hurdles I couldn’t go ahead and decided to stay still, wait for the pandemic to pass and do what was realistic. Two of the darkest years yet I found strength looking within. Being a poor, third world citizen, ‘bad communicator’ and crippled by bureaucracy and covid, life during covid was terrible. Change began after I started teaching, and volunteering, spent all my days and nights trying to find ways to get on my feet, learnt IT related stuff online and 3 years after landing in this amazing country, got my first proper job. A part of me had always felt like it belonged here, and a part of me tells I’ll never be able to assimilate in the society, have a circle of friends and a partner. Anyways I ignore both these voices and live like a 70 year old who’s happy to work, teach and meditate. :) a looong comment, but my point is this: we must allow ourselves to experience. Keep sharing - there are so many people like you out there who do not express themselves at all. Thanks for the video
Good luck buddy! Remember many of us have a hard time find a job we like and that is not just people from third world countries. But yes immigrants usually struggle more or longer so congrats for finding your way.
Young lady........Long time ago I lived in Italy for a brief period of time, and after that I moved to Nederland, then to Germany, then to Austria and finally to Australia. During that time, I used to travel a lot, around Europe, North Africa and Middle East. I have to tell you that everything you've said, most definitely, easily, for sure, 100%,.......... can apply to every country, to every nation, to every state within the nation,....... even to every suburb within the city limits, (let's forget nationality conflicts within some countries, and I am not willing to talk about racial issues present in every part of this planet). After all those years, between all countries I travelled through, I have to admit, I miss Italy, the most. I am unable to say why, but for sure, even being absolutely alone in Trieste in those times I remember how much I enjoyed Italian temperament, food, wine, coffee...........made me feel so.......somehow comfortable. I am going (at the end) to give you advice based on my life experience. I WOULD RATHER BE ALONE BY MYSELF............. THAN .............ALONE WITH SOMEONE CLOSE BY (if that makes sense). Self-sufficiency made me stronger.
@@louisetaylor6952 Yes I did, many times but never lived overthere after that. Every time I go to Europe I just cannot miss Pescara, Vicenza, Tarvisio (not Treviso but Tarvisio), Gorizzia, Modena,Padova and of course Trieste. Unfotunately last time visited Italy was 6 years ago
@@alexs3119I couldn’t agree more! I lived in Bella Napoli off & on for @10 yrs working for the government & NATO. Never wanted to leave but circumstances forced me to. Previously I also worked up in the North while on active duty for NATO in Vicenza so I also know that area very well - Padova, Trieste, Balsano di Grappa, Morastica, Camisano, etc… those were some amazing times back just before the Euro took over & we still paid in Lira. Everything was 1/3 - 1/2 of what it is now and the dollar was strong. Italy taught me to “Work to Live not Live to Work!” 😊 🇮🇹 ❤ 🇮🇹
Well-said. I lived in Italy for nearly 4 years. A very concise review of many challenges. After returning home to the USA for a year, I have found the quality of life superior in Italy. There are always compromises and trade-offs in life. Each person needs to consider what is best for their happiness and safety. Thank you for your excellent insights.
I am in my 50's and have travelled the world extensively in my childhood ,youth and in my 40's. I actually found Italy to be one of the most warm country. We were taken in like family. Greece was so amazing also. Even Oman in Saudi. Borneo too. I found in the UK, the British were the most cold, ignorant and rude. I'm from Australia and i had some Brits ask if i had a pet Kangaroo and did i eat grubs. (i have blonde hair and far from an indigenous look.) I felt Italy is magical away from the big cities into the small country towns. You will be embraced like family and fed like a queen. We only knew a few words of Italian but they all spoke English to us. It's such a personal experience for each person. Imperfectly PERFECT. x
These things can apply to any country. The best friendships I have made were with locals who lived abroad for some time and returned back to their home country. They have different perspective on things.
It's true that Italy is very complicated to adapt to as a foreigner. What's important is to want to speak the language. If you succede, then the rest comes on it's own. It will come to the point where you'll be able to put order in all the confusion that exists in our way of being Italians. When that day comes, you'll never leave.
Yes, the long term visitor needs to speak the language. Take classes. Do what it takes everyday. This was an important key for all the people I’ve met who successfully moved to a different country.
Beautiful video and speech. As an Italian living in UK I can say I am going through similar difficulties and I don't regret my choice. I am understanding a lot about myself and about how we Italians are. Sometimes you have to step outside your world to look at the things from different perspectives. Buona fortuna 👍
As an italian born Australian , this is THE most honest account of life in and with Italians. But also in other countries, as the son of immigrants I grew up seeing , hearing and being discriminated against in a new land, but day by day and year by year respect through hard work and achievement was earned. Italy has its issues like most countries and people but my personally, I wake up every morning and that god I’m healthy and can visit Italy and my family.
I was in tears listening to this. I live in Sicily, and feel so alone. I struggle with the language due to a disability I have. That paired with a rocky relationship and two children growing up the Italian way, it’s the hardest challenge I’ve ever faced,
But it will also be the greatest expansion you will ever experience. I always believe in our toughest moments, we grow the most. Living in Italy is a challenge but it is also the best teacher we could ever have. Hugs to you - it's not easy but keep looking for the blessings.
Why tf did you go south, and to Sicily of all places? Are you an Aussie btw? The best of Italy is in the north. Better educated, better food & a better climate. In Oz, they seem to have a love affair with Southern Italy. North Italians stick to the North. It's a different culture & life style. I wouldn't go south if they paid me. Very nasty ppl. I guess you just didn't know. I also want to add, the most unfriendliest ppl to live among are def the Aussies. They just don't talk to anyone else, only their own ppl. They are not welcoming & outsiders will be totally friendless and alone for their whole lives. This has devastating effects. If you want friendly ppl, then you go to Asia.
Nice video. I have lived in Italy for over 20 years in the north. You hit the nail on the head. Italy is not for everyone but for those that find a way it is something special. You will never be accepted as a foreigner but it doesn't really matter. I decided to do my own thing and not seek 'friends' now I have been accepted. It can be a love_hate thing but at the end of the day it's an amazing country.
It’s interesting that you say this about Italy and not needing friends. I’m Irish and I live in the U.K. I have an English accent now is but I do not fit in here. Even though I look the same, I don’t think the same. I’ve reached a point in my 40s where I’m happy to not bother trying to make friends. I think this will mean I’ll feel the same way when I move to Italy as I feel in the U.K. AN outsider. My hubby of 15 years is Italian and I am just as hot headed, rash, outspoken, direct and obstinate as the Italians. So I’ll prob fit right into Liguria without trying lol. Not that I need to. I’m not offended by that kind of behaviour, but I am considered offensive to the British. Lol. As is my big wild Irish Catholic family. 😂
Wow, I have the exact same feeling living in Ireland. Being a Brazilian foreigner living here for the past 4 years, up to now I could never really connect with anybody nor make any real friend. The language barrier is real and very often i feel like a child in an adult conversation.
I'm Irish living in Galway, and I myself have gotten sick of the Irish people and their attitudes.. Miserable people, so stuck in their own bubble that they don't really care for meeting new people or trying new things... Only thing to do with friends is go to the pub or go to someone's house for drinks or smokes.
I was 5 weeks in Palermo for holiday and I realized it's soo beautiful, but you NEED the language! Without it it doesn't make sense to move to another place. Language is soooo important to integrate. Also the Italians love it when you put some work in it and speak with them. They are really friendly and open! Your friendships would improve too. And now I learn every day 2-4 hours via the Apps Busuu, Duolingo, second hand books and UA-cam and films. After 37 days i can understand most of what is said in movies and its just so much fun to learn about their hilarious Humor and style of thinking. Also if you put the work in it it will go so fast!
@@MsBritaly PS I like your channel a lot :) I'm planning to move to italy too next year (coming from Germany). But I'm not sure where exactly to go, can you maybe make a review of the pros and cons of the city's you already visited?:) And what is your opinion about Sardegna?
@@MsBritaly also I'd like to know how the Italian men are in your experience after 5 years. Because I got really shocked what I saw in Palermo. They are really polyamouros and I compared it after 5 weeks to Soddom and Gomorrah. My ex from there was also a first grade narcissist / Gigolo 🤣 I hope there are good men there too! 🤣
I can relate in some ways but also know a lot of what I attracted back in the day was a reflection of my own inner wounds. Italy is Amazing & yet, just like everywhere else, has its superficial side. The more Aware you are of YourSelf, the easier You will be able to Assess & Discern the world around You! Italians don’t just show you how they are but they reveal You to YourSelf! I’ve seen all the levels & maintained beautiful friends around the world. I have Italian friends who have always been there for me when I needed them & there are those I hold in the regard they have shown themselves to me. No different than other places but honestly, in some ways, I felt more alive living in Italy 🇮🇹 than I have back in the US. I’ll be back soon enough. Thank You for sharing Your Raw Self & what you’re traversing in your life!
Beautifully said , I am Italian , from an Italian mother and South African father. I was born and grew up in Rome, but live in SA, and I can relate to what you say . Good luck , if you need help with your Italian I’ll be happy to help 😊
Attitude and your expectations are everything. After 18 years living in Mexico and 2 in Germany, I can say it is the same everywhere. It is Always harder out of your comfort zone and the ability to communicate makes a huge difference in your experience. Living abroad is not for everyone.
I've been coming to Italy since I was a little boy. I do have many friends and some from childhood. But I understand how you feel about having friends. It is not easy. One negative I have found living in Italy is a sense of community. For me there is no sense of community. Sometimes I miss that. But I do think you need to learn Italian. You will experience a whole different world especially if you live in the south. It is a very beautiful language- so expressive. And if you begin studying the different dialects of the south, the language becomes even more expressive and can be very funny too. In any event I wish you luck! I am probably here for the next 5-7 years. My goal is to live in all the regions of Italy.
Everything you say about friendships, family and not being fluent in Italian making you feel like a child - I have experienced myself. I am married to an Italian but live in London. I hope you are feeling better and that you find deep meaningful friendships.
Ty for this video. For almost 2 decades I believed that I had oh so close but missed out on my lifelong dream to move to and live permanently in France. This was When I was resident in the UK. Now I’m old I happened to read a book on someone who did just that. It was Petit Anglaise by Catherine Sanderson. Like your video it broke open the harsh reality. And reading it I was able to experience what my life as a young mother with rudimentary French in France would probably have been like. Miserable, lonely and not the dream I convinced myself of at all. Possible a highrisk for mental health issues too. I was struggling as it was in the UK to make meaningful friendships and I am a fluent English speaker. No, your video is so important, unfortunately. If only to seperate illusion from practical living. Surviving and thriving in the lonely planet called Elsewhere.
Thank you so much. Of course I recognize that no two people will have the same experience but it is important to share the reality. Even with a knowledge of the language - it doesn’t always mean that you will have an easy experience
This was pretty damn enlightening. I realized a few years back that uprooting yourself from the familiar is daunting, if not downright scary. I definitely give credit to you for establishing yourself in a new environment. I wish you the best and maybe, I’ll move abroad myself.
Definitely well narrated, but it was the exposure of the raw truth without extinguishing the imperfect yet perfect dream that kept me hooked to this video and subsequently subscribing. I too married to South African/ Italian fell inlove with the culture , the food, the people. So much so that I too wanted to move to Italy and start a new life. But those harsh realities against the backdrop of this dream has kept me guarded and level headed. I will continue to plan, explore and mitigate as I continue toward the dream of moving to Italy.
Definitely, all of the above. I lived there for 6 years and will return soon. Despite all of the negativity, It was a little better to deal with the brutal honesty of the negative than the covert negativity of the US.
Wow!! How refreshing to hear some truth. You answered many of my questions regarding southern Italy with honesty and vulnerability. As a Portugal resident from the States, I have found that "the people" of your adopted country can make or break your desire to learn and meld into the culture. Thank you for sharing your boots-on-the-ground experience.
Desire isn’t enough. It takes discipline. This world we live in will show you there are 2 types of people. Ones who are distracted and those who are disciplined and stay focused. You can become that other person at any point. Figure out what makes you stick to things. Curiosity is sometimes a gift sometimes a curse. Make a commitment to yourself that you will learn something and study it hard and diligently. Also you can always deepen your relationship with people and you can always choose gratitude of it all. Experience
Interesting. I'm Brazilian, and my family is half greek. I've been living in the UK for the last 10 years. 10 years, and yet, I can confidently say that the first friends I've made during this time are Italians. The culture makes so much of a difference than people realise before migrating to another country, it's incredible. I think my background just makes it much easier to "mesh" with italians, greeks, spaniards and portuguese. I've been to Italy a few times, and although they weren't long stays, I felt so much more at home, something that I didn't know I missed and longed for so long here in the UK.
I'm italian (from south). You lady, created a geat video, illustrating all the contraddictions and giving perfectly the idea about what living in Italy really Is.
Do you like reading? Reading an Italian book on a topic you are interested in or an Italian translation of a book you love in English (even poetry, magazines, the newspaper, or coffee table books), listening to music and writing the lyrics then singing it, and journaling in Italian can help synthesize the language so that you learn it like your learned English naturally as a child. Just look up the words you don’t understand and your brain will learn them. This has been my language hack throughout my life & has brought me joy. Maybe it can be useful for you? Your video is lovely. Well wishes from the USA 🌸
I really enjoyed your heartfelt perspective. Life is a journey and your "perfectly imperfect" view is right on!! We go to Sicily often and have property there, with a desire to retire there at half of the year. I study my Italian every day and I have learned that as long as you embrace and try when you are there, they will reciprocate! Thanks for sharing!!
I love this video so so much. Some of the things you said were word for word, things that I have been thinking for the last five years. Thank you for the wonderful video!
Great video. You kept it real about living in Italy. I currently live here with my family 2 1/2 years and 3 more to go. We live in Naples and have a big groups of friends here and locals. I should be doing the same putting out videos about living here. We’ve been blessed to travel over 14 countries out here I need to spread the knowledge.
I'm retiring in the next few years and wanted to move to Italy when winters in London get bad and summer's back to London, but your video has made me think very hard on my plans
Whilst I think it is essential for you to have your eyes opened about the realities of living in Italy vs the perceived fairy tale, it is important to note that one person’s experiences do not have to be your own. My experiences overall, have been a lot more positive than other expats who have moved here, for example. I want this video to provide an honest reflection and help people to understand that Italy in itself isn’t perfect but it doesn’t mean it can’t be the perfect place for you to spend time.
Well said! Experiencing Italy through travel and actually living there are two totally different experiences. Even having Italian origins but lived and raised in South Africa, moving and living back to Italy was difficult on many levels
You explained your feelings SO well! It is how I felt living in Mexico for 9 years. Thank you for sharing. Most will not understand until they live it. I appreciate your understanding.
This sounds like it is coming from a spoiled person expecting more than any country vacant provide. This is nothing like what I have experienced in many months of traveling to Italy.
Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. I'm not sure you understand the nature of this video or my channel but I will say that no two people's experiences are ever the same.
I don't know Sorrento, I only spent a week there at the InterContinental hotel... But I spent 5 years in Sicily and I made a lot of friends (acquaintances?), I'm still in contact with most of them now that I live in France. How did I do that? I simply invited them to come for a drink and a barbecue on the terrace of my house. At least twice a week they would bring something to eat or drink and eventually a friend... They met all kinds of new people and everyone had a great time. There was always people in this big house, locals, old friends who came to enjoy the Mediterranean sea and food, family members on vacation with the kids or even couch surfers. I have traveled a lot in my life, since I was a child. So I know how hard it can be to make a really good friend later in life. But this is not specific to Italy. Chance is a huge factor, but you also have to be in the right frame of mind and get involved in social activities.
@@MsBritaly "it also helps to live in an area where there is the opportunity to meet people and have these social connections." Europe is full of those areas and most of its people aren't scared of strangers. Imagine trying that in the USA where everyone is always in its car and people buy guns to protect themselves against you... One of those new friends was on it's sailboat when I started talking to him. There was an ex Miss Italy, a French teacher, a noble with an incredible house, a Czechoslovakian scientist, my AC installer (who's brother traveled with me to my Paris apartment for a week to visit the city), a singer, a postman... In most parts of Europe, you can meet all kind of people just by talking to them and inviting them. In the USA, people will easily come talk to you but if you invite them they'll think you are trying to get something from them (money or green-card) or that you are in some shady business (a human trafficking ring like in those movies in Europe...) :D
Been here since 8 months and I find it extremely difficult, I don't know if it's just me, but oftentimes it feels like people are downright hostile. I came here to be with my boyfriend, but I'm seriously considering going back home again. (Not that it matters, but I have lived in 3 different countries before going to Italy, so I know the struggles of being a foreigner, but Italy definitely is the hardest of all of them). Sorry for ranting 😅
Don’t apologize! It’s not easy hence the fact I started this channel to try to cope with life living abroad. I do want to say though piano piano - give it time. Italy is a particular country where your experience can vary wildly from North to South - I don’t know where in Italy you are at the moment but it’s always comforting to know that it’s not the same everywhere.
@@MsBritaly Thanks. I'm in the north, but I always hear that the Northerners look down on the South and that the South is kinda treated like a whole different country. To me though, even the North sometimes resembles what I would imagine a 3rd world country to be like. Things take sooooo much time, from administrative things, to handymen etc. where you would normally make one appointment and be done, here you need 5-8 appointments. 🙃 You are right, it is a very peculiar country, but it does have its charming sides to it too. I just hope I can see enough positive sides to be able to stay 😅
Stick with it. I don’t think Italy is for everyone for all of the above reasons but if you scratch beneath the surface, you’ll find something very special about this place
My sister years ago fell in love with Italy , when we went to visit family .My sister met an Italian man moved to Italy married him, my sister's husband was a real smooth talker . My sister's husband beat her , I know that could anywhere , but when she called the police , they would not help her , because she was an American . My sister was born and raised in Canada .
Unforgettable video, thank you for your honesty. Especially about jobs, its good to know what to look out for. I have experieneced nearly all of this in the US. I went to a catholic school, nearly everyone italian and it was just as you describe. So I hypothesize it all starts at home this italian-only mentality, family-family mentality, no individuality. You are either in or your out. Despite all that I am looking to move and still considering Italy. Just not expecting a fairytale at all.
Really nice thoughts and it feels like coming from your soul. I appreciate your honesty. I have similar experiences living in Greece. But I learned Greek language and it made all the difference. After I became fluent I became closer to be “one of them”.
I am an Italian living in England and I understand what you saying especially the struggle with the language! I have found myself in UK but I am glad that you find your place there! ❤️
I think just like it is for foreigners here in the US, it’s a drastically different culture and language and it’s not until you embrace those differences entirely that you can make meaningful connections. It’s human to be untrusting of something new, untrusting of a foreigner trying to impart something foreign onto the culture and change it in some way. This is why many kind Americans love learning about other cultures, but we don’t have much patience for someone living here and unwilling to make the effort to learn our more commonly spoken language, English. We love learning about their culture but we don’t necessarily want to be slandered here for what an outsider doesn’t understand of our culture. In other words, No matter where you go, you must embrace the new and respect differences and remain optimistic. If you’re going to live in a country that speaks a different language from you, you need to make it a priority to learn that language. Period the end. Much like if you’re in a relationship with a foreigner, you must make it a priority to learn their language out of respect to them and just to be able to carry on conversations respectfully with your in-laws. Not to mention learning how to culturally address people respectfully in their language that a whole other part of learning the language.
I speak fluent Italian and come from Italian heritage. Culture shock! I tried to reconnect with my Italian roots and it was a huge let down! I think you are very accurate in your observations!
This is what it feels when you uproot to a foreign country. I have the same experience moving to Australia, Italy and London. For you it just happens to be Salerno.
Finding peace and comfort in where you are without expectations may expand gratitude but I deeply appreciate your perspective and insight. I wish you comfort and peace and hoping also that you can be kind and gentle with yourself. Our interactions and connections come in so many ways especially now with so many of us with family and friends all over the globe which can leave a longing stuck in our bellies. Moments to count each day upon positive interactions with people matter more than we realize. I enjoy southern Italy and perhaps I can enjoy extended trips Vs full time. Thank you for your service as an educator and best from California!
Very good video. Very interesting, real experiences. That is obvious. Especially interesting what you said about friendship in Italy. I think true friends are very difficult to find, and not only in Italy but everywhere in the world. The term friendship is often given too easily to people these days everywhere. True friends support you in your difficult and easy moments, and accept you for who you really are.
I am also international student living in Salerno from 2 years and I am totally agreed with your opinion. First of all I was much good and interested in speaking Italian but now I have not any more interest to learn more having experience that it would not have any better impact to make good connections with Italian community.
@@MsBritaly How someone can be isolated or being not able to speak if he is living in Italy specially Salerno😄. I survived two years because i learned it before coming to Italy otherwise it could be a problem as no one can speak or want to speak a single sentence of English. This thing can be tolerate or negotiate because its south of Italy but there is a social gap even finding residence I didn't get response because many of the people don't give place to straniero(foreigners). Even many of the basic facilities are not or well defined.
It is a different way of life and I have heard other people share similar experiences when it comes to finding accommodation. I will say though that to rent somewhere in Italy is always a risk for the owner because the rules here in Italy to evict tenants are lengthy and complicated.
I can resonate with every single part of this having lived in ABRUZZO now 6 years and set up business here which is very different from that of the UK it’s definitely had its challenges both personally and in work. It is for sure PERFECTLY IMPERFECT. Thanks for sharing the truths 😊
Wow bless you. This has really touched my soul! I'm moving to Italy on the 9th short notice. I'm learning Italian as we speak. I couldn't imagine what it must be like not even being able to communicate ❤️
The most important thing you can do is not only learn the language but also the cultural competencies - television, cinema, music, politics and of course our strange traditions etc.. Language is so undervalued and will hold you back and not be able to connect with people who are probably more like you.
Hello Claire, I've just come across your video. I can totally understand your account of your experiences here in Italy. I moved from Kent (UK) to the province of Salerno over 40 years ago. Everything you say here is true. It's still difficult to fit in sometimes, even after all these years. However, I wouldn't live anywhere else! Living in a small town, I actually love the less complicated way of life. England has changed too much over the years..... I don't want to say anything too negative about it. It's just not for me any more. So, dear MsBritaly (love the name btw!), persevere. You're here for a reason. You'll love Italy with all your heart one day ❤
There are always tradeoffs no doubt. I appreciate the honesty in your experiences related to living in Italy as a foreigner. I've come to terms that as a Canadian born to Italian parents, I can have a far more fulfilling life overall in Italy. My parents are from 2 hours south of Rome and Calabria. Being fluent in dialect and proper Italian, I'm aware of the difficulty of not being able to speak the language. I'm drawn to a simpler life, better weather, lower cost of real estate (depending where you choose to live), and the prospect of being part of a community in a smaller town. There are good a bad people everywhere but for myself it's an easy choice. It's far better than life in Canada.
Very authentic video. I love how you speak of the good and the bad in a heartfelt way. Im trying to get my Italian citizenship and Im married to a Tuscan woman. Id love to move to Italy someday if possible. Cheers from the US
Very well done and thanks so much for your honesty! I lived in France for a while last year and experienced much of the same. I'm considering living in Italy next, and it helps to get a realistic perspective.
Being here the last 2 years. I still don't speak or understand italian well, so I understand much of what you say. I live in Terrasinisi. We should meet for lunch sometime. Would love to compare notes. 😊
I appreciated the honest point of view, It is very easy to dream about Italy when is portraited like a dream come true in social media. However as an immigrant myself I can see how things have turned complicated for her. No.1 Moving to another country and not learning the language is not only putting yourself in a very difficult position, but after a while living in a country and having expectations such as friendships and romantic relationship with Italians, you absolutely NEED to speak the language. Learning a language opens a whole new world, reading the news, watching italian shows, it helps to understand better their culture. On the other hand it shows commitment and RESPECT for the country and new culture that you are embracing. Moving to a foreigner country and not learning the language is very common among English speakers.
I decided to retire here and while it's beautiful everything you say is 100% correct. Beautiful yes, inexpensive yes, but I have never been more unhappy. It's time for people to tell the truth . Living here is a completely different story and it's nothing like what they show you on social media. The videos of breathtaking views and eating pizza is true but what they show you is the vacation version of Italy. Living here especially in the south is dysfunctional and if you do not have family and are alone it's even worse. I never imagined it would be this bad and I speak the language and was born here but unless you grow up here it's very hard.
I always say it is so important to share a balanced, realistic view of life here for this reason. It isn't easy to live here. We want to believe that life in Italy is this romantic image we have of it but it is just like any other country in the world - it has its difficulties.
Well said, I could relate to your perspective and appreciate the realism of just how we’re wired as humans, British, Italian, American etc. I’m 73, and met my Italian relatives in northern Italy, super sweet folks, but my attraction is to the southern part of the country. I’ll be staying in the south for a month, to see if I want to move there and am grateful for all the posts I’m viewing, to prep for my trip. Thank you❤️
3:05 I’ve travelled around Italy many times by myself. One thing I found about Italians is they keep to themselves and their little peer group. They have an attitude of they’ll leave you alone if you leave them alone. I cant think of any instance where an Italian as came upto me in a bar or cafe to make genuinely friendly conversation. Only the barman to sell me something. The friends I’ve made on my travels have been other European tourists.
I am not trying to be mean, but if in 5 years you didn't really learn the language, that is 100% on you, and you really are not in a position to evaluate life in Italy. That doesn't mean I am saying many of your observations and experiences are not valid, but without learning the language, did you even really move to Italy? Or was it more of an extended vacation? Learning a language is crucial to being able to assimilate, and not assimilating will definitely lead to loneliness.
@@MsBritaly Well, I hope you take the time and effort to become fluent so you can improve your situation. My wife and I talk about going to Italy, but learning languages is not her strong suit, so I worry for her because in Italy, if you don't speak Italian, you are not going to like living there. And this is more true the further south or more "rural" you go. I wish you the best.
@@mvp019 Thank you - I am indeed studying and learning. The growth you gain from living in another country expands beyond language and I hope you get to experience life here and follow your dreams of living here.
Ciao, è stato molto bello poter sentire le problematiche di una inglese in Italia. Tutto quello che dici, parola per parola, l'ho vissuto a Londra e non capivo una mazza di Cockney. Ora però ti dico due cose: primo, che anche per un italiano spesso è complicato vivere in Italia, e per quanto riguarda gli stranieri, hanno in testa un'Italia immaginata e di fantasia, un pò come se uno volesse conoscere Londra guardando i film di James Bond o la serie TV sui royals. Inoltre, la grande differenza tra i nostri due popoli è che voi siete stati abituati ad andare all'estero da padroni che hanno imposto la lingua inglese, mentre noi da fine 800 a oggi siamo emigrati in giro per il mondo, siamo al secondo posto dopo i cinesi, e ci siamo dovuti sempre adeguare, imparare la lingua obbligatoriamente, e subire spesso il razzismo. Eppure dovunque gli italiani siano andati hanno dato un contributo a quei paesi. Gli inglesi espatriano nelle loro ex colonie. Ciò detto, io ho visto persone obbligate a emigrare perché qui non c'era lavoro e pur con tutti i problemi del caso, li ho visti molto ben inseriti. Se non hai una reale necessità è meglio non emigrare, ci si trova meglio tra la propria gente. Mi sono trovato molto bene invece con i veri inglesi fuori Londra, persone veramente gentili anche se con una mentalità tutta loro.
Thank you for such an honest and heartfelt video. I have lived in many...well...some other different countries over the years and your feelings and observations really spoke to me. I found myself half listening to your words and half replaying moments in my life and experiences that they stirred up. The feelings of isolation are what drove me to learn Spanish well, I dislike not being able to express myself and make connections. While that is part of the rush and wonder of travelling sometimes, being the little fish in someone else's big pond, it is not helpful when you want to put down some roots in a place and make meaningful connections. I have been looking at living in Italy for a time, my great grandparents were from a small town outside of Salerno so I really appreciate your insights. I have been slowly trying to learn Italian, or at least have a decent base when I arrive. The Spanish makes it easier but also more confusing. Though from my travels I should know better, your video made me realize that I am indeed constructing some probably unrealistic fantasies in my mind. So thank you for pulling my feet back down to earth and again, thank you for your honesty. I wish I was as articulate as you are. Rocco
La tua storia è bellissima! Il video è stato molto piacevole da guardare e riflettere. Your story is beautiful! The video was very enjoyable to watch and reflect on❤️
It's very simplistic to divide Italy in to north and south, and also very Anglo Saxon. In Italy there are dozen of different local situations, and pratically every city has its own cultural background of many centuries which influences every day life and way of life. Even at mealtimes, when going to work, in relationship with politic and religion.
Yes it is and intentionally so. Italy is very multifaceted and it can be difficult sometimes to truly convey what that can be like in a video. That said, I have touched on this topic in more recent videos.
Your ideology resonates with me -most people are shallow-I’ve lived in the same place for decades and the exact people exist in my life-I’ve never found my tribe1-it must be intensified living there -I live in Hawaii and is the same insular,corrupt situation,despite the overwhelming natural beauty -i appreciate the straightforwardness of Italians-the food,the wine -I travel thee annually -
Love your voice…. I’m retiring early to Italy. It’s all up to you on how much you gain out of any culture or with your friends.. make the effort. Good luck girl..
Wow, I appreciate your perspective. I have moved a lot in my life so i can somewhat feel your pain and hardship. Although, i did grow up bilingual so i can’t even imagine how much harder for you it was. This makes me want to appreciate my foreign friends a lot more
your experiences of living an "x pat" life are interesting and your description insightful. Thanks for putting the time into producing this. Wish you God's speed in your new country.
Moving to a country and living there for four years without learning the language and then complaining you feel isolated and restricted by being unable to communicate feels like potentially the most entitled and naive understanding of how the world works that I've heard from an adult. I've lived in three separate countries in the last 10 years, sure making friends as an expat is hard, but I think the unrealistic fantasy here is expecting the world to cater to you rather than putting in the required work to assimilate into the place you've chosen to call home.
I would respond but I think there is no point. If you really understood this video or my channel, then you would know. Thanks for taking the time to comment though!
I agree with you totally. Firstly you need to open the communication channel to learn and master the language to assimilate into the Italian society. Here in America, I have seen Mexicans move here, never master the language, proudly hang their Mexican flags and say “Soy Mexicano!”. I think to myself, why in the world did you move here? My suggestion for anyone to successfully assimilate into a society is to first learn and if possible learn and continue to master the language. Secondly join groups of interest, fitness, faith, fun, professional, where able. And with the mastery of language may come the hope of love, which would require an enormous amount of communication. I believe one would this as a start to hope to assimilate into any society.
An overall good assessment of what a foreigner could expect from living in Italy but I was taken aback that you lived there 4 years and did not learn the language. I respect your honesty about the why, but no wonder you found it difficult as you would in any other country. I find the title then, a bit misleading..
Thank you for your comment. Language is fundamental but it isn’t a magic wand that makes all the other experiences mentioned in this video, disappear. I can speak for people who I l know who speak the language yet still have difficulties here and you only have to look through the comments on this video too. Therefore the video title is accurate for its content. It would be more misleading to say learn Italian and you’ll have a perfect life.
Well explained, and many listener can share your experience. ( Hence, they are watching your video.) After my immigration, into a country I didn’t speak the language first. Life and connections started after getting involved with people beyond the job (hobbies and volunteering). Now, thinking of spending some extensive time in another country, Italy. I guess I do have to accept to start again, a new language, social engagement...Thanks for your video, to provide reality to the fairy dream.
Thank You for your thoughts observations and nicely put together show much appreciated much love to you ,best wishes and good luck many thanks x 10000000
Very nicely scripted and i totally agree with everything 👍I'm an expat myself for 13 years in the UK and how you described about Italy I can say very similarly about the UK. It was very hard at the beginning but years go by and you fall in love with the country and people..
Please DO MORE OF THESE break down each thing...friendships, language learning etc...But yes I do think your reluctance in learning Italian is the reason...what is UNDERNEATH THAT???
I think being there alone would be hard. Probably if you had a partner it would have been much more easy. I have heard many wonderful stories about people moving to southern Italy from California and people embrace them. So I guess it is always our energy that attracts most things in our life.
Of course everyone has different experiences. I too believe in the power of our energy and how it can influence our life - I credit all of the things that I have been able to achieve here for that. I also have a partner here. I always paint a realistic picture of how life can be here in the South. There are lots of factors that can influence an experience - including location and the ability to communicate.
I know Americans here who are made to feel very welcome. There will always be the isolated few who treat others badly but it’s not a general quality - thankfully
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Really well presented :) I’d like to share my experience- I moved here aged 21, coming from a much different place, India. So many cultural shocks, most of them positive. Focused on learning the language and cleared the B2 exam, in order to be able to have a chance to do a bachelor’s again in Italy and create my life from scratch. Due to bureaucratic hurdles I couldn’t go ahead and decided to stay still, wait for the pandemic to pass and do what was realistic. Two of the darkest years yet I found strength looking within. Being a poor, third world citizen, ‘bad communicator’ and crippled by bureaucracy and covid, life during covid was terrible. Change began after I started teaching, and volunteering, spent all my days and nights trying to find ways to get on my feet, learnt IT related stuff online and 3 years after landing in this amazing country, got my first proper job. A part of me had always felt like it belonged here, and a part of me tells I’ll never be able to assimilate in the society, have a circle of friends and a partner. Anyways I ignore both these voices and live like a 70 year old who’s happy to work, teach and meditate. :) a looong comment, but my point is this: we must allow ourselves to experience. Keep sharing - there are so many people like you out there who do not express themselves at all. Thanks for the video
Good for you! You should be incredibly proud of yourself.
I just really needed to see this. I hope you'll continue to do well ❤❤❤
@@MzVixen05 thank you!
Good luck buddy! Remember many of us have a hard time find a job we like and that is not just people from third world countries. But yes immigrants usually struggle more or longer so congrats for finding your way.
Good luck young man
Young lady........Long time ago I lived in Italy for a brief period of time, and after that I moved to Nederland, then to Germany, then to Austria and finally to Australia. During that time, I used to travel a lot, around Europe, North Africa and Middle East. I have to tell you that everything you've said, most definitely, easily, for sure, 100%,.......... can apply to every country, to every nation, to every state within the nation,....... even to every suburb within the city limits, (let's forget nationality conflicts within some countries, and I am not willing to talk about racial issues present in every part of this planet). After all those years, between all countries I travelled through, I have to admit, I miss Italy, the most. I am unable to say why, but for sure, even being absolutely alone in Trieste in those times I remember how much I enjoyed Italian temperament, food, wine, coffee...........made me feel so.......somehow comfortable. I am going (at the end) to give you advice based on my life experience. I WOULD RATHER BE ALONE BY MYSELF............. THAN .............ALONE WITH SOMEONE CLOSE BY (if that makes sense). Self-sufficiency made me stronger.
Wise words - thank you,
Did you ever go back to Italy?
@@louisetaylor6952 Yes I did, many times but never lived overthere after that. Every time I go to Europe I just cannot miss Pescara, Vicenza, Tarvisio (not Treviso but Tarvisio), Gorizzia, Modena,Padova and of course Trieste. Unfotunately last time visited Italy was 6 years ago
@@alexs3119I couldn’t agree more! I lived in Bella Napoli off & on for @10 yrs working for the government & NATO. Never wanted to leave but circumstances forced me to. Previously I also worked up in the North while on active duty for NATO in Vicenza so I also know that area very well - Padova, Trieste, Balsano di Grappa, Morastica, Camisano, etc… those were some amazing times back just before the Euro took over & we still paid in Lira. Everything was 1/3 - 1/2 of what it is now and the dollar was strong. Italy taught me to “Work to Live not Live to Work!” 😊 🇮🇹 ❤ 🇮🇹
Thank you for these words.
None of what you said about Italy is exclusive to Italy. These same things happen in every single country.
Yes it's very relatable to other countries
Well-said. I lived in Italy for nearly 4 years. A very concise review of many challenges. After returning home to the USA for a year, I have found the quality of life superior in Italy. There are always compromises and trade-offs in life. Each person needs to consider what is best for their happiness and safety. Thank you for your excellent insights.
Absolutely - thank you!
I am in my 50's and have travelled the world extensively in my childhood ,youth and in my 40's. I actually found Italy to be one of the most warm country. We were taken in like family. Greece was so amazing also. Even Oman in Saudi. Borneo too. I found in the UK, the British were the most cold, ignorant and rude. I'm from Australia and i had some Brits ask if i had a pet Kangaroo and did i eat grubs. (i have blonde hair and far from an indigenous look.) I felt Italy is magical away from the big cities into the small country towns. You will be embraced like family and fed like a queen. We only knew a few words of Italian but they all spoke English to us. It's such a personal experience for each person. Imperfectly PERFECT. x
You should have come to Scotland :D it's nothing like your description of the UK
We love living in Italy! We've got dual citizenship (USA/IT) - we're lucky. We left crazy and came to beautiful Italy.
Fabulous!
These things can apply to any country. The best friendships I have made were with locals who lived abroad for some time and returned back to their home country. They have different perspective on things.
Yes I agree - a lot of these experiences can be relatable wherever you may be in the world
It's true that Italy is very complicated to adapt to as a foreigner. What's important is to want to speak the language. If you succede, then the rest comes on it's own. It will come to the point where you'll be able to put order in all the confusion that exists in our way of being Italians. When that day comes, you'll never leave.
Yes and I believe it! Even now, I can see how much I have adapted and changed to the point where I feel settled here.
Good for you.👍
Yes, the long term visitor needs to speak the language. Take classes. Do what it takes everyday.
This was an important key for all the people I’ve met who successfully moved to a different country.
Beautiful video and speech. As an Italian living in UK I can say I am going through similar difficulties and I don't regret my choice. I am understanding a lot about myself and about how we Italians are. Sometimes you have to step outside your world to look at the things from different perspectives.
Buona fortuna 👍
As an italian born Australian , this is THE most honest account of life in and with Italians. But also in other countries, as the son of immigrants I grew up seeing , hearing and being discriminated against in a new land, but day by day and year by year respect through hard work and achievement was earned. Italy has its issues like most countries and people but my personally, I wake up every morning and that god I’m healthy and can visit Italy and my family.
Thank you for your words ❤️
I was in tears listening to this. I live in Sicily, and feel so alone. I struggle with the language due to a disability I have. That paired with a rocky relationship and two children growing up the Italian way, it’s the hardest challenge I’ve ever faced,
But it will also be the greatest expansion you will ever experience. I always believe in our toughest moments, we grow the most. Living in Italy is a challenge but it is also the best teacher we could ever have. Hugs to you - it's not easy but keep looking for the blessings.
I wish you all the best!
Why tf did you go south, and to Sicily of all places? Are you an Aussie btw? The best of Italy is in the north. Better educated, better food & a better climate. In Oz, they seem to have a love affair with Southern Italy. North Italians stick to the North. It's a different culture & life style. I wouldn't go south if they paid me. Very nasty ppl. I guess you just didn't know. I also want to add, the most unfriendliest ppl to live among are def the Aussies. They just don't talk to anyone else, only their own ppl. They are not welcoming & outsiders will be totally friendless and alone for their whole lives. This has devastating effects. If you want friendly ppl, then you go to Asia.
Nice video. I have lived in Italy for over 20 years in the north. You hit the nail on the head. Italy is not for everyone but for those that find a way it is something special. You will never be accepted as a foreigner but it doesn't really matter. I decided to do my own thing and not seek 'friends' now I have been accepted. It can be a love_hate thing but at the end of the day it's an amazing country.
Absolutely - well said.
It’s interesting that you say this about Italy and not needing friends. I’m Irish and I live in the U.K. I have an English accent now is but I do not fit in here. Even though I look the same, I don’t think the same. I’ve reached a point in my 40s where I’m happy to not bother trying to make friends. I think this will mean I’ll feel the same way when I move to Italy as I feel in the U.K. AN outsider. My hubby of 15 years is Italian and I am just as hot headed, rash, outspoken, direct and obstinate as the Italians. So I’ll prob fit right into Liguria without trying lol. Not that I need to. I’m not offended by that kind of behaviour, but I am considered offensive to the British. Lol. As is my big wild Irish Catholic family. 😂
Wow, I have the exact same feeling living in Ireland. Being a Brazilian foreigner living here for the past 4 years, up to now I could never really connect with anybody nor make any real friend. The language barrier is real and very often i feel like a child in an adult conversation.
It’s true and it’s so easy for people to form judgment around it without ever really knowing what it’s like
I'm Irish living in Galway, and I myself have gotten sick of the Irish people and their attitudes.. Miserable people, so stuck in their own bubble that they don't really care for meeting new people or trying new things... Only thing to do with friends is go to the pub or go to someone's house for drinks or smokes.
I was 5 weeks in Palermo for holiday and I realized it's soo beautiful, but you NEED the language! Without it it doesn't make sense to move to another place. Language is soooo important to integrate.
Also the Italians love it when you put some work in it and speak with them. They are really friendly and open!
Your friendships would improve too.
And now I learn every day 2-4 hours via the Apps Busuu, Duolingo, second hand books and UA-cam and films. After 37 days i can understand most of what is said in movies and its just so much fun to learn about their hilarious Humor and style of thinking. Also if you put the work in it it will go so fast!
Absolutely- language makes a huge difference
@@MsBritaly PS I like your channel a lot :)
I'm planning to move to italy too next year (coming from Germany). But I'm not sure where exactly to go, can you maybe make a review of the pros and cons of the city's you already visited?:)
And what is your opinion about Sardegna?
@@MsBritaly also I'd like to know how the Italian men are in your experience after 5 years. Because I got really shocked what I saw in Palermo. They are really polyamouros and I compared it after 5 weeks to Soddom and Gomorrah. My ex from there was also a first grade narcissist / Gigolo 🤣 I hope there are good men there too! 🤣
This is not just Italy this is just how it is. My dad experienced this in Sweden☹️
Yes I think many other countries are similar
I can relate in some ways but also know a lot of what I attracted back in the day was a reflection of my own inner wounds. Italy is Amazing & yet, just like everywhere else, has its superficial side. The more Aware you are of YourSelf, the easier You will be able to Assess & Discern the world around You!
Italians don’t just show you how they are but they reveal You to YourSelf!
I’ve seen all the levels & maintained beautiful friends around the world. I have Italian friends who have always been there for me when I needed them & there are those I hold in the regard they have shown themselves to me. No different than other places but honestly, in some ways, I felt more alive living in Italy 🇮🇹 than I have back in the US.
I’ll be back soon enough.
Thank You for sharing Your Raw Self & what you’re traversing in your life!
Thank you for your beautiful words
Beautifully said , I am Italian , from an Italian mother and South African father. I was born and grew up in Rome, but live in SA, and I can relate to what you say . Good luck , if you need help with your Italian I’ll be happy to help 😊
Thank you so much! That means a lot
Attitude and your expectations are everything. After 18 years living in Mexico and 2 in Germany, I can say it is the same everywhere. It is Always harder out of your comfort zone and the ability to communicate makes a huge difference in your experience. Living abroad is not for everyone.
Indeed - it’s a very personal experience
I've been coming to Italy since I was a little boy. I do have many friends and some from childhood. But I understand how you feel about having friends. It is not easy. One negative I have found living in Italy is a sense of community. For me there is no sense of community. Sometimes I miss that. But I do think you need to learn Italian. You will experience a whole different world especially if you live in the south. It is a very beautiful language- so expressive. And if you begin studying the different dialects of the south, the language becomes even more expressive and can be very funny too. In any event I wish you luck! I am probably here for the next 5-7 years. My goal is to live in all the regions of Italy.
Yes I agree - language opens many doors
Everything you say about friendships, family and not being fluent in Italian making you feel like a child - I have experienced myself. I am married to an Italian but live in London. I hope you are feeling better and that you find deep meaningful friendships.
Thank you so much. Yes it’s an aspect of life that’s sometimes given less consideration yet it’s vitally important.
Ty for this video. For almost 2 decades I believed that I had oh so close but missed out on my lifelong dream to move to and live permanently in France. This was When I was resident in the UK. Now I’m old I happened to read a book on someone who did just that. It was Petit Anglaise by Catherine Sanderson. Like your video it broke open the harsh reality. And reading it I was able to experience what my life as a young mother with rudimentary French in France would probably have been like. Miserable, lonely and not the dream I convinced myself of at all. Possible a highrisk for mental health issues too. I was struggling as it was in the UK to make meaningful friendships and I am a fluent English speaker. No, your video is so important, unfortunately. If only to seperate illusion from practical living. Surviving and thriving in the lonely planet called Elsewhere.
Thank you so much. Of course I recognize that no two people will have the same experience but it is important to share the reality. Even with a knowledge of the language - it doesn’t always mean that you will have an easy experience
You could re-post this video, only replacing “Italy” and shots of the country with EVERY OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.
This was pretty damn enlightening. I realized a few years back that uprooting yourself from the familiar is daunting, if not downright scary. I definitely give credit to you for establishing yourself in a new environment. I wish you the best and maybe, I’ll move abroad myself.
Thank you! It's an experience that opens you up for sure.
Poetic. Your compassionate yet brutal honesty is a much needed reality check. Quite grateful. Thanks.
Thank you!
Definitely well narrated, but it was the exposure of the raw truth without extinguishing the imperfect yet perfect dream that kept me hooked to this video and subsequently subscribing. I too married to South African/ Italian fell inlove with the culture , the food, the people. So much so that I too wanted to move to Italy and start a new life. But those harsh realities against the backdrop of this dream has kept me guarded and level headed. I will continue to plan, explore and mitigate as I continue toward the dream of moving to Italy.
Don’t give up by any means but dream with your eyes wide open and you’ll have a much better experience. Thank you for your support!
Definitely, all of the above. I lived there for 6 years and will return soon. Despite all of the negativity, It was a little better to deal with the brutal honesty of the negative than the covert negativity of the US.
Wow!! How refreshing to hear some truth. You answered many of my questions regarding southern Italy with honesty and vulnerability. As a Portugal resident from the States, I have found that "the people" of your adopted country can make or break your desire to learn and meld into the culture. Thank you for sharing your boots-on-the-ground experience.
Thank you - I’m happy to hear you appreciated it!
Desire isn’t enough. It takes discipline. This world we live in will show you there are 2 types of people. Ones who are distracted and those who are disciplined and stay focused. You can become that other person at any point. Figure out what makes you stick to things. Curiosity is sometimes a gift sometimes a curse. Make a commitment to yourself that you will learn something and study it hard and diligently. Also you can always deepen your relationship with people and you can always choose gratitude of it all. Experience
Geez, this really cleared my mind about this topic. Can’t thank you enough, you’re struggles have not gone it vein
Thank you
Interesting.
I'm Brazilian, and my family is half greek. I've been living in the UK for the last 10 years. 10 years, and yet, I can confidently say that the first friends I've made during this time are Italians. The culture makes so much of a difference than people realise before migrating to another country, it's incredible. I think my background just makes it much easier to "mesh" with italians, greeks, spaniards and portuguese.
I've been to Italy a few times, and although they weren't long stays, I felt so much more at home, something that I didn't know I missed and longed for so long here in the UK.
I'm italian (from south). You lady, created a geat video, illustrating all the contraddictions and giving perfectly the idea about what living in Italy really Is.
Thank you so much!
Do you like reading? Reading an Italian book on a topic you are interested in or an Italian translation of a book you love in English (even poetry, magazines, the newspaper, or coffee table books), listening to music and writing the lyrics then singing it, and journaling in Italian can help synthesize the language so that you learn it like your learned English naturally as a child. Just look up the words you don’t understand and your brain will learn them. This has been my language hack throughout my life & has brought me joy. Maybe it can be useful for you?
Your video is lovely. Well wishes from the USA 🌸
Thank you for your wonderful advice and lovely words - some great suggestions that I’ll try!
I really enjoyed your heartfelt perspective. Life is a journey and your "perfectly imperfect" view is right on!! We go to Sicily often and have property there, with a desire to retire there at half of the year. I study my Italian every day and I have learned that as long as you embrace and try when you are there, they will reciprocate! Thanks for sharing!!
I am so glad you liked this video and how lovely to have this retirement vision
I love this video so so much. Some of the things you said were word for word, things that I have been thinking for the last five years. Thank you for the wonderful video!
I’m so glad that my words could resonate
Great video. You kept it real about living in Italy. I currently live here with my family 2 1/2 years and 3 more to go. We live in Naples and have a big groups of friends here and locals. I should be doing the same putting out videos about living here. We’ve been blessed to travel over 14 countries out here I need to spread the knowledge.
Yes, do!
I don’t know but I find your voice very soothing, and love your narration, thanks for sharing
Thank you!
I'm retiring in the next few years and wanted to move to Italy when winters in London get bad and summer's back to London, but your video has made me think very hard on my plans
Whilst I think it is essential for you to have your eyes opened about the realities of living in Italy vs the perceived fairy tale, it is important to note that one person’s experiences do not have to be your own. My experiences overall, have been a lot more positive than other expats who have moved here, for example. I want this video to provide an honest reflection and help people to understand that Italy in itself isn’t perfect but it doesn’t mean it can’t be the perfect place for you to spend time.
Well said! Experiencing Italy through travel and actually living there are two totally different experiences. Even having Italian origins but lived and raised in South Africa, moving and living back to Italy was difficult on many levels
It looks like typical difficulties of any expat. The little prince was saying that the treasure is the tree in your garden
This was beautiful and narrated. You did a very good job. I did not want it to end.
Thank you so much.
You explained your feelings SO well! It is how I felt living in Mexico for 9 years. Thank you for sharing. Most will not understand until they live it. I appreciate your understanding.
Thank you
This sounds like it is coming from a spoiled person expecting more than any country vacant provide. This is nothing like what I have experienced in many months of traveling to Italy.
Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. I'm not sure you understand the nature of this video or my channel but I will say that no two people's experiences are ever the same.
I don't know Sorrento, I only spent a week there at the InterContinental hotel...
But I spent 5 years in Sicily and I made a lot of friends (acquaintances?), I'm still in contact with most of them now that I live in France. How did I do that? I simply invited them to come for a drink and a barbecue on the terrace of my house. At least twice a week they would bring something to eat or drink and eventually a friend... They met all kinds of new people and everyone had a great time. There was always people in this big house, locals, old friends who came to enjoy the Mediterranean sea and food, family members on vacation with the kids or even couch surfers.
I have traveled a lot in my life, since I was a child. So I know how hard it can be to make a really good friend later in life. But this is not specific to Italy. Chance is a huge factor, but you also have to be in the right frame of mind and get involved in social activities.
Yes - of course. I think it also helps to live in an area where there is the opportunity to meet people and have these social connections.
@@MsBritaly "it also helps to live in an area where there is the opportunity to meet people and have these social connections."
Europe is full of those areas and most of its people aren't scared of strangers.
Imagine trying that in the USA where everyone is always in its car and people buy guns to protect themselves against you...
One of those new friends was on it's sailboat when I started talking to him. There was an ex Miss Italy, a French teacher, a noble with an incredible house, a Czechoslovakian scientist, my AC installer (who's brother traveled with me to my Paris apartment for a week to visit the city), a singer, a postman...
In most parts of Europe, you can meet all kind of people just by talking to them and inviting them.
In the USA, people will easily come talk to you but if you invite them they'll think you are trying to get something from them (money or green-card) or that you are in some shady business (a human trafficking ring like in those movies in Europe...) :D
Been here since 8 months and I find it extremely difficult, I don't know if it's just me, but oftentimes it feels like people are downright hostile. I came here to be with my boyfriend, but I'm seriously considering going back home again. (Not that it matters, but I have lived in 3 different countries before going to Italy, so I know the struggles of being a foreigner, but Italy definitely is the hardest of all of them). Sorry for ranting 😅
Don’t apologize! It’s not easy hence the fact I started this channel to try to cope with life living abroad. I do want to say though piano piano - give it time. Italy is a particular country where your experience can vary wildly from North to South - I don’t know where in Italy you are at the moment but it’s always comforting to know that it’s not the same everywhere.
@@MsBritaly Thanks. I'm in the north, but I always hear that the Northerners look down on the South and that the South is kinda treated like a whole different country. To me though, even the North sometimes resembles what I would imagine a 3rd world country to be like. Things take sooooo much time, from administrative things, to handymen etc. where you would normally make one appointment and be done, here you need 5-8 appointments. 🙃 You are right, it is a very peculiar country, but it does have its charming sides to it too. I just hope I can see enough positive sides to be able to stay 😅
Stick with it. I don’t think Italy is for everyone for all of the above reasons but if you scratch beneath the surface, you’ll find something very special about this place
My sister years ago fell in love with Italy , when we went to visit family .My sister met an Italian man moved to Italy married him, my sister's husband was a real smooth talker . My sister's husband beat her , I know that could anywhere , but when she called the police , they would not help her , because she was an American . My sister was born and raised in Canada .
@@Jay-vr9ir That's horrible, is she still with him?
Unforgettable video, thank you for your honesty. Especially about jobs, its good to know what to look out for. I have experieneced nearly all of this in the US. I went to a catholic school, nearly everyone italian and it was just as you describe. So I hypothesize it all starts at home this italian-only mentality, family-family mentality, no individuality. You are either in or your out. Despite all that I am looking to move and still considering Italy. Just not expecting a fairytale at all.
It is beautiful here, no doubt, and if your expectations are realistic you will enjoy it so much more.
@MsBritaly thank you for your beautiful vibration of your Italian journey as an expat ..Hope all is well 2 years later God bless your soul 🙏
It is, thank you too!
I travelled Italy from Germany for 2 weeks and I fell in love. It has culture and contentment for lives. from Bangladesh. 😮
Really nice thoughts and it feels like coming from your soul. I appreciate your honesty.
I have similar experiences living in Greece. But I learned Greek language and it made all the difference. After I became fluent I became closer to be “one of them”.
Thank you - yes the language really helps!
I am an Italian living in England and I understand what you saying especially the struggle with the language! I have found myself in UK but I am glad that you find your place there! ❤️
I think just like it is for foreigners here in the US, it’s a drastically different culture and language and it’s not until you embrace those differences entirely that you can make meaningful connections. It’s human to be untrusting of something new, untrusting of a foreigner trying to impart something foreign onto the culture and change it in some way. This is why many kind Americans love learning about other cultures, but we don’t have much patience for someone living here and unwilling to make the effort to learn our more commonly spoken language, English. We love learning about their culture but we don’t necessarily want to be slandered here for what an outsider doesn’t understand of our culture.
In other words, No matter where you go, you must embrace the new and respect differences and remain optimistic. If you’re going to live in a country that speaks a different language from you, you need to make it a priority to learn that language. Period the end. Much like if you’re in a relationship with a foreigner, you must make it a priority to learn their language out of respect to them and just to be able to carry on conversations respectfully with your in-laws. Not to mention learning how to culturally address people respectfully in their language that a whole other part of learning the language.
Indeed!
I speak fluent Italian and come from Italian heritage. Culture shock! I tried to reconnect with my Italian roots and it was a huge let down! I think you are very accurate in your observations!
Thank you for sharing your experience!
This is what it feels when you uproot to a foreign country. I have the same experience moving to Australia, Italy and London. For you it just happens to be Salerno.
Yes of course there are many similarities
Finding peace and comfort in where you are without expectations may expand gratitude but I deeply appreciate your perspective and insight. I wish you comfort and peace and hoping also that you can be kind and gentle with yourself. Our interactions and connections come in so many ways especially now with so many of us with family and friends all over the globe which can leave a longing stuck in our bellies. Moments to count each day upon positive interactions with people matter more than we realize. I enjoy southern Italy and perhaps I can enjoy extended trips Vs full time. Thank you for your service as an educator and best from California!
Beautiful words - thank you.
Very good video. Very interesting, real experiences. That is obvious. Especially interesting what you said about friendship in Italy. I think true friends are very difficult to find, and not only in Italy but everywhere in the world. The term friendship is often given too easily to people these days everywhere. True friends support you in your difficult and easy moments, and accept you for who you really are.
Thank you. Yes - I don't think there is a one size fits all approach to friendship.
I am also international student living in Salerno from 2 years and I am totally agreed with your opinion. First of all I was much good and interested in speaking Italian but now I have not any more interest to learn more having experience that it would not have any better impact to make good connections with Italian community.
I think regardless of connection, knowing the language can help in so many ways. It is very easy to become isolated by not being able to speak.
@@MsBritaly How someone can be isolated or being not able to speak if he is living in Italy specially Salerno😄. I survived two years because i learned it before coming to Italy otherwise it could be a problem as no one can speak or want to speak a single sentence of English. This thing can be tolerate or negotiate because its south of Italy but there is a social gap even finding residence I didn't get response because many of the people don't give place to straniero(foreigners). Even many of the basic facilities are not or well defined.
It is a different way of life and I have heard other people share similar experiences when it comes to finding accommodation. I will say though that to rent somewhere in Italy is always a risk for the owner because the rules here in Italy to evict tenants are lengthy and complicated.
I can resonate with every single part of this having lived in ABRUZZO now 6 years and set up business here which is very different from that of the UK it’s definitely had its challenges both personally and in work. It is for sure PERFECTLY IMPERFECT. Thanks for sharing the truths 😊
Thank you - it is so important to talk about these aspects
Wow bless you. This has really touched my soul! I'm moving to Italy on the 9th short notice. I'm learning Italian as we speak. I couldn't imagine what it must be like not even being able to communicate ❤️
I’m so happy you’re moving here and learning the language too - it will make a big difference to your experience!
The most important thing you can do is not only learn the language but also the cultural competencies - television, cinema, music, politics and of course our strange traditions etc.. Language is so undervalued and will hold you back and not be able to connect with people who are probably more like you.
Hello Claire, I've just come across your video. I can totally understand your account of your experiences here in Italy. I moved from Kent (UK) to the province of Salerno over 40 years ago. Everything you say here is true.
It's still difficult to fit in sometimes, even after all these years. However, I wouldn't live anywhere else! Living in a small town, I actually love the less complicated way of life. England has changed too much over the years..... I don't want to say anything too negative about it. It's just not for me any more.
So, dear MsBritaly (love the name btw!), persevere. You're here for a reason. You'll love Italy with all your heart one day ❤
Thank you so much for your beautiful words!
this is really well writted
Thank you!
There are always tradeoffs no doubt. I appreciate the honesty in your experiences related to living in Italy as a foreigner. I've come to terms that as a Canadian born to Italian parents, I can have a far more fulfilling life overall in Italy. My parents are from 2 hours south of Rome and Calabria. Being fluent in dialect and proper Italian, I'm aware of the difficulty of not being able to speak the language. I'm drawn to a simpler life, better weather, lower cost of real estate (depending where you choose to live), and the prospect of being part of a community in a smaller town. There are good a bad people everywhere but for myself it's an easy choice. It's far better than life in Canada.
Absolutely- there are pros and cons to everything. What’s important is that you follow the path that’s right for you.
Very authentic video. I love how you speak of the good and the bad in a heartfelt way. Im trying to get my Italian citizenship and Im married to a Tuscan woman. Id love to move to Italy someday if possible. Cheers from the US
Thank you - I hope you make it possible!
Very well done and thanks so much for your honesty! I lived in France for a while last year and experienced much of the same. I'm considering living in Italy next, and it helps to get a realistic perspective.
I’m glad it helps!
Being here the last 2 years. I still don't speak or understand italian well, so I understand much of what you say. I live in Terrasinisi. We should meet for lunch sometime. Would love to compare notes. 😊
I appreciated the honest point of view, It is very easy to dream about Italy when is portraited like a dream come true in social media. However as an immigrant myself I can see how things have turned complicated for her. No.1 Moving to another country and not learning the language is not only putting yourself in a very difficult position, but after a while living in a country and having expectations such as friendships and romantic relationship with Italians, you absolutely NEED to speak the language. Learning a language opens a whole new world, reading the news, watching italian shows, it helps to understand better their culture. On the other hand it shows commitment and RESPECT for the country and new culture that you are embracing. Moving to a foreigner country and not learning the language is very common among English speakers.
It is indeed a common experience and one of the biggest and hardest lessons I’ve learnt
I decided to retire here and while it's beautiful everything you say is 100% correct. Beautiful yes, inexpensive yes, but I have never been more unhappy. It's time for people to tell the truth . Living here is a completely different story and it's nothing like what they show you on social media. The videos of breathtaking views and eating pizza is true but what they show you is the vacation version of Italy. Living here especially in the south is dysfunctional and if you do not have family and are alone it's even worse. I never imagined it would be this bad and I speak the language and was born here but unless you grow up here it's very hard.
I always say it is so important to share a balanced, realistic view of life here for this reason. It isn't easy to live here. We want to believe that life in Italy is this romantic image we have of it but it is just like any other country in the world - it has its difficulties.
Try Norway, where everything is so damn expensive, and also cold unfriendly people.
@@marie2810 yes i heard that!! working in tourism here in italy i have come across that
This was very thoughtful. It's like they say. You can't run away from yourself.
Absolutely
Well said, I could relate to your perspective and appreciate the realism of just how we’re wired as humans, British, Italian, American etc. I’m 73, and met my Italian relatives in northern Italy, super sweet folks, but my attraction is to the southern part of the country. I’ll be staying in the south for a month, to see if I want to move there and am grateful for all the posts I’m viewing, to prep for my trip. Thank you❤️
Thank you too - the South is very special
Thank you for the dose of reality. It is so easy to dream of another life and so many videos romanticizing it
Yes - it’s important to share reality - this is the best way to shape people’s dreams of moving here.
3:05 I’ve travelled around Italy many times by myself. One thing I found about Italians is they keep to themselves and their little peer group. They have an attitude of they’ll leave you alone if you leave them alone. I cant think of any instance where an Italian as came upto me in a bar or cafe to make genuinely friendly conversation. Only the barman to sell me something. The friends I’ve made on my travels have been other European tourists.
It's interesting isn't it and I do think that experiences can vary depending on where you are in Italy.
I am not trying to be mean, but if in 5 years you didn't really learn the language, that is 100% on you, and you really are not in a position to evaluate life in Italy. That doesn't mean I am saying many of your observations and experiences are not valid, but without learning the language, did you even really move to Italy? Or was it more of an extended vacation? Learning a language is crucial to being able to assimilate, and not assimilating will definitely lead to loneliness.
Thanks so much for taking the time to watch this video and of course, commenting on this video. Opinions from others are just that - but thank you 🙏🏻
@@MsBritaly Well, I hope you take the time and effort to become fluent so you can improve your situation. My wife and I talk about going to Italy, but learning languages is not her strong suit, so I worry for her because in Italy, if you don't speak Italian, you are not going to like living there. And this is more true the further south or more "rural" you go. I wish you the best.
@@mvp019 Thank you - I am indeed studying and learning. The growth you gain from living in another country expands beyond language and I hope you get to experience life here and follow your dreams of living here.
Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts. May every day get better for you.
Thank you!
Thank you for bringing your wisdom and vulnerabilities making this a truly real video. Much appreciated! ❤
Thank you!
Beautifully narrated, very powerful, authentic. I loved this episode.
Thank you so much!
Ciao, è stato molto bello poter sentire le problematiche di una inglese in Italia. Tutto quello che dici, parola per parola, l'ho vissuto a Londra e non capivo una mazza di Cockney. Ora però ti dico due cose: primo, che anche per un italiano spesso è complicato vivere in Italia, e per quanto riguarda gli stranieri, hanno in testa un'Italia immaginata e di fantasia, un pò come se uno volesse conoscere Londra guardando i film di James Bond o la serie TV sui royals. Inoltre, la grande differenza tra i nostri due popoli è che voi siete stati abituati ad andare all'estero da padroni che hanno imposto la lingua inglese, mentre noi da fine 800 a oggi siamo emigrati in giro per il mondo, siamo al secondo posto dopo i cinesi, e ci siamo dovuti sempre adeguare, imparare la lingua obbligatoriamente, e subire spesso il razzismo. Eppure dovunque gli italiani siano andati hanno dato un contributo a quei paesi. Gli inglesi espatriano nelle loro ex colonie. Ciò detto, io ho visto persone obbligate a emigrare perché qui non c'era lavoro e pur con tutti i problemi del caso, li ho visti molto ben inseriti. Se non hai una reale necessità è meglio non emigrare, ci si trova meglio tra la propria gente. Mi sono trovato molto bene invece con i veri inglesi fuori Londra, persone veramente gentili anche se con una mentalità tutta loro.
excellent response
Beautifully said! I've been an expat a few times, in a few places, and you've described the experience very well.
Thank you!
Thank you for such an honest and heartfelt video. I have lived in many...well...some other different countries over the years and your feelings and observations really spoke to me. I found myself half listening to your words and half replaying moments in my life and experiences that they stirred up. The feelings of isolation are what drove me to learn Spanish well, I dislike not being able to express myself and make connections. While that is part of the rush and wonder of travelling sometimes, being the little fish in someone else's big pond, it is not helpful when you want to put down some roots in a place and make meaningful connections. I have been looking at living in Italy for a time, my great grandparents were from a small town outside of Salerno so I really appreciate your insights. I have been slowly trying to learn Italian, or at least have a decent base when I arrive. The Spanish makes it easier but also more confusing. Though from my travels I should know better, your video made me realize that I am indeed constructing some probably unrealistic fantasies in my mind. So thank you for pulling my feet back down to earth and again, thank you for your honesty. I wish I was as articulate as you are. Rocco
“Italy is perfectly imperfect”, as an Italian I can say that you have nailed the concept perfectly 😊
Thank you!
La tua storia è bellissima! Il video è stato molto piacevole da guardare e riflettere.
Your story is beautiful! The video was very enjoyable to watch and reflect on❤️
Grazie mille 🙏🏻
Grandparents came from Palermo ❤❤looking close to there
Ah lovely!
It's very simplistic to divide Italy in to north and south, and also very Anglo Saxon.
In Italy there are dozen of different local situations, and pratically every city has its own cultural background of many centuries which influences every day life and way of life.
Even at mealtimes, when going to work, in relationship with politic and religion.
Yes it is and intentionally so. Italy is very multifaceted and it can be difficult sometimes to truly convey what that can be like in a video. That said, I have touched on this topic in more recent videos.
Your ideology resonates with me -most people are shallow-I’ve lived in the same place for decades and the exact people exist in my life-I’ve never found my tribe1-it must be intensified living there -I live in Hawaii and is the same insular,corrupt situation,despite the overwhelming natural beauty
-i appreciate the straightforwardness of Italians-the food,the wine -I travel thee annually -
this is still how I feel after being more than 20 years in the usa
Love your voice…. I’m retiring early to Italy. It’s all up to you on how much you gain out of any culture or with your friends.. make the effort.
Good luck girl..
Absolutely - thank you!
Wow, I appreciate your perspective. I have moved a lot in my life so i can somewhat feel your pain and hardship. Although, i did grow up bilingual so i can’t even imagine how much harder for you it was. This makes me want to appreciate my foreign friends a lot more
Thank you!
your experiences of living an "x pat" life are interesting and your description insightful. Thanks for putting the time into producing this. Wish you God's speed in your new country.
Thank you!
You were very courageous to pick southern Italy, my hat's off to you! I think you are doing quite well!
Thank you so much!
Moving to a country and living there for four years without learning the language and then complaining you feel isolated and restricted by being unable to communicate feels like potentially the most entitled and naive understanding of how the world works that I've heard from an adult. I've lived in three separate countries in the last 10 years, sure making friends as an expat is hard, but I think the unrealistic fantasy here is expecting the world to cater to you rather than putting in the required work to assimilate into the place you've chosen to call home.
I would respond but I think there is no point. If you really understood this video or my channel, then you would know. Thanks for taking the time to comment though!
I agree with you totally. Firstly you need to open the communication channel to learn and master the language to assimilate into the Italian society.
Here in America, I have seen Mexicans move here, never master the language, proudly hang their Mexican flags and say “Soy Mexicano!”. I think to myself, why in the world did you move here?
My suggestion for anyone to successfully assimilate into a society is to first learn and if possible learn and continue to master the language.
Secondly join groups of interest, fitness, faith, fun, professional, where able.
And with the mastery of language may come the hope of love, which would require an enormous amount of communication.
I believe one would this as a start to hope to assimilate into any society.
An overall good assessment of what a foreigner could expect from living in Italy but I was taken aback that you lived there 4 years and did not learn the language. I respect your honesty about the why, but no wonder you found it difficult as you would in any other country. I find the title then, a bit misleading..
Thank you for your comment. Language is fundamental but it isn’t a magic wand that makes all the other experiences mentioned in this video, disappear. I can speak for people who I l know who speak the language yet still have difficulties here and you only have to look through the comments on this video too. Therefore the video title is accurate for its content. It would be more misleading to say learn Italian and you’ll have a perfect life.
Best reflected video I have seen in a looooong time - all the best to you..
Thank you!
Well explained, and many listener can share your experience. ( Hence, they are watching your video.) After my immigration, into a country I didn’t speak the language first. Life and connections started after getting involved with people beyond the job (hobbies and volunteering). Now, thinking of spending some extensive time in another country, Italy. I guess I do have to accept to start again, a new language, social engagement...Thanks for your video, to provide reality to the fairy dream.
Thank you! 🙏🏻
Beautiful.
You have a lovely way with words.
Obviously Italy inspires you on some level
It does indeed - thank you 🙏🏻
Thanks for your honesty. Thanks for showing the beauty of your heart. Thanks for this clip. It was real!
Thank you!
@@MsBritaly🙏
Thank You for your thoughts observations and nicely put together show much appreciated
much love to you ,best wishes and good luck many thanks x 10000000
Thank you so much!
Very nicely scripted and i totally agree with everything 👍I'm an expat myself for 13 years in the UK and how you described about Italy I can say very similarly about the UK. It was very hard at the beginning but years go by and you fall in love with the country and people..
Thank you! Yes I think this can be relatable wherever you may be
Please DO MORE OF THESE break down each thing...friendships, language learning etc...But yes I do think your reluctance in learning Italian is the reason...what is UNDERNEATH THAT???
There’s a lot to unpack - thanks for your comment!
Great video, I love your style! Keep it up.
Thank you!
Appreciate your honesty and transparency. Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you. Your video is eye opening, intuitively beautiful. Sighs, this Earth is hard to find a home but I respect her and I honor her.
Thank you
I think being there alone would be hard. Probably if you had a partner it would have been much more easy. I have heard many wonderful stories about people moving to southern Italy from California and people embrace them. So I guess it is always our energy that attracts most things in our life.
Of course everyone has different experiences. I too believe in the power of our energy and how it can influence our life - I credit all of the things that I have been able to achieve here for that. I also have a partner here. I always paint a realistic picture of how life can be here in the South. There are lots of factors that can influence an experience - including location and the ability to communicate.
Italians embrace people from the U.S.?????
@@Jay-vr9ir of course. At last I did. If you had bad experiences don't generalise.
@@cosettapessa6417 My family are from Italy and I have lived there. Embrace??Some pervert Italian man perhaps.
I know Americans here who are made to feel very welcome. There will always be the isolated few who treat others badly but it’s not a general quality - thankfully