Into the 3rd year with my covert narcissist, I started treating him the way he was treating me. He had no idea what was happening. I threw him out 3 years ago after a domestic. He gave me a fat lip. Cops came, took him away. I pressed charges. He got a little bit of karma, not anywhere near what he deserved. It's coming, tho. Complete asshole !!😂😂
I work with 2 of them, and they are professional manipulators. I had both of them flip out on me different times, and I'm just staring at them like they are crazy. I have to walk away, and while they continue to yell. They never apologize and make them selves victims . It hurts when they believe them 😢
The only way to keep yourself safe from a narcissist is cut all ties with them instantly & never know them or even recognise them ever again!!. Insignificant to you & play no part in your life. Coz even arguing with them, feeds them, just never ever recognise that person ever again no matter how many times they may walk past you. They can never hurt you again if you don't know them anymore. Close the door on their existence, it's your door & you control it!!. Now breathe & go live your life never having known these beasts!!.
@@DaniilBalkans-jh2rw absolutely...they are like vampires..the only differents is they suck all the energie out of you,..they need your energie to live
Make up a false weakness! Make them think they are "winning" and yes, never tell them what you fear they make sure it happens! So fear something you like!
I have one now, and she so casually asks me questions, disecting even the simpliest things in order to get more info and try to make me feel bad or wrong about anything. I hate that I'll still fall for this at times because she catches me off guard.
They only know what you give them & they run with it rather it's true or not 🙃 that's the thing so really who cares. A gullible bird will eat whatever wirm you bait them with
Best revenge to take on the narcissist is to 1. Be authentic 2. Be happy without narcissistic person 3. See through their schemes and manipulation 4. Ignore them and their silly games, allways 5. Show them no pity, stay calm and ignore them whatever they do 6. Never allow your compassion to take over your common sense. They are problem for others in everything they do, they were once, and they will be again. And again. And again.
ShadowKing, after reading the post I think it's closer to 'justice' that is meant, than any sort of super-intensive personal vendetta. I do think the victim can seek justice through the Court System, and even from God for that matter.
I totally agree to not stoop to their level. My sons dad insults me, degrades me,etc. practically every time we have to communicate about our son or the parenting schedule. I solely communicate with him for coparenting purposes and try my best to keep the peace. But it doesn’t stop him from finding something to be mad about. He doesn’t miss a opportunity to insult me, degrade me or accuse me of being a bad mother (although he’s been in and out of our sons life due to addiction and being in and out of jail). I only respond to the things I have to (to do with coparenting) and I ignore the rest. But I have to read through all of the mess just to decipher what I have to respond to. It gets so exhausting and frustrating being the “bigger person” all the time. But I refuse to give him the supply he’s looking for. But I also know if I was to respond the way I would have to to stoop to his level. It would make me feel bad about myself. To allow him to get me to that point. So I literally have to treat him like he’s a small child having a temper tantrum. I look at him as someone with emotional maturity of a 4 yr old. I believe it’s true too. Which helps me too for some reason to not respond in the ways I want to sometimes.. but it is still tough at times because I’m tired of being his punching bag (in a sense).
Proving they're lying, proving their wrong, leaving them out of the conversation, criticizing their arrogance and pride, proving their NOT better than everybody else. Laughing at their hypocrisy...etc. These are the things that cause their anger. Thanks for letting me unload.
Ill definitely try this i have narcissists at work and in my family and its very draining and i have suicidal tendencies because of dealing with these sick "people"
@@aliaskong1723 I tried it today at work and they made other coworkers and bosses (they even made my "friends" convert to be a narcs and now they try to gaslight me and tell and laugh to the other coworkers and bosses and i have only complained about it a few times to a few coworkers and they instantly told everyone that i dont like it and then the bosses said "who cares" and now everyone just gossips about me infront of my face and eveyone disrespects me and this is killing me i cannot heal from this for a long while or im still surviving with these abuses at work and at home and i hope you will survive yours aswell😇 I think i might got ulcers aswell from starving myself and not drinking because of this
Oh mine got so high after a 24 hours crack binge he was crawling on all fours hiding from his Mom at 3am while Mom was asleep in her own bed in her own house far away. Paranoia is now my new tool she he acts up. He's a roomie but awful to deal with but now I have a clue. That was the day I realized how pitiful and weak he is.
Add in the narcissistic family/ friends and boom! Hubs family is 5-6 generations of highly narcissistic people. His daughter has been fighting cancer for most of her 31 years and he barely spent time with her. When she got sick from the chemo and radiation, he screamed at her for needing adult diapers and ruining his life by making herself sick on purpose. When karma catches up to him, he won't have anyone. Even his grandkids don't interact with him.
I'm finally finished my vengeance, I'd agree that it doesn't feel good and its stupid to alot of people! But after years of abuse from the woman, I do feel relieved to finally get the monkey of my back with the emotional abuse I was getting from a troglodyte
revenge can be sweet in certain circumstances, bit its one of those things that should be more of a last resort though. and not anything that is illegal of course.
When a narcissist comes around I play one of these videos about them, lay the phone down, watch them squirm and act busy doing nothing, it's like kryptonite.
I started talking to my "bestie" narcissist about aquaintance narcissist and their traits, not to hurt her but to vent, but as the words came out, we both knew these traits and the term narcissist was her too.
I get going tit for tat is a mistake… but for a deliberate hurtful attack on life or career you dont get a pass because “Im better than that”, you get what you deserve and they get a quick awakening that you arent asleep at the wheel… have to agree… ignoring most realistic best option for someone you cant go no contact with.. but an unexpected payback here and there will remind them you are not a punching bag… and how quickly they realize their mental judo is amateurish.. keep it quick but direct dont get dragged into what they want… too much emotional response. I don’t believe ignore and free pass is way to always go.
I didn't even have to play these videos out loud for mine to get extremely defensive. All he had to do was see the video recommendations on my youtube feed. He just got angry and was like, "Oh you think you're smarter than me or that you know everything because you watch some UA-cam videos?" I was like dude, what if I'm watching them for myself?
Leave them for good and live your best life is the best revenge. Work on yourself to improve your career and mental health, go to gym, hangout with friends n family, book the vacation. Life is too short to think about the person that discarded you so easily.
Narcissists are the closest thing to a devil on earth. They expect so much in return for almost nothing. You need to mirror their energy. Give nothing, show no emotion.
As much as hurt people would try to agree with you. There are people far worse. Women, not all, call most men narcissist when that's exactly who they are
Revenge is for the emotionally weak. Just tell them respectfully that you don't enjoy being friends with them anymore. If they respond with anger, then you know you're doing what's right.
@@ben393 Ditto, did the same! I'm the second eldest of 4 daughters, "3 believe the Narcissistic sister" It hurt at first, but I don't feel anything for them except pity now! They are her flying monkeys and she has manipulated and used them for her selfish purposes as I watched. I knew better than to interfere. I wanted to but, knew what the end result would be. Also, some of her shadiness I realized after the fact!
Depending on the narc you’re dealing with, they may become angry & violent if you tell them you don’t like them. I’ve inadvertently found that I’m really good at REPELLING narcs, and aside from the ones I was karmically-assigned to as family, narcs won’t try to keep me around (anymore). The two “strategies” that seem foolproof and SAFE are: 1) Inquisitiveness 2) Aloofness I don’t know a single narc who’s willing to answer questions or elaborate on a response to help someone understand something-that would constitute an act of SERVICE, and narcs serve NO ONE (they might pretend to, in order to obtain something they want), esp. if they think that person is below them. I’m naturally both of the things mentioned above, so I can’t turn it off. 😂 If you really need for the narc to leave YOU first, I encourage you to inhabit the persona of someone who’s curious & clueless-it’s always worked like a charm to make narcs want to avoid me. They’ll come back if you’re a helpful empath, so don’t offer them anything, either. Your kindness & helpfulness come at an exorbitant cost to your well-being, so if you must, make sure you’re being compensated in some way. By requesting reciprocation, they might retract their request (or more likely, demand).
Yep. If you must respond make it short and to the point . Yes , no, (or smiling no if you wanna make them super mad lol), ugh huh , ok , another that irritates mine is when I refuse to be drug into their reality and I will say that may be your reality but the one I’m in happened very differently.
Everyone, please don’t forget that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a “sickness” and people that have this diagnosis or even the traits can become VERY dangerous if challenged or pushed into losing control! We should not purposely try to get any kind of “revenge” or make jokes about them that could ultimately send them into a violent rage. Once you get out of that relationship, LEAVE THEM ALONE! Don’t follow up any of their actions or words. The only thing you should focus on is keeping yourself and your family safe from harm!
Good advice. I just got away from an NPD brother and have been considering sending him a letter enumerating all the ways he lied to me and himself. The truth would send him into a rage, and while part of me would enjoy that, I'm thinking it would accomplish nothing other than setting him toward some kind of revenge.
@@mileshall9235do what I did aith my ex wife and write the letter but never send it, keep it somewhere you can read it anytime your in doubt or flying monkeys are harassing. It’s your truth. Why do we need confirmation and their acceptance? If you hand them the letter they have the blue prints to undo your validation of their torturing within your own self doubt. You don’t need anyone else to make this real or not. But want you certainly don’t need is a narcissist thinking your going to expose all the things you just said to them to the outside world. They don’t spend time working on themselves. They dedicate it to working on the threats of their image. So you giving them the checklist will have them sharpening up the acts in those areas and also slipping in passing comments that will completely undermine your credibility in those areas. You’ll talk to people already prepped and the doubt in their faces will have you do what the narc needed you too. Prove them right, you are fucken crazy and unpredictable. As you start force feeding your truths down their throats. The land mines are set for you to finish yourself off. The narcissist knows you seek external validation as a need to feel accepted. It’s the reason you want to send the letter to someone you have been forced to run from that you know doesn’t care about changing and that knows its wrong. Why else are they different out in the public? You have to change behavior you then confirm you know anyone seeing that from the outside would be disgusted and they would be judged as c”&ts. I don’t have a “home” character and a completely opposite “public “ character as soon as the front door opens. We don’t have a need to hide. The self doubt inside you is all that you fight. It steals your truths and resets all your painful lessons. You have to bring closure to this with no one else’s help. Dig deeper into your own traumas. If you had a narcissistic brother you definitely had a narcissistic parent. I swear my life on it. Your wounds he squeezes werent out there by him. He’s just piggybacking on them. He’s not the first narcissist that hurt you. Find them and learn who you aren’t and you’ll be able to become who you are. 👍
Anyone with NPD, should be banned from leadership roles, teaching or mentoring, politics, military, police, commercial passenger driving/flying, and firearms.
This is a cop out. God is Santa Claus for gullible adults. YOU are in control of your life. It's YOUR choices that influence how it goes. YOU choose to move past hurt and abuse. If you are going to attribute it to some god, then you must also attribute the bad, and now you are worshiping a sadist. No thanks, I'll guide my own path through life and not rely on superstitions to make my decisions. This is part of growing up and being a functioning, responsible adult.
Truer words ever said! Ignorance is bliss. I let my narcissistic stepmom talk like a vengeful, crazy person in public. All of that by saying things on how to torture us. The strangers can judge for themselves.
I never realized that my ex-girlfriend was actually a narracist she wanted me gone once I was of no use anymore. I admit I could've done some things differently and tired harder, but she chose to tear me down and dressed it up as constructive criticism, and in the end, she discarded me so easily. I'm glad I healed, and now I'm in a healthy relationship with another narracist survivor that I'm helping with her recovery.
I exposed my narc ex as well. I'm really not a vindictive person, but sometimes, people need to be checked and put in their place and I don't think exposing them (especially since you're the one telling the truth about who they really are) is necessarily a bad thing. I kept all receipts from my narc ex and told them I had the entire text thread from our relationship and could damage them severely with what I had on them, so if they wanted to play with me, bring it on. Some pretty embarrassing material could end up getting "leaked." No contact and no problems since then. If they don't start none, there will be none.
@@katelynnaeristevens1394 the world is full of garbage people but sometimes you can go through a bag of garbage and you might find something useful or recyclable, but not the scum at the bottom. I'm sorry they've been traumatized but their own pathology prevents them from seeing they are the problem and need to find help. Many criminals and mental patients have been reformed (to a point, mind you), narcs and psychopaths don't have that awareness. Their false ego is perfect and that's their whole world view.
The only revenge you need to get is when you leave and never look back And cut them out of your life 100%. Don’t ever talk to them and don’t ever see them. That’s your revenge.
I thought I had cut my evil narcissist brother out of my life 36 years ago after he was vicious and vindictive at a particularly tragic crisis in my life but he still keeps popping up. I refused to have anything to do with him. He would phone me regularly to the point where I would not answer the phone unless I knew who it was. He still continued to send me Xmas cards, I ignored them. Then he would 'just happen to be passing' and bang on my front door. We live 60 miles away from each other. I tried to be pleasant but as usual within 5 minutes he would be nasty, sneering, putting me down, critcising everything and everyone conected with me. Our contact got less and less but there was forever that threat that some day he would pop into my life again. I moved house and didn't tell him, changed my phone number and my email address. Within 6 months he had tracked me down and the cards started up again. Implying yet again that he knew where I lived and at any time he could enter my life whenever he wished. Which 5 years later he did. Banged on my front door one Sunday morning. I had had enough. I really let fly at him and told him exactly what I thought of him I was so angry, how dare he invade my life yet again. As usual I was the one who was mentally unstable, that was a favourite put down of his whenever his relationships failed, I was bitter and twisted, I was sad and deranged and needed professional help. He then wrote me a letter saying he could not understand why I was so unnecessarily angry and they he expected to be welcomed the next time he 'was passing by'. I wrote a very long letter back detailing what he had said and done over 80 years with regard to me, my mother, my husband and how utterly nasty and insufferable he had been and that he would never change. Threatening legal action if he ever contacted me again ( he is a very rich and successful solicitor). I have heard nothing since. Maybe now the worm has turned I have finally got him out of my life.
This is very true.. but ibdi have a toddler with him. And he does not have a safe place to take her and his patience isnt at a level for a toddler. So I do have to have in my home in order too see her. As I'd never get in the way of their relationship unless he became toxic. Dont get me wrong he is no dad if the year.. its more to look good for people around him as he doesnt see his other 2 children now I've been discarded. As I see his 2 children as my own, they still come and sleep at my house. He has the option to come too. I feel so much lighter, happier and at peace and powerful. It's been 13 years if this. And I've never felt like this before this sense of realisation now I know about narcissistis and that is him. Being able to learn and understand that I wasnt crazy and it was all tactics. Has made it alot easier thus time to start my healing process. But I do struggle that because we do have a childs he does still think he has the rights to me.. even when I grey rock, be distant.. but also I take my girls feeling into consideration I want her too see us get along so I think that's very I'm important especially with her being so young.. when she is older she will see it for her self like his other children have. But I'd never be the one to get in the way. I get along with the mums. We actually have a very good situation one I'm very proud of. But he dies "treat" me "better" as I know I'm his grade A supply. Not in bug headed way. But it's like a unconditional love from my end like how woukd be with my children. He dies think he owns me and because I do have to be around him and act ok infront if my girl it gives him his supply from me. And I dont want him to feel bad. But I also dont like being his supply. As right now in his head he has it good. Moved out and left us because im becoming homeless so we wasnt giving him what he needed from me a place to live. He knows he can not ask me for money when he doesnt help with any if his children. He has sorted him self out got a place and left us. I'm happy about that. God has done this to show me the truth. And I do have wobble days as its only been since this January but i do wake up and thank god everyday for my strength and for giving me the answer to my question I had for 13 years does he love me or am I just a bed and fanny as my mum put it 😂 (she said it to make me laugh not malicious) and that saying actually helped me as it was true. I know not to be jealous of anything that's comes his way.. after educating my self with these videos I've realised this isnt me as much as he says it's all my fault but it's his way to cope with life. Not just mental abuse bit physical as well. We had a court case in 2015 as much as i didnt want too but i was scared this man is going to un alive me if i dont do something. That mind of abuse didnt stop but stopped enough that stupidly as it sounds enough to deal with (hiar pulling strangulation, pushing over, very extreme sexual stuff) which now I know was abuse. I just struggle with still being his supply as ibdo have to be around him. I know there are contact centres but he wouldn't show up and my girl adores him. He doednt do anything other sit in the sofa or try it on with me (until I put a boundary in place) he doesnt always show up on his day now or he will ask to show up more I think when he needs to he around me it makes him feel safe. I know hes more around because of me than our child.. or too my nine biological children (which I do not see them as that at all! But for the purpose of this message to not confuse) I'd really love to be able to speak to someone who is experiencing that same situation as me? I'm healing, we are much happier, my toddler is acting out but I totally understand why she has had her dad around every day to sometimes not all. I think she is worried if dad can mum might. I'd never she is my absolute world and her feelings come before my situation with her dad. He does not and if I try and out another boundary in place or try and make him take accountability for him discarding us at a time when we needed him. He will not show up out of shame, which I've realised its shame. He is smearing my name how he has "lost" his family, lost his job, homeless (he homed him self asap) its us who will be in a bedsit and potentially put out of our county and if not homed by the council as I can not afford private alone my landlord has to take me to court to get me out, otherwise the council wont help me as "I've made my self homeless" ridiculous I know but it's real. I feel like my life is a Jeremy kyle show atm. Yet he is saying how he will un alive hims self to doctors and the job centre in order to not have to work, my guess is so he doednt have to contribute towards his children and also make my life harder as I can not afford to be in this house alone. Another way to be able to control me and hope I suffer which I am but when you have been abused for a long period of time you can put on a convincing smile which I do around him. Sometimes it irritates him and sometimes he likes it. I struggle with all the sexual things he made me do. And when I found out I am going to be homeless and was so depleted and feeling scared of being in a hostel and out of my area miles away (worst case) he got highly aroused by my sadness and brokenness. And that made me question all the thing he done to me in the past and how he would try/make me feel while sometimes doing the dead. Not always but on our nights of when he needed that kind of full attention and I coukdnt say no. And he got off on that so woukd push and push too see/try and make me uncomfortable of the type of things he would ask for.. He cheated, lied, beat me, emotional abuse, isolated me.. even now I am isolated. Even now I woukdnt even dare speak to another guy (not that I want too) and worry for the day I do. Yet he is out doing the most yet making out like this whole situation is my doing. I'm being made homeless. I can not help that and he chose to sort him self out and not come back for us nor to help. Which now I know about narcissistis its actually quite normal. I dont have anyone to talk too. I have started therapy my first session is the 8th of April. Which is also my eviction date. But as I said I am not allowed to leave until I am homed or my landlord take me to court and I'll get a court fine. It's really harsh situation by its self let alone trying to heal from a narcissist. My landlord is some what understanding. As he wants to sell his property die to living crisis and not being able to afford this house.. which is fare enough. If it was upto us I'd hand over they keys and wish him good luck.. bit the council will not allow that. They are trying to make it bitter towards us. Yet weve had a good landlord tenant relationship. I can not wait to be out of this house, and a new chapter, new home, fresh start and not have my narc feel like he still owns this house. As my next one with just be mine and our children's. I'm sure then that's when the hoover will happen so I am just trying to make my self string enough to not be fooled by it as I have been discarded stupidly amount of times to the point it scares me how I allowed it. I take my blame in allowing this too happen. But my eyes opened when I saw youngest pick up on walking on egg shells. And him ignoring her when she would be saying good morning after he had got up. True heart brake is watching your child's heart brake and i know it will. And i feel bad but i will not be the reason why and doing it at this time I'm hoping she will not remember it as much whe she is older as once I'm homed and the hoover does not work that's when he will be gone for good. But he will be unhappy trying to find me in everyone he meets. I hated who inwas how loving, loyal (never even spoke or went on a date, messages nothing on my discards. One out of fear and 2 because that is not my morals, when I love I love. But when I'm done I'm done!) So I have faith. Sorry for this s.a just it's easy for people to say just get over it.. but I'm someone who cant not straight away. For me it was real. No matter how un real it was now I've learnt the word narcissist.
you are absolutely right! he loves hurting me he loves revenge and argued. but I was blind before I let him insult my personality and live in the dark just because I loved him so much. now I'm glad I'm strong enough to let him go. emotional damage, it comes to the point that I can't take it anymore. I felt too much pain till now, but I have peace of mind, and my eyes are wide open. It makes me sad, but I had to let go.
I know exactly how you feel because I can see the little girl that was traumatized by her father and it saddens me to think that I abandoned her but I didn't abandon her she forced me to leave. It took me awhile, but I add an epiphany.. God's plan is perfect and everyone's doing the best they can.. Because... Psychologically emotionally healthy people don't wake up one day and say "I want to be a serial killer" it doesn't happen like that. The reason why they behave the way they do is because they honestly cannot see that it is wrong. They are literally doing the best they can.
I see all these things as the true revenge on a narcissist. Crushing their ego, never letting them have control, not letting them shame you, all these things are revenge upon the narcissist especially living your best life without them.
@@Pingvin666 Yes, never play their game, just let them know you don't like games and let not what they do get to you. Make yourself the end of the line for their games.
My family is also tired of the narcissist in my life spreading rumors about me and my family. This week was it. We did not reply to them by commenting on that post or posting comments on our own pages. My immediate family and I have unfriended her and blocked all contact. Her only way to contact me is in person at my house and it’s not very pretty. I told her she can only visit when my husband and our family is home. If she comes over otherwise, she will be ignored and if she refuses to leave, the police will be called. She’s started a nasty smear campaign against me for what reason who knows. She is definitely grandiose. I am so thankful for my immediate family unfriend ing and blocking numbers. I know not everyone is that lucky . Prayers for all ❤
I once had a last comfrontation in which I decided to open my needs to the narcissist, believing he'd empathize. He didn't. He was surprised I had emotions and could express my needs, got angry I was not serving his needs and told me I "lack empathy" because I'm not satisfying him. And also smeared me behind my back, threatened to fire me,and is giving me the silent treatment, he thinks he's got me. But i lost all willingness to engage with him on any level forever. Despicable demon.
It’s hard but you got this. Me too. Second time I’ve been apart from him after I let him Hoover me. During the time we were back together I took the opportunity to get a lot of evidence of his infidelity and also some shady business dealings so he now knows I’m not being the bigger person this time and will expose him to who I need to. Also got a domestic violence order against him and called his bluff when he taunted me that I wouldn’t call the police when he turned up at my place and started being intimidating. I asked the police to just give him a formal warning so as not to make him too angry but he couldn’t control his anger about it at the police station and they made the decision to charge him for the breach of the order. He is now of course blaming me for him being charged. The policeman said to me “ if he can’t keep his cool in front of a police officer then I can only imagine how he is with you at home” It felt so good to be believed after having him convince everyone that I had the problem and not him. I recorded the last intimidation and gave the video to the police which was also why they believed me. I’m taking it one day at a time right now and just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and things will get better for us all. Stay strong. X❤
That remind me kids at school. They can be really cruel if no adult stop them, it could ends with traumas or more suicide! The narc are build the same with no empathy. They're just going to push you and make you suffer for they own pleasure. Now I get it why they call it "disorder"! They are functionning but not properly 🤯 I'm a 6'3 and 229,2 pounds athletic black man. Trust me I'm scared of what the adult society gives credit for to a woman not knowing they are narcissist ones! I really need to protect myself by disappearing !
Thank you Christina!❤ I’m so grateful for people like you making these videos about narcissism! Today I’m celebrating my 1 year freedom from the narcissist!!!! 🎉🥳. He caused me so much pain!! Love boomed me for 2 years, convinced me to leave my family (boyfriend and 2 children) for him and made me go through 2 abortions (because he didn’t wan’t the baby). But Thank God I didn’t have a baby with him knowing what a scum he is now! When he finally had sucked every gram of energy out of me and I told him goodbye he asked another girl out 2 minuttes after. I know because I had made up a false profile of a young girl. He still managed to hoover me back once more despite this (I was really trauma bonded). But now it’s a year ago I went no contact and I’m feeling endlessly much better today! Thank you for your support and education through your videos !🤗
What hurts so bad is the confusion. These people have a whole game plan and to a normal person you're left thinking "what the heck is going on?". A million scenarios go through your head and it's really very simple. These people are dirtbags and don't care anything about you. Trust me, married 28 years to one and I've seen it all. I was super young when we met and she was older. So I had 0 idea what was going on for decades. Thankfully channels like these cleared things up and I'm getting out soon. The stories I could tell!
For some time, I was unsure if she really was a narcissist but the more and the longer I engaged with her, the worse my life became and the more my self-confidence has been destroyed because she was doing everything a typical narc does. I finally decided to go the no contact route and walked away. I still need to heal but it feels so good knowing Im finally on the right track and they can no longer pull of the same old shit.
I was already saw what she was in the begginning, i am the same but true, im building my life as good as I can when im with them, im destroying them with my energy, this is a trill for me
I did exactly these things, I'm proud of myself! Sadly they want to get revenge all the time, it's just exhausting to always be ready to deal with that.
This Experience I Went Through I Wish It On No One. I Saw The Real Meaning Of Narcissist. From Shaming, Humiliations,Setting Me Up, Trying To Kill Me, To All The Above. But I Pray It's All Over Now. I Pray She Finds God Like I Have.
Are narcs ever NOT hurt?!? Isn’t that why they overcompensate the way that they do? People who don’t feel hurt will never default to trying to run someone’s day or LIFE-they’d be too busy living their own best life. The only times I ever see narcs enjoying themselves is during moments of hedonism or schadenfreude. The “happiness” is always fleeting & ephemeral.
Exposing a narcissist to all the ex common friends long after you speak ( 5 years or so). Drive them absolutely insane. I did it, I enjoyed the show with popcorn.
I ended up going the no-contact/indifference route with my ex-girlfriend. Hindsight being 20/20 I noticed that she would attempt to draw me into an argument whenever she saw something she didn't like. This, to me, now seems like a method of control. Ultimately it was almost pitiful to watch her repeatedly try and fail to bait me into an argument, and fail when she tried to change tactics.
Sounds like it could also be that you have bad behaviors that impact people around you and she was trying to express that. Good thing she's the narcissist though.
Sometimes I wonder who the original narcissist is in the relationship. My partner was overtly controlling but also extremely love bombed me, I ignored all the red flags until he got me to move in and cook and clean and basically mother him then he started being indifferent to my needs until I started acting like the narcissist.
This is describing my mother. I don't want revenge, I want peace. Having had depression since childhood and periods of suicidal ideation since my teens, I made the mistake of approaching her with what was hurting me. I told her about it and she said I should stop feeling sorry for myself. When I told her I didn't want to live any more, she told me to go and do it, then. Her house, her rules. I tried to end it in my 20's, but failed and ended up in an institution for my efforts. She is still in my life. It is confusing and demoralising. She says and does her horrible things when noone else is around, then denies everything and says its all my fault. She acts all nice and prim and proper when people are around. Nobody believes she could be so evil. There is no way out. Life is like a living hell. If I tried revenge, I fear it would only make things worse. I just want peace, or a permanent sleep. Whichever comes first.
Know their 10 secrets and more, no revenge , ignore them and move on , be happy and Thank you so much Christiana your words are touching and straight to the core of the matter. I’m so so grateful listening to you. I pray for more wisdom and strength.
When a narcissist gets mad and loses control of you or a situation they will NEVER admit that they are wrong. NEVER. And everything will always be your fault. After being with a narcissist and allowing him to bring my self esteem and self worth to its lowest I finally realized one day he is very detached from reality. And there's no point arguing with them because you're better off talking to the wall. So I find the best way is to not share your emotions with them, successes or express anything to them because it means nothing to them. Once I told him he's a narcissist and realised that's what he is my life and the arguing cut in half because I didn't feed into his bs anymore and yes restricting contact and setting boundaries definitely bothers them
💯 You are absolutely right. I can have a more productive conversation with a brick wall than my Narc. Talking to them is like talking to an extremely emotionally unhinged toddler....truly ridiculous.
The narcisistic person in my life was showing up every now and then even when the relationship was over after four years. During this time it kind of feeded my hope even when I felt in my bones I should stay away. When I have learned more about NPD and I saw clearly it was my case, I decided to not let this person come closer any longer. I still remember the day that I close the doors, there was a message telling me he has lost his job. But I was so done that I had no energy to answer even to say I was sorry....and actually I was not. I know him very well and I can imagine how angry he got about my indifference. Despite all the situation was a coincidence, it was very good to show this person I was really done. One year is gone by...and I healing now. But I can say...four years of my life were spent on nothing.
You’re absolutely right because knowing someone really truly from the bottom of their heart, doesn’t wanna talk to you that would hurt me as well and I’m not a narcissist
I posted my separated narcissist husband’s serial cheating on facebook. Everyone saw it. And he said now he lost all his friends. Which - he never actually had any. He simply had acquaintances. He now has created his own facebook account and instagram so he can pretend to be a good father. It barely even phased him. I have a child with him so this is going to be a long road…thanks for your info. Helps understand why he does what he does.
You block your own blessings when you seek revenge. Best thing you can do is forget about them but don’t forget what they did to you. Always remember the feeling you had when you left them, not when you met them. That’ll keep you from going back.
Every time I watch one of your videos, I relate more and more to what my relationship was about. Everything is spot on and I have connected the dots so now I don’t feel so bad that we never argued and one day I said some thing wrong and he up and left me and the biggest punishment is I haven’t heard from him in nine weeks and guess what I am not going to try to contact him And I know he must be wondering why I haven’t tried to ask him to come back or anything like that.
Amen!! I also agree with what the one person said about the best revenge is going no contact, because that's like we snatching off that mask, and exposing them without us getting our hands in it and just allow Karma to do what it does 😊
My experience is that one of control. When you take control of a situation and they feel that they should have had control, they will make you feel bad by making negative comments about how you handled the situation. Thanks for your video. I learned a lot
I realized as a very very young child, there was nothing within my ability to harm my family members that display NPD traits more than they currently inflict on themselves! I take no delight in their dysregulation, but I understood it wasn't about me!
💯 Given how toxic (and inescapable) the home environment is as we’re growing up, those of us who realize early on that it’s NEVER about us, are the relative lucky few. 🙏 Though I’m a minority in society who’s not understood, I don’t think I could’ve survived my upbringing, had I not been an INTJ-everyone else I knew seemed to be codependent in some capacity, but I’m just not wired that way.
That's amazing. I was very forgiving. I knew they were the sick ones but that doesn't mean the constant barage of insults and cruelty didn't effect me longterm.
The worst thing you can say to a narcissist is.. I'm falling in love with you. It can be the key they use to wreak havoc in your life and psyche. I share this from experience in the hope it may help someone else in a similar place. Never share those words unless you have vetted and got to know the person for while!
After a breakup I was in conversation with the ex and she - seemingly out of the blue - said “I am not a bad person.” It was sooo out of context and abruptly inserted that it was clearly a deeper statement than i understood at the time. I had actually just THANKED her for her efforts in the relationship and expressed my appreciation and was sad it was ending. Then: Boom! “I’m not a bad person.” Well, NOW I have a much better understanding of what was behind her statement. As well as so many of her other behaviours. Thank you!
I love not seeking revenge. I've found that God's vengeance is much better than anything I can dream up! You will reap what you sow! Maybe not today or tomorrow, but yes you will reap what you sow & it bites you square in the butt when you least expect it & at the most inopportune time!
What if it is the opposite way round, they sew what they reap? If they were genuinely happy and secure people then they wouldn't do what they do. I can't imagine what it would take for me to become somebody like that.
I’m still dealing with the narcissist. But now he crossed the line by bad mouthing me to our child, my daughter who doesn’t know him. Now my son on the other hand knows him because he has seen him in action. I’m definitely through with him and I’m praying for him to leave my life. I’m getting older and in need of peace. This person doesn’t know the meaning of peace. He is a pathological liar, heartless. Has no compassion for anyone including himself. I’m just sorry I wasted my time, energy and life with him. The blinders on my eyes have finally fallen. I never imagined that it was all an act. My God ,I raised three children but only gave birth to two. The third one is him who never grew up to maturity. I’m not his mother, and I want him out of my life. Thank you 🙏 so much for the information. God bless you. ❤ How stupid of me thinking that he would change. I have changed and are now loving myself the way it should have always been.
U are not stupid for loving someone. Don't beat yourself up. Give yourself the friend called time. He is not capable of love. Just a small angry child that will never mature. No talking, no calls, no contact and no reading their texts. They start loving you, saying sorry and then if u don't response, they attack. Stay away. Stay strong.
I had to put that clause in the divorce decree,,, no bad mouthing the other parent to the child, because I know how he is, so he blamed and badmouthed me t everyone else but my son...dumbass thought I wouldn't hear about it from these same people, he was pissed his free ride was over
Following up on living my best life, no contact, etc.: I am in the middle of a divorce and she initiated contact after nearly a half year of my ignoring her. I did insult her by calling her, truthfully, my abuser. Trigger city. But then is the coup de grace. I forgave her. Many times. Told her that it's not her fault she is this way and she can change. My heart is light, no hate resides in me anymore as forgiveness is for ME. For hating her, the woman I loved. Try it! And best to you kind souls who will survive to thrive.
He left obscene phone messages on my answering machine for my teenage son to find . My son being a teenager ( and pissed) made a copy and left it as our greeting😂😂😂 from there I called his mother and played it to share the joy . Then I left it on his own machine , his roommates machine , his works machine … He was not happy …lol. 😂😂😂😂 His own words , his own voice snarling , threatening and name calling( foul).
Dealt with quite a few narcissists. The last girl I didn’t catch on she was. In one of my last responses I told her the past two months seemed so fake upon her ignoring my calls and texts. I think she knew the jig was up. And she’s barely made a peep. Love it when my new natural boundaries in practice took care of the issue.
From a young age I was suspicious of my sibling. Fortunately, I started a diary. Kept me stable for decades. Have observed how the things done actually created enemies.
I read this and worry I was a narc. I feel this still cos I realise how badly I acted. Determined to keep this level of self awareness now and not let my ego run me and control my emotions better.
Maybe I’m from a different world or just so lucky enough not to know what a narcissist people are because I have never been involved in any one of these kind. Until now.. in the beginning I couldn’t figure it out what personality traits this person has .. over in control of me from what food to eat, movie to watch in Netflix, he will drive me everywhere though and now realizing he is totally controlling me. This one is classic.. he will even ask me what am I looking at … wow really? I’m so glad I crossed to your channel 😊
When I ended the relationship of 5 months, my X Christian Covert Narcissist started posting YT shorts saying “how she was freed from a narcissist”, “Heaven Sent or Counterfeit” and “When you leave a toxic relationship their demons still follow you”. She would use biblical scriptures to make her feel empowered if I did something wrong. Just downright crazy. Glad I left that and went no contact.👍
Mu ex did this and even posted "anonymous " in FB groups targeting me, calling me.a narcissist. She left a fatal clue it was her, lol. She posted this the day I went exclusive with my then new GF. She blocked all my social media but the day I changed my status to in relationship and my profile was me and my GF, the smear campaign was posted. She either has a fake profile or a spy in my social media.
Interestingly, two very narcissistic women that I interacted with way back in the day when we were all young and foolish both ended up with infertility problems in later years which apparently effected their egos to a significant extent.
I had my (un)fair share of narcs, but I learned from that, takes me 30 mins to figure them out, and call em out, after that when they know i can see thru them, they hide and block me. I eat narcs for breakfast now a days👊👊👊
I have a family member I would say is a narcissist. I have had to keep them at arms length. A few years ago I asked this person to pray for another member in our family. A few months later that came back to bite me. She kept the email of me asking them to pray for someone. The narcissist sent the email to the individual I asked her to pray for just cause trouble. I kept saying to myself, why would anyone do that about a prayer request. Then the narcissist told me that she didn’t have time to be brought into my drama. 😳my drama!?! My problem was believing that there was some part of this person who did have empathy. I was wrong. The narcissist is apart of my family. I stay away from her. If my family choose to see her I don’t stop them. But I see more and more of the family seeing who they are and pulling away.
Too right I was finally getting better and feeling ready to go back out he turned up - I feel quite setback from that one interaction but it also made me more aware of my own flaws and funnily enough drove me back towards GOD I truly believe he is protecting me and I’m making Great changes in the way I am approaching my life. I’m not all the way back to happy & content but I’m working on it and wishing & praying he also has a great future as I need ti not only forgive myself I need to forgive those that have hurt me
First of all I love your voice is very soothing I experienced a narcissist and you were run hundred percent correct the steps you’re talking about seem logical to me but I’m glad an expert validates me What was interesting to me is she would always say “you never say you love me or you never say you care” but it was never what she wanted to say to me, she tried to get me to say what she wants, which is a controlling thing I exposed a deceptive pathetic narcissist by telling a sleazy friend who I was suspicious about, about a new girl that I’m dating. Sure enough my friend spilled the beans and told my narcissist girlfriend all about it and she texted a friend inquiring about the new girlfriend. The beautiful thing it was made up and this was the only friend that I told so I nailed both of them wow that felt amazing
The vindictiveness that they’ll go to is amazing! I’ve dumped 3 different women that all did the same stuff to me and they all went deep into being vindictive! The last one immediately started posting things on social media of her doing things with other men... it was crazy bc that was exactly what she was accusing me of! Well, that and trolling people on social, which she just had to tell me about all the men that were reaching out to her of social, which was another thing she accused me of. But then, a dude that gave her a pair of sunglasses while she was waiting for her flight, asked her out on social! And of course she just had to tell me all about it... but, then the smear campaign, her kids, her family and friends, she told me herself that she talked shit about me to them, which I don’t even know what that shot could’ve been, maybe it was that I was calling her out on her gaslighting, deflection, blame placing and making up lies about me. It’s so text book and funny to me. But, this is 4 in a row for me... I give up at this point, f it, I’m done. I’ll just go live my life.
Your channel & extremely calming voice are my #1 coping mechanism for dealing with my narcissistic ex-husband and for not going completely insane from his horrible treatment of me. Thank you 🙏
thank you very much all the hint how to duel to Narciss . just lately I'm a victim Narciss abuse me over on IT . all thing you decrible was exactly they are . thanks
Thank you I have a narcissistic person in my life and it's very difficult because there is a child involved. I found this very helpful. My ex partner expects everything to revolve around him with no regards or acknowledging what he has put me through he just talks about himself.
AMEN. Take care of your emotions by submitting unto the Holy Spirit on a daily basis,don't judge or accuse them. Just go silent , ignore and don't talk negatively of anyone.Let the Lord cover you, take control of your thoughts and words. You can do all things,live with all kinds of people through Christ who enables you. Be strong in the Lord Jesus Christ.i suffered foe long but now take the full armour of God for protection and has made it simple and possible .Jesus prayed for us to the Heavenly Father that He God protect us from the evil one.
Having just left a narcissist a few weeks ago... I'm still suffering hard from everything that happened and realizing all of the things I have lost as a result.
I noticed rather extreme differences in the way my mind works over time. I recall the fight or flight reflex from when I was younger, but I don’t really have much of one now. I respond with calm indifference to aggression. It’s not bravery. I just don’t feel afraid or anxious as is normal. Growing up, my narcissistic mother made my life Hell. Lots of screaming and violence. Endless destruction of my confidence and self-respect. But somewhere along the way, I lost the ability to feel afraid of aggression. I also did a ton of combat and strength training, and I’m very comfortable with getting physical if I have to. I hated being a small and helpless victim more than anything in the world. Involuntary emotions became my bane. The only time I really find myself out of control of my emotions now is when one of my dogs passes. But I can live with that. They deserve that respect and love. Dogs and my wife saved my sanity.
One thing I have to say is, not all narcissist are stupid. My wife, after watching these video is clearly a huge narcissist and because I have a few of those tendencies, she has called me one for years. She is very smart and intelligent and can phycoanalize people very accurately. She reads me like a book and can run circles around me out thinking and coming up with stuff on the fly. I really really love her, or so I think, I'm beginning to wonder if it is trauma bonding now. After 14 years together, it is just hard to fathom not being with her, but I hate the way I'm feeling atm.
Yes they have a super talent for reading you, hence the mirroring. However their emotional intelligence is zero so they will consistently underestimate you and be blown away when you go no contact.
Talk to her. Maybe just show her this message. She might not even know she is driving you away. Woman are very emotional while men are more logical. My husband and I fight but we always talk about why and try to fix it. Ten years. I don't give up. I hope you and your wife can get along better.
Ignore the comment saying to talk with her about it, that's for normal people. These ones just use everything you share with them against you and they're not ignorant, they purposely treat you poorly.
They expect 100 % loyalty but they are not 1% loyal
Exactly
Into the 3rd year with my covert narcissist, I started treating him the way he was treating me. He had no idea what was happening. I threw him out 3 years ago after a domestic. He gave me a fat lip. Cops came, took him away. I pressed charges. He got a little bit of karma, not anywhere near what he deserved. It's coming, tho. Complete asshole !!😂😂
I work with 2 of them, and they are professional manipulators. I had both of them flip out on me different times, and I'm just staring at them like they are crazy. I have to walk away, and while they continue to yell. They never apologize and make them selves victims . It hurts when they believe them 😢
Lol😂😂😂😂😂
They expect 100% respect but they are not 0.001% respectful
The best revenge is not to take any revenge at all. Ignore them.
Very well put you are 100 percent right.
True … I ignore mine so hard he’s questioning his own existence 😂❤ ✌️
Love this ❤
I forgave all my abusers. They hated being killed with kindness.
That's impossible if you have kids with them, the law is on their side. You have no say in the matter.
th best revenge is walk away and don't look back and ignore everything they try to throw at you
My revenge is living a good life
The only way to keep yourself safe from a narcissist is cut all ties with them instantly & never know them or even recognise them ever again!!. Insignificant to you & play no part in your life. Coz even arguing with them, feeds them, just never ever recognise that person ever again no matter how many times they may walk past you. They can never hurt you again if you don't know them anymore. Close the door on their existence, it's your door & you control it!!. Now breathe & go live your life never having known these beasts!!.
@@DaniilBalkans-jh2rw absolutely...they are like vampires..the only differents is they suck all the energie out of you,..they need your energie to live
As a spoiled child...
No landfill should have the narcissist's toxic waste!
Don’t let a narcissist know your weakness or past mistakes!!! Give them nothing over you!!
Exactly! They use your weaknesses against you when they discard you.
Make up a false weakness! Make them think they are "winning" and yes, never tell them what you fear they make sure it happens! So fear something you like!
I have one now, and she so casually asks me questions, disecting even the simpliest things in order to get more info and try to make me feel bad or wrong about anything. I hate that I'll still fall for this at times because she catches me off guard.
@@justjosie8963 be vigilant and feel completely comfortable you know that what you share is freely up to you! Don’t Be manipulated
They only know what you give them & they run with it rather it's true or not 🙃 that's the thing so really who cares. A gullible bird will eat whatever wirm you bait them with
Best revenge to take on the narcissist is to
1. Be authentic
2. Be happy without narcissistic person
3. See through their schemes and manipulation
4. Ignore them and their silly games, allways
5. Show them no pity, stay calm and ignore them whatever they do
6. Never allow your compassion to take over your common sense. They are problem for others in everything they do, they were once, and they will be again. And again. And again.
Thank you so much for this wonderful message. No revenge just ignore them ❤
Thank you so much for this wonderful message. No revenge just ignore them ❤
Thank you so much for this wonderful message. No revenge just ignore them ❤
Revenge is what they do. Don’t stoop to their level. They’re childish
ShadowKing, after reading the post I think it's closer to 'justice' that is meant, than any sort of super-intensive personal vendetta. I do think the victim can seek justice through the Court System, and even from God for that matter.
I totally agree to not stoop to their level. My sons dad insults me, degrades me,etc. practically every time we have to communicate about our son or the parenting schedule.
I solely communicate with him for coparenting purposes and try my best to keep the peace. But it doesn’t stop him from finding something to be mad about. He doesn’t miss a opportunity to insult me, degrade me or accuse me of being a bad mother (although he’s been in and out of our sons life due to addiction and being in and out of jail).
I only respond to the things I have to (to do with coparenting) and I ignore the rest. But I have to read through all of the mess just to decipher what I have to respond to.
It gets so exhausting and frustrating being the “bigger person” all the time. But I refuse to give him the supply he’s looking for. But I also know if I was to respond the way I would have to to stoop to his level. It would make me feel bad about myself. To allow him to get me to that point. So I literally have to treat him like he’s a small child having a temper tantrum. I look at him as someone with emotional maturity of a 4 yr old. I believe it’s true too. Which helps me too for some reason to not respond in the ways I want to sometimes.. but it is still tough at times because I’m tired of being his punching bag (in a sense).
Revenge and grudges over anything & everything under the sun
They are not childish.. Being childish is sweet... They are evil
Childish is true. My sister is trying to project an innocent, childlike persona. A person's childlike ways appear when they are unaware.
I don’t want revenge
I just want to be happy without thinking about him
That is my peace ❤
Yes!!!
Yes!!!
Totally 💯 👍
Same tbf I cudent inflict pain on someone regardless of what theve done to you
I'm struggling to attain that peace, but it's worth it!
Proving they're lying, proving their wrong, leaving them out of the conversation, criticizing their arrogance and pride, proving their NOT better than everybody else. Laughing at their hypocrisy...etc. These are the things that cause their anger. Thanks for letting me unload.
Ill definitely try this i have narcissists at work and in my family and its very draining and i have suicidal tendencies because of dealing with these sick "people"
@@thecringeistoostrong hope you can survive them. I got ulcers from mine.
@@aliaskong1723 I tried it today at work and they made other coworkers and bosses (they even made my "friends" convert to be a narcs and now they try to gaslight me and tell and laugh to the other coworkers and bosses and i have only complained about it a few times to a few coworkers and they instantly told everyone that i dont like it and then the bosses said "who cares" and now everyone just gossips about me infront of my face and eveyone disrespects me and this is killing me i cannot heal from this for a long while or im still surviving with these abuses at work and at home and i hope you will survive yours aswell😇 I think i might got ulcers aswell from starving myself and not drinking because of this
@@thecringeistoostrong Don't punish yourself for those narcissist. They are the one's lacking, not you.
Is Trump a narcissist?
Alcoholic, drug addicted, narcissists are the worst
You’ve got that right!
and SEX and secretly cheating
Oh mine got so high after a 24 hours crack binge he was crawling on all fours hiding from his Mom at 3am while Mom was asleep in her own bed in her own house far away. Paranoia is now my new tool she he acts up. He's a roomie but awful to deal with but now I have a clue. That was the day I realized how pitiful and weak he is.
@@neglected_vices😢move out of there!! Danger.
Add in the narcissistic family/ friends and boom! Hubs family is 5-6 generations of highly narcissistic people. His daughter has been fighting cancer for most of her 31 years and he barely spent time with her. When she got sick from the chemo and radiation, he screamed at her for needing adult diapers and ruining his life by making herself sick on purpose. When karma catches up to him, he won't have anyone. Even his grandkids don't interact with him.
I went for vengeance, it wasn't a pleasant experience, but I'm proud of myself for standing up for myself.
I'm finally finished my vengeance, I'd agree that it doesn't feel good and its stupid to alot of people! But after years of abuse from the woman, I do feel relieved to finally get the monkey of my back with the emotional abuse I was getting from a troglodyte
well done!
Well what if they are convicted and sent to jail. Sometimes it’s necessary to expose. Let’s see how they do in jail
Good on you 👍
revenge can be sweet in certain circumstances, bit its one of those things that should be more of a last resort though. and not anything that is illegal of course.
When a narcissist comes around I play one of these videos about them, lay the phone down, watch them squirm and act busy doing nothing, it's like kryptonite.
I started talking to my "bestie" narcissist about aquaintance narcissist and their traits, not to hurt her but to vent, but as the words came out, we both knew these traits and the term narcissist was her too.
Haha did that oh bother he got shittty .going a bit too far with the naraccist stuff he reckons.funny
Yup. I call it "going gen alpha"..IT DOES WORK..headphones as well.❤
I get going tit for tat is a mistake… but for a deliberate hurtful attack on life or career you dont get a pass because “Im better than that”, you get what you deserve and they get a quick awakening that you arent asleep at the wheel… have to agree… ignoring most realistic best option for someone you cant go no contact with.. but an unexpected payback here and there will remind them you are not a punching bag… and how quickly they realize their mental judo is amateurish.. keep it quick but direct dont get dragged into what they want… too much emotional response. I don’t believe ignore and free pass is way to always go.
I didn't even have to play these videos out loud for mine to get extremely defensive. All he had to do was see the video recommendations on my youtube feed. He just got angry and was like, "Oh you think you're smarter than me or that you know everything because you watch some UA-cam videos?" I was like dude, what if I'm watching them for myself?
Leave them for good and live your best life is the best revenge. Work on yourself to improve your career and mental health, go to gym, hangout with friends n family, book the vacation. Life is too short to think about the person that discarded you so easily.
So nice 👏👍👍👍👏
Narcissists are the closest thing to a devil on earth. They expect so much in return for almost nothing. You need to mirror their energy. Give nothing, show no emotion.
He is the devil himself
As much as hurt people would try to agree with you. There are people far worse. Women, not all, call most men narcissist when that's exactly who they are
Revenge is for the emotionally weak. Just tell them respectfully that you don't enjoy being friends with them anymore. If they respond with anger, then you know you're doing what's right.
I didn't say anything. I blocked them and walked away. No contact ever again, that's the healthiest option for me 😊
@@ben393 Ditto, did the same! I'm the second eldest of 4 daughters, "3 believe the Narcissistic sister" It hurt at first, but I don't feel anything for them except pity now! They are her flying monkeys and she has manipulated and used them for her selfish purposes as I watched. I knew better than to interfere. I wanted to but, knew what the end result would be. Also, some of her shadiness I realized after the fact!
Depending on the narc you’re dealing with, they may become angry & violent if you tell them you don’t like them.
I’ve inadvertently found that I’m really good at REPELLING narcs, and aside from the ones I was karmically-assigned to as family, narcs won’t try to keep me around (anymore).
The two “strategies” that seem foolproof and SAFE are:
1) Inquisitiveness
2) Aloofness
I don’t know a single narc who’s willing to answer questions or elaborate on a response to help someone understand something-that would constitute an act of SERVICE, and narcs serve NO ONE (they might pretend to, in order to obtain something they want), esp. if they think that person is below them.
I’m naturally both of the things mentioned above, so I can’t turn it off. 😂 If you really need for the narc to leave YOU first, I encourage you to inhabit the persona of someone who’s curious & clueless-it’s always worked like a charm to make narcs want to avoid me.
They’ll come back if you’re a helpful empath, so don’t offer them anything, either. Your kindness & helpfulness come at an exorbitant cost to your well-being, so if you must, make sure you’re being compensated in some way. By requesting reciprocation, they might retract their request (or more likely, demand).
Respectfully?I assume, just say it polite, that's it.
It did not bode well with mine when I told her I no longer had any intention nor desire to have any further contact/communication.
Two tactics l found that worked
1) the No Reaction, no matter how vicious they become, say and do nothing
2) the Smiling No. They cant stand it
The smiling NO is sinister to them lol 😂 but it burns them up
Yep. If you must respond make it short and to the point . Yes , no, (or smiling no if you wanna make them super mad lol), ugh huh , ok , another that irritates mine is when I refuse to be drug into their reality and I will say that may be your reality but the one I’m in happened very differently.
Everyone, please don’t forget that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a “sickness” and people that have this diagnosis or even the traits can become VERY dangerous if challenged or pushed into losing control! We should not purposely try to get any kind of “revenge” or make jokes about them that could ultimately send them into a violent rage. Once you get out of that relationship, LEAVE THEM ALONE! Don’t follow up any of their actions or words. The only thing you should focus on is keeping yourself and your family safe from harm!
Well put!
Good advice. I just got away from an NPD brother and have been considering sending him a letter enumerating all the ways he lied to me and himself. The truth would send him into a rage, and while part of me would enjoy that, I'm thinking it would accomplish nothing other than setting him toward some kind of revenge.
@@mileshall9235do what I did aith my ex wife and write the letter but never send it, keep it somewhere you can read it anytime your in doubt or flying monkeys are harassing. It’s your truth. Why do we need confirmation and their acceptance? If you hand them the letter they have the blue prints to undo your validation of their torturing within your own self doubt. You don’t need anyone else to make this real or not. But want you certainly don’t need is a narcissist thinking your going to expose all the things you just said to them to the outside world. They don’t spend time working on themselves. They dedicate it to working on the threats of their image. So you giving them the checklist will have them sharpening up the acts in those areas and also slipping in passing comments that will completely undermine your credibility in those areas. You’ll talk to people already prepped and the doubt in their faces will have you do what the narc needed you too. Prove them right, you are fucken crazy and unpredictable. As you start force feeding your truths down their throats. The land mines are set for you to finish yourself off. The narcissist knows you seek external validation as a need to feel accepted. It’s the reason you want to send the letter to someone you have been forced to run from that you know doesn’t care about changing and that knows its wrong. Why else are they different out in the public? You have to change behavior you then confirm you know anyone seeing that from the outside would be disgusted and they would be judged as c”&ts. I don’t have a “home” character and a completely opposite “public “ character as soon as the front door opens. We don’t have a need to hide.
The self doubt inside you is all that you fight. It steals your truths and resets all your painful lessons. You have to bring closure to this with no one else’s help. Dig deeper into your own traumas. If you had a narcissistic brother you definitely had a narcissistic parent. I swear my life on it. Your wounds he squeezes werent out there by him. He’s just piggybacking on them. He’s not the first narcissist that hurt you. Find them and learn who you aren’t and you’ll be able to become who you are. 👍
Anyone with NPD, should be banned from leadership roles, teaching or mentoring, politics, military, police, commercial passenger driving/flying, and firearms.
Very well said
God will handle it all… don’t worry, walk away❤💪🏼
Thank you...🤝💯🙏
God sod
There's a saying in Spanish that goes, dios Los averguenza.
This is a cop out. God is Santa Claus for gullible adults. YOU are in control of your life. It's YOUR choices that influence how it goes. YOU choose to move past hurt and abuse.
If you are going to attribute it to some god, then you must also attribute the bad, and now you are worshiping a sadist.
No thanks, I'll guide my own path through life and not rely on superstitions to make my decisions.
This is part of growing up and being a functioning, responsible adult.
Not walk away but RUN! and never look back
Their consequences are them being them, they are miserable and never will change
😂😂
Truer words ever said! Ignorance is bliss. I let my narcissistic stepmom talk like a vengeful, crazy person in public. All of that by saying things on how to torture us. The strangers can judge for themselves.
They hate themselves deep down and will NEVER be at peace. Their ego always needs to be stroked because they’re broken, sad, insecure, and miserable.
I never realized that my ex-girlfriend was actually a narracist she wanted me gone once I was of no use anymore. I admit I could've done some things differently and tired harder, but she chose to tear me down and dressed it up as constructive criticism, and in the end, she discarded me so easily. I'm glad I healed, and now I'm in a healthy relationship with another narracist survivor that I'm helping with her recovery.
Kkk
"just cause it's Tuesday and they feel like it" I love it :)
So true!!
I exposed him, and told him "stop playing mind games, I know your modus operandi and is not longer working on me" He's terrified!
I exposed my narc ex as well. I'm really not a vindictive person, but sometimes, people need to be checked and put in their place and I don't think exposing them (especially since you're the one telling the truth about who they really are) is necessarily a bad thing. I kept all receipts from my narc ex and told them I had the entire text thread from our relationship and could damage them severely with what I had on them, so if they wanted to play with me, bring it on. Some pretty embarrassing material could end up getting "leaked." No contact and no problems since then. If they don't start none, there will be none.
You give them the benefit of doubt and they think it’s another opportunity to disrespect you and harass you
That seems like human beings in general
@@katelynnaeristevens1394 the world is full of garbage people but sometimes you can go through a bag of garbage and you might find something useful or recyclable, but not the scum at the bottom. I'm sorry they've been traumatized but their own pathology prevents them from seeing they are the problem and need to find help. Many criminals and mental patients have been reformed (to a point, mind you), narcs and psychopaths don't have that awareness. Their false ego is perfect and that's their whole world view.
The only revenge you need to get is when you leave and never look back And cut them out of your life 100%. Don’t ever talk to them and don’t ever see them. That’s your revenge.
Can't do that if you have kids with them!!!!!
I thought I had cut my evil narcissist brother out of my life 36 years ago after he was vicious and vindictive at a particularly tragic crisis in my life but he still keeps popping up. I refused to have anything to do with him. He would phone me regularly to the point where I would not answer the phone unless I knew who it was. He still continued to send me Xmas cards, I ignored them. Then he would 'just happen to be passing' and bang on my front door. We live 60 miles away from each other. I tried to be pleasant but as usual within 5 minutes he would be nasty, sneering, putting me down, critcising everything and everyone conected with me. Our contact got less and less but there was forever that threat that some day he would pop into my life again. I moved house and didn't tell him, changed my phone number and my email address. Within 6 months he had tracked me down and the cards started up again. Implying yet again that he knew where I lived and at any time he could enter my life whenever he wished. Which 5 years later he did. Banged on my front door one Sunday morning. I had had enough. I really let fly at him and told him exactly what I thought of him I was so angry, how dare he invade my life yet again. As usual I was the one who was mentally unstable, that was a favourite put down of his whenever his relationships failed, I was bitter and twisted, I was sad and deranged and needed professional help. He then wrote me a letter saying he could not understand why I was so unnecessarily angry and they he expected to be welcomed the next time he 'was passing by'. I wrote a very long letter back detailing what he had said and done over 80 years with regard to me, my mother, my husband and how utterly nasty and insufferable he had been and that he would never change. Threatening legal action if he ever contacted me again ( he is a very rich and successful solicitor). I have heard nothing since. Maybe now the worm has turned I have finally got him out of my life.
Good advice ✌✌
This is very true.. but ibdi have a toddler with him. And he does not have a safe place to take her and his patience isnt at a level for a toddler. So I do have to have in my home in order too see her. As I'd never get in the way of their relationship unless he became toxic. Dont get me wrong he is no dad if the year.. its more to look good for people around him as he doesnt see his other 2 children now I've been discarded. As I see his 2 children as my own, they still come and sleep at my house. He has the option to come too.
I feel so much lighter, happier and at peace and powerful. It's been 13 years if this. And I've never felt like this before this sense of realisation now I know about narcissistis and that is him. Being able to learn and understand that I wasnt crazy and it was all tactics. Has made it alot easier thus time to start my healing process. But I do struggle that because we do have a childs he does still think he has the rights to me.. even when I grey rock, be distant.. but also I take my girls feeling into consideration I want her too see us get along so I think that's very I'm important especially with her being so young.. when she is older she will see it for her self like his other children have. But I'd never be the one to get in the way. I get along with the mums. We actually have a very good situation one I'm very proud of. But he dies "treat" me "better" as I know I'm his grade A supply. Not in bug headed way. But it's like a unconditional love from my end like how woukd be with my children. He dies think he owns me and because I do have to be around him and act ok infront if my girl it gives him his supply from me. And I dont want him to feel bad. But I also dont like being his supply. As right now in his head he has it good. Moved out and left us because im becoming homeless so we wasnt giving him what he needed from me a place to live. He knows he can not ask me for money when he doesnt help with any if his children. He has sorted him self out got a place and left us. I'm happy about that. God has done this to show me the truth. And I do have wobble days as its only been since this January but i do wake up and thank god everyday for my strength and for giving me the answer to my question I had for 13 years does he love me or am I just a bed and fanny as my mum put it 😂 (she said it to make me laugh not malicious) and that saying actually helped me as it was true. I know not to be jealous of anything that's comes his way.. after educating my self with these videos I've realised this isnt me as much as he says it's all my fault but it's his way to cope with life. Not just mental abuse bit physical as well. We had a court case in 2015 as much as i didnt want too but i was scared this man is going to un alive me if i dont do something. That mind of abuse didnt stop but stopped enough that stupidly as it sounds enough to deal with (hiar pulling strangulation, pushing over, very extreme sexual stuff) which now I know was abuse. I just struggle with still being his supply as ibdo have to be around him. I know there are contact centres but he wouldn't show up and my girl adores him. He doednt do anything other sit in the sofa or try it on with me (until I put a boundary in place) he doesnt always show up on his day now or he will ask to show up more I think when he needs to he around me it makes him feel safe. I know hes more around because of me than our child.. or too my nine biological children (which I do not see them as that at all! But for the purpose of this message to not confuse)
I'd really love to be able to speak to someone who is experiencing that same situation as me?
I'm healing, we are much happier, my toddler is acting out but I totally understand why she has had her dad around every day to sometimes not all. I think she is worried if dad can mum might. I'd never she is my absolute world and her feelings come before my situation with her dad. He does not and if I try and out another boundary in place or try and make him take accountability for him discarding us at a time when we needed him. He will not show up out of shame, which I've realised its shame. He is smearing my name how he has "lost" his family, lost his job, homeless (he homed him self asap) its us who will be in a bedsit and potentially put out of our county and if not homed by the council as I can not afford private alone my landlord has to take me to court to get me out, otherwise the council wont help me as "I've made my self homeless" ridiculous I know but it's real. I feel like my life is a Jeremy kyle show atm. Yet he is saying how he will un alive hims self to doctors and the job centre in order to not have to work, my guess is so he doednt have to contribute towards his children and also make my life harder as I can not afford to be in this house alone. Another way to be able to control me and hope I suffer which I am but when you have been abused for a long period of time you can put on a convincing smile which I do around him. Sometimes it irritates him and sometimes he likes it. I struggle with all the sexual things he made me do. And when I found out I am going to be homeless and was so depleted and feeling scared of being in a hostel and out of my area miles away (worst case) he got highly aroused by my sadness and brokenness. And that made me question all the thing he done to me in the past and how he would try/make me feel while sometimes doing the dead. Not always but on our nights of when he needed that kind of full attention and I coukdnt say no. And he got off on that so woukd push and push too see/try and make me uncomfortable of the type of things he would ask for..
He cheated, lied, beat me, emotional abuse, isolated me.. even now I am isolated. Even now I woukdnt even dare speak to another guy (not that I want too) and worry for the day I do. Yet he is out doing the most yet making out like this whole situation is my doing. I'm being made homeless. I can not help that and he chose to sort him self out and not come back for us nor to help. Which now I know about narcissistis its actually quite normal.
I dont have anyone to talk too. I have started therapy my first session is the 8th of April. Which is also my eviction date. But as I said I am not allowed to leave until I am homed or my landlord take me to court and I'll get a court fine. It's really harsh situation by its self let alone trying to heal from a narcissist. My landlord is some what understanding. As he wants to sell his property die to living crisis and not being able to afford this house.. which is fare enough. If it was upto us I'd hand over they keys and wish him good luck.. bit the council will not allow that. They are trying to make it bitter towards us. Yet weve had a good landlord tenant relationship.
I can not wait to be out of this house, and a new chapter, new home, fresh start and not have my narc feel like he still owns this house. As my next one with just be mine and our children's. I'm sure then that's when the hoover will happen so I am just trying to make my self string enough to not be fooled by it as I have been discarded stupidly amount of times to the point it scares me how I allowed it. I take my blame in allowing this too happen. But my eyes opened when I saw youngest pick up on walking on egg shells. And him ignoring her when she would be saying good morning after he had got up. True heart brake is watching your child's heart brake and i know it will. And i feel bad but i will not be the reason why and doing it at this time I'm hoping she will not remember it as much whe she is older as once I'm homed and the hoover does not work that's when he will be gone for good.
But he will be unhappy trying to find me in everyone he meets. I hated who inwas how loving, loyal (never even spoke or went on a date, messages nothing on my discards. One out of fear and 2 because that is not my morals, when I love I love. But when I'm done I'm done!) So I have faith.
Sorry for this s.a just it's easy for people to say just get over it.. but I'm someone who cant not straight away. For me it was real. No matter how un real it was now I've learnt the word narcissist.
Un biological children***
I see my un biological children as mine too. Typing error.
He won't respect..but always wants all praises....attention.. and respect
The opposite of love is indifference.
you are absolutely right! he loves hurting me he loves revenge and argued. but I was blind before I let him insult my personality and live in the dark just because I loved him so much. now I'm glad I'm strong enough to let him go. emotional damage, it comes to the point that I can't take it anymore. I felt too much pain till now, but I have peace of mind, and my eyes are wide open. It makes me sad, but I had to let go.
Same
❤❤❤
You'll be alright; but dont forget what you learned!❤
I know exactly how you feel because I can see the little girl that was traumatized by her father and it saddens me to think that I abandoned her but I didn't abandon her she forced me to leave. It took me awhile, but I add an epiphany..
God's plan is perfect and everyone's doing the best they can..
Because...
Psychologically emotionally healthy people don't wake up one day and say "I want to be a serial killer" it doesn't happen like that.
The reason why they behave the way they do is because they honestly cannot see that it is wrong.
They are literally doing the best they can.
I see all these things as the true revenge on a narcissist. Crushing their ego, never letting them have control, not letting them shame you, all these things are revenge upon the narcissist especially living your best life without them.
✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔
Yes, they hate happy people so much. Happiness is powerful.
Yes!
Im the postman and im original verry original, I am I, I have no game, they are playing games, and you cannot beat no game with the game
@@Pingvin666 Yes, never play their game, just let them know you don't like games and let not what they do get to you. Make yourself the end of the line for their games.
My family is also tired of the narcissist in my life spreading rumors about me and my family. This week was it. We did not reply to them by commenting on that post or posting comments on our own pages. My immediate family and I have unfriended her and blocked all contact. Her only way to contact me is in person at my house and it’s not very pretty. I told her she can only visit when my husband and our family is home. If she comes over otherwise, she will be ignored and if she refuses to leave, the police will be called. She’s started a nasty smear campaign against me for what reason who knows. She is definitely grandiose. I am so thankful for my immediate family unfriend ing and blocking numbers. I know not everyone is that lucky . Prayers for all ❤
Faced with a similar situation 😢
I once had a last comfrontation in which I decided to open my needs to the narcissist, believing he'd empathize. He didn't. He was surprised I had emotions and could express my needs, got angry I was not serving his needs and told me I "lack empathy" because I'm not satisfying him. And also smeared me behind my back, threatened to fire me,and is giving me the silent treatment, he thinks he's got me. But i lost all willingness to engage with him on any level forever. Despicable demon.
It’s hard but you got this. Me too. Second time I’ve been apart from him after I let him Hoover me. During the time we were back together I took the opportunity to get a lot of evidence of his infidelity and also some shady business dealings so he now knows I’m not being the bigger person this time and will expose him to who I need to. Also got a domestic violence order against him and called his bluff when he taunted me that I wouldn’t call the police when he turned up at my place and started being intimidating. I asked the police to just give him a formal warning so as not to make him too angry but he couldn’t control his anger about it at the police station and they made the decision to charge him for the breach of the order. He is now of course blaming me for him being charged. The policeman said to me “ if he can’t keep his cool in front of a police officer then I can only imagine how he is with you at home” It felt so good to be believed after having him convince everyone that I had the problem and not him. I recorded the last intimidation and gave the video to the police which was also why they believed me. I’m taking it one day at a time right now and just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and things will get better for us all. Stay strong. X❤
She had the grandchildren,5 yrs. Old singing a song about how I was a pussy, and has a vagina, I thought that is the lowest I've seen a person go
That remind me kids at school. They can be really cruel if no adult stop them, it could ends with traumas or more suicide! The narc are build the same with no empathy. They're just going to push you and make you suffer for they own pleasure. Now I get it why they call it "disorder"! They are functionning but not properly 🤯 I'm a 6'3 and 229,2 pounds athletic black man. Trust me I'm scared of what the adult society gives credit for to a woman not knowing they are narcissist ones! I really need to protect myself by disappearing !
Thank you Christina!❤ I’m so grateful for people like you making these videos about narcissism!
Today I’m celebrating my 1 year freedom from the narcissist!!!! 🎉🥳.
He caused me so much pain!!
Love boomed me for 2 years, convinced me to leave my family (boyfriend and 2 children) for him and made me go through 2 abortions (because he didn’t wan’t the baby). But Thank God I didn’t have a baby with him knowing what a scum he is now!
When he finally had sucked every gram of energy out of me and I told him goodbye he asked another girl out 2 minuttes after. I know because I had made up a false profile of a young girl.
He still managed to hoover me back once more despite this (I was really trauma bonded).
But now it’s a year ago I went no contact and I’m feeling endlessly much better today!
Thank you for your support and education through your videos !🤗
I have watched many videos on the subject. This Lady knows exactly what she is talking about. so thank you
What hurts so bad is the confusion. These people have a whole game plan and to a normal person you're left thinking "what the heck is going on?". A million scenarios go through your head and it's really very simple. These people are dirtbags and don't care anything about you. Trust me, married 28 years to one and I've seen it all. I was super young when we met and she was older. So I had 0 idea what was going on for decades. Thankfully channels like these cleared things up and I'm getting out soon. The stories I could tell!
For some time, I was unsure if she really was a narcissist but the more and the longer I engaged with her, the worse my life became and the more my self-confidence has been destroyed because she was doing everything a typical narc does. I finally decided to go the no contact route and walked away. I still need to heal but it feels so good knowing Im finally on the right track and they can no longer pull of the same old shit.
Your dealing with one!
I was already saw what she was in the begginning, i am the same but true, im building my life as good as I can when im with them, im destroying them with my energy, this is a trill for me
I did exactly these things, I'm proud of myself! Sadly they want to get revenge all the time, it's just exhausting to always be ready to deal with that.
I have deleted the narc, I feel deeply empowered, it was a sensible move.
This Experience I Went Through I Wish It On No One. I Saw The Real Meaning Of Narcissist. From Shaming, Humiliations,Setting Me Up, Trying To Kill Me, To All The Above. But I Pray It's All Over Now. I Pray She Finds God Like I Have.
Are narcs ever NOT hurt?!? Isn’t that why they overcompensate the way that they do?
People who don’t feel hurt will never default to trying to run someone’s day or LIFE-they’d be too busy living their own best life.
The only times I ever see narcs enjoying themselves is during moments of hedonism or schadenfreude. The “happiness” is always fleeting & ephemeral.
True
Survive & Thrive 💞 Much Gratitude ✨️
Exposing a narcissist to all the ex common friends long after you speak ( 5 years or so). Drive them absolutely insane. I did it, I enjoyed the show with popcorn.
😅😅..I can't wait to expose my ex..he's gonna try and reach out and ask why would I do that but he's already blocked and I live in a different city 😅😅
I ended up going the no-contact/indifference route with my ex-girlfriend. Hindsight being 20/20 I noticed that she would attempt to draw me into an argument whenever she saw something she didn't like. This, to me, now seems like a method of control. Ultimately it was almost pitiful to watch her repeatedly try and fail to bait me into an argument, and fail when she tried to change tactics.
Ex did this all the time.. 🙄
Sounds like it could also be that you have bad behaviors that impact people around you and she was trying to express that. Good thing she's the narcissist though.
Very enlightening
Sometimes I wonder who the original narcissist is in the relationship. My partner was overtly controlling but also extremely love bombed me, I ignored all the red flags until he got me to move in and cook and clean and basically mother him then he started being indifferent to my needs until I started acting like the narcissist.
This is describing my mother. I don't want revenge, I want peace. Having had depression since childhood and periods of suicidal ideation since my teens, I made the mistake of approaching her with what was hurting me. I told her about it and she said I should stop feeling sorry for myself. When I told her I didn't want to live any more, she told me to go and do it, then. Her house, her rules. I tried to end it in my 20's, but failed and ended up in an institution for my efforts. She is still in my life. It is confusing and demoralising. She says and does her horrible things when noone else is around, then denies everything and says its all my fault. She acts all nice and prim and proper when people are around. Nobody believes she could be so evil. There is no way out. Life is like a living hell. If I tried revenge, I fear it would only make things worse. I just want peace, or a permanent sleep. Whichever comes first.
LOVE the integration of comments made to help us all to understand points we want to understand better.
Know their 10 secrets and more, no revenge , ignore them and move on , be happy and Thank you so much Christiana your words are touching and straight to the core of the matter. I’m so so grateful listening to you. I pray for more wisdom and strength.
When a narcissist gets mad and loses control of you or a situation they will NEVER admit that they are wrong. NEVER. And everything will always be your fault. After being with a narcissist and allowing him to bring my self esteem and self worth to its lowest I finally realized one day he is very detached from reality. And there's no point arguing with them because you're better off talking to the wall. So I find the best way is to not share your emotions with them, successes or express anything to them because it means nothing to them. Once I told him he's a narcissist and realised that's what he is my life and the arguing cut in half because I didn't feed into his bs anymore and yes restricting contact and setting boundaries definitely bothers them
💯 You are absolutely right. I can have a more productive conversation with a brick wall than my Narc. Talking to them is like talking to an extremely emotionally unhinged toddler....truly ridiculous.
The narcisistic person in my life was showing up every now and then even when the relationship was over after four years. During this time it kind of feeded my hope even when I felt in my bones I should stay away. When I have learned more about NPD and I saw clearly it was my case, I decided to not let this person come closer any longer. I still remember the day that I close the doors, there was a message telling me he has lost his job. But I was so done that I had no energy to answer even to say I was sorry....and actually I was not. I know him very well and I can imagine how angry he got about my indifference. Despite all the situation was a coincidence, it was very good to show this person I was really done. One year is gone by...and I healing now. But I can say...four years of my life were spent on nothing.
Revenge is forgive for you and love yourself again ❤❤
You’re absolutely right because knowing someone really truly from the bottom of their heart, doesn’t wanna talk to you that would hurt me as well and I’m not a narcissist
I posted my separated narcissist husband’s serial cheating on facebook. Everyone saw it. And he said now he lost all his friends. Which - he never actually had any. He simply had acquaintances. He now has created his own facebook account and instagram so he can pretend to be a good father. It barely even phased him. I have a child with him so this is going to be a long road…thanks for your info. Helps understand why he does what he does.
You block your own blessings when you seek revenge. Best thing you can do is forget about them but don’t forget what they did to you. Always remember the feeling you had when you left them, not when you met them. That’ll keep you from going back.
Every time I watch one of your videos, I relate more and more to what my relationship was about. Everything is spot on and I have connected the dots so now I don’t feel so bad that we never argued and one day I said some thing wrong and he up and left me and the biggest punishment is I haven’t heard from him in nine weeks and guess what I am not going to try to contact him And I know he must be wondering why I haven’t tried to ask him to come back or anything like that.
When you have been played /telling them upfront to their face what a player /liar /they are feels sweet
Amen!! I also agree with what the one person said about the best revenge is going no contact, because that's like we snatching off that mask, and exposing them without us getting our hands in it and just allow Karma to do what it does 😊
I reeeree reèe I need d😮 to get a new phone so I can get my re The first thing swwewwddddd
She expected 100% loyalty, but was 1%, loyal to me.
My experience is that one of control. When you take control of a situation and they feel that they should have had control, they will make you feel bad by making negative comments about how you handled the situation. Thanks for your video. I learned a lot
I realized as a very very young child, there was nothing within my ability to harm my family members that display NPD traits more than they currently inflict on themselves! I take no delight in their dysregulation, but I understood it wasn't about me!
💯 Given how toxic (and inescapable) the home environment is as we’re growing up, those of us who realize early on that it’s NEVER about us, are the relative lucky few. 🙏
Though I’m a minority in society who’s not understood, I don’t think I could’ve survived my upbringing, had I not been an INTJ-everyone else I knew seemed to be codependent in some capacity, but I’m just not wired that way.
That's amazing. I was very forgiving. I knew they were the sick ones but that doesn't mean the constant barage of insults and cruelty didn't effect me longterm.
The worst thing you can say to a narcissist is.. I'm falling in love with you. It can be the key they use to wreak havoc in your life and psyche. I share this from experience in the hope it may help someone else in a similar place. Never share those words unless you have vetted and got to know the person for while!
I make the mistake and told her I am in love with her.She told me to grow up and discard me.
I told a friend who's a narc that I liked him n he used it against me
Too late for me 😢😢😢😢
Nope. You can withdraw it.
After a breakup I was in conversation with the ex and she - seemingly out of the blue - said “I am not a bad person.” It was sooo out of context and abruptly inserted that it was clearly a deeper statement than i understood at the time. I had actually just THANKED her for her efforts in the relationship and expressed my appreciation and was sad it was ending. Then: Boom! “I’m not a bad person.”
Well, NOW I have a much better understanding of what was behind her statement. As well as so many of her other behaviours. Thank you!
You give and they always take. Shameful people that never give!
I love not seeking revenge. I've found that God's vengeance is much better than anything I can dream up! You will reap what you sow! Maybe not today or tomorrow, but yes you will reap what you sow & it bites you square in the butt when you least expect it & at the most inopportune time!
What if it is the opposite way round, they sew what they reap? If they were genuinely happy and secure people then they wouldn't do what they do. I can't imagine what it would take for me to become somebody like that.
I’m still dealing with the narcissist. But now he crossed the line by bad mouthing me to our child, my daughter who doesn’t know him. Now my son on the other hand knows him because he has seen him in action. I’m definitely through with him and I’m praying for him to leave my life. I’m getting older and in need of peace. This person doesn’t know the meaning of peace. He is a pathological liar, heartless. Has no compassion for anyone including himself. I’m just sorry I wasted my time, energy and life with him. The blinders on my eyes have finally fallen. I never imagined that it was all an act. My God ,I raised three children but only gave birth to two. The third one is him who never grew up to maturity. I’m not his mother, and I want him out of my life. Thank you 🙏 so much for the information.
God bless you. ❤
How stupid of me thinking that he would change. I have changed and are now loving myself the way it should have always been.
U are not stupid for loving someone. Don't beat yourself up. Give yourself the friend called time. He is not capable of love. Just a small angry child that will never mature. No talking, no calls, no contact and no reading their texts. They start loving you, saying sorry and then if u don't response, they attack. Stay away. Stay strong.
I had to put that clause in the divorce decree,,, no bad mouthing the other parent to the child, because I know how he is, so he blamed and badmouthed me t everyone else but my son...dumbass thought I wouldn't hear about it from these same people, he was pissed his free ride was over
Following up on living my best life, no contact, etc.: I am in the middle of a divorce and she initiated contact after nearly a half year of my ignoring her. I did insult her by calling her, truthfully, my abuser. Trigger city. But then is the coup de grace. I forgave her. Many times. Told her that it's not her fault she is this way and she can change. My heart is light, no hate resides in me anymore as forgiveness is for ME. For hating her, the woman I loved. Try it! And best to you kind souls who will survive to thrive.
Revenge is an illusion and a trap. Revenge is getting caught in the trap we think we're setting for others. Dont lower yourself.
He left obscene phone messages on my answering machine for my teenage son to find .
My son being a teenager ( and pissed) made a copy and left it as our greeting😂😂😂 from there I called his mother and played it to share the joy . Then I left it on his own machine , his roommates machine , his works machine …
He was not happy …lol. 😂😂😂😂
His own words , his own voice snarling , threatening and name calling( foul).
Oh now that’s HILARIOUS 😂🤣😭. I wishhh I had that opportunity
Amazing! Kudos to your protective, loving son!
Dealt with quite a few narcissists. The last girl I didn’t catch on she was. In one of my last responses I told her the past two months seemed so fake upon her ignoring my calls and texts. I think she knew the jig was up. And she’s barely made a peep. Love it when my new natural boundaries in practice took care of the issue.
Thanks as always, and for your pleasant disposition 😊
From a young age I was suspicious of my sibling. Fortunately, I started a diary. Kept me stable for decades. Have observed how the things done actually created enemies.
Yes Walk Away
not into revenge but before ghosting I say how I feel about them using me and never reciprocating my generosity and kindness.
shame, not contact, you being happy, being exposed, being viewed as a bad person, losing control,
I read this and worry I was a narc. I feel this still cos I realise how badly I acted. Determined to keep this level of self awareness now and not let my ego run me and control my emotions better.
Maybe I’m from a different world or just so lucky enough not to know what a narcissist people are because I have never been involved in any one of these kind. Until now.. in the beginning I couldn’t figure it out what personality traits this person has .. over in control of me from what food to eat, movie to watch in Netflix, he will drive me everywhere though and now realizing he is totally controlling me. This one is classic.. he will even ask me what am I looking at … wow really? I’m so glad I crossed to your channel 😊
Want to run away hardcore away from these Narcissist’s! 😢❤😮🎉😂😮
Wow, your post are so helpful. It’s like I put my glasses on. Listen to your insights is like seeing clearly.
When I ended the relationship of 5 months, my X Christian Covert Narcissist started posting YT shorts saying “how she was freed from a narcissist”, “Heaven Sent or Counterfeit” and “When you leave a toxic relationship their demons still follow you”.
She would use biblical scriptures to make her feel empowered if I did something wrong. Just downright crazy. Glad I left that and went no contact.👍
Mu ex did this and even posted "anonymous " in FB groups targeting me, calling me.a narcissist. She left a fatal clue it was her, lol. She posted this the day I went exclusive with my then new GF. She blocked all my social media but the day I changed my status to in relationship and my profile was me and my GF, the smear campaign was posted. She either has a fake profile or a spy in my social media.
Pray for her.
Interestingly, two very narcissistic women that I interacted with way back in the day when we were all young and foolish both ended up with infertility problems in later years which apparently effected their egos to a significant extent.
I love this message Christina. Everything you said is Spot on! Thank you so much❤
I had my (un)fair share of narcs, but I learned from that, takes me 30 mins to figure them out, and call em out, after that when they know i can see thru them, they hide and block me. I eat narcs for breakfast now a days👊👊👊
I have a family member I would say is a narcissist. I have had to keep them at arms length. A few years ago I asked this person to pray for another member in our family. A few months later that came back to bite me. She kept the email of me asking them to pray for someone. The narcissist sent the email to the individual I asked her to pray for just cause trouble. I kept saying to myself, why would anyone do that about a prayer request. Then the narcissist told me that she didn’t have time to be brought into my drama. 😳my drama!?! My problem was believing that there was some part of this person who did have empathy. I was wrong.
The narcissist is apart of my family. I stay away from her. If my family choose to see her I don’t stop them. But I see more and more of the family seeing who they are and pulling away.
I truly believe that "time" will expose them.
Revenge is amazing so long as it is very lazily accomplished.
It is generally very easy to alienate them from everyone else and steer others away.
This is the best explanation and example on the enternet
I let them think I’m miserable without them and they leave me alone.
😅😅😅😅😅😅
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Smooth!!!!
Too right I was finally getting better and feeling ready to go back out he turned up - I feel quite setback from that one interaction but it also made me more aware of my own flaws and funnily enough drove me back towards GOD I truly believe he is protecting me and I’m making Great changes in the way I am approaching my life. I’m not all the way back to happy & content but I’m working on it and wishing & praying he also has a great future as I need ti not only forgive myself I need to forgive those that have hurt me
nicely played me too it's kinda nice i ignore him he ignores me but he wants me around so i pretend i'm so sad and miserable and my rent gets paid
First of all I love your voice is very soothing I experienced a narcissist and you were run hundred percent correct the steps you’re talking about seem logical to me but I’m glad an expert validates me
What was interesting to me is she would always say “you never say you love me or you never say you care” but it was never what she wanted to say to me, she tried to get me to say what she wants, which is a controlling thing
I exposed a deceptive pathetic narcissist by telling a sleazy friend who I was suspicious about, about a new girl that I’m dating. Sure enough my friend spilled the beans and told my narcissist girlfriend all about it and she texted a friend inquiring about the new girlfriend. The beautiful thing it was made up and this was the only friend that I told so I nailed both of them wow that felt amazing
The vindictiveness that they’ll go to is amazing! I’ve dumped 3 different women that all did the same stuff to me and they all went deep into being vindictive! The last one immediately started posting things on social media of her doing things with other men... it was crazy bc that was exactly what she was accusing me of! Well, that and trolling people on social, which she just had to tell me about all the men that were reaching out to her of social, which was another thing she accused me of. But then, a dude that gave her a pair of sunglasses while she was waiting for her flight, asked her out on social! And of course she just had to tell me all about it... but, then the smear campaign, her kids, her family and friends, she told me herself that she talked shit about me to them, which I don’t even know what that shot could’ve been, maybe it was that I was calling her out on her gaslighting, deflection, blame placing and making up lies about me. It’s so text book and funny to me. But, this is 4 in a row for me... I give up at this point, f it, I’m done. I’ll just go live my life.
this all makes so much sense. and really hits home right now.
Your channel & extremely calming voice are my #1 coping mechanism for dealing with my narcissistic ex-husband and for not going completely insane from his horrible treatment of me. Thank you 🙏
So true, thank you very much for the support and advice
DO they feel shame ?
I have just realised my partner is a narcissist.
It's answered a lot of questions.
No shame no boundaries, will sleep with anyone and anything. Soulless demons.
Christina I want to thank you for your video. They are helping me. You are a God send.
Thank you 🙂💙
thank you very much all the hint how to duel to Narciss . just lately I'm a victim Narciss abuse me over on IT . all thing you decrible was exactly they are . thanks
Merely question their beliefs, see how pissed they get.
Thank you I have a narcissistic person in my life and it's very difficult because there is a child involved.
I found this very helpful.
My ex partner expects everything to revolve around him with no regards or acknowledging what he has put me through he just talks about himself.
Christ and your acceptance of Him, destroys a narcissist!!! Just ask His will be done on a daily basis, and demons will flee!!!😊
AMEN. Take care of your emotions by submitting unto the Holy Spirit on a daily basis,don't judge or accuse them. Just go silent , ignore and don't talk negatively of anyone.Let the Lord cover you, take control of your thoughts and words. You can do all things,live with all kinds of people through Christ who enables you. Be strong in the Lord Jesus Christ.i suffered foe long but now take the full armour of God for protection and has made it simple and possible .Jesus prayed for us to the Heavenly Father that He God protect us from the evil one.
Having just left a narcissist a few weeks ago... I'm still suffering hard from everything that happened and realizing all of the things I have lost as a result.
Ur right no contact and they luv attention and hate when bin happy and show no emotion when they try to dog or look down me 🤔??
Yet I am loved and respected by many people and teenagers I teach ....
Hey Christina!! 😍♥️🙏
Hi Pete! 🙏♥
I noticed rather extreme differences in the way my mind works over time. I recall the fight or flight reflex from when I was younger, but I don’t really have much of one now. I respond with calm indifference to aggression. It’s not bravery. I just don’t feel afraid or anxious as is normal. Growing up, my narcissistic mother made my life Hell. Lots of screaming and violence. Endless destruction of my confidence and self-respect. But somewhere along the way, I lost the ability to feel afraid of aggression. I also did a ton of combat and strength training, and I’m very comfortable with getting physical if I have to. I hated being a small and helpless victim more than anything in the world. Involuntary emotions became my bane. The only time I really find myself out of control of my emotions now is when one of my dogs passes. But I can live with that. They deserve that respect and love. Dogs and my wife saved my sanity.
One thing I have to say is, not all narcissist are stupid. My wife, after watching these video is clearly a huge narcissist and because I have a few of those tendencies, she has called me one for years. She is very smart and intelligent and can phycoanalize people very accurately. She reads me like a book and can run circles around me out thinking and coming up with stuff on the fly. I really really love her, or so I think, I'm beginning to wonder if it is trauma bonding now. After 14 years together, it is just hard to fathom not being with her, but I hate the way I'm feeling atm.
She must reflect something/feelings that you're used to. There's a comfort level somewhere with her.
Yes they have a super talent for reading you, hence the mirroring. However their emotional intelligence is zero so they will consistently underestimate you and be blown away when you go no contact.
Talk to her. Maybe just show her this message. She might not even know she is driving you away. Woman are very emotional while men are more logical. My husband and I fight but we always talk about why and try to fix it. Ten years. I don't give up. I hope you and your wife can get along better.
Take some time away if you can. Clear your head.. If you want to keep in touch do it on YOUR terms.
Ignore the comment saying to talk with her about it, that's for normal people. These ones just use everything you share with them against you and they're not ignorant, they purposely treat you poorly.
You are perfectly correct, after 42 years with one your words are true