@@UniveliBanah Think about this in a natural perspective with a house. If the foundation of your house cracking under you , you are going to go that root cause, start from there, rebuild replacing yet removing at the same time to make it sturdier than ever before.
Woohoo!!! Wonderful sis! Well done! So delightful to see and hear rare virtuous sisters such as (myself) speaking up about abstaining from fornication, adultery, etc and not settling for the baby mama lifestyle. Once in your prime age its even easier to keep it, there's no peer pressure like in elementary, high school and college. There are so many women that wish they still had theres, its a blessing plus rare holy gift of beauty for a virtuous queenly bride to still have it to give to her future kingly husband. "Remaining (chaste) ...pure, holy, & virtuous in obedience keeps me smiling without a FROWN, knowing no man can ever bad talk me & put me DOWN, every time I turn around I get another rare jewel in my CROWN👑. The most high is faithful!" "But for real precious gemstones my Abba covers me in them, I am and forever will always be a royal diadem in His hand." Isaiah 62:3❤️
Can someone wipe this permanent smile off of my face?! I love seeing men of color producing positive, uplifting and fruitful content! Be well brothers.
Yes, girl that's what I'm talking about I love to sit down with an intelligent bro and have a deep conversation LOOVVVEEE IT yes I do. The mind is deep got to keep up lol
if are ok with sex before marriage you seeking the lord with HALFNESS. After watching at least 5 videos on this channel, ive concluded, its just like steffan and the rest, THIS WHOLE CHANNEL SEEKING THE LORD HALF BAKED AND WITH HALFNESS, ill much rather listen to Process Life channel
Women pursuing men while the man is in “intensive care”. Huge problem!! My husband cheated with multiple women over the course of our marriage and had no problem finding a new relationship with a woman while going thru our 3 year divorce. Yes, she dated my husband throughout the entire divorce process . No time to heal! Women want to believe they can heal a man. Meanwhile, he will take out all of his pain on the new woman and delay his true healing. I knew I could not date anyone due to the level of trauma I experience in that toxic marriage. I found my healing through self love. Thank you.
Always remember, you are strong and never feel bad about what he did to you. Hold your head up and continue to be that beautiful woman God intended you to be.
I identify with Mr. Barnett and I'm a woman. My mother told me there is a way to argue and express yourself, and once you go "below the belt", then we're having a whole different conversation now and not the original conversation. Safe spaces are SO important! This was good.
My first time listening and I enjoyed it. I was about to get married and I had a mental break down at the alter. It was the most embarrassing day of my life on both sides. I wish I knew that I needed healing before I got in a relationship with her. Because I broke down and since then I been having mental health issues. I been in mental facilities and near suicide attempts. Men we need healing before we pursue any relationships. I'm loving this podcast thanks. Keep me in prayer please because this is the hardest season of my life
@@shellylong2158 That is a great point. I would agree with you in that is what most people do. You have to be really secure in your identity to be vulnerable. It is impossible to have a secure identity when you tie it to temporal things- which is the American way of life.
He went back to 7th grade. Ladies this show how pain can run deep into a person past. As a Christian We definitely need to have more transparency about sex and relationships and dealing with your own desires male/females. Take the time to heal singleness can really be a blessing. Passing this information along.
Good interview. Why can't more good women and men run into each other? Both sides have the same issue with finding good people to be in relationships with. It is important to be with a man that is emotionally healthy and mature.
I'm 33 and while I know these men exist it still feels like the sighting of a rare or threatened animal species lol Jokes aside I look forward to when God allows my future husband and I to meet. Two whole individuals who have put in the work (beforehand and ongoing) and have the maturity (emotional, mental, spiritual) to prove it
Been celibiate for 2 years.....being celibate has absolutely changed my life for the better. This definitely makes dating easier & harder. I saw this video in my recommended. I will never forget I was "talking" to a guy and I told me I am not having sex until marriage and I really tried to tell him the benfits of not having sex. This man literally said to me i can't do that, I said bet I wish you the best of luck i have to stand strong in my values.
aGREE! It makes dating so much easier. You get rid of the bad ones quicker. They are not willing to wait or even entertain the idea of dating a celibate woman
I enjoyed this podcast so much. Ladies, a kind advice please seek God first, the more you know God, more you will know yourself. Also it's impossible to journey with a man if you don't understand the psychology of men. Let's thrive to be what God want us to be in a man's life which is a "helpmeet". Praying that this pandemic will be used to heal us so we can start building legacy and expand God's Kingdom.
It’s hard to find a man that will express themselves to you. I would want a man to express themselves to me. It’s like pulling teeth. No way would I shut a man down for being transparent.... being with a man who doesn’t open up is like talking to a brick wall!!!
That's why it's so important to ask yourself is this the Mate really for me. Once they express who they are. Do they turn Flighty because they don't want to deal with the real inner you.
But then with some women they look at a man being too sensitive or too emotional when you do open up to women like it’s sad man.. you can’t win for anything
Stephen Gibbs a woman who genuinely wants to get to know you won’t mind you being transparent. The woman won’t go around telling her friends how you opened up and did this and that because she respects you and the relationship.
Healing is a must. Two broken people can't love each other the way that God intended. Men and women break each other in ways that are often hard to mend. We need to heal ourselves before we can show up as the adult needed for healthy relationships.
This man sounds like the male version of me…. Every ex was my project to save my dad…. And I couldn’t stop until I saved one but it always crumbled and I ended up having to face the flaws of my father all over again….. sheesh…. It gets deep man ‼️
What’s the pattern you see in the people you date? “I was trying to rescue my mom.” **deep breath** Because that was a deep statement. We go through relationships trying to right wrongs that don’t belong to us. My God. 🙏🏾
@Mesia- Yep, this mortal experience is far deeper than we realize. This guy's been a Counselor for only moments, but has learned so diligently and brought much of his experience to 'the feet of the Savior' for guidance, translation, and clarity. What a student; what a warrior! Pensive and humble, a natural healer is he. I'm a woman and he is certainly lifting me. Go Jay! Reign, you shall. 🤍, MJ
She only gave you "content for your calling." You are now a therapist who have gone thru hurt, betrayal and lies from someone once close to you...came out on the other side whole without retaliation. You are able to truly lead your clients based on real life experiences and not on philosophy alone.
God will use all our ashes for His glory and turn something beautiful out of them. But it was not His desire for us to be in ashes. We must first understand those were the choices we made. Like he said, he needs to do more research and discovery phase before giving a woman his whole heart.
I like your adopted son Armani, it's refreshing...to hear that. I pray he does find a virgin wife and they can discover together without pressure of memories of the past. Shout out to all the brothers waiting, virgins still and choosing to wait again.
“When you tell someone you “love” them, you’re setting a standard for how you’re going to operate with them.” Expressing verbally what you feel inside, and walking in that expression.
This is so attractive to me. Seeing a man talk about being vulnerable. And how he regain his confidence. And not letting his pride keep him from sharing like this. I wish the young lady came on the show for this episode. Man, this is a great show guys.
I love when my Husband and Brothers get together and have "man talk".I listen sometimes to learn how to be more helpful but I never bring up anything or ask questions when they allow me in their space.I jus feel blessed because of the trust they have to talk in front of me.❤
This was a much needed interview. Please do more of these. We need to hear about the emotional parts of black men, as well as what great, saved men want in women.
I will say this i am 25 years old graduate school student. The pandemic was a blessing in disguise because it allowed me to sit back and be still. Not going to lie i am a long term relationship kind of girl but I am so happy this time has really allowed me to find a hobby which is doing nails. My parents been married for 24 years so I LOVE love and want to be a wife in the future. I definitely want and will wait to be in a relationship until my ph.D program. I have healed some trauma with my family during this pandemic. It was so tough at first because I hate crying but the healing needed to be done. I always say I want a man who had qualities like my dad. God fearing, family oriented, protective, provider and traditional. I value traditional gender roles. When I become a parent I definitely will be very transparent with my kids about everything.
Tell Jay NOT TO DATE! His relationship with Abba is so solid, that if he can be patient, Abba will bring wifey right to him and he won't have to sift through women to 'find' her.
I love everything about this conversation. His openness and vulnerability is commendable. I can tell he’s a genuine man. I pray he finds a woman who will genuinely love him and be his safe space 🙏🏾 To any woman reading this, I learned the hard way the power that negative words can have on a man. They can emotionally kill him. While this is not an excuse, it almost always stems from some unresolved hurt. And it often takes losing something or someone to realize this. I encourage women to search themselves and begin addressing those issues now, so you don’t take it out on a man who is trying his best to love you. On the other hand, if you are with a man who is hurting you, triggering that unresolved pain and bringing this type of behavior out you, get out of that relationship ASAP. You need to be in a relationship that cultivates healing, not add to your trauma. Teenage me made a vow that anyone who hurts me, I would hurt them back but worse. 35 year old me made a new vow, that there’s nothing anybody can do to that take me back to a place that I fought hard to be freed from. My future husband deserves a healed and whole wife who will speak LIFE into him, not death. Keywords: HEALED and WHOLE. Ladies, heal and become whole. To any man reading this, I’m sorry on behalf of myself and any other woman that have made you feel anything less than the King God called you to be.
Deep message "cultivate healing, not add to trauma" this should be everyone's desire to add to any relationship whether its friendship or intimate. Thanks for sharing your message.
Ti is such a breath of fresh air to see black men being open, vulnerable, and honest in their feelings. I wish more black men would release their hurt so that they can heal.
My husband said he knew first date he would marry me. 8 months later it was a wrapped. 17 years later were still here. We love each other I think loving a person is not this googly eyed stuff we see on TV it's harder than that it raw and real.
I just broke up with my bf, after a year, but I know it's not the end. This encourages me that God's promise will come to pass, no mater how it looks now.
Man, it was so many gems but what stood out to me the most is recognizing a man’s vulnerability and knowing what to do with it. Understanding that I’m supposed to be creating a safe haven for him, and not mishandling that trust. Yes, men are placed in a category where they are supposed to be tough, providers, protectors and society has really placed a standard on the man to where he shouldn’t be so vulnerable but with that, we have a lot of damaged men. We forget they are human, not robots or machines. There’s a lot going on in the world, and a man need his woman as a safe haven. That doesn’t mean tests and arguments won’t happen, but it does mean that respect and boundaries should still be there. I can’t create a safe haven, when all I’m doing is intentionally hurting with words. Using his vulnerability against him. Ultimately, that’s not love. That’s self. Thank you so much for all of this!
I don't know how this video popped up in my recommendations, but I'm glad it did. Men absolutely need a safe space to express their emotions. This was an awesome video! I'm also a therapist and going through my healing process as well. I am going through a divorce and have decided to spend this time with God and myself. I am rediscovering who I am and loving every minute of it.💕 Thanks so much for this video and tell Jay thanks for using my name "Tasha" in his example! 🤣🤣🤣
I really loved this episode, men in general don’t show this side. It’s so good to experience this side of a man: expressive, vulnerable, Godly, and authentic.
The vulnerability expressed by this man is refreshing.....and attractive. 😘 These conversations need to had much more often. I pray my future husband is as emotionally evolved and self aware as Jay. And I equally pray that I properly receive and allow him a safe space in me to share that vulnerability.
From 38:00 on, this woman said "she fell out of love wit him" just to be hurtful AFTER he was THERE WITH her through a tumultuous time. So, this woman had THIS man that honored and loved her freely. NOW he is completely guarded and may not be that open again. What about a woman like me who would appreciate and honor this type of man to the fullest??
PTSD is real if you come from a traumatic relationship. I literally had PTSD after a relationship years ago I had with someone on and off for 5 years and on top of that because I only dated black men that relationship had me not liking black men at all. I realized I had been hurt by every man who entered my life and that last one just made me go back into a serious depression because he was my friend first and knew all my darkest secrets and then later turned into exactly what I was hurt by from my past. But about 2 years ago, I realized Nope that was satan trying to get me to hate my Beautiful Black Kings and I had to think about the patterns in my life and realize that it all stemmed from my relationship with my father. I was attracting men like him. It took for my dad to pass away to understand that people are a product of their parents/ childhood because my dad didn't have a good father, so how could he be a good father? I actually prayed to God to forgive my dad and I repented for my dad's sins and asked God to have mercy on his soul. I also asked God to forgive me for not seeing my value and for those who hurt me, because they were only treating me how they probably were raised and treated or from a bad relationship. I forgave them and tried to mend those relationships, because I too allowed for things to happen versus just walking away. One guy I dated is married now with a child and he told me he always thinks of me and he was sorry for how he treated me, because I was always a sweet heart and to be honest it made me cry because, even if you feel like you're not worthy those who treat you bad probably saw your worth and wanted to destroy you or they're just now realizing it.....I had that conversation with him a year ago and have not talk to him since, because I respect marriage and don't believe in staying friends with ex's out of respect for their future or current spouse. But my point is men and women both need to see their worth and get healing before entering into any type of relationship, because generational curses are real and no one should want to carry that on to their children or make that any part of their legacy. I refuse to see or let my future children get hurt by me and their father because of our past pains and I want my children to understand their worth before entering into a relationship. I love our black men and I can't wait to get married to a strong black man who is healed and sure of himself. Although I haven't met my husband yet, I pray for him everyday and his well being because once we're married, it'll be serious business for God's plan in our lives! Stay blessed everyone!🙏🏾
Awww you all are more than welcome! I pray for you all that you may receive healing and peace along with being united with your God ordained spouse!🙏🏾😘
"When a person shows you who they are, believe them." - Maya Angelou. This was an awesome interview. Continue to stay focused and walking in your purpose. God bless you Jay.
As a female, I've learned a lot from this conversation. It's easy to focus on myself and my healing process and disregard the fact that, a guy deals with those same issues, with lot less resources and support, thus the "hurt cycle" just keep going. I don't know what it's like to be a man and I can claim to be understanding yet handle things wrong; thanks for this post.
Very True. I'm going threw a divorce now and let me tell you this, my current has wife has so much support doing this time even some of my family members support her, while I'm in this alone battling threw it.
We need something to help the development of MEN especially black men. The world assumes we should be strong all the time while alot we need gets over looked and theres not much help for us.
That woman tried to destroy his life all because he didn't want to get back with her, but it was her fault from the start she purposely said she fell out of love with him to hurt him but then claimed she didn't mean it. She was low down and probably privileged and used to getting whatever she wanted cause of her looks. Women this is a lesson to us all DO NOT SAY ANYTHING YOU DON'T TRULY MEAN!!!!!!!
Damn I just said that today! That's why now I do my best to not say anything out of anger. It's okay to say you hurt and let a person know you love them in spite of and walk away. Trying to say things to make them hurt ain't worth it if you don't mean it. At least that way they gotta deal with it not you.
The day I meet someone that lives like I do..trust like I trust communicate freely as I do.. I always want to know what my significant other is thinking and feeling.. that’s also why I became a therapist I got my masters 2019 June.. in grad school is where I truly learned who I was, and who I wanted to be.. a man who leads and who is also vulnerable is who I desire as my helpmate.. I think men need to discern who they affiliate with and what kind of woman they truly want NOT WHO ONLY stimulates them in one area but MULTIPLE
I wish I could love this a thousand times ❤️❤️❤️ Black men: You are loved, seen and valued even when it seems you are misunderstood. Black women: Let’s do a better job of of cultivating safe places for our men to walk in their vulnerability - once they are healed and ready. The transparency is beautiful and appreciated. Blessings to you Jay! ❤️
@Brian this is a strong and powerful word. I pray healing over you during this season. 🙏🏾 Please pray, worship, and join a men's group/ community to heal.
This was good to my soul! Ladies, your words can build or break a man. Besides God, the one place a man should feel safe in the entire world is with his spouse.
Dating in today's world is a real challenge as it seems that most men (regardless of age) feel that treating a woman like crap will make her love him more. They fail to realize that an emotionally healthy woman will send him on his merry way. Its sad that now many women are playing the same role, hurting men just bc they were hurt. Seems like we're all suffering from relationship/situationship PTSD. I've stopped dating as a result and have left my love life in the hands of My Heavenly Father.
This may have been 2 years ago but it still hits home in 2022. As I raise a black young man in this world, teaching him things and responsability of a man, this one is truth. This Conversation also plays apart in my current relationship. This is amazing. Men heal themselves also. #letmyheart #thishelp
Wow! You both have left me in awe. I have a beautiful 17yo son. He too had his first heartbreak in 7th grade. I thank God and Jesus and the angels in heaven plus Holy Spirit for capacity to listen and support him. He is now subscribed, keep up the good work.. Gods work for our men.
I love this..... I have been divorced for 8 years and I live by being HOT...Honest, Open, Trust.... The word says we are healed by our testimony, right there is the beginning but, I'm loving this..... Great job and this is much needed...
Lord as I continue to persue you, I ask that you provide safe spaces for men and women. Thank you sharing your healing process. Thank you for this podcast, It just popped up in my timeline and I was truly blessed. May God continue to bless you.
Masculine discussion of growth and solutions. I love it. I love being around nothing but grown, evolved discussions and behavior such as this. Godspeed. ❤🙏🏾
I really love to hear a man's heart. It does allow me to see into him. I believe what has happened between men and women is that we've allowed the enemy to turn us against one another. That portion of trying to rescue the women who reminded him of his mom is real. I know a man who once shared that with me. Unfortunately, I experienced looking for my father's love through a man. I had to go before GOD and totally heal. I've always stated that childhood problems become adulthood problems when they are unaddressed. I know the LORD IS our ULTIMATE HEALER. Really loved the transparency in this video. Thank you for sharing.
@@DearFutureWifey Keep doing what you are doing!! I'm going to share this with my African Prince, I see him bending over backwards to not be the man his father was by 1. Not having children before he's married 2. Making sure the special woman in his life is taken care of. I'm so proud of him. He was raised by me as a single parent but, I had help an African village. He's going to make some young lady very happy. He's way beyond his years at the age of 27.
Only a truly BROKEN person has the time to set out to cause harm to another person this way. I’m so sorry that you had to suffer that kind of foolishness. But, you made it and that’s the focus. “Be determined to stand on top of everything that tries to destroy you!” Rule in silence..... that’s integrity.
This brought tears to my eyes! The Most High showed himself strong, but still allowed evil to prevail to direct him in a path to greater in choosing a helpmate. Prayerfully, he can find a woman who can be trusted with his heart, as in Proverbs 31:1.
Men and women need one another to put our feelings into perspective...to clarify things. The way we interpret the world is very different. The one you choose to do the work with will have you even evaluating even your own perspective and the way you see the world and possibly even the way you saw the world in the past. Some situations are not what they seem and you wouldn't know that if you don't communicate. Our worlds could be much more peaceful and less traumatic if we would just communicate.
This was an absolutely beautiful and wonderfully "transparent and organic " podcast. Thank you Sir for providing a healing and restorative space for ALL Men. Blessings I am happy to see this journey😊
Wow... y'all took me to school, church, AND the therapy couch in this one interview! 😓 Thank. You. For. Sharing... and blessings to you both, Brothers!
Do awesome and well spoken. I agree that Love is not about pain. A marriage or relationship is not an endurance sport! You don’t prove love by how much he’ll you can endure. A marriage or relationship should be something we ENJOY! Not something we must endure. Awesome conversation gentlemen!!
This is a great conversation. As a man going through healing. I can honestly say that the pain experienced in my last relationship the breakup has me emotionally unavailable and unable to love a woman in the way that she should be. I can honestly say that this is where I am. Focusing on Jesus and the word so I can Love a woman as Christ Loved the church. The pain & hurt is real!
I'm not even done with watching but I would like to give a virtual standing ovation to your son Armani. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 That is such a commendable point of view at his age. I pray that you continue to surround yourself around like minded community where you can rely on each other when temptation may arise.
8:27 "Don't NOBODY care about YOUR feelings. GET OVER IT!" This is a general sentiment that many of us have experienced, but in order to begin to start healing the generational traumas we need to learn to embrace how we're really feeling and why. Otherwise it may build and fester, instead of dealing with it and healing. It could help save lives.
A petty, immature, insecure person would use your vulnerabilities against you. It's so hurtful, especially when broadcast on social media. I hate to see the SM followers that chime in and buy in based on one person's version of the story. People need to stop that. I can't stand attention seeking people and the people that cater to it. Great conversation! I pray that we all find the healing and love we desire and deserve. I love that men are having these safe spaces for sharing and mature conversations. I'm growing from this as well.
Wow, his honesty.... I saw my Mom in them. I realized I was trying to save my Mom....... This point is my wake up call. I sound like his Mom. I'm going to do better for my sons. Much better! Thank you!
"I have learned to be selective about who I'm vulnerable with... I'm guarded because I want to use wisdom. I don't know what you are going to do with my vulnerability!" This the one! I learned this the hard way. #same
Jay as a therapist for over 20 years I have learned that our experiences become a blessing when we meet people who are going through what we have experienced. God uses those experiences to help others heal. I pray you will continue to be a beam of light and blessings to all those you serve in your practice as a therapist. Great interview and thank you for Your transparency.
This was a beautiful conversation. Men really do hold on to pain for yearrrs...damn near eternity. How the brotha spoke on something from 7th grade really speaks to the level of compartmentalization that occurs early in life, and the level of healing needed for men to move forward in peace & love. Thank you so much for this, I truly learned a lot from this conversation.
Hey sis. I love this! When did you start the conversation? How do you maintain it? I am very close to my 8-year old son and I want him to know the value of waiting upon the Lord.
Our black men go through so much that’s why I’m always nice to them regardless. This message is so powerful. Ladies keep your mouth shut let your man be your safe haven.
This is something I have learned in life. To always speak to my partner and people from my heart space no matter how I am feeling. It takes a lot of self awareness, emotional control/intelligence.This skill does not come easy but with practice, patience and time; it is so worth it!
Wow! I’m speechless and that’s unusual for me! I hope us Queens understand the power that we hold. Thank you both for sharing and being transparent! I think this video should be a part of pre-marital counseling.
A safe space for men to exhale.... Wow! I would’ve love to see the love of God within the atmosphere loving on his men/sons while they grieve, let go and heal!!!! Wow! Incredible. 💕 Thank you guys so much for sharing with us!
A man that don't heal , will kill anything he touches until he heals he shouldnt try to rebuild.
Thanks bro
COME ON BRO....SAY THAT!!!!
So true
@@UniveliBanah Think about this in a natural perspective with a house. If the foundation of your house cracking under you , you are going to go that root cause, start from there, rebuild replacing yet removing at the same time to make it sturdier than ever before.
Amen so true
If a man doesn’t completely heal before going into a new relationship he will leave a trail of tears and broken hearts everywhere he goes.
And it's becomes the problem who he / she is dating
I agree
Foreals!
Amen!
Pass the offering plate!!! I just had this conversation last night
Virgins are a real thing. I'm 32 and still a virgin =) because of my relationship with God. Tell your son to keep going!
Keep up the great work. Proud of you.
Stay one honey until you are blessed with God’s best. I wish I still was, but God is so faithful.
Woohoo!!! Wonderful sis! Well done! So delightful to see and hear rare virtuous sisters such as (myself) speaking up about abstaining from fornication, adultery, etc and not settling for the baby mama lifestyle. Once in your prime age its even easier to keep it, there's no peer pressure like in elementary, high school and college. There are so many women that wish they still had theres, its a blessing plus rare holy gift of beauty for a virtuous queenly bride to still have it to give to her future kingly husband.
"Remaining (chaste) ...pure, holy, & virtuous in obedience keeps me smiling without a FROWN, knowing no man can ever bad talk me & put me DOWN, every time I turn around I get another rare jewel in my CROWN👑. The most high is faithful!" "But for real precious gemstones my Abba covers me in them, I am and forever will always be a royal diadem in His hand." Isaiah 62:3❤️
Same here...34 and still a virgin...because of my relationship with God. Saved me from a lot of heart ache
@@paulaq752 Amen!
Can someone wipe this permanent smile off of my face?! I love seeing men of color producing positive, uplifting and fruitful content! Be well brothers.
Wow, thank you!
It's a beautiful thing!
Yes, girl that's what I'm talking about I love to sit down with an intelligent bro and have a deep conversation LOOVVVEEE IT yes I do. The mind is deep got to keep up lol
Idris who? This brother is FINE! Most importantly though, he is seeking the Lord and wholeness.
Ditto 👍🏾
Chillleeeeeeee May all praises go the most high 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Amen and Amen!👏🏾
if are ok with sex before marriage you seeking the lord with HALFNESS. After watching at least 5 videos on this channel, ive concluded, its just like steffan and the rest, THIS WHOLE CHANNEL SEEKING THE LORD HALF BAKED AND WITH HALFNESS, ill much rather listen to Process Life channel
Yes he is....FOINEEEEE...I love that he's healing and letting the Lord help him. 😍
Women pursuing men while the man is in “intensive care”. Huge problem!! My husband cheated with multiple women over the course of our marriage and had no problem finding a new relationship with a woman while going thru our 3 year divorce. Yes, she dated my husband throughout the entire divorce process . No time to heal! Women want to believe they can heal a man. Meanwhile, he will take out all of his pain on the new woman and delay his true healing. I knew I could not date anyone due to the level of trauma I experience in that toxic marriage. I found my healing through self love. Thank you.
Praise God you've been restored
Golden I’m going through the same thing in my marriage. Thank you for sharing your journey and God bless you.
Sister, I am a firm believe changing women ain't changing him.
Always remember, you are strong and never feel bad about what he did to you. Hold your head up and continue to be that beautiful woman God intended you to be.
So true well written
A Golden Rule of Mine: Don't weaponize each other's vulnerabilities against each other.
Powerful!
True
Gold!
Amazing comment. :)
🙏🏿
I identify with Mr. Barnett and I'm a woman. My mother told me there is a way to argue and express yourself, and once you go "below the belt", then we're having a whole different conversation now and not the original conversation. Safe spaces are SO important! This was good.
My first time listening and I enjoyed it. I was about to get married and I had a mental break down at the alter. It was the most embarrassing day of my life on both sides. I wish I knew that I needed healing before I got in a relationship with her. Because I broke down and since then I been having mental health issues. I been in mental facilities and near suicide attempts. Men we need healing before we pursue any relationships. I'm loving this podcast thanks. Keep me in prayer please because this is the hardest season of my life
May God heal u completely.
Thank you for sharing. How long ago did the breakdown at the wedding occur?
Definitely will
Have faith that God can take you through this
Hang in there. You are neccessary to this world.
Vulnerability is a sacred trust that must be earned.
I think that is really the problem. You fight to hide your vulnerability at the detriment of dealing with yourself and your relationships.
@@shellylong2158 That is a great point. I would agree with you in that is what most people do. You have to be really secure in your identity to be vulnerable. It is impossible to have a secure identity when you tie it to temporal things- which is the American way of life.
Very profound and there is much truth in that statement!
This is soooo good!! Great wisdom!! Much needed!! I’m sharing this and listening to this AGAIN!!
Was explaining this to my .. now ex. Thanks for validating this belief.
He went back to 7th grade. Ladies this show how pain can run deep into a person past. As a Christian We definitely need to have more transparency about sex and relationships and dealing with your own desires male/females. Take the time to heal singleness can really be a blessing. Passing this information along.
Exactly for the new generation! We need more transparency
Good interview. Why can't more good women and men run into each other? Both sides have the same issue with finding good people to be in relationships with. It is important to be with a man that is emotionally healthy and mature.
A million dollar question
Ugggghhhh 👌 EXACTLY..... “Dear Jesus”.......
Where is the lie?! 👏 👏 👏 truth 💣 💣
Roe A exactly it’s like the universe take us both in different directions
Dear Future Wifey please let’s figure it out man it’s crazy how the good men and good women get the crappy people
As a woman over 40 I dream and pray for a man like Jay. I would so appreciate a man with a heart of gold.
Me too I'm over 40 it's hard to get a good guy
Amen Amen Amen .. me 3.... being 41 feel the same way...
I'm 33 and while I know these men exist it still feels like the sighting of a rare or threatened animal species lol
Jokes aside I look forward to when God allows my future husband and I to meet. Two whole individuals who have put in the work (beforehand and ongoing) and have the maturity (emotional, mental, spiritual) to prove it
Yes, I totally agree with you.
CujdusSzz ca o I His Jc has xoyst got ox his P.O. Joy is J Judy u your y I uzz a You Ito hzz as out ok u
I needed to hear this. All women need to listen to this podcast.
Men hurt too and we can’t dismiss their pain.
Thank you both for your transparency.
Facts!
Exactly
I’m a Pastor’s daughter and I can relate to how he was raised and the late bloomer comment. Good dialogue
Been celibiate for 2 years.....being celibate has absolutely changed my life for the better. This definitely makes dating easier & harder. I saw this video in my recommended. I will never forget I was "talking" to a guy and I told me I am not having sex until marriage and I really tried to tell him the benfits of not having sex. This man literally said to me i can't do that, I said bet I wish you the best of luck i have to stand strong in my values.
To thine ownself be true.
So proud of you sis I’m on my way
@@sheambitious29lachelle17 thank you sis!! You got this!!!
aGREE! It makes dating so much easier. You get rid of the bad ones quicker. They are not willing to wait or even entertain the idea of dating a celibate woman
1 year of celibacy for me September 5th. Congratulations sus, keep going!! 🎉🎉🎉
I enjoyed this podcast so much. Ladies, a kind advice please seek God first, the more you know God, more you will know yourself. Also it's impossible to journey with a man if you don't understand the psychology of men. Let's thrive to be what God want us to be in a man's life which is a "helpmeet". Praying that this pandemic will be used to heal us so we can start building legacy and expand God's Kingdom.
Preach!
♥️
Amen amen
Amen!!
*helpMATE
Black men need this. Thank you for the topic.
Thank you for your support. How did you find our podcast?
@@DearFutureWifey Your welcome. The UA-cam algorithm. It was a suggested video on my home page.
So true. They gained a new Subby!! Really good stuff.
@@JuanitaELCameron Thank you and welcome to the family.
I enjoyed this podcast. I am now subscribed.
"Don't take me through hell, to define what love is" this is a very powerful statement. Christ's life does already love is kind...🙌
It’s hard to find a man that will express themselves to you. I would want a man to express themselves to me. It’s like pulling teeth. No way would I shut a man down for being transparent.... being with a man who doesn’t open up is like talking to a brick wall!!!
Lol. Unfortunately, some people love talking to brick walls. Just kidding. I pray you meet that special someone who would meet your expectations
Dear Future Wifey thank you and thank for putting content out !!!
That's why it's so important to ask yourself is this the Mate really for me. Once they express who they are. Do they turn Flighty because they don't want to deal with the real inner you.
But then with some women they look at a man being too sensitive or too emotional when you do open up to women like it’s sad man.. you can’t win for anything
Stephen Gibbs a woman who genuinely wants to get to know you won’t mind you being transparent. The woman won’t go around telling her friends how you opened up and did this and that because she respects you and the relationship.
I'm 31, single, Christian Man who is a virgin.
Much props bro
@@DearFutureWifey thank you Brother!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beautiful God is going to bless you
@@tamillawiggins5596 thank you sister!!!!!
Beautiful stay that way until God brings you your Ruth lol I love it
Healing is a must. Two broken people can't love each other the way that God intended. Men and women break each other in ways that are often hard to mend. We need to heal ourselves before we can show up as the adult needed for healthy relationships.
Nothing is too hard for God. He is the potter we are the clay!
Hurt people hurt people.
This man sounds like the male version of me…. Every ex was my project to save my dad…. And I couldn’t stop until I saved one but it always crumbled and I ended up having to face the flaws of my father all over again….. sheesh…. It gets deep man ‼️
What’s the pattern you see in the people you date? “I was trying to rescue my mom.”
**deep breath**
Because that was a deep statement. We go through relationships trying to right wrongs that don’t belong to us. My God. 🙏🏾
@Mesia- Yep, this mortal experience is far deeper than we realize. This guy's been a Counselor for only moments, but has learned so diligently and brought much of his experience to 'the feet of the Savior' for guidance, translation, and clarity. What a student; what a warrior! Pensive and humble, a natural healer is he. I'm a woman and he is certainly lifting me. Go Jay! Reign, you shall. 🤍, MJ
"When you tell someone you love them you are setting a standard of how you are going to operate with them"- this is so good...now back to the podcast.
This deep
She only gave you "content for your calling." You are now a therapist who have gone thru hurt, betrayal and lies from someone once close to you...came out on the other side whole without retaliation. You are able to truly lead your clients based on real life experiences and not on philosophy alone.
Amen
Powerful.
God will use all our ashes for His glory and turn something beautiful out of them. But it was not His desire for us to be in ashes. We must first understand those were the choices we made. Like he said, he needs to do more research and discovery phase before giving a woman his whole heart.
I like your adopted son Armani, it's refreshing...to hear that. I pray he does find a virgin wife and they can discover together without pressure of memories of the past. Shout out to all the brothers waiting, virgins still and choosing to wait again.
“When you tell someone you “love” them, you’re setting a standard for how you’re going to operate with them.” Expressing verbally what you feel inside, and walking in that expression.
Out of the mouths of babes!!! Your son will be blessed to have a kingdom marriage. Praying!!! Blessings!!!
Yes!!! That was so beautiful to hear!!! I pray he accomplishes this goal and is abundantly blessed 🙏🏽
This is so attractive to me. Seeing a man talk about being vulnerable. And how he regain his confidence. And not letting his pride keep him from sharing like this. I wish the young lady came on the show for this episode. Man, this is a great show guys.
Thank you so much. We're going live at 6pm CST today.
I love when my Husband and Brothers get together and have "man talk".I listen sometimes to learn how to be more helpful but I never bring up anything or ask questions when they allow me in their space.I jus feel blessed because of the trust they have to talk in front of me.❤
This was a much needed interview. Please do more of these. We need to hear about the emotional parts of black men, as well as what great, saved men want in women.
"I am not perfect but I know my heart is gold" Sweet........
A real man of God, not afraid to talk about being broken.
I will say this i am 25 years old graduate school student. The pandemic was a blessing in disguise because it allowed me to sit back and be still. Not going to lie i am a long term relationship kind of girl but I am so happy this time has really allowed me to find a hobby which is doing nails. My parents been married for 24 years so I LOVE love and want to be a wife in the future. I definitely want and will wait to be in a relationship until my ph.D program. I have healed some trauma with my family during this pandemic. It was so tough at first because I hate crying but the healing needed to be done. I always say I want a man who had qualities like my dad. God fearing, family oriented, protective, provider and traditional. I value traditional gender roles. When I become a parent I definitely will be very transparent with my kids about everything.
Tell Jay NOT TO DATE! His relationship with Abba is so solid, that if he can be patient, Abba will bring wifey right to him and he won't have to sift through women to 'find' her.
Word!
Extremely informative.
I pray he is led by the spirit of God either way in Jesus name.
I love everything about this conversation. His openness and vulnerability is commendable. I can tell he’s a genuine man. I pray he finds a woman who will genuinely love him and be his safe space 🙏🏾
To any woman reading this, I learned the hard way the power that negative words can have on a man. They can emotionally kill him. While this is not an excuse, it almost always stems from some unresolved hurt. And it often takes losing something or someone to realize this. I encourage women to search themselves and begin addressing those issues now, so you don’t take it out on a man who is trying his best to love you. On the other hand, if you are with a man who is hurting you, triggering that unresolved pain and bringing this type of behavior out you, get out of that relationship ASAP. You need to be in a relationship that cultivates healing, not add to your trauma.
Teenage me made a vow that anyone who hurts me, I would hurt them back but worse. 35 year old me made a new vow, that there’s nothing anybody can do to that take me back to a place that I fought hard to be freed from. My future husband deserves a healed and whole wife who will speak LIFE into him, not death. Keywords: HEALED and WHOLE. Ladies, heal and become whole.
To any man reading this, I’m sorry on behalf of myself and any other woman that have made you feel anything less than the King God called you to be.
Thanks for watching.
Dear Future Wifey You’re welcome! Please keep me in mind whenever you’re searching for future guests :)
Deep message "cultivate healing, not add to trauma" this should be everyone's desire to add to any relationship whether its friendship or intimate. Thanks for sharing your message.
These men are beautiful and I'm so sorry that Jay went through such a hard time :(
To God be the glory.
Ti is such a breath of fresh air to see black men being open, vulnerable, and honest in their feelings. I wish more black men would release their hurt so that they can heal.
My husband said he knew first date he would marry me. 8 months later it was a wrapped. 17 years later were still here. We love each other I think loving a person is not this googly eyed stuff we see on TV it's harder than that it raw and real.
Are you saying 8months in you got married or broke up?
@@kiaragrier2540 married to that man now
I just broke up with my bf, after a year, but I know it's not the end. This encourages me that God's promise will come to pass, no mater how it looks now.
Man, it was so many gems but what stood out to me the most is recognizing a man’s vulnerability and knowing what to do with it. Understanding that I’m supposed to be creating a safe haven for him, and not mishandling that trust. Yes, men are placed in a category where they are supposed to be tough, providers, protectors and society has really placed a standard on the man to where he shouldn’t be so vulnerable but with that, we have a lot of damaged men. We forget they are human, not robots or machines.
There’s a lot going on in the world, and a man need his woman as a safe haven. That doesn’t mean tests and arguments won’t happen, but it does mean that respect and boundaries should still be there. I can’t create a safe haven, when all I’m doing is intentionally hurting with words. Using his vulnerability against him. Ultimately, that’s not love. That’s self.
Thank you so much for all of this!
A well thought out takeaway. Thank you so much for your support.
Ohh thank you so much for wanting to understand, much love to you
I don't know how this video popped up in my recommendations, but I'm glad it did. Men absolutely need a safe space to express their emotions. This was an awesome video! I'm also a therapist and going through my healing process as well. I am going through a divorce and have decided to spend this time with God and myself. I am rediscovering who I am and loving every minute of it.💕 Thanks so much for this video and tell Jay thanks for using my name "Tasha" in his example! 🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣 Hey, Tasha! You hurt my boy!
I know right!! Same here. Look at God🙏 women don't make it hard for good men to FIND us. Please 🙏
Agree!
I really loved this episode, men in general don’t show this side. It’s so good to experience this side of a man: expressive, vulnerable, Godly, and authentic.
The vulnerability expressed by this man is refreshing.....and attractive. 😘 These conversations need to had much more often. I pray my future husband is as emotionally evolved and self aware as Jay. And I equally pray that I properly receive and allow him a safe space in me to share that vulnerability.
From 38:00 on, this woman said "she fell out of love wit him" just to be hurtful AFTER he was THERE WITH her through a tumultuous time. So, this woman had THIS man that honored and loved her freely. NOW he is completely guarded and may not be that open again. What about a woman like me who would appreciate and honor this type of man to the fullest??
This video was so powerful.. our black men really catch it from all angles.. Supporting our men is so important...
PTSD is real if you come from a traumatic relationship. I literally had PTSD after a relationship years ago I had with someone on and off for 5 years and on top of that because I only dated black men that relationship had me not liking black men at all. I realized I had been hurt by every man who entered my life and that last one just made me go back into a serious depression because he was my friend first and knew all my darkest secrets and then later turned into exactly what I was hurt by from my past. But about 2 years ago, I realized Nope that was satan trying to get me to hate my Beautiful Black Kings and I had to think about the patterns in my life and realize that it all stemmed from my relationship with my father. I was attracting men like him. It took for my dad to pass away to understand that people are a product of their parents/ childhood because my dad didn't have a good father, so how could he be a good father? I actually prayed to God to forgive my dad and I repented for my dad's sins and asked God to have mercy on his soul. I also asked God to forgive me for not seeing my value and for those who hurt me, because they were only treating me how they probably were raised and treated or from a bad relationship. I forgave them and tried to mend those relationships, because I too allowed for things to happen versus just walking away. One guy I dated is married now with a child and he told me he always thinks of me and he was sorry for how he treated me, because I was always a sweet heart and to be honest it made me cry because, even if you feel like you're not worthy those who treat you bad probably saw your worth and wanted to destroy you or they're just now realizing it.....I had that conversation with him a year ago and have not talk to him since, because I respect marriage and don't believe in staying friends with ex's out of respect for their future or current spouse. But my point is men and women both need to see their worth and get healing before entering into any type of relationship, because generational curses are real and no one should want to carry that on to their children or make that any part of their legacy. I refuse to see or let my future children get hurt by me and their father because of our past pains and I want my children to understand their worth before entering into a relationship. I love our black men and I can't wait to get married to a strong black man who is healed and sure of himself. Although I haven't met my husband yet, I pray for him everyday and his well being because once we're married, it'll be serious business for God's plan in our lives! Stay blessed everyone!🙏🏾
Thank you for sharing your story. I can totally relate with you. 🤎🤎 Our king is coming Sis and the healing will be on both sides. Much Love
Thank you for sharing your story. So much truth. I needed to read this and so many others did as well.
Thank You for sharing this! 🙌🏾🙌🏾
Awww you all are more than welcome! I pray for you all that you may receive healing and peace along with being united with your God ordained spouse!🙏🏾😘
Thank you so much for your transparency. Your testimony will heal many.
"When a person shows you who they are, believe them." - Maya Angelou. This was an awesome interview. Continue to stay focused and walking in your purpose. God bless you Jay.
Let Your Character out live their lies. Great quote!
This just spoke my whole life's traumatizing past, down falls, issues, and current spiritual process to bring forth my dynamic future... thank you
Amen, Robert! Walk in freedom! Be healed in Jesus Name!
As a female, I've learned a lot from this conversation. It's easy to focus on myself and my healing process and disregard the fact that, a guy deals with those same issues, with lot less resources and support, thus the "hurt cycle" just keep going. I don't know what it's like to be a man and I can claim to be understanding yet handle things wrong; thanks for this post.
Facts!
Very True. I'm going threw a divorce now and let me tell you this, my current has wife has so much support doing this time even some of my family members support her, while I'm in this alone battling threw it.
We need something to help the development of MEN especially black men. The world assumes we should be strong all the time while alot we need gets over looked and theres not much help for us.
My plan is to develop that program
I like the fact he does not hop from relationship to relationship! He seems like a man of integrity and good character!!
What have I stumbled upon? UA-cam recommendation got it right! Thanks for the transparency.
Thank you
Love that, "Let your character outlive their lies". Thank you that is a healing salve
Love this
That woman tried to destroy his life all because he didn't want to get back with her, but it was her fault from the start she purposely said she fell out of love with him to hurt him but then claimed she didn't mean it. She was low down and probably privileged and used to getting whatever she wanted cause of her looks. Women this is a lesson to us all DO NOT SAY ANYTHING YOU DON'T TRULY MEAN!!!!!!!
Learning from that now
Damn I just said that today! That's why now I do my best to not say anything out of anger. It's okay to say you hurt and let a person know you love them in spite of and walk away. Trying to say things to make them hurt ain't worth it if you don't mean it. At least that way they gotta deal with it not you.
The day I meet someone that lives like I do..trust like I trust communicate freely as I do.. I always want to know what my significant other is thinking and feeling.. that’s also why I became a therapist I got my masters 2019 June.. in grad school is where I truly learned who I was, and who I wanted to be.. a man who leads and who is also vulnerable is who I desire as my helpmate.. I think men need to discern who they affiliate with and what kind of woman they truly want NOT WHO ONLY stimulates them in one area but MULTIPLE
This makes me feel so much better about being single. Like I always feel like I am the singlest single person out here lol
Did you say the "singlest single person?" Hilarious. In due time.
Yes lol long story but trusting God no matter what.
#thestruggle 😆
No honey your not ! Sex is overrated relationships are work and many aren’t ready for the lessons
I wish I could love this a thousand times ❤️❤️❤️ Black men: You are loved, seen and valued even when it seems you are misunderstood. Black women: Let’s do a better job of of cultivating safe places for our men to walk in their vulnerability - once they are healed and ready. The transparency is beautiful and appreciated. Blessings to you Jay! ❤️
The vulnerability in this message speaks volumes to our black kings! Continue to spread the Lord’s Word through this avenue...it is truly needed.
May God prosper Armani for keeping his way pure. He is wise beyond his years.
We can’t let heart break control your whole life
This was a good interview. A lot of insight on men’s emotions.
Thank you for your support. Much love.
Holy crap!!! This episode had me crying tonight in my bed in the middle of a divorce.
Brian, my heart goes out to you, bro. Healing will come. Endure this season. Pray. Read the Word. Play worship songs. Seek the Lord.
@Brian this is a strong and powerful word. I pray healing over you during this season. 🙏🏾 Please pray, worship, and join a men's group/ community to heal.
Allow God to do the surgery brother
Brian I wish your heart wholeness
This was good to my soul! Ladies, your words can build or break a man. Besides God, the one place a man should feel safe in the entire world is with his spouse.
Dating in today's world is a real challenge as it seems that most men (regardless of age) feel that treating a woman like crap will make her love him more. They fail to realize that an emotionally healthy woman will send him on his merry way. Its sad that now many women are playing the same role, hurting men just bc they were hurt. Seems like we're all suffering from relationship/situationship PTSD. I've stopped dating as a result and have left my love life in the hands of My Heavenly Father.
This is so true.
This may have been 2 years ago but it still hits home in 2022. As I raise a black young man in this world, teaching him things and responsability of a man, this one is truth. This Conversation also plays apart in my current relationship. This is amazing. Men heal themselves also.
#letmyheart #thishelp
Facts
Love hearing intelligent beautiful black men speak! Absolutely love this ! ❤️🙏🏾
Thank you so much.
Love the transparency!! Listen to your son....a child shall lead them❤
Wow! You both have left me in awe. I have a beautiful 17yo son. He too had his first heartbreak in 7th grade. I thank God and Jesus and the angels in heaven plus Holy Spirit for capacity to listen and support him. He is now subscribed, keep up the good work.. Gods work for our men.
I love this..... I have been divorced for 8 years and I live by being HOT...Honest, Open, Trust.... The word says we are healed by our testimony, right there is the beginning but, I'm loving this..... Great job and this is much needed...
Thank you for your support. Be sure to check out previous episodes.
@@DearFutureWifey oh yea I am... I have shared this with my contacts... Healing is soooook necessary
Lord as I continue to persue you, I ask that you provide safe spaces for men and women. Thank you sharing your healing process. Thank you for this podcast, It just popped up in my timeline and I was truly blessed. May God continue to bless you.
These men truly have such a wealth of knowledge through their experiences.
So nice to hear men speak like this. In a healthy way.
The wrong woman will tear down a whole kingdom! THIS! I know yall better preach on this good podcast on today!
The transparency of this conversation was so beautiful, I appreciate you guys for keeping it real and share your experiences in love
Masculine discussion of growth and solutions. I love it. I love being around nothing but grown, evolved discussions and behavior such as this. Godspeed. ❤🙏🏾
I really love to hear a man's heart. It does allow me to see into him. I believe what has happened between men and women is that we've allowed the enemy to turn us against one another. That portion of trying to rescue the women who reminded him of his mom is real. I know a man who once shared that with me. Unfortunately, I experienced looking for my father's love through a man. I had to go before GOD and totally heal. I've always stated that childhood problems become adulthood problems when they are unaddressed. I know the LORD IS our ULTIMATE HEALER. Really loved the transparency in this video. Thank you for sharing.
I just stumbled across this podcast and series IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING INTERVIEWS I HAVE EVER SEEN...Thank you 👍🙏❤💪👌
Wow, thank you! Glad you appreciated it.
@@DearFutureWifey Keep doing what you are doing!! I'm going to share this with my African Prince, I see him bending over backwards to not be the man his father was by 1. Not having children before he's married 2. Making sure the special woman in his life is taken care of.
I'm so proud of him. He was raised by me as a single parent but, I had help an African village. He's going to make some young lady very happy. He's way beyond his years at the age of 27.
Only a truly BROKEN person has the time to set out to cause harm to another person this way. I’m so sorry that you had to suffer that kind of foolishness. But, you made it and that’s the focus. “Be determined to stand on top of everything that tries to destroy you!” Rule in silence..... that’s integrity.
As a woman this is beautiful to see two men having this open, honest and transparent discussion. I love it
This brought tears to my eyes! The Most High showed himself strong, but still allowed evil to prevail to direct him in a path to greater in choosing a helpmate. Prayerfully, he can find a woman who can be trusted with his heart, as in Proverbs 31:1.
Men and women need one another to put our feelings into perspective...to clarify things. The way we interpret the world is very different. The one you choose to do the work with will have you even evaluating even your own perspective and the way you see the world and possibly even the way you saw the world in the past. Some situations are not what they seem and you wouldn't know that if you don't communicate. Our worlds could be much more peaceful and less traumatic if we would just communicate.
This was an absolutely beautiful and wonderfully "transparent and organic " podcast. Thank you Sir for providing a healing and restorative space for ALL Men. Blessings I am happy to see this journey😊
Thank you for your support.
Wow... y'all took me to school, church, AND the therapy couch in this one interview! 😓 Thank. You. For. Sharing... and blessings to you both, Brothers!
That means a lot
Amen
My last relationship did a number on me too I feel you
Do awesome and well spoken. I agree that Love is not about pain. A marriage or relationship is not an endurance sport! You don’t prove love by how much he’ll you can endure. A marriage or relationship should be something we ENJOY! Not something we must endure. Awesome conversation gentlemen!!
This is a great conversation. As a man going through healing. I can honestly say that the pain experienced in my last relationship the breakup has me emotionally unavailable and unable to love a woman in the way that she should be. I can honestly say that this is where I am.
Focusing on Jesus and the word so I can Love a woman as Christ Loved the church.
The pain & hurt is real!
Thank you, bro for sharing your heart. As men, we shy away from being honest about it feelings towards heartbreak. You will heal.
I'm not even done with watching but I would like to give a virtual standing ovation to your son Armani. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 That is such a commendable point of view at his age. I pray that you continue to surround yourself around like minded community where you can rely on each other when temptation may arise.
8:27 "Don't NOBODY care about YOUR feelings. GET OVER IT!"
This is a general sentiment that many of us have experienced, but in order to begin to start healing the generational traumas we need to learn to embrace how we're really feeling and why. Otherwise it may build and fester, instead of dealing with it and healing. It could help save lives.
A petty, immature, insecure person would use your vulnerabilities against you. It's so hurtful, especially when broadcast on social media. I hate to see the SM followers that
chime in and buy in based on one person's version of the story. People need to stop that. I can't stand attention seeking people and the people that cater to it. Great conversation! I pray that we all find the healing and love we desire and deserve. I love that men are having these safe spaces for sharing and mature conversations. I'm growing from this as well.
Wow, his honesty.... I saw my Mom in them. I realized I was trying to save my Mom....... This point is my wake up call. I sound like his Mom. I'm going to do better for my sons. Much better! Thank you!
"I have learned to be selective about who I'm vulnerable with... I'm guarded because I want to use wisdom. I don't know what you are going to do with my vulnerability!" This the one! I learned this the hard way. #same
Jay as a therapist for over 20 years I have learned that our experiences become a blessing when we meet people who are going through what we have experienced. God uses those experiences to help others heal. I pray you will continue to be a beam of light and blessings to all those you serve in your practice as a therapist. Great interview and thank you for Your transparency.
55:10 Don't ignore red flags and try to pray them away. Trust your instincts.
This was a beautiful conversation. Men really do hold on to pain for yearrrs...damn near eternity. How the brotha spoke on something from 7th grade really speaks to the level of compartmentalization that occurs early in life, and the level of healing needed for men to move forward in peace & love.
Thank you so much for this, I truly learned a lot from this conversation.
It's so true.
My sons are virgins! Me and my husband talked to them extensively about the importance of not having sex!
That's dope!
Hey sis. I love this! When did you start the conversation? How do you maintain it? I am very close to my 8-year old son and I want him to know the value of waiting upon the Lord.
Our black men go through so much that’s why I’m always nice to them regardless. This message is so powerful. Ladies keep your mouth shut let your man be your safe haven.
This is something I have learned in life. To always speak to my partner and people from my heart space no matter how I am feeling. It takes a lot of self awareness, emotional control/intelligence.This skill does not come easy but with practice, patience and time; it is so worth it!
Wow! I’m speechless and that’s unusual for me! I hope us Queens understand the power that we hold. Thank you both for sharing and being transparent! I think this video should be a part of pre-marital counseling.
Thank you so much for your support.
A safe space for men to exhale.... Wow! I would’ve love to see the love of God within the atmosphere loving on his men/sons while they grieve, let go and heal!!!! Wow! Incredible. 💕 Thank you guys so much for sharing with us!