Men VS Women When It Comes To Body-Count
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- Опубліковано 22 чер 2024
- Dr Andrew G Thomas explains what science says about the optimal body count we want our partner to have. Does body count matter? Do men and women differ in how many partners they want their significant other to have?
#bodycount #dating #sex
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If a key opens many locks, then it is a master key; if a lock can be opened with any key, then the lock is useless.
There could not be a better demonstration of, "Trust what people do, not what they say," than this study.
exactly what I was thinking and also their data was most probably obtained by self reporting, which males tend to overreport and females tend to underreport their bodycount
I can't help but suspect the guy
For social "science" (i.e,. not falsifiable) it's worth considering if the researcher has a wife and daughters
Such men have a vested interest in white-knighting women
I've seen it too many times
Absolutely! We all see the. Men women gravitate to. They clearly don’t care about body count. That know men commit when they want to and they are trying to be there when the time is right.
Ah look, found the coping redpiller! I'm guessing you're gonna tell me surveys don't matter because Fresh & Fit has an evopsych paper with 4 citations (which he hasn't read) that says actually women are biological wh*res because science? Or perhaps because of your own anecdotes? Thrilling. Remarkable.
@@atjov0013it starts in high school. As soon as you grow a few hairs on your balls, everyone won’t stop talking about boobs n banging
More partners creates more comparisons and therefore less satisfaction in relationships.
Yep and then you get called insecure 😂
More partners is not equal to more relationships so your argument falls flat
@@plokijuh5830 it seems like Your argument is flat, because You misunderstood his comment. Read it again
Especially females with high bodycount
More partners indicate that a person is less of a "relationship-person" as a personality type. Thats how the partner count got high in the first place. Such a person is generally more unhappy in relationships than others and hence not relationship material.
When you start forgetting the reasons why you were attracted to them in the first place, it probably means you should slow down...
In my case, I know why I liked all of them in the first place -they were all blonde, tall (or taller than me, more like it) and light colored eyes. Then came their personalities.
🥶 Obsession is short.
@@ameliepoulain4654 It's me you're discribing lol... As for me I don't care about personality when it comes to shags (as long as they're not unsufferable) but the ones I actually liked as girlfriends were all beautiful, agreeable, enthusiastic and sexually reserved.
05:40 I actually believed this Redpill non-sense, my wife actually told me that my high partner count is a turn-off. Promiscuity is seen as unattractive by people who are good at pair-bonding, regardless if it's a man or woman.
Well, she still married you so it wasn't as much of a turn-off as you think.
@@StreetWarrior24 Probably told her late into the relationship when she had already caught feelings
Well, at that point, it's your experience lvl vs low body count. Women will probably pick a guy with better experience in bed over us guys who pick lower body count
What were you expecting your wife to say? "I always wanted to pair-bond with a chad who has seeded as many women as Genghis Khan?"
It's absolutely true that women are repulsed by men with a high body count .
This myth that it's fine for men is perpetuated as a free pass for men.
I work as a clinical social worker in the mental health field with adults. Re: low body count, it's important to consider trauma. A lot of people have been victims of S.assult and physical abuse. Male and female, across all age ranges. Some will often shield themselves from sex/relationships altogether long into adulthood. Great episode 👏🏽
People asked about the number of past sexual partners they've had NEVER include molestations. People *asking* about the number of past sexual partners another person has had NEVER expect molestations to be included. Thus, your introducing the topic of "trauma" into this discussion is a distraction/diversion.
@@alexmuenster2102 I don’t think the comment advocates to include those numbers but rather suggests that data could have an understatement bias because of the effect of sexual trauma on future relationships. A person with trauma may choose to abstain more than a person without it, leading to an ultimately lower body count and, in turn, expectations of a lower body count for a partner.
@@chandambao4751 >>person with trauma may choose to abstain more
Uh .. not in cases of w0men I've dated. Two of biggests $lut$ i dated were *both* s3xually a$$saulted when they were young. One by an Uncle, the other by an older brother. The Uncle GF had to be in the dozens, while the brother one had to be way over 100, for body counts.
It has nothing to do with abstaining from sex. It has to do with abstaining from emotional connection during sex. You learn to dissociate the body from the act. You’re there but your not there. Short term partners are easier to deal with because it has nothing to do with emotions and everything to do with something that can be walked away from without pain.
Or so they convince themselves of that. It comes at a price. An extremely high price. What’s even worse is when they finally understand that price no one bothers to listen to their advice because they are considered garbage worthy of nothing but distain.
The less the better.
Also the less porn the better
i totally agree with the danger of porn
Totally agree
So virgins are the best?
@@karljonson3287 until marriage, yup. Traditional wisdom tends to hold up.
@@sol-hunter2332 good luck then
For me it's pretty easy
When you can't remember the names and faces of the people you have been with; then it's too many
That was the point when I slowed down.
I'm 56. It's not reasonable I'm going to remember the names and faces of people I was with in my 20s. They're irrelevant after that much time passes. I had quite a few partners when I was young but just 2 since 2003.
@@canadaisruledbyclowns7188I think it's geared more towards people in they 20s and 30s
I hear alll the time that men care about women's body count. I've had conversations with tons of my male friends and seen tons of interviews of men saying that they do care
for short-term mating*
That's just like women saying they don't care about a man's past. But 4yrs into the relationship. He brings up something from the past (before he was dating you), and she will get upset.. proof the past does matter..
And those men are insecure. I couldn't give two shits.
@Baki Kaz
Plenty of women DO care about a man's past
A womans past is one of the most important factors for a man. For a woman it's simply one of the many important things.
I did 1min fact check and it seems it's pretty liner in most studies. 1 partner is the best option and than it slowly goes down. Meaning the less partners u had the more likely you are to be happy in a marriage. Correct me if I'm wrong but at least when it comes to long term relationships the less partners u had the better as expected.
Facts
I think the study is pointing out that virgins, like myself, aren't attractive in the sense that because its a double edge sword, you are either attractive and saving yourself for marriage OR that virgin is not attractive and you are unwanted. I was wanted for a long time and couldn't get a date. I think people are kind of dumb staking everyone on this fact. People are more multifaceted. Maintaining virginity is important, but if you're not trying to grow in other ways then its not worth it. You might as well go to prostitutes' though I would never encourage it.
@Derelict Signal or they are virgins because they have no sex drive or have issues (physical or mental) around sex.
1 previous is too many.
@@DJFAmenHeavy real high odds you'll have a terrible sex life then. But better odds for a stable marriage for at least till the kids are in high school
Superb interview as always Chris!
Yo Chris, is there a link to this study? Curious minds wanna see the graphs!
Same here.
I'm a woman, 38 y.o. and I had sex with 9 different men and with 1 woman before I got married. Happily married for 13 years now and have never been really wanting anyone else than my husband since then. He used to have psychological and physical problems for several years, so that for the last 10 years we only had sex once per year or less (it's geting better now). Sex is such a vital part of a relationship for me, but I remained faithful. In my case, the high body count before marriage was mostly me not knowing what I really want and the societal pressure to always be dating someone. By the way, my husband never asked about my body count, neither did I ask him.
Also, before marriage, I used to be a webcam model (my husband knows it). And it actually was a useful experience, it made me much more relaxed and open to experiments in bed. My social skills have improved and so did my self-care.
Do you considering 9 a high count for a 30 y.o woman? Also curious how many were relationships vs casual
@@Ryan-xb3qq It was 10 overall (9 men and 1 woman). Personally I see it as high for me (age 38 now), because the experience I gained there could all have been gained within one single relationship. I mean emotional experience as well as experience in bed.
2 of them were relationships, 3 were casual for the other partner but I hoped for relationship (silly me), the rest 5 were definitely casual from my side.
@@Ryan-xb3qq 9 is high regardless of age
I think it's personal preference. For me, I really wanted one person, or as few as possible. Luckily, I got what I wanted and have only been with my husband. What I wanted in a male partner was the exact same. I wanted a partner with very very few or none.
That is an excellent question.
Saying that women will “share” a high value man does not make sense because a man who wants more than one partner makes him low value. Just fyi.
So why do all the rich men and high status men often have more than one woman?
its allways been like that also, since beginning of time.
Just read a history book and you will see that all the kings etc had multible women.
Every person I know who has been married for over 10+ years has had less than 10 sexual partners. The people I know who had more than that were never able to be faithful to their spouses or partners.
Now that I think about it 🤔 I never really asked old people how many times they screwed 😂 BUT ☝️ I have asked a ton a friends I had growing up, and basically….yea….
The more you hoe
The less you grow ❤
10 is already a ton of people.
Bingo
Increasing the number of partners leads to more comparisons and, consequently, a decrease in relationship satisfaction.
I think genetics actually plays a lot into how promiscuous a person is honestly.
@@taliaeve969 Really??
@@WorkoutCity. yes it’s called the play boy gene
@@taliaeve969 oh, Thanks!
I disagree. I have had dozens of partners but my current partner of 10 years is by far the best I've ever been with. I never knew it could be this good, and I definitely know how bad it can be. LOL I'd have never had this experience if I stopped because it was "bad" to exceed some arbitrary number.
These videos make me very grateful for my religious upbringing about how important it is to wait till marriage....it's literally a non negotiable for me
As much as I wanna just hand it out like free samples sometimes….
Ya ain’t gonna stay in business for long if you don’t charge somebody for some food 😂❤
how old are you?
Agree, this information should be more common.
That's a nice idea in theory but I know that you are not sexually compatible with every man/woman. I have had a few that I was not compatible with at all. I would not be happy to find this out after marriage as it is an important part of a relationship and having children. Good luck.
@@marniekilbourne608 But if both waited till marriage, you have no reference point so the sex will be amazing anyways. Besides you can grow as a couple, learn, discover.
For the record, this stats refer to what people think is attractive, not what predicts long term relationship health.
Good luck trying to have a serious study on this with everyone lieing. Women will often mention (unprompted) that they "don't have sex on the first date" and then by the end of the date you end up back at her place having sex. I don't even ask/talk about bodycount or prior partners and have no desire to have that conversation as it seems largely unproductive. I know that the majority of women have far more partners than they would ever report in a study that caps out at 12+ as the highest choice. Women will always round down or avoid the topic so taking any of this data as remotely accurate is a joke. There is no way the average woman is going to truthfully bubble in the highest possible number on your survey. It's just part of the dating dance where the man wants to have sex while simultaneously doing it with someone that isn't easy to get and the woman wants to shit test him and make him "earn it" first and seem like she is hard to get. It's a battle of egos where people are horny but they want to larp like they "don't usually act like this".
Thank you. Women lie about absolutely everything when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships especially when it’s going on record even if it’s anonymous. Conversely, men say they care so much about body count but if Scarlett Johansson wanted to be their gf then all of a sudden it wouldn’t matter
That's why you always ask her about her female friends, and study how she talks about the slutz. If she doesn't seem they are too slutty, they probably are them selves.
@@FunnyDolphin782 I mean I get it. I'm not trying to be overly critical of women because they definitely have to get a feel for the guy before they open up honestly about anything involving this topic. A lot of men that feel like they have underachieved sexually carry a lot of resentment with regards to body count. I remember one of my ex's that I was in a long term monogamous relationship with went on a wild streak after we broke up while I was doing my sad boy phase. We talked about it and she said that I would be doing the same thing if I could. Seemed really douchy at the time but tbh it's the truth and got me motivated to get out of my slump and work on myself again. It's just the way things work nowadays and in my mid 30s now I don't take anything seriously anymore and I am not ever going to expect some virgin saint that has just been waiting for 20 years to meet me rofl.
@@CONEHEADDK if you are a guy that doesn't judge the bodycount and they are comfortable around them the truth comes out and the mask gets dropped. Most women are constantly putting on a fake nice girl character and acting ultra polite for society but many of them are the biggest freaks. I just am amazed these dudes out here are silly enough to actually believe some hot girl in her 20s with a large social circle has a body count of 3 or whatever roflllllll.
That, and many women don't even report casual sex as counting because they weren't in a committed relationship with that man at the time. Chicks like dicks, it is what it is. Just have fun and don't be dumb enough to get married unless you are doing it for its actual original purpose of politically aligning your house to another.
I assume there is a connection to the average sexual partners of each person. If one has a high body count that person would also be more open to a high body count from the potential partner in my opinion. I believe "4" is not to far from this average (in Germany/Middle Europe)
Or maybe you just can’t trust their genitals 🤔
Wanting a short term relationship seems like such a waist of time. Time is the one commodity we’ll never get back why waste it with someone you don’t see a future with.
>>short term relationship seems like such a waist [waste] of time
@@alexmuenster2102 hireing a vehicle gives you transport and opportunities, what does a short term relationship give you? fun that you'll forget in a month for alot of investment.
@@Jay-vt1mw Wrong! A short-term relationship can provide just as much "added-value" and long-term enrichment as a good steak meal served with fine wine. It can provide pleasant memories that will last a lifetime. It can relieve pent-up pressure in one's seminal vesicle. I could go on...
As a woman I was skeptical of a man who had even 1 sexual partner. I didn’t want someone who isn’t a virgin so I’m not sure how these numbers add up.
So you want only virgins? Are you a virgin? It sounds like you aren't. Personally I don't want a virgin. Being their first is too much to carry around. It's a huge decision to give it up.
@@canadaisruledbyclowns7188 yes I was before I married a man who also was. Its a pretty easy decision if you’re married to them .
Fact is a male is never virgin. The hymen is the virginity, masturbation is sex.
@@canadaisruledbyclowns7188wouldn’t that be the exact reason why that huge decision should be connected to the other huge decision on choosing who your going to spend the rest of your life with.
The numbers add up just fine, don't worry...
I'm 62 and have been with only 13. Never married. Still got the juice and healthy.
@@dddayesq5061 just saying : 👍🏻🍀✝️🇺🇲👊🏻
If its becoming habitual, and out of habit because its 'expected' then its time to concider fewer sexual partners, untill you meet someone, that you've rembered from the night before.
When my wife and I started dating, I was 21 and she was 19. She had 2 people before me, and I was a virgin. She is the only sexual partner I have ever had. We have now been together 25 years, married 23 years. To this day, it still really bothers me that she was my first and only, and I was her 3rd. I wish I could let it go, but it secretly pisses me off really bad. Body count matters.
I've had 2 total, and that was already too many by 2 .
😊
Two by the age of two is a lot
If you aren't ready to have kids why bother randomly hooking up
Stay single stay on the grind
So glad I was born in 1970. I would hate to be dating today.
Yes that fixes the problem the rest of the people have, thank you
It's a nightmare. A huge mess.
I feel bad for younger gen , who never went to a disco 🪩 🕺 💃🏾 or a 1980s dance club
It's a meaningless mess 😢
Me too. Seems the younger gen don't hardly have sex at all. What is the big deal? It's just sex. We're meant to do it. Y'all are making too big a deal about it. It's not going to kill you to have a few partners. (Though you might catch something, do be careful).
Agree that 4-5 would be optimal, but I wonder if this is just a conflated ideological fantasy? Sort of like the online dating profiles of women listing essentially the unicorn Chad. Yeah, they exist, but what's the likelihood of actually landing one?
Wonder if there is any filter for age? Meaning 'how many sexual partners per decade of adulthood?' For instance, if I'm considering dating a woman in her late 40s I would expect her to have had more sexual partners than a girl in her early 20s.
and you would be wrong considering that in the last decades with each passing year people have become more sexually promiscuous. XD
@@razvan4188 Really? Younger generations are having less sex and are less interested in sex it seems.
@@dumfriesspearhead7398 I know. I said more promiscuous. Not more sex. When it comes to girls they have sex with more different people than before.
Yes she will have had relationships before you.
It's only the kids that care about "body count" anyway. So I doubt a woman in her 40s or maybe even 30s matter
One night stands reduce value A LOT.!
Is it me? I'm a bit confused about the whole 'short-term' term. I don't think I've ever looked at a potential girlfriend as 'short-term.' I've been in relationships where at some point, I've thought "She isn't for me" but never in the beginning. Of course I'm one of those guys with a 'low body count' (a terrible phrase, btw).
You're physically attracted to someone, but there are major red flags / differences where you know you won't be with that partner for 7+ years. Could be their: attitude towards money; their weight; how you two argue; her extended family; whether one of you relocates or plans to; etc.
I agree that the term 'body count' is TERRIBLE. How dehumanising.
@@permissiontoshine people who rack those numbers up dehumanize themselves so it's alright to use it
@@FeterPrahm I won't use it. I feel sorry for most people caught in this kind of false reality sold to them as 'success'.
@@Idontknowhoiamanymore ummmnnnhhh - body count is used during war - 'the body count from this attack is...' and for death tolls from natural disasters; mass murders and more. Anywhoooo, I'm not here to argue the finer points of language and grateful I'm not part of anyone's body count sexually.
Women don't seem to care about body count but I am certain men do. On the point where men were asked individually, was it anonymous? A lot of men won't tell you they care about it in the fear that they will get cancelled.
Women DO care about body count and don't want guys with high body counts either.
Women do care about high body cou t Who wants a man who has been round the block 50 times.
@@jodawson5268 Most women choose that man over the one with low body count. It's a fact.
I’m a dude and wondering if my high partner count has prevented me from pair bonding
No. Guys can always pair bond again. Just remember, women can not love men. Number 1 predictor of divorce is the employment status of the male. You lose your job, and the clock is ticking. You do not need to pair bond with a woman but she needs to pair bond to you.
Possibly.
Statistically in both men and women bonding decreases after 6 partners
You just found the truth. That no person is ideal. Most people that settle with low body count are just compromising.
Yes it affects women more but can affect men as well.
Most likely there was a large reason people advocated waiting till marriage
Depends on whether you're a man or a woman. Men can more easily have a lot of sexual partners without being emotionally affected. Women usually can't. The second they understand they're nothing more than a body to most of the guys they had sex with, it breaks them.
No joke, I knew a woman that had sex with lots of guys and was getting angry because they wouldn't have anything more to do with her(to be fair, she was a coont most of the time but an easy 8). She came up with the bright idea of turning the tables and was gonna give the next guy whatever he wanted and when he came back for more, tell him she was just using him and decline. Except she didn't get that call and she went NUTS.
Women aren't equipped to handle meaningless sex the way guys can. Just basic facts.
@@joane24 Men on average can manage their emotions better than women. THAT'S why it affects them less; they can reason and understand that the interaction does not have a 'deeper' meaning than it actually does while women tend to believe the opposite. Which, to some degree, is understandable since they are more vulnerable and they are literally allowing someone inside of them.
Your explanation to your beliefs demonstrate what I said; you cannot separate your emotional response to what you read(likely because many women _feel_ men are essentially just mal-adjusted women) from men's ability not to be controlled by their feelings. i.e. they can tell the difference between the act of sex being done simply for physical pleasure and that of an actual connection with a person.
The horrible truth that none of us want to hear. Because there's a certain vindictive element to "fucking like a man" for women. Only, we end up playing ourselves instead. We also get dehumanised and have crappy sex more often than not, in the process.
@@joane24 Women can get pregnant once every nine months, men can ejaculate several times a day. Extrapolate from there on why men and women have a different relationship with sex.
Also women don't have to work for sex. At least nothing compared to what a man has to do for it
@@black-aliss Thank you, yes. And some guys fall into this as well, but, mostly women and it DOESN'T help anyone. Even though guys can separate sex from love, if they can combine both, it's better. Even the few guys I know that have been with loads of women have said it. The guys are happier, the women are happier, and on the whole, relationships are stronger.
Were male and female virgins equally undesirable? It wasn't clear from the video.
Also it's kind of a wacky question because really it's about relationships. Both men and women are going to ask the question is my partner capable of a stable relationship, in that context 12 is actually a pretty high number.
Women are the gate keepers. A man that is allowed to open many gates, has qualities. A gate that many men could open, is a lousy gate. Or lock and key, if you like the comparision better.
@@CONEHEADDK a promiscuos man also destroys his capacity of pair bonding, the ironic thing is that the manosphere quotes studies attacking women and yes they are right, but in those studies also show that men are affected by promiscuity too. not in the same rate as women but anyway affected too.
@@castiel4746 Not always, but he can reduce the chance of succes a lot, in many ways. I've critisized some of the mano-guys for "demanding" high value men, for average or even low value men. Don't really recall any answers, at lest not notifications. A former girlfriend qoted someone for: "Men want to be the womans first. Women want to be the mans last." I've seen that many times - most women don't care about their mans count, as long as he's stopped counting with them. I said for years, that men shouldn't "be allowed" ti marry before they were 35.. Men that can pick and choose usually can't resist it, but growin older helps.
@@CONEHEADDK im just basing my argumetn in the studies....if a woman want to be his last after many the studies point out that probably she wont be her last becasue he can not pair bond either.
thats all, the problem that i see in the manosphere is that hipocresy... i agree 304s must be attacked , but 304s ar not created by themselves promiscuous man also help in the desctruction of the current society. "alphas" or whatever you wanna call them. and the studies are clear "alphas" also suck to be fathers and pair bond. is a realaity.
and then it enteres the dinamic alpha seed beta need... woman want alpha seed but want the beta to take care and provide... and men have to start to awake and not wife up these 304s.
There is no way that male and female virgins are equally undesirable. Female virgins may be undesirable because it's odd and you might say to yourself "That's strange. I wonder why". However, male virgins are virgins BECAUSE they are undesirable. It is a causal relationship. Then, they are undesirable because they are virgins.
2 is too many. Take inventory of those who chose right and they’re the most happy. The more the worst!
No. It's like people who don't drink....all your stories are boring...People who havent experienced and made mistakes havent lived at all.
@@WesTV if you need to bang women to have stories you're doing something wrong.
👏 Where do I find you? 😂
@@WesTV Nah, we were just raised better than you :)
@@WesTVwhat a stupid comparison. Partners vs drinking? You can't be serious
If you are having sex with someone and not considering marriage and family, you are part of the problem, and passing the trauma of adding to the womans body count to the next guy. I think it is super selfish if you both have not discussed marriage and waited a while to get to know one another, their family, and values. The idea that marrying a virgin is to be avoided is ridiculous. Delayed gratification is so much better. We as a society have separated family and sex and it is blatantly apparent. We are not here to fuck and then have families, we are here to have families and have sex and communicate the wonder of sex with family rather than hide our pasts. It is not good for anyone to have dark spots in our past that prevent us from being free. Children sense this behavior and then mimic the examples set before them, and the cycle gets worse every generation.
Absolute nonsense and an incredible amount of entitlement. You're basically saying that because other men are insecure, men shouldn't have sex with women they don't want to marry? I'd say a man caring about a women's body count is more an insecurity on the man. Let people live their life, jesus christ
@@user-xx7tv7cc1y it’s absolutely nothing to do with insecurity, I’m extremely self assured, I know who I am, and I know what I want out of life. Yet if I find out a woman’s got a high number of sexual partners, I am disgusted to my very core. I see it as a sign of degeneracy, pain and insecurity, of which I don’t want to be passed down to my offspring if this woman was to mother my children. Societal monogamy should be encouraged or else the future will be very very grim for both genders, believe me
@@olsmarshall Well, other people see it differently. And to say they are "part of the problem", just makes you sound like a religious nut. People are free to do what they want, it's entirely possible for people to have many sexual partners and still be normal human beings. I can almost guarantee there's many things about you that would disgust other people, but the key is that they let you live. Live and let live. "degeneracy, pain and insecurity," or, they love having sex with many different people because of the variety of things they can find out about themselves.
@Oliver Marshall
Are you disgusted with yourself to the very core if you do it recreationally and have a high body count?
@@wyleecoyotee4252 yes
So how do they know how many partners people had, was this all self-reported?
>>was this all self-reported?
@@alexmuenster2102 Then it suffers from a garbage in garbage out problem
Clickbait. My count is 3 and I'm turning 50 this year. One early mistake, the woman I married and had a kid with and now the woman I'm with. What the hell does it matter? All I know is that I'm happy with the woman I'm with, and sex comes from the relationship - not the other way around.
How about this. People telling you what they desire mightbe and often is very different from what attracts them really.
Questionnaires are unreliable.
Over how many years? 10 by the time you are 18 is not the same as 10 by the time you are 40.
How about we stop counting and start treating each other with respect.
Ask yourself/potential partner what’s my/your ultimate goal in dating and hold yourself accountable for your own actions rather than engaging in high risk behaviours and hypocritically judging others for the same?
so ur are a 304
🤣🤣🤣 You're right, it's the counting that's the issue here. If we didn't count age no one would get old. If we didn't count money we would all be rich. If we didn't count bodies everyone would be a suitable mate. Oh wait that's idiotic nonsense.
@@FoolioDisplacius Typical NPC Behavior. Women ☕ ha ha ha
Sorry Amelia but your past will always follow you.
“A good laugh is sunshine in the house.”- William Makepeace Thackeray
Thanks for the sunshine boys. 😂
Beware! Important difference: Women prefer a Chad with low count but they will still choose him over avg Joe even if Chads count is in the hundreds. Meanwhile a guy will pick the avg girl over the hot babe in the same situation!
While it may be true that men and women have a similar preference in partner count when it comes to relationships, this statistic DOES NOT reveal how DECISIVE this preference is compared to other parameters
Women can’t rate guys properly they wouldn’t even know what a chad is
Having watched PLENTY of young guys ignore or try to backburner good women in the pursuit of getting laid as much & as quickly as possible, I can say without a doubt, many guys will pick just as poorly as a lot of women do. Especially when they're young.
@@justacoginthefkery Not for a relationship, only for P&D
@@SirCalculator I've definitely watched it & warned several guys what they were getting themselves into. They didn't ever want to listen though. Young guys especially have a short-term, path-of-least-resistance mentality which more often than not does bite them in the a$$.
Then there's the fact that a guy has to be in the right headspace to notice, appreciate & keep a good woman when she comes along. If a dude is stuck in the p&d mentality, he's only going to see every chick as a potential lay until he shifts gears to do & find better. A good woman's personality & character doesn't mean anything to guy who ONLY wants to get laid which is something a lot of ppl seem to forget. You can't be chasing both thots & good women at the same time either... no one lands a quality catch while they're splashing around in shallow mudpuddles.
@@kc6810 Yeah they are, why are women known for gassing up there friends or random women then? Telling 4s that they look gorgeous or hot….. yeah frickin great at rating bro
I wish I knew that when I turned 20.
3:10 : or they could have been dating but know to save themselves for marriage instead of losing self control
What a depressive world we live in
I'm curious how much porn impacts pair bonding, because I know it does, but it's hardly studied to my understanding.
There definitely are some studies out there on this. It's just that particular feild of study is still relatively new since the p*rn boom only really ramped up with the increase of technology.
Part of what scientists are seeing is that since oxytocin (the bonding hormone) is released during org@sm, it essentially causes regular p*rn users to bond to p*rn instead of an actual person. Coupled with the ease of availability & the dopamine rush, you have the spark of addiction.
You’re reaching now lol it has nothing to do with pairbonding…
Im under 10 by a few. And I often simultaneously feel it is too many and too few. I have no issues with being with a virgin, the odds of finding one in my 30s is close to 0%. But i wouldnt be with someone who has more than me.
You're too promiscuous. You can't pair bond anymore.
@@sarahrobertson634 there are studies suggesting that for men they aren't affected as much by a higher number of partners than women are, so i disagree with you.
@@sarahrobertson634 lol you have no clue about me. You couldnt be farther from the truth.
@@sarahrobertson634 Nonsense, that’s were I was at when I got married. Still married after decades to the same person.
@@jayc342009 you are right "not as much" but they are also affected, a 5 in a woman is like a 7 or 8 body count in a man.
Me at 30 with zero…..
who cares? your not missing out on anything dont force it like bukowski said...."Dont try"
@@brentchackel8649how do I know that?
atleast you’re clean 😊
Surprised age wasn’t even mentioned. One would think it’s an important factor.
I still think there has to be somewhat of a difference in how people view it from the male and female side. For a man to have a high body count, he has to put a lot of work in or have something impressive going on for him: fame, success, charisma. For an average or even below average woman to have a high body count she just has to say yes and breathe. It's more impressive to do something hard than easy, that's where the perceived distinction comes from.
both are for the streets regardless the gender, filthy just filthy no debate on this lol
@@Nextzzt789 Wrong... women control access to sex, men do not.
Seems solid and fair to me. Women go for men in the following order:
1. High morals and high options (high morals mean nothing if options are what dictate your circumstances).
2. High options low morals (these guys at least eventually marry, he is a challenge "But I can fix him")
3. High morals, low options (such as religious men, the self-righteous and arrogant hypocrites).
4. Low morals, low options (bitter porn watching perv looking to embrace sexual double standards he has no resources/value to enforce).
4? Lol that’s not what Red pill teaches, “apparently” all us women have to be godly saints with zero body count and these men have a wife and side chicks lol 🤣
❤️
Stop backward double standards
Are there any scientific research about how multiple partners affect men and women differently? Like hormonwise or anything else? Because everyone assumes it is not the same but without any evidence.
First, check out for chimerism (just a friendly advice), and then return and tell your opinion on the matter.
@@ortros1 Chimerism is ret@rdism.
@@ortros1 could you explain what do you mean exactly ?
@@realmadrid-cx8yd horizontal DNA sharing maybe? A male(s) DNA found in female bodies (including in their brains) that became a part of her body?
I wasn't very popular in high school but in my late teens I hit my stride and tore through women, lots and lots of very attractive women but other than looks and an attitude (which was all an act) I didn't have much to offer. Decades later and I'm for the most part the person I've tried to be with a great career and lots of assets and there are NO women of value within a 15 year range. I men the outlook is BLEAK!
That’s likely because the good ones got married, and stayed married. It’s the same with men.
One of the interesting realities is that some males peaking in college is a real thing. The jocks have their time then the rest of mankind catches up. You had your chance just like the ladies did.
This is especially scary when you look at how women can get half of your assets from before you even met them, the divorce rate and "so what do you do for a living" as the standard conversation starter.
Care to elaborate? I find it difficult to believe that a man that had an easy time dating when he was younger can't find suitable mate when he is older, and has a lot more to offer. What exactly are you looking for?
@@K3r0411 The "good one" haha most people I know who are married are obese living unhappy, meaningless lives. I only know a few men who married women of any value. I'm a bullet dodger, you are probably stuck with a soul crushing cow. Most of the "jocks" I knew in high school turned into losers. I'm 6'3" and still athletic. If high school was your zenith you're not doing it right.
Asking women their preferences and then seeing the reality of their choices.
When you are just ticking boxes
I'm 60. I wrote every name I could think down and some nameless scenarios just to take a look at myself. I was astounded not so much at the body count but my memory being in tact. 😢
😂😂😂😂🎉
Why are you sad. U seemingly enjoyed 😅
@@travelswithdina.7 somewhat I did enjoy, although some of those memories were painful.
@@blakebunch4485 i think when we mature we know this behavior was childish & perhaps unacceptable
@@travelswithdina.7 Maybe, and maybe that was all the maturity I had developed at the time. Anyways good chatting and thanks for engaging civilly.
If she got more than me (0) then that’s nasty 😂
honestly... yeah. unfortunately that's probably considered bodyshaming or sth in society today so we can't say that out loud😮💨
@@jacemid67 depends on how old you are
Same
It's a very big spectrum, English countries still counts single digit partners as normal but as you go middle East it starts to count as not good and as you go east further, more than 1 or 2 is considered bad. So it all depends on a lot of aspects.
How old are you?!
Women: (only dating men who rate 9 on average).
Also women: (declaring all women to be 10s).
you can't make it up honestly...
What about 25-30yo virgins with 0 body count? 90% of people in my age bracket has had relationships. I won't be able to pair bond, because I have no experience being with women and because of my inexperience I'll mess it up and will never know what to do when with a woman. I'm used to being alone my entire life. There's that too.
You didn't do any research on the matter? Just to get an insight (if nothing else). That way you'll at least have a chance (and You will be able to develop stronger feelings towards her).
" I won't be able to pair bond, because I have no experience being with women and because of my inexperience I'll mess it up and will never know what to do when with a woman"
You're writing this as if it were a forgone conclusion, as if you had 0 agency over what happens next. You've got more control over what happens than you care to give yourself. Plus, you'll probably find many women in the same boat. If this podcast has taught me anything, it's that modern dating dynamics are pretty fucked up for women and men alike.
@@mitchellthomas2686 Either way I don't see myself ever being in a relationship. That's life. We always want what we cannot have. I have to accept that having a woman by my side is something I'll never have. Destined to die a virgin rip. I always wanted to travel the world with the woman I love. Guess I'll have to travel and see the world alone. That's something at least worth experiencing for me before I leave this world.
@Troy Hailey I don't watch porn. It's disgusting and fake. Not good for the brain. Plus last I heard women see men with no dating experience as a red flag.
There's a difference between having sex and being capable of maintaining a relationship. Go out and make some friends, learn to be sociable because it sounds like you're way too in your head about this. The best success I've had is when you're not actively looking: it just kinda falls into place unexpectedly
What numbers are ment? F.e. 4 sexual partners aß optimum mean only relationships or relationships AND one night stands hookups combined number ... ?
Maturity
3 to 4? Isn't that just a starter?
what about the fact that so many women lie, "low ball," often greatly low ball, their number?
I don't think this is a question we can answer with science alone. Culture matters a hell of a lot. We know of cultures that historically were very open to multi partner mating, and of course we know of cultures where notions of purity were the main concern.
I think this is a software, not a hardware question. And as such it will vary based on your personal beliefs and culture. But just knowing there were cultures were promiscuity was not seen as a problem, to me shows that there isn't one single answer.
At last, a comment with some nuance and without a spiteful undercurrent
At least from a Darwinian perspective, there is an answer. What was the fate of said promiscuous cultures especially their abilities to grow families, communities etc? Morally and pragmatically, what good does promiscuity deliver for the betterment of humanity? There were cultures in which slavery was not seen as a problem, the fact that promiscuity wasn't seen as wrong at some point in a culture in the past is really not a valid reason for us to structure our society based on the same practices.
Ah yes the mythical woke poly-cultures of our imaginary past.
I hear cannibalism was big in the old days, which to me as a practicing cannibal in the modern day is very affirming. I have dietary euphoria.
@joetheboy04 it isn't that black and white. What we consider "monogamous societies" definitely had their share of premarital sex, cheating, etc. Even modern societies where slavery has been abolished have no shortage of trafficking/pr*stitution, forced labor and exploitation of migrants. I think these are perennial human issues that get dressed up or down depending on societal values, but they will exist as long as we do.
My friend has a body count of 65
Depends on her age.
I think high school bf, plus uni bf, plus one mistake is acceptable. My wife says she had one before me (high school bf) but I assume that means three. I long ago accepted nearly all women lie about this, or they don’t count the mistakes
They also do not count any one night stands.
Multiply by 3
It really is possible that she only had one before you, have faith
This is fair. My wife and (together 25 years) both had 1 ltr in college before meeting each other. I don't think you need to mistrust your wife because of what you've read on the internet. Most of the "manosphere" is about tricking dumb skanks into bed, not "normal" women who put up healthy barriers to strange guys. Women always have opportunities, but if she has self control, doesn't mean she took them.
@Ronins Journey not high enough since at least 2000*. Women have 4x the std rate so 4x would be a minimum.
Basically, a lot of women share the few top catches on pickup apps.
* I didn't want to reGoogle the health data but I vaguely this number covers all women thru age 44 two years ago, so 18 to 46 now. At age 45+, in 2020, the std rate was the same as for men.
And that 4x std rate is hard *data*, not voluntary disclosure.
Men's standards do change over time, so a snapshot survey is fundamentally flawed.
Not really...
There used to be a convenient term for “high body-count” women which also expressed their undesirability. It’s a four letter word which begins with ‘SL’ and ends with a ‘T’. There is always some significant dysfunction at the heart of promiscuity. Sex for the sake of validation, which encompasses the vast majority of female sexual behaviour, is ultimately self-defeating. It is, however, a rapid and reliable way of greatly reducing one’s value for essentially zero benefit. It wouldn’t be surprising to discover that many women encourage this denigrating practice in others in order to elevate themselves (relatively speaking).
never back down on that statement because some people prefer the brainwashing and we need to have the truth heard.
Kind of just feels like you're shaming men and women for out competing you
CW, obsessed with the topics of sex and women.
ive been with 27, i am a 27 year old male, is that too many?
No
Yeah
Not at all
I would’ve assumed Jewish, Muslim and Christians would find virgins the most ideal. I really would’ve guessed zero to be the most preferred. The idea of asking a religious person about short term mating seems unusual as this would go against their person beliefs around marriage and relationships.
Is this self-reported studies?
So 1. The fact that there's so much confusion proves how important *one* is.
Serious question: what you’re not just into social interaction, full stop?
zero is the right number, once you put a number different from zero it is just subjective and that number will be keep moving up every 5 years.
and in some moment in the future +50 will be "the new normal" why 5 and not 6 ? and why not 7? and so on
Extremely based
I can relate to this. I dont have a huge body count as a man but most of mine came after my divorce. But it effected me in attaching to someone because i would start missing being with multiple women and the newness of different girls. My ex girlfriend just left me for a guy with a body count that he cant when recall a round about of how many girls he slept with. Lost count. She is thinking marriage with him. I cant imagine that will last due to his history. He will be more likely to cheat on her in the future. Especially aftwe they have a child.
Maybe because of the high body counts these days. It makes the younger generation happier to be single, I don't think they feel they are missing out. They are probably find it creepy that people want to indulge in everything.
Makes any generation happier to br single
@@wyleecoyotee4252 Except the women won't be happy being single in the long run...
@davepazz580
Sure they are happy.
They realize a marriage would be worse.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 There are way too many tiktoks made by older single women that disprove this...
@@davepazz580
There are many more women living their best lives not posting on Tiktok. Those Tiktok women are not representing the entire single female population.
Feel like after you reach a certain age, you don't really discuss Bodycount anymore. Typically, I've only asked about body count when I was
Really? I'm in my 30s and women talk about it with me all the time. My friends say the same. Maybe it depends on where you live (my experience is in big cities).
I'm in my 30s and agree this is quite juvenile. Most adults with life experience, their own homes and lives etc. don't concern themselves with other people's sex lives.
@@arwynanne you should if you want a relationship, that has an actual future
*I'm in my 30s and agree this is quite juvenile. Most adults with life experience, their own homes and lives etc. don't concern themselves with other people's sex lives.*
Funny how women don't likewise think it would be "juvenile" to be concerned about a man's financial state and status after a certain age...
"Most adults with life experience, their own homes and lives etc. don't concern themselves with other people's financial lives."
@@arwynanne hahaha that's very convenient for you I guess
1…. I come from generations of 0 premarital partners. It’s just a more real family feeling. It’s not even a consideration. You can have seggs with your wife. But can’t wife your seggs partners. Different material. This is life.
Just type "sex".
@@madwilliamflint thx, just making sure yt doesn’t give me “error” ;)
@@xeropunt5749 This isn’t TikTok. You only get banned if you make videos not if you post an “inappropriate” comment lol
@@FunnyDolphin782
certain word or combination of words, will automatically delete your _comment_ .
Are you 80? Or from India? They have a big rape problem there.
Surely we have to factor in who they have had. What if all of them were very poorly endowed?
212 woah , massive flex 💪💯 gigachad
What # of lifetime partners is most common? I've heard 3-5 is the average but that is probably skewed by a lot of 1-2s and a handful in the hundreds. I've averaged one partner per year since i was 16: some relationships, some flings, and some dry spells. For being a pretty normal guy, I wouldn't have expected 20 to be such a high number
depends on if you are a player joe if you looking for a LTR you may be a loser who gets dumped?
@liamrivero7839 Not everyone is a good long-term match for you, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself along the way. Being with people you actually like and treating each other with respect isn't a bad thing.
"I wouldn't have expected 20 to be such a high number." Agreed; I'm at 17, and I guess I'm *waaaayyyy* above average.
@@M0viLover I really don't think it is nowadays, from social and attractive girls I've met, mid-high teen count by late 20s is common. Dating is so different nowadays, people care about sexual compatibility and getting their needs filled so there's not much reason to hold back early, and then many guys dip on them
Yes you are essentially right, IIRC in the UK it's something like 50% less than 2 partners, 75% less than 5 partners and 90% less than 10 partners. Also a typical woman has less partners than a typical man but a few women have very high numbers which evens the average to be the same as men (as it must be). Basically all the high numbers men are sleeping with the same very small group of very high numbers women. Even though hooking up has become more accepted, younger generations are having less partners on average, not more as is often portrayed. The TLDR is that even today, promiscuity is very much a tiny minority sport, the popularity of which is blown out of all proportion by various media because 'sex sells'.
I'm not proud of my past sexual proclivities but considering 36 was the highest number referenced, apparently I'm FAR from "optimal." Thankfully I'm married with a bunch of children today.
You should be, what you achieved was only possible for kings and royalty historically. Plus you seem to have had a happy ending, don’t listen to this horseshit
Hey Chris Williamson please create a separate channel only for short clips. Solid content as always.
UA-cam Shorts takes care of this
@@RhetoricalMuse he meant for short clips like 5 to 15min content like this...most podcast channel have this strategy
Why are the numbers talked about so depressingly low?
Yeah, I live in a different universe than most of these people. I’ve had weeks where I had a higher body count than most in this thread are claiming for lifetime. I used to get involved in relationships, but I finally realized that all I talk about in therapy is trauma from past relationships. Now that I’ve gone 100% hookups only for the past couple years, surprise surprise, no new trauma to try and recover from. Happier, healthier, wealthier, sexier 😉 it’s pretty amazing how much better off I am as a single guy.
Because they are lying. Or, forgetting who they have had sex with.
You men chatter on about wanting virgins. After you breakup she is no longer a virgin. You wasted her time and her virginity.
Because you're assuming virginity is the *only* thing that matters in a relationship... it is not.
@davepazz580
You're backpeddaling and you made it about yourself.
The comments was about the woman.
Where exactly did I "backpedal"?
I'm not even talking about myself here... you aren't making any sense.
@davepazz580
Men want virgins and expect them to have s3x on a first date, or just 'date' them. Men aren't willing to wait for marriage and commit to them.
Hence my post.
My number is about 70, I am 27. I would have preferred to be more careful when I was younger. I’m not proud of the number, I keep it hidden
I've mostly only sought out short term relationships during my lifetime but ended up being long term. I had to back out when it got to where they wanted marriage. I won't do that. When a man decides he wants to you he completely changes. Ruins the good relationship we were having.
Weirdo.
Here’s where the body count discussion is always lacking. If you want to discover what is really going on in the mind of women with high body counts you find one who is now past her prime, the one who regrets it and now lives with the psychological scars. The 23 year old chick hot chick who sees nothing wrong with it isn’t the example to set forth. The 50 year old woman who deals with flashbacks, wakes up from nightmares, finds showering humiliating because it requires her to be naked and avoids even looking in a mirror because it disgusts her. Those are the one’s who need to be given a voice. I guarantee you that they have more to reveal about the negative aspects of a high body count better than someone who just arrogantly spouts off empty rhetoric.
That's extreme and the type of behavior of a women who suffered sexual and emotional abuse via childhood and potentially adult relationships. Most women I know over 50, who have over 10-15 partners to be realistic...they have basically sworn off men and are thriving in life alone with their pets , family for those who had children and were married once and a community of women their age. Men are equally at fault for the divorce rate - via lazyness, complacency , and basically being shit husbands. Red pill. women leave and file first. Women live longer happier and healthier lives single and without men, where men are suicidal and unhappy alone.
I have a past and yet never cheated, had one night stands , or anything of that nature. The only thing i regret is having a big heart when the men was choosing were terrible partners or basically lying on who they were. Im SO happy celibate and single going on 2 years. I would never allow this narritive to affect how I value myself because my charachter is intact and life is a series of self improvement :) God Bless.
@@sophrosyne5900 stop chatting shite dear, you can spout muppet all you want and lie to yourself but that don't change reality.
@@sophrosyne5900 lol
@@sophrosyne5900 ❤❤❤ thank you for your comment. Your day will be blessed ✨
but also if it’s meant to be in your life path to partner with a man he will come and be tailor made to you love ❤ keep doing the self work that you’re clearly doing 🤗 x
@@sophrosyne5900 The women you know who are thriving alone with their pets and a community of women their age? Those people used to be referred to as raging alcoholics.
7-8 is considered to be a virgin. Man they sure are changing definitions left and right.
As a straight man, I feel sorry for how many I’ve been with. (Sex fills holes not voids) So for these modern “women” to be proud: stop the cap.
If they weren't raised with the right values they will be victimized by whatever propaganda gets to them first.
So if I’m in the 50s it’s not looking good
I don't think it should matter, if you hot you will have a high number. Also if you're willing to settle down then that should matter most
I agree