My tip: if something your roommate does a lot is seriously bothering you, bring it up as soon as possible. If you don't, there are two possible consequences: one is that it will just fester and breed resentment within you, and you'll be more likely to blow up; the other is that your roommate will feel really bad about the fact that they were doing something that bothered you for a long time, and will constantly be wondering if you secretly hate other things they do. If you have honest communications early and often, then you can resolve these issues in a healthy way without all the passive-aggression, paranoia and inevitable blow-ups.
My advice. Try to find roommates that you like as people. I've been living for a year with a roommate who, although he is a good person, does not get along with me at all. I find communication would be a lot better if we had day to day conversations, but we are so different we have nothing to talk about.
As long as they can pay the rent on time the rest can be worked out or managed. You just have to find someone who is responsible so you don't end up babysitting them lol. I had a roommate every week we would have a talk about something. Stress the hell out of me. finally I had enough and kick them out.
I am getting a roommate for the first time in like, 3 years, and the first thing we did was meet up at Starbucks and take turns saying all of our pet peeves from our last roommates just to see if we were on the same page - things like not leaving clothes in the washer/dryer for days, putting dishes in the dishwasher rather than just leaving them scattered about the apartment, etc. and it went really well. That said, I'm still terrified.
Hi, all. Just a quick note. I'm usually pretty active in the Comments section for our videos, particularly in the first few days after they post. Sadly, though, there was an unexpected death in my family this week, so I won't be taking part in the conversations here or on our Tumblr for a little while. The good news, of course, is that you guys are always so wonderful and helpful to one another. I'm sure that will continue to be the case even if I'm not popping my head (and two cents) in this time around. I just didn't want y'all to think I was ignoring you. I'll be back again as soon as I can. In the meantime, thanks so much for watching, and keep remembering to be awesome. - Mike
Housemates are the worst! I set the house rules after my partner (at the time) and housemate bought a cat without telling me because "you would have said no" well yeah, I'm allergic jerks.
i was reading the description and all i could think of was: "The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That poison?"
This may seem strange, but I found when I was an RA that roommates tend to be more harmonious when they din't share things like food and the grocery bill... it may make sense to share, but youd be surprised how upset people get over some one drinking the last of a soda, or having to go havsies on something only one of them eats...
My advice is that if your roommate is going through a tough situation -eg. their working hours are like death- do some nice things for them. :3 Make sure the house is clean and tidy, offer to take one of their chores on for a day, make dinner so they can have some when they get home from work. If your friends and you have an understanding with each other, they will repay you in the exact same way and you will also benefit from the cleanness/food.
One other thing to consider is setting some generals rules about having company. When I was in school I had roommates who would regularly bring over friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc unannounced. While I normally have no problem with this, it got a bit frustrating around exam time when I needed to study and there were people making noise all over the house. So check with your roommates ahead of time and see what their preferences are on having people over.
What excellent tips! Thank you for sharing them! :D I have a tip as well, but it's more like emphasizing the "set the rules early on" one: Set the rules on BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS/SIGNIFICANT OTHERS early on. It's very unpleasant to waltz into the kitchen, in your pyjamas, only to bump into this bloke you'd never seen before.
I had a roommate during my first year of college, then for four years following I had a single room in a corridor, and then my last semester I lived in a townhouse as an RA with 5 other men (each our own room, shared living room, kitchen, and two full bathrooms). Now that I've graduated I've had a roommate and an apartment for about 6 months now. Biggest tip: Establish your personality and expectations early. Each time I've failed to do this (including current scenario), someone tries to either take advantage of your vagueness, or trys to be the, "I wear the pants around here," role, regardless of all things. At that point, putting your foot down is your best approach, but do not, under any circumstances, UNLEASH THE BEAST! It might not end well. My current roommate has been all push recently and it has been getting to me. Especially since I work 4x10 hour shifts Tuesday-Friday, and 2x12 hour shifts Saturday and Sunday, all during the evening and late night. I know normally I can seem pushy or aggressive; very affirmative tone, vocabulary, and direct/blunt for the sake of brevity and clarity, not for the sake of being a jerk. Because of this I took it easy for the first few months and now it I am being treated more as a doormat by my 3-year younger roommate rather than an equal. Seriously, establish your personality and expectations early, otherwise you may find yourself in a situation where you're uncomfortable and feel trapped. That is bad.
your roommate does not need to be your friend. accept this early on and things will be a lot less awkward than if you're trying to befriend them and they want nothing to do with it. as long as they're courteous and respectful, they'll be an okay roommate.
My tips for getting along are honestly things parents tell their 5-year-olds, just beacuse I think it's honestly good advice for getting along with people. Use your words. (People can't read your mind, and being passive-aggressive never solves anything.) Treat others how you want to be treated. (Like Emma said, golden rule!) Be polite. (Kind of falls under the golden rule thing, but it's good to make a point of it.) Listen. (There is absolutely nothing better than a good listener. Don't just wait for your turn to speak, actually listen to and think about what they have to say. If you listen to them, they'll be much more likely to listen to you.) I'm not going to say that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything, because that's impractical. You're going to have disagreements. Conflict is going to arise. The key is to be practical and reasonable, and not get nasty. Insults and playing the blame game never got anyone anywhere. Try to think of things from the other person's perspective, and focus on solving the problem rather than "winning" the argument. Also, agreeing to disagree is sometimes necessary. It's not pleasant, but sometimes it just has to happen. Best of luck to people living with roommates for the first time! :)
1. Set the rules early on. 2. Status meetings. 3. Be consistent. 4. Be generous. 5. It's a SHARED apartment. 6. Keep communication open. 7. Prepare for moving out.
Monthly meetings are INCREDIBLY important! Even weekly! My roommate completely up and left (and took the internet with her), and I had no idea why. Left without a trace. Still paid her rent, though, but I think I just got lucky there. I'm pretty sure it was because the lines of communication were frayed. We were fantastic roommates in residence for the first year, but once we got an apartment, everything went down hill.
leave nice notes for your roommates all over the house! bake things together, or bake things and leave a not that says feel free! mutually procrastinate by talking about how frustrated you all are with the prof of the class you are all in! if only one person has a car, coordinate grocery runs so they turn into adventures! pick flowers from neighbours gardens (haha no..) to make the kitchen smell pretty! text each other to make sure everyone's okay when stressful things are happening and everyone is secluded in their rooms! share the perks of the "good" rooms, like the bathtub and the balcony! have late-night hallway politics-discussion pow wows that turn into debates about which treat Tim Hortons should bring back to their menu! be loud and obnoxious when everyone is in the mood, but quiet when it's time to do work! eat meals together every once in a while and catch up on life stories! MAKE CRAFTS! ... can you tell I love my roommates a lot... (and I wish I could live with them all the time but only one more week :()
I have had a slew of bad roommates so I highly recommend not only know how/if you can abandon ship but also WHEN to. I am a highly empathetic/sympathetic person so hindsight tells me I would have had a less rough time with some people if I had left earlier or left even before we signed the lease (aka ignoring red flags because I JUST NEED A PLACE TO LIVE). It is OKAY TO BACK OUT. Just be aware on how. If it's going to cost, start budgeting an emergency fund for that OH CRAP moment because IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO LEAVE AN UNHEALTHY ENVIRONMENT IN THE LONG RUN NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT MAY COST SHORT TERM.
My roommates and I make a google spreadsheet in which we enter the costs we have put in for the apartment - electric, TP, dish soap, etc. every couple of months we add it up and pay each other back accordingly.
This would have been such a good video to have back in uni when I lived with others, some nightmare some good, great work guys. I know you've done one about Laundry but can you do a general cleaning video? Or just some tips for living alone? I'm moving out totally alone for the first time soon and it feels so overwhelming.
Do this, especially if you see real problems starting to come up. You might need it, for example, if you're living in a dorm and need to switch rooms (the RA will want/need to know why; "I don't like her" isn't a valid reason on its own). Or if you feel your safety is threatened in some way. That said, keep your grievances private until needed: no badmouthing your roommate on the internet, or writing about it for a class. It will get back to said roommate, and the rest of the floor in your dorm, and there's a good chance any future roommates will hear about it too if they've done minimal research.
I live with 5 other people in a 7 bedroom house (there have been points when 8-9 people have lived here). Two are a married couple with an almost 2 year old and one roommate has his 4 year old every other weekend. It’s a daily struggle trying to get everyone to do their fair share of cleaning and maintain the dish schedule. The first of three issues at the moment is that there are two living rooms, but a couple people tend to make the living rooms their designated space and not everyone feels welcome sitting and watching TV or reading in the living room. This makes me feel extremely isolated to my room and I’m really depressed. I have no power or control in this living situation and I cannot afford to move out. I don’t know what to do. It’s been brought up multiple times but it still happens. The second issue is one roommate has a broken down car in the yard that they will not take care of. There are weeds growing around it and it looks really trashy. The third issue is one of the married couple’s dogs (I have a dog, they have two dogs, and another roommate has two cats) needs to see a vet ASAP because his fur is matted all over and he’s covered in scabs. I constantly find him rubbing himself bald on things because he is so itchy, but they won’t take him to a vet no matter how many of us mention it. He literally looks like he’s going to die.
So I am very lucky in having amazing housemates I moved in with two of my close friends so we all get along really well. The best thing to do is be considerate and open. Also use your words.
My rule 1: (if you can) Know who you are living with and what you are getting yourself in for in that living situation. Your bestie may not be the perfect room mate so before you sign anything be open with what each of you are like to live with. An introvert and an extrovert living together isn't going to make a pleasant household; neither is some one who is a clean freak or someone who is really messy. This really only applies if you have a choice with who you are living with eg in Collage but it is good to have that dialogue. Best way to start that convo is to be open about what you are like and see if they can live with it and then they will be more inclined to do the same. We all have our good and bad sides; let them know what you are like and they will (hopefully) do the same! p.s. it is much better to say 'no I don't want to live with you' now and salvage a friendship because if you don't you could potentially lose a friend.
my old roommate was the worst about paying bills and remembering to feed HER dog. on the dog front, I would often get texts in the middle of the day when my roommate had been at work for hours asking if I could take lunch to feed the dog.... on the bills front, the utility bills were in my name so I always paid them on time if she had given me her half or not. 9/12 months she would pay me 2 weeks late and then wonder why the next bill would come so soon and then say "didn't I just pay you?" It was awful
"Awkwardness and vulnerability are often the price of admission to 'make things more awesome' land" - Wise Words! This is a lesson I know is true but I'm still trying to learn. Well put.
My experience is mostly different, I've rented a room when I first moved out "on my own"...so I came into someone else's home and knew that there would be rules ect. All bills were in her name, so I knew she would pay them. I would be moving out eventually, and she would continue to live there...so she needed power ect to remain on. When I got my own place I chose to rent out a room to make ends meet. If your spouse/child free, its really a great money saver, paying mortgage on a single income can be hard! Best advice I have is, know your market area...don't try to charge more then the area will support. Also, instead of having a rent and utilities, get on equal pay for as many of your bills as possible and then just charge a set amount in addition to what you were going to charge for rent, that way they only have one amount to worry about and it covers everything. Above all else, have a written contract. You want to like everyone that comes into your life, but I've had 2 horrible roommate experiences that practically drowned out the 5 other great experiences. Drunk opposite gendered roommate wandering around the house naked urinating on the wall because they were unable to realize they weren't in their bathroom. *shudder* So glad to see the last of that one!
Passive aggression just causes everyone to be tense and/or angry. If you need to complain, do it calmly with no accusatory, blaming, or insulting words.
Roommate advice from someone who's had about 7 of them in the last ten years: Unless you already are before you move in, don't be Facebook friends while you're still living together. You already share so much and are in each other's space in person, leave this one area of privacy. When trying to find a roommate, ALWAYS meet a potential roommate in a public place and NOT at your apartment - best place is a coffee shop. Talk to them for a while, and have a list of personality questions that will give you a sense of who they are, and answer any of their questions about the apartment there so you aren't bringing every single person who's interested to your apartment, only the ones you think might work. DON'T be passive aggressive, if something is bothering you, suck it up and tell them because odds are they don't even realize they're doing something that's bothering you. And the best advice I can give is do NOT move in with a friend. The roommate situation tends to be temporary, and if it ends badly (as it can a lot of times - like losing a job and having to move home and leaving the other person hanging, or one of you moving out because it's not working out), it kills your friendship. It's easier to create a friendship with someone new in the roommate parameters than it is shift from friends to roommates.
Good housemates make ALL the difference. I've been living in the same six-room student house for four years and the differences between years are stunning. The difference between a gross kitchen and shower or a decent kitchen and shower is in the people using them.
A thought to add: it's okay to ask for proof of payment of bills. Even if you're living with friends. Trusting that the bills get paid is how I woke up one day and the lights wouldn't turn on and there was a note on the door from the Utility company. Another thought: often it's easier to live with someone you're acquainted with rather than a close friend. It's easier to keep it like a business relationship, and less is at stake. Last thought: I lived in a place with two bedrooms and two and a half bathrooms with roommates. Rent happened to be cheap because of the terrible neighborhood but it makes it so easy when you're not fighting over taking a shower, worrying about sharing cleaning duties of the bathroom. We had a little powder room with just a sink and toilet for guests so no one had to see our private bathrooms. If you can afford it, it's a great way to do roommates.
Roommate expectations can be helpful, but if roommates have incompatible lifestyles, it's always going to be a challenge. It can be done, but only with a lot of effort and energy spent by both parties.
How should someone go about getting a roommate? Is it a good idea to live with a friend? What about living with a relative (sibling, cousin, etc). Is it better to have a roommate that you have no prior relationship with? What about living with someone of the opposite sex?
So, I've run the gambit of these options, and here is what I have to say. Mind you it's all personal opinion, and not necessarily going to work for everyone. You can get a roomie almost any way you like, there are websites for them, friends of friends, college campus might have posters advertising rooms for rent, or even at work (Depending on how out of the way it is or stable it is) Any good roomie WILL interview you and go over basic ground rules before breaking out any papers for signage. You are a stranger to them, so meeting you in their own home may sound like a recipe for a bad horror film. If you're scared, don't be afraid to ask to meet in a public place first (They are a stranger to you too after all). Or ask if you can take along a friend. :3 This process is important, if you guys don't hit it off at least a little bit, I'd recommend you move along. It means that when you fight you will have no common ground to mend the wound with; making the living situation that much more awkward. Even if you say you're sorry and promise to correct whatever it is, if you don't talk outside of those interactions it will only get worse. If you only ever critique someone or business like feedback, with no positive or fun times to balance it out, you will end up hating them, no matter how pleasant they first appeared, or are. However you can skip that process if you'd like to live with a friend. :D YOU WILL STILL FIGHT. It's the makeup afterwords that makes you an adult. Do not be scared to be wrong, and do not worry about saying you're sorry. Because you're friends it makes it a little easier, but do make sure that you chose what friend you room with carefully. I'd recommend, if possible, trying it out for a week or two if you're not sure (Spend the night at their place, or at yours. A hotel would be best though, neutral ground as it where.). However, I find that generally you know what friends you can live with and what friends you'd kindly murder in their sleep after a few days. On living with someone of the opposite sex, I find that so long as you can be an adult about it, there is nothing to fear. After all, you are an adult now. It's not like someone's plumbing is threatening to your purity. There is no reason not to room with someone of the opposite sex, as long as you both respect eachother. Which, as roomies, if you didn't anyway, you'd be in trouble. That means, ladies, CLEAN YOUR RESTROOM! (To be perfectly clear, I mean feminine products) and gentlemen CLEAN YOUR SPACE. ( keep common areas man-cave free.) As a woman I've found that living with my male friends is actually a lot easier than living with any female friends, acquaintances, strangers ect. But again, the most important part about co-ed living: BE RESPECTFUL OF YOUR ROOMIE. Not that it isn't a big rule in general when rooming with someone, but it is extra important when you guys aren't the same gender. Respect them, respect their bodies, respect their space bubble.
My roommate is my sister! Because she is working so much of the time I do most of the household stuff. In return she let's me decorate the apartment how I want! Huzzah!
I had a housemate in Uni come home one day with a puppy (without consulting anyone first). She was a nursing student, so she used to leave the house at 5:30am and put the dog outside, where he proceeded to loudly bark and whine until myself or my other housemate caved and let him back inside. Then he proceeded to destroy everything inside the house. We ended up shutting him inside his owner's room, and then she got REALLY mad at us when he chewed her stuff.
My uni housemate did something similar to me. The dog hair used to get EVERYWHERE and she would expect me to hover up after it. Which I refused to do because it wasn't my dog and I wasn't consulted. It didn't go down well. She also negotiated her contract so that she could have a guinea pig. By the time we moved out, she had gerbils, two hamsters, a chinchilla and degus. It used to really annoy me because she was really fussy about cleaning but would leave their poop all over the bathroom floor when she was cleaning out their cages.
ninninikitty101 Urgh, that's the worst! Our house technically wasn't even allowed pets. My other housemate (who was and continues to be awesome - also totally a bridesmaid at my wedding in December - 7 years after moving out, so some of these stories have happy endings) had a little miniature collie who she had to hide when we had inspections, but otherwise was utterly well behaved, didn't smell and left no trace of 'dog' around the house. The contrast between that little angel and the evil whiney chewy devil dog.... was noticeable.
Ugh, I bet. Did she even try and train the devil dog? Also congratulations for getting married. :) It was just the fact that she used to complain about how inconsiderate our previous housemates were (They were possibly the worst housemates I've ever had. Never cleaned, had a party the night before exams etc.) yet she behaved as if the house was her house and I was just a lodger. I did consider getting a python to make a point though.
ninninikitty101 Nope, no training. She didn't have time to take care of him (which annoys me about pet owners in general). Thanks :D You should've got a python and started feeding it things the shape of her pets and hiding her pets. Hehehe...
mlemleh In my experience most people in the 18-24 age range are not yet responsible enough to take care of both themselves and an animal, especially a puppy. They're a lot more work than a lot of people realize. It's great that your other housemate seems to be an exception though. I had a housemate who took in a kitten while I lived with her, and the animal ended up well socialized and wonderfully behaved. But most of my peers who have animals (especially young ones that they were fully responsible for training) also have the terrible behavior problems that come with improperly training (or just not training) them.
My advice on roommates: Learn How to Say No. If they ask you nicely if you could empty the dishwasher, don't just reflexively say yes and then reconsider after they've gone when you realize what a rush you're in. Then you're in a bind: you don't want to come off as passive aggressive by not doing what you said you'd do, but now you're feeling like a pushover because you just agree to whatever your roommate asks. Just learn to say no, it makes things way easier.
I've heard the advice to not live with your friends, and I think that can be good advice; however, I also think it's easier to be a good roommate when you genuinely care about your roommate's happiness, which is more difficult when your roommate isn't your friend.
I see where you are coming from however it is probably best not to live with a very close friend (unless both of you are exactly alike) the top things that housemates fight about is bills, the trash and the washing up. It is not easy to go from fighting to being friendly with someone suddenly. Yes, you will understand each other more than strangers will but living with your best friend if not like it is on 'Friends'. But then again it depends on each person and the friendship itself.
I think it's fine so long as you know each other well, and know you can spend extended amounts of time together and be fine. Personally, I spent the last year rooming with a good friend of mine. We've known each other since we were four, but hadn't seen each other much over the past few years, so over the course of living together, I found that we'd both changed a bit and it did create some conflicts. We're still friends and still enjoy each other's company, but I don't think we should room together again. Basically what I'm getting at is to be sure you've spent long periods of time with the person recently so you have a good idea of what you're getting into. And keep in mind that even if you move in with a stranger, it's still totally possible to grow to car about each other and become friends over time.
I am curious why you use that high camera angle (like at 2:45 .) It doesn't really seem to have any effect other than being an odd angle. Is it just to have a different angle when shooting in a limited space, or is there another reason?
Though it may seem sort of obvious, if you have a roommate who is not doing certain things (or is doing certain things that you think are unacceptable) DO NOT just assume they'll figure it out on their own. Sometimes you have to confront them about it and let them know
In our place, we split groceries evenly. The rule for the fridge is No Name, Fair Game. If you eat something with someone else's name in it, bad plan, Stan. If you don't put your name on your food, someone else is free to eat it. We all have a mutual understanding of this, it works well.
Financial-getalong-tip: Open a shared google sheet or excel sheet in a shared folder and keep track of house expenses made by each of you. It makes deciding who pays the next bill much easier.
My very first roommate, kept the radiator off during a freakin minus 20 degrees time. Ugh I froze so much. And then we agreed to keep the radiator on at a certain level. She freakin did not hold her end of the deal. Grocery and cooking were already separated. Room definitely separated. Bathroom was cleaned by her mostly. But radiator was annoying. And the most annoying was, the night before she left, she had to cover herself with thinner sheets. SHE FREAKIN OPENED THE RADIATOR THAT NIGHT TO FULL. Like wth??? So she was basically smart enough to warm herself but stupid to keep herself cool. All she had to do was to reduce one piece of sheet so that she wouldn't be hot and i wouldn't be cold. She said she did not care that she did that way back at home as well. Ugh she was older than me yet very annoying. I am glad she went away and now I am with a very very good roomie (as everyone we both have our soft spots, and we both are careful abt not pushing those spots) sorry to vent...
My tip: if you have a significant other that does not live with you, don't let them stay over at yours every single night. Your roommate may say that they are cool with it and not verbally object, but they don;t want to constantly be the third wheel in their own home. Also if the SO isn't paying rent/bills/food costs, but is constantly over using those things, it's kind of rude. Having the conversation with your roommate and deciding a cap of nights allowed (say 3 max a week) can do WONDERS for the roommate relationship. Trust me.
So far I only have one roommate story, it was my first dormmate in college: He was a student from Japan by the name of Tak, short for Takuma Niki. Unfortunately, we didn't really get on well. There was almost no communication because English wasn't exactly his first language and at the same time my only language, so really it was like living alone except worse because you have to take the other person's comfort into account. Over all it was just a really uncomfortable and awkward year for presumably both of us but at least me.
The problem is, now anyone who attempts to come to any sort of agreement about chores, noise, bills etc, automatically gets accused of being "Sheldon".
Work out a food system early on. Some people do well with communal food, while others do better just shopping for themselves. My roommates and I all shop for ourselves and label our food with colored dot stickers.
I do have a problem with my roommate at the moment. She wakes up very very easily in the night, so whenever I go for a pee or grab a sandwich in the kitchen, she wakes up. Her headaches are worse in the morning when she wakes up during the night. She keeps asking me to keep quiet all the time, and I am trying to do the best I can, but she still wakes up every time I'm there. I already promised to stuff some food in my room around 23h so at least she won't hear noises when I want to get some food. But brushing teeth, I have to do that in the kitchen. I think I'm already getting pretty far in this, pleasing her... Anyone? I'm desperate for advice.
I left my roommate because I saw her true colors when our coworker expressed emotional pain. She was SO insensitive. My coworker (let's call him Paul) is on the spectrum and doesn't really have a great filter. He's said some ✌"inappropriate"✌ things, but never intentionally. He's actually a really conscientious guy. He just makes mistakes in social situations, that's all. I think most of the crew have been a bit unfair to him. Even exclusive. They're college students and they have fun with each other, but they don't really include him in. They have shown some signs of annoyance or "dislike" (I say loosely) toward him. And then one day, I overheard the chef speaking firmly with Paul, not knowing I was nearby. She told Paul--who was always outgoing and tactile at work--that he shouldn't touch coworkers anymore and that he can only talk about work or school. Paul _never_ meant to discomfort anyone. He expressed his pain to me and my ex-roommate; said he hated discomforting and/or hurting people, and perhaps even himself at this point. He even cried a bit. Now, I had lost my voice, so I couldn't say anything to make him feel better; the best I could do was pat his shoulder. I noticed my ex-roommate staring emotionlessly at him...as if she didn't care. I gestured toward him when he wasn't looking, and mouthed "say something," and she mouthed, "Like what?" When Paul left, I confronted my roommate (who happened to be able to read lips) for not trying to make a hurting Paul feel better. She said, "Well, what was I supposed to tell him? That it isn't true? That he isn't a problem in social situations? That he hasn't said stupid things to make a bad impression on people? On my first day at his job, he actually talked about a man's right to hit women for self-defense. That is an inappropriate and disturbing thing to say, especially at work. Crying or not, I'm not gonna lie to make him feel better. Everything he said was actually right. The truth is the truth. That's all he was crying over. I can't ease his pain from *_that._* He has no excuse for his inappropriate behavior and filter issues. He needs to work on it. So by all means, tell me what I was supposed to say to him, because the hard truth was all there was." And _that_ is why I moved out of the apartment, temporarily moved back in with my parents, and got a new place to myself. The truth is not always worth it, and neither is being right.
I have a problem with my roommates that I don't know how to solve.. I live with five other people and even though everyone has their own compartment in the fridge and on the groceries shelf, someone keeps stealing my food. I've tried to talk to them but of course they all deny it, no one's done anything at all.. I started keeping some stuff locked away in my room, but that's not possible for the refridgerated things, so I really don't know what to do...
My tip: CLEAN THE KITCHEN. Dear god just please clean your kitchen. That includes the stove and all of your pots and pans. Generally speaking any shared space should be kept clean. I lived in an apartment where every Sunday morning I would clean the entire kitchen because my roommates refused no matter how often I asked them verbally and how many notes I left in the kitchen,by the second quarter I had a breakdown over the kitchen. I know it doesn't seem like that big of a deal but, as someone who cooked frequently, every time I walked in the kitchen I died just a little more.
roommate tip: when you need alone time, clarify what kind of alone time. Do you want to get checked in on periodically? Are you mad and need time to cool off?
Why did I not find this Video sooner? Late last year I moved in with my boyfriend and his housemates, and oh my god I feel like the mother of the house trying to get them to do things. My boyfriend helps me but these particular housemates are some of the worst i've ever had. They leave dirty dishes for days on end, never buy cleaning supplies, trash bags or toilet paper. They eat our food and they never help with the general upkeep of the house. I am the only one to properly clean the toilet kitchen and living areas. It's starting to annoy my partner that I am forever complaining about them. And whenever we bring up these issues they are like yeah yeah i'll work on it. We are the ones on the lease and we are subletting to them. I tried to implement a cleaning roster and then I get facebook abused by my housemate for "trying to be the boss of the house" honestly I am just sick of their shit and would love a hand to keep the house and yard tidy. I can never bring myself to have friends or family over because the mess of the house is just embarrassing, More tips would be fantastic if you can steer me in that direction.
Next How To: go grocery shopping. How firm should a tomato be? Where can I find hollandaise sauce? How much ground beef makes two burgers? Is there a simple way to not do the tango with your cart at the checkout aisle?
Old school hippie here, understand we we real pro's when it came to communal living. Tip #1 understand that 1 hour a day will be spent doing stupid shit like chores, I'm not kidding, And you want to be a real hero, 5 mintues of work i dunno, windows. Tip #2 the money ain't from nowhere: ALL cash to the group must be stated clearly and honestly.
My roommate tip: Once in a while your rage with your roommate may overflow. On that night... have someplace else to sleep. I went to my friend's couch one floor down.
You wanna hear bad roommate stories? I had this roommate for about 5 months my sophomore year in college who was just...so awful. She knew no boundaries and would walk around our dorm room naked after showering, and she was grossly overweight. She slept all hours of the day and night and if I so much as coughed she would whine like a baby for several minutes. She dragged several random strangers into our room to play monopoly for hours and wouldn't let us leave. Once she asked if I would drive her to the city about and hour away to go to the monthly gallery crawl and I told her I had to work so she threw a fit and then, tears still streaming down her face went down two floors to the music dorms and asked several strangers if they would drive her. All of them of course said no and she was distraught for the whole weekend. Keep in mind that she: 1. owned a car and 2. received a monthly allowance for gas and food. Oh, and did I mention she was 29? A 29 year old grown-ass woman living in a hall full of 19-21 year olds. She was nuts.
Nowadays it seems people looking for roommates just want rent money and the roommate never there and to shut up. What I don't understand is that people think you can actually be roommates without discussing anything. Apparently it happens.. is every just on drugs and numbed out?
i'm like a dragon, except without all the comfy gold piles. i don't deal well w/ people or their things in my personal space. i also have this thing about cleanliness, and i air out the whole apartment every chance i get. i can't stand clutter. various unpleasant smells* (from cooking, from garbage that has not been thrown out for more than 24 hours, unwashed clothes, cheapass scented candles, some strong perfumes, body odor, etc.) and sights (dirty dishes, stains, etc.) make me physically ill. turning the AC on in the summer is a big no-no for me. parties are an even bigger no-no. some noises make me want to wreak havoc and break bones. and no pets, unless there is a yard. even then, _no_ toy dogs. *curiously, i don't mind the smell of cigarettes, although i'm not a smoker. i do mind a helluva lot of other smells though lol
As someone who has lived with a college in-room roommate for two years, I can attest that the same rules apply. You just need to be really on top of them because you have to follow them pretty much 24/7.
Truly interesting Video! I was always a failure in my life and did not know the reason! My friend gave me this "7 habits of ..." book by Covey. I read it many times and understood that Habits are very important in life. I took it seriously, so i started using "sevenhabits" mobile app by lokesh which was a tool to practice the 7 habits and it has helped me a lot! Now, I am more confident and have more energy and more focus!
![Roommate Rules [House Rules for Living With Strangers] 🏠](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/FFeLg9MZGyQ/mqdefault.jpg)
My tip: if something your roommate does a lot is seriously bothering you, bring it up as soon as possible. If you don't, there are two possible consequences: one is that it will just fester and breed resentment within you, and you'll be more likely to blow up; the other is that your roommate will feel really bad about the fact that they were doing something that bothered you for a long time, and will constantly be wondering if you secretly hate other things they do. If you have honest communications early and often, then you can resolve these issues in a healthy way without all the passive-aggression, paranoia and inevitable blow-ups.
My advice. Try to find roommates that you like as people. I've been living for a year with a roommate who, although he is a good person, does not get along with me at all. I find communication would be a lot better if we had day to day conversations, but we are so different we have nothing to talk about.
As long as they can pay the rent on time the rest can be worked out or managed. You just have to find someone who is responsible so you don't end up babysitting them lol. I had a roommate every week we would have a talk about something. Stress the hell out of me. finally I had enough and kick them out.
I am getting a roommate for the first time in like, 3 years, and the first thing we did was meet up at Starbucks and take turns saying all of our pet peeves from our last roommates just to see if we were on the same page - things like not leaving clothes in the washer/dryer for days, putting dishes in the dishwasher rather than just leaving them scattered about the apartment, etc. and it went really well.
That said, I'm still terrified.
Hi, all. Just a quick note.
I'm usually pretty active in the Comments section for our videos, particularly in the first few days after they post. Sadly, though, there was an unexpected death in my family this week, so I won't be taking part in the conversations here or on our Tumblr for a little while.
The good news, of course, is that you guys are always so wonderful and helpful to one another. I'm sure that will continue to be the case even if I'm not popping my head (and two cents) in this time around. I just didn't want y'all to think I was ignoring you.
I'll be back again as soon as I can. In the meantime, thanks so much for watching, and keep remembering to be awesome.
- Mike
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Hugs and best wishes through this difficult time.
Really sorry for your loss, Mike. I hope you and your family are OK in spite of it. Lots of love and blessings.
So sorry to hear that Mike! I hope you and your family are doing all right. Many e-hugs to you.
I'm sorry for your loss Mike. Hugs for you and your family. I hope everyone is allright despite the circumtances.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I'd recommend not using this video in a passive aggressive way with your roommate! :)
My tip: Just. Do. The. Dishes.
It doesn't take that much time if you do it as you go and saves a LOT of drama.
it is phenomenal how many people are clueless about dishes. For days, weeks.
Amen!!!
Housemates are the worst! I set the house rules after my partner (at the time) and housemate bought a cat without telling me because "you would have said no" well yeah, I'm allergic jerks.
Wow. That's some extremly passive-aggressive housemates .__.
i was reading the description and all i could think of was: "The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That poison?"
This may seem strange, but I found when I was an RA that roommates tend to be more harmonious when they din't share things like food and the grocery bill... it may make sense to share, but youd be surprised how upset people get over some one drinking the last of a soda, or having to go havsies on something only one of them eats...
My advice is that if your roommate is going through a tough situation -eg. their working hours are like death- do some nice things for them. :3 Make sure the house is clean and tidy, offer to take one of their chores on for a day, make dinner so they can have some when they get home from work. If your friends and you have an understanding with each other, they will repay you in the exact same way and you will also benefit from the cleanness/food.
One other thing to consider is setting some generals rules about having company. When I was in school I had roommates who would regularly bring over friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc unannounced. While I normally have no problem with this, it got a bit frustrating around exam time when I needed to study and there were people making noise all over the house. So check with your roommates ahead of time and see what their preferences are on having people over.
What excellent tips! Thank you for sharing them! :D
I have a tip as well, but it's more like emphasizing the "set the rules early on" one: Set the rules on BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS/SIGNIFICANT OTHERS early on. It's very unpleasant to waltz into the kitchen, in your pyjamas, only to bump into this bloke you'd never seen before.
I had the opposite experience - waltzed into my kitchen only to find a random guy I'd never met before wearing only underpants :P
Ack... I'm sorry for you. D:
Make a roommate agreement. (like Sheldon)
Though not AS confining. You don't need a Bowel Movement Schedule.
This is a good idea - I never thought of this. It would have saved a lot of arguments and resentment. Totally doing this with my next roommate.
I had a roommate during my first year of college, then for four years following I had a single room in a corridor, and then my last semester I lived in a townhouse as an RA with 5 other men (each our own room, shared living room, kitchen, and two full bathrooms). Now that I've graduated I've had a roommate and an apartment for about 6 months now.
Biggest tip: Establish your personality and expectations early. Each time I've failed to do this (including current scenario), someone tries to either take advantage of your vagueness, or trys to be the, "I wear the pants around here," role, regardless of all things. At that point, putting your foot down is your best approach, but do not, under any circumstances, UNLEASH THE BEAST! It might not end well.
My current roommate has been all push recently and it has been getting to me. Especially since I work 4x10 hour shifts Tuesday-Friday, and 2x12 hour shifts Saturday and Sunday, all during the evening and late night. I know normally I can seem pushy or aggressive; very affirmative tone, vocabulary, and direct/blunt for the sake of brevity and clarity, not for the sake of being a jerk. Because of this I took it easy for the first few months and now it I am being treated more as a doormat by my 3-year younger roommate rather than an equal.
Seriously, establish your personality and expectations early, otherwise you may find yourself in a situation where you're uncomfortable and feel trapped. That is bad.
your roommate does not need to be your friend. accept this early on and things will be a lot less awkward than if you're trying to befriend them and they want nothing to do with it. as long as they're courteous and respectful, they'll be an okay roommate.
My tips for getting along are honestly things parents tell their 5-year-olds, just beacuse I think it's honestly good advice for getting along with people.
Use your words. (People can't read your mind, and being passive-aggressive never solves anything.)
Treat others how you want to be treated. (Like Emma said, golden rule!)
Be polite. (Kind of falls under the golden rule thing, but it's good to make a point of it.)
Listen. (There is absolutely nothing better than a good listener. Don't just wait for your turn to speak, actually listen to and think about what they have to say. If you listen to them, they'll be much more likely to listen to you.)
I'm not going to say that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything, because that's impractical. You're going to have disagreements. Conflict is going to arise. The key is to be practical and reasonable, and not get nasty. Insults and playing the blame game never got anyone anywhere. Try to think of things from the other person's perspective, and focus on solving the problem rather than "winning" the argument. Also, agreeing to disagree is sometimes necessary. It's not pleasant, but sometimes it just has to happen.
Best of luck to people living with roommates for the first time! :)
1. Set the rules early on.
2. Status meetings.
3. Be consistent.
4. Be generous.
5. It's a SHARED apartment.
6. Keep communication open.
7. Prepare for moving out.
What about "Don't Forget to Adult?" Kinda like Don't Forget to be Awesome?
amen to that
Monthly meetings are INCREDIBLY important! Even weekly!
My roommate completely up and left (and took the internet with her), and I had no idea why. Left without a trace. Still paid her rent, though, but I think I just got lucky there. I'm pretty sure it was because the lines of communication were frayed. We were fantastic roommates in residence for the first year, but once we got an apartment, everything went down hill.
leave nice notes for your roommates all over the house! bake things together, or bake things and leave a not that says feel free! mutually procrastinate by talking about how frustrated you all are with the prof of the class you are all in! if only one person has a car, coordinate grocery runs so they turn into adventures! pick flowers from neighbours gardens (haha no..) to make the kitchen smell pretty! text each other to make sure everyone's okay when stressful things are happening and everyone is secluded in their rooms! share the perks of the "good" rooms, like the bathtub and the balcony! have late-night hallway politics-discussion pow wows that turn into debates about which treat Tim Hortons should bring back to their menu! be loud and obnoxious when everyone is in the mood, but quiet when it's time to do work! eat meals together every once in a while and catch up on life stories! MAKE CRAFTS! ... can you tell I love my roommates a lot... (and I wish I could live with them all the time but only one more week :()
I have had a slew of bad roommates so I highly recommend not only know how/if you can abandon ship but also WHEN to. I am a highly empathetic/sympathetic person so hindsight tells me I would have had a less rough time with some people if I had left earlier or left even before we signed the lease (aka ignoring red flags because I JUST NEED A PLACE TO LIVE). It is OKAY TO BACK OUT. Just be aware on how. If it's going to cost, start budgeting an emergency fund for that OH CRAP moment because IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO LEAVE AN UNHEALTHY ENVIRONMENT IN THE LONG RUN NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT MAY COST SHORT TERM.
My roommates and I make a google spreadsheet in which we enter the costs we have put in for the apartment - electric, TP, dish soap, etc. every couple of months we add it up and pay each other back accordingly.
This would have been such a good video to have back in uni when I lived with others, some nightmare some good, great work guys. I know you've done one about Laundry but can you do a general cleaning video? Or just some tips for living alone? I'm moving out totally alone for the first time soon and it feels so overwhelming.
"Awkwardness and vulnerability are often the price of admission to Make Things More Awesome-land" ... I need this needlepointed on a pillow plz.
Get everything in writing!
Do this, especially if you see real problems starting to come up. You might need it, for example, if you're living in a dorm and need to switch rooms (the RA will want/need to know why; "I don't like her" isn't a valid reason on its own). Or if you feel your safety is threatened in some way.
That said, keep your grievances private until needed: no badmouthing your roommate on the internet, or writing about it for a class. It will get back to said roommate, and the rest of the floor in your dorm, and there's a good chance any future roommates will hear about it too if they've done minimal research.
I live with 5 other people in a 7 bedroom house (there have been points when 8-9 people have lived here). Two are a married couple with an almost 2 year old and one roommate has his 4 year old every other weekend. It’s a daily struggle trying to get everyone to do their fair share of cleaning and maintain the dish schedule.
The first of three issues at the moment is that there are two living rooms, but a couple people tend to make the living rooms their designated space and not everyone feels welcome sitting and watching TV or reading in the living room. This makes me feel extremely isolated to my room and I’m really depressed. I have no power or control in this living situation and I cannot afford to move out. I don’t know what to do. It’s been brought up multiple times but it still happens. The second issue is one roommate has a broken down car in the yard that they will not take care of. There are weeds growing around it and it looks really trashy. The third issue is one of the married couple’s dogs (I have a dog, they have two dogs, and another roommate has two cats) needs to see a vet ASAP because his fur is matted all over and he’s covered in scabs. I constantly find him rubbing himself bald on things because he is so itchy, but they won’t take him to a vet no matter how many of us mention it. He literally looks like he’s going to die.
So I am very lucky in having amazing housemates I moved in with two of my close friends so we all get along really well. The best thing to do is be considerate and open. Also use your words.
My rule 1: (if you can) Know who you are living with and what you are getting yourself in for in that living situation.
Your bestie may not be the perfect room mate so before you sign anything be open with what each of you are like to live with. An introvert and an extrovert living together isn't going to make a pleasant household; neither is some one who is a clean freak or someone who is really messy.
This really only applies if you have a choice with who you are living with eg in Collage but it is good to have that dialogue. Best way to start that convo is to be open about what you are like and see if they can live with it and then they will be more inclined to do the same. We all have our good and bad sides; let them know what you are like and they will (hopefully) do the same!
p.s. it is much better to say 'no I don't want to live with you' now and salvage a friendship because if you don't you could potentially lose a friend.
my old roommate was the worst about paying bills and remembering to feed HER dog. on the dog front, I would often get texts in the middle of the day when my roommate had been at work for hours asking if I could take lunch to feed the dog....
on the bills front, the utility bills were in my name so I always paid them on time if she had given me her half or not. 9/12 months she would pay me 2 weeks late and then wonder why the next bill would come so soon and then say "didn't I just pay you?" It was awful
"Awkwardness and vulnerability are often the price of admission to 'make things more awesome' land" - Wise Words! This is a lesson I know is true but I'm still trying to learn. Well put.
Changing the TP before it runs out is just wasteful. I would not appreciate it if my roommate did that.
My experience is mostly different, I've rented a room when I first moved out "on my own"...so I came into someone else's home and knew that there would be rules ect. All bills were in her name, so I knew she would pay them. I would be moving out eventually, and she would continue to live there...so she needed power ect to remain on.
When I got my own place I chose to rent out a room to make ends meet. If your spouse/child free, its really a great money saver, paying mortgage on a single income can be hard!
Best advice I have is, know your market area...don't try to charge more then the area will support. Also, instead of having a rent and utilities, get on equal pay for as many of your bills as possible and then just charge a set amount in addition to what you were going to charge for rent, that way they only have one amount to worry about and it covers everything.
Above all else, have a written contract. You want to like everyone that comes into your life, but I've had 2 horrible roommate experiences that practically drowned out the 5 other great experiences. Drunk opposite gendered roommate wandering around the house naked urinating on the wall because they were unable to realize they weren't in their bathroom. *shudder* So glad to see the last of that one!
Passive aggression just causes everyone to be tense and/or angry. If you need to complain, do it calmly with no accusatory, blaming, or insulting words.
Great advice! Especially all the little things like who buys dustbin bags and clingfilm and pointless stuff like that.
Roommate advice from someone who's had about 7 of them in the last ten years: Unless you already are before you move in, don't be Facebook friends while you're still living together. You already share so much and are in each other's space in person, leave this one area of privacy. When trying to find a roommate, ALWAYS meet a potential roommate in a public place and NOT at your apartment - best place is a coffee shop. Talk to them for a while, and have a list of personality questions that will give you a sense of who they are, and answer any of their questions about the apartment there so you aren't bringing every single person who's interested to your apartment, only the ones you think might work. DON'T be passive aggressive, if something is bothering you, suck it up and tell them because odds are they don't even realize they're doing something that's bothering you. And the best advice I can give is do NOT move in with a friend. The roommate situation tends to be temporary, and if it ends badly (as it can a lot of times - like losing a job and having to move home and leaving the other person hanging, or one of you moving out because it's not working out), it kills your friendship. It's easier to create a friendship with someone new in the roommate parameters than it is shift from friends to roommates.
Good housemates make ALL the difference. I've been living in the same six-room student house for four years and the differences between years are stunning. The difference between a gross kitchen and shower or a decent kitchen and shower is in the people using them.
Great tips for any Uni student, can't wait to apply these.
A thought to add: it's okay to ask for proof of payment of bills. Even if you're living with friends. Trusting that the bills get paid is how I woke up one day and the lights wouldn't turn on and there was a note on the door from the Utility company.
Another thought: often it's easier to live with someone you're acquainted with rather than a close friend. It's easier to keep it like a business relationship, and less is at stake.
Last thought: I lived in a place with two bedrooms and two and a half bathrooms with roommates. Rent happened to be cheap because of the terrible neighborhood but it makes it so easy when you're not fighting over taking a shower, worrying about sharing cleaning duties of the bathroom. We had a little powder room with just a sink and toilet for guests so no one had to see our private bathrooms. If you can afford it, it's a great way to do roommates.
Nice timing. Moving in with new housemates Friday!
Roommate expectations can be helpful, but if roommates have incompatible lifestyles, it's always going to be a challenge. It can be done, but only with a lot of effort and energy spent by both parties.
How should someone go about getting a roommate? Is it a good idea to live with a friend? What about living with a relative (sibling, cousin, etc). Is it better to have a roommate that you have no prior relationship with? What about living with someone of the opposite sex?
So, I've run the gambit of these options, and here is what I have to say. Mind you it's all personal opinion, and not necessarily going to work for everyone.
You can get a roomie almost any way you like, there are websites for them, friends of friends, college campus might have posters advertising rooms for rent, or even at work (Depending on how out of the way it is or stable it is)
Any good roomie WILL interview you and go over basic ground rules before breaking out any papers for signage. You are a stranger to them, so meeting you in their own home may sound like a recipe for a bad horror film. If you're scared, don't be afraid to ask to meet in a public place first (They are a stranger to you too after all). Or ask if you can take along a friend. :3
This process is important, if you guys don't hit it off at least a little bit, I'd recommend you move along. It means that when you fight you will have no common ground to mend the wound with; making the living situation that much more awkward. Even if you say you're sorry and promise to correct whatever it is, if you don't talk outside of those interactions it will only get worse. If you only ever critique someone or business like feedback, with no positive or fun times to balance it out, you will end up hating them, no matter how pleasant they first appeared, or are.
However you can skip that process if you'd like to live with a friend. :D
YOU WILL STILL FIGHT.
It's the makeup afterwords that makes you an adult. Do not be scared to be wrong, and do not worry about saying you're sorry. Because you're friends it makes it a little easier, but do make sure that you chose what friend you room with carefully. I'd recommend, if possible, trying it out for a week or two if you're not sure (Spend the night at their place, or at yours. A hotel would be best though, neutral ground as it where.). However, I find that generally you know what friends you can live with and what friends you'd kindly murder in their sleep after a few days.
On living with someone of the opposite sex, I find that so long as you can be an adult about it, there is nothing to fear. After all, you are an adult now. It's not like someone's plumbing is threatening to your purity. There is no reason not to room with someone of the opposite sex, as long as you both respect eachother. Which, as roomies, if you didn't anyway, you'd be in trouble.
That means, ladies, CLEAN YOUR RESTROOM! (To be perfectly clear, I mean feminine products) and gentlemen CLEAN YOUR SPACE. ( keep common areas man-cave free.)
As a woman I've found that living with my male friends is actually a lot easier than living with any female friends, acquaintances, strangers ect.
But again, the most important part about co-ed living: BE RESPECTFUL OF YOUR ROOMIE. Not that it isn't a big rule in general when rooming with someone, but it is extra important when you guys aren't the same gender. Respect them, respect their bodies, respect their space bubble.
No notes seem like a good idea until you get a ghost roommate. (You never actually see them, just stuff gets moved and used up).
My roommate is my sister! Because she is working so much of the time I do most of the household stuff. In return she let's me decorate the apartment how I want! Huzzah!
I had a housemate in Uni come home one day with a puppy (without consulting anyone first). She was a nursing student, so she used to leave the house at 5:30am and put the dog outside, where he proceeded to loudly bark and whine until myself or my other housemate caved and let him back inside. Then he proceeded to destroy everything inside the house. We ended up shutting him inside his owner's room, and then she got REALLY mad at us when he chewed her stuff.
My uni housemate did something similar to me. The dog hair used to get EVERYWHERE and she would expect me to hover up after it. Which I refused to do because it wasn't my dog and I wasn't consulted. It didn't go down well.
She also negotiated her contract so that she could have a guinea pig. By the time we moved out, she had gerbils, two hamsters, a chinchilla and degus. It used to really annoy me because she was really fussy about cleaning but would leave their poop all over the bathroom floor when she was cleaning out their cages.
ninninikitty101 Urgh, that's the worst! Our house technically wasn't even allowed pets. My other housemate (who was and continues to be awesome - also totally a bridesmaid at my wedding in December - 7 years after moving out, so some of these stories have happy endings) had a little miniature collie who she had to hide when we had inspections, but otherwise was utterly well behaved, didn't smell and left no trace of 'dog' around the house. The contrast between that little angel and the evil whiney chewy devil dog.... was noticeable.
Ugh, I bet. Did she even try and train the devil dog?
Also congratulations for getting married. :)
It was just the fact that she used to complain about how inconsiderate our previous housemates were (They were possibly the worst housemates I've ever had. Never cleaned, had a party the night before exams etc.) yet she behaved as if the house was her house and I was just a lodger. I did consider getting a python to make a point though.
ninninikitty101 Nope, no training. She didn't have time to take care of him (which annoys me about pet owners in general). Thanks :D
You should've got a python and started feeding it things the shape of her pets and hiding her pets. Hehehe...
mlemleh In my experience most people in the 18-24 age range are not yet responsible enough to take care of both themselves and an animal, especially a puppy. They're a lot more work than a lot of people realize. It's great that your other housemate seems to be an exception though. I had a housemate who took in a kitten while I lived with her, and the animal ended up well socialized and wonderfully behaved. But most of my peers who have animals (especially young ones that they were fully responsible for training) also have the terrible behavior problems that come with improperly training (or just not training) them.
My advice on roommates: Learn How to Say No. If they ask you nicely if you could empty the dishwasher, don't just reflexively say yes and then reconsider after they've gone when you realize what a rush you're in. Then you're in a bind: you don't want to come off as passive aggressive by not doing what you said you'd do, but now you're feeling like a pushover because you just agree to whatever your roommate asks. Just learn to say no, it makes things way easier.
Peas and Queues by Sandi Toksvig had great advice on sharing a space. And all other politeness things. And it's hilarious
Great video and great timing since I'm looking at finding roommates for uni next yeat at the moment :)
I've heard the advice to not live with your friends, and I think that can be good advice; however, I also think it's easier to be a good roommate when you genuinely care about your roommate's happiness, which is more difficult when your roommate isn't your friend.
I see where you are coming from however it is probably best not to live with a very close friend (unless both of you are exactly alike) the top things that housemates fight about is bills, the trash and the washing up. It is not easy to go from fighting to being friendly with someone suddenly. Yes, you will understand each other more than strangers will but living with your best friend if not like it is on 'Friends'. But then again it depends on each person and the friendship itself.
I think it's fine so long as you know each other well, and know you can spend extended amounts of time together and be fine. Personally, I spent the last year rooming with a good friend of mine. We've known each other since we were four, but hadn't seen each other much over the past few years, so over the course of living together, I found that we'd both changed a bit and it did create some conflicts. We're still friends and still enjoy each other's company, but I don't think we should room together again. Basically what I'm getting at is to be sure you've spent long periods of time with the person recently so you have a good idea of what you're getting into. And keep in mind that even if you move in with a stranger, it's still totally possible to grow to car about each other and become friends over time.
I am curious why you use that high camera angle (like at 2:45 .) It doesn't really seem to have any effect other than being an odd angle. Is it just to have a different angle when shooting in a limited space, or is there another reason?
Probably just visual interest. yaaay art
Though it may seem sort of obvious, if you have a roommate who is not doing certain things (or is doing certain things that you think are unacceptable) DO NOT just assume they'll figure it out on their own. Sometimes you have to confront them about it and let them know
In our place, we split groceries evenly. The rule for the fridge is No Name, Fair Game. If you eat something with someone else's name in it, bad plan, Stan. If you don't put your name on your food, someone else is free to eat it. We all have a mutual understanding of this, it works well.
you have a lovely smile
Financial-getalong-tip:
Open a shared google sheet or excel sheet in a shared folder and keep track of house expenses made by each of you. It makes deciding who pays the next bill much easier.
Your catchphrase is this. "Your bubblegum is ready."
The generosity thing: YES! So important! Also not eating peoples food. Nothing pisses people off like eating their food...
My very first roommate, kept the radiator off during a freakin minus 20 degrees time. Ugh I froze so much. And then we agreed to keep the radiator on at a certain level. She freakin did not hold her end of the deal. Grocery and cooking were already separated. Room definitely separated. Bathroom was cleaned by her mostly. But radiator was annoying. And the most annoying was, the night before she left, she had to cover herself with thinner sheets. SHE FREAKIN OPENED THE RADIATOR THAT NIGHT TO FULL. Like wth??? So she was basically smart enough to warm herself but stupid to keep herself cool. All she had to do was to reduce one piece of sheet so that she wouldn't be hot and i wouldn't be cold. She said she did not care that she did that way back at home as well. Ugh she was older than me yet very annoying. I am glad she went away and now I am with a very very good roomie (as everyone we both have our soft spots, and we both are careful abt not pushing those spots) sorry to vent...
Emma, when you were talking about your catchphrase, I got a distinct Liz Lemon vibe! Also, you are lovely.
My tip: if you have a significant other that does not live with you, don't let them stay over at yours every single night. Your roommate may say that they are cool with it and not verbally object, but they don;t want to constantly be the third wheel in their own home. Also if the SO isn't paying rent/bills/food costs, but is constantly over using those things, it's kind of rude. Having the conversation with your roommate and deciding a cap of nights allowed (say 3 max a week) can do WONDERS for the roommate relationship. Trust me.
So far I only have one roommate story, it was my first dormmate in college:
He was a student from Japan by the name of Tak, short for Takuma Niki. Unfortunately, we didn't really get on well. There was almost no communication because English wasn't exactly his first language and at the same time my only language, so really it was like living alone except worse because you have to take the other person's comfort into account. Over all it was just a really uncomfortable and awkward year for presumably both of us but at least me.
DO YOUR DISHES!!! I had roommates who would dirty dishes, not wash them right away, and then forget about them until the sink was completely full.
plan a time to clean at the same time. many hands make light work, misery loves company etc.
thankyou for your tips xx
Catch phrase idea: Keep Calm and Adult On. True, it's a bit trite, but why not?
I've had some crazyish roommates and I would definitely say that the best way to work things out is let them know what is and isn't ok.
is the end screen new? I like it :)
The problem is, now anyone who attempts to come to any sort of agreement about chores, noise, bills etc, automatically gets accused of being "Sheldon".
Work out a food system early on. Some people do well with communal food, while others do better just shopping for themselves. My roommates and I all shop for ourselves and label our food with colored dot stickers.
I do have a problem with my roommate at the moment. She wakes up very very easily in the night, so whenever I go for a pee or grab a sandwich in the kitchen, she wakes up. Her headaches are worse in the morning when she wakes up during the night. She keeps asking me to keep quiet all the time, and I am trying to do the best I can, but she still wakes up every time I'm there. I already promised to stuff some food in my room around 23h so at least she won't hear noises when I want to get some food. But brushing teeth, I have to do that in the kitchen. I think I'm already getting pretty far in this, pleasing her... Anyone? I'm desperate for advice.
I hope next week is going to be about living alone.
I left my roommate because I saw her true colors when our coworker expressed emotional pain. She was SO insensitive. My coworker (let's call him Paul) is on the spectrum and doesn't really have a great filter. He's said some ✌"inappropriate"✌ things, but never intentionally. He's actually a really conscientious guy. He just makes mistakes in social situations, that's all. I think most of the crew have been a bit unfair to him. Even exclusive. They're college students and they have fun with each other, but they don't really include him in. They have shown some signs of annoyance or "dislike" (I say loosely) toward him. And then one day, I overheard the chef speaking firmly with Paul, not knowing I was nearby. She told Paul--who was always outgoing and tactile at work--that he shouldn't touch coworkers anymore and that he can only talk about work or school. Paul _never_ meant to discomfort anyone. He expressed his pain to me and my ex-roommate; said he hated discomforting and/or hurting people, and perhaps even himself at this point. He even cried a bit. Now, I had lost my voice, so I couldn't say anything to make him feel better; the best I could do was pat his shoulder. I noticed my ex-roommate staring emotionlessly at him...as if she didn't care. I gestured toward him when he wasn't looking, and mouthed "say something," and she mouthed, "Like what?"
When Paul left, I confronted my roommate (who happened to be able to read lips) for not trying to make a hurting Paul feel better. She said, "Well, what was I supposed to tell him? That it isn't true? That he isn't a problem in social situations? That he hasn't said stupid things to make a bad impression on people? On my first day at his job, he actually talked about a man's right to hit women for self-defense. That is an inappropriate and disturbing thing to say, especially at work. Crying or not, I'm not gonna lie to make him feel better. Everything he said was actually right. The truth is the truth. That's all he was crying over. I can't ease his pain from *_that._* He has no excuse for his inappropriate behavior and filter issues. He needs to work on it. So by all means, tell me what I was supposed to say to him, because the hard truth was all there was." And _that_ is why I moved out of the apartment, temporarily moved back in with my parents, and got a new place to myself. The truth is not always worth it, and neither is being right.
It's been 6 months. I demand my catchphrase.
I'd like to see a vid about how to FIND a roommate!
The only things that bother be are loudness and food sharing (I’m fine if I do all the house work, just don’t make loud noise or eat my food lol)
I may actually use some of those tips with my new roommate. They seem pretty legit.
Why would anyone change toilet paper before the roll is empty!?
Planning is everything !
I have a problem with my roommates that I don't know how to solve.. I live with five other people and even though everyone has their own compartment in the fridge and on the groceries shelf, someone keeps stealing my food. I've tried to talk to them but of course they all deny it, no one's done anything at all.. I started keeping some stuff locked away in my room, but that's not possible for the refridgerated things, so I really don't know what to do...
Can you buy a small fridge and keep it in your room ? choose wisely, some of these fridges can do a lot of noise !
My tip: CLEAN THE KITCHEN. Dear god just please clean your kitchen. That includes the stove and all of your pots and pans. Generally speaking any shared space should be kept clean.
I lived in an apartment where every Sunday morning I would clean the entire kitchen because my roommates refused no matter how often I asked them verbally and how many notes I left in the kitchen,by the second quarter I had a breakdown over the kitchen. I know it doesn't seem like that big of a deal but, as someone who cooked frequently, every time I walked in the kitchen I died just a little more.
roommate tip: when you need alone time, clarify what kind of alone time. Do you want to get checked in on periodically? Are you mad and need time to cool off?
my freshman year roommate would wait until I was asleep and then make popcorn in the microwave which was in our dorm room right by my bed.
Don't know if anyone will see this or even care, but what about ending with something funny like "Grow up"?
Why did I not find this Video sooner? Late last year I moved in with my boyfriend and his housemates, and oh my god I feel like the mother of the house trying to get them to do things. My boyfriend helps me but these particular housemates are some of the worst i've ever had. They leave dirty dishes for days on end, never buy cleaning supplies, trash bags or toilet paper. They eat our food and they never help with the general upkeep of the house. I am the only one to properly clean the toilet kitchen and living areas. It's starting to annoy my partner that I am forever complaining about them. And whenever we bring up these issues they are like yeah yeah i'll work on it. We are the ones on the lease and we are subletting to them. I tried to implement a cleaning roster and then I get facebook abused by my housemate for "trying to be the boss of the house" honestly I am just sick of their shit and would love a hand to keep the house and yard tidy. I can never bring myself to have friends or family over because the mess of the house is just embarrassing, More tips would be fantastic if you can steer me in that direction.
Next How To: go grocery shopping. How firm should a tomato be? Where can I find hollandaise sauce? How much ground beef makes two burgers? Is there a simple way to not do the tango with your cart at the checkout aisle?
Old school hippie here, understand we we real pro's when it came to communal living. Tip #1 understand that 1 hour a day will be spent doing stupid shit like chores, I'm not kidding, And you want to be a real hero, 5 mintues of work i dunno, windows. Tip #2 the money ain't from nowhere: ALL cash to the group must be stated clearly and honestly.
My roommate tip: Once in a while your rage with your roommate may overflow. On that night... have someplace else to sleep. I went to my friend's couch one floor down.
It would be great to do a video about moving in with your boyfriend/girlfriend!
You wanna hear bad roommate stories? I had this roommate for about 5 months my sophomore year in college who was just...so awful. She knew no boundaries and would walk around our dorm room naked after showering, and she was grossly overweight. She slept all hours of the day and night and if I so much as coughed she would whine like a baby for several minutes. She dragged several random strangers into our room to play monopoly for hours and wouldn't let us leave. Once she asked if I would drive her to the city about and hour away to go to the monthly gallery crawl and I told her I had to work so she threw a fit and then, tears still streaming down her face went down two floors to the music dorms and asked several strangers if they would drive her. All of them of course said no and she was distraught for the whole weekend. Keep in mind that she: 1. owned a car and 2. received a monthly allowance for gas and food. Oh, and did I mention she was 29? A 29 year old grown-ass woman living in a hall full of 19-21 year olds. She was nuts.
Nowadays it seems people looking for roommates just want rent money and the roommate never there and to shut up. What I don't understand is that people think you can actually be roommates without discussing anything. Apparently it happens.. is every just on drugs and numbed out?
Dem camera angles
Check your schedules. Make sure you're aware if one of you will be awake while the other one is asleep.
i'm like a dragon, except without all the comfy gold piles. i don't deal well w/ people or their things in my personal space. i also have this thing about cleanliness, and i air out the whole apartment every chance i get. i can't stand clutter. various unpleasant smells* (from cooking, from garbage that has not been thrown out for more than 24 hours, unwashed clothes, cheapass scented candles, some strong perfumes, body odor, etc.) and sights (dirty dishes, stains, etc.) make me physically ill.
turning the AC on in the summer is a big no-no for me. parties are an even bigger no-no. some noises make me want to wreak havoc and break bones. and no pets, unless there is a yard. even then, _no_ toy dogs.
*curiously, i don't mind the smell of cigarettes, although i'm not a smoker. i do mind a helluva lot of other smells though lol
hey I have a question about roommates and furry roommate (I.e pets) how do u deal with your roommate and pets?
Can we have a "How to Road Trip?"
Catchphrase idea: Go forth and adult!
What about college roommates? You're in a lot closer quarters and have different situations
As someone who has lived with a college in-room roommate for two years, I can attest that the same rules apply. You just need to be really on top of them because you have to follow them pretty much 24/7.
I wish I had watched this months ago.
Sorry if you hate your roommates. I have no advice but I can definitely sympathise.
My roommate whines about everything. He is a square a nerd. I tried getting him high so he can chill out but he won't even do that.
Maybe you are the cause of his " whines " !
Happily High roommates
Truly interesting Video!
I was always a failure in my life and did not know the reason!
My friend gave me this "7 habits of ..." book by Covey. I read it many times and understood that Habits are very important in life.
I took it seriously, so i started using "sevenhabits" mobile app by lokesh which was a tool to practice the 7 habits and it has helped me a lot!
Now, I am more confident and have more energy and more focus!
Don't have a roommate. It's just not worth it.
The catch phrase should be, "We still don't have a catch phrase".