What I have found even more pathetic is that the people who "hold court" with their endless talking and stories are the ones who are compensating for having accomplished nothing in life.
i've adopted the habit of letting entire relationships/potential relationships drop simply because I stop inquiring or reaching out to them and they simply fall off the face of my earth. not going to put time and energy into people that don't reciprocate. For the younger people though, you do have to INITIATE the socialization process to form relationships with people, you have to get out there and talk to people, but then it's just a matter of seperating the wheat from the chaff & seeing who reciprocates interest. Sage wisdom from the riddle master, as always. Love you Scoob.
as an older wiser man now , i prefer being alone rather than wasting my time with people who get advantage of me, only for the sake of having people in my life. No. wont do it anymore..
I always had similar method to find out if a woman is interested in me or not. Since I was 15, when I met some girl and started to talk to her, I asked her like 3 questions and if she only replied in short answeres and never asked me anything, I moved on. It applied to the internet as well, since when I was a teen Facebook was created and was quickly rising in number of profiles. I wrote someone, asked 3 questions, if they didn't ask me anything, I moved on. If they asked me a question in return, we talked some more, if after their question didn't asked me anything in another 4 or 5 messages, I moved on. Worked every time. 🙂
Can't agree more. I've lost count how many times "ask me" on dating apps, and when I do ask them a question, it's usually five words maximum, with no follow up question at all. I've heard of a similar quote from someone's profile: "To be interesting, be interested".
I have found that there is an exception to this rule. There are some people out there that don't like to talk about themselves much or even talking at all. Eventually they do get comfortable talking about themselves, but it takes a while for them to open up. Again, these are the exceptions. In general, this is solid advice.
Another possibility is that you are more uncomfortable with silence than they are so you fill the void with words. I dont know if this is your situation but I have seen this in action. Some people like to THINK and PROCESS so they can say something articulate and well reasoned. With these people, if you simply stop talking then they will start and you will be amazed at the quality of what they say.
I agree questions are a very important part of interactions, regular or infrequent. I'm struggling with asking questions because I don't know how to do it without it seeming like an ambush in the context of the conversation. I think my problem is that I know some generic questions, but people need tailored questions. Tailored as in one of their interests is currently evident and I MUST talk about that if I'm to do a personal interest related question. Because otherwise I'm displaying a lack of interest in them and they are not obligated to reciprocate. It's probably quickest summed up to anxiety over discovery. Will they accept or tolerate me? I don't wanna find out. So if I stop the questions train then I can disappear into the background of their memory.
I would say the easiest thing to do is to try to have your social interacctions be with a hobby you are passionate about. Then you have a ready made topic
Generally I agree. But sometimes they just lack the skills but are willing to learn if they’re humble enough. My relationship with my brother improved a lot after I told him how he came off.
There are probably some who just dont realize they are doing this and once told, correct their ways but in my experience those who insist on "holding court" are not interested in changing.
In my experience, it is really hard to make friends, especially once out of college. That is why I value my family soo much, while not without their flaws, I was lucky to born into them.
So many people cannot read the "audience" or can and dont care that their bored blank faces are telling them SHUT THE F UP! What I have found even more pathetic is that the people who "hold court" with their endless talking and stories are the ones who have accomplished nothing in life.
Thanks, Scoob. You've been providing me insightful and useful advice for over a decade. I really appreciate it. You posted this at a good time for me as I'm trying to expand my friend group. I meet a lot of self-obsessed people through my career and find I need skills to filter them out. That can be tough because they're genuinely interesting and impressive people. I used to think that was enough for a good friend!
100% agree. I just quit friendship with some of my "best friends" recently. One already been my friend nearly 20 years. He always want to talk about himself in every talks and the other also more about his problem matter not mine.
Great points just recently internalized; I hope young people see this video and consider how powerful this simple test is across many stages of life. And the potential confusion and hurt practicing it will save in 9/10 cases.
I definitely agree with the reciprocity, but I feel like there is another dimension with friends: being able to be quiet around one another without feeling uneasiness or tension. I feel like some people can take this Q ratio and extend it illogically to mean "These 3 hours we have together have to be 100% filled with talking evenly amongst ourselves." It is very annoying when people don't allow room to breathe, eat, exercise, or work on a project to then have the audacity to come out with the "Well, isn't this awkward." No, it wasn't until that was stated and what a way to make a person or a group of people uncomfortable. It could be really comfy just hanging out with someone at a park, on a bench, at a beach just existing, but some people need to fill the air with words (and I don't mean the thoughtful 50/50 reciprocity type of conversations that are beautiful).
Some people don't want to lounge around and do and talk about nothing all day. I depends on what your goals are. Lounging is fine, but you shouldn't lounge too much. Friends should make you a better person IMO. And you don't become better by just sitting in silence or getting drunk.
Great video Scooby. I am actually currently running in this exact same situation because I'm trying to build my social circle. But yes what is a pure waste of time and a misconception is that us introverts want us to be a bystander of an extrovert ... An interaction and a connection is 50/50. Not 95/5. I honestly feel I am wasting my time around most extroverts.
I recently experienced this with a person who has multiple children. Prattled on and on about themselves. Asked me little to no questions. And I hate to say it but it seems that people with kids aren't really interested in becoming invested in your life. They seem to have too much going on already. They either don't need or can't handle caring for one more person. So, people with many kids seem like bad people to become friends with, because it seems like they'll never put you anywhere near the top of their priority list. IDK.
Hey Scooby, appreciate you. Just a question, I wanted to recommend you to my little brothers (they're the age I was when I found you ten years ago); I noticed when I link your channel, it shows the 'gray and fit' description of this channel as a channel for fitness over 50. Is that still your target audience? Just curious.
Yes, but more accurately people with kids under the age of 16 have their hands full raising the child and simply do not have the time or energy to properly nurture friendships
I'm about two weeks late to the party on my comment I guess I think the " q" ratio is a great method to BE someone's friend as well but I still like to pick friends that don't mind giving me a hard time if I start taking life too seriously or I just find enjoyment being around.
Scooby as always, wonderful! Thanks for the video my brother. ( LAUGHED OUT LOUD ''yells out their own name during sex) lolololololol GENIUS!! hugs!! auf wiedersehen
It ain't a hard skill to learn, even for us introverts. It just requires some imagination, observation and genuine interest about the person we are talking to (as a side note, we should start getting more interested about people's lives in general, in a more compassionate and merciful way). Of course having some cultural background from books, movies, series and music really helps building up a sort of structure to the interaction.
But honestly you're old school man third age. And you know how much people has changed. Thats why there is an old saying that you got if you start counting true friends then you still have fingers left and friends out. Meaning not that many. And thats what ive decided to do. Better by myself than with fake people
“True friends “ is there such a thing? Think about who will be standing around your casket when you pass crying. There the only ones that matter in this life
Wish I had known about this 30 years ago.... It would've saved me a lot of heartache and pain. 90% of my relationships, family and friends combined, were extremely one sided.
*_Thanks for watching.. I'm Peter Zane_* yeahyeahIknowIknow.. I've been a subscriber to scooby for 13 years but this funny spinoff still makes me laugh
"... a person who yells out his own name during sex..." haha I love that scooby. It kind of sums it all up in a perfect way lol. Great video with a very good message and advice!! Thanks!
Going one step further: Vanity is one thing, but also....watch out for narcissism, which can be even worse! If the person constantly re-frames topics, twists conversations or tries to dominate them in order to make things about them only: their perspective, their opinions, their experiences...... then that is a good sign to politely say: Auf wiedersehen!
Scooby is out here making me realize I didn't have many real friends at all LOL! And I'd love to hear more interpersonal advice if you have more. This was great. And very eye-opening.
I once heard someone say that a true friend is someone walking in the door when all the others are walking out. Your question assessment is a good tool and so is the other. Best to you Scooby ... on my way to my workout ... 57 years of working out and still going strong. Have a good one!
I realized this a long time ago, people just enjoy talking about themselves, they barely hear what you are saying and don't remember what you said even after 10 minutes. On the phone it's even worse, sometimes I've realized the talking ratio was something around 95:5 or even worse. I'n almost 50 and I can say without any shadow of doubt that I don't have any 'real friend' in my life, only a bunch of people who enjoy spending time with me just to avoid being alone. And sadly in romantic relationships it's been about the same.
It's all about the IQ communication range, 30 points difference in any direction makes communication impossible. So the interview is really an IQ test to find a perfect IQ match within a max +- 5 points of difference
@@scooby1961 once you do some research on it you can never go back, you will start to notice how unfair genetics really are. You will see that the Bell Curve was right all along, tread carefully. Actually it may even be better if you don't go down that rabbit hole, I did and now want to unexist, damned me for even mentioning it to an internet bodybuilder guy living a normal life, damned me..
In your example, recognize that this is how this person treats YOU. People are interested, when they sense someone has similar values, or something that interests them. The average 25 YO woman would not ask many questions to get to know the average homeless male age 50, but she would be THRILLED to get to know 27 YO Leo Dicaprio. People treat you well, when they have a use for you in their life. And they dont care about you, if they don't have a use for you. If I met Scooby in real life, then I would ask lots of questions about what interests him these days, because I have similar values.
Oh if only you made this video earlier so that teen me could see it lol I am ashamed to say I was the bad friend that talked about myself a lot. Thankfully I turned that around and not only ask to be polite but because I am genuinely interested in learning about other people's stories.
Wish I would have used this method throughout school/college. Would have saved me a lot of heartache over losing my "best friends" when really they never even cared to begin with
They way I'd think about it is that I'm not asking good enough questions to spark the conversation, or that the questions I ask don't lead to them asking me one. Is that a flawed way of thinking?
One of your most hilarious videos hands down. And the sassy glasses omg, it's just perfect. Honestly I feel so socially inept compared to you Scooby that I'd really appreciate a whole playlist full of videos like this 😅
It’s a great video, and I agree with your point, but some of us are sigmas and omegas and we simply aren’t interested in getting to know others or having others know about us. We prefer our own company. We may or may not have some close friends in our life but overall we’ll take solitude over strangers any day.
Putting to words something I’ve noticed, but never really connected the dots as to why some interactions felt good/natural, while others felt like walking on a broken glass treadmill.
Hey Scooby 🙂 People talking to listen to themselves are such a kind... However since I met you in Paris in 2019 (I was the man with the bicycle). I would like to say to save myself from embarrassment. Knowing you already, I felt more like I was finally gathering back than meeting for the first time... and since obviously I wanted to say how you changed my life I was certainly going to talk much! 😆 Not to say those people were in the same context! Take care!
I kind of have the same barometer now. If someone ends up constantly changing the topic back to themselves with transitions like "...well I have.." or "..well I went to"... where the topic is just turned on a dime back to the other person's selfish topic, and it's a struggle to get any actual comments in or questions...the other person is just looking for another human to listen to what they have to say. And I try to avoid that person in the future. The Q factor sort of derived from Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends.... where you are really supposed to express interest in the other person's interest and minimize talking about yourself. It's good to get that message across to high schoolers and college kids though rather than waiting to figure it out.
I suck at asking questions, but I tend to ask the reciprocal ones out of awkwardness. "Oh crap, I've been talking about d&d for 10 minutes straight, I should ask them if they have any hobbies too"
Scooby can't even workout anymore. 80 year olds at my gym do powerlifting. Scooby just does push ups and hike. He looks weird. Go eat a burger. I have 80 year old natural bodybuilders at my gym that put Scooby to shame
What I have found even more pathetic is that the people who "hold court" with their endless talking and stories are the ones who are compensating for having accomplished nothing in life.
@@scooby1961 absolutely!
"This is the kind of person who yells out their own name during sex." LOL! That's gotta be up there in all time greatest Scoobyisms.
I love this Scooby. Someone told me once it’s arguably more important to be an interested person as opposed to interesting, and that stuck with me!
Too bad more people do not understand this
i've adopted the habit of letting entire relationships/potential relationships drop simply because I stop inquiring or reaching out to them and they simply fall off the face of my earth. not going to put time and energy into people that don't reciprocate. For the younger people though, you do have to INITIATE the socialization process to form relationships with people, you have to get out there and talk to people, but then it's just a matter of seperating the wheat from the chaff & seeing who reciprocates interest.
Sage wisdom from the riddle master, as always. Love you Scoob.
Thanks! Good advice about culling "friends" who never reach out to you.
as an older wiser man now , i prefer being alone rather than wasting my time with people who get advantage of me, only for the sake of having people in my life. No. wont do it anymore..
Precisely! If they need to spew words to feel better about themselves, they can do it elsewhere because I am too busy to let them waste my time.
It's better to be alone than having people around you who are not good for you. And vice versa.
It's a two way street.
I always had similar method to find out if a woman is interested in me or not. Since I was 15, when I met some girl and started to talk to her, I asked her like 3 questions and if she only replied in short answeres and never asked me anything, I moved on. It applied to the internet as well, since when I was a teen Facebook was created and was quickly rising in number of profiles. I wrote someone, asked 3 questions, if they didn't ask me anything, I moved on. If they asked me a question in return, we talked some more, if after their question didn't asked me anything in another 4 or 5 messages, I moved on. Worked every time. 🙂
Yes, keeps you from wasting all kindsa time !
Can't agree more. I've lost count how many times "ask me" on dating apps, and when I do ask them a question, it's usually five words maximum, with no follow up question at all. I've heard of a similar quote from someone's profile: "To be interesting, be interested".
This is so simple yet explains so damn much about the mistakes I have made in the past. Thanks as always for the brilliant advice Scoob!
You gotta love the sense of practicity engineers usually apply to pretty much every major or minor life issue.
Its what we do.
practicty?
@@jamessheridan4306my bad bro, it isn't my native language.
@@ferreira991I understood :)
@@ferreira991never call anyone bro
I have found that there is an exception to this rule. There are some people out there that don't like to talk about themselves much or even talking at all. Eventually they do get comfortable talking about themselves, but it takes a while for them to open up. Again, these are the exceptions. In general, this is solid advice.
Another possibility is that you are more uncomfortable with silence than they are so you fill the void with words. I dont know if this is your situation but I have seen this in action. Some people like to THINK and PROCESS so they can say something articulate and well reasoned. With these people, if you simply stop talking then they will start and you will be amazed at the quality of what they say.
I agree questions are a very important part of interactions, regular or infrequent.
I'm struggling with asking questions because I don't know how to do it without it seeming like an ambush in the context of the conversation.
I think my problem is that I know some generic questions, but people need tailored questions. Tailored as in one of their interests is currently evident and I MUST talk about that if I'm to do a personal interest related question. Because otherwise I'm displaying a lack of interest in them and they are not obligated to reciprocate.
It's probably quickest summed up to anxiety over discovery. Will they accept or tolerate me? I don't wanna find out. So if I stop the questions train then I can disappear into the background of their memory.
I would say the easiest thing to do is to try to have your social interacctions be with a hobby you are passionate about. Then you have a ready made topic
Great advice Scooby. I like this Q ratio idea. It's very true.
Glad it was helpful!
Generally I agree. But sometimes they just lack the skills but are willing to learn if they’re humble enough.
My relationship with my brother improved a lot after I told him how he came off.
There are probably some who just dont realize they are doing this and once told, correct their ways but in my experience those who insist on "holding court" are not interested in changing.
In my experience, it is really hard to make friends, especially once out of college. That is why I value my family soo much, while not without their flaws, I was lucky to born into them.
True
This is spot on ... I'm amazed how often Q remains zero even if you make it a funny challenge to keep asking
So many people cannot read the "audience" or can and dont care that their bored blank faces are telling them SHUT THE F UP! What I have found even more pathetic is that the people who "hold court" with their endless talking and stories are the ones who have accomplished nothing in life.
Thanks, Scoob. You've been providing me insightful and useful advice for over a decade. I really appreciate it. You posted this at a good time for me as I'm trying to expand my friend group. I meet a lot of self-obsessed people through my career and find I need skills to filter them out. That can be tough because they're genuinely interesting and impressive people. I used to think that was enough for a good friend!
Scooby is like best friend you might never meet.
Well clearly the guy I mention at this event never figured that out :)
100% agree. I just quit friendship with some of my "best friends" recently. One already been my friend nearly 20 years. He always want to talk about himself in every talks and the other also more about his problem matter not mine.
Right. Just because you have known someone for a long time does NOT make them a good friend.
If they people need to vomit words to feel better about themselves, they can do it elsewhere because I am too busy to let them waste my time.
Great point! I also like to spend my time with peoole who eat humble pie while they talk.
I cant stand self advertising.
I enjoy your content. Thankyou🍻
Glad you enjoy it!
Thanks for providing the backstory for the video, very interesting 😊 take care, Scooby!
Funny thing is that the guy I mention who really needs to see this video will never see it.
That kinda person yells out their own name during sex 😂😂😂😂
:)
Great points just recently internalized; I hope young people see this video and consider how powerful this simple test is across many stages of life. And the potential confusion and hurt practicing it will save in 9/10 cases.
Yes, it truly is a universal test
I definitely agree with the reciprocity, but I feel like there is another dimension with friends: being able to be quiet around one another without feeling uneasiness or tension.
I feel like some people can take this Q ratio and extend it illogically to mean "These 3 hours we have together have to be 100% filled with talking evenly amongst ourselves." It is very annoying when people don't allow room to breathe, eat, exercise, or work on a project to then have the audacity to come out with the "Well, isn't this awkward." No, it wasn't until that was stated and what a way to make a person or a group of people uncomfortable. It could be really comfy just hanging out with someone at a park, on a bench, at a beach just existing, but some people need to fill the air with words (and I don't mean the thoughtful 50/50 reciprocity type of conversations that are beautiful).
Some people don't want to lounge around and do and talk about nothing all day. I depends on what your goals are. Lounging is fine, but you shouldn't lounge too much. Friends should make you a better person IMO. And you don't become better by just sitting in silence or getting drunk.
Awesome advice Scooby, will be using the Q ratio in future! Thanks
Politics might not be superficial, not at all, it can be about life and death for both left and right…
Great video Scooby. I am actually currently running in this exact same situation because I'm trying to build my social circle. But yes what is a pure waste of time and a misconception is that us introverts want us to be a bystander of an extrovert ... An interaction and a connection is 50/50. Not 95/5. I honestly feel I am wasting my time around most extroverts.
Right. We are not interested in live entertainment, we are interested in real friends. Lots of better ways to be entertained.
Absolutely. Should be intuitive though. It's so exhausting talking with someone who just keeps talking and has zero interest in what you have to say.
I recently experienced this with a person who has multiple children. Prattled on and on about themselves. Asked me little to no questions.
And I hate to say it but it seems that people with kids aren't really interested in becoming invested in your life. They seem to have too much going on already. They either don't need or can't handle caring for one more person.
So, people with many kids seem like bad people to become friends with, because it seems like they'll never put you anywhere near the top of their priority list. IDK.
LOL! I answered your question before hearing the backstory. I agreed completely with you by the way.
This is actually a really important way to spend 3:35 of your life. Everyone should watch this video! Thanks for posting yet another valuable lesson!
I’d be interested to know how you decided a person was reasonable, interesting and accomplished before you spoke to them?
Hey Scooby, appreciate you. Just a question, I wanted to recommend you to my little brothers (they're the age I was when I found you ten years ago); I noticed when I link your channel, it shows the 'gray and fit' description of this channel as a channel for fitness over 50. Is that still your target audience? Just curious.
Awesome video , thanks ❤
Glad you liked it!
Scooby, do you think people with kids make terrible friends for single people?
Yes, but more accurately people with kids under the age of 16 have their hands full raising the child and simply do not have the time or energy to properly nurture friendships
A true true friend helps a friend in need.
I'm about two weeks late to the party on my comment I guess I think the " q" ratio is a great method to BE someone's friend as well but I still like to pick friends that don't mind giving me a hard time if I start taking life too seriously or I just find enjoyment being around.
I have to watch to the very end of every video to make sure you're going to say auf weidersehn
:)
Mental tally? How about writing it down on a paper in front of them if one has a bad memory? It would be easier and more accurate.
... also eventually the motor mouth will aak what you are doing :)
This is the same way i think lol. Ive never put a number to the ratio of questions asked, but i go by feeling
Scooby as always, wonderful! Thanks for the video my brother. ( LAUGHED OUT LOUD ''yells out their own name during sex) lolololololol GENIUS!!
hugs!!
auf wiedersehen
Thats actually my husband's line :)
As an introvert, you make me even more anxious if i dont ask questions back!
It ain't a hard skill to learn, even for us introverts. It just requires some imagination, observation and genuine interest about the person we are talking to (as a side note, we should start getting more interested about people's lives in general, in a more compassionate and merciful way).
Of course having some cultural background from books, movies, series and music really helps building up a sort of structure to the interaction.
Dude i won a tanktop from you once of your past weightloss competition
These videos are his best.
Great advice
True friends wont shove cake in your face saying live a little when youre getting ready for a competition
This seems oddly specific.
LOL!!!!!
I could have used this advice 10 years ago. 😅
Safest is to not have friends.
But honestly you're old school man third age. And you know how much people has changed. Thats why there is an old saying that you got if you start counting true friends then you still have fingers left and friends out. Meaning not that many. And thats what ive decided to do. Better by myself than with fake people
well said
“True friends “ is there such a thing? Think about who will be standing around your casket when you pass crying. There the only ones that matter in this life
Thats one way to look at it
But what if you are really booring?
💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
But wjat if you are realy boring?
LOL! I am! I am SO boring! :)
If you dont have a Rolex, then I cant be your friend.
| How much is your wach?
---> Oh its just a $70 G-Shock.
|
Um yeah we cant hang out...
here if you ask to much personal quastions you get your face smashed
You travel in the wrong circles then
Depends also on the question?
What was the question that gets the face smashed.
Doesn't sound intellectual.
first
Wish I had known about this 30 years ago.... It would've saved me a lot of heartache and pain. 90% of my relationships, family and friends combined, were extremely one sided.
*_Thanks for watching.. I'm Peter Zane_*
yeahyeahIknowIknow.. I've been a subscriber to scooby for 13 years but this funny spinoff still makes me laugh
:)
It would be funny if this happened to be scoobys real name but he needs to pretend it's just a joke
"... a person who yells out his own name during sex..." haha I love that scooby. It kind of sums it all up in a perfect way lol. Great video with a very good message and advice!! Thanks!
Going one step further: Vanity is one thing, but also....watch out for narcissism, which can be even worse! If the person constantly re-frames topics, twists conversations or tries to dominate them in order to make things about them only: their perspective, their opinions, their experiences...... then that is a good sign to politely say: Auf wiedersehen!
Precisely. If the questions they ask are simply ways to lead into a story about themselves, thats not a real question.
Scooby is out here making me realize I didn't have many real friends at all LOL! And I'd love to hear more interpersonal advice if you have more. This was great. And very eye-opening.
More to come!
Good advice . I guess sometimes if its the first time it can also be shyness, but in your example I don't think so. Should work for dates as well
Right. Shyness is cute. This guy was just an arrogant prik
BRO l dont like when sameone ask me quastions when they ask, I wonder why they are asking and what information they want to get from me for what use
Dont raise your deflector shields needlessly.
I once heard someone say that a true friend is someone walking in the door when all the others are walking out. Your question assessment is a good tool and so is the other. Best to you Scooby ... on my way to my workout ... 57 years of working out and still going strong. Have a good one!
Thanks!
I realized this a long time ago, people just enjoy talking about themselves, they barely hear what you are saying and don't remember what you said even after 10 minutes.
On the phone it's even worse, sometimes I've realized the talking ratio was something around 95:5 or even worse.
I'n almost 50 and I can say without any shadow of doubt that I don't have any 'real friend' in my life, only a bunch of people who enjoy spending time with me just to avoid being alone.
And sadly in romantic relationships it's been about the same.
I'll have nothing to do with anyone who uses term 'fabulous'.
Lol! I would add many other things to the DQ list :)
It's all about the IQ communication range, 30 points difference in any direction makes communication impossible. So the interview is really an IQ test to find a perfect IQ match within a max +- 5 points of difference
Interesting take on this, I need to think about it.
@@scooby1961 once you do some research on it you can never go back, you will start to notice how unfair genetics really are. You will see that the Bell Curve was right all along, tread carefully. Actually it may even be better if you don't go down that rabbit hole, I did and now want to unexist, damned me for even mentioning it to an internet bodybuilder guy living a normal life, damned me..
There must be more to it than that. Some high IQ people are quite introverted and asocial.
I could do with one of those friends with benefits. The benefit being able to drive late at night, because my eyesight is not so good now.
totaly correct...thats why i have just 1 friend n im just 38 yo
Quality over quantity
Scooby, this is depressingly accurate. I hate it, and thank you.
LOL! Thanks
Never stop making videos, Scooby! Your advice on all kinds of topics is appreciated all around the world. Greetings from Germany!🙂
In your example, recognize that this is how this person treats YOU. People are interested, when they sense someone has similar values, or something that interests them. The average 25 YO woman would not ask many questions to get to know the average homeless male age 50, but she would be THRILLED to get to know 27 YO Leo Dicaprio. People treat you well, when they have a use for you in their life. And they dont care about you, if they don't have a use for you. If I met Scooby in real life, then I would ask lots of questions about what interests him these days, because I have similar values.
What is the question?
THAT is the question :)
Oh if only you made this video earlier so that teen me could see it lol I am ashamed to say I was the bad friend that talked about myself a lot. Thankfully I turned that around and not only ask to be polite but because I am genuinely interested in learning about other people's stories.
Thank you for learning! :)
love it
Thanks!
Hilarious and so true Scoob!
It kinda is
Pretty useful and accurate
Glad you think so!
Wish I would have used this method throughout school/college. Would have saved me a lot of heartache over losing my "best friends" when really they never even cared to begin with
Great advice!!! Thanks again, Scooby!!
I never chose friends based on status, i think this was a mistake though.
:)
Harder to make friends as you get older.
Card counting for humans!
Happens all the time during networking, very frustrating but I guess i'll never do business with them!
I always try to be a good Friend, but i always think im a horrible Person.
This applies even more for first dates
They way I'd think about it is that I'm not asking good enough questions to spark the conversation, or that the questions I ask don't lead to them asking me one. Is that a flawed way of thinking?
I only have one best friend of 24yrs and he just told me he is moving away.😢
One of your most hilarious videos hands down. And the sassy glasses omg, it's just perfect.
Honestly I feel so socially inept compared to you Scooby that I'd really appreciate a whole playlist full of videos like this 😅
Thats a bit like the deaf leading the blind :)
I have a question for you. Hey, who cut your hair?
Me for the last 30 years. Amount saved: $40 * 52 wks * 30 yrs = $62,000
Maybe he wasn't interested in talking to you Scoobs..just kidding, good advice
I know, I am SO boring. Never done anything interesting in my life :)
Couldn't agree with you more Scooby. All words of wisdom and thanks for sharing.
Thanks for watching
It’s a great video, and I agree with your point, but some of us are sigmas and omegas and we simply aren’t interested in getting to know others or having others know about us. We prefer our own company. We may or may not have some close friends in our life but overall we’ll take solitude over strangers any day.
You have to be prepared to live with the consequences of your lifestyle
Putting to words something I’ve noticed, but never really connected the dots as to why some interactions felt good/natural, while others felt like walking on a broken glass treadmill.
Exactly!
Hey Scooby 🙂
People talking to listen to themselves are such a kind...
However since I met you in Paris in 2019 (I was the man with the bicycle). I would like to say to save myself from embarrassment. Knowing you already, I felt more like I was finally gathering back than meeting for the first time... and since obviously I wanted to say how you changed my life I was certainly going to talk much! 😆
Not to say those people were in the same context!
Take care!
Hi! Yes, of course I remember you!!!!! Hope you are still riding!
@@scooby1961 Haha yes! Part of my identity! Hope the same for you!
True ! But we can all be better friends
Totally separate topic but true
Once again Scooby proving he would have been one of two awesome dads if he decided to adopt
I kind of have the same barometer now. If someone ends up constantly changing the topic back to themselves with transitions like "...well I have.." or "..well I went to"... where the topic is just turned on a dime back to the other person's selfish topic, and it's a struggle to get any actual comments in or questions...the other person is just looking for another human to listen to what they have to say. And I try to avoid that person in the future.
The Q factor sort of derived from Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends.... where you are really supposed to express interest in the other person's interest and minimize talking about yourself. It's good to get that message across to high schoolers and college kids though rather than waiting to figure it out.
Gallons of milk ratio🐄🐄🐄
More you drink a day more gains you get)
What about people who flood you with questions?
Again, its gotta be 50/50
Then you answer their questions with more questions.
I suck at asking questions, but I tend to ask the reciprocal ones out of awkwardness. "Oh crap, I've been talking about d&d for 10 minutes straight, I should ask them if they have any hobbies too"
Jackie’s Kennedi glasses aka dragonfly doesn’t suits men if they are Men of course.
reported for homophobia
Apparently, Scooby is high maintenance and needy, like a lady.
Oh, I understand completely now! If I dont want to listen to you prattle endlessly on about yourself then I am a woman. Reported for homophobia.
@@scooby1961 LOL gottem
Seriously? JFC, dude. God bless!
@@scooby1961 They just like antagonizing you to get your feedback. It's, in the true sense, trolling, not actual criticism.
Scooby can't even workout anymore. 80 year olds at my gym do powerlifting. Scooby just does push ups and hike. He looks weird. Go eat a burger. I have 80 year old natural bodybuilders at my gym that put Scooby to shame