My Dog Knew I Had Cancer Before I Did
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- Опубліковано 15 лис 2021
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Your words are thunder, striking our ears as the lightning hits our souls, over and over again. Your words are a melody that makes us perk up and listen not only with our ears but with our hearts. Thank you. For all of your art, and your words. They truly resonate and touch my soul
When I light a green candle on my altar every week, I include an A in the initials I carve into it. My dog moans when my landlord lets her dogs out in the yard we share. But at night, sometimes he stands on the bed, staring out the window and growls into the darkness. There are monsters out there, not just inside of me. The monsters inside of me, he know they are waking up before I do. He drags me out of a store just as I feel them start to stir. He lays all 55 lbs of his dutiful furry love on me when they come in my sleep, holding me in the way he knows how, the most loving weighted blanket ever. On our walks, he show me things I might not have noticed - a kitten under a porch, the neighbor kid's new bike in their front yard, the possum playing possum on his midnight pee break. I promised him we'd leave the city. That promise hasn't been kept yet, but soon. We'll be out of here soon. And he'll have a whole new set of smells and sights to show me. Good dog, Squash, taking care of Andrea that way. It's worth a few teeth marks on the vacuum.
This has been my story for the past 3 years… the good veins, the walks, my shadow, and the chemo port chew toy… I’m right here with you, and even though this wasn’t in my plans, I’ve been able to find beauty and gratitude. Thanks for sharing.
This broke me. Utterly shattered. THERE ARE SOME SCARY THINGS WE CANT KEEP OUT. green healing light all around u. Bathe in it!!
I recently made contact with a very, very painful memory from ten years ago and realised I had lost a child on top of having experienced immense assault from someone I trusted AS a child. Since that first beautiful moment of the ugliest sobbing I have ever done, I have read each and every one of your newsletters, Andrea. So many times. Always to someone I love who has never even thought about hurting me. I have had joy meltdowns over your words for over ten years and now I genuinely believe that there is no such thing as shoddy Andy writing. Your words have always moved me when I had sworn against it. I think we’ve beaten each other’s Goosebumps record one after another for quite some time. You sharing your life with me in any way has always served me. Thank you. I wish you so much love you know what to do with all of it. ❤️
I feel a masochistic desire to keep listening even though this piece, as well as the one preceding it, broke my heart. When a soul is capable of giving empathetic voice to the universal pain of living with love, we should all stop in awe and absorb some of that experience. It may not take it away from the bearer but it provides a moment of solidarity in a world with far too few.
Your playing the piano invites one into your soul with an accompanying embrace 💕 I respond back with my I Love You Healing Infusion Embrace ❤️ 🤗
As I dive into writing again to harness something from the weight of the pain my body has felt these last 2 years, battling my own illness. Nurses smile over the presence of a thick blue vein that spreads down to my writing hand. She doesn't know how much that arm did or could do before the weakness came. I listened to Living Proof- what I found over several years ago and forgot. And somehow I ended here and the pools of tears that let me float on the surface of suffering with you- thank you so much for your words and sharing
My heart feels like it's breaking. I don't even know you in person, but I found it was possible to fall in love with your voice the first time I heard saying yes 7 years ago. Your poetry your art and love brought me back to myself a thousand times over and has healed me. I felt like I just found out my friend has cancer. All this selfishness is to say I love you without ever knowing you and I will pray every day 🙏🏽 for your healing. Visualizing you surrounded in healing white light. That you are given healing in the way you have helped so many of us. 💖💖💖
Same. And I had a cat named Idgie.
Same here ! 💓💓💓wishing you everything you wish for yourself :)
I have known many poets, heard there words, lived them, but you sweet soul, I am honored to hear you, to grow with you, to fight your fights, to feel remorse for my own selfishness of how I might feel, if the world lost you… you are a sister of the light and we will never meet … but you have saved me over and over again… I wish you peace… I wish you love… I wish you solace … blessed be… peace
This had me crying happy and sad tears all at once. Non human animals are so incredible, that bond is so real ❤️
Im in tears. I love you so much Andy, your words move be beyond all reckoning no matter how many time I listen to them, each time feels like the first
Sending you love and wellness from Seattle
I had no idea you were going through this. I’ve looked up to you for years. You’re an inspiration. Coming out was one of the hardest things I’ve gone through, and your poems were next to me the whole way. “Radio” is one of my favorites by you. Keep going strong 💕💕💕 life isn’t how long you live, it’s the memories and love you make along the way. You’ve made such a mark on the world. You’re beautiful in every way.
It's strange how a statement like good veins can be so empty to most. But to an iv drug user, it's a medal of honor.
Sending love and good vibes Andrea.
I have so much to say. And no words. I've just been diagnosed with breast cancer for a second time. And I have the most beautiful dog ever born (sorry! Don't we all feel that way?) That's all I've got.
Andrea... I am at such a loss. Your poems have pulled and kept me out of the endless pit of depression. I pray to whatever gods may believe in me that you pull through your cancer. Sending all the love I can muster your way.
god you have no idea of how much your words and your existence mean to me, sending lots of love your way
You brought out an immense love for poetry in me, your words speak to the core of my soul, I pray you wellness from 🇳🇬
I have really shitty veins. Small, thin, squirmy little assholes. I’ve often wondered at the irony of a lifetime of more than most illnesses, and the need to have good veins….why did I get shitty veins? My veins have taught me that it’s part of the struggle. They don’t want to be bothered, to be stuck at and intruded upon and drained of their lifesource anymore than I do. Eventually they will yield but until that moment boy do they fight. Eventually my body, my spirit will yield. Eventually. But until then I will squirm and dodge and hide from that life draining needle and live, me and my veins are bitchy, persistent, little life warriors. ❤️💙❤️
Thank you Andrea. Forever Alive, Forever Forward.
That grips the heart and throat, whilst stoking the fire in the head.
I don't know how. I got so lucky. Last week REN was found and now you. You YOU are amazing heart throb, heartening thank you
I love you. Personally, I think dogs are the best thing on the entire earth. They are here to help us carry our pain. They are here to love. To teach. I need dogs. They are good medicine. I have 2 seniors incoming 🐾💕
Your poem brought back memories of my dad who died from cancer after doing 10 months of treatment.
I love you Andrea . You have opened my heart . Helped me see whom I am - although still I hide Truth and keep it inside . I’m sorry I cried a lot as I heard this beautiful poem of yours . The world needs beautiful people like you. I wish with all my heart you were not sick . Thank you for all the ways you open my heart - and soothe my soul . Sending love your way and healing thoughts your way. And Squash is so devoted to you . That love he has for you is so pure . Doggies are so smart - I think more evolved then us people in so many ways . ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you my friend, for such raw and vulnerable beauty. May we all remember to remember and deepen what it means to cherish our days. loving you
Beautiful poem! Sending so much love and healing to you. 🖤
heartbroken to hear. you're my favorite poet, have been for years. i hope that you heal. thank you for another wonderful poem
Holy holy holy 🙏🏻❤️
This has just made me sob, you have the most beautiful mind. Thank you 🖤
This is like the 6th of your work am listening to in a row tonight, your work touch my core, it's so inspiring and humane ❤️🔥😭❤️.. I pray you find healing, this world needs you badly 🙏💖 sending love, light and life from Nigeria
Thank you. Life is definitely a Verb.
Thank you for your beautiful words. Sending love & good energy your way. You are an incredible human.
Thank you so much, Andrea. Your poems always bring me lots of comfort.
Beautiful poem, thank you for sharing your experience. Sending you love and light 💛
Stunning ❤
Beautifully spoken...
I love you Andrea. Sending you hugs and love and thanking your for sharing your art with us.
You are brave & you are loved ❤️ be strong you got this!
Thank you for this
Absolutely beautiful and powerful as always 🖤🖤
Beautiful 💜
Powerful.
Weeping now. Sending you so much love. 💜 I wish I had something better to offer.
Love is the best we can offer ❤
Powerful poem as ever, Andrea... and perfect piano accompaniment. Love and blessings winging their way to you and Squash...
Thank you for reaching wide. ❤
Your wisdom and love radiate out in waves.. thank you for this beautiful poem. my dog friend caught the waves and came over and sat down to listen. Both of us sending you much love .
Absolutely powerful and beautiful. Sending you so much Love 💕
Beautiful! As always and as forever. Thank you for sharing your magic with us, love you Andrea
You're such a gentle and courageous soul. All my warmth to you. You inspire and pick up more people than you can imagine.
Your soul is love. Take care :)
This is beautiful 🤍 I'd love if it could be on spotify too...
So deep and touching poem, goes straight to the heart. Thank you! I'm sending you love, healing energy, light ❤🍀. Take care.
You Opened my heart wider with each note, each syllable, each phrase of honest courage. Thank you for sharing your Gift. Love and light surround your beating 💓 thank you.
Really amazing. Thanks for this work. I am hoping you are well.
What a poetic appraoch to a painful but beatiful road you are walking with your dog-friends❤
I love you.
Achingly beautiful.
Yup, I have 4 dogs:)All smells all day.
i was teary
I sit listening to this on my porch in the late December chill air, alone in awe of your words
And accidentally pressing send with the crisp chill as the coyote packs here run the frozen swamps, the closing circle of their song tells my solitary heart to listen to the deep silence after your words have finished. Thank you for this- your words echo some of my partner Thom. We lived a life span together- shortened by his choice to refuse the drug cocktail his doctors said would keep his heart stents open. They told him he had 3 months, and he lived 8 years. Chose a life lived full of the things he loved to do, and filled the span with nothing more than gratitude for the day he had. Your words here and elsewhere come very close to capturing what it is like to live open hearted in the face of an uncertain future. Thank you 🙏
@@fledermausfarm9853 you are doing great. I am so happy for you. Thank you for those words. They mean alot and i kniw it wasn't easy. Sending love to you always.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
🖤
Thanks to my dog i knew I had it the 2nd and 3rd time before the doctors confirmed it. And they both were tiny little spots in my lungs.
KayBear Knight says is well. Wow!
Can I credit you and use your words as a TikTok sound, starting at 4:26?
"To love no matter who you are loving is courageous...."
@lavenderxlovely