I have always said the only nice thing about getting older is you don't care what anyone thinks about you. You have more self confidence and I found that that made people dislike you even more.
I luv your look so beautiful ❤️ Not everyone is going to like me and I don't want negativity in my life. We are our own best friend. If you like yourself that's all that matters.❤️❤️🇨🇦
I used to be a people pleaser. I was married 9 years to a husband who cheated on me. We had two children so I tried to make it work. One day when I was 33 years old and my kids were 8 and 4, I looked at him and realized I did not love him enough to live unhappily ever after with him. I finished my teaching degree and divorced him in a year. I discovered that I didn't have to be a people pleaser. I spent a couple of years finding ways that were free to enjoy life (we were poor) ... reading poetry in a big comfy chair at the library, trying new soup recipes, making homemade pizza with my kids every Friday night and watching a $2 movie we picked out (at a video store - 1993). Then I met my dream man in the grocery store. We dated 4 years, got married and blended our families. Finally, I found someone I could be completely honest with and tell him what I need. 25 years later, we are still together.
Love, love, love your honesty and sincerity. Recently decided at 71yrs old that my life is my life now and I've given away enough of me. What's left is for me to be myself and live my life my way. Look out world I've finally arrived 😅😅😅
I think you are speaking right to me...I have lost my joy..I'm trying to get it back..I have to tell people when they hurt me. Be more of a leader instead of a follower..I love listening to you..you are so helpful..Desi is.the.sweetest
Yes, yes! That is what song I was thinking when Susan heard a song in what she said. Ricky Nelson,,,You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself.
@@theteal123 Okay Sherry I just want to be friendly with you but I don't think you will be okay talking here publicly. I suggest we talk about it on Email ✉️💞🙏... What do you think? 🤔🌹🌹
You should be a motivational speaker. In high school, I was shy and backward, because I thought I was fat. Really I wasn't but I had a cousin that called me tank. I went on and had a boyfriend, who I married. He was married to his job more than me. We divorced and I ran around with friends and drank and was a party animal..I was not happy. , felt pressured to be something I wasn't. Met a man who had never been married and he treated me good, we went every where together. I spent alot of time fixing myself up for him...kept a clean house etc. But I found out he was cheating on me and it hurt bad because I had given up so much for him and deprived myself. I am now 75 years old, we are still together, but now I live for myself...if I want to do something and he doesn't..I do it & he can sit at home.. Too many years wasted trying to please him. Take care.
This resonated with me too. I married young the first time and did everything he said, wore the clothes he bought. Don’t say this don’t say that, I’ll take care of that, don’t do that. Don’t go see your family I’m the only one who loves you…I left at 28 with 2 kids all I knew was that there had to be something better than that. I married the second time at 30 then spent 24 years hiding who I was again. Don’t say that, don’t do that. Though he wasn’t abusive this time he never saw me or my needs for a mate. When I left people were so angry with me, family included, well why leave him? He took care of you, your boys, the bills…but I knew he wouldn’t have liked me if I spoke up or told him how I really felt about certain things I couldn’t be myself, again so…I left. I felt like my whole life all I’d ever done was what a man told me to do because I watched my mother do the same. When I left my kids were grown and I knew I could take care of myself because I did have enough sense to get a college degree during my second marriage. I was 52. It was hard being alone at first…but then I went on a 10 year discovery plan into the depths of me and I am now the happiest I’ve ever been. I’ve retired have a small two bedroom apartment with a beautiful balcony. I garden and decorate, go to outdoor activities, live music, farmers markets, travel and just love the life I’ve created for myself. And yes…I’m still single yet not lonely. Life has finally become beautiful ♥️♥️♥️
@ Angela, this is my life, I’m going back to school at 56, I’m finding me, Im learning my feelings matter, sometimes I feel maybe I wasn’t meant to fall in love or be loved, I need to be at peace with that... I loved reading about your life , you give me Hope... THANK YOU
Way to go Angela !! I think this is 100% fabulous if you can sort a way to live independently where you feel you fit in and build your own life successfully.. I'm just getting there loving my life !
How inspiring you are. You followed your soul. I can’t say I did the same. I gave up myself for the men in my life. But I’m beginning to see that’s just the way it has to be if you want to have a man in your life. No matter what stage of life you are in - you have to give up so much of yourself .. .and yet. . . I do feel a hole . . .just being on my own . . It’s so hard. Even tho we all know the downsides.
This Friday I was at home and decided to get in the car and take myself out for a fabulous meal at my favorite restaurant. I’ve been going out by myself occasionally since my husband passed but it had been 2 years that I treated myself to a nice dinner because of Covid. The meal was fabulous and I got to be around people. I loved it. I don’t know about others but since the pandemic I’ve been more timid. So, get out even if it is by yourself once in a while. It’s very empowering. It’s wonderful to just be yourself. Thanks for the video. Loved it
I'm a 62yr. Old man and I just wanted to say that all you women who are going through such a lonely experience at this time need to have a good man who truly appreciates you and loves you for who you are 💞 . Loving you from the recess of both your hearts! Your all so extremely beautifully made! Suzie, your truly georgeous! Signed, Caring! 😁
I like u I love u I need u I meet u I m alone I m single Merry me Make u so so happy happy every time forever I m intrested 👧👧👧👧👧💑💑💑💑💑👪👪👪👪👪😍😍😍😗😗😗😘😘😘😚😚😚💋💋💋💏💏💏👄👄👄👄💝💝💝💝💖💖💖💘💘💘❤❤💞💞💕💕💕🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌷🌷🌷🙋🙋🙋🙋
I am 58, I have a chronic illness and got really bloated and fat. I had been good looking when I was young and though that isn't everything it was a big part of my identity. All of a sudden no one even recognize me. I wouldn't go out much, not just because of how I looked but because the illness made me tired and sore. Then the pandemic came and my son left home to go to university. I had to work from home. It was really lonely but everyone was in the same boat. I thought it would go back to being ok once it was over but I feel even more lonely now. I never went back to working full time and much of the work is still from home. I feel like I am just trading water.
Remember what Ricky sang at the garden party……can’t please everyone so you gotta please yourself. At this stage in my life I don’t have the patience for the nonsense of egos. Thanks for keeping our spirits and joys up!Give your little man a big hug for me!
I’ve finally came into my own after nine years after my husband’s passing. I am making my apartment my own, buying myself flowers, buy myself clothes that I want, eating healthy but when I want to treat myself I certainly do. I may listen to advice but I go ahead and do what I want. I’ve learned to say no and am finally living for myself. I do what I can for others but only if I’m comfortable doing it. My attitude is “if you’re with me, you’re with me and if you’re not, you’re not”. I’m 74 and for once am enjoying life to the fullest. It’s about time and I hope others follow suit a little earlier than I have. We only come by this life once. Make it beautiful.
"What Others Think About Me is None of My Business"... I'm finally at a point in my life where I don't give a rats what others think about me nor am I interested in hearing about it. I like me. Anyone that doesn't is welcome to not be around me. It took me decades to get to this point. The peace and freedom that has come with it has been an enormous weight lifted off my shoulders. ~A Former People Pleaser
Congrats to the winners. I am so far past worrying about who does and doesn't like me. I am to old and tired of nasty people or people that believe they are the main and only ones to matter. Being alone is a blessing. I am happy with my own company and not having to cater to others when what is really important is peace and calm.
OMG! Thank you so much Susan! I’m just thrilled that you drew my name. I’m going on a short cruise in April and that sassy little black dress you modeled will be perfect 🥰.
I know a lady who puts everyone down. She comments on everything from their clothes, how much they weigh, what makeup or lack of it they have. I have gotten to where I don’t want to spend time with her listening to put downs. I enjoyed your video and agree with you about how you can’t please everyone and be liked by everyone.
This is SO POWERFUL! I spent most of my life wondering what one earth was wrong with me. I never understood why I had so many haters until early 2020 when it was revealed that no matter what I did, no matter who I was, no matter what I did for others, it would never be right in some people's eyes. Lightbulbs went off all over the place in my head. I own a business, love to exercise and stay in shape, eat a certain kind of diet, and that's just how I am and what I've chosen. And I have haters for it. It's unreal. Why don't or can't we just celebrate each other for who we are? I've finally have taken myself back, cut out the noise, and unapologetically continued on the path that is right for me.
I’m in my fifties and I notice that often women our age stop being people pleasers and don’t give a damn what people think out of a spirit of confidence and peace. When I was younger I noticed that women that age who stopped being people pleasers and didn’t give a damn what people thought about them did so out of a spirit of “stick it” and rebellion against the norm. Maturity is a wonderful, peaceful clarifier.
I was raised by a mother that hated me and did everything in her power to destroy me emotionally! She even made me marry someone she chose because she thought his famiy was rich and she could get some of that money! He abused me both physically and emotionally for the 2 years we were married. I prayed that he would just kill me and get it over with! When I FINALLY got out of that marriage I rejoiced that I was finally free. Since then I HAVE NEVER GIVEN A DAMN what people thought of me, NOT ONCE!!! You can like me for who I am or move on. I will not let that trouble me for even one second!! We, ladies, are MORE THAN ENOUGH!!! Never let anyone tell you otherwise!!!
Your caramel highlights look gorgeous! You can't make everyone like you, so like yourself and do your best. It's enough :) I was the black sheep of the family with a narcissist mother and my sister was the golden child. I refuse to do that anymore. There's no more room for guilt and shame in my life.
@@sallybutton6237 I think your attitude is fantastic. It's wonderful to have a life now with no drama and no guilt trips isn't it? :) I wake up smiling and I don't go to bed worried at night.
@littlepoet I was edited by my accompanist for 20+ years. Even when the tables turned, and I was Her boss, she refused to do anything other than what her sensibilities wanted. Even funeral requests, a modern or ( Heaven forbid) a jazzy piece...well, let's say the 1 time I insisted on her playing a piece as requested, she played as if it was a circus tune, she was So Damn Stubborn!!! I actually have PTSD now when I perform. I can never let go and just do a song as I want to. I hope to grow out of it. Someday. She always professed to love me, but her actions showed me otherwise. 💔
I've always been a people pleaser. It was how I got through life from being abandoned at age 5. But I have found since I retired and am widowed I have no one to please but me. My sister said, you are really blossoming into who you were meant to be! I do know one thing, I'm starting to really enjoy life!!
I wish I really could enjoy life. And do for myself and dude thinks that I enjoy, having dinner or taking a small trip. But I don't know how. LOL I don't know where to go out to dinner or what to eat if I were to go. For fair I may order the wrong thing and not like it. I don't know where to go. I don't even know what I like. It's a self I've never existed but for slavery for others. Do you know what I mean?
When people run into someone, ( like you for instance,) who`s bubbly and happy and eager to please others; they don`t hate you, they envy you. People tend to confuse jealousy and envy with hate, but they don`t really know you, so there is no reason to hate you. There are some who like to pass their misery on to others, so they have the ability to try and bring you down with their scorn, if you allow it. You are right, the older and wiser you get the less it bothers you. I`m 82 and time is too precious to waste it on negative energy. Just bless them with that lovely smile of yours and move on, because there are many out there who will appreciate your kindness and sweet spirit. Sometimes just a smile in passing, can make a stranger`s day much better....Love the beautiful fall colors in your area and by the way, you do look great in all of the clothes you model and wear. Love and Blessings to you and sweet Desi.
I love your new hair color. It suits you and your skin tone so well. Step right up, I am a people pleaser my whole life. Now I am a me pleaser. I do what pleases me and it suits me so much better. I’m the same person, but living life like a free bird now. Not a caged one!🕊
Gosh, we HAVE to not give a damn what everyone things when we mature. There's no one that takes better care of us than US! In the past 4 years, I have learned why women somethings don't wear a shirt that matches their pants. Or, the socks just don't go with the rest of the outfit. The reason is because it's comfortable! And, feeling comfortable in our own clothes (and skin) feels so much better than trying to fit into what anyone else wants us to wear. It took me to 'getting there' for me to finally 'get it'. Now, I'm sorry that I was so judge-y before. So what if 'they' say that a woman at 60 isn't supposed to wear glitter eyeshadow...tough, I do! I don't care that anyone thinks a 60 year old shouldn't wear flashy lipstick either. I love to glitter and glow and.....BE SASSY!!!
When I came to Spain I tried to fit in to my new culture. It wasn’t easy at first . I realized that I needed to be happy . I still feel lonely but I have finely made some good friends who accept me for who I am .
I heard a Pastor once say, " Not everyone in this world is going to like you, and your not going to like everyone in this world either". That really freed me from trying to please people.
My father, may he Rest In Peace, said to me “you weren’t put on this earth for everybody to like you”. I do what I can always to operate my life with integrity and honesty- that’s all I can handle😉💃🤓
Quickest way to find out who your real friends are by saying "no". Oprah Winfrey once said on her show when you say "no", that person will keep asking until someone else says "yes". It is true as I changed my world by it prioritising others.
Each passing year shows a more profound you, a more authentic you, and still a person I adored from the first hello. I'm a reformed people pleaser. I find I wrap the pleasure of being older and wiser around me like a snuggly blanket. There is a true joy in not giving a dam if you're not liked by everone. Sue's, you are looking so radiant. Keep doing what you are doing. Make us think and feel.
@@paulawhite2546 Okay Paula I just want to be friendly with you but I don't think you will be okay talking here publicly. I suggest we talk about it on Email ✉️💞🙏... What do you think? 🤔🌹🌹
Thank you, Susan, for one of the best videos ever. As someone once stated: "It takes courage to have courage. It takes courage to not give up, to face the challenge. Once being fearful, we again have to take courage to endure. You teach this by just being you and sharing your life, thoughts and opinions. I am so grateful I found you!
Oh Susan you are so right. I really needed to hear this, There is a person in my life who I love but I know they don't like me. It's not a man it's a female In my family. I realise now that no matter how good I am to them they will never never love me or like me. Thank you xx
Susie- my father was an extremely handsome man a real looker, he was in the business as a studio musician at MGM in 1940s, he had three daughters and we were all expected to be tall and thin and I knew if I put on a few pounds he definitely mentioned it, I loved my mom and dad soooo very much and they were wonderful. But growing up I definitely wanted to please them, at 65 I look back and can see how hard that was on me , I don’t give a damn Anymore I think I look good and at peace it’s definitely an eye opener❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@kristinaroberts7216 Okay Kristina I just want to be friendly with you but I don't think you will be okay talking here publicly. I suggest we talk about it on Email ✉️💞🙏... What do you think? 🤔🌹🌹
I'm in tears as I struggle deeply with this. I will be turning 62 in just a few days. I know what I want to do. But, I don't know how to get there. It will mean finding a way to give my adult children the push they need to live their lives, so in turn...I can live my authentic life...I see it, however it is just out of reach. Thanks for this video today Susan. It so spoke to me.
AWE 😳 It can only get better ..I feel the same way too ..but we got to get up..and Just do it..walk get fresh air this removes toxins..take our 100 mg Vit C..and Vit D3 100 mg..Nicin 100 mg.. and eat healthy...I am down 40 lbs..Weight watchers.. almost free at $4 for 3 months and $21.98 3 months have download the App..to keep track of 40 oz water a day and your points I had to have 21 points a day...a huge list of 0 point foods all veggies, all fruit baked chicken, no skin..turkey, fish..no oils..I use the spray butter..and fake sugar... Blessings beloved Sister I live in so. CA. You can do it..I need a cheer leader too 🥺 ...You got it...1 foot in front of the other...15 minutes..is a start...⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
This was a powerful message that we all can learn by. My mom passed away this week at age 93 and that was a long life but it made me think how short life really is in the scope of things. So we need to spend our years making ourselves happy and being kind to others along the way. Some will like us some won't. I know someone really needed to hear that tonight. I have been very sad this week but you and Desi always bring a little cheer my way. You look lovely and Desi is an amazing little creature ❤️. Congratulations to the lucky winners.
When you are young, you have to please parents, teachers, bosses, spouses. That is the beauty of growing older, taking charge of who we are and what we want!
I have to say this to myself all the time..."You were born an original, so don't waste your time trying to be a copy." Wisdom I've learned only through age and experience. You are so right....
You are so right, people who hate is because they fear something in themselves. I learned that late in life. I wasted a life time of people pleasing, because I wanted to be kind and thoughtful and authentic. Some people would be cruel and take advantage of my kindness and that crushed my heart wondering why they didn't like me or try to hurt me. Now I just live my life and do things that make me happy and TRY to not care what people say or think. Now I say "No" when it is necessary. The advantage of aging is that we can finally live our authentic selves with pride.
I've always been, too, and the last few years I am finally realizing the problem, and just don't obsess about certain things anymore....I suppose it just comes with getting older! No one can please everyone all the time....
Sometimes it's compassion, sometimes it's guilt, sometimes its ego. Sometimes it's necessity. Whatever the reason. Unless its out of pure love and aligns with me. I will not sacrafice myself for anyone who manipulative or lazy or.... You choose. But having healthy boundries is not selfish. It's necessity. My neighbor was a pleaser After knowing her last 20yrs. She is now closed her heart. Too much to the opposite extreme now. Saddly I think it broke her a bit. The last job she had. She did everything and watched younger pretty women get validation. But she was the doormat. Gotta know pur boundries. Good luck, Listen to that song. I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ME EVERY DAY SWEETIE FOR A WEEK. LMK how that goes.💛
I have many many many regrets in life. Not about the fabulous piece of furniture or dress or house that i failed to purchase. The most profound and deepest regrets are not saying "I love you " It's too late now because my father and mother are in heaven and recently my husband of 52 years. My first and only love since we met when i was just 15 years young. 😪
Oh man! I've been seeing articles about people pleasing, videos about people pleasing, podcasts about people pleasing! Sometimes when you need something it keeps smacking you right on the head until you listen! I'm old yet I'm still learning about this and getting better all the time. It's a thing. Thank you Susan once again. xxoo
As we age we often find our voices and have the confidence that we lacked as younger women. Something that truly gave me a way to push through judgements and others opinions is this , "What you think of me is none of my business!!" I wish that it was a bumper sticker or a refrigerator magnet so that we could see it often and realize that we don't need the approval of others. The only person we have to please is ourselves. Once we realize this, we become very powerful women!! Thanks Susan for all of your wonderful content, you are a treasure!!
I've learned that by trying to please everybody you just destroy yourself. Like you said, it takes a toll on your physical and mental health and it's just not worth it. The 'burnout" leaves you so drained there's no energy for enjoying anything. We all deserve happiness and to have it, we need to please ourselves first and then life just seems to fall into place. Thank you for this video, Susan
Grateful for the insight you offer, as this is something I’m questioning in my own life right now. At 64, I do feel the sadness, and disappointment of feeling forgotten by those that I spent so long trying to please. I do believe we must move forward with a positive mindset, and absorb the light of the moments that serve to teach us. So, I am absorbing the beautiful wisdom of this community, and your special videos. Thank you!
I totally agree with you Elizabeth. I’m 65 and have very few friends. I’m working on being my authentic self. It’s empowering to sit and realise that I’m getting there; always we are a W.I.P…..( work in progress). Isn’t this a lovely channel. I do enjoy it. Have a great weekend
Amen sister! You touched me with your words about having spent all that time, effort, caring & pleasing ( my words for it.😉) Only to find out years & years later that they never reciprocated that care... a terrible realization indeed & these folks still care less about you (me). Who knew? Well, now we know. It feels to me that a huge burden has been removed, having stepped back & stepped away from those who once mattered greatly to me. You know, I realized they did not & still do not, care that I finally separated from them. The world of "givers" & "takers" truly exists. And the "takers "..... I've left them behind.
I was ten the first time someone told me I was getting fat. My weight and I have been duking it out ever since. It took me until I was sixty to stop caring so much about what others think. Today I surround myself with those who love me, and work on loving myself. It is very freeing to realize that it's not me, it's them. I am good enough for today.
Great topic! Being a people pleaser burnt me out at work......I have finally reached an age where I do not care what others think of me.....I loved seeing the snow! Im in New York waiting patiently for snow here....lol....have a great week!
The spirit of the Lord is within you. You have a loving caring soul and it shines brilliantly. Anyone who dislikes you is envious and jealous of you. I believe that everyone loves you! You are totally sincere. Thank you for sharing your sorrows and your joys. God bless you abundantly ❤
It's funny how you can have 99 people that love you but you will harp on the 1 that doesn't...whom probably doesn't even like themselves anyway. I needed this video today more than you know. Thank you, Susan
Hi Susan! Oh how’ll I enjoyed your video this evening. I just decided last weekend when my family was not hearing a word I was saying cause they were to wrapped up in their opinions. I said to myself. No point in talking when no one is listening. So I just walked away and said to myself. I cannot do this no more. Don’t let em put you down Don’t let em push you around Don’t let em change your point of view. Just like you said Susan, it’s me…..it’s how’ll I feel and think… Have Yourself A Beautiful Sunday. Enjoy Your Date.
Congrats to all the Winners! I know how amazing you're feeling right now! Susan you are amazing yourself and I look forward to seeing you on here! When I was younger I just I always felt like as long as I'm happy with how I look and what I say then it doesn't matter about what other people think....I think that's what kept me going and not give up... Everybody has their own idea and thoughts about everything so we could not possibly please everyone... I do think it's important to please yourself and be happy for yourself because that's what the Lord wants.... He wants our Best because he gives us His Best! Love seeing little Desi play! Till next time, be happy! ❤️
I was always sad for my mother because even in her 90's she still was so concerned about what people thought about what she wore, her makeup, etc. I told her many times not worry about what people thought and just live her life and be happy. She just never could. I, on the other hand, have learned to not give a damn and am true to who I am.
There's all kinds of trials & heartbreaks, disappointments with people we've known or know, but what's comforting to me, is my little dog Sammie. He loves me unconditionally & is happy just to be with me. He gives me so much joy. When I feel stressed by the things of this world, once he jumps up on my lap & gives me that sweet loving look my stress melts away. Put your thoughts on what's good & beautiful and it will warm your heart and ease one's mind.
My companion dog fills those empty places in my life. Widowed suddenly & the shocking loss after our 35 years together (feels like way too brief a time) has clarified my outlook on life. I truly understand the powerful impact of an amazing companion dog.... after having beloved dogs all my adult life & loving them... there's something amazingly different about this unique Woody boy that feels like a relationship beyond any other dog. Bless you & your companion dog.
@@carolbusse5803 dear Carol, thank you for your reply to my comment. You are all so right. Sorry for the sudden loss of your husband. I too, had a sudden loss of my husband & I don't know what I would have done without my sweet doggy. God bless you & your best friend.
Thanks Susan, people pleaser here for the last 20 years I hope to gain myself once again, listening to your advice helps❤ congratulations to the winners! Please pray for my mom Polly she watches your channel and in ICU fighting Covid, she's my best friend and always try's to tell me to be whatever I want to be. I love her so much💜🙏
Kia, I will pray for your mother that she receives the best care from her medical team and fully recovers. You are blessed to have such a wonderful, loving relationship with her. 🙏🏻❤️
Hi Susan! Oh my gosh, this video was so timely! My brother is like your Mama's brother. I was in tears 2 nights ago after a 1 hour visit with my Mom and brother which turned into a berating from my miserable brother. After a sad, hurt night, I acknowledged that my self preservation is more important than subjecting myself to his hostility. So I will just stay away from him. BTW I had not seen them in months. I have friends who value, respect and treat me kinder than my dysfunctional family. Thank God for my friends and my children. Thank you for your wisdom & honesty. 🌹❤🌹
I have gone through the same thing with both of my brothers. I walked away....for good. You are right....self preservation is more important. Stay strong Kim!
I am 56 years old and I finally realized pleasing others isnt as important as how I felt inside. I grew tired of the shallow people who made me feel hollow, like a hole in my heart, then one day I stopped crying and It may be realize that's the day I stopped caring about everything even for myself. People pleasing is hard work and it will make a person physically sick I know because it happened to me for years. It isn't anything that when we get belittled when we feel like we have to measure up when we feel like we are not good enough, That in itself is a realization and it made me realize that I needed to change from trying to please others, stop being available for everybody it's almost like a robotic life. I broke out of my shell and evolved most recently I was told I was lacking in confidence. I turn to that person and I told her I am learning something new everyday I learned that other people are unhappy with their self when they have to be little others and at that moment I was confident and saying that to her made me realize I am in a healing process and will not allow anyone to tear it down. I like myself for who I am now and I love this video and thank you so much for putting it out there for everyone to see and to know that it's okay not to please other people. I feel like the wind, I'm free to move about now.
I hope we can teach our children and grandchildren to be authentic from the get go to avoid what we had to relearn in our 60’s! Learning is the backbone of our lives! Have a great week you lovely ladies! ❤️🥰❤️
When you talked about your mom being edited by her brother it reminded me of the character Birdie in the movie The Little Foxes. She was such a sweet lady who was bullied by everyone, because she was so kind she would go along to get along and it crushed her soul!
Had a friend tell me recently I seemed comfortable in my own skin and that made me feel so good . You are so right that we should be true to ourselves .
I’m so over being a people pleaser. I’ve learned to be content just being me. God’s given me piece, joy & contentment (with love for others), but without trying to please them. I’ve learned to please God by Loving Him & myself first. Thank you for all your deep conversations. It makes us think about ourselves, when we (as women) tend to always be nurturing to others.
Excellent advice,I agree. Please God, worship God. Consider and respect people, especially those who have been given roles in your life that require particular respect, but putting God first creates a "safety net" that helps prevent triggering comments touching our inner being. We can also gain more perspective. For instance, perhaps your Mum was worried about your health, Susan or concerned about the effects of your situation/relationship on your well being. As a mother,I am always concerned about the well being of my children. I have seen the problems that weight gain can cause, and I don't want that for my anyone.. and especially not my children. I'm not excusing uncalled for put downs, but perhaps we are triggered by topics/comments that are already sensitive to us.. instead of taking what is helpful and then moving on.
Dear Lorie, I feel your pain I lost my beloved male ginger cat who understood 21 words and I still can feel him around me , also I still look for him and he has been gone now for over two years. So Please pamper yourself A LOT during these Holidays and into the New Year because you deserve IT !
@@LittlePoet thank you Susan. She definitely took a part of my heart with her. It’s so hard I got her after my husband left me for another woman after 30 years. She was my best friend, confidant and companion. I still have my little rag doll boy but he is 14 and on meds right now. I just pray he will be with me a little longer. I’m 65 and alone. My cats are my whole world. How was your date. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. I really look forward to your videos. Thank you beautiful sassy lady.
At almost seventy three, I am more comfortable and have more confidence then I ever have. I don’t really care much what others think or if I’m not their cup of tea, I’m me and I’m enough. Good video Susan, love you outfit too. ❤️
So true! I consider it one of the greatest gifts in my life that always, my mum loved me for who I was. I believe it set the stage for only filling my life with people who do the same. I love the saying, "You have to teach people how to treat you." Great topic.
I was such a people pleaser and trying to make those around me pleased with me fractured Me....I have had to find out who I am and I really like me! But, another angle to it is that I had to forgive myself for doing that for years because when I made the final step and looked back on my life, I realized how maddening it had been to do that...And, how much time I wasted! Rather than knowing myself and living my bohemian style of Me and knowing that I was beautiful all those years when my X stopped loving me because I wasn't doing all the stuff he wanted but I began to nurture myself...it has been wonderful!
Yes a reformed people pleaser here. 😂. Took me many years and several close friends for me to get off that train. When I look back, my root cause- I was so afraid of abandonment. Learning thank goodness is life long process! I have choices. Love your videos and look forward to seeing you and Desi each week. Thank you for sharing.
My husbands name is what you see when I send a comment but he died 9 years ago. I have gone through struggles being alone, but now quite happy with my life. I know Jesus has got me through and I could not do life without Him. My husband was a pastor and loved the Lord, he was a great example to me. I have been unwell and always tired and scrolling through U Tube and finding you was a real blessing. Our tastes are so similar. Every time you pick up a painting, I love it!!! I love the way you decorate. You must make so many people happy. You just radiate joy and love. Thanks for being brave enough to do what you do. Ally
The very best thing about getting older is saying out loud what I used to just think. It gets some gasps and raised eyebrows sometimes 😂 but oh is it empowering. And so much fun😂. I can highly recommend it.
When I have ceased to break my wings Against the faultiness of things And learned that compromises wait behind each hardly opened gate When I look Life in the eyes Grown calm and very coldly wise Life will have given me the Truth And taken in exchange My youth Sara Teasdale. Read that poem as a young girl and wasn't sure what it meant. Now I know at 65!! Freedom years are HERE! Ps. Poem entitled "Wisdom"
Just recently I found your utube channel. OMG! Thank you for your authentic sharing, as a mature, single woman. You have and are helping me to recover and discover me, a beautiful revealing of myself that I have never known, but yet to be revealed... to myself. Thank you!
You and I have so much in common. I saw as a young girl how my dad was so dominant over my mother, much like Arichie was over Edith in All in The Family . I made up my mind as a child not to partner with no one who could steal my joy, dreams and spont. You said it, "Be true to yourself, thats all you can do." My motto too, girlfriend.
I can relate to the story of your mom commenting on your weight, my mom did that too after I married and gained a lot where I was bigger than ever and it hurt. She and my dad made me feel like that was so important to be thin like I had no other good qualities? It's really sad. And those are things we can forgive our parents but you never forget it.
My whole life I’ve struggled with my weight and my whole life my mother has nagged me about it, publicly and privately. I always wondered “is there nothing else about me you could comment on, just my weight?”. It’s made me so sad. She doesn’t know the real me, she’s only interested in who she wants me to be. She’s 95 now and still picks on me. Very sad.
@@kaycee625 I'm so sorry. I wonder if her mother did that to her. Maybe you should tell her it makes you feel horrible when she does that.. if you haven't already. I never told my parents and they have both passed away years ago now. Tell her. If she gets mad oh well. :)
Congrats s-a-s-s-y winners! I came back and watched this video again because it has so many good ideas and such helpful advice about the "people pleasing" syndrome and the futility of trying to please SOME people who just want to be sour and dislike others without reason or because of jealousy!
Morning Susan. I remember how scared I was to post a video on YT in fear of what people would think. But then, I realized, no one really cares about it. They're just busy living their own lives. we wouldn't care what people think about us if we knew how little they think about us! Congrats to your winners, lucky ladies. btw, I love your new hair color, it s very flattering. Hug Desi for me, ok?? , xoxo
Being a people pleaser can run you ragged. YES!!! We do for others before we do for ourselves. Even to the point we don’t have enough time to get our chores or errands done because we are “doing’ so much for others. I’m almost 60 and still struggle with this. Pleasing and doing for others makes me feel good about myself. Thank you for touching on this very serious subject. I was a very quiet, socially awkward child. I was made fun of at school for wearing glasses and braces. My parents for very strict and I wasn’t allowed to go to dances or other school functions. I was a VERY LATE BLOOMER. To this day I have terrible Social Anxiety. After my divorce from the love of my life, at 50, I was forced to come out of my shyness some. I’m almost 60 and isn’t it sad that I’m just now feeling better about myself. All those years of youth, wasted. I often cry when I watch your videos because you touch on things I’ve struggled with. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Thank goodness my best friend since 3rd grade called me when she first saw your Chanel and convinced me to watch you. She thought you would be of help to me. You have helped me. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I cry because you touch my heart and I feel like you know my soul. Your delivery is sincere but also humorous!!!! Good Bless You and keep being your wonderful self!! Love, Lisa 🥰👍🌺
I am just loving your videos and I am divorced 57 years old... I am sassy and just being myself. Still raising my son who is 13 1/2! I had to stop being the people pleaser also. Blessings , Linda
Words are so powerful. The tongue a two edged sword . So nice to hear your words in such a pleasant voice. I watched/ heard your videos last week while walking for two hours and you brought so much positive energy into my heart. This video hits home. I am learning to please me first, in order to be good to please others. Its hard to say no sometimes. Practice males perfect. Btw I was just telling my friends I may go back to a sassy whispy hair cut I had a fee years ago . I like that word sassy 😃
Congratulations to the winners! I'm a recovering people pleaser. It is still hard to say no to others and not think about it for hours..days. Blessings to you and Desi from Midas and me!
I have been watching you for a few months and at times I feel you are talking just to me. lol. I was always trying to please my mother in law who I knew did not like me because I married her only child! I met my husband back in 2005 and got married a year later. I met him online at the age of 50 and we fell in love. He lived in Texas and I I decided to treat her with kindness everyday and not think about how she felt about me. I had a wonderful relationship with my mother and keep her in my heart always. As you get older you seem to view life with different eyes, thoughts and feeling. Enjoy everyday you have with the ones that love you unconditionally. That is the best way to be. My name is Lillian. Nice to meet you Susan. I am very new to UA-cam and it's nice to share time with you.
Words spoken here….so very true! I’ve finally got my joy and peace back in my life! It was such a hard decision to leave a marriage of 26 years but I caught myself NOT EVEN BREATHING! Walking on eggshells just to please someone else was for the birds! I’m so happy that you and your Mama got everything worked out! Once again, great video girl! Keep’em coming! ❤️❤️❤️
I had a mother who was very critical. I learned early that to be happy was to be me, unedited. It just simply works, it’s guaranteed more honest, and I never had to keep track of who I was to whoever I was with at any given moment. (Great video, you look gorgeous!)
I just have to tell you what an eloquent speaker you are! Do you go on memory of what you want to say? I love the way you cover everything on the subject at hand, yet you keep us laughing with your surprise interjections of humor. You definitely are a people person without being a people pushover! Thank you for being you!
I have always been a people pleaser. It used to really bother me when I knew someone didn't like me. However, I have been trying to stop pleasing others and please myself. I find that as I get older knowing someone doesn't like me doesn't affect me like it used to. It's one day at a time.. one foot forward.. I love your channel and look forward to Sat night to see what you and Desi are up to.
I remember working with this younger woman. She hated me. I couldn’t figure it out. What had I done for her to feel that way about me. I prayed for her and things would be ok for a day. But, she would just go back to being rude to me. Well I finally decided. She wasn’t going to get to me anymore. I was never mean to her. But, I decided not to let someone get to my heart and make me feel bad and hurt. We just need to let those who hate us be. It’s nothing to do with us. I love watching your videos and your uplifting. Hi to precious Desi. ❤️
OH MY GOODNESS...clicked on by happenstance. This is me, now in life. I am 64. And after ALL I have been through in my life, I seriously am not here to pander after everyone else's life and desires. Thank you or sharing....beautiful
Wishing much JOY to the Sassy contest winners💥 Thank you Susan for introducing us to VENUS!! Great video today …. I am like a battery I am positive person but seem to most mostly draw negative men to me. I thought I could change their outlook on life but guess they thought they could change mine. These days I live my joy and let them live theirs. A much more peaceful existence.
🔋So cute! I have often felt like a moth🦋 constantly being drawn to thee flames🔥trying to put them out 💦and heal them, only left me burned.😓 Stay strong 💪🏻 & witty.😉
Looking beautiful Susie. I remember exactly where I was, and what I was doing when I realized it was not my job to please everyone. I was 33. So thankful I learned this lesson early. "To thine own self be true' has helped me stay true to myself. Congratulations to the three lucky winners!!! Blessings, and love to you, and The Dez...MaryEllen P.S. I watched you early this morning as I sipped my first delicious cup of coffee.
I needed this talk. I've been a people pleaser my entire life. Especially with my mom. It gave me so much hope hearing that your relationship with your mom got so much better after you stopped trying to please her. I just enjoy your videos so much! Seeing Desi play made me SO HAPPY!! Thank you for sharing him with us. I hope you enjoy your date tomorrow! I KNOW you are going to look beautiful, classy, sexy AND SASSY! Congrats to the winners. ❤🤗
Thank you for sharing these truths. I was just talking to my lovely niece yesterday about this subject. I am trying hard at 74 to stop trying to be a people pleaser. As an oldest child, it is hard. I am having health issues because of stress and it is absolutely necessary for me to eliminate this stress. I cannot solve the problems that others have brought on themselves. Your music and fall photos and your precious doggie bring peace to your followers. Thanks!!
Congrats to whomever won. 💜 💜 💜 💜 Being who I really am, has come with maturity, as I have grown in experience. I wish I could just sprinkle fairy dust to assist those working thru their stuff to feel more comfortable in their own skin, sooner. I know, I know, life is a journey not an event. Enjoy your joy. Peace Sisters. 🙏🏽 🌟
I use to be a people pleaser. But you are absolutely correct when you get older you don't give hoot. And it is so freeing. Now I can really enjoy my life and not have to feel quilty for a thing! What a blessing it is 😊
I have always said the only nice thing about getting older is you don't care what anyone thinks about you. You have more self confidence and I found that that made people dislike you even more.
I loved this Trisha!!! Yu sumed up in 15 words what I tool 20 minutes to say!!! Happy weekend!!!!! xxoo Susan & Desi ( Gangsta!!!)
I agree....there will allways be people who donot like the change but for me it feels so much better and.....i still be a kind person!🥰
💯 So very True! 💕
I luv your look so beautiful ❤️ Not everyone is going to like me and I don't want negativity in my life. We are our own best friend. If you like yourself that's all that matters.❤️❤️🇨🇦
Well said
I used to be a people pleaser. I was married 9 years to a husband who cheated on me. We had two children so I tried to make it work. One day when I was 33 years old and my kids were 8 and 4, I looked at him and realized I did not love him enough to live unhappily ever after with him. I finished my teaching degree and divorced him in a year. I discovered that I didn't have to be a people pleaser. I spent a couple of years finding ways that were free to enjoy life (we were poor) ... reading poetry in a big comfy chair at the library, trying new soup recipes, making homemade pizza with my kids every Friday night and watching a $2 movie we picked out (at a video store - 1993). Then I met my dream man in the grocery store. We dated 4 years, got married and blended our families. Finally, I found someone I could be completely honest with and tell him what I need. 25 years later, we are still together.
Beautiful❤ happy for you! Best wishes on your journey!❤❤❤❤❤❤
Wow, I can directly relate to you. Same situation.☺️no regrets
Love, love, love your honesty and sincerity. Recently decided at 71yrs old that my life is my life now and I've given away enough of me. What's left is for me to be myself and live my life my way. Look out world I've finally arrived 😅😅😅
I’ve told my daughter that no one is perfect. Jesus was perfect but yet he wasn’t liked by everyone. Therefore, not everyone is going to like you.
I think you are speaking right to me...I have lost my joy..I'm trying to get it back..I have to tell people when they hurt me. Be more of a leader instead of a follower..I love listening to you..you are so helpful..Desi is.the.sweetest
🤲🏻 🤍✌🏻
Amen!
Not everyone is going to like you and that's perfectly okay. 👌
So true. He was, and is, perfect.
Yet, many took offense to Him.
I read this once and loved it:
Stop trying to be liked by everybody - you don't even like everybody.
So true. ❤
Yes! Well said.
Yes, yes! That is what song I was thinking when Susan heard a song in what she said. Ricky Nelson,,,You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself.
Hi 👋 Suzie, can I please ask you a question?
Suzie you are right have A blessed day
Old habits are hard to break.
I learned that when someone ghosts you, let it be and never push yourself on anyone that does not like you.
Hi 👋 Sherryp, can I please ask you a question?
@@patrickmckinley9937?
@@theteal123 Okay Sherry I just want to be friendly with you but I don't think you will be okay talking here publicly. I suggest we talk about it on Email ✉️💞🙏... What do you think? 🤔🌹🌹
@@patrickmckinley9937 what is this about? Why on comments with little poet? Is it about real estate? I am a realtor.
You're absolutely right about that. Don't glut From Misery!
Desi
Is being his authentic self by playing with all his toys at once
Adorable baby
You should be a motivational speaker. In high school, I was shy and backward, because I thought I was fat. Really I wasn't but I had a cousin that called me tank. I went on and had a boyfriend, who I married. He was married to his job more than me. We divorced and I ran around with friends and drank and was a party animal..I was not happy. , felt pressured to be something I wasn't. Met a man who had never been married and he treated me good, we went every where together. I spent alot of time fixing myself up for him...kept a clean house etc. But I found out he was cheating on me and it hurt bad because I had given up so much for him and deprived myself. I am now 75 years old, we are still together, but now I live for myself...if I want to do something and he doesn't..I do it & he can sit at home.. Too many years wasted trying to please him. Take care.
God bless you Margaret. Love yourself the most! ❤ Be your favorite person.
Hi 👋 Margaret, can I please ask you a question?
As long as your happy in your situation thats all that matters
My brother in law once told me "There will always be some SOB that doesn't like you. And for no reason". So true.
This resonated with me too. I married young the first time and did everything he said, wore the clothes he bought. Don’t say this don’t say that, I’ll take care of that, don’t do that. Don’t go see your family I’m the only one who loves you…I left at 28 with 2 kids all I knew was that there had to be something better than that. I married the second time at 30 then spent 24 years hiding who I was again. Don’t say that, don’t do that. Though he wasn’t abusive this time he never saw me or my needs for a mate. When I left people were so angry with me, family included, well why leave him? He took care of you, your boys, the bills…but I knew he wouldn’t have liked me if I spoke up or told him how I really felt about certain things I couldn’t be myself, again so…I left. I felt like my whole life all I’d ever done was what a man told me to do because I watched my mother do the same. When I left my kids were grown and I knew I could take care of myself because I did have enough sense to get a college degree during my second marriage. I was 52. It was hard being alone at first…but then I went on a 10 year discovery plan into the depths of me and I am now the happiest I’ve ever been. I’ve retired have a small two bedroom apartment with a beautiful balcony. I garden and decorate, go to outdoor activities, live music, farmers markets, travel and just love the life I’ve created for myself. And yes…I’m still single yet not lonely. Life has finally become beautiful ♥️♥️♥️
@ Angela, this is my life, I’m going back to school at 56, I’m finding me, Im learning my feelings matter, sometimes I feel maybe I wasn’t meant to fall in love or be loved, I need to be at peace with that... I loved reading about your life , you give me Hope... THANK YOU
I lived through one marriage something like yourself I can share how hard it was. I’m happy for you.
Way to go Angela !!
I think this is 100% fabulous if you can sort a way to live independently where you feel you fit in and build your own life successfully.. I'm just getting there loving my life !
Thanks for sharing, so inspiring
How inspiring you are. You followed your soul. I can’t say I did the same. I gave up myself for the men in my life. But I’m beginning to see that’s just the way it has to be if you want to have a man in your life. No matter what stage of life you are in - you have to give up so much of yourself .. .and yet. . . I do feel a hole . . .just being on my own . . It’s so hard. Even tho we all know the downsides.
This Friday I was at home and decided to get in the car and take myself out for a fabulous meal at my favorite restaurant. I’ve been going out by myself occasionally since my husband passed but it had been 2 years that I treated myself to a nice dinner because of Covid. The meal was fabulous and I got to be around people. I loved it. I don’t know about others but since the pandemic I’ve been more timid. So, get out even if it is by yourself once in a while. It’s very empowering. It’s wonderful to just be yourself. Thanks for the video. Loved it
Hi 👋 Dear, can I please ask you a question?
I'm a 62yr. Old man and I just wanted to say that all you women who are going through such a lonely experience at this time need to have a good man who truly appreciates you and loves you for who you are 💞 . Loving you from the recess of both your hearts! Your all so extremely beautifully made! Suzie, your truly georgeous! Signed,
Caring! 😁
Right you are lovely lady !Do treat yourself with things you love !❤️✨
I like u
I love u
I need u
I meet u
I m alone
I m single
Merry me
Make u so so happy happy every time forever I m intrested 👧👧👧👧👧💑💑💑💑💑👪👪👪👪👪😍😍😍😗😗😗😘😘😘😚😚😚💋💋💋💏💏💏👄👄👄👄💝💝💝💝💖💖💖💘💘💘❤❤💞💞💕💕💕🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌷🌷🌷🙋🙋🙋🙋
I am 58, I have a chronic illness and got really bloated and fat. I had been good looking when I was young and though that isn't everything it was a big part of my identity. All of a sudden no one even recognize me. I wouldn't go out much, not just because of how I looked but because the illness made me tired and sore. Then the pandemic came and my son left home to go to university. I had to work from home. It was really lonely but everyone was in the same boat. I thought it would go back to being ok once it was over but I feel even more lonely now. I never went back to working full time and much of the work is still from home. I feel like I am just trading water.
Remember what Ricky sang at the garden party……can’t please everyone so you gotta please yourself. At this stage in my life I don’t have the patience for the nonsense of egos. Thanks for keeping our spirits and joys up!Give your little man a big hug for me!
Oh I love that song!!!
I feel the same way.
Exactly!
Yes thank you. Darling.
I’ve finally came into my own after nine years after my husband’s passing. I am making my apartment my own, buying myself flowers, buy myself clothes that I want, eating healthy but when I want to treat myself I certainly do. I may listen to advice but I go ahead and do what I want. I’ve learned to say no and am finally living for myself. I do what I can for others but only if I’m comfortable doing it. My attitude is “if you’re with me, you’re with me and if you’re not, you’re not”. I’m 74 and for once am enjoying life to the fullest. It’s about time and I hope others follow suit a little earlier than I have. We only come by this life once. Make it beautiful.
"What Others Think About Me is None of My Business"...
I'm finally at a point in my life where I don't give a rats what others think about me nor am I interested in hearing about it. I like me. Anyone that doesn't is welcome to not be around me. It took me decades to get to this point. The peace and freedom that has come with it has been an enormous weight lifted off my shoulders.
~A Former People Pleaser
With tears. There's so much to say with sorrow. But your talks give such light and hope to women . Thank you for such kind words.
Congrats to the winners. I am so far past worrying about who does and doesn't like me. I am to old and tired of nasty people or people that believe they are the main and only ones to matter. Being alone is a blessing. I am happy with my own company and not having to cater to others when what is really important is peace and calm.
Beautifully said I feel exactly the same!
Yes Rhône, I agree , Peace and clam is all that matters 💕
Totally agree
OMG! Thank you so much Susan! I’m just thrilled that you drew my name. I’m going on a short cruise in April and that sassy little black dress you modeled will be perfect 🥰.
Congratulations! 💞
WTG winner!!!😉
Congratulations 🎈 🍀🌷🌻🥰
@@breannelove7442 thank you!
@@lemondrop8685 thank you!
I know a lady who puts everyone down. She comments on everything from their clothes, how much they weigh, what makeup or lack of it they have. I have gotten to where I don’t want to spend time with her listening to put downs. I enjoyed your video and agree with you about how you can’t please everyone and be liked by everyone.
And you can rest assured she talks trash about you as well.
This is SO POWERFUL! I spent most of my life wondering what one earth was wrong with me. I never understood why I had so many haters until early 2020 when it was revealed that no matter what I did, no matter who I was, no matter what I did for others, it would never be right in some people's eyes. Lightbulbs went off all over the place in my head. I own a business, love to exercise and stay in shape, eat a certain kind of diet, and that's just how I am and what I've chosen. And I have haters for it. It's unreal. Why don't or can't we just celebrate each other for who we are? I've finally have taken myself back, cut out the noise, and unapologetically continued on the path that is right for me.
I envy your life girl!!! I need to do more of everything you just said!!! I love it!!! You are an inspiration!! Happy weekend to you! xo Susan & Dez
I’m in my fifties and I notice that often women our age stop being people pleasers and don’t give a damn what people think out of a spirit of confidence and peace. When I was younger I noticed that women that age who stopped being people pleasers and didn’t give a damn what people thought about them did so out of a spirit of “stick it” and rebellion against the norm. Maturity is a wonderful, peaceful clarifier.
So well put.
I was raised by a mother that hated me and did everything in her power to destroy me emotionally! She even made me marry someone she chose because she thought his famiy was rich and she could get some of that money! He abused me both physically and emotionally for the 2 years we were married. I prayed that he would just kill me and get it over with! When I FINALLY got out of that marriage I rejoiced that I was finally free. Since then I HAVE NEVER GIVEN A DAMN what people thought of me, NOT ONCE!!! You can like me for who I am or move on. I will not let that trouble me for even one second!! We, ladies, are MORE THAN ENOUGH!!! Never let anyone tell you otherwise!!!
Your caramel highlights look gorgeous! You can't make everyone like you, so like yourself and do your best. It's enough :) I was the black sheep of the family with a narcissist mother and my sister was the golden child. I refuse to do that anymore. There's no more room for guilt and shame in my life.
I had a similar family dynamic but because of that I refuse to come second anymore, it’s now all about me..in a good way of course😉
@@sallybutton6237 I think your attitude is fantastic. It's wonderful to have a life now with no drama and no guilt trips isn't it? :) I wake up smiling and I don't go to bed worried at night.
@littlepoet I was edited by my accompanist for 20+ years. Even when the tables turned, and I was Her boss, she refused to do anything other than what her sensibilities wanted. Even funeral requests, a modern or ( Heaven forbid) a jazzy piece...well, let's say the 1 time I insisted on her playing a piece as requested, she played as if it was a circus tune, she was So Damn Stubborn!!! I actually have PTSD now when I perform. I can never let go and just do a song as I want to. I hope to grow out of it. Someday. She always professed to love me, but her actions showed me otherwise. 💔
I've always been a people pleaser. It was how I got through life from being abandoned at age 5. But I have found since I retired and am widowed I have no one to please but me. My sister said, you are really blossoming into who you were meant to be! I do know one thing, I'm starting to really enjoy life!!
I wish I really could enjoy life. And do for myself and dude thinks that I enjoy, having dinner or taking a small trip. But I don't know how. LOL I don't know where to go out to dinner or what to eat if I were to go. For fair I may order the wrong thing and not like it. I don't know where to go. I don't even know what I like. It's a self I've never existed but for slavery for others. Do you know what I mean?
Oh, how I look forward to Saturday evening! Such a pleasure to be in you and Desi's company.
Yes yes yes!
When people run into someone, ( like you for instance,) who`s bubbly and happy and eager to please others; they don`t hate you, they envy you. People tend to confuse jealousy and envy with hate, but they don`t really know you, so there is no reason to hate you. There are some who like to pass their misery on to others, so they have the ability to try and bring you down with their scorn, if you allow it. You are right, the older and wiser you get the less it bothers you. I`m 82 and time is too precious to waste it on negative energy. Just bless them with that lovely smile of yours and move on, because there are many out there who will appreciate your kindness and sweet spirit. Sometimes just a smile in passing, can make a stranger`s day much better....Love the beautiful fall colors in your area and by the way, you do look great in all of the clothes you model and wear. Love and Blessings to you and sweet Desi.
I love your new hair color. It suits you and your skin tone so well. Step right up, I am a people pleaser my whole life. Now I am a me pleaser. I do what pleases me and it suits me so much better. I’m the same person, but living life like a free bird now. Not a caged one!🕊
Gosh, we HAVE to not give a damn what everyone things when we mature. There's no one that takes better care of us than US!
In the past 4 years, I have learned why women somethings don't wear a shirt that matches their pants. Or, the socks just don't go with the rest of the outfit. The reason is because it's comfortable! And, feeling comfortable in our own clothes (and skin) feels so much better than trying to fit into what anyone else wants us to wear. It took me to 'getting there' for me to finally 'get it'. Now, I'm sorry that I was so judge-y before. So what if 'they' say that a woman at 60 isn't supposed to wear glitter eyeshadow...tough, I do! I don't care that anyone thinks a 60 year old shouldn't wear flashy lipstick either. I love to glitter and glow and.....BE SASSY!!!
Pretty smile 😊
That's me as well 💄
When I came to Spain I tried to fit in to my new culture. It wasn’t easy at first . I realized that I needed to be happy . I still feel lonely but I have finely made some good friends who accept me for who I am .
I heard a Pastor once say, " Not everyone in this world is going to like you, and your not going to like everyone in this world either". That really freed me from trying to please people.
This Channel makes my week so much better
My father, may he Rest In Peace, said to me “you weren’t put on this earth for everybody to like you”. I do what I can always to operate my life with integrity and honesty- that’s all I can handle😉💃🤓
Oo sorry Elizabeth 💐
Quickest way to find out who your real friends are by saying "no". Oprah Winfrey once said on her show when you say "no", that person will keep asking until someone else says "yes". It is true as I changed my world by it prioritising others.
Each passing year shows a more profound you, a more authentic you, and still a person I adored from the first hello. I'm a reformed people pleaser. I find I wrap the pleasure of being older and wiser around me like a snuggly blanket. There is a true joy in not giving a dam if you're not liked by everone. Sue's, you are looking so radiant. Keep doing what you are doing. Make us think and feel.
Every year I swear you get more beautiful, inside and out. Your words are so lovely and always make me think....
Love the snuggly blanket.
Hi 👋 Paula, can I please ask you a question?
@@patrickmckinley9937 Of course
@@paulawhite2546 Okay Paula I just want to be friendly with you but I don't think you will be okay talking here publicly. I suggest we talk about it on Email ✉️💞🙏... What do you think? 🤔🌹🌹
Thank you, Susan, for one of the best videos ever. As someone once stated: "It takes courage to have courage. It takes courage to not give up, to face the challenge. Once being fearful, we again have to take courage to endure. You teach this by just being you and sharing your life, thoughts and opinions. I am so grateful I found you!
Oh Susan you are so right. I really needed to hear this, There is a person in my life who I love but I know they don't like me. It's not a man it's a female
In my family. I realise now that no matter how good I am to them they will never never love me or like me. Thank you xx
I wasn't going to say, but this person in my life is my daughter in-law.
Susie- my father was an extremely handsome man a real looker, he was in the business as a studio musician at MGM in 1940s, he had three daughters and we were all expected to be tall and thin and I knew if I put on a few pounds he definitely mentioned it, I loved my mom and dad soooo very much and they were wonderful. But growing up I definitely wanted to please them, at 65 I look back and can see how hard that was on me , I don’t give a damn
Anymore I think I look good and at peace it’s definitely an eye opener❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hi 👋 Kristina, can I please ask you a question?
@@patrickmckinley9937 sure
@@kristinaroberts7216 Okay Kristina I just want to be friendly with you but I don't think you will be okay talking here publicly. I suggest we talk about it on Email ✉️💞🙏... What do you think? 🤔🌹🌹
Jealously is a sickness! We can’t help but be sad for these people, they are so critical! 🥺🥺🥺
I'm in tears as I struggle deeply with this. I will be turning 62 in just a few days. I know what I want to do. But, I don't know how to get there. It will mean finding a way to give my adult children the push they need to live their lives, so in turn...I can live my authentic life...I see it, however it is just out of reach. Thanks for this video today Susan. It so spoke to me.
AWE 😳 It can only get better ..I feel the same way too ..but we got to get up..and Just do it..walk get fresh air this removes toxins..take our 100 mg Vit C..and Vit D3 100 mg..Nicin 100 mg.. and eat healthy...I am down 40 lbs..Weight watchers.. almost free at $4 for 3 months and $21.98 3 months have download the App..to keep track of 40 oz water a day and your points I had to have 21 points a day...a huge list of 0 point foods all veggies, all fruit baked chicken, no skin..turkey, fish..no oils..I use the spray butter..and fake sugar... Blessings beloved Sister I live in so. CA. You can do it..I need a cheer leader too 🥺 ...You got it...1 foot in front of the other...15 minutes..is a start...⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Why are their lives impacting what you do?
This was a powerful message that we all can learn by. My mom passed away this week at age 93 and that was a long life but it made me think how short life really is in the scope of things. So we need to spend our years making ourselves happy and being kind to others along the way. Some will like us some won't. I know someone really needed to hear that tonight. I have been very sad this week but you and Desi always bring a little cheer my way. You look lovely and Desi is an amazing little creature ❤️. Congratulations to the lucky winners.
🤗💙😇 Cheer up beautiful Soul, she’s shining her light down on you from Heaven!🌞 🌈 🕊
How wonderful you she had 93 years......she did not outlive her child that loves/loved her!
@@joannewsome5202 thank you for the kind words of encouragement.
@@NaturalHealingAlchemist thank you so much.
@@etonly2277 yes she outlived her 7 siblings as well.
When you are young, you have to please parents, teachers, bosses, spouses. That is the beauty of growing older, taking charge of who we are and what we want!
I have to say this to myself all the time..."You were born an original, so don't waste your time trying to be a copy." Wisdom I've learned only through age and experience. You are so right....
Hi 👋 Sharri, can I please ask you a question?
Hi sharri have a bless day God bless and grant u your heart desire 😍
Sage advice for all of us! And I loved the footage of Desi having fun with his basket of toys! So sweet.
You are so right, people who hate is because they fear something in themselves. I learned that late in life. I wasted a life time of people pleasing, because I wanted to be kind and thoughtful and authentic. Some people would be cruel and take advantage of my kindness and that crushed my heart wondering why they didn't like me or try to hurt me. Now I just live my life and do things that make me happy and TRY to not care what people say or think. Now I say "No" when it is necessary. The advantage of aging is that we can finally live our authentic selves with pride.
I’m a hopeless people pleaser and wish I could change this. Unlike you, it’s not getting better as I get older. Thanks for your encouraging words.
I've always been, too, and the last few years I am finally realizing the problem, and just don't obsess about certain things anymore....I suppose it just comes with getting older! No one can please everyone all the time....
Sometimes it's compassion, sometimes it's guilt, sometimes its ego.
Sometimes it's necessity. Whatever the reason. Unless its out of pure love and aligns with me. I will not sacrafice myself for anyone who manipulative or lazy or....
You choose. But having healthy boundries is not selfish. It's necessity.
My neighbor was a pleaser
After knowing her last 20yrs. She is now closed her heart. Too much to the opposite extreme now.
Saddly I think it broke her a bit. The last job she had. She did everything and watched younger pretty women get validation. But she was the doormat.
Gotta know pur boundries. Good luck,
Listen to that song.
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ME EVERY DAY SWEETIE FOR A WEEK.
LMK how that goes.💛
I have many many many regrets in life.
Not about the fabulous piece of furniture or dress or house that i failed to purchase.
The most profound and deepest regrets are not saying "I love you "
It's too late now because my father and mother are in heaven and recently my husband of 52 years. My first and only love since we met when i was just 15 years young. 😪
Oh man! I've been seeing articles about people pleasing, videos about people pleasing, podcasts about people pleasing! Sometimes when you need something it keeps smacking you right on the head until you listen! I'm old yet I'm still learning about this and getting better all the time. It's a thing. Thank you Susan once again. xxoo
Hi 👋 Deborah, can I please ask you a question?
@@patrickmckinley9937 sure
@@Deborah1056 Okay Deborah but I don't think you will be okay talking here publicly. I suggest we talk about it on Email 📨🙏🙏... What do you think? 🤔🌹🌹
@@patrickmckinley9937 nope
As we age we often find our voices and have the confidence that we lacked as younger women. Something that truly gave me a way to push through judgements and others opinions is this , "What you think of me is none of my business!!" I wish that it was a bumper sticker or a refrigerator magnet so that we could see it often and realize that we don't need the approval of others. The only person we have to please is ourselves. Once we realize this, we become very powerful women!! Thanks Susan for all of your wonderful content, you are a treasure!!
Easier said then done!
I've learned that by trying to please everybody you just destroy yourself. Like you said, it takes a toll on your physical and mental health and it's just not worth it. The 'burnout" leaves you so drained there's no energy for enjoying anything. We all deserve happiness and to have it, we need to please ourselves first and then life just seems to fall into place. Thank you for this video, Susan
Hi 👋 Susan, can I please ask you a question?
@ Susan , so True!!!!!
Grateful for the insight you offer, as this is something I’m questioning in my own life right now. At 64, I do feel the sadness, and disappointment of feeling forgotten by those that I spent so long trying to please. I do believe we must move forward with a positive mindset, and absorb the light of the moments that serve to teach us. So, I am absorbing the beautiful wisdom of this community, and your special videos. Thank you!
I totally agree with you Elizabeth. I’m 65 and have very few friends. I’m working on being my authentic self. It’s empowering to sit and realise that I’m getting there; always we are a W.I.P…..( work in progress).
Isn’t this a lovely channel. I do enjoy it. Have a great weekend
@@tennysoneffie6943 I’m so glad you shared those thoughts! Yes, this channel and community are wonderful.
All the best,
Your fellow W.I.P.😊
Amen sister! You touched me with your words about having spent all that time, effort, caring & pleasing ( my words for it.😉) Only to find out years & years later that they never reciprocated that care... a terrible realization indeed & these folks still care less about you (me). Who knew? Well, now we know. It feels to me that a huge burden has been removed, having stepped back & stepped away from those who once mattered greatly to me. You know, I realized they did not & still do not, care that I finally separated from them. The world of "givers" & "takers" truly exists. And the "takers "..... I've left them behind.
I was ten the first time someone told me I was getting fat. My weight and I have been duking it out ever since. It took me until I was sixty to stop caring so much about what others think. Today I surround myself with those who love me, and work on loving myself. It is very freeing to realize that it's not me, it's them. I am good enough for today.
Great topic! Being a people pleaser burnt me out at work......I have finally reached an age where I do not care what others think of me.....I loved seeing the snow! Im in New York waiting patiently for snow here....lol....have a great week!
The spirit of the Lord is within you.
You have a loving caring soul and it shines brilliantly.
Anyone who dislikes you is envious and jealous of you.
I believe that everyone loves you!
You are totally sincere. Thank you for sharing your sorrows and your joys.
God bless you abundantly ❤
Wow, thank you...you borught a tear to my eye...so very lovely you are...xxoo Sues & Dez
It's funny how you can have 99 people that love you but you will harp on the 1 that doesn't...whom probably doesn't even like themselves anyway. I needed this video today more than you know. Thank you, Susan
I asked my husband if I was a good, caring woman, he said yes, I couldn’t believe it. Someone acknowledged that for me.
Hi Susan! Oh how’ll I enjoyed your video this evening.
I just decided last weekend when my family was not hearing a word I was saying cause they were to wrapped up in their opinions.
I said to myself. No point in talking when no one is listening.
So I just walked away and said to myself. I cannot do this no more.
Don’t let em put you down
Don’t let em push you around
Don’t let em change your point of view.
Just like you said Susan, it’s me…..it’s how’ll I feel and think…
Have Yourself A Beautiful Sunday. Enjoy Your Date.
Hi 👋 Sandra, can I please ask you a question?
Congrats to all the Winners! I know how amazing you're feeling right now! Susan you are amazing yourself and I look forward to seeing you on here! When I was younger I just I always felt like as long as I'm happy with how I look and what I say then it doesn't matter about what other people think....I think that's what kept me going and not give up... Everybody has their own idea and thoughts about everything so we could not possibly please everyone... I do think it's important to please yourself and be happy for yourself because that's what the Lord wants....
He wants our Best because he gives us His Best! Love seeing little Desi play! Till next time, be happy! ❤️
Hi 👋 Debi's, can I please ask you a question?
Congratulations to all the winners. Susan you look more beautiful than you think 💕
Their will always be someone that doesn't like you No matter what you do or don't do Just because ❣😊👍💛
I was always sad for my mother because even in her 90's she still was so concerned about what people thought about what she wore, her makeup, etc. I told her many times not worry about what people thought and just live her life and be happy. She just never could. I, on the other hand, have learned to not give a damn and am true to who I am.
There's all kinds of trials & heartbreaks, disappointments with people we've known or know, but what's comforting to me, is my little dog Sammie. He loves me unconditionally & is happy just to be with me. He gives me so much joy. When I feel stressed by the things of this world, once he jumps up on my lap & gives me that sweet loving look my stress melts away. Put your thoughts on what's good & beautiful and it will warm your heart and ease one's mind.
My companion dog fills those empty places in my life. Widowed suddenly & the shocking loss after our 35 years together (feels like way too brief a time) has clarified my outlook on life. I truly understand the powerful impact of an amazing companion dog.... after having beloved dogs all my adult life & loving them... there's something amazingly different about this unique Woody boy that feels like a relationship beyond any other dog. Bless you & your companion dog.
@@carolbusse5803 dear Carol, thank you for your reply to my comment. You are all so right. Sorry for the sudden loss of your husband. I too, had a sudden loss of my husband & I don't know what I would have done without my sweet doggy. God bless you & your best friend.
Thanks Susan, people pleaser here for the last 20 years I hope to gain myself once again, listening to your advice helps❤ congratulations to the winners! Please pray for my mom Polly she watches your channel and in ICU fighting Covid, she's my best friend and always try's to tell me to be whatever I want to be. I love her so much💜🙏
I pray God gives your mom the strength to get through Covid! My mom is my best friend too! What does Kia2 MiMi mean?
Kia, I will pray for your mother that she receives the best care from her medical team and fully recovers. You are blessed to have such a wonderful, loving relationship with her. 🙏🏻❤️
Sending prayers for your mom 🙏
🙏❣️🙁
@@brenyule thank you🙏
Hi Susan! Oh my gosh, this video was so timely! My brother is like your Mama's brother. I was in tears 2 nights ago after a 1 hour visit with my Mom and brother which turned into a berating from my miserable brother. After a sad, hurt night, I acknowledged that my self preservation is more important than subjecting myself to his hostility. So I will just stay away from him. BTW I had not seen them in months. I have friends who value, respect and treat me kinder than my dysfunctional family. Thank God for my friends and my children. Thank you for your wisdom & honesty. 🌹❤🌹
I have gone through the same thing with both of my brothers. I walked away....for good. You are right....self preservation is more important. Stay strong Kim!
@@heatheradamson2280 Thank you for your uplifting message @Heather!! I hope you're staying strong as well🌻
Hi 👋 Kim, can I please ask you a question?
@@patrickmckinley9937 piss off leave these women alone
Why didn't you tell your brother to stick it ?
I am 56 years old and I finally realized pleasing others isnt as important as how I felt inside. I grew tired of the shallow people who made me feel hollow, like a hole in my heart, then one day I stopped crying and It may be realize that's the day I stopped caring about everything even for myself. People pleasing is hard work and it will make a person physically sick I know because it happened to me for years. It isn't anything that when we get belittled when we feel like we have to measure up when we feel like we are not good enough, That in itself is a realization and it made me realize that I needed to change from trying to please others, stop being available for everybody it's almost like a robotic life. I broke out of my shell and evolved most recently I was told I was lacking in confidence. I turn to that person and I told her I am learning something new everyday I learned that other people are unhappy with their self when they have to be little others and at that moment I was confident and saying that to her made me realize I am in a healing process and will not allow anyone to tear it down. I like myself for who I am now and I love this video and thank you so much for putting it out there for everyone to see and to know that it's okay not to please other people. I feel like the wind, I'm free to move about now.
I hope we can teach our children and grandchildren to be authentic from the get go to avoid what we had to relearn in our 60’s! Learning is the backbone of our lives!
Have a great week you lovely ladies! ❤️🥰❤️
When you talked about your mom being edited by her brother it reminded me of the character Birdie in the movie The Little Foxes.
She was such a sweet lady who was bullied by everyone, because she was so kind she would go along to get along and it crushed her soul!
Had a friend tell me recently I seemed comfortable in my own skin and that made me feel so good . You are so right that we should be true to ourselves .
I’m so over being a people pleaser. I’ve learned to be content just being me. God’s given me piece, joy & contentment (with love for others), but without trying to please them. I’ve learned to please God by Loving Him & myself first. Thank you for all your deep conversations. It makes us think about ourselves, when we (as women) tend to always be nurturing to others.
🤲🏻 🤗 ✌🏻
Excellent advice,I agree.
Please God, worship God.
Consider and respect people, especially those who have been given roles in your life that require particular respect, but putting God first creates a "safety net" that helps prevent triggering comments touching our inner being.
We can also gain more perspective.
For instance, perhaps your Mum was worried about your health, Susan or concerned about the effects of your situation/relationship on your well being.
As a mother,I am always concerned about the well being of my children.
I have seen the problems that weight gain can cause, and I don't want that for my anyone.. and especially not my children.
I'm not excusing uncalled for put downs, but perhaps we are triggered by topics/comments that are already sensitive to us.. instead of taking what is helpful and then moving on.
I just had my little girl Sassy put down yesterday. So sad. She was one beautiful little sassy girl . I loved her to death.
Oh Lori....I am so sorry for your loss....are you ok?
That’s a tough loss. I’m sorry.
Dear Lorie, I feel your pain I lost my beloved male ginger cat who understood 21 words and I still can feel him around me , also I still look for him and he has been gone now for over two years. So Please pamper yourself A LOT during these Holidays and into the New Year because you deserve IT !
@@LittlePoet thank you Susan. She definitely took a part of my heart with her. It’s so hard I got her after my husband left me for another woman after 30 years. She was my best friend, confidant and companion. I still have my little rag doll boy but he is 14 and on meds right now. I just pray he will be with me a little longer. I’m 65 and alone. My cats are my whole world.
How was your date. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. I really look forward to your videos. Thank you beautiful sassy lady.
@@sallyramaker1292 thank you so much. They definitely take a piece of our heart
You will never be good enough for the wrong people. That's what made me realize I was wasting my time.
Congratulations to the winners! Everyone that watches this channel is winner ! I look so forward to Saturday nights !
At almost seventy three, I am more comfortable and have more confidence then I ever have. I don’t really care much what others think or if I’m not their cup of tea, I’m me and I’m enough. Good video Susan, love you outfit too. ❤️
So true! I consider it one of the greatest gifts in my life that always, my mum loved me for who I was. I believe it set the stage for only filling my life with people who do the same. I love the saying, "You have to teach people how to treat you." Great topic.
I was such a people pleaser and trying to make those around me pleased with me fractured Me....I have had to find out who I am and I really like me! But, another angle to it is that I had to forgive myself for doing that for years because when I made the final step and looked back on my life, I realized how maddening it had been to do that...And, how much time I wasted! Rather than knowing myself and living my bohemian style of Me and knowing that I was beautiful all those years when my X stopped loving me because I wasn't doing all the stuff he wanted but I began to nurture myself...it has been wonderful!
Yes a reformed people pleaser here. 😂. Took me many years and several close friends for me to get off that train. When I look back, my root cause- I was so afraid of abandonment. Learning thank goodness is life long process! I have choices. Love your videos and look forward to seeing you and Desi each week. Thank you for sharing.
My husbands name is what you see when I send a comment but he died 9 years ago. I have gone through struggles being alone, but now quite happy with my life. I know Jesus has got me through and I could not do life without Him. My husband was a pastor and loved the Lord, he was a great example to me. I have been unwell and always tired and scrolling through U Tube and finding you was a real blessing. Our tastes are so similar. Every time you pick up a painting, I love it!!! I love the way you decorate. You must make so many people happy. You just radiate joy and love. Thanks for being brave enough to do what you do. Ally
The very best thing about getting older is saying out loud what I used to just think. It gets some gasps and raised eyebrows sometimes 😂 but oh is it empowering. And so much fun😂. I can highly recommend it.
When I have ceased to break my wings
Against the faultiness of things
And learned that compromises wait behind each hardly opened gate
When I look Life in the eyes
Grown calm and very coldly wise
Life will have given me the Truth
And taken in exchange
My youth
Sara Teasdale.
Read that poem as a young girl and wasn't sure what it meant. Now I know at 65!!
Freedom years are HERE!
Ps. Poem entitled "Wisdom"
Just recently I found your utube channel. OMG! Thank you for your authentic sharing, as a mature, single woman.
You have and are helping me to recover and discover me, a beautiful revealing of myself that I have never known, but yet to be revealed... to myself.
Thank you!
You and I have so much in common. I saw as a young girl how my dad was so dominant over my mother, much like Arichie was over Edith in All in The Family . I made up my mind as a child not to partner with no one who could steal my joy, dreams and spont. You said it, "Be true to yourself, thats all you can do." My motto too, girlfriend.
I can relate to the story of your mom commenting on your weight, my mom did that too after I married and gained a lot where I was bigger than ever and it hurt. She and my dad made me feel like that was so important to be thin like I had no other good qualities? It's really sad. And those are things we can forgive our parents but you never forget it.
My whole life I’ve struggled with my weight and my whole life my mother has nagged me about it, publicly and privately. I always wondered “is there nothing else about me you could comment on, just my weight?”. It’s made me so sad. She doesn’t know the real me, she’s only interested in who she wants me to be. She’s 95 now and still picks on me. Very sad.
@@kaycee625 I'm so sorry. I wonder if her mother did that to her. Maybe you should tell her it makes you feel horrible when she does that.. if you haven't already. I never told my parents and they have both passed away years ago now. Tell her. If she gets mad oh well. :)
Congrats s-a-s-s-y winners! I came back and watched this video again because it has so many good ideas and such helpful advice about the "people pleasing" syndrome and the futility of trying to please SOME people who just want to be sour and dislike others without reason or because of jealousy!
Morning Susan. I remember how scared I was to post a video on YT in fear of what people would think. But then, I realized, no one really cares about it. They're just busy living their own lives. we wouldn't care what people think about us if we knew how little they think about us! Congrats to your winners, lucky ladies. btw, I love your new hair color, it
s very flattering. Hug Desi for me, ok?? , xoxo
Hi 👋 Donna, can I please ask you a question?
Being a people pleaser can run you ragged. YES!!! We do for others before we do for ourselves. Even to the point we don’t have enough time to get our chores or errands done because we are “doing’ so much for others. I’m almost 60 and still struggle with this. Pleasing and doing for others makes me feel good about myself. Thank you for touching on this very serious subject. I was a very quiet, socially awkward child. I was made fun of at school for wearing glasses and braces. My parents for very strict and I wasn’t allowed to go to dances or other school functions. I was a VERY LATE BLOOMER. To this day I have terrible Social Anxiety. After my divorce from the love of my life, at 50, I was forced to come out of my shyness some. I’m almost 60 and isn’t it sad that I’m just now feeling better about myself. All those years of youth, wasted. I often cry when I watch your videos because you touch on things I’ve struggled with. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Thank goodness my best friend since 3rd grade called me when she first saw your Chanel and convinced me to watch you. She thought you would be of help to me. You have helped me. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I cry because you touch my heart and I feel like you know my soul. Your delivery is sincere but also humorous!!!! Good Bless You and keep being your wonderful self!! Love, Lisa 🥰👍🌺
I am just loving your videos and I am divorced 57 years old... I am sassy and just being myself. Still raising my son who is 13 1/2! I had to stop being the people pleaser also. Blessings , Linda
Words are so powerful. The tongue a two edged sword . So nice to hear your words in such a pleasant voice. I watched/ heard your videos last week while walking for two hours and you brought so much positive energy into my heart. This video hits home. I am learning to please me first, in order to be good to please others. Its hard to say no sometimes. Practice males perfect. Btw I was just telling my friends I may go back to a sassy whispy hair cut I had a fee years ago . I like that word sassy 😃
Congratulations to the winners! I'm a recovering people pleaser. It is still hard to say no to others and not think about it for hours..days. Blessings to you and Desi from Midas and me!
Hi 👋 Deb, can I please ask you a question?
I have been watching you for a few months and at times I feel you are talking just to me. lol. I was always trying to please my mother in law who I knew did not like me because I married her only child! I met my husband back in 2005 and got married a year later. I met him online at the age of 50 and we fell in love. He lived in Texas and I
I decided to treat her with kindness everyday and not think about how she felt about me. I had a wonderful relationship with my mother and keep her in my heart always. As you get older you seem to view life with different eyes, thoughts and feeling. Enjoy everyday you have with the ones that love you unconditionally. That is the best way to be. My name is Lillian. Nice to meet you Susan. I am very new to UA-cam and it's nice to share time with you.
Words spoken here….so very true! I’ve finally got my joy and peace back in my life! It was such a hard decision to leave a marriage of 26 years but I caught myself NOT EVEN BREATHING! Walking on eggshells just to please someone else was for the birds! I’m so happy that you and your Mama got everything worked out! Once again, great video girl! Keep’em coming! ❤️❤️❤️
Hi 👋 Jody, can I please ask you a question?
I had a mother who was very critical. I learned early that to be happy was to be me, unedited. It just simply works, it’s guaranteed more honest, and I never had to keep track of who I was to whoever I was with at any given moment. (Great video, you look gorgeous!)
I just have to tell you what an eloquent speaker you are! Do you go on memory of what you want to say? I love the way you cover everything
on the subject at hand, yet you keep us laughing with your surprise interjections of humor. You definitely are a people person without being a people pushover! Thank you for being you!
I have always been a people pleaser. It used to really bother me when I knew someone didn't like me. However, I have been trying to stop pleasing others and please myself. I find that as I get older knowing someone doesn't like me doesn't affect me like it used to. It's one day at a time.. one foot forward.. I love your channel and look forward to Sat night to see what you and Desi are up to.
I remember working with this younger woman. She hated me. I couldn’t figure it out. What had I done for her to feel that way about me. I prayed for her and things would be ok for a day. But, she would just go back to being rude to me. Well I finally decided. She wasn’t going to get to me anymore. I was never mean to her. But, I decided not to let someone get to my heart and make me feel bad and hurt. We just need to let those who hate us be. It’s nothing to do with us. I love watching your videos and your uplifting. Hi to precious Desi. ❤️
OH MY GOODNESS...clicked on by happenstance. This is me, now in life. I am 64. And after ALL I have been through in my life, I seriously am not here to pander after everyone else's life and desires. Thank you or sharing....beautiful
Wishing much JOY to the Sassy contest winners💥 Thank you Susan for introducing us to VENUS!! Great video today …. I am like a battery I am positive person but seem to most mostly draw negative men to me. I thought I could change their outlook on life but guess they thought they could change mine. These days I live my joy and let them live theirs. A much more peaceful existence.
🔋So cute! I have often felt like a moth🦋 constantly being drawn to thee flames🔥trying to put them out 💦and heal them, only left me burned.😓 Stay strong 💪🏻 & witty.😉
What a surprise! Thank you so very much for drawing my name. I’ve had my eye on that duster you modeled and I’m so excited to shop for it!
YEAH DONNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wrote you instructions!!! So happy for you!
@@LittlePoet Thank you!🤩
I needed this video. I'm in a conundrum with my oldest daughter. This helped me so much Susan... thank you! Bless you, have a wonderful week. ❤ Jackie
Jackie. I am where you are with my beautiful 24 year old daughter so I will pray for you. My heart is so heavy.
Hi 👋 Pissy, can I please ask you a question?
Looking beautiful Susie. I remember exactly where I was, and what I was doing when I realized it was not my job to please everyone. I was 33. So thankful I learned this lesson early. "To thine own self be true' has helped me stay true to myself. Congratulations to the three lucky winners!!! Blessings, and love to you, and The Dez...MaryEllen
P.S. I watched you early this morning as I sipped my first delicious cup of coffee.
Hi 👋 Mary, can I please ask you a question?
I needed this talk. I've been a people pleaser my entire life. Especially with my mom. It gave me so much hope hearing that your relationship with your mom got so much better after you stopped trying to please her. I just enjoy your videos so much! Seeing Desi play made me SO HAPPY!! Thank you for sharing him with us. I hope you enjoy your date tomorrow! I KNOW you are going to look beautiful, classy, sexy AND SASSY! Congrats to the winners. ❤🤗
Thank you for sharing these truths. I was just talking to my lovely niece yesterday about this subject. I am trying hard at 74 to stop trying to be a people pleaser. As an oldest child, it is hard. I am having health issues because of stress and it is absolutely necessary for me to eliminate this stress. I cannot solve the problems that others have brought on themselves. Your music and fall photos and your precious doggie bring peace to your followers. Thanks!!
Hi 👋 Cheryl, can I please ask you a question?
Congrats to whomever won. 💜 💜 💜 💜
Being who I really am, has come with maturity, as I have grown in experience. I wish I could just sprinkle fairy dust to assist those working thru their stuff to feel more comfortable in their own skin, sooner. I know, I know, life is a journey not an event. Enjoy your joy. Peace Sisters. 🙏🏽 🌟
I use to be a people pleaser. But you are absolutely correct when you get older you don't give hoot. And it is so freeing. Now I can really enjoy my life and not have to feel quilty for a thing! What a blessing it is 😊