Divorce Is Not Bad
Вставка
- Опубліковано 18 лип 2019
- Why do we speak of divorce with such a negative tone? In this video I share my thoughts on the way we define divorce.
JOIN ME at EVOLVE 2019, my annual event, on Oct. 18-20 in Long Beach, CA. Purchase tickets here: www.evolvewithdrshefali.com/
Please subscribe to my UA-cam channel!
Dr. Shefali is a NYT bestselling author of The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. She is also a clinical psychologist, an international speaker and a wisdom teacher, integrating Eastern philosophy with Western psychology.
Instagram: bit.ly/2IVKC47
FaceBook Page: bit.ly/2Y2vwjB
Twitter: bit.ly/2x8joC0
Learn more at: www.drshefali.com
divorce means a bad marriage is over
Period
Over for good! Done with that. A bad marriage is bad from the beginning, but you may not have known... that was MY case. I didn't internalize the red flags🚩🚩🚩🚩. It took me so long to get out of the mind fog, to see the inequities, and what I gave
up, allowed, and tolerated. I had to forgive Self and everyone else associated with it. I had to step out of codependency, face some facts, and take responsibility for putting myself in that sacrificial position of giving to the point of depletion. It's been a long, long road towards recovery. I'm almost there.⚖️ I'm almost Home.⚖️ At last.🌈🕊️
Not just bad marriage is over. Always the guy have to pay bills of the burden even if the aren't together no more. Women rights fellas.
Thank you Dr. Shefali for this video and the truth you showed us. This clears my mind regarding what I am currently going through, that scary "d" word. To me, the divorce is the necessary process to heal my wounds from childhood and to say goodbye to the people-pleasing inauthenticity and to use my own ultimate strength as a whole person. I am 43 and finally I start to live my life as me.
5 years of severe guilt and shame over being the person who left my marriage and therefore destroyed my daughter’s happiness forever - this has literally been my internal dialogue for the last 5 years. And now, to hear this message...??? I have no words to describe the way I feel and how GRATEFUL I am for these 3 minutes.
I’ve been wanting to write a book about divorce and offer an alternative perspective for people who feel the same as me, and I may just need to do that. Thank you, thank you, thank you Dr Shefali!
🙏🙏🙏
You are a terrible parent.
@@DOCTORKHANblog And you are a TERRIBLE human being for daring to say something so offensive! Imagine if I believed what you said, that would be AWFUL! Do not dare to speak to me or write anything else. The kind of thinking that you have, having the audacity to write that I am a terrible parent - this is why our society is so fucked up. Because of people like you.
@@Ada_Isabella Let me go further. You're not only a terrible mother, but a terrible wife, person and existence of a life.
@@DOCTORKHANblog And let me explain something further to you. None of your comments, not a single one affect me. You could literally say a thousand more insulting things and none of them would bother me. Everything that you say, everything negative is a reflection of you who you are internally - TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING.
@@Ada_Isabella Don't care if what I say affect you or not. Just laying it out there.
I love the way she explains divorce as positive growth and not as a faliure sometimes when both the partner could remain frnds but no longer wanna continue as partners,i think marriage is all about to be in harmony with each others ideas and helping each other grow.. And ofcourse romance too...
hello mam
@aitareya Dwibedi yes
I was villified for getting divorced and honestly, it was the best thing I did!! I'm now married to a man that is good for my soul.
Just give that 5-7 years. You ll be back on the divorce train. If not it’s because you ll not want to be “vilified” again. Only reason you won’t end up in a divorce is bc you changed and didn’t want one.
2nd marriages end up in divorce more than first marriages. Maybe you’re happier now bc you are getting same income, but now you have support money from first husband on top, AND with your new husbands money. You sound like pure trash
@@jneptune1540
Incel detected.
@@jneptune1540
Omg..I think in 5- 7 years ..u ll successfully learn how to mind ur own business and not share ur unnecessary opinion on others life..
@@priyapd326 you do realize the video was posted for the WHOLE WORLD to see. You might to walk around the blinders on and not give a care or opinion on thing you see posted for the public.
The best part is your comment as you want others to mind their own business on a public post, as you state yours🤦🏿🤦🏼🤦🏻🤦🏽
If your going to give ...advice, please practice what you preach. But I get it, it’s a woman thing.
@@jneptune1540 but dude, your comment was like depressive .-.
You don't help.
This help me a lot. I used your video in my debate presentation about legalization of divorce in the Philippines.
I needed to hear those wise words thank you Shefali
Thank you shefali for making this video. Wherever we see anything about divorce in media is so negative. We want to come out of that negativity that’s the reason we are divorcing again the same things showing up which in-fact people will doubt whether to divorce or not. I read your book ( radical awakening) and it’s very very enlightening and I personally felt every women should read it. I appreciate your help and incredible work your doing.
Why are most people so bitter around divorces like it's thier business especially in India?
The kind of women the world needs. Full of beauty. Full of wisdom!
I needed it now....great words, am going through that.
You enlighten my mind Dr.Shefali .
This really calmed me down. Thank you
And relationship breakdowns in general.
It is a little limiting to tie your growth/happiness or blame your lack of growth or lack of happiness on another human being. Secondly I think divorce is something to be avoided if possible. There are situations where it will happen, but there maybe many situations where all it takes to save a marriage is understanding alignment in a relationship and learning to integrate impulses and desires. This can be useful in other relationships, not just marriage. I think this video is too short to give a complete picture of what divorce means and the impact it can have due to the strong bonds that have been built over time. One may leave with the impression that divorce is something to be glorified. It is not guaranteed that you will be happier or experience growth after divorce.
I understand what you are saying, but how I interpreted the video was about your belief systems about the topic as an individual. We are responsible for our own happiness and growth or lack there of. The interpersonal relationship and understanding of polarity within the relationship helps and does not just allow one to rely on the cultural identities that’s been passed down from generations about marriage and divorce by their standards. A question I would ask is can I outfit the old belief systems in this current time reliably ,to ensure the current paradigm of marriage and divorce remains healthy from my individual mindset? Loved the post and your insight.
Enjoy your day!!!!!
I would love to watch or read more about this from you. I need it so much. Do you have a book on relationships?
She has many books hope you found some
Very good interview you had with Lowes Howe
As of 2018, only 6 men per 1,000 were getting married today; as of 2022, probably less than 4. Thank God. The entire institution of marriage needs to be dissolved, it has outlived it's usefulness to society, it is an archaic practice that makes women miserable and men financially crippled. Co-habitation or simple hook ups are adequate moving forward.
Just ask any 10 year old how they feel about Divorce - it's bad! The REAL problem is that many people don't know how to "help their marriage grow", it's not just automatic in life!
I don't get why people are scared of divorce, my parents got divorced 7 years ago, and I was unfazed. It might just be my hyperactive attitude where I'm almost always happy. If you have divorced parents, (preferably if they've been divorced for a while,) how did you feel when you found out, and how do you feel now?
People have too many unhealthy attachments to concepts designed by society which are quite regressive in this day and age. I am glad that your parents' divorce didn't negatively effect you. It's nothing personal even for kids of the couple that is if the parents have been compassionate and wise while explaining divorce to their kids. People are more scared of what their families of society would say in other words people are scared of being the topic of gossip nothing more than that
Brilliant!!!! I love you!!
i am suffered from very bed situation ..but still afraid of the word..nobody can imagin how far i took the toxic ..but still afraid of the word..because there is something deep in my mind to fear distance memoires ..is it ok or not i don't know..but i cant tell anybody about my feelings.so here i am writing .
The Divorce itself was a process i had to learn to live with however the Financial loss aspects i.e. with legal fees, 401K split, child support etc. almost killed me more! Men have to deal with this being one of the hardest parts of the process with having a Divorce. 10 yrs later i have peace more mind now but the thought of all the Financial burdens i had to experience still gives me nightmares!!
Beautifully you describe the divorce....its true nd authentic
Yes yes and more yes
Wowww going through that...and i feel happy 😊
"Just the end of a PHASE." Thank you, it helps.
Awesome Again....can’t wait for her book on relationships ♥️
Yes, very true!
She makes it sound like an easy Happy transition. No way. It's not easy for the kids and it's not easy for anyone. Stop entertaining the easy way out. Start asking questions, you'll find the answers.
Making your kids sleep in a different bed going back & forth while you get to move on with your life and do you is selfish. There are 1000 ways to heal a marriage - divorce should be a last resort! Get wisdom, be a whole individual and choose who to marry carefully instead of relying on divorce.
Wondering, Have she been through a divorce ?🤔
Pl Dr shafali make video in Hindi also so your talent can change Indian parents & they make better relationship with their children you know very well what Indian social customs & traditions our indian daughters face so many challenges
I love your thoughts & it's help me a lot but in English sometime icant understand so pl request do. Hindi video
Love it. We need more people who challenges the status quo like you.
Wow! 🤩
I view a lot of phenomena as occurring on a spectrum. Attachment parenting sounds wonderful. There are a lot of good aspects to moving your world around for your child. But it can be taken too far and produce what these parents label as ‘high-needs children.’ one has to find the good in any recommended set of actions and discard what doesn’t seem to work for their situation. Divorce is often quite damaging for all involved and it’s hard to imagine a way out that won’t transfer sadness, anger and trauma onto the children. There are exceptions and even what I’m saying is only valid on a spectrum. There are marriages with domestic violence, intractable substance abuse, multiple affairs, etc, where it is healthier to end the marriage. I love a lot of the ideas Shefali puts forth, especially about consciousness and the power of now. In this arena, the way divorce is described here, the words feel glib. Divorce with children involved is a big deal and in many cases, all avenues need to be considered before the breakup of a family. Self-actualization does not rise to the bar for a reason to terminate a marriage. One can find ways to keep a family together while pursuing goals, even if a little sacrifice is required and not everyone has their needs met 100%.
Art Nelson Everyone's situation is different, so I couldn't judge someone else's decision to divorce or what's better time if only one person is committed to working on the marriage. Kids seem to get the worse of the fallout from my POV. How do you make it work when a concubine and their offspring from your partner is involved, but your spouse is wanting to keep his other family a secret?
❤❤❤
Thank you so much for this. Many turned there back on me and some have brought up G-d would be very mad or never intended this but after 17 years I am finally feeling free after problems women should not have to do all alone all the time. Thank you
Well, it is actually true that God never intended divorce. That is the only portion of your comment I could speak to with any surety.
@@ringforthrev Hopefully you never go through things I did. God doesn't want you unhappy and miserable and if it is hurting your family he sure doesn't . You may stand with that but I will never.
@@ringforthrev I do want to say that I can say nothing bad about him and God has changed him for the better but I would never suggest to anyone getting a divorce to go and slander there ex in anyway and only to wish them the best. Both of us came to this agreement and it was best for our children also. We agreed on everything and never even fought in court.
@@jessicabrock8667 Yes, we are put in difficult circumstances sometimes and have to make hard choices where neither seems good at the time. I have been on both sides, currently I'm the one that caused the majority of pain/difficulty. I hear what you're saying, thanks for responding
@@ringforthrev May God bless you always and make his face shine upon you!
Sometimes it's hard 😕
longevity...woow good point
What about the kids
💯
Divorce is also a way of earning for many pros.
1:22
It is failure, at least on someone's part
Divorce means you didn't listen to your own intuition.
Just another piece of the man made system/indoctrination. I love your work/courage = FREEDOM to be whole :)
divorce is the end of sadness
R u Happy now???
Plz tell
What the heck???
Nice try to coat a break of a lifetime commitment as a beautiful thing.
Teaching your kids that family and friends are disposable.
Dad : hey kids if you ever encounter anyone that no longer serves you just kiss them good bye.
Kid : OK. I good bye dad
Hinestly if those are your beliefs it's totally OK but please don't get married and don't have kids that will grow up to be disconnected from humanity. That don't know about commitment or unconditional love.
This is bothering you for a reason.. find out why and you'll understand the meaning of true commitment and unconditional love.
Just let them divorce, it's better than enduring their shit every day
I just wish you included also some homosexual couples to make the video more inclusive.
best words ever said
I was husband number 3 and did not like it so now I'm on my first ex wife ha ha
It is interesting that many who are anti divorce no matter what will use the following scripture as justification for their view:
“But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery”. (Matt. 5:32)
Here we have a scripture that has been greatly misunderstood and has caused much trouble in the world. Many religions have forbidden divorce because of these words of Jesus.
Notice that Jesus said that the only justifiable cause of divorce is “fornication”. The prevalent belief among Christians is that fornication is sex between two unmarried persons or between two married people not married to each other. But here Jesus uses fornication as an act between married couples. Therefore, the meaning intended by Jesus is not the one attributed to the word by people of today.
Actually, fornication may not even involve sex, for in the context it is used throughout the Bible, it means “to be alienated from” or “to remove one’s heart from”.
Thus, if the wife’s heart is alienated from her husband, he may justifiably divorce her. God often called Israel his wife and when she committed fornication against Him and removed her heart from the true God and worshipped idols, she committed fornication against Him and He gave Israel, his wife, a bill of divorcement.
It is t his way with people. If their energies are not correctly matched and balanced, they commit fornication and become alienated and should get a divorce.
On the other hand, if the wife’s heart is with her husband and the husband divorces a wife who is committed to him, he “causeth her to commit adultery”. In other words, he causes her heart to forcibly seek someone else who may be at a wrong point of evolution. “And whosoever shall marry her that is divorced (wrongfully divorced) committeth adultery”. If a man marries a woman whose heart is still with her original husband, there is produced an imbalance of energy and this is what true adultery and fornication are.
Thus we see that the words of Jesus that have been used to cause much pain in prolonging relationships that should have never been - actually point toward the common sense that humanity has adopted in modern times.
On the other hand, when one divorces frivolously, on a whim, or because of betrayal with another person definite harm can come. It is generally recognized that a committed couple, especially with children should do everything in their power to rekindle their love and live together in peace.
My parents divorced when I was twelve. This was a painful experience for us all but a necessary one. I’m sure my sweet mother would have died much earlier if she would have stayed with my dad - for life would have been very difficult for her. As it was she quit smoking and drinking, got a job, became self-sufficient and has helped and inspired many people.
Divorse Is Sorry mlm And I Hate It
I am truly perplexed by this video.
First- who on earth considers longevity as the only criteria for a successful marriage, as you claim? I haven’t met a single person thinking this way, and I work with couples and families every day.
Secondly, if marriage is about one thing only, growth, and you find that it does not exist in the marriage anymore, wouldn’t it make sense to at least attempt recreate it before you ‘release’? You say nothing about this in your video.
And thirdly, a divorce that involves children creates huge challenges for them. For a start, they will not have access to both parents all the time anymore. The idea that if you are at peace, having completed your own marriage cycle they will be at peace with this too is an illusion. Your children are not an extension of you and they have their own needs, perspectives and developmental paths which are different from yours.
Having said that, I do believe that divorce is sometimes necessary. But please do not romanticize it.
You speak eloquently and your video is beautifully made, but your message, in my view, is misguided.
Enjoy Your Children I consider longevity as one of the key indicators of a successful marriage and I’m pretty sure MOST people agree with me. It is ingrained in our DNA that long marriage equals success; this is why 40, 50, 60+ year marriages are admired by people and something that our culture heavily endorses as desired mode of behaviour. And therefore anything that breaks that expectation, i.e. divorce is considered a failure.
Second, this video offers a perspective that divorce may not be a bad thing given the enormous GUILT and SHAME people feel, myself included, over leaving a marriage. The video isn’t literal with a message that “divorce is good and if you don’t grow just leave”; rather it’s saying that sometimes in life things don’t work out and divorce may be necessary. It’s offering an alternative view that in some cases it’s better to leave an unhealthy marriage that you know isn’t good for you long term, than stay and be miserable forever.
And it’s not minimising the pain and difficulty that kids and families suffer as a result of divorce. That still stands. It’s there and it will be there for a long time. BUT it can also be a way for us to grow through that pain, anger, disappointment, sadness. This is the whole point of the video and how I see it, and it has really HELPED me to feel less guilty about being the person who left.
Enjoy Your Children Oh, and the comment that our children are not an extension of us, that they have their own needs etc. - absolutely true. But again, this isn’t ignoring their needs and feelings and struggles- it is simply saying if you perceive divorce as this tragic, awful event and this is your ONLY view of divorce then this will forever affect the way your family and kids perceive it too. The fact is, divorce can be brutal, devastating, sad and challenging, and the consequences of a divorce can be long term. But they don’t have to be. Divorce isn’t a life sentence, and people can move on, learn from it and grow. And we can become more resilient and teach out kids to stand firmly in the suffering of their life and meet those emotions hands on.
@@Ada_Isabella I completely agree that sometimes divorce is the right thing to do and can be beneficial for children in the long run. I also agree that seeing divorce as a disaster or failure can be awful to parent and children. It’s good to hear that the video can help parents feel less guilty about leaving a marriage, I am the last person who would wish to devalue this.
However, the video does make some clear statements that in my view are inaccurate. It states that in our culture longevity is the only criteria by which people assess the quality of a marriage, and this is far from my experience (at least, this is not the case here in London). People here do not admire long, miserable marriages at all. They do admire long, loving and supportive ones.
The same goes for my other points. Perhaps this is a matter of style rather than substance, but I did find the suggestion that if a relationship does not allow for growth then leaving it is OK, with no mention of trying to improve it, together with the promise that if you are at peace with the divorce so will be your children, a bit simplistic. Children need much more than that, in particularly they need their pain and confusion to be acknowledged, and this is glossed over in the video.
It seems to me that you and I are in agreement about divorce and children, but perhaps not about the video itself…
Thanks for replying to my comment and all the very best to you and to your family 😊
I totally agree with you and am saddened by her self-serving approach to divorce. It has deep and permanent emotional consequences for the kids! This is probably why kids are so violent and depressed nowadays. I know that was the case for me as far as violence toward the self and growing up with deep abandonment wounds. It's something that should be a last resort, not ruining kids' lives over "growth"
Sometimes it's better to get divorced that to teach your children it's ok to stay in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage
Who in the hell is saying that only longevity defines a successful marriage? Never heard anyone say that but you sister
What if one person still loves the other but the other doesn't? Can't be very positive or life affirming for the broken hearted. Can't help but see this video as yet another me me me thing. more millennial narcissist rhetoric. Both want a divorce is another matter. But don't get married because you think it will be an easy life.
Man is sinful marriage is made from God in the garden Adam and Eve people .Lord forgive us because we think that other people will make you happy all the time .Life is hard please put God first in your life Jesus Christ loves you more thats why he died for you on the cross.Think about this you will stand before The Almighty King and the books will be opened about your life. Divorce is not the end of the world but remember going from people too people will never make you happy only God can do that.nuff said.
She's not Christian.. and doesn't believe in a vengeful God that'll "punish" you if you're not "good".
@@rpaafourever7908 Don't get me wrong i was married too at one time.I remember the words you say too as husband and wife too one another better or worst richer or poorer till death do you part sickness or in health.Today people don't believe that if your not happy i'm out or we don't have enough money or a big house i'm out .If you get the big D its not the end of the world.Remember on that day when The Lord calls you before him you will answer him about your life .You can say i don't believe in God he believe in you thats why you are here my friend.John3.16
@@jeffreycollier4220 You might be in for a surprise if you think God will "judge" you based on whether you followed a set of rules or not.. God is so much more than what a single book has to say. Anyway.. you do you!
@@rpaafourever7908 The Lord Jesus Christ loves you so much he died for you and me.I wish you the best i'm trusting in him God's son Jesus he's all i have .I believe because of you he blessed you with beauty.nuff said.
If marriage is only about growth surely you'll inevitably have failing marriages. It cannot be the case you are always growing in a marriage. It's more realistic to say there'll be some down, most of it flat and some up where the up should outweigh the down. Most your days will be pretty standard. Just think about when you interact with any human and talk about how a day has gone or what they got up to on the weekend. It's everything you have heard before, no one is doing anything extra special or superhuman.
amen!
This nonchalant self-serving approach to divorce harms the children involved. So easy to walk away over "growth" while the children are left to grow up with the emotional wounds. You can't rationalize with kids while their time spent with each parent is suddenly split apart in separate households. Sorry, the emotional consequences are real and marriage has been around way longer than Dr Shefali. This generation of children from divorced households is violent and depressed because they don't have consistent access to both parents. I'm sad for the amount of marriages that will end and the children left suffering due to her teachings. Too bad you couldn't make your marriage work with all your "knowledge" but don't ruin other kids' lives! I'm sorry, but if her kids could speak honestly, they would say their mom is crazy and ruined their lives with her new age bs
@Luce S had they separated they would still have those issues and on top of all their issues you would've had to hear more fighting over schedules, holidays, etc, more stress from both having to carry a household on their own, had less time with each parent, and had to bounce from home to home. You have no idea because youre parents did the right thing and stuck together. The breakdown of the family sucks for my generation
Now I'm torn, I don't know what to do...
@@esinfa marriage is hard but worth the work. After 6 years of arguing the same issues my husband is finally mature enough to make compromises for me, and I feel secure with him. We all have growth to do, and hopefully it can be done together. If your husband hears you out and wants to save the family it's probably worth trying. If he doesn't care about the marriage/family and seems self-absorbed that's another story
@@erheaflower4318 ah.. just like I thought.. You want everyone to make a "sacrifice" like you did lol
You can only continue to grow in a relationship when you don’t end it. Unless you are being abused, how do you know you will not grow together if you continue to stay together? Poor justification of personal choice.
Nope, you can't continue to grow in a relationship if the other person doesn't want to communicate or put in the work. I mean, you could stay married on paper but a relationship? Nah
@@rpaafourever7908
Don’t get caught up in the culture. Where commitment and responsibility doesn’t matter!!
@@tylerh1163 Don't get caught up in the culture, where sticking with unhealthy relationships, where one person actually is completely unwilling to communicate and put in the work to mutually meet each other's needs, means "commitment and responsibilty".
Most of those who stick around long term in such non relationships are doing so, for reasons other than "love" or even "growth", because it's the opposite of that. More like the fear of an apparently vengeful "GOD"/religious trauma, fear of change, abandonment, financial insecurity, losing adult children's support, disapproval of friends/family members, insecurity about finding another secure partner, sunk cost investment, alimony blah blah blah... give me a break.
So nice that the rest of society will have to deal with the emotionally wounded kids from the divorces she's encouraging over lack of "growth." Not okay to tear apart a family over something so small! The kids are left growing up with abandonment and betrayal wounds, depression, violence, and lack of focus. Marriage is not just for the two people involved, it's the basis of a society that produces mentally stable adults! Dr Shefali will get her karma for promoting stuff like this. Divorce is a last resort and a failure. Why not find a way to grow together, not give up on the family!
Well, when you've watched your mother get choked out by daddy for the 8th time in 3 months you start to see the cracks in logic such as yours. Divorce is often a necessity. If the marriage is salvageable, then yes, by all means head to counseling. But if you're being serial abused, cheated, disrespected and uncared for; then it's time to dip. Sorry. Go back to your sexless Ben shapiro videos where you came from.
@@Rampagelil most divorces are not from such extreme physical abuse half wit. Look at the video. People just give up out of selfishness instead of being willing to put in some sacrifice and work. Sorry you saw what you saw, I've witnessed physical abuse too. But more often than that I see adults who still suffer emotional distress from childhood divorce over laziness and infidelity. People expect a passionate fairytale instead if prioritizing commitment and family values
@@erheaflower4318 Children in a bad marriage cause more havoc in society than children whose parents separate amicably.. you wouldn't be up in arms about this if your own marriage was strong. Now before you attack me, think about it for a sec.
So marriage is mutable and changeable at any moment? There is nothing permanent? How can that be good for a kid? "I can leave you at any moment. Afterall, chances are that Mom's gonna get full custody and so you won't see me as often. It's ok, this is healthy you dont need your Dad around all the time anyway. There is no love like a mother's love." Come on. I understand taking time apart to examine the terms of the relationship but ending a marriage entirely? Nah.
lol says a guy obviously..
@@rpaafourever7908 it has nothing to do with being a guy. All I'm saying is that it takes maturity and strength to stay together and work through the issues. It takes zero effort to end a marriage and chances are that none of the two parties learn anything about themselves or why things went wrong in the first place. This woman is giving terrible advice for human development.
@@JoshAlicea1229 We know your comment was about being bitter about child custody and all that. You have to understand that things are not always fair just like most men on average get paid more have more career growth opportunities even after having kids and have less domestic/child rearing responsibilities in a typical household but do you focus on that.. no you don’t.. everybody watches out for themselves. We as humans, try to neatly fit everything into a box to make sense of it, but in reality, the truth is more than any of us can comprehend.
It actually takes a lot more effort to end a marriage than begin it, legally or even otherwise, especially with kids so very few actually take it that lightly.
Not all people divorce or indeed, stay in marriages for the "right" reasons (which is basically to do with spiritual laziness so to speak, not others' judgement). But everyone has their own journey and maybe that is what they needed at this time for THEIR growth.
Also, what happens if your partner does not want to communicate, be vulnerable at all or put in the effort to go to therapy? Like forever? And you are doing all of those things. Then you aren't really 'relating', are you? This is what people in the past did not get, and I don't blame them. They married for economic and socio-religious reasons than personal ones yet dressed it up as spirituality or spiritual duty. Prevented social anarchy so made sense.
Kids are smarter, they know. They can tell if you're sticking it out in a bad marriage. If you can't improve your marriage, the next best thing is to leave rather than keep fighting and ride it out. That damages them beyond belief.
Marriage is important for the married yes, but not at the cost of your truth. It's no longer about flogging a dead horse and making a marriage last on paper for security, social status or even pseudo-spirituality when it doesn't make sense per your conscience. You have to know when to stay and put in your 100% absolutely but you also have to know when to walk away.
On that note, we expect "unconditional love" from our partners because we did not get it from our parents. And because we did not get it from our parents, we do not realise that we already love ourselves at the soul level. We become insecure so hate "divorce". It reminds us of the pain we have been trying to forget our entire lives. All this has nothing to do with your marriage, and everything to do with you. Love yourself first and everything falls into place, divorce or not.
This is horrible!! You people lack understanding that marriage is God designed not man! Reasons why the world is so messed up! You take the focus off responsibility and make it about feelings!
This is destructive propaganda straight up.
DOCTORKHANblog What is destructive propaganda, divorce or growth?
A fan of her ... BUT This is ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE advice!!!
How about letting go of the ego like she advocates and think about what’s best for the child ... find a way to make it work for the child.. you’d be surprised how easy things get how even the impossible becomes possible once the ego is out of the way.
SOOO DISAPPOINTED.
Esme S and Then kids, once they grow up and leave home may ask; mom why didnt you search for your peace ?. Why were you not true to yourself?. Why didn’t you get a divorce?. At least I did.
This is always why you wait to hear the reasons when someone says they are getting a divorce.
Abuse: please, get out now.
Cheating: please, get out now.
Swindler: please, get out now.
Mental illness: if they refuse to comply with treatment, please, get out now.
Someone comes out of the closet: not much you can do.
What I have a problem with is “I don’t love you anymore.”
Your married before God till death do you part. For better or for worse.
No it's just hated by God. Nothing much.
Not true your wrong
Only satan would ever say divorce is not bad. It happens and it is so wrong, but to say it is not bad is wicked.
So a violant, toxic, aggressive bad marriage are better and a good divorce ?
Divorce is immoral. You picked the bad parrner, now live with it.
Keep a toxic relationship, or a violant marriage is a even worst immoral thing.
HAHAHAHA
You're a fucking idiot!
Looks like you're living with it lol
Dreadful video , marriage should always be worked on.